Are you your true you? Torah on Mental Health #3 - Based on Tanya chapter 2- Rabbi Chaim Dalfin

welcome to the third class of the series Torah and mental health as I've said in the past classes the book safer that I'm using as a guide for these classes is primarily the saer T kadisha the holy book of the Tanya authored byman of leadi the first kabad luich rebba I must tell you that the AL was known as the old rebbi the AL created a system that is most helpful for mental health many people when they learn the Tanya they don't see it but it's there and therefore I wrote the book called Tanya mental health which I encourage you to get a hold of and to read it's not Couch Potato reading it's thoughtful reading but I set it up in a userfriendly way with short chapters one to two pages lessons and a synopsis of the chapter and how it applies to mental health so it's it's the month of the month that precedes rashash you Kipper and the holidays so Divine Providence is that today we study and we look at chapter two in the Tanya the primary message of chapter 2 that chapter two is known for is called the opening words of the chapter the second soul that finds Itself by a Jew is an actual part of God it's called a second Soul because we know that from birth to Bar Mitzvah and Bas mitzvah for a girl 12 and a boy 13 the soul that animates the body is the living Soul the animating Soul or in the terminology of the balatan chapter one the neish meaning the soul that just gives a person their life force their desire for life and everything that comes along with life which is good bad and ugly I.E the animal the animal in the sense of Cravings not mind over matter but matter over mind today in Chapter 2 what we're learning about is the additional soul that only the Jewish people were given by God which is called The Godly Soul the neish elois now right here I wanted to say that it doesn't mean that a non-jew a gentile doesn't have the ability to be Godly it does but it's through what we call the human rational soul the soul which would be the third type of Drive within man which is found by a Jew and a non-jew and to live that way is a healthy way of living so that the uniqueness of the Jew isn't just to be a good human being there are plenty of good human beings and really good human beings and God needs every human being to be a good human being and he says in his Torah as cified by my monies these refer to the seven universal laws and that if we which consist of don't murder and have a law and order through courts cruelty to animals forbidden and other such laws seven of them seven kind of biblical ones and then their offshoots and branches from those seven and believe me to live that way isn't easy as well but when you live that way and you live that way because God said so not because it makes sense then you're living a healthy human life what's the uniqueness of the Jewish Nish we call the Jewish Soul the the is Jewish what is Jew Jewish meaning it is the depository of God's Divinity as as it finds itself here on Earth in a human form so in essence the is a part of God and that's what the author means M he adds the words M what does Mish mean something that's Tang ible from the Hebrew word m tangibility it's not that the is somewhere else and we really who are we we are humans and inserted on on in in addition to being humans God inserts imposes a soul a Jewish Soul that's wrong when he says Mal M he's teaching us that this is the Jew it's just the opposite the humanity within a Jew is secondary to the Jew and if there's a contradiction between humanity and Judaism we follow Judaism because that's who we are we're not just good humans we are Jewish humans I holy humans I sh and this this idea has many ramifications s many implications but in our context in the context of mental health It Centers on the issue is of who are you who is the person who are we people that find themselves in an addictive state in an unhealthy addictive State at times s believe that's who they are and to revert back to the other state of normality and healthy living is virtually impossible and the reason is because the Paradigm of that individual and those individuals is I cannot do it because that's not who I am who am I the addiction the the addiction the behavior of the addiction becomes the Core Essence of the individual that's the way they think and this Torah andas says is wrong regardless of how far you've gone with unhealthy addictions that's not who you are now the first thing to do is to understand this the second thing is to find therapies and way ways methods to implement it so I want to share with you a thought that the same author rer zman writes in his discourse an which is in his book of essay of discourses called Torah in the book of Deuteronomy dor on page 32 L B it's like the heart of Torah where he discusses there the relationship between God and us and us and God during this month of el this month of was known as the stock taking month where we we've done so much through the year the high hold are coming Tish is coming rer coming it's now crunch time make an account where are you who are you what have you done what are you doing and here the Alba brings a beautiful Parable a marshall m in English the king in the field and today it's become common language in every Sho and in every school in every Yesa and every girl seminary in school everyone knows about the king of the field what's the what's the musle of the king of the field it originates over here in it is found with some differences in midash but the way it's written in in is unique and that is that the Mel the king says listen I know that I haven't been in your communities because I've been busy so once a year I'm going to come out I'm going to come out to the field and you guys can come out of your cities and meet me and greet me in the field and guess what you can ask me for your requests whatever your requests are ask me for them and I will smile at you and greet you warmly and then I will go back to my Palace and I will fulfill your requests so the people follow the king they they they hear such wonderful words they want to be around the king so he starts leaving the field and he walks towards his Palace when he gets to his Palace he goes through the doors and the door shut and they say we want to go to the king oh no no no no you only from here on only privileged people can come in with permission from the King King and we have to first see if you're privileged if you are if you have the status of being allowed to come into the king's Palace that's Ripper Ripper is the time when everyone's being judged it's the time when we have to When God says let me take a look at your um your record serious time it's crunch time El is a week day everyone you don't need you don't need to dress with a tie with in a fancy way with a nice dress fancy dress you can come the way you are you know why cuz the king comes into the field not dressed like a king he comes dressed like everyone else with his jogging pants his you know his his shorts whatever whatever he's wearing he wants everyone to feel at ease he doesn't want you to feel he's the king and how dare you you know he wants you to feel comfortable he wants to rub shoulders with you he wants to break bread with you well first Appearances first looks make a big difference right you want to you buy a house you look from the outside if the house looks crummy from the outside you won't even go in but if it's painted beautifully and the lawn is B beautifully and it has this great outside appearance wow it entices you to go in the king wants to entice the people to be willing to come to him cuz the problem is we don't want to come we want to stay in our lofts in our places of arrogance anger and everything else depression and even if we don't want to we feel trapped we feel stuck in a rut we can't get out so the king says the first thing I have to do is dress like a regular fellow and and if it's a hot day dress that way of course in a modest way and that's what's that's this the the the the moral of that is that's those are the days the days of el they're weekday they're not holidays besides sh is during El every every day is a weekday specifically it was made that way even though the king is in the field you would think of shouldn't be a weekday it should be a holiday no it's a weekday why because the energy as cabala says the Jewish mystical writing says the 13 attributes of mercy of a certain kind are are are are here on Earth during this month of el so it's a great time to help us do chuva help us return to regret for what we shouldn't have done and all that so the king says the king is in the FI feel dressed like he like like like everyone else he's waiting for you to come he just asks one thing please come out I can't slep you out of bed but you but you should know I'm waiting for you and I'm ready for you and whatever you want I'm going to help you with but you got to come out they tell the story of the ostrich beautiful bird very tall neck a wind comes and blows it to the water it's thirsty there's water right in front of it but it's too lazy to stretch its long neck down to the water to drink the water my dear friends this is the problem we have the water of Torah the water ofus the water of Healthy Living all around us rabbis and rebis and teachers and professional you know therap para therapists and social workers and psychologists and you know they're around you just have to take a taste you have to be willing to to go out no one can do it for you no one can slept you out even if they slept you out once twice or three time you go right back under under your covers into the bed how do you do that that's the question how do you do that what motivates them so the AL says here a fantastic insight and it came to me this year that's why I'm excited about it and sharing with you he says who comes to the field the men of the the city now wait a minute he calls them City people what do you mean the man of the city if they're so distant from God they're so distant from the King that they're not interested in coming out and the King has to spe spe coming to the king and the King has to make it a special trip to the field so that everyone should feel comfortable they should come out obviously they're not interested in that so why would you call them King men of the field people of the I'm sorry people of the city they should be called people of the uh of a of a Wilderness a midbar where there is no water it's dry land they're bereft of spirituality of healthy living but the balat in citing in writing the musle the the the parable calls the people who are so distant calls them people of the city and the rebba rebba has a great insight into this and he says you know why in truth they are people of the city every Jew is a city person every Jew is connected and therefore when a person messes up when a person falls into an addiction when a first person falls into anger when a person does silly things and the person asks starts thinking this is who I am says the AL imagine you're you you're found in a prison what's the difference in thinking between a prince who finds himself in prison to a to a commoner who finds himself in a prison you know what the difference is the commoner says I'm a commoners I'll never get out of here the prince says I'm a prince so me being in prison is not who I am it's something that's outside of me that's on put on me now for whatever reason but that's not who I am and if I revert back and live my mindset with my prince like lifestyle and connection I'll definitely get out of this place and the balat says this is what a Jew needs to think about you know who you are you're a the every one of you every one of us regardless of how far we fall sometimes we have a and being that we have a because we were given an a by God being born to a Jewish mother or having or being having a Jewish conversion a proper Orthodox conversion according to Jewish law we're given that Nama when you have that n sh this is who you are so now think about it I'm sitting in a prison the addictions all around me I can't I can't I can't move without them I feel stuck say to yourself you're a prince and a prince doesn't have these these addictions I mean everyone has some kind of addiction that they need to vacate but we're talking about these ugly demons the prince is not confronted with those issues the prince has other issues so we say to the the Jew that has a a you are a prince and you're not a commoner a commoner who sits in prison is stuck a commoner can't say to himself or herself I'm a prince you're not you're a commoner so a commoner if you're put into prison you're going to be there for a long time you might never come out you don't have the tools and ability to come out cuz that's not who you are in other words you are a person of prison sometimes you get lucky and You Escape right like these convicts who Escape they get lucky but by by nature and and and in in their Essence they really are commoners says the AL in this which is about so important to study and to think about we are not commoners we are princes because Hashem gave us like we studying in the this in this talk chapter 2 of a Jewish Soul this is who we are you can't take that away from us no addiction can take it away from you no depression could take it away from you no anger can take it away from you your parents can't take it away from you your community can't take away from you your Rabbi can't take no one can take it away from you people sometimes falsely think that because of my environment my community my parents because of all those things I'm not a prince I'm a commoner by the way this is one of the explanations in the talmudic um section this this person named ala Baya thear says was the greatest sinner there wasn't a sin there wasn't a woman he wasn't with okay this man was a heathen from Heathen land the greatest Sinner and he meets a rabbi and he's inspired and he says it's not the sun it's not the moon it's not the trees it's not the mountains it's my own stuff and he cries out with a a a shrieking scream of I want to be with God and He does chuva that's that's his chuva and he dies and the gor says thear gives testimony Al went into into aen to Paradise because he died with chuva in instantaneously now what what did he say before he died he said no one can help me do chuv until that moment you know what he used to blame his parents parents are represented by the mountains for example my parents were certain kind and therefore I was raised in such a home and therefore this is who I am so what do you blaming me Community is represented by the Sun the moon whatever people blame their Community I had good parents but we lived in such a terrible neighborhood we had such a I learned bad mistakes them friends I myself I'm a good but I was surrounded by bad friends I became bad I became no good so he realizes that his entire life he's been finding excuses for his issues and at that moment when he realized stop blaming your parents stop blaming your community stop blaming your friends stop blaming your rabbis look at yourself his soul left left him cuz that was truva he really got it he really got it that only I can make a difference and when he got it his purpose and Mission on life was completed that's what God wanted from him recognize that it's about you this is such a wonderful explanation such a wonderful important message that we need to know that all of the stuff and issues and believe me there's plenty of stuff and issues we all have stop blaming stop blaming others stop blaming your parents stop playing your community it's so much easier to blame he she here there now later yesterday right you turn around you're 50 60 70 80 years old where's my life well maybe if you would stop blaming others and blame yourself and I don't mean blame yourself to the point of guilt but take responsibility then you can start growing healthy and the fact is sometimes we do have parents that aren't you know the best and community and friends and and and situations I'm not saying that that's not real it's real but that's not the reason why you are the way you are you know why because who are you as a Jew you're good you're excellent you're the best you're a a your parents didn't make your Nish God made the Nish and I told you I would talk about that for a minute a few minutes in this class the soul that we have that our father and mother gave made us and God made our physical body and God inserted sh they only they only made the the Goof and even the body the gar says there's a third partner God what does that mean that without the soul without the Nish the the the physical reaction which is the and result which is the body is bodyless is is is nothing what is it yes it's holy and Je after 120 to be buried not cremated no we know that but we're talking now not not in that sense the soul is the E the primary aspect of a Jew the so therefore to say that my parents and my community and my rabbis and my friends and all of that you're not addressing who you are you're addressing outside stimuli and again it's important outside stimuli okay you if a child is in a class and it's too big and needs to be in a smaller class change the class change the school if need be if a if if a community gets you down move move but many times we think the grass is greener on the other side and you find out it isn't CU it's about you okay in the beginning people you know oh I made a move and I moved here and they're excited what happens three four five years later they're back to themselves why because they didn't change the inside so the in Chapter 2 in Tanya when he talks about the he says this is who you are and if you think about it and you live with that nothing can stop you you can go look at was with to die you can go from being The Sinner of the Sinners and become a boua overnight you can go from being poor to being rich but how how get out of yourself break loose realize who you are your potential and we've seen this people who didn't have the education didn't have the wealthy parents didn't have any of that and they become you know so wealthy of course it's God's blessing God blessed them but they themselves you know whether it's a Bill Gates or whoever they they talk about you know building computers in a in a garage or from Apple right I mean I'm just saying and the same is true with Torah RAB AKA didn't learn Torah for so many years and all of a sudden he becomes the rabi AKA of the Jewish people how could that be so what I'm getting at is we need to believe in ourselves but what part of ourselves our Nish not here not here not here Soul the is electric the Nish is on fire so by by by getting in tune with your Nish you become happy wherever you are and it doesn't mean to say that you have to do these grandio things like we spoke about last week don't think about you know what I didn't accomplished in my life that is very negative thinking and leads to depression and and and and worse okay if there could be anything worse think about how much more you could do from starting today I'm telling you every one of us that was the word I was looking for last week Miriam indispensable there is no such a thing as a person on earth that is dispensable otherwise God would not allow him to be on earth God doesn't make any mistakes and if he brings you on Earth you have a purpose you have a mission we are all indispensable but what am I doing I'm not a leader I'm not this I'm not that you can be if you want and who says you have to be the big knocker the big shot a lot of the big shots are full of air arrogance you don't want to be next to them get away from them but you the person in their own little world living a Jewish life a healthy life finding things that make your soul Thrive and your soul happy and you people look they want to be next to you it's contagious wow such a warm person just I'll end with I just heard about someone who we knew in in Berkeley California when we were in Marine County and then later when we moved to LA he just passed away this Friday he was one of the former hippies that was involved with Woodstock and he was one of the people who founded was one of the first communes in California and when I met him I saw his soul I saw his soul others didn't see his soul and they left him he was so sweet he was so gentle yeah he was a hippie at heart but for a hippie at heart who doesn't want to have restrictions and boxes to be able to put on F every day at a certain time and to keep shabas not turn on lights that man has done Chua more than all others that's 180 degree term from from from living a Woodstock lifestyle you know and everything else that the 60s brought to becoming an orthodox Jew a FR Jew an observant Jew which has what the world perceives as restrictions I can't do this I can't do this you have to do this now and all that because he got his soul was revealed so somehow he realized I'm a ye I'm not just another person a good person I'm just not I'm not just another good person I'm a soul I'm a yish soul a and when that kicked in everything else went you know everything else was secondary and I think that this is a a very very important uh message especially in the mental health area and the first thing we could do for ourselves and others is share with them this message explain it for bring about it talk about it you know what I mean laugh about it teach it just by teaching it I'm I'm just teaching you and sharing this with you I'm getting excited myself and I've leared this many times and I've taught it many times why because it's so true it it's it it's who we are and and how how lucky we are that God gave us a I'm so thankful I thank you God for returning my soul to me you didn't have to return who says I have to wake up in the morning you're doing me a kindness so if you're doing me a kindness let me recognize the kindness what is the kindness you gave me not the soul of an animal not not the soul of a good Gentile the soul of a Jew you gave me not their Gentiles are bad and not their animals are bad they're all good but they all have their place we were given a task as Jewish people to be the holy nation and you gave me that you give that to me every single morning when I wake up so therefore we have to take this and live with it any thoughts questions comments Elana Miriam anyone a lot to think about um a lot to think about we are really are Nish and we have to be responsible or accountable for ourselves I I understand and stop blaming other people and that actually gives us more power in a sense correct correct okay uh Elana would you like to say anything I guess she said goodbye anyway everyone should have a good a good week and uh we'll see everyone mem next week uh same time same place take care shalom byebye