Ani Ledodi #9 Likutei Torah - What to do if your heart is jaded and you feel no love or awe for G-d

uh if we finish it this week then next week we can maybe learn a minor preparation for rosh hashanah so the altered now is is dealing with an issue that's very important the issue is if a person uses we learned at the end of the last chapter on page there's a time when there's a positive that says a verse that says yaakov that redeems avraham avraham is kindness is khasit why does hesset need redemption because at times you use hesed and you can't motivate yourself to feel the issue of not feeling what we're learning and what we're doing is is a is a real problem for the greatest of of servants of hashem it's not just for someone who never had the experience who doesn't have a feeling towards it even those that had the experience to actually feel heart palpitations of love for god and all for hashem is a very lofty uh level and in fact in khabad someone who was quick to say that they have ava yira they were usually dismissed very quickly and they were shown very quickly by mashfiem and hasidim that they that they fool themselves because as i told you numerous times in the in the terminology of the richey name the early philosophers jewish philosophers this world and the world to come they don't go together in other words the the english cliche the best of both worlds from a jewish perspective it's not the case it's not jewish it's not now you might be wondering well why not why can't i have lavish material matter lavish material matter gosh mias and rukhnis isn't that the whole approach of the boshemtov and the answer is it is but that's not what the balchemt of meant the bashamtive meant that use all of gashmiya's four rookies transformed gas measures so of course the the musser approach pre-balchamptov was to sean gosmius the balshamp's approach was oz of tazzo when you see your enemies donkey with a great load rather than leaving him aside and just going on he might help him what does that mean to take the donkey and help the donkey become that the weight the the load should be lighter make it easier for the donkey in other words transform the donkey the donkey is no longer a donkey the donkey representing homer material this is the teaching of the balsham tooth so someone says look i want to um i want to ex i want to have taiva indulgence i want to i want to have that good piece of steak and really really uh enjoy it and so too with other bodily pleasures this is not belcento don't convince yourself it is it's not rare is it for the individual to be able to take a pleasure and transform it it's a very hard thing it's a very hard thing but the objective is to we try to transform it he took this idea and he said if this is the teaching of my teacher my teacher's teacher and this is the philosophy of hasidism this applies also to the mind to the moach that the moa which is such a valuable tool in development of man should not be excluded from the jewish experience from the holy experience but included and transformed and that is why the altarebe put an emphasis on that not only should your middays your emotions be involved in judaism in godliness in tata but your mind which normally is car called there's a famous hyundai that the mind is the coldest thing and it's so cold that it's it's a it's an inch away from heresy and we see and we know throughout history people who use their mind and they became heretics agnostics etc so the mind can easily go from uh being legitimate connected to god to being god forbid just the opposite so the alternative says so there was one school of thought or there were schools of thought that believed don't involve the mind and in fact a colleague of the altered colleague he was actually older and maybe even he was a a good friend of the altar ebba's rebbe mendel vittepsk and this is abramov kalisk and they both made aliyah in 1788 tetheria and they were very good friends and then in 1798 approximately decided to come out against the altar ebba's approach called he didn't feel that this approach is for the populous in other words he argued that the use of mind in understanding god will lead people astray and the altareba said contrary and in fact when obnoxious breslif in honest way back for merit israel i told you this before he he came to his this house but he he went in for a very short while and he and he went 400 miles further to meet with the altar ebba on the mission that he was given by the broncos was to convince the altar ever that he should stop teaching hasidis in a way of chabad lo and behold what happened is the altar ever and he showed him how not only is this important but no one has become a heretic from learning citizen away of chabad and that it's absolutely necessary and you know i don't know if this the following what i'm going to say is correct but it is possible that the altar ebba helped ramnachman develop his approach which is called blessed hasidis which if you look at blessed hasidis it's it's uh it's it's definitely not hagas in a way of just emotional there's a lot of also intellectual ideas that need to be understood different than chabad but definitely not the emotional approach and it seems to me that the altareba's impact on him was was tremendous again i'm saying partially because rab nachman started with hishita before but i believe it might have not been crystallized and finalized till after meeting with the olive altered and this is something that uh i don't know if anyone can prove you know we could argue it this way or that way based on dates and experiences and i've written about this extensively in my book on chabad and breslif i've tackled that issue there and sharing some of it with you going back to the text here so the altered epidiol chapter four of this mimer wants to wants to see how a person who has a jaded heart who doesn't feel he can't get himself to feel god to be emotional about god to shed a tear to laugh with a smile to really become happy when he hears the midst of of schaefer blowing for together with being serious and and and and you know realizing hey this is a court case this isn't a joke if i'm found guilty khas vashallah it's big problems you know and at the same time i just did a mitzvah i just did a mitzvah i heard the schaefer i'm the happiest person on the on earth i might not have much to eat and much to pay and much money and all that but i have a mitzvah a mitzvah is connecting me with the ain't self with god with abrasion with hashem what more do you need [Music] so so to feel this you need a heart so what if you your heart is jaded it's stuck you can't un it's it's clogged and yet it's the word is it's far stopped far stopped says and as the verse says there are times when yaakov of the yakov asher podes avrom beseeching god with mercy and saying hashem have mercy on me i want to feel you i want to experience you in my kiss oh hashem says if that's the case i'm going to open up your heart but where does that come from velvet that doesn't come from the mind it doesn't come from the heart it comes from rahmanis you know a friend of mine wanted to get his daughter into a bad seminary narcissist role and they were packed and they couldn't and they said they didn't have room and he argued this way in that way so he called the story of rabbi khan still continuing to say stories and and invert their sayings the teachings that he taught me so the story is so that he went it up yoild because this administrator of the seminary is a student develop yours they thought if he contacts that you are you'll call him and through protects you he'll get his daughter written says sure i'll i'll call i'll put a caller if i can help i'll help but he says tell me what argument do you have what position the the the the the director says there's no place what's your argument so he explained them that his older daughter went there and she was very successful and this girl is a very good girl and then he gave whatever the uh you know and up y'all discursed him he says uh that argument is not gonna win him over i know him and and i know it's not so my friend my friend uh looks at rabbi and rabbi says that give me give me a better argument give me a better reason that i convinced the direct that i can convince the director so he says my friend says let him simply have rachmanis on me [Music] this is a good argument what what what rationale is there and here's up y'all kind of genius of mind and it's oh now you hit the nail on its head we're learning about this right here is so powerful that when employed and used right because you feel that it's a real rahmanus on you that you're jaded and clogged and you don't feel and therefore all you could do now is you scream out shout out to god help me have mercy and you feel lost and your only answer is hashem that's that's because beseeching god's mercy that's going to work and abile called and it worked i don't know i don't know the their conversation but the point is how important rahmanis is comes along the altar eben now this coming up upcoming chapter and says moishe and what if doesn't either work listen to how he says it okay let's look at the alternate words let's continue page huff base 22 pedigree what if the person checked his deeds and yet he's not able to arouse mercy on himself seeing how far he is from hashem from god villa yes and his heart is not regretful remorseful although he deepens his mind into his situation he realizes how far has my godly spark fallen to exile between my soul is so in exile and nevertheless he's not able to evoke mercy feeling that mercy so what should he do says the altar episode this is what he should do he should make his heart attentive and knows all about moshe and says the alternate but let him at this time use the following muscle so if dalton says that this is what we need to do when we feel jaded and clogged and we've tried everything and we still feel like a stone and then we use rahmanis and it's still not going says the altar but use the following mushroom let's see what this mushroom is since it's nature of man that when his nail on his foot is in pain because it that he it damaged his nail he tripped over something he heard his the nail on his foot the evan threw a stone he tripped and hurt himself um where is the pain felt in the mind um it's tired and he has tsar yes this is true yaakov as long as the damaged nail is still connected to the foot before it's been amputated cut off but if god forbid we have to cut behavior amputate the brain doesn't feel any longer the pain because there's been a complete cut off and suscision between the limb and the brain so once you amputate the pain is not there you have other issues but not this issue that he's talking about this pain this is there is a there is a uh a certain condition that's called phantom limb pain that people who have amputations often suffer from where they will feel like the brain doesn't quite catch up with the new reality or they will feel pain even in when there's no longer a limb there okay but i i would assume that isn't that a a new pain in other words it's pain and it's pain from but i'm saying isn't the exact pain that they had when the when the nail was still hanging on and the foot was still con you know connected uh well i don't that that i don't know but uh i mean it is just it's a fascinating uh right it's a fascinating uh alternative that sometimes happens that i mean i i would imagine that under ordinary circumstance sort of adapts to the new reality and that's why we don't have pain when we've had an amputation but but that doesn't happen for everybody right well we have dr velva what do you say about this your experience in medicine that's very uncomfortable because people receive have pain and they feel their amputated black and they have they feel like they would even do something to the with the like so that's very uncomfortable that they can kill the same pain or similar the similar pain like before that before okay well okay yeah but that's the cold war that's what the cold blade right thank you now let's look at the nimsho the morrow we are avi by nature connected and with dubai and glued that we blemished and we descended our soul the golus nitsu kushi's butterhower our spark of god through our sins nevertheless even though the quality of this is a half of a quote it is ava although he sent israel who is jewish contrary to people's around this neighborhood that i live in in the in some neighborhoods near me that they call people who are not from which is the the greatest and and most ridiculous uh comment because aydah is a yi he's not a guy and and a is not a bad thing but you know but they mean he's not jewish he's not jewish he is jewish he's not observant anyway so the quote although they sinned israel nevertheless nevertheless that does not diminish the fact that when you sin you descend you lower your godly spark into schmutz into a place of filth the yes like penis needs to select it never leaves him elisha who because rather it's begolis in exile el shaddai a few chapters before that every year there's israel yet you'd sar kale taltarev says even a jew whose godly spark falls into exile is still a tsar he's a latent tsar he hasn't lost his tsar quality he's lost his sour behavior you can't compare a minister a king a deputy sitting in captivity to a plain person sitting in captivity both in captivity yaakov but one is a siren captivity and one is a hadith a simpleton maisha are you with me yeah thank you because the you the jew who is asar still recognizes via they and my loser he knows that the advantage the virtue of shall and look at although's language you won't find this anywhere except by the altar um and in one moment one notion one movement yoho underline that he can change instantly from one extreme to the other extreme locks of the cut to return to his previous state of being an open observant tsar so now the question is if that's the case then why doesn't he feel says the altered the fact that it doesn't feel the pain and the blemish caused by the transgression hyena it's because he became so accustomed to this blemish actually until he's become cut off completely from the source so this is like this is the muscle and the nymphs just like in the muscle as long as the nail is connected to the foot you can the brain feels the pain but if the foot is amputated there's no that that pain is not felt any longer says the altar as long as you're not disconnected completely cut off from your source you'll feel pain spiritual pain it'll bother you but if you've done it so many times you become jaded and you feel not that nothing it's like you lose feeling and this is so true it's true people who were religious from and and we're going through this now in our communities all over the world you know we have a different belchuva movement than the 60s and 70s and 80s today's belgium movement is of the frummies really i'm telling you percentage-wise i'm convinced there are more ex-rumi's doing chuva or needing truva than people who were totally not religious needing truva which there is tremendous assimilation we know that but unfortunately and i wrote about this in my book on baltimore's we're not we're not reaching them there's a there's a there's a great crisis in that area and no one really talks about it because now we're all more concerned about in reach about our own families and communities and what's going on to the kids and grandkids and and the guy a lake with the russia shiva's son and the the mashpeas kids you know everyone is dealing with their own situation it's kind of you know coming from uh that that era of the 60s and 70s and growing up in chabad seeing the the weekends with the college students and in morristown with the the balchu yeshiva with the the real thinkers and the arguments and is there god and how god and torah's you know i mean it was it was it was unbelievable that's what i grew up with and you know and looking now is who cares just give me a car and a nice girl and a lot of money and let me go on and have good chicken soup i'm happy no one cares about god anymore you know so what's the what what has become the kind of the occupation of the of the fruit of movements and and and and chabad movements of of reaching out dealing with with people so you you'll find yeshivas now without saying names that have really downsized their balchuva divisions and started like high school programs for froome kids who are not interested in yeshiva anymore and they're not making little of it belittling it we need that but it's a real shift in the in the whole belchuva movement and and the way it was it's it's a it's a very big shift now why am i saying this because the altered says here that as long as you're connected you're not totally cut off from the gamrey look at the word top of the first line and gimbal completely as long as you're still connected that the nail still connected to the leg then the brain feels something and there's hope but if kasper show him it's amputated it's amputated it's finished it's cut off comes along the altar and he says no even a jew who's gone so far who's disconnected himself completely from the source there's hope for him look what the altar never says let's continue um i'm sorry this paragraph is still about the previous thought um [Music] but this itself should awake within you greater mercy to reach out to god and say hashem i'm cut off i don't want to be cut off although he doesn't feel okay so remember we're talking about someone who doesn't have the heritage the feeling that it's such a pity state that he's in with an abundance of mercy you have mercy upon us penis meaning since we with our poor state of intellect do not comprehend the great mercy it is on our souls that have been been have been lost to sin this medicine and why is that why is there still hope because the attribute of mercy which is the attribute of yaakov like we explained earlier is mavriah melakotsa goes through from one end to the other end you know the gun the way they carried they had the two rods up in the lower the torah says there was the middle the middle rod which went miraculously around the entire michigan he was able to carry it right yaakov goes from aleph from the beginning the aleph through the mem to the it's one continuous cycle the altarep is arguing here that although you don't feel the mercy but as long as you're connected there's a chance the aim let's continue i want to fight what yes hillary i think chapter 12 and tanya very good what i just want you to know i remember that hashem i i'm i'm i'm very happy very good now about that says what i was saying towards the end earlier what if this doesn't get you to to move in other words so we have this motion we have three stages one is i know i don't feel in my heart but i know what what a sad situation that i'm so jaded so you ask god have mercy on me number two is number two is i don't feel that but i'm still connected and he's still connected god can have mercy on you number three is god forbid you're so disconnected completely so what do you do then says the altar yes and if this it doesn't get you to evoke the media of mercy so it's aliyud so this is the advice that i give you in exceed it says the verse in who pastures with the roses shashana oh peter's bizarre comes along desire cut there's the holy zoa and he says ma no is happen just as a rose [Applause] it changes from the color from the from from from the color to the color white through fire i guess this is the process of photosynthesis whatever there's the way that the flower changes from one color to the rose from one color to another color right if it'll be like red you know what i'm saying it'll be like very bad it it it will be washed out like white snow cashelic when used inappropriately and in a sinful way nikolai nerdham they're called the red if you say hey mama boys because they are thoughts of the evil inclination and it's in its ploys and deception so you stop it this will be transformed the government to the color white supremacist this is the level of the the purity the albino the you you'll be washed in a way that'll become white and pure are you they penises what's it gonna take fire changes the color says he says there's two types of fire there's heavenly fire and earthly fire myla [Applause] very very true not everyone merits that god causes a spiritual fire to permeate their lives changing their red sins to white deeds good deeds so what do you have to do ah mata there's also the the earthly fire who indians see goof in the tiny oh he's this is torture and fast done on one's body the maya trailboy to reduce your fat and your blood sutra which are associated to the side of the negative side known as clippers which means basically my friends the whole avoid the fasting or not or not sleeping comfortably and not eating much you know where you actually kind of torture your body this is in classical moosa very much discussed in the early muslim writings of and shot and and and racist a lot a lot of conversation there and we're talking about unheavy heavy avoider to to to wash away the the the problems now it's interesting that the bala tanya who is a student of the market a student of the of the balchemtrov would entertain this thought but my friends this is coming as a third attempt three strikes and you're out the first attempt out that ever says is to awake to awaken your your your jaded heart second and one is not to be completely cut off so god still can have mercy this is the third one if nothing helps you need the covet shot you need something sorry no no politics intended you need you need a drastic measure says god gives it to you from on high and i don't know what it means and i don't want to know what it means i think the implication is that if god forbid a person has a sarah that comes from one high it's it's a it's a way of cleansing you know that like the khazal say that someone who experiences such pain and and torture and torture pain in the process of dying is cleansed and he goes into shamayim healthy and he doesn't need cleansing anymore what there's there's a problem there's a modern theory that uh most illness uh is really uh byproduct of inflammation we could say a machine of age so anyway anyway this a shilla myla you know is is if i'm if i'm learning right shout out it says call them not every person marries to it what it's a merit to god for so i don't know maybe i'm not learning right shot but it could be that in in other words if you learn chapter 26 in tanya dalton says that that issues of cha and zainab problems with children health and paranosa severe issues are coming from the uk the higher higher two letters of god name god's name and and and and god's taking you into the apple's eye you know but we're not we don't want to we don't wish ourselves this and dalton every here uses the word caller not every person merits implying it's a merit to get that so i i have to look a little more to see if i if there's anything if i'm learning right the shot but what but what i want to emphasize is that then he says there's the ancilla mata so yes there is a time to fast and there is a time not to allow your body to to to to saturate itself in the pleasures and that is when you're so carried away and you're so magusha corporeal you know we've discussed this many times an addiction you're addicted to the point where talking anything it doesn't go in and even and even saying it's such a mercy you know i mean there was a kid here you know in the shul and and he haven't seen him i hope he's all right but he was never so addicted to drugs and you know and it was it was it tore the heart out a russia shiva's son he just couldn't stop you know it was very very painful so so there is a situation where when you're so sick spiritually sick that that for your neshama to get a cleansing to get back to to normalcy it needs to go from the tiniest yakov one sec i just want to finish the line for us and then when you will employ this extreme method god's light will be able to illuminate you so always said because we asked him we asked him this question how does the outfit ever in a mimeran elo following the sheet of the valshantov say this bring this teach it and i will always point out that this is a third approach when there's no alternative so in other words the norm of hasidis is the first two the exception is the extreme which is also used if there's nothing else that helps yaakov what did you want to say you mentioned the concept of let me tell you something i don't know about you i can just talk about myself i just know that i have a difficulty fasting i mean now it's associated with my health but even in the in my better health years you know i wasn't able to concentrate well and i could so i don't know i don't know but people who you know who who use fasting as a means of chuva god bless them you know maybe i'm just so corporeal that for me it's a it's it's a big black hole and this i i don't it's hard to see that the sigufem antinos that the altar you know uses which basically is classical mustard this is not a by the way this is classical muscle 101 and and okay there's no kiddish of the altar he's just inserting it in the mimer in in the context of his discussion but i i it's hard you know and frankly in the ghetto trouba of the altar river that where he says our generation he's talking about in his time 200 years ago 250 years ago he says is not uh equipped to use this as a method of truva because we're gonna fail and the rebel the rapper who fasted much our rabbit you should know did a lot of fasting and his father was critical of of his fast in letters that he pre wrote to him you'll see please what are you eating you know and and that ever was polite but the rapper was very serious and believe me the rapper was not sinning you know but for his level whatever i don't you know and rabbi salavaitchik the rev he attested to it it's online you can listen to it then available he said you're reading now my book raven rebbe i put it in there as well but the rev said to to to to some chabadnicks i want to tell you you you don't know your rabbit i know him from berlin and i'm telling you that he fasted every monday and thursday when we read the toyota the river fasted not because he didn't have the food and and and he said actually robert hutner said this i'm sorry rabbi hooked her so it's not in that book maybe i did put it in any rabbit hutner who also was in berlin for a short time met the rebbe they knew each other from berlin and he said you guys don't know you're happy i know him he was fasting every monday and thursday was that fasting fast i'm just curious fasting let's say half a day or fast in the whole like all day i imagine a half a day but i i wasn't there and and and no one you know i i don't i don't think anyone would really know half a day i mean like morning so just like the morning well fasting the morning first thing the morning is brought in in what's it called in the garage velvet you were saying something i just wanted to say that i thought the rubber was he was what i didn't hear anyone heard he was it was fascinating but i believe i believe rabbi hutner said i believe if they checked i think he said monday and thursday the point the let's let's not get caught up you know the nakuda is that that happened his own life faster yet yet when rabzalman garraria hussain here who passed away was fasting quite a bit that ever wrote him stop stop in other words in other words the general message this is the way i understand the general message for us for our generation is fasting is not the way to do your true form do your true for by giving a lot of tadaka one second hillary give a lot of tadaka have a lot of obvious israel you know you know we're just not equipped is there exception yes there are exceptions and if someone personally feels that color covert one thing i want to store and then i'll let you a friend of mine was in on business in eritrea's role um about 15 years ago uh and he's a very successful business person and very bright and he met with an executive of teva pharmaceutical you know that has a advertiser and they were having breakfast at one of the uh hotels the kosher hotels it was quite a shallow and they sit down and my friend you know starts eating and and and and and he says to to the representative who was a misrachi belonged to mizrahi and didn't wear black he bought us and they did yamaka and it was and he says he's not eating and he says to him you're not eating you're fasting like you know please i feel embarrassed i'm eating and you're my host that you're not eating and he says no i'm not eating today the altar ever says in tanya that you need to do a certain amount of fast and it's quite the shallow roshan is coming and i'm i'm fasting and this laboratory is blown away and there was no there was no like he didn't make any stick about it this this this hebrew it was just natural what's says in italian it's quite a shallow i'm i'm i want to do children i'm trusting please eat and i'm not eating anything neat you understand so a person who takes it seriously and and and he's equipped and he really is strong i mean that's that's that's a very it's valdic but overall the message was always from the altitudes time through the rabbit and i i i said i see i think i see i see it in my life i see it in the generation that being proactive through mitsubishi and alba's israel it's it's just the same quality of chuva but here in lakota the altered has to has to say this says it because we're talking about someone who is so jaded so clogged and he can't uh uh it can't loosen up so he needs excuse the expression a good kick in the pants the doctor ever says well if you need a good kick in the pants to move you this is a kick in the pants yes hello when i first read this line the thing i thought of was sort of the it was sort of the opposite i think you're reading shot right and that's what raviol says here as well like you're saying but what i first thought of was when the ultimate rabbit talks about uh having the experience in davening and it seems to that that that quality so i'm just curious whether you'd say that that when the altir rabbit emphasizes that is is that rashfa asia he's talking about is that uh is that like de la ela or de la tata or a mixture or what what do you think that is well that kalish bayes is all positive this age no no i understand that i understand that but and uh but uh but uh i i that's what it but i thought of that one could say uh uh about that local adam zilkel is that and certainly yeah yes yes so that's curiosity that could be said lo called them to have the rich bias uh that you know during davening absolutely absolutely but it's not the same so it's not the same no no no no no i know it's not the same but i but i also but i wonder now if you think of that like is that a is that a gift is that is that a uh is that something that you know we're able to generate uh from below through hashem sees how how you're you're trying your best he gifts you with something that's very special yes but then it's a gift finally in the end it's a gift that that the age itself is a gift yeah but but but it's a gift based on your avoider it's not it's not reward and punishment i did so much and i'm getting that no it doesn't work that way but if you did if you if you if you did nothing you're not getting that gift if you're if you're making yourself a vessel for godliness so hashem will say i want to help this fellow in this way because i see he really is trying his best have a great day everyone good discussion go ahead and we'll see everyone tomorrow zai gaza bye bye take care