Bochurim, stop drinking. It's the responsibility of leaders & Mashpiim to stop them - RC Dalfin

In continuation of the clip I made yesterday about the drinking culture and the drinking problem. I received many comments both on the YouTube channel and on the website chabad.info. chabad.info. So, I'd like to just a few more points. In making this clip it was difficult to decide whether it's worth it or not because many will say there goes Dolphin again being negative and critical. And I decided that although that will take place for the better of the better good, it's important. And let the chips fall where they fall. Because in my heart I know that I'm I mean well. I mean your best. And this has become a pandemic. The drinking culture. And by the way, it's not just in Chabad. It's all over. Kiddish clubs. And such other type of behavior. Buying bottles and pump bottles and bottles and this scotch and that scotch. It's all So, it's a it's an overall problem. But I want to focus for a moment on the bochurim. On the Chabad students in the yeshivas. Bochurim. I was a bochur, too. I was a student, too. A chassidic student. I lived with the Rebbe. I lived with the chassidim. I grew up in this culture. And I'm telling you that we did not have this all-out approach to drinking. We said plenty of l'chaim. But it was in a context. And that's what I want you to consider. You want to say l'chaim, the context should be the primary mode. The context is holiness and connectedness to Hashem, to Torah, to chassidus, to other yidden, to other chassidim. And [clears throat] if you need a little l'chaim to motivate you, it's there for that assistance. What I What I What's missing What I see is missing is the context. There's no normal farbrengen on a Shabbos in almost every Chabad shul. It's beautiful. Yes, in the beginning there's hot people and in some shuls many people it's not the you know, the time for a farbrengen. But later those bochurim that want to farbreng, that want to sit down with the with the rav with the mashpia with the with the you you know, with them whatever. You sing chassidishe niggunim. How many niggunim do you sing? Do you Were you just drinking and then talking and then schmoozing and then becoming wild and silly? How do you know if you're a vessel for a little mashke, a little alcohol? It's in the after hours. Meaning, do you Do you go more into yourself and focus on yourself and look at yourself in that state? Or do you just point the finger at others and you become vulgar and kooky and disgusting? Fighting, throwing, vomiting. It's like Again, I tell you I sat with Rabbi Yoel Kahn years at farbrengens. I never saw any wild type of behavior. And trust me, he would farbreng for hours and he would say l'chaim. Rabbi Meilich Tsukernik, another mashpia of mine in Morristown, would farbreng so beautifully. And then in the end after saying l'chaim, he would make would dance together in a circle and then he would make a somersault and then he went home. Once at a farbrengen I remember sitting and we were singing in the previous Rebbe's niggun, the beineinu, and he I was sitting next to him and he started to like pound me on my arm. You know? And and he explained the niggun and and and the pounding on my arm saying to me, "So, the meaning of the niggun is why aren't you the way you know you should be?" And and he's basically saying to everyone and pounding on me saying, "Hey, are you the way you're supposed to be?" Do you understand? That's a different type of a of a l'chaim. This idea of just, you know, the bein the bein, the bein which we spoke a little bit about yesterday, right? The twilight drinking. Okay. Your mashpia is not there. So, you do it yourself. Who gives you permission? You do it yourself? That means you're on your own. So, what kind of chassidic chassidic boy are you? Chassidic student are you? You're not a chassidishe bochur. You're not a chassidic guy. You're just doing what you want. You have You have preekas oil. The opposite of kapolas oil. And at the end of the day, who's responsible? The leaders. It goes back to the leaders. The administrators, the yeshivas, the mashpi'im, the rabbis. At the end of the day, if if if if three four boys went to a movie, you would say, "I'm warning you. Do it again a second time, you're out of yeshiva. In this yeshiva we don't go to movies, right?" In a Lubavitcher yeshiva, we don't go to movies. Why if three four guys get together on their own in their apartment and they drink bein hashmashos, why don't you GIVE THEM THE SAME WARNING? YOU DO it again, you're out. The answer is because you don't equate drinking bein hashmashos to going to a movie. Well, that's erroneous. In fact, the drinking is worse than going to the movies. Without going into the why, and it's not not the place for it now. So, in other words, it's the responsibility of the of the leader. And and and and and therefore, as much as I'm addressing the bochurim, THOSE WHO ARE REAL CHASSIDIC, I mean, THEY'RE REAL CHASSIDIC. They drink in bronfen. They drink in mashke. Ooh. We're like in in Nevel and Samarkand. IN KREMENCHUK. OOH, BIG CHASSIDIM. RIGHT? At the ohel many times Shabbos after dovening, people are are smashed drunk. You're You're coming Shabbos to the Rebbe at the ohel. You're in such a holy place. Is this the idea of getting smashed and kooky? Why don't you sing for an hour AND A HALF AND POUR YOUR HEART OUT? SING CHASSIDISHE niggunim and and realize where you are, how far you are from Hashem, and what what can be done, and and and So, who's responsible? The adults who are all over and they contribute to this. We're not living any longer in Russia. Nevel is gone. Kremenchuk is gone. Rostov is gone. We're living in in in in in in America or in Canada or in Australia. And we're chassidim. And we need to need to focus on the pnimiyus. Learning chassidus. How many people here have heard OF IT IN CHASSIDUS? HAVE EXERTED EFFORT AND understanding of Torah and learning more because of acres in quality and quantity. INSTEAD OF FOCUSING ON HOW MANY DRINKS YOU HAVE. AND WHAT KIND OF MASHKE and what kind of SCOTCH AND WHAT YOU KNOW, IT'S THIS, IT'S THAT, IT'S THIS KIND, THE BEST, THIS IS DISGUSTING, this is good. So, this isn't about being negative. This is about being positive. Let Let's Let's Let's stop and think where are we? Where are we as Jews? Where are we as chassidim? Where Where are we in our relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu? With the Rebbe? With chassidim? Where are we? And I And And again, my call is to the leaders. It is your responsibility AND YOU ARE GUILTY. YOU ARE GUILTY. NOT THE BOCHURIM. THE BOCHURIM DON'T KNOW ANY BETTER. THE BOCHURIM are are just teenagers, older, younger, wanting to have a good time. So, it is up to you, the leader, the mashpia. And then there are certain mashpi'im who believe in drinking. Well, that's a bad mistake, and an administrator needs TO CALL THEM OUT ON IT. A menahel. Not sit BY YOU AND EVERYTHING'S GOING FINE. I GOT HUNDREDS OF STUDENTS IN MY YESHIVA. I'M the king. What kind of king are you if your subjects are into these wrong behaviors, which ultimately isn't good. I alluded to it yesterday, and I don't want to say much cuz it's not the right place and the right time, and it's not necessary. But this damages people for life with relationships, families, children, and grandchildren. It is very, very unhealthy. I'm not calling for a ban on mashke. I'm not saying that you shouldn't say a little chaim. I'm not talking about that. But be normal. Be normal. Be normal. And if you have a chassidishe farbrengen, and you really having chassidishe farbrengen, believe me, the mashke will go in the right way and will come out the right way, and and will only believe the good things. May Hashem help us that we we we get inspired to learn Torah and to especially learn chassidus, to have a v'ein chassidus, and then to daven with with this like kavana and apnimius, and to have that beauty together, and to stop being judgmental. HE DRINKS, HE DOESN'T DRINK, HE'S A FAKER, he's a chitzon, he's a pnimi. Stop already. Stop. Stop. So, I know that uh there'll be lots of uh interesting comments to what I'm saying, and I'm not backing away from it. I'm very happy that it's being said, and I'd like more people to come out and speak this way. People call me yesterday, "Well, we we we can't we unbelievable chaim daven. Unbelievable, you stand up and you're not fearful, and you say it." And then they they say, "Don't mention my name. Don't mention my name." What don't mention my name? You should be doing this. If you really believe in it, you should be You see You see there's a problem. Stand up and be counted. Enough with this backtracking and and backing away. Okay. Enough said. Zayt gezunt. So, this tightness, and let's hope that this will have a positive impact to bring Mashiach and stop this drinking culture, the kiddush clubs, the bains, and and the every other type of uh abuse of alcohol. L'chaim.