Derech Mitzvosecha Minu Melech #5 - Street Smart is fine art, Kesher, Chocham & Malchus - RC Dalfin

So good today we're learning the mitzvah of the we're on page in the English would be I guess 109. We're talking about a zy, a piece of zy that says that Abraham, Yakov, and Yoseph gave away part of their life, their years that they were destined to live. And he gave him to David Aamelik, King David, so that he should exist because from on high he was not destined to live. There was a soul called David but there was no years for him on earth. So first Adam Harishan the first man gave him 70 years of his life. Hence um Adam only lived 930 years instead of a thousand years which he was supposed to but he gave away 70. And then that's from the medish I believe. And then the Z says that Abra Jacob and Yseph gave him each a certain amount of years from their life which accumulate accumulated to be 70 years. The question is if so he should have lived 140 years not only 70 years. And we know that it says in Tanakh that he only lived 70 years. So the is explaining that and and the reason he's explaining this is because he's he's getting he wants us to understand better what a mel right we sing David the king of Israel lives forever why not why don't we sing it about we don't Ezekiel de etc etc only about David. And we know the answer is because David is kingship, royalty. Mashiach comes from the Davidic house, not from Solomon's house. And we spoke about this in one of our last shum last week. Um the difference between David and Schlay. I I think it's an important share to to really listen to and understand the difference between the aggression of David and the peacefulness of Solomon. Hence, Solomon Schllay was the one who built the temple. David didn't build it his father. But nevertheless, who conquered the land and who was the the one that was the the the warrior and the one that Mashiach will come from? Not Solomon, not Schlimmer, but rather David. And we spoke about that last week. Today we're going to learn about what is it about David Melik in in mystical terms and we'll try to bring it down in practical terms. So one more point. So so it it says that David is called Nafla means to fall. In other words, someone who has, god forbid, a seizure, falls down, right? So, so David was was that type of a soul. He was a soul that wasn't was supposed to fall, not be here. So, explains that was sub submerged in is speech. Speech is practical oriented. Do this, don't do that. Speech is already to the outside. Wisdom is to the inside to within yourself was as it submerged. So therefore when is accessed and and and utilized there's no room for and that's why intelligent people what what does it say in that that famous rule that's so true a a you want to be wise keep your mouth shut I'm sorry for saying it so in the vernacular be quiet people that talk a lot are not very intelligent and if you know or they're not as intelligent other people and you know I've met people I'm sure that you know they didn't talk much but highly intelligent intelligent not just talking about information you know being a bookworm or having a database with a Google head I'm not talking about that that's memory that's other parts of the brain I'm talking about intelligent in Yiddish the word is aluger when you need a piece of advice you go to auger Mench, you go to someone who he hones in on the issue and he addresses that. He doesn't address the sidebars, which most of the time most people do. They go off to this tangent and that tent, right? You got to hone in. The Reba sent people who had questions of business to a certain Rashiva and Talum in Montreal rabbi his name was Rabbi Shay Isaac. There were three brothers. Um one became the Rav and Crown Heights later. He was my 11th grade rebha. But he had a brother Isaac Shre. Isaac was known as a Pikach shrewd smart man. And when the rebba when people business people came and asked the about this or that he said consult with Isaac that's what I heard you know so I'm saying when we talk about it's not just a bunch of knowledge that's not what is in the in the terms of yes there is wisdom as knowledge that's a conventional way of oh he's a but when we Hey, when we say we're talking about a deep intelligence, kind of the source of wisdom and those people don't talk. You want to really be a keep quiet. Now, naturally, there's a time to talk. You know, we've spoken about this too over the years. someone who's gifted in a certain area and he doesn't talk and he doesn't show off and he's always hot like we said in several weeks ago he's modest and quiet and he's unassuming is at the side in the shul he's by himself and all that they come over to you they say this you know we heard you're you're you're a great pianist that example I don't know whatever you know come perform help us for our fundraising dinner for the shul no no no no no go to someone else I don't know how to do it that's fallacy that's that's that's a lie That's that's ga that's not humility. You're lazy or or you're stingy. YOU DON'T WANT TO GET INVOLVED. But if you're gifted with something and each and every one of us should know what we're gifted with, you know what we excel in. I don't even gifted you excel in, right? And you could do something for the clal. Pick up your loins and help help. You know, you need to be paid a little bit. Fine. Tell them that. But I'm just saying don't. So when is active is submerged. Speaking goes to the grave. Excuse me. It's like submerged. There's no speaking now. It's now we're in. That's why when other maicians saw that that that David is submerged, he said, you know, there's also a place for sub for for Dbor and there's a place for David. A king needs to speak. I the father of humanity. It's a different realm. Not a better realm. It's a different realm. So it was Marician who made it possible for David TO EXIST. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? Now you understand look how beautiful explaining. What does it mean THAT HE GAVE HIM 70 YEARS? HE EXCUSE ME HE MADE IT POSSIBLE to realize that THERE'S A PLACE WHERE DAVID for kingship for speaking for ruling and that you could be other Marishian with the greatest intelligence but you don't build that way. In other words, as much as we say the virtue of of right that's not malus you see. So on one hand it it it requires marishian to give permission and to realize the importance of malus of deepur and make that emerge i.e giving him 70 years to exist on earth. So he has another point. How is it that other marishian has that mark? How is it that that first manish realizes that? So he says because the kesser the crown on adarishim sends messages from on high into him. Hey Adam, you got to give you got to give a place for kings, rulers, relationships, speech because a world of silence isn't our world. You know, we talk about the virtue of silence. The story that I I share always which is was a lesson for me I got it about 2530 years ago when I met the rebi and I brought one of my uh person who I was being macar and learning with and um we I think I told you we met with him from 5 5:00 a.m. till quarter to 7. And I'm not exaggerating. It was it was like a once- ina-lifetime transformational experience. And I'm telling you, you know, it's dark and then it becomes already dawn and now it's becoming light and people are going to the mikvah the shul and and and we're talking about mashiach and about raising children about learning with daughters, girls. I mean, fascinating things we discussed. We discussed he asked me about and I you know and I count and I responded and then he added his own explanations at the end at the end at a quarter to 7 before he himself called a taxi for us to take us back to the Renaissance hotel in Yosha over there next to Kir Mosha not Kir Mosha next to you know where the America Harav is by the bridge the uh whatever Rupin bridge it's called so um my friend who's a deep a deep thinker and you know u special person. So he said to him, he said to him with tears in his eyes, he said, "Rebby, thank you for teaching me the virtue of silence." Never forget those words. You understand? We're standing like it's face to face. He I and the option of a rebi a4 to 7 in the morning in his little apartment and because the you know before he says you know how he says he takes the cup and he looks at he says it's like you're going TO DROP THAT ON THE SPOT FROM HIS EYES LOOKING AT YOU. IT'S SO SCARY. It's so intense until he SAYS and and and that whole mannerism of the silence. So my friend picked up on it and he said, "Thank you for teaching me the virtue of silence." But but but what I want to say is that if you're if you're only in the world of silence and you don't bring in the world of det of action of dor you can't build people you know I talk about when I fabang sometimes I say there's three kinds of yeah we'll leave it when I frag with you guys I'll share that with you but one of them is where no one talks and yet everyone listens. You know when when there's only an a little and a little and a little you don't got to say anything. The song goes into your kishkas, into your ber into your bones and turns you upside down. The niggan the twus, right? So, so it's other it's it's other marisham who gets an inspiration from kesser from the crown and the crown gives it to him. And I want to just even though we didn't learn the text just came to this thought that's what a rebi is. People ask always why do I need a rebi? I have a rabbi avd what what's a reb was a reb is the kesser. There is mus there is other marishian but both are already defined. Keser is above that. A Reba is the one who sets the stage. And that's why for one person will say do this. For another person will say that you know the famous story with the Reb, the famous story that you know the Reb would receive thousands of letters. I I myself saw the the male come to 770 IN SACKS SACKS EVERY DAY when I was a Bak yeshiva. the mail the man would come in and he would leave it there and the reb would open up every letter. So they they so I think it was um one of the secretaries I forget who it was or maybe Zan Jaffy one of said cuz opening opening opening your hand gets tired. So he said Reba can we buy you a letter opener you know automatic you put it in. And the Reb said, "Absolutely not. A Jew writes from his heart and you want me to open his letter in an automatic way. You hear that? Do you understand what a Reb is? There's no automatics here. People got bar mitzvah letters and wedding letters and brisk letters and and pregnancy letters and and it seems to be the same letter. The same letter with the Reb's signature. MY DEAR FRIENDS, IT'S NOT that way. Every letter was looked at. Every name was thought about. The fact that the nusa, the text might be the same is the same in most cases. It's not the same. It's for you and your name and your situation. That's Kesser. Kesser cannot be, you know, defined. Well, it has TO BE INTELLIGENT. NOW, IF YOU WROTE to the to Yankul the same letter, you wrote and you're writing now to Mosa and to Isra and to everyone the same letter, THEN WHAT WHAT'S THE SPECIAL GIVE THIS LETTER? IT'S THE SAME LETTER. That's that's a good intelligent question. But there's something greater than intelligence. Arb wrote it. Ab looked at your name. In other words, he's substantiating that Jacob Ben Miriam's wife should have a healthy pregnancy and that's different THAN HILL'S WIFE HAVING A pregnancy or a bar mitzvah or a marriage. IT'S NOT THE SAME. SO DIFFERENT PEOPLE, BUT THE WORDS ARE THE SAME. SO WHAT THE WORDS could be THE SAME BUT THE ENERGY THAT'S CREATED THROUGH THE SADDIC the is individualized and that's why this is only this is because in talmut it doesn't make sense IT'S REPETITIOUS RUBBER STAMP IT RUBBER STAMP IT HAVE TO OPEN EVERY SINGLE letter let the machine do it for you that's not a So when we learn a mime like this and we're talking about these cabalistic levels of malos and dur and kesser I think you you you can you could really you know work with it if you if you if you look at it this way okay that's the monologue and now let's begin we're on page in this mitzvah we are uh I would say we're about 15 lines in the top in the middle of page. The line begins with the words. Take a moment to find it. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, seven, 16 lies in the top in middle of that line after the comma. And this is the idea of the seven is that gave to David to King David. The seven emotional attributes within wisdom within which included with within the 10 seven times 10 is 70 and through that there was a inspiration of effluence coming from superernal wisdom into speech. Now he goes to a verse in him chapter 30 I will exalt you God because you have slept me out. Look how he explains how he explains it by by by getting an emanation an inspiration from Hashem refers to Kesser is inspiring you which is THROUGH THIS YOU LET ME out its out the speech to be revealed from his concealed state in chapter to 30 hill right I don't think you ever learned the the words of he was signing this way I know I didn't when is exalted i by being inspired and getting a level from THAT THEN I SLEPT out and revealed from my CONCEALED STATE WITHIN and I emerge with speaking kingship ruling etc. Yes. >> So the so the word uh dilani here seems to have it's like a different meaning. I always thought like I was lowered down but it's like it's like bringing up. >> There's three days a little bit. Right. >> You're hil You're right on. You're not wrong. There's three interpretations of a deal. One is the one you said, one is the one that said is even the third one. >> So he's focusing on this one. Okay. >> Right. Because the word is associated with dal, poor, poverty, you know, broken. Okay. The concept that there is a effluence coming from of this is pure. Now let me explain is sir put on your yourid cap your thinking. THERE IS ASMA is already a father figure to the mid right intelligence. There's pure intelligence and there's kind of impure intelligence. What does impure intelligence mean manashe? Not not god forbid in a bad way. IT'S THE WAY INTELLIGENCE ALREADY IS A FATHER FIGURE FOR WHAT COMES NEXT WHICH IS BEHAVIOR WHICH is midos emotions. BUT THEN THERE IS INTELLIGENCEMA AS IT'S beereft of midos or better said the way midos are submerged in kma and and and the idea that midos are also a player don't exist on that level you could say there's a there's an English word the notion what is what does the notion mean the notion is not yet practicality the the example I've given you many times YOUR WIFE TELLS YOU TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE GARBAGE. You do it. YOU HAVE LOVE FEELINGS, HEART PALPATIONS OF LOVE. WHY YOU TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE? IF YOU DO, I'm sorry. Something's wrong. You don't You're TAKING OUT THE GARBAGE CUZ YOU NEED TO TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE. SO, THE NOTION OF love in the ACT OF TAKING OUT THE GARBAGE IS SUBMERGED. IT'S NOT RELEVANT. IT'S NOT THERE IN A SENSE. WHAT DO I MEAN IT'S NOT THERE? IT'S NOT THERE in in in actuality, but it does exist because when you sit back and you say, "I did this for my wife because I care and love her and all that." So then THE ACT OF TAKING OUT THE GARBAGE IN HINDSIGHT IS the ultimate of love. WHEN YOU DO SOMETHING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO DO AND YOU DO IT FOR THE OTHER PERSON, THAT'S REAL LOVE. THAT'S REAL CARE. THAT'S REAL ATTRACTION. That's real emotions. So the is saying and explaining there is the way is already A FATHER figure two EMOTIONS THEN THERE IS THE WAY IS not it's in its own WORLD BUT EVEN ITS OWN WORLD IT'S IT IT it has a notion of love a concept of of of of a that's what he says continuing There is a level of a lower level of mid just like we just explained. There is midos within THERE'S ALSO WITHIN midos emotions right listen Mark EMOTIONS IF EMOTIONS HAVE NO GUIDANCE FROM from intelligence they're raw and they're wild and it messes up people and hill I'm sure sees this daily in his work that's where people get into big trouble there needs to be A BALANCE BETWEEN THE and the SO SAYS JUST as there's there's also continuing he gives the example a king or let's say a how do you how do you implement ment what the rabbi wants. How do you implement what the board wants? That takes NOT TO SAY THE RABBI WANTS THIS. IT'S THE WAY IT IS. WELL, you could do that and you lose your congregation and you can you can close up shop in a few years or the board. It's the way it is. the the the the smarts of a gabi is to take the rules of THE RABBI AND THE BOARD and to soften it and to tweak it and to and to you know what I'm saying to bring the same idea and that's you would call a great negotiator a gaba needs to be a negotiator right you know you listen to the congregants they have their complaints they have their issues the window should be open I remember kesh the window I sat next to The window should be open. THE WINDOW SHOULD BE CLOSED. IT'S TOO COLD. IT'S TOO HOT. You have this in every shoe, right? A GOOD GUY SOMEHOW usually there's always exceptions when you have one or two people who are really, you know, but can can tweak it, you know. Okay, how about moving your seat here? I'll give you a nice honorable place over here where the air conditioner is not blowing so much. You know, it's a silly exa it's a silly example. It's it but it it's so true as you as we all know from shooles and the same is true in in everything. Yesterday, you know, I'm working on a book for someone and there involves transcription and and the one who hired me and I hired a transcriber wasn't happy. You know, THE DEAL CAN FALL APART IN A MINUTE. JUST SAY the wrong word. WELL, YOU KNOW, YOU CONTRACTED WITH me and you don't like it. too bad. What What do you accomplish? Even if he says okay, that means he's finished with you and you'll never SEE HIM HIRING YOU AGAIN. Like I told the the transcriber, the customer is always right. I don't know how how uh Iser relates to that with the customers that he had at the clinic, but in in business, if you don't have that attitude, the customer is always right, you're not getting the repeat customer. Now if you're big enough and you don't care okay but if you if if you need the customer and you want more customers and want to have a good name shame to where people say you know he has principles but he works with US HE WORKS WITH you he will negotiate he'll compromise he'll listen oh that's that's solid you know again a doctor you know only not a doctor but an expert in his field. He's telling you that his view is you need this or you don't need this. So do this or do that. You don't want to listen. You're on your own. And I've BEEN TOLD THAT BY DOCTORS and it's true. You're on your own. A doctor can tell you what what he knows based on his learning and his studying and his and his observation and from from doing his work for years. So there's a time when you have to put your foot down, but even then you can put your foot down in a very or you can put your foot down with a smile. I'm telling you when I had these cataracts, I was in the office with the opthalmologist. You know, it was early morning. I probably got up on the left side that morning. He probably got up on the left side. He came into the room after I waited 45 minutes and you know, I was supposed to go in right away and I have a shear on and on and on. So I said something, you know, that was you're like just don't speak that way to me. And I said, you know what, you're right. You're right. And then he said to me, and I apologize for saying that to you. when two people, you know, when they could work things out and they have a relationship and of sorts of sorts, you know, and each one knows his area, you could make a life. The same is true of marriage. Two people can be very different. But if they respect each other and and they give room for each other's idiosyncrasies, not their strengths, their idiosyncrasies, right? What's a successful marriage? accepting the other person's weaknesses and if you can't you have no business marry them marrying them you can't accept the other person's weakness don't marry them because you're going to have a lot of issues I don't know if the counselor here agrees with me he'll but in my coun >> yeah you know so how do we see this from this mime we've been talking kind of psychology here because the seamic says here that the the the kingdom the kingship the mal needs needs. In other words, you can be a king, YOU CAN BE A RABBI, YOU CAN BE A BOSS, BUT IF YOU DON'T HAVE SOMEONE ADVISING YOU with and when to use WHEN TO USE GURA, it's going to be a disaster. SO SAYS THIS IS THE BENEFIT OF THE WITHIN THE midos and that's why truth be said a good CEO needs good people under him. A good rabbi a good RV needs good gaboyam under him. It it's it's it's it's a it's um it's not an easy thing. You know I'm not a gaba. You guys are some of you are gaboyam. But if you think about it, it it's really an art. I'm telling you, it's an art because when you have when you're CONFRONTING PEOPLE, THE RABBI CAN HIDE BEHIND YOU. THE BOARD CAN HIDE BEHIND YOU, BUT YOU'RE ON THE FIELD. YOU GOT TO YOU GOT YOU TAKE ALL THE KLEP AND ALL THE ZETSES AND ALL THE COMPLAINTS and all that. And if you if you do a good job of that and you use your smarts, your then you know when to be then you know when to be I remember uh we had a discussion over here one of many years ago Mosha probably remembers with someone who on you know got himself shik and came into shul and acted silly remember that discussion Mosha you know and and and and you know and the first feeling was by some throw him out of sh like he's a drunk and he's not he's acting really. And Mosa told me what he did. He put his hand around him and he said, you know, take it easy, relax, you know, maybe take a break, take a little water, let's talk about it. I don't know if you remember that, but I do. So, so, so that's the within the mid and the is saying just as David needs to emerge otherwise he wouldn't exist. So, he needed the 70 years from Adam in a sense NEEDS DAVID AND ADAM SAYS I WANT DAVID. WHY DO I WANT DAVID? BECAUSE I NEED someone to implement the rule and with my guidance OF INTELLIGENCE OF ADAM OF Adam it'll be proper. Okay. Hope hope everyone enjoy one rebie just one thing. >> Yes. >> So So could it also be um I I I this is something very different from all the other rebas that we learned from all the other rebas. I find it's it's a it's a duda that's very interesting that I don't think we touched on because I think on all the other the rebas they really do touch on similar aspects and similar topics. But as far as the we're talking about intellectual and kind of like street smarts like you're talking about a little bit like let's say you know you have a situation like you mentioned the rabbi and the and the gab or something like that where you have to you know not necessarily what the rabbi the rabbi is saying is correct but the implementation if you kind of you know go with the if you go with the whole thing of a bull in a china shop you're not really going to get anywhere. You need to be diplomatic. You need to have a little bit diplomacy and a little bit of street smarts. >> I would say it's included in that, but I wouldn't limit it to that. It's it's there's no question that street smarts is very important for ag. But it's it's more than that. It's really being connected to what's the right thing. You know, when we talk about especially godly, we're not talking about street smarts. Remember the story I told you from I heard this from Rabbi Kay Mitadrien in today's in in in Florida in Aventura and and he was the the first uh schlak at Berkeley at Berkeley California 1977 and he told me this just quickly that that um he got in 1975 he got Bill Graham not Billy Graham Bill Graham who was a survivor to put to fund the minora The big large monora in San Francisco Union Square was the first major monora and event. A thousand people came 1975. Bill Graham's monora. >> I think I was there. >> You were there. Okay. Living a living proof. >> The first year but one of those that time. Okay. And who gave him permission? The city gave him permission. Right after the event, the reformed rabbi and the right away and went to the federation, separation of church and state and it was a big fiasco and they have pull you know kabad and it was still you know small change and um so they came the next year he needed to get permission again you know for the city to give permission for a variance they said we can't give it to you because not all of the Jewish community supports it but we'll give you another beautiful place So he said, "Let me let me have a few days to think about it." So what does he do? You know, he he he writes to the Reb, and the Reb tells him to to consult with Kabad people, local Kabad people. In 1972, there were no local Kabad people in Berkeley or in San Francisco. Okay. Carob left already and Rabbi Rosenfeld left whatever. There were a few Orthodox people, Rabbi Lipner, others, but he said Anash Kabad people. Guess who comes into town? Rabbi Raichik and Rabbi Mendelutas. They would come for a day, come and leave the same day because Raichik had some of his of his friends from from the yeshivan Poland, the survivors who made did well and he took Ramen there to raise money for the yeshiva the Bkar and yeshiva which I believe still exists today and then you know there was no ONE ELSE TO REALLY go to when they left. So, so Rabbi Trezen says, "Aha, the Reb just told me to consult Anash. I have no Anash, BUT YOU GUYS JUST POPPED IN. SO, IT'S to you people." He consults with them. And he tells Ramen this, "What should he do?" So, Rendle asked him if you could trust their word and and prison said, "Absolutely." But these people in San Francisco, A WORD IS A WORD. They might They may not be religious, but if they say something, they're going to live up to it. And Aradal tells him, "You should agree." And he can't believe it. Romeo Fivus sat nine years in Siberia who fought communism, Stalism, didn't give in. is telling Drizzen in San Francisco to give in TO THE FEDERATION, BASICALLY GIVING into the reform, not to have another public event at Union Square, but to do it IN A NICE PARK WITH NICE FLOWERS. And men told them the example mark, listen to this, a a a horse, A BULL, AN OX, BEFORE THEY GORE YOU, not really a horse, but before they gore YOU WITH THEIR HORNS AND ALL OF THAT, THEY go back. THEY GO BACK AND THEN THEY RUN CHARGE FORWARD. That was the muscle men gave men gave. that sometimes to climb higher you have to go BACK AND GOING BACK IS A PROCESS OF GOING FORWARD ULTIMATELY. Robert Jerusen listened and he agreed and like he told me and and I saw this he told me this like 50 years later 40 years later when he told me this his face turned red. I asked him how many people did you have? He said 50 people at Union Square. He had a thousand. And at this nice place with nice roses, maybe it was the San Francisco Gardens over there near the water. I don't know where it was, right? But he said he was right cuz at the end the Oh, and they and they told him, the Federation said to him, "If you don't have as many people in this new place, next year, the third year, 1977, I guess, we'll let you come back and have them there." And it's been there ever since every year the Bill Graham Manora San Francisco Union Square. And if you think about it, it would have not been that way. In other words, if you would have had it a second year, there's no question that the the the reformed rabbi and the federation would would would stop it and or it would go to court and it' be a big to-do. So why am I saying that? Y you have to know what the MS is. It's not just street smart BECAUSE STREET SMART SOMETIMES can be street smart but it's not what Titus says. You have to know the em. You have to know what the Titus says. Now the street smart is how to apply it. That's what I wanted to add. So I'm not excluding what you're saying. I'm I am uh elevating uplifting the street smart to be a a a holy street smarts and and this makes a big difference because sometimes your hands as a gabi a leader are tied you can't do it as much as I'd like to do it right said I can't do what you my hands are tied That's it. You could do whatever you need to do and that's between you and God. I can't do it. His my hands are tied. So a person needs to know that. Agab needs to know that that and it comes to a point where you say, "My dear friend, congregant, I love you a lot, but this is beyond the pale. I can't do it. I can't get it accomplished." Have a great day. We'll see everyone tomorrow. Good learning. Shalom. Byebye. Very good. Byebye.