Healing Hearts 1

give me an example what I mean by this when we were all young so we all fell in love with some girl you know whether you had a crush and dynamic guts to actually be in the relationship or you actually were another teenage relationships 16 15 14 you know whatever was and you gave your precious heart that had only been in the hands of your of your loving parents or your loving siblings and relatives and you actually placed it in some girl's hand and what did she do she will first of all what was that feeling this is the greatest feeling you've ever had think about it Bridget you can recall a feeling like that where you gave your heart for the first time to someone and you thought it was the greatest incredible thing only three of you be honest tradin have you ever had that feeling okay and you might have just had a crush but there was this intoxicating feeling in the situation listen what happened so what happens when you hand something precious to a fourteen-year-old her 15 year old or 16 year old them right something something happens and what she does is she takes your precious heart and she squeezes the blood out of it because she's only 14 or she's only 16 she doesn't know how to care for that if you had a diamond what's more precious a heart or a diamond the best one the heart is much more precious than the diamond you can stomp on it it won't get even scratched probably but the heart is your most important organ meaning your emotions and what happens is a hand a diamond to a 14 year old yet you handed your heart to the 14 or the 16 year old the 17 year old with 12 year old I don't know how only were and when they squeeze you felt the deepest pain you've ever felt maybe only matched by your birth when you were separated from your mother which you weren't even cognizant up but you felt the deepest pain you've ever felt in your life prison if you felt that pain before same people probably the same people and you know what you said yourself by the way do human beings how human beings like having negative emotion all right that's we supply the whole drug and alcohol world based on our negative emotion is so so so with human beings don't like hanging around with negative emotions so you know what we did we said the following words you may not remember it but I promise you said it whether you said it verbally reset it in your heart you said I will never love again and unfortunately you were being serious and if you think about it I don't care how good a relationship you've had since then you never let yourself go like that you never like a new heart go fully into it and it and you probably are thinking that well marriage will be different if anything marriages even more disappointing because now I'm married and I still can't do it and that's the biggest complaint I get I counts a lot of couples Council many many couples the biggest complaint i get is you know it's either him saying she doesn't give me her whole heart or it's her complaining you know he stays it worked so late he could have easily been home at six but he comes on at like nine he doesn't give me his whole heart by the way this is all the foundation of workaholism and not wanting to deal with the engagement the being intimacy because of this pain that we're afraid of and this is what leads to this stuff is because as soon as it starts getting good i gotta pull away get away from that she's doing the same thing you guys will be married one day and you'll experience this I bless you not to I unless you to work it through I have ways of how to get through this but you'll be married one day and you'll see that your wife is having trouble giving herself totally entrusting totally and all that stuff you know you're gonna want to do you're going to want to like shoot through her throat somehow like go through time into a time capsule and you'd want to go to every guy that ever broke her heart or slept with her or anything and you want to just go like this I married this woman and she still can't give her heart to me just a living trust and she's going to undo the same thing to you still want to do the same thing so every time that we go back into the pattern of the counterfeit of that love which can often be just casual casual sexual relationships which is you realize that that's chasing the counterfeit of that feeling it's like trying to get the feeling without actually going into the vulnerability of the feeling because remember how vulnerable it was so we're going for the counterfeit of the feeling without actually going into the feeling and but every time we do that it's just another brick in the wall all in all it's just a wall of marriage and children and trying to relate and be someone who relates fully to their spouse which creates normality and and so solidity for raising it creates a fertile bed for raising children more healthy now it was never like this in history you ready for this throughout history Jews and Gentiles I'm not preaching here there's Jews and Gentiles you are not done as a parent until you married your kid off which wasn't that old is probably probably 14 15 you marry kid off probably 14 or 15 throughout history and you marry you you're not done certainly unfortunate kids not gonna marry himself off so you marry your kid off and today in the in my community for example if we marry the boys at the girls get we married at seventeen eighteen or 18 19 15 17 19 and the boys were married between 19 and 20 my whole community I have a massive community my community there is no single man over the age of 21 we're 21 and up it's 21 maybe 22 maybe an individual in the same with women because we hand their whole heart they're innocent and pure whole heart over in marriage to someone that we have carefully carefully investigated and you believe me after raising a child with everything you put into it financially emotionally educationally you're going to be very careful to your hand that kid too you guys are too developed all ready for that you have to marry yourselves off because no one's gonna your parents just don't get you they're not going to help your parents don't get any more you know you know I'm saying had they married y'all when you were 14 they're done an amazing job probably better job than you're probably going to do but at this point you're too developed to be married off you have to basically go through the gauntlet to get yourselves married which is this guides I guide people all the time in this you know you have to be guided knowing command and the old days people used to be able to marry themselves off today it's impossible is so hard that's why you'll meet people in their 40s and 50s who still haven't gotten married in massive quantities Manhattan you kidding tel Aviv you know what the single scene is like people in their starts in two 20s and it basically never ends very few people and when's last time you guys went to a wedding how many wedding to go to a year how many wedding to go through you they're always the recently spotted two years ago 20 wow so you hang out with observant people oh no big square yeah but that's like the wrong guy and who doesn't hang out with observing people at all ok yogi how many weddings you went to last year well how many weddings you went to last year actually less you five wedding about that age you want to know something that you want to know something I think in my community this week this week's sunday through thursday there are something like 25 weddings this bruisers this week lost something like 25 wedding it's a lot of broken glass let's wrap let's prelim over only yeah well it's just as there i go to what you do is you just go to this one scopa you go this one's dancing other this one's really sure you just keep moving to move in and move in a movie why when you get men you have a wedding here you have the most random people at your dinner you know at the actual meal time because it all depends where they're holding in there you know they're trying to street spend at least possible on cabs to get from wedding the wedding you know so just whenever they wound up at your part of the meal is your part of the wedding is a goofy you know i guess you could save money that way just be it like the end be on the other side of Jerusalem so by the time they got to your wedding would be like look sort of 11 at night you know you know just give them a snack or something so anyway also you by the way all weddings in Jerusalem