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Ani Ledodi #10 Likutei Torah - Teshuva requires Torah Study and Tzedaka Giving - Unresolved Issues
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we're on page
this is the final uh chapter
in the maya manila de la crosse
and we're learning it from the citizen
of edis so to briefly recap in the last
chapter
what
in the quote
in the last vedic
the altar ebba
spoke about
if a person
is incapable of
of making a bikush a request
of god to have mercy on his soul
to do trouba he's so jaded he's so
clogged
so the alternative says in that case
either god
gives him
fire from above meaning in the sense of
taurus
that
hazal say
wash you out
and put you in a very special place if
god forbid
this happens to a person where there's
serious issues of
health parnosa
children
bonacai and zaina
so that's that's us the school smile
milo and
to understand that better you need to
study chapter 26 and tanya
that not everyone gets
what we
do need to do as
average people when we can't
evoke any type of emotion whatsoever
is
to create our own fire
in the sense of see goofy vitanios
fasting
with kind of torturing our body
making our body uncomfortable from the
pleasures
of the physical world so not to eat and
not much and not to sleep much and all
that to the word pains you with your
hunger pains your sleep deprivation
on and on
uh in front of that
is that the reason why the the lip box
lose the hub
um it's one of the reasons it's not the
only reason but yes it's one of the
reasons that
since bahab comes after the young tavern
and the um
people tend to eat much and to
you know
get carried away a little bit so they
wanted they want to
uh
fast so that we could kind of wash away
our of course this attained
if we didn't eat with small for the sake
of god and etc etc that's one reason
but going back i wanted to point out
that in the footnote 36
on page
of dalit
he brings here what i told you yesterday
i didn't realize that he he says here he
quotes the writer
21 page 132
and another series of the rebbe where
the rebels says that in today's
generation
even
not the altar rebecca's generation i
told you yesterday the alternative
rights are ready
and he get a sativa that one
should fast
for sins a half a day
half days
and the rest redeemed through charity
there ever that ever notes and i quoted
it yesterday that because we're even
weaker
today
we should um avoid fasts at all costs
and and redeem the fasts with seducka
and that's why
uh on a fast day you know it's
uh special and the uh based on the alta
rebels writing it's it's
imperative
to give to tzedakah the equivalent of
what you would eat what it would cost
you to eat during the day
so if your meals norm normally yoni cost
you ten dollars a day you should give
ten dollars to dhaka if you have it
on on a fast date and if someone eats
more lavishly and it costs them twenty
dollars you give 20 if someone eats more
meagerly you should get five dollars so
it all depends on what your
level of eating and expenses for that
food for the two three meals that you
have you should give it to tzadaka on a
fast date now we're on page cafe and the
altered now will will teach us that
although
this fire either from above or below
are necessary to wash away
the redness i.e the sins
that one picked up
from transgressing
side
complementary to this there must be
[Music]
uh vessels of
tsudaka and torah learning
to
capture the light of hashem that it stay
within you now what does this mean my
shirt
you could fast and you can and and and
you could bring or give sadaka all for
the sake of atonement
but that's all not making a vessel
that's
you know that's just
removing
a problem
but if you want it to stick
you need to make a vessel
and this is an important point not only
here but throughout khasidis and for our
life in avoidance hashem
if a person doesn't make a kaley
you could do chuva from today till
tomorrow and your true va is is good
and accepted
but it doesn't last you'll fall back
into a trap
why because removal of negativity is not
equivalent to making a vessel for
positivity
i'll repeat that again
removal of negativity is not equivalent
to making a vessel a kaley for
positivity
making the kaley grounds the situation
they're they're fine they're
you create a a place and a boat
in which the the energy the light the
the the kedusha has a place to stay
within you
and if it stays within you
then it stays within you wherever you
are
just by removing the problem
through fasting and through this goofy
it's very important and very necessary
but it's only temporarily you know why
because today
i remove this problem and tomorrow i'm
gonna have another problem new
so without having a fixture a caylee
you you will experience
problems
and when you experience problems you're
unhappy
and when you're unhappy it's hard to
serve hashem
so that's why dalterev and now in the
next chapter
talks about making akali let's look at
the altareb's words
one more
thing i have to tell you
the person
who is involved in the avoider in the
activity of anila divided
and in what he wants to really attain
the truther
that gives him the clean slate to go
into tishrei
and he's searching moshe so the luscious
eight banafra
very strong language he has to insert
solutions in the soul
all right you see
remember the other day we had the word
the verb which was
the advice of of all advices
here he says even more so
you have to put place insert
a toys advice benefit you have to really
really
shove it in
into your soul
stick it in
plug it in
where it doesn't get this disattached
so masha kosova says in the passage
in the
markets and in the streets
avaksha i search
as
shahaba nafshi
my love of my soul again
written in the form of a love of the
love story a love poem
it says there's the lover
you have to search for the lover in the
in the markets and in the streets
because you're so
infatuated with the with the one who you
love so go search it so now spiritually
one second
ah
the verse continuous velvel
until i find you'll find
ash
your lover the one who you love who your
soul loves
then it says in the verse ah steve i
will grab on
and i won't let loose i'll grab after
her because i love her
and i won't let loose
actually vasey until i bring her back
elbay see me to my mother's home and
i'll say i want to marry you
into the room of my parents
that's of course all symbolic he's not
married so what does he bring into the
room for an intimate experience you got
to get married first but it's the idea
that the love is so strong that this is
what you would like to do
you want to accomplish this intimate
intimacy that's the end of the verse
says
that's so uh you know esoteric
and so symbolic and the altered breaks
it down for us to
to live with
you gotta search for the issues in the
marketplaces in the streets why be
making aveda
yoni you got to go to woodburn i don't
mean you
you got to go to youth woodburn when
they used to play saturday night in the
in the stores over there when i was a
kid i remember my parents would take me
out with pizza and i saw all the older
guys hanging out the boys and girls and
playing uh what's a cool pool
and we'll leave it at that
so if you goofed up over there a
one-night stand or something else etc
you got to go back there and the truth
are there
that's what it says
you got to go to the place where you
goofed up
just doing chuva in the shoe and the
marriage is real it's good but it's not
the it's not the complete
that's it
so he says
because right you want to find the lost
part
of your soul that was lost it it still
exists but you don't know where it is so
where did i get where did this i got to
go back there and i got to pick it up
gotta find it
ah often
even if you found it so you went back to
woodburn and you found the elevator you
found the lost spark
in the
lawyer hashem
it won't last that shiva will not last
unless bilty caleb you make vessels
it's brought down a cabal available
the removal of the light from a vessel
is due to the fact i don't have a kali
i don't have a proper vessel
what is vessel let's let's talk about
this in our language what's a vessel
a vessel is an environment that makes
sense
that you have figured out and developed
in which it will attain and hold your
truva
for the rest of your life
because no longer are you a wood burn
person
no longer are you a
grateful dead person
no longer are you a bohemian
but you're a you're a yid
and you woke up from your slumber and
you woke up and you saw that it's all
nourished guys it's nonsense and you say
i don't want this life anymore i want to
do truth
or you're today like we spoke about
yesterday or the day before
you're somewhat i was from and all of a
sudden you're having a rifle
they call it a rifle you know rifa yon
is
a weak moment
i got a weak moment
and i'm slipping down the hill
so my pairs that are usually were out
get cut off or under my yamaka i start
growing hair
and i start goofing up arifayon or if
you're maybe in yeshiva
and you have questions does god really
exist does he really want this is torah
really divine
and you don't talk about it to anyone
because you're embarrassed but meanwhile
inside you're crumbling
says the altered
that in order to to to and you do choose
them and it's coming
you say i got to stop this this is this
is not good for me
about it says you must make a vessel
if you're not vessels and we're going to
sing to the two the two vessels if you
don't make the vessels
the energy the chuva doesn't have what
to grab onto remember what he says
the lover grabs on to his love
and he doesn't let go and he brings her
home to his parents home enters parents
bedroom he wants her
he doesn't let go
that's why he's made now a kaylee he's
brought her into a house he's brought
her into a room we need to do the same
thing with our children
we need to make calend
for the trooper to express itself in and
what would that be today i think it
would be
one one of the things it would be is
finding a place where you can express
your passion within the confines of
torah
yes
so someone has a passion
for art
uh you know like i've had experiences
and we've spoken about it over the years
with artists who were from but who had a
desire to
paint uh inappropriate pictures
you take that same passion
and you put it into making a beautiful
picture of how the world will look when
shia comes
or how a tsunius woman looks in her face
and may you show him
you know what i'm saying
you have to find a mis we say in hebrew
a misget it
an environment the confines in which you
can express
your true passion
within total within holiness within
sanctity
and the same is true with children and
grandchildren
not to and today's youth
not to
um exclude
their desires but to be inclusive in a
fine holy way
you know and that's why
that's why
at times it's the best thing for a young
man or girl
young man particularly to enter the army
the man is wild and and undisciplined
and and having a difficulty with their
development
it could quite well be that that army
which you know isn't exactly holy holy
holy will menstrual christ will make him
into a mensch a a number one and
therefore number two he'll actually
become more from
because he'll wake up and realize that
just being you know a wild beast and
just all over the place
there's no mahalik there's no is no
purpose
and and and so you have so so the army
would be for example in this scenario
the kali
there's such energy that the youth have
and they and and they're just throwing
particularly if they have a love for the
country and they want to protect amnesty
oil and they're not ready to sit in
yeshiva and kaya will say i'm protecting
through like they like those that sit in
yeshiva and coyotes they are protecting
the land through learning i'm not
diminished belittling that that's
there's place for that too
but he doesn't have the patience he
doesn't have the interest doesn't have
the knowledge
find a way where he can be expressive or
she can be expressive of that
the same is with us
it comes now el ronello we're 15 14 days
away from rosh hashanah
and we're asking ourselves
what happened this year
what did i do that was good what did i
do that was not so good where do i need
improvement says the altered it's good
that you're thinking about it and it's
good that you're going to places
excuse me you wouldn't visit
before
because it's too
delicate
and now you're jumping in and you want
to confront the issue
says the al-qaeda and make sure to make
a vessel
without vessels
it's just
another fleeting experience
you see you can have leading experiences
of truva
and while they exist jaini they're
beautiful
and remorseful so you can sit and cry
and you could then and laugh
and and
it's all very good but you gotta make a
kaley what are the caleb let's see what
the altar never says
allah says
says he says you have to make caleb
number one
you hear that
the letters of the toyota
reading letters of the title
are vessels they're v i see is moisture
and you you do icy ice those icy ice
draw
the passion and energy
into a container
making of that passion the best type of
experience as expressed by the oysters
and maybe one day or maybe you've done
this you will do a piece of art based on
this mimer the altered ever and this
idea how the letters the oceans the
olive
the tough are kailin for the ur
with you know with the concept of how
people's passion can be experienced best
through the oceans
torah
now what's the spiritual concept i
brought my love home to my mother's home
he says this refers to torah sheba
the written torah
and i put i brought her into my parents
bedroom zoo taylor swift
that's the oral torah right because the
the the
base emi i don't want to go into now any
mother represents written torah
kabbalistically and parents bedroom rep
parents represent oro
as it says
for god your god h next page top of
o who
god is a consuming fire
okay shame she after election
and just like fire will not be settled
without a wick a shroom
or with any other matter that contains
yanny the fire from going away and
extinguished and being extinguished
right
so too he goes back to the verse
i held on to her i grabbed on to her the
loyal and i didn't let go i didn't let
her be loose
so in other words moshe what is what is
keeping
the fire of love for torah
here
the vessels that you make through the
letters of the written torah and the
oral torah
they are vessels
they slap you down and keep you grounded
we don't get all
populated
with
fantasies of of passion and energy
that in the real world are total
nonsense
okay
[Music]
here is another interpretation of the
word shoshanim
if you read the word velvel instead of
means who learn
means those who pasture in the study of
torah and in the study of in particular
and that's why it's so important not
just to learn
gemara and madrid
you need to learn
because aloha grounds you
aloha says this is yet acceptable this
is not so all the halal gamoras and all
the khasi this and all the music and all
the philosophy in kabul it's all nice
but
are the oysters that ground you
and that's why it's written
heroic means who pastures
guess what
we give hashem spiritual food
we are sustaining hashem
when we
learn
[Music]
to rest
and be revealed by
saying his butt of god's inner will when
hashem sees yay that we make a vessel of
oh
hashem says i want to be there too
i like that place
so this my spirit our spirit in learning
torah draws down the spirit of god yes
who someone said something no okay
they are
and he gives the example take for
example someone who eats
me
what does eating do you need connects
your soul and your body right your body
it doesn't have food it gets hungry it
can starve to death so you need food to
continue the connection between soul and
body she is
possible for the soul to extend itself
broadly throughout the entire body
so
too caviar anthropomorphically speaking
is some of your mind we feed hashem
[Music]
which it reveals to us the inner will of
god thou art responded by god shining
his panimius his essence on us
this is
the first kaylee
right he says caleb
what's the second kaylee look
further um
also another cayley that's needed
to ground the person's truva
giving to dhaka
said stop stuck as an
i hear this he throws in a line this is
the external
this is external
external
why maisha is sadaka giving external
compared to
learning through the icy subtitle which
is peneus
very simple
when you learn something you understand
it it's digested yay you understand it's
like take eating food it's digested and
becomes part of your flesh and blood
giving sudaka is not
is not plenious
it's a very important act
and to make the cayley no question about
it in a certain sense it's even greater
but
it's called in this context at least the
gritsonius
the external compared to the premiums
which is the learning of
the toyota that's why it calls it
exclusiveness
and we need this kritsonius this act
external act of giving charity giving
sadaka
with us
to to receive
a panemius of hashem
the of the light
going on the next page
you gave us a living title
so what do we see available we have two
things toyota
is one kelly i see satora
and the second vessel is ava
to do ava
for free
help
be benevolent
peter says the alternate explain this
hashem
the verse implies that in order to
receive the light of god's continents
you need two vessels
[Music]
it's the study of traitor the letters of
tito it seems that it both written and
oral and hesed also meaning the hasset
that's a doc
this is the formal end of the minor and
we have here just to talk a little bit
about the
overall connection right because you're
probably asking yourself what's the
connection between what we learned in
this chapter
to anila david
the verse that we began the mimer with
so this is this is the synopsis of the
mind
anila divided
during the month of ello we begin the
process
of coming close to hashem
it
we have the ability we have the strength
and the awareness to do that
because we hear that the king is coming
to the field what's that in the nimshun
the moral moshe that is the uh the the
revelation of the 13 attributes of
you'd give me this
that shine specially
and differently
in evil than they do throughout the year
in other words the king coming into the
field you hear that
the king coming to feet in the field is
analogous
to the shining of the 13 attributes
once the 13 attributes are here once the
king is in the field
we say to ourselves let me go and greet
him but we need to say to ourselves
and by the way
for that
no one can do it for you
for that you need to do yourself
i i explained this in one of the earlier
fury
that
the king being in the field
gives you
the
ability and the and the knowledge that
that you
if you're gonna get up from your bed and
your couch and your computer and your
lifestyle during l and you'll go into
the field you're going to make a sale
you're going to make you're going to
accomplish
but at the end of the day if you don't
do that no one's going to do it for you
king schming feel billed it ain't
happening
there there's no abracadabras here
judaism yiddish
doesn't work that way
it's it's it's it's a a total mistake
you know we think sometimes just for a
moment i get a broker from assadic i get
a broker from whatever i go to iran i
get a broke i go to i go to a it's all
true but you know what
it takes you to a believe in it
and b to either go there or send a and
send a letter there in other words it
takes work
it takes effort
it doesn't happen just by i'm gonna you
know like they say where you're
dominating this morning at the coast
cell which coast cell in my house
get over it yes during corona when we
couldn't dive now with a minion that was
the greatest thing
but in a normal situation don't give me
that nars guy go to a shul and dive with
a minion
and hear amen and then zomingya
and and and and and do what it says
don't try to be smarter than the ko
norov but but i can't i don't want to
it's cold it's hot
do it you're sick you're not feeling
what's a different situation that the
torah understands so what let's go back
so the king is in the field
there's an opportunity here
now you have to
in other words let's say we woke up
today let's say now in the afternoon
you're going to get a message from your
wife
from from what you're online you're
going to get a message
someone came to town and is giving out
money
big money
are you gonna go a lot of people will go
if you don't go and you expect him to
come knocking on your door and hand you
the money you're a big fool it's not
happening
he wants you in the field why he wants
us to work a little bit
to show we care
that's what we call kabula soil
kabbalah sale
acceptance of god's yoke means put forth
effort
so someone and so now so now
what if someone
doesn't want to go to the field or even
if he goes to the field he came to be a
spectator
well you know what a spectator sport is
he doesn't believe that moscow the the
russia is better than
the germans in soccer
and he goes to the to the soccer the cup
whatever they call it you know and he's
there as a spectator he's not there
because he really believes his team is
it is the best
you can go and you'll come and you'll be
untouched
there were people who came to the river
and came to them shimon
they went in and they went out
and they were the same person
you know why because they did not
allow themselves
to deal
with that part of their being that has
an issue with tata that has an issue
with mitzvos that has an issue with
exotic
and if you don't confront that
your complacency
will remain and if it remains it can
cause you
harm and damage and if not you your kids
or your grandkids
because this the the apple doesn't fall
far for the tree
and when a a parent
has a spiritual issue with a sp with
torah in any sense of the word
etc
there's a ripple effect
there's always a ripple effect says the
altar but that's why
you have to go to the midbar
not literally go to a desert
but if you have a desert mindset a
desert is a place where there's no
vegetation and no growth and on the
contrary scorpions and snakes find
themselves there in other words a desert
is symbolic of some some experience
that's antithetical to god that's
against god
you have to find that issue
and you have to go there meaning you
have to identify with it
and say i don't want this anymore i was
wrong i made a big mistake and i will
never repeat it
and when you do that
then
you've not only cleansed your field
mindset which is neutrality
you've also cleansed your desert
mentality which is negativity
so we need to begin with field
you know
but don't forget the desert mindset too
but the beginning should be feel neutral
you know my neutral part my neutral
experience i'm just sitting on the couch
and chatting we learned about idle talk
well i'm not i'm not speaking russian
horror i'm not gossiping i'm not
stealing i'm not being vulgar
i'm just wasting time
in the name of chilling out
now if you need it for your sanity
you know
and and by the way
great rash of shivers and rabbanim and
sadiq would take a walk i reminded
myself this morning he already passed
away the school anna river
on 54th near 13th avenue i don't know if
you only were ever by him uh he was from
romanian it was at sadiq and and i dab
and i you know as you know
i'll send you i have a letter from the
school letter of the original the one
that was in borrow parts yes right yeah
that he would say he was my i'm not he
was my not son dick he was a
something he was in my breast i don't
remember okay so that
was very important so that that's
one morning returning from shul on the
way to the sheer here
i noticed a gentleman with with a stick
in with a i think a silver cane and i
could see i didn't really know i went to
him one time i brought someone to him so
i noticed it was sam and he was walking
with a gabba and on on 54th street
between 13th and 14th avenue and it was
6 6 30 in the morning was very early and
and he was getting you know fresh air
and i rolled my window down and i said
good morning to him and he looked at me
and
i said show malaysia from the car oh my
god
so there's a time
for that when a walk is holy and that
ever needs a walk through he needs he
needs that health you know what i'm
saying
so that's all neutrality
that's field
desert
is going to places where we really don't
want to go to and we and we shouldn't go
there but but if you need to correct an
issue that's still
in there and bothering you and not
bothering you and that you it's
unresolved unresolved
unresolved we need to resolve it because
if we don't resolve it
unfortunately we could you know pass on
with an unresolved issue and it's it's
not great for the soul so try to resolve
it
you know just recently i heard about
someone whose parents passed on a parent
passed on and and and the son said
publicly
i think i thought it was very brave of
him he said it publicly
he says you know i i didn't have a great
relationship with
my parent and uh and now i can't
ask him i can't talk them about it
and that's very painful
very painful so the same as talking to
hashem our parent hashem it's rosh
hashanah
that's what that's what we mean maisha
about
dealing with the desert like issues okay
between us and hashem
kippur we have to ask muchilas from our
friends from people roshan is about the
relationship between god and us
so find those areas of that are
unresolved and and and deal with them in
a truthful way
and al qaeda says that he concludes the
mimer and the way to make this truth a
stick and be permanent that you never
will return to
to that situation is through making
vessels one the vessel of the letters of
tay the words of taylor the written
torah and the oral torah
you particularly
very important
by the way suggested to many people to
learn
and that's why i started with you guys
in the kailua
you only remembers you you you guys
weren't there then but we learned
kitchener and from the kitchen we took
off and we went into you know nice uh
contemporary halacha but i felt
especially the rebels suggested it that
let the
vessel for learning the kitchen
you
which is great and then also the idea of
giving sadaka giving to dukkha when you
give part of yourself your money what
you earned to another yi to another
institution etc etc this is a great
kaylee to
uh
to to ground a person in a good way
uh we're going to continue tomorrow the
next my mercy just keep you swarm at 7
is a mime of rosh hashanah and we will
continue using this text okay
kevin i gotta go have a great you have a
question martial yes
no no no no no saying goodbye but uh
i just want to say one thing there was
one thing that did you mentioned a
couple days ago i think it was on
thursday's share yeah i think
it was the concept
of um
it was the concept of
uh
you said that the baal shem tov said
it's very difficult to transform a taiva
yes
and i i have to say i i was fascinated
by that because um
that's
it's it's something i think that i've
thought about
many many many many times over a very
long time i don't ever remember
let's say hearing it quite in that
language of
transforming the time
i'm just bringing that up because
we're leaving this mimer but i'm just
wondering if if that's something that
maybe could be discussed briefly i don't
know tomorrow
i i
i guess what i'm trying to say is i want
to know
did we
did we cover that
did the mimer cover that not really no
the mimer did not
tell us give us how do we transform a
diver did not no
that that's not that's not the part of
this minor but uh maybe in the course of
the next few days i'll share some
you thoughts okay
everyone available yay maisha have a
great day bye bye shalom take care