Discipline is necessary for genuine love - Spontaneous Love - Rabbi Chaim Dalfin

on page 124 in the the book called Tanya it's the first section of the uh the four the five parts of T called and we're discussing here two levels of love for God and these two levels are also two Consciousness within a person one we call the balat the author calls the first one aa aa means an abundant amount of Love or great love the second one he calls the love the worldly love a love derived from the world and he gives us three differences between the two number one means you are in ecstasy you aren't seeking ecstasy you are already in ecstasy and he and he uses the words it's a love of pleasure in other words I'm not Str struggling to attain the pl pleasure but I am currently in the mode of pleasure for God I have pleasure from God so I'm using the word ecstasy uh in my caption for the sheer yesterday I wrote ecstasy is not infatuation now I wrote that for two two reasons one is because when people see the word infatuation they click on your on your YouTube but really the truth truth be told that infatuation means I seek something and I want to become infatuated with it ecstasy is a a current state of being I am in ecstasy so ecstasy is not infatuation a in other words even uh if you could imagine I'm infatuated with God which is a very lofty experience to be infatuated with God nevertheless there is the eye that's infatuated with the God and there's the eye that's meile outside of God that seeks to become infatuated with God when we talk about M both m m we have a new m m from Florida so so the the the the state of a of an abundant love that's the state of ecstasy the state of pleasure so it's not I'm looking for pleasure I'm seeking pleasure I would like pleasure all of that would be incorporated in AAS the lower level of love the worldly love and yes it's possible and as the Alba says in the last part of yesterday's year that you could reject all fascinations all Wows and say I want you God myself there's a very famous saying of the balatan that you might have heard but it's worth repeating he said it in yish I don't desire your Paradise Al is talking to God God I don't want your Paradise if God I don't want your world to come with all promises all I want is you yourself that feeling is a rejection of Fascinations and illuminations and big lights and big auras and big Angels they're all nice and they're all great but the feeling of of rejecting all of that is is is an a experience which is number two the AL says the difference between abas and abas it's gifted to you you can't buy it in the store and you cannot create it if you do what you're supposed to do and God Almighty decides to give iser today A Feeling OFA it's going to happen whether he's ready whether he's not ready meaning to say whether he's conscious of it not conscious of it in other words can can you prep can you prepare yourself for you can prepare yourself by getting rid of making yourself a vessel for God and then if God wants to give you this extra gift you'll get it but you can you cannot force God's hand to give you the a we also call it AAS that's from the Torah one second Mo the the the the the service of gift God gives the priests you know there's a cohain Levi and Israelite Coen Ley Israel so the kohanim got 24 gifts because they are our Representatives right who's supposed to support them the Y the people they don't work for a living they're praying and and bringing sacrifices and doing all those things so you give them gifts part of animals and you sustain them Etc so the AL says this also alludes to the fact that there's a certain type of activity in serving God that's a gift we know if we ask for a gift we're rude and a and number two you're not going to get it necessarily or many times you don't ask for a gift if you're given a gift you say Thank you so a is a gift a gift consciousness and you know we need to be sensitive to this to say thank you really thank you thank you to Hashem now you you you're probably saying well we say thank you every morning I give thanks to you God what's special about this gift this gift is a very different type of a gift this is not a gift coming from your fact that you realize you woke up in the morning that's important but that's that's a love of a worldly love I live in the world I have a a roof over my head I have food I have friends I have family I'm breathing I'm walking around I thank you God so a that's all coming from the perspective of the world that we live in a is not coming from that perspective aabas is coming from the perspective that there is no existence except God like I told you a there's nothing besides him there's nothing beside M what you want to say m BR yeah what so we spoke about yesterday you have to work for it right there it involved in its lower level we have to work for it when we're work do it mean we're working for it we're working to try to achieve now we're working on the meditation is Bon us to achieve the that's right that's correct and it's and it's attainable and achievable so that experience of Love is workable through meditation through reflection realization how God created the world and what he wants of the world what he wants of us as Jews Etc let's go now to page 124 and we have the second line This level of sometimes it actually comes before the the the idea of fear of a meaning a depending on the amount of focus and concentration that gives off gives rise to love and I'll explain them let me just say the bracket for it is it is focus that includes both the emotions ofid of kindness and the emotion of severity of being strict and judgmental which are expressed in the in the Notions of love and all and at times that precedes and is revealed before what is he saying here we learned until here what's the order the the order is year comes before AA now I I have to put this in perspective especially inab but even in any kir of moment kir of organization the usual line is come get your feet wet come in come into the door enjoy the the coule the the chicken soup of the rabbitson um the dancing and and everything else and uh and and start learning what about all of the ne all of the I'm going to use the word negativity in our life the the things that are unhealthy what about that so generally the attitude of of bentto is you'll worry about that later the attitude of muser which is another school of thought which means the school of of refinement of character it argued no comes before say stopping to do bad and evil and nonsense and and things that are unhealthy for you is first before before ABA before attaining love for God now here in Tanya the AL says that the truth of the matter is in order to really experience a that you spoke about before that we're speaking about here you need y before a rudimentary y a basic acceptance I accept the Yoke of God until now I was eating you know uh ham sandwiches Burger King and uh not putting on Fillin and just doing what I want gossiping with my long beard and cheating on my taxes and all of a sudden I'm going to do chuva I'm going to stop I'm going to why cuz I Fear God I have all for God God says in the Torah it's not for a Jew why when where we'll talk about it later but bottom line is put youran on put the mza on eat kosher be a mench don't cheat don't lie all of that right and I accept that that's called K the acceptance of the Yoke of God that's rudal that's a prerequisite the only thing is because we're so you know we're so um what's the word sensitive in other words we're so if someone tells me something we get bent out of shape I remember my great uncle ra futas he once told me this in La when I was a student Yesa he says he said it to me in yish he said here in America if you say something to someone they say it's not your business it's not your business and he said in Russia it was everyone's business amongst the if you didn't J the other one and you didn't tell the other one stop with your nonsense and get with the program you weren't a it it it wasn't taken oh how can he or she come into my territory you know I put up the facade I remember told me that you know the whole he said he said the the worst ciper the worst the worst idea in America is it's not your business the truth is the Torah says it is our business not my business about you you about me but we are about ourselves it's our business what's going on what's going on with my life you know but because we are you know weak and sometimes feeble-minded therefore we we let it go but the truth is you need y you need K and everyone here knows that right plent before before one accepted ter MIT is 100% they might have belong to a conservative a reform a this or that they had a PES say or this or that but at the end of the day they want to you want to you want to you want to do more you realize hey on your own you realize who am I kidding do I either believe in God's Torah or do I not believe in God's Torah and it's not up to me to write the Torah he wrote it for me he gave it for me anyway says the AL here at this point in t although usually the year comes before needs to come before the AA the all is a prerequisite to having proper love which by the way is true in relationships too if you go into a relationship only in in an emotional way you're looking for a lot of problems there needs to be a distance between the two people who are meeting a distance in what way in emotionally you're not ready yet emotionally intellectually is this the right type of match that would be called the year the all and once you have that yeara then the feelings develop of love for each other but people go into it just with love and heart palpitations and infatuations a lot of issues come from that a lot of issues because it wasn't based on a solid base of y y is necessary for the relationship to grow properly but the AL says here he says sometimes it's vice versa sometimes the ABA can come before the year so although we've said everything we've said is true but nevertheless sometimes the now let's continue let's very important thought he says now since it's possible for at times for the love to be before the pretty heavy words it is possible for the wicked person and The Sinner and the transgressor CH to do a Chu coming out of love of God that is born in his heart is gener in his heart remember the word from the last chapter again when you remember God the seat of all evil is iser forgetfulness when you remember hasem then you you you gravitate to him yes the of Bala or Russia here so does he mean is he being consistent with his terminology of Russia bad in other words when he says b or Russia does it mean for that moment no I I good question I don't think so I think heing means the Cal Russia uh how do we how do we understand that how do we understand it so here we are as potential ban in him and ALB is saying that even if we have once sinned and we were a Russia at the time or we are now a balava we keep on doing trans transgressions there's still hope because if you meditate on the greatness of God and it develops a feeling of Love at times it can it can overpower everything else so it's an exception to a rule this entire part today is really kind of a parenthesis you know um it it in other words it's another it's another style it's another method that comes from time to time but it's not the ordinary the ordinary way way is year before AA but I would say I'm glad you asked that question I didn't even think about it so I'm so happy that you asked it I believe that he's talking about a colloquial Russia balava he's not referencing here his definition of Russia earlier because and that's why mha he adds the words balava he doesn't say just Russia why does he have to say both M he could say Russia we know what a wicked person is a wicked person meaning in the sense of disobeying God God's Commandments he doesn't suffice with that he says Russia ubal so I think he's he's go ahead go ahead just it's difficult to understand it because here we've been you know conditioning ourselves and training ourselves so to speak Ian right right for the terminology of you know a person let's say Russia for that moment let's say so to speak so I'm just saying it's it's it's challenging to I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around these like the Cal term because it feels very open-ended I I I I understand but as I said knowing that this whole section here is like a parentheses it's a sidebar it shouldn't throw you off it you know just this a sidebar can it be Poss possible is it possible for someone who's a sinner a transgressor you know in the colloquial worldly sense you go outside you ask who's a sadic someone does a lot of Mitzvah who's a Russia someone who does sins who's a b someone in between that you know with without getting to the Al's entire philosophy and and ideology that we been studying the T you're right but you know you can't lose sight of the simple meaning in the in in the colloquial way as people speak about it the Albi here employs it because he wants to make a point his point is that even someone who is so who is sinning who's transgressing and he and we call him a BAL Vera which by the way that's that's a heavy statement you you could say someone goofed off he made a mistake but when you say someone's a bav you mean he is he or she are immersed in their transgression they enjoy their transgressions they make a lifestyle of from their sins that's a heavy thing and Al says even such a person if if if somehow he comes to a point where he reflects on God's Med greatness listen this is tra I don't have to tell you guys everyone knows I'm not speaking about you I'm speaking about you you know people people who were really B you know Bal AA all kinds of Bal AA and when the and when and if they have that moment uh that Peak Zenith moment of chuva they stop they stop and they really mean it and they won't do it again that's a real B trua and it's not easy so let's continue I want to finish yes I'm sorry wait wait no go ahead just if says why does Al have to use both L Russia and B if you just say B Vera we would all understand and then we wouldn't get confused with Russia right right I I don't have the answer and as you see when it comes to you know the usage of two words and one word it's not the style that I was taught in Tanya by my teachers I and that wasn't the tradition in kabad but the Reb's father uh used usually points that out so maybe I if I get a chance shabas to see if I see something I'll let you know something someone is not muted here and I hear Yoni just just a question yeah just a question to what an additional question to what he asked yeah is is isn't somebody if somebody is a Russia he's automatically a BAL vera mean like I don't know what's Vice you know vice versa but so whatever but I I hear you but that's that that so I that's why I said and again I didn't I this is my own thought a Russia means a Russia technically means one time you do an AA do you know that or not Yi you're thinking of a Russia the way it's used on the streets of Brooklyn I'm not talking about that Hally a Russia is someone who one time does a sin is a russer brings it on the first page of Tanya the first page he says if you have an opportunity to learn Torah and you don't learn Torah that one moment you're a Russia and he brings a gamar for that bav Vera means not you did it one time you did it 500 times you comp you you repeat it so I use the word lifestyle Bala Vera means you're making transgressions and this and violation of God's will a lifestyle of yours uh intentionally or unintentionally but you just keep on doing it a habit Russia technically means for whatever reason today I didn't put on for whatever reason today I cheated you know my taxes I broke the law I embarrassed someone okay all of all transgressions no difference between one and the other those that believe it's a difference are making a big mistake and a is an A A transgression is a transgression any transgression as the AL explained to us in chapter 22 in Tanya it's severing the connection with God what's the difference if you sever the connection whether you're not putting on film today or reading not Kosher or you're cheating someone or you're embarrassing someone it's all the same so but but nevertheless so so Russia this is my own thought Russia implies kind of a one-time act not not a lifestyle Bava means a lifestyle so he says both but I I don't want to you know make up more you know make up stories if if if I see a comment from the re's father or another um you know big mind and accepted uh interpreter of Tanya I I'll share it with you let's continue please please um mute yourself I hear some noise okay let's go V now he says he says don't think that just meditating on God and creating AA is adequate to do Chua you need to have what we call a a a fear within love it might be very minute you're fearful of the sin there are cameras here in New York I don't know it's in Bish they're cameras you go 36 you get tickets that's the way it is guess what we slow down we don't want another ticket you know hate you know that hey there there's punishment there Law and Order if not we have chaos like we had the other day right as I spoke about there's Law and Order there needs to be Law and Order so the Law and Order sometimes is subordinate but yet included in the in the Ava in other words AA must always have an element of year in it love must always have an element of fear in it for love to be genuine and and and and and good and correct it must have an element of Y that's what theat says here it's a y it's a it's an all fear of God that's CL it's included within the AA let's continue but what's revealed what's revealed is the love in your heart and in your mind you see he says this is from time to time it happens for Clearly say it's a temporary instruction means a temporary instruction this is an acception to the rule this entire discussion here that we're talking about through the Divine Providence from God for the necessity of the moment right at the end of he was the biggest sinner there wasn't a woman that he didn't have relations with and all all of a sudden right pretty good guy at the end of his life he does chuva and he gives a shout out God accept me right and all that and what happens and rebi I think rebi says his his trua was accepted what do we see here is someone who's a sinner all his life and such sins it was a Lifestyle by him right and all of a sudden he gives something happens where he says o I'm so far and I reject everything at this moment and it really becomes about about to with that moment he's forgiven so in other words Al says at times the person's Chua and and and his love for God overshadows the sin and forgives him however the normal way of serving God is not the the way we just mentioned the normal way that is organized and dependent upon man's Choice one needs to preface first the Fulfillment of by having the lower level of fear of War small level not doing what you're not supposed to doing good cuz that will illuminate your Godly soul with the light of T and after you have the rudimentary level of then you'll be illuminated with the level of of love and he says in the brackets at the end of the chapter the word right after you shall love your God the word vria it's numerically equ equivalent is based P or twice the the the value of the word or or is how much 207 how much is the 414 as those that study know know about this what's his point his point is that in order for the to be the love God with your heart that needs to be the first or what is the first or the first light the first light is the light of Torah mitz Torah mitzvas he says will be properly done when it's predicated on y so what he what he concludes in the chapter is he's saying to us the normal way is year before a is there once in a while an exception like and we can and and it can be experienced vice versa it is but it's not the norm so what I walk away with from the chapter um is is that it's very important especially as people as ourselves midlife you know with children grown children and grandchildren everything else those of us that have that and those that will have it God willing we need to start really uh doing a little more in the year you know we're not beginners you know you know we're not coming into aab house with you know you know at 18 to 20 22 and or or or later and and not knowing an olive in a base we've been around the block so if you've been around if we've been around the block it's about Europe it really is and it's and you know and and a lot of times I just you know my my my YouTube uh um uh piece uh you know had thank God already 12,000 hits with over 100 comments you can't you can't imagine the comments on there all kinds of comments now I'm just saying one point I'm not saying this to to toot my own horn the the point that of several of the comments is this nuda the nuda is and this is coming probably from some Lisha oriented people which is fine in other words Hegel biters you you m of everyone you bring everyone into the Hub everyone is good everyone's accepted no Jud judgments you beautiful but there's a time and place where you have to get down to nitty-gritty and to work out issues and and and I believe that that's that's what he's saying here the AL there is a time for that now when you recognize someone whether it's your own child your own family or others are not ready to hear it you got to back off cuz if you don't back off you make it worse they won't want to walk into your house just this morning give me an example I get an email I find out later she's it's a woman from London and she's criticizing some some of the something I said which is against which she considered it against the M okay and I didn't really say that although maybe I intimated it you know and and she wrote me this long email like okay what do you think I did I answered her in a calm way and I said I hear you however there's another way to look at it she became my best friend she continued emailing me with a different tone for the next 10 minutes 20 different emails I said I got to stop I got to go down I am busy now diffuse the problem I think Micha you're very good at that being that godes you got to diffuse the problem you know very very important and iser you too with those people coming and giving you all kinds of stuff you got to defuse the problem with a smile with a smile you you know a smile goes so far and I'm talking to myself because I don't always smile but when I smile and I see the virtue of that smile it goes you can diffuse everyone I mean you can't imagine I've gotten criticism about this from the right and the left all kinds of people from the top down okay my ongoing sha is defusing the problem I hear you what about this this is not exactly what I meant you know now I'm not foolish I know that I'm not going to have all lovers I'm going to have haters that's the way life is when you take a public stance you're going to have lovers and haters otherwise get out of the kitchen right I understand that but nevertheless within the the world of disagreement and especially when things are you're passionate about them you know it has to be this way it cannot be this way you she writes to me about 770 being the Palace of the king so I wrote to her back I wrote to her you know that verbage is very fiery and there are quite a few people that are upset with that verbiage and then I said to so she said I didn't mean that meant in Israel the 770 is called the Palace of the king I said you know what in Israel n that could work for in other words AR Israel is Passion Israel is is is you know AR can handle that you can agree disagree but but by us in America you know it's too much it's over the top so you know again I'm not I I I don't expect it a fully agree with me but at least finally you got to get Common Ground common ground with people who disagree with you simp simp yeah you know you know what there's a a Kamara um an a great reab this is the Trev the Kamar I met him y once and I used to see him speaking to ran and you know I'm I'm a great of I'm a student of his you know close student so it everything about him I really wanted to know so I went over to this was in in in the um Theus RS building he lives on one and he has a he had a chw there I forget his whatever his name was so I said to him could you tell me a little bit what you discussed with he said I'll tell you one thing we used to learn the Reb but Rab's power was to me he says in his abil ability to withhold and not say what need not be said you know that I remember when when the war broke out and I remember MOA on M we were talking was a little heated and MOA said I don't want to talk about it you know and that's it he zipped his mouth I don't know how long it lasted but the the ability to hold back and this is a k it's called the of to stop yourself to prevent yourself it's much harder than the the to give to give so this idea of diffusing you know the heated conversations and opinions and criticism takes the ability to to hold yourself back and it's and you know for someone like me frankly it's very hard cuz I like to say things the way it is CU that's my you know that's my strength and at times that's my downfall so the ability to to channel and to and to curtail and to sit back that's very important so they help us today is told to interpret the Torah says in 70 languages which means to do to reach out and what we're doing teaching in English and again Moshe duer mark drer thank you very much for joining us uh I'm sure you'll sh what' you say was okay I I hope um you enjoyed it and uh I'm sure I'm sure I will hear from you will I have sh tonight so we're doing Tanya tonight okay so you and charom will Le Tanya tonight so doesn't everyone we're going off now and we'll see everyone Monday have a great chabas and only good things but now bye amen