Ani Ledodi #10 Likutei Torah - Teshuva requires Torah Study and Tzedaka Giving - Unresolved Issues

we're on page this is the final uh chapter in the maya manila de la crosse and we're learning it from the citizen of edis so to briefly recap in the last chapter what in the quote in the last vedic the altar ebba spoke about if a person is incapable of of making a bikush a request of god to have mercy on his soul to do trouba he's so jaded he's so clogged so the alternative says in that case either god gives him fire from above meaning in the sense of taurus that hazal say wash you out and put you in a very special place if god forbid this happens to a person where there's serious issues of health parnosa children bonacai and zaina so that's that's us the school smile milo and to understand that better you need to study chapter 26 and tanya that not everyone gets what we do need to do as average people when we can't evoke any type of emotion whatsoever is to create our own fire in the sense of see goofy vitanios fasting with kind of torturing our body making our body uncomfortable from the pleasures of the physical world so not to eat and not much and not to sleep much and all that to the word pains you with your hunger pains your sleep deprivation on and on uh in front of that is that the reason why the the lip box lose the hub um it's one of the reasons it's not the only reason but yes it's one of the reasons that since bahab comes after the young tavern and the um people tend to eat much and to you know get carried away a little bit so they wanted they want to uh fast so that we could kind of wash away our of course this attained if we didn't eat with small for the sake of god and etc etc that's one reason but going back i wanted to point out that in the footnote 36 on page of dalit he brings here what i told you yesterday i didn't realize that he he says here he quotes the writer 21 page 132 and another series of the rebbe where the rebels says that in today's generation even not the altar rebecca's generation i told you yesterday the alternative rights are ready and he get a sativa that one should fast for sins a half a day half days and the rest redeemed through charity there ever that ever notes and i quoted it yesterday that because we're even weaker today we should um avoid fasts at all costs and and redeem the fasts with seducka and that's why uh on a fast day you know it's uh special and the uh based on the alta rebels writing it's it's imperative to give to tzedakah the equivalent of what you would eat what it would cost you to eat during the day so if your meals norm normally yoni cost you ten dollars a day you should give ten dollars to dhaka if you have it on on a fast date and if someone eats more lavishly and it costs them twenty dollars you give 20 if someone eats more meagerly you should get five dollars so it all depends on what your level of eating and expenses for that food for the two three meals that you have you should give it to tzadaka on a fast date now we're on page cafe and the altered now will will teach us that although this fire either from above or below are necessary to wash away the redness i.e the sins that one picked up from transgressing side complementary to this there must be [Music] uh vessels of tsudaka and torah learning to capture the light of hashem that it stay within you now what does this mean my shirt you could fast and you can and and and you could bring or give sadaka all for the sake of atonement but that's all not making a vessel that's you know that's just removing a problem but if you want it to stick you need to make a vessel and this is an important point not only here but throughout khasidis and for our life in avoidance hashem if a person doesn't make a kaley you could do chuva from today till tomorrow and your true va is is good and accepted but it doesn't last you'll fall back into a trap why because removal of negativity is not equivalent to making a vessel for positivity i'll repeat that again removal of negativity is not equivalent to making a vessel a kaley for positivity making the kaley grounds the situation they're they're fine they're you create a a place and a boat in which the the energy the light the the the kedusha has a place to stay within you and if it stays within you then it stays within you wherever you are just by removing the problem through fasting and through this goofy it's very important and very necessary but it's only temporarily you know why because today i remove this problem and tomorrow i'm gonna have another problem new so without having a fixture a caylee you you will experience problems and when you experience problems you're unhappy and when you're unhappy it's hard to serve hashem so that's why dalterev and now in the next chapter talks about making akali let's look at the altareb's words one more thing i have to tell you the person who is involved in the avoider in the activity of anila divided and in what he wants to really attain the truther that gives him the clean slate to go into tishrei and he's searching moshe so the luscious eight banafra very strong language he has to insert solutions in the soul all right you see remember the other day we had the word the verb which was the advice of of all advices here he says even more so you have to put place insert a toys advice benefit you have to really really shove it in into your soul stick it in plug it in where it doesn't get this disattached so masha kosova says in the passage in the markets and in the streets avaksha i search as shahaba nafshi my love of my soul again written in the form of a love of the love story a love poem it says there's the lover you have to search for the lover in the in the markets and in the streets because you're so infatuated with the with the one who you love so go search it so now spiritually one second ah the verse continuous velvel until i find you'll find ash your lover the one who you love who your soul loves then it says in the verse ah steve i will grab on and i won't let loose i'll grab after her because i love her and i won't let loose actually vasey until i bring her back elbay see me to my mother's home and i'll say i want to marry you into the room of my parents that's of course all symbolic he's not married so what does he bring into the room for an intimate experience you got to get married first but it's the idea that the love is so strong that this is what you would like to do you want to accomplish this intimate intimacy that's the end of the verse says that's so uh you know esoteric and so symbolic and the altered breaks it down for us to to live with you gotta search for the issues in the marketplaces in the streets why be making aveda yoni you got to go to woodburn i don't mean you you got to go to youth woodburn when they used to play saturday night in the in the stores over there when i was a kid i remember my parents would take me out with pizza and i saw all the older guys hanging out the boys and girls and playing uh what's a cool pool and we'll leave it at that so if you goofed up over there a one-night stand or something else etc you got to go back there and the truth are there that's what it says you got to go to the place where you goofed up just doing chuva in the shoe and the marriage is real it's good but it's not the it's not the complete that's it so he says because right you want to find the lost part of your soul that was lost it it still exists but you don't know where it is so where did i get where did this i got to go back there and i got to pick it up gotta find it ah often even if you found it so you went back to woodburn and you found the elevator you found the lost spark in the lawyer hashem it won't last that shiva will not last unless bilty caleb you make vessels it's brought down a cabal available the removal of the light from a vessel is due to the fact i don't have a kali i don't have a proper vessel what is vessel let's let's talk about this in our language what's a vessel a vessel is an environment that makes sense that you have figured out and developed in which it will attain and hold your truva for the rest of your life because no longer are you a wood burn person no longer are you a grateful dead person no longer are you a bohemian but you're a you're a yid and you woke up from your slumber and you woke up and you saw that it's all nourished guys it's nonsense and you say i don't want this life anymore i want to do truth or you're today like we spoke about yesterday or the day before you're somewhat i was from and all of a sudden you're having a rifle they call it a rifle you know rifa yon is a weak moment i got a weak moment and i'm slipping down the hill so my pairs that are usually were out get cut off or under my yamaka i start growing hair and i start goofing up arifayon or if you're maybe in yeshiva and you have questions does god really exist does he really want this is torah really divine and you don't talk about it to anyone because you're embarrassed but meanwhile inside you're crumbling says the altered that in order to to to and you do choose them and it's coming you say i got to stop this this is this is not good for me about it says you must make a vessel if you're not vessels and we're going to sing to the two the two vessels if you don't make the vessels the energy the chuva doesn't have what to grab onto remember what he says the lover grabs on to his love and he doesn't let go and he brings her home to his parents home enters parents bedroom he wants her he doesn't let go that's why he's made now a kaylee he's brought her into a house he's brought her into a room we need to do the same thing with our children we need to make calend for the trooper to express itself in and what would that be today i think it would be one one of the things it would be is finding a place where you can express your passion within the confines of torah yes so someone has a passion for art uh you know like i've had experiences and we've spoken about it over the years with artists who were from but who had a desire to paint uh inappropriate pictures you take that same passion and you put it into making a beautiful picture of how the world will look when shia comes or how a tsunius woman looks in her face and may you show him you know what i'm saying you have to find a mis we say in hebrew a misget it an environment the confines in which you can express your true passion within total within holiness within sanctity and the same is true with children and grandchildren not to and today's youth not to um exclude their desires but to be inclusive in a fine holy way you know and that's why that's why at times it's the best thing for a young man or girl young man particularly to enter the army the man is wild and and undisciplined and and having a difficulty with their development it could quite well be that that army which you know isn't exactly holy holy holy will menstrual christ will make him into a mensch a a number one and therefore number two he'll actually become more from because he'll wake up and realize that just being you know a wild beast and just all over the place there's no mahalik there's no is no purpose and and and so you have so so the army would be for example in this scenario the kali there's such energy that the youth have and they and and they're just throwing particularly if they have a love for the country and they want to protect amnesty oil and they're not ready to sit in yeshiva and kaya will say i'm protecting through like they like those that sit in yeshiva and coyotes they are protecting the land through learning i'm not diminished belittling that that's there's place for that too but he doesn't have the patience he doesn't have the interest doesn't have the knowledge find a way where he can be expressive or she can be expressive of that the same is with us it comes now el ronello we're 15 14 days away from rosh hashanah and we're asking ourselves what happened this year what did i do that was good what did i do that was not so good where do i need improvement says the altered it's good that you're thinking about it and it's good that you're going to places excuse me you wouldn't visit before because it's too delicate and now you're jumping in and you want to confront the issue says the al-qaeda and make sure to make a vessel without vessels it's just another fleeting experience you see you can have leading experiences of truva and while they exist jaini they're beautiful and remorseful so you can sit and cry and you could then and laugh and and it's all very good but you gotta make a kaley what are the caleb let's see what the altar never says allah says says he says you have to make caleb number one you hear that the letters of the toyota reading letters of the title are vessels they're v i see is moisture and you you do icy ice those icy ice draw the passion and energy into a container making of that passion the best type of experience as expressed by the oysters and maybe one day or maybe you've done this you will do a piece of art based on this mimer the altered ever and this idea how the letters the oceans the olive the tough are kailin for the ur with you know with the concept of how people's passion can be experienced best through the oceans torah now what's the spiritual concept i brought my love home to my mother's home he says this refers to torah sheba the written torah and i put i brought her into my parents bedroom zoo taylor swift that's the oral torah right because the the the base emi i don't want to go into now any mother represents written torah kabbalistically and parents bedroom rep parents represent oro as it says for god your god h next page top of o who god is a consuming fire okay shame she after election and just like fire will not be settled without a wick a shroom or with any other matter that contains yanny the fire from going away and extinguished and being extinguished right so too he goes back to the verse i held on to her i grabbed on to her the loyal and i didn't let go i didn't let her be loose so in other words moshe what is what is keeping the fire of love for torah here the vessels that you make through the letters of the written torah and the oral torah they are vessels they slap you down and keep you grounded we don't get all populated with fantasies of of passion and energy that in the real world are total nonsense okay [Music] here is another interpretation of the word shoshanim if you read the word velvel instead of means who learn means those who pasture in the study of torah and in the study of in particular and that's why it's so important not just to learn gemara and madrid you need to learn because aloha grounds you aloha says this is yet acceptable this is not so all the halal gamoras and all the khasi this and all the music and all the philosophy in kabul it's all nice but are the oysters that ground you and that's why it's written heroic means who pastures guess what we give hashem spiritual food we are sustaining hashem when we learn [Music] to rest and be revealed by saying his butt of god's inner will when hashem sees yay that we make a vessel of oh hashem says i want to be there too i like that place so this my spirit our spirit in learning torah draws down the spirit of god yes who someone said something no okay they are and he gives the example take for example someone who eats me what does eating do you need connects your soul and your body right your body it doesn't have food it gets hungry it can starve to death so you need food to continue the connection between soul and body she is possible for the soul to extend itself broadly throughout the entire body so too caviar anthropomorphically speaking is some of your mind we feed hashem [Music] which it reveals to us the inner will of god thou art responded by god shining his panimius his essence on us this is the first kaylee right he says caleb what's the second kaylee look further um also another cayley that's needed to ground the person's truva giving to dhaka said stop stuck as an i hear this he throws in a line this is the external this is external external why maisha is sadaka giving external compared to learning through the icy subtitle which is peneus very simple when you learn something you understand it it's digested yay you understand it's like take eating food it's digested and becomes part of your flesh and blood giving sudaka is not is not plenious it's a very important act and to make the cayley no question about it in a certain sense it's even greater but it's called in this context at least the gritsonius the external compared to the premiums which is the learning of the toyota that's why it calls it exclusiveness and we need this kritsonius this act external act of giving charity giving sadaka with us to to receive a panemius of hashem the of the light going on the next page you gave us a living title so what do we see available we have two things toyota is one kelly i see satora and the second vessel is ava to do ava for free help be benevolent peter says the alternate explain this hashem the verse implies that in order to receive the light of god's continents you need two vessels [Music] it's the study of traitor the letters of tito it seems that it both written and oral and hesed also meaning the hasset that's a doc this is the formal end of the minor and we have here just to talk a little bit about the overall connection right because you're probably asking yourself what's the connection between what we learned in this chapter to anila david the verse that we began the mimer with so this is this is the synopsis of the mind anila divided during the month of ello we begin the process of coming close to hashem it we have the ability we have the strength and the awareness to do that because we hear that the king is coming to the field what's that in the nimshun the moral moshe that is the uh the the revelation of the 13 attributes of you'd give me this that shine specially and differently in evil than they do throughout the year in other words the king coming into the field you hear that the king coming to feet in the field is analogous to the shining of the 13 attributes once the 13 attributes are here once the king is in the field we say to ourselves let me go and greet him but we need to say to ourselves and by the way for that no one can do it for you for that you need to do yourself i i explained this in one of the earlier fury that the king being in the field gives you the ability and the and the knowledge that that you if you're gonna get up from your bed and your couch and your computer and your lifestyle during l and you'll go into the field you're going to make a sale you're going to make you're going to accomplish but at the end of the day if you don't do that no one's going to do it for you king schming feel billed it ain't happening there there's no abracadabras here judaism yiddish doesn't work that way it's it's it's it's a a total mistake you know we think sometimes just for a moment i get a broker from assadic i get a broker from whatever i go to iran i get a broke i go to i go to a it's all true but you know what it takes you to a believe in it and b to either go there or send a and send a letter there in other words it takes work it takes effort it doesn't happen just by i'm gonna you know like they say where you're dominating this morning at the coast cell which coast cell in my house get over it yes during corona when we couldn't dive now with a minion that was the greatest thing but in a normal situation don't give me that nars guy go to a shul and dive with a minion and hear amen and then zomingya and and and and and do what it says don't try to be smarter than the ko norov but but i can't i don't want to it's cold it's hot do it you're sick you're not feeling what's a different situation that the torah understands so what let's go back so the king is in the field there's an opportunity here now you have to in other words let's say we woke up today let's say now in the afternoon you're going to get a message from your wife from from what you're online you're going to get a message someone came to town and is giving out money big money are you gonna go a lot of people will go if you don't go and you expect him to come knocking on your door and hand you the money you're a big fool it's not happening he wants you in the field why he wants us to work a little bit to show we care that's what we call kabula soil kabbalah sale acceptance of god's yoke means put forth effort so someone and so now so now what if someone doesn't want to go to the field or even if he goes to the field he came to be a spectator well you know what a spectator sport is he doesn't believe that moscow the the russia is better than the germans in soccer and he goes to the to the soccer the cup whatever they call it you know and he's there as a spectator he's not there because he really believes his team is it is the best you can go and you'll come and you'll be untouched there were people who came to the river and came to them shimon they went in and they went out and they were the same person you know why because they did not allow themselves to deal with that part of their being that has an issue with tata that has an issue with mitzvos that has an issue with exotic and if you don't confront that your complacency will remain and if it remains it can cause you harm and damage and if not you your kids or your grandkids because this the the apple doesn't fall far for the tree and when a a parent has a spiritual issue with a sp with torah in any sense of the word etc there's a ripple effect there's always a ripple effect says the altar but that's why you have to go to the midbar not literally go to a desert but if you have a desert mindset a desert is a place where there's no vegetation and no growth and on the contrary scorpions and snakes find themselves there in other words a desert is symbolic of some some experience that's antithetical to god that's against god you have to find that issue and you have to go there meaning you have to identify with it and say i don't want this anymore i was wrong i made a big mistake and i will never repeat it and when you do that then you've not only cleansed your field mindset which is neutrality you've also cleansed your desert mentality which is negativity so we need to begin with field you know but don't forget the desert mindset too but the beginning should be feel neutral you know my neutral part my neutral experience i'm just sitting on the couch and chatting we learned about idle talk well i'm not i'm not speaking russian horror i'm not gossiping i'm not stealing i'm not being vulgar i'm just wasting time in the name of chilling out now if you need it for your sanity you know and and by the way great rash of shivers and rabbanim and sadiq would take a walk i reminded myself this morning he already passed away the school anna river on 54th near 13th avenue i don't know if you only were ever by him uh he was from romanian it was at sadiq and and i dab and i you know as you know i'll send you i have a letter from the school letter of the original the one that was in borrow parts yes right yeah that he would say he was my i'm not he was my not son dick he was a something he was in my breast i don't remember okay so that was very important so that that's one morning returning from shul on the way to the sheer here i noticed a gentleman with with a stick in with a i think a silver cane and i could see i didn't really know i went to him one time i brought someone to him so i noticed it was sam and he was walking with a gabba and on on 54th street between 13th and 14th avenue and it was 6 6 30 in the morning was very early and and he was getting you know fresh air and i rolled my window down and i said good morning to him and he looked at me and i said show malaysia from the car oh my god so there's a time for that when a walk is holy and that ever needs a walk through he needs he needs that health you know what i'm saying so that's all neutrality that's field desert is going to places where we really don't want to go to and we and we shouldn't go there but but if you need to correct an issue that's still in there and bothering you and not bothering you and that you it's unresolved unresolved unresolved we need to resolve it because if we don't resolve it unfortunately we could you know pass on with an unresolved issue and it's it's not great for the soul so try to resolve it you know just recently i heard about someone whose parents passed on a parent passed on and and and the son said publicly i think i thought it was very brave of him he said it publicly he says you know i i didn't have a great relationship with my parent and uh and now i can't ask him i can't talk them about it and that's very painful very painful so the same as talking to hashem our parent hashem it's rosh hashanah that's what that's what we mean maisha about dealing with the desert like issues okay between us and hashem kippur we have to ask muchilas from our friends from people roshan is about the relationship between god and us so find those areas of that are unresolved and and and deal with them in a truthful way and al qaeda says that he concludes the mimer and the way to make this truth a stick and be permanent that you never will return to to that situation is through making vessels one the vessel of the letters of tay the words of taylor the written torah and the oral torah you particularly very important by the way suggested to many people to learn and that's why i started with you guys in the kailua you only remembers you you you guys weren't there then but we learned kitchener and from the kitchen we took off and we went into you know nice uh contemporary halacha but i felt especially the rebels suggested it that let the vessel for learning the kitchen you which is great and then also the idea of giving sadaka giving to dukkha when you give part of yourself your money what you earned to another yi to another institution etc etc this is a great kaylee to uh to to ground a person in a good way uh we're going to continue tomorrow the next my mercy just keep you swarm at 7 is a mime of rosh hashanah and we will continue using this text okay kevin i gotta go have a great you have a question martial yes no no no no no saying goodbye but uh i just want to say one thing there was one thing that did you mentioned a couple days ago i think it was on thursday's share yeah i think it was the concept of um it was the concept of uh you said that the baal shem tov said it's very difficult to transform a taiva yes and i i have to say i i was fascinated by that because um that's it's it's something i think that i've thought about many many many many times over a very long time i don't ever remember let's say hearing it quite in that language of transforming the time i'm just bringing that up because we're leaving this mimer but i'm just wondering if if that's something that maybe could be discussed briefly i don't know tomorrow i i i guess what i'm trying to say is i want to know did we did we cover that did the mimer cover that not really no the mimer did not tell us give us how do we transform a diver did not no that that's not that's not the part of this minor but uh maybe in the course of the next few days i'll share some you thoughts okay everyone available yay maisha have a great day bye bye shalom take care