Anniversary: It's purpose is to celebrate G-dly life - Rebbe's insights - Rabbi Chaim Dalfin

I want now for a moment to bring with you for the last few minutes of um because today is my 40th anniversary and um it it brings to mind just a talk few words about thank you thank you what a marriage is what the purpose of marriage is a purpose of anniversary and also it's a time when you reflect on you know what what why are you here why did Hashem send you on Earth so we got married in Melbourne Australia my wife's best childhood friend was in New York she was married to a good a good A friend of mine and they thought we'd be a a sh although you know some wondered C personality wise how it was a sh but it was a you know why cuz the re sanctioned the before the Reb gave his approval there was nothing to talk about that's the way it is for us and it's that way today too even though the Reb is physically not here but if you if you if you study his T and you identify with his thinking and and you it's real to you you'll have the same experience anyway so we get married there in Melbourne two weeks later I'm back in New York because the Rebels for bringing por actually a month later I got married today right you gimble and tonight is puram cuton so a month from now is purm and like a young fool I didn't stay longer in Australia to spend time with her grandfather who was a of the previous re and set upab in Melbourne and saw and there were other I spent a little time with them and I remember things they told me and I live with them there five older that were there some that still knew the rashab but you know my my my strong feelings to be at the faan convinced me to come back that's that's that's that's like the of you know in hindsight that in hindsight you know that would have been a chance to explore more about the life of these yeden in Russia and the they saw and the that they saw and the but anyway that's the way it is anyway so then the sent s to Marine County California and a reminded me of one of my former congregants um he just this morning he just says do you know so and so cuz he moved to LA and I've r d with him in the in a shoe so de de's work was something that was very rewarding but the right thing I didn't spend much time in coo most of my friends spent a year some even spent two years and you know and I enjoyed learning but I I really wanted to go out and do the for Hashem and for various reasons it's a long story with many details some of which I've shared in the past some for another time inem we ended up in Marin County and we were there for eight years and there's a lot of details to discuss those eight years here's what was done the obstacles that I had to face both from the outside and the inside and barem we established the kabad house of with a Mikvah men's mikah woman's Mikvah a Jewish bookstore a Yesa even on a level of Yesa not just a day school in those eight short years and then I transferred with the Reb's guidance this is before he had the rebba had his stroke I wrote him a letter of um my thoughts and plan and he answered me not just with I bless you but he actually gave me instructions of how I should make the temporary transition temporary and then the rabbi cunan was who was the in charge of California accepted my idea and uh after the six months to a year being an LA and doing also a lot of teaching over there and opening um I I I felt that I can do much more for people in La than California in in Marine County because in Marine County I was pretty much a a congregational Rabbi with a very small group and and uh a very limited audience because of the nature of the uh location and I was relegated to being a fundraiser as I as I was called in a uh in a newspaper a crackerjack fundraiser which means you know a very good fundraiser well that's very nice to be called that or maybe it's not so nice but regardless that's not what I saw my life as and many people can be fundraisers you didn't need me to be a fundraiser I felt that teaching to especially to people is where I'm needed and indeed in La I started a Tuesday night class um and we had 50 60 people adults on Pico Boulevard in Los Angeles for those that know a few blocks from M and all of a sudden kabad was bringing in lots of people who were learning and uh it was a very very special time and my family was growing then and growing but we had another child another child then we opened up a cafe called Cafe Schmo which was a hidden kabad house 6,000 people came through our doors in one year Bob Dylan son-in-law Peter himman performed and others and uh it was um written up in the LA Times I still would like to do that again but so far it hasn't happened but I haven't given up on on the idea so from there the Yeshiva brought me back here to New York to work for them and then I started my writing career and teaching and lecturing so you have a family you have a wife you get married how do you balance your own Ambitions your own desires your own talents and it's it's very important for a person to live their talents not to give up their dream in other words even if for some reason you temper you you have to do something that's really not your love you know what you're best at never give up what you're best at and always say I'll get back to it I'll give you an example I just finished today trus I took it for and I've been pretty much learning every day right I haven't learned gamar you know in a long time and and even this is not considered the same level of learning that I did when I was learning gamor in Yeshiva but I always said to myself the last 40 years one day as I get older I'm going to get back to gamorra and learning it deeper and deeper and deeper because when I was in Yeshiva that's the depth I learned gamar with when I was 17 16 17 18 19 so in other words a person should say right now I can't do this right now I'm busy I'm raising a family I have to put together money but those things that are important and that I'm really best at and really want to give the world this I will get back to it and if you really believe in it you will get back to it at some point with hashem's help you know if God forbid Hashem has another plan that's a different story we can't but with hashem's help any everything's with hashem's help you you have to you have to keep on keep living the dream I'm very serious and this is something so important today especially for our kids and grandkids not to accept mediocracy we need to strive for excellence it's not enough to be second best it's you need to be best understandably that shouldn't be the the goal in other words it's the process not and all of that we know that but at the same time Excellence so if if if you know to to yourself you're excellent in a certain thing find ways to share that with others and don't allow people from the inside and the outside but especially the inside to distract you because people have a tendency especially people from the inside to poooo what you're doing to to say come on we know we know the we know who you really are so you could you you know this argument you could fool others but you can't fool us have you heard that guys I'm sure you have right don't be fathomed criticism is criticism and if it's correct you know work with it but don't allow that to poooo you who what your Your Excellence and what you want to give to the world do it better etc etc and this is what an anniversary is about what a marriage is about what what a union is about what building a family is about is to you know to live and show yourself and all those around you that there is a purpose and a mission and an objective here this isn't just you know you do what you want you get up when you want you go to sleep when you want no you're a soldier you you we are soldiers in the army of Hashem and and and and you know when when Hashem grants you you know an anniversary especially you know 40-year anniversary and the like and some of what I'm saying that spoke about when at his 25th anniversary and his 50th Anniversary he made a heran this big laab this big sadik is speaking a little about his own and he explained it's not about his own thing you know it's sharing what we could learn from from his experiences for everyone's life and I'm doing the same thing and that um it's uh it's a time to to to reflect that uh there is rhyme and reason here things are exactly the way they need to be don't play if I were God it's it's the wrong way of thinking about things you know Hashem knows exactly what he's doing and how he wants it to be and we have to have the B the the modesty the humility to accept it to accept it and when we do when we accept it as it says here at the end of chapter 50 helps you the Living God helps you and you could look back and say you know I wanted to accomplish it and Hashem helped me and I accomplished it and I I wish everyone to to be able to say that cuz I am able barem to say that at this stage in my life many things not all but many things that I wanted to do I've done bar hasem and I believe has benefited many people and and and we'll continue so I'm I'm very very grateful and thankful to for giving me the G the health you know to be able to do that because without Health you can't do much like rendle saidel said what did R Mel say you lose your money you're still a mench because one day you have it one day you don't God forbid if you lose your health you're a half of a mench if you lose your Drive you're no mench at all you know the drive is even greater than the health but the health is very important you know so we have to watch our health I'm talking to myself and I'm sure you're talking to yourself and ask Hashem to be kind so that sometimes when we're not watching our health for whatever reason we ask Hashem please have mercy on me and make me healthy here and help me okay cuz I want to do what you want I'm your agent I'm your okay I'm not doing this cuz I need another dollar in my pocket or I need fame or I need honor anyone that thinks that way is a big fool and we're we're the first thing in laich is to knock out the fool don't be a fool that's what car's brother to told us Yi in Los Angeles on the on laa and East Third that time RAB na for the Russians he was the the r there and we we we bring there this was in 1981 or 82 and we heard that sh's brother came because his son-in-law and and daughter lived in La Rabin so here we knew that he was a of the previous re yet so he came and one of my friends was smoking cigarettes and I told you was making cir with the smoke and he got very upset and he said you're a you're a big fool it's bad enough you're smoking he making circles at of faan and then he said to us the first thing I learned when I came to laage from Lakewood was to get rid of your fool cuz that's that's the that's even worse than the worst AA than the worst transgression is being a fool you know there's certain things that you don't need to the doesn't have to tell you you're not allowed to do it you got to use your brains you got to use your common sense anyway I just wanted to fa a little bit with you uh and um everyone should uh should be blessed to to reach their 40th anniversary mem maybe some have already I don't know um and not to stop there the 50th the 60 the 70 the 80th hasem hasem wants to give life he gives life in a healthy way in a way in a way and we should all be learning together for many more years and really and really see mashia because only mashiach will bring a an end to this chaos and War and constant uh you know it's it's so so cucko U it's so difficult out there um especially with that we we need Masia this is the only Only Solution the ultimate solution so that's that's it thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you I can't hear you what with many many many many more years least all the all the we'll see everyone on Monday we'll start chapter 51 and have a great shab take care bye bye