Bedroom Advice from Reb Avraham Mayore, Chasidic Living- Tanya Igeres haTeshuva 4a- RC Dalfin

we're learning Chua page 186 chapter 4 P this pic is a continuation of the last chapter but with much more elaboration and insight and particularly with the AL introduces the idea brought in the zes and the holy Z that chuva is you know when you ask someone who only learns gor or he tells TR means repentance returning to God and all of that regretting the knows all that and the Z says that's all true but the word itself indicates what takes place when you return to Hashem when you do chuva and the Z says you take the word t and you you break it up into two two words words T return the first four letters is T to bring back to return hey the Hebrew letter hey the fifth letter where do you bring where do you bring it back to like so the Z says that God's name the holy name of God the ineffable name of God which is the name of yut which equals 26 which sometimes you'll see it addressed say the tetr Graton and for us that's like uh French and Spanish you know what does that mean but that's the Greek word for the in my early studying of of in English these words were like uh like they were so they came out of space you know my first language is Yiddish and even knowing English and and going to school you know this Old English you know the old English the Thou King Jame King James English and all that was like we looked at very weird and strange and when you start learning kasus and you see some of these words used for ideas in or in for examplein you know the equivalent of fness filteries go out on the street today and ask anyone in in in in B Park in Williamsburg and I even say flat what fatores are they don't know what you're talking about filteries the tetr griton it's the you theut the most holy name of God that has four letters the yud the V the he I'm sorry the Y the he the V and the he so when the Z says to take the hayy and return it reunite it reconnect it we're talking about the last hay there are two Hayes in the T in in hashem's Most Holy Name the first yud K yud and then there's V so the Z says that we need to bring back the second hay to the because through our transgressions it was separated so this is going to be discussed in the chapter and this is going and this is going to open up for us an entire field of discussion which is going to spend a lot of time in the next UPC coming up chapters about what he calls two different modes of chuva chuva superal chuva higher chuva and chuva Tata and lower chuva and all this is going to come together as we go through the chapters so this is just a brief introduction to the next chapter now let's learn inside P chapter [Music] four however all of the above that there are three aspects to chuva one becoming a BAL chuba by saying I won't repeat the sin that's one of that's Bal cha 101 number two is kapora is atonement and rinsing away the stain that was called caused by the sin and number three to become favorable in the eyes of God like a carbon and we spoke about fasting and all of that those are the three things that we discussed until now says the AL all of the above who who is to complete atonement and rinsing away cleansing away the stain on the soul for God which is in other words I should take that back when he says call he doesn't mean number one it means the second and third ideas of chuva which is what we call kapara we identify as the second aspect of Chua and mea favorable we identify as the third aspect of chuva so he says those two come after Chua which is the first thing which is I'm not going to commit a s anymore I I'm about to as we we mentioned earlier in the name of the the first tra chapter of tra and we mentioned that the a sacrifice called a carbon it is a gift it's a gift that was brought to hasem after you're you're cleansing away the the stain and making a firm resolution not to do it again after that you say listen I thank you so much for forgiving me and I've worked on cleaning up my Act of the past but I really want you to look at me now not with a with a with with with a NE negative eye in the sense that oh once you were a sinner I want you to look at me as I'm favorable it's like you never saw me before I'm right out of I'm out of the box for that you need to give a gift you'd be surprised what a gift could do or even the thought of giving a gift I had an insurance man come here the the other day to look at the house and we prepared the house and we were told that he's probably going to find this issue and that issue and get ready for not getting the insurance until you fix all that and and pay through the roof and all of that so what did K doin do he learned from what Al says in the name of the gar before the man walked through my door here I said Hi how are you good to see you actually when he was walking across the street he was walking towards me I went out to my porch to greet him and I smiled and said Hi how are you and he said fine and he's coming closer and as he comes up the steps I say listen I'd love to give you a gift I have a lot of Frozen well vacu vacuum packed cold cuts can I give them to you now usually when you give a gift you give a bottle scotch or you give money and I offered him cold cuts he wasn't offended cuz we were smiling and I greeted him and he said oh that's so nice of you but you know I have and he was you upstanding man gentleman thank you very much he went inside and he it took him two or three minutes he took a few pictures he went out and yesterday I got the answer all approved now do I know did I ask do I know why better don't ask questions right just accept the the the the the gift you were given but the idea is that you know giving a gift to someone or wanting to give it goes along long wrong way you know and I know that maybe you could cons some will consider it oh this is bribery it's not bribery you're allowed to give a person gift okay and we know that the gor says one should someone who who despises gifts will live will live longer there's that's also true and the rebon never took a gift or he he tried not to I should say I should say he tried not to whenever someone brought the re a book he said for for a book you have to pay and he would give him a few dollars or you know and and and and people you know wanted to give the Reb a silver manur a silver the you know be and different things and the Reb usually did not accept it you know so there is that concept too I'm not you know but all I'm saying is because Al says here you've done you've done chuva you've done Kap and then he says there's the third thing which we spoke a lot about in yesterday's year the concept of your fasting which is in Le of giving a gift it's like you're looking to become favorable in hashem's eyes not just acceptable okay I'll use better words Alan dtz once wrote the book the surviving Jewish American or American Jew I forget the title and when when I saw the book I said I would write I would give I would give it a different title if I could justify it the thriving Jewish American if you're a Jewish American properly you should be thriving not just surviving yes hillo I just wanted to comment that the the idea of zon evokes the you know the famous kazal describing jakob's preparation for meeting with Asa yes that that that that that's exactly what's the uh source of it correct correct okay um now let's continue on the fourth line of chapter 4 on page 186 and get us a Chua however what's the beginning the first thing and what's the the main thing of Chu is it's the truthfully return to God and with a complete hearta two things one is that your Chua should be EMS true not fake and number two Bel with a complete heart a sincere heart and every one of us knows what that is okay so the this is necessary for chuva to be true I'm sorry for chuva to be the ultimate of trua or as the AL used the words the main idea isem and and he says says to accomplish this Mas for it to be EMS and with a complete heart we are forced means it is absolutely NE necessary it's not that we have an option you sir we have to hative and to explain and not just to explain but to explain well with an elaborate explanation this is a a lot of adjectives the AL uses here but they're necessary to get through our thick skull that to understand something well and to live with it and to be motivated by it to feel it in your heart you have to explain it well and this is written during the alus time two 20 250 years ago where Jews were more spiritual supposedly right yet says spiritual here spiritual there in order to to really be about to shua you have to explain things and this is coming up to the Reb yard site which is on giml next week this is very appropriate the Reb and his father-in-law spent so much time and encouraged the elaboration and explanation of and to the for the Jewish people in all languages in all languages and not to and not to rely on oh he's a Yeshiva boy he's she's a a girl that studied in a a girl Seminary no no no if you want someone to be Ms true the you need Le you have to explain the issue well and means the elaboration of the explanation and this we see is is done more and more today so when people give you a hard time for using an art scroll gamar tell them this line of the AL today the art scroll gar both in Hebrew and English or other languages is a blessing should Yesa boy 18 years old in slot or kabad or or wherever in in hez yiva not use a regular G to try to figure out the meaning without the cheat notes the art SCH gamor mark would be like the cheat notes you know remember the regions I don't know if you guys had the regions of New Jersey but we had in New York right um what was that the red book that we always prepar the regions with Yoni you remember what was it called that regions book Barons Barons regions bar bar Barons Barons every year when I took the regions I you know the I prepared with that you know and you were allowed to the Arts called gamur compared to a nonar gamor would be like have them like a Baron's like you know Baron's region and much more of course yes is Sir on the other hand when I was learning with the Bas medish bucker in Edison I was told if you have somebody who's always using a sha terms tell him explain that to me explain that to me in English and if he can't it means he doesn't understand it and I agree I agree with that that's 100% true they talk yeshivish but if you ask them to explain the concept in English they can't right right and and the same is with any piece of any piece of Torah if you cannot explain something to it to someone who's not you know familiar with that language and those Concepts that means you don't understand it well right anyway I'm just I'm just pointing out to you how here a line and Tanya which has nothing to do with art scroll and nothing to right but you you you see an approach and this is important as when we learned Tanya sometimes we wonder you know I can read this myself you can but you won't get this you got to look for the ino endos in between the lines and focus on the in what seems to be insignificant not important like this line big deal but the is giving us a message here explain it elaborately okay let's go on so so he he he he pre he preached and now he lives his preaching he says let me introduce to you first what's written the holy in explaining the word to Al based on the esoteric meaning of chuva so clearly clearly says what I'm going to teach you now is not found in the talut or it's not revealed in the talud and it's not the talmudic approach it is the esoteric approach the cabalistic approach as as as shared in so if you look look into the Z the holy Z you see it in cabalistic words the AL being a student of the B and the like the other have have their style of incorporating and interpreting and explaining zoharic words and Concepts so what does he say it is to and he says look there's a period after the word so and he says say it's t period he makes it very clear it's very defined the Z says trua is T hey bring back return the hay that was removed departed bring it back to the UT and he explains he re bring back the lower hay the last hay of theut of God's name that would be the concept of CH lower Chua we don't know yet what that is we'll get to that soon he oh now he says about he's talking about another hay the higher hay that's the first hay right y hey V hey so he says that the last hay refers to chva the lower hay the second hay of the four letters of God's holy name is the higher hay and that has to also be brought back and he says now the so that's one introduction that we have to look at and explain at length we also need to explain what's written in several places in trua doesn't help to someone who masturbates and Spills seed waste seed ask and this is a question that asked me the other day on on regarding General Tu but not just not regarding this particular transgression this is a very very strange is perspective we have we have a rule it's in the Jerusalem to it didn't come from Cinderella and from uh you know uh the ferelli or any other movie this came from the talet ji Jerusalem talet and what is that that there's nothing in the way of CH but you wants to do chuva you can always do CH even if someone desecrated and worshiped Idols Vil or had incest like relationships which are forbidden or murdered refers to Etc the third one murder chuva will even forgive those sins by the way it doesn't mean you won't have a punishment you still will will be punished but chuva forgives the sin so one second stop we have a contradiction one place it says chuva doesn't help for the sin of pis and the other kazal the other saying of the sages is there's nothing in the way of CH how do you reconcile it to comes along Gord saw that you ask the question and he gives an answer and brings it here that the meaning of the is true is CH oh the means if you only do the lower type of chuva the hat that is not strong enough to forgive the sin of masturbation rather you must also do the higher level of chuba and that will forgive the sin of masturbation that's the explanation given by the racious so the so the thing is so basically what we learned yesterday is the more serious thing would be the actual fasting and the less serious would be giving tadaka so according to him he's saying you you can't do the tadaka in this case wait wait I I I I hear your question and and I understand it but let us go through the chapter and then come back okay Yi yes Hilo yeah can you just um remind me and expand on who the Rous K was I know the name elah or something and something and I think he was can you say a little more about him in fact the the was amongst the uh m SL ethic e ethic muser muser like but early muser not mus from before the movement before the movement before talk about in the late in the 1700s here we're going back much earlier so the is is a is a safer growing up in Yeshiva what we heard about the was that it's fire and brimstone and you know he lays it out he he he says exactly what needs to be done and what happens if you don't do and he gives you the full plate and it's it's tough stuff now also has a very important section which I learned in preparing myself for marriage when I became when I was a I was engaged knowing I'm getting married the Reba WR wrote to many manyan and others that it's important to read to learn Rous certain section and there he talks about marriage uh preparation for marriage the intimate act how to go about it in a spiritual way so raous kma inad was kind of uh looked at and studied just that section because kab didn't um as a study study mus individual studied mus but as a li the we study all of us we choose as a regular study versus mus not that you shouldn't study muser either but the emphasis is but added a very important element both for those who are into mus muser is moral ethical teachings which includes scolding and you know knowing exactly what sin will get which punishment you know it's it's uh like you go to the court for you know a parking ticket a speeding ticket a left turn ticket tells you the amounts and tells you this and tells you that you know it's a whole list of um of things so racis became in a way famous for that again he wasn't the only one Ru y who was during the time of the rambam you know also has that but uh became a little more popular I don't know why we have to you know maybe because they burnt I I I don't know ra I think burnt the rambam's uh [Music] saim they say so maybe he lost popularity later I I don't know that has to be studied looked at but racious kma seemed to be accepted by everyone as the authority on muser early muser and that's how he got his prominence that's what I would answer you but and I and I'm also and I'm Hill I'm just also adding that even particular during the time during the preparation we were encouraged to learn RCI because you know there's a time for everything and you know when you're getting married you you need to know the score this is the time you know reminds me I went over to a who was born 1900 this is 1984 I was getting married you know this venerable kid he was 84 years old at the time he learned in laich the rashab Yesa he saw rabor La liit he saw the rugged shover he saw big big giants of Torah and he himself was someone who was a smart man a knowledgeable man and he gave his life for yish kite in the underground in the 20s and 30s in Russia it wasn't just talk anyway his name was I've mentioned him many times one another Mas of mine that I that I you know spoke to and took direction from so I met him in 770 here I am getting married soon so I said R could you share with me how what is the kabad approach what should be to marriage you know I never didn't have any girlfriend till then this was a Whole New World I'm marrying a woman and you know like okay so he said to me I'll tell you one thing and then the rest you come back to me after you're married and I'll tell you more so he was very careful what to tell me and what not to tell me and why do I say that because there's a time when you have to say now is the time so I'll tell you what he told me it's no no it's no uh big secret but it's why he told it to me at that time right before you get married you try to set up an apartment or you try right you you have to live somewhere not just yourself you have a a spouse okay so you need to buy beds you need to have a bed to sleep in so he said theab tradition is he said this in the name of the Al said that the AL taught them this goes back in our tradition to the AL our author here that a husband and wife generally should sleep in two separate beds that's what he told me he didn't he didn't add he didn't subtract he said so you're going to get married you should know those who's saying make sure you buy two beds so you both can sleep in separate beds he didn't say when how it didn't go into it so I'm not going to elaborate now I have what to say by the way but not now we we'll do that when we're not online okay when I next sometime when I'm on Bish if it interests you I will spill the beans for you but anyway the point is there's a time to talk so the re suggested to kabad Grooms you know now is the time to learn raous I know that we aren't into mus but you're getting married and you have to know what it means to be holy in the bedroom and gives details about being holy in the bedroom so now is the time for you to learn it so I'm just saying that here opens up for us this whole idea of doing chuva right so he says that the fact that you see a statement in the talmud or elsewhere that for this particular transgression wasting seen there's no repentance can't be but that's what it says and then we see a sentence that says you can you can always repent you can always return to God I don't like the word repent sounds very Christian you could always return to God you can always return to your real self how do you reconcile it to so he quotes the andma picked up on the question and he says it depends what aspect of chuva you're doing if it's what we call lower chuva chuva that's not adequate if it's the higher Chua that's adequate what that is we didn't learn yet we're going to learn in the future classes we'll stop here and we'll continue tomorrow what's the what's the name of that saer of the RCI what's it called that it's it's called no it's called racist HMA his name his name his name is what what you say is sir I said that's the name of the safer that's the name of the safer but he he was rebelo Vash right V yes so Yi the name of the author is eliahu I think Vash you're looking up online the name of his his famous safer is called R okay have a great day we'll see every one tomorrow take care byebye take care well everybody thank you