Divorce: Rebbe's view: Stay put until the children grow up, cherish your wife- Rebbe's Advice #3

continuing with uh the Reb's advice the third segment I'll begin reading a few letters about divorce the first letter I would say is the G the Reb's general advice to the issue now given this is a very sensitive topic as discussed yesterday in my introduction and if you didn't hear it I urge you to listen to it not each answer is appropriate for every person however it's not that it's not appropriate it depends on the situation so when it comes to divorce uh there's no question that without consulting with your Rabbi your mashia your friend you know people who mean your best and know you well and know the situation it's absolutely necessary so please even after hearing what the rebba says his own words nevertheless you must you must consult the above mentioned people to see if this is the appropriate thing for you I specifically did not say a therapist a psychologist again not that a a from Orthodox kosher psychologist therapist shouldn't be part of those individuals you consult with but nevertheless the general advice that the Reba gives is to consult Torah oriented people and Prof professionals who have that as their M saand that's what they live with that's what they work with which is in Thea this case the rabet uh spiritual counselors Mash Etc okay so I've titled this letter divorce you were married in accordance with t the Chas were made with hashem's Holy Name you both were blessed with children the greater the greatest blessing a couple can have together with this you both were given a great Mitzvah raising and educating your children culminating with bringing them to the all these rich opportunities were given to both of you as a complete whole unit it is your the wom's responsibility to demonstrate this to all your friends and acquaintances This truly is what makes you happy not the thought of divorce after your children grow up and get married then there will be room to consider getting divorced since the above is T's advice it is definitely the best thing for you this is from my book the re's advice page Pages 101 going on to 102 and it's from the re igis I'm it's from the from thear Mel this the book darar melik page 69 to 70 so as I said earlier you hear the Reba's general advice stay put at least till the children grow up and overall the ne says emphasize the right things and you you'll be happier again are there exceptions yes there are okay let's go to another another letter does not feel appreciated that's the title I gave to this letter I received your letter in which you express your frustration not being recognized for all the hard work you invested in raising a family to respond with an analogy there is a beautiful house that required an architect a contractor and a builder to put it up however people talk about the outside beauty of the house not about the architect's greatness although without him there would be no house as in the moral you are the accus abayas the main stay of the home the woman that is without all your hard work there would be no family the fact that people do do not talk about your investment of hard work means absolutely nothing this is from Sparks ofas the Hebrew section page 56 clearly theba feels it's very important for a woman to be appreciated and for a husband to know that and do things to make his wife feel appreciated and the fact that you just look at the outside in this case the husband and his accomplishments and don't look at the architect which would be in the moral the one behind the house the architect the woman the wife and raising the children doesn't mean that that's not thear AAS that that's not the primary thing in the marriage it's the woman the wife that's the primary aspect of a successful marriage finally regarding the topic of divorce you have children stay put our sages highlight the greatness of Shalom Bay's family Harmony and completely rule out getting a divorce God forbid in your case Hashem has blessed you with children who need a complete home of two parents therefore you should continue your current marriage and be anayas Mainstay of the home understandably you and your husband can share your issues with a raav with a rabbi and ask him to be a mediator this is from The rebis KES volume 26 page 207 thank you and only is good news