You Got to Know How to Throw a Party - By Rabbi YY Jacobson

the yeshiva dotnet the opening of McGillis Esther the scroll of Esther which all Jews read on the holiday of Purim famously opens with the pasta with the verse via Heba Marrakesh parish and the way the pasta phrase does and I'll I'll say it I'll pronounce a it and the in the melody which which in which we say the Megillah vaya he be mayor Hashmi Irish who are harsh am I let me do that course Sheriff obvious rim who may am Edina which means it was in the days of a hash virus he is darkish parish who reigned from how you do to cush from India to Ethiopia over 127 provinces and the Megillah continues to tell the story how he was sitting on his throne in the capital of the Persian Empire which was Shushan and in the third year after three years of kingship he decided to make and throw a grand feast for all of his ministers all of his servants his entire army and all of the governors in all of his provinces displaying his wealth and his kingdom Rashi the great commentator of the Tanakh quotes the words who Akashi Irish what perturbs Arash he is something very obvious it could have said it should have said by he be Mahesh Rajesh Hamal is Mahadev at course Sheva vas and Ramaiya Medina it was in the days of a harish who reigned from high do from India to Ethiopia 127 provinces there seems to be two words in this verse that are superfluous necessary by America Irish who are harsh Raiders hammerless my devout coach it was in the days of a fresh radish he is darkish Maryland from her little crush the capacitor could've said by America Irish how much milder vodka this question is a very obvious question and any serious student who reads it has to take pause why these two extra excessive words the Evan Ezra Rubino of Rama Vanessa who lived in the 12th century in Spain explains that the reason it says who are harsh radish is because there was more than one are harsh marriage in the Persian Empire so to save a America Irish there was more than one in order to identify that we're talking about one and not to confuse it with the other the pastas Rajib America Irish how my left mahadeva course that wouldn't suffice it because there was more than one he says which Irish Irish who are harsh Raiders darkest relish I'm talking about is the one whose empire reached such grand space from how you do tell Kosh that's whatever nazar explains which seems like a very straightforward and pleasant explanation it would be like if you're talking about the history of American presidents you'll say it was in the days of President Bush but there was more than one President Bush to his President Bush the father and President Bush the son so you might say it was in the days of President Bush the one who created who declared the first gulf war against Saddam Hussein so you'll know it's the days of President Bush the father the Papa not the son so by America Schrader's I don't have to say aloha model here I hate it man that's Raiders definitely says who are conservatives which one that our customers am I looking at David Kosh when you look however at Rashi Rashi gives a very different interpretation Rashi says by America Irish who are cash bearish so on the words by Marrakech Raiders this was a Persian king who reigned after Cyrus he was a successor of courage of Cyrus he reigns at the end of 70 years of the Babylonian exile the Jewish people were exiled into Babylonia in the year 580 say 86 BC before the Common Era the year of the destruction of this first base a mixed addition seventy years later they ultimately begin a return back to the Holy Land some of them and this occurs reddish rains during that period then Rashi says who are crushed Irish who be reassured him Italy lost savate cipher the reason the tire of the Tanakh adds the words who are courageous to teach who are cursed Farish he is our Australia she remained in his wickedness from the beginning of the story to the end of the story there's going to be a long story Rashi says don't think that this man ever went through a change or a metamorphosis he remains the same Russia the same obnoxious politician from the beginning of the story till the end of the story that's why the Megillah says why he be Marrakesh Raiders not just hammerlock mahadeva's cush who are Swedish how is Russia explaining the words by Heba mayekar Irish who are harsh maids it would be like you saying you dish it was in the days of a harsh radish and you should know our conservators who are Crusaders are Crusaders is the zelma oscillator circuit radix remains the same across parish there's going to be many Irish parishes you might think the man in the beginning of this story is not the man at the end of the story he went through a change of heart he went through a metamorphosis his good Jewish wife got to him at some point and influenced him and changed them so the Megillah says right in the opening but he been a harsh reaction I just want to tell you who are harsh Raiders he is the same our Raiders from the beginning to the end which at first glance this Rashi is extremely strange Rashi whose name was Rob a new Shlomi it's kaki who lived in the 11th century from 1040 till 11:05 in France in Troy in the city of Troy in France who was the greatest biblical commentator explains numerous times in his commentary on himesh Anil a boss si le Loup shooter Soumitra my job is to explain the literal interpretation of the verses if there's no literal explanation available Rashi will resort to midrashic explanations homolytic elects planation x' symbolic explanations but his mission statement in homage and in Tanakh meaning entire intervening soobin is always shoot or shulk's of him as he puts it traditional maker the shot the most literal straightforward simple reading as we would say not to exclude the fact that there are other layers but there are different genres in Jewish literature different my version different commentators focus on different layers of explanations Rash's focuses potential maker you have here two superfluous words who are crushed very you look at that Vanessa he gives a very literal straightforward interpretation you might get confused between Persian kings there was more than one Irish marriage so the McGill identifies by ubermensch Reynard there was more than one let me give you a simin let me give you a sign on identifying biography to know who I'm talking about you might do it in years you might do it through an event so we describe his reign and then we can know who will cherish where we're talking about that's a simple explanation comes Rashi and instead of embracing what would seem as a very straightforward simple interpretation presents to us what would seem like a far-fetched extremely madrasah and non literal interpretation that when it says who are crushed vanish we're not even talking about the physical person we're talking about his character traits and we're talking about something they have to know at the end of the story but he be mad frustrated who are fresh radish we don't mean he's a harsh radish he is the same Marcus Raiders don't think anything changed why would rash reject the literal interpretation to give the madrasah Cantor predation that these two extra words are actually a description of the psychological or moral profile of a Harish there is a principle we say in the hidayah shoppers safe mice of a massive Attila the end of action the final act is always rooted in the first thought which is also a very practical idea when you're planning say to build a home your first initial thought that initial dream is only implemented with the last pound of the hammer when the contractor finishes his job hopefully doesn't take 20 years that's when your original thought has actually facilitated so if my sir the last action is always connected with macho vanilla with the first thought and safer yet serious says notes SOI fon betray la señal de la santé siphon the beginning is etched in the end and the end is etched in the beginning to appreciate what Rashi was thinking one has to go to the last verse of the Megillah so from the first verse we travel to the last verse 2 the final culmination of the entire Magilla the Megillah ends the last chapter chapter 10 key Mordecai hayehudi missional amalaki for Irish Mordecai the Jew was the Viceroy he was the Prime Minister the second-in-command to the King a cash-rich the god de la yahudim v-rod seal arrived a cough dearest toy of Lama of a diver shallow Mahal Zara he was great among the Jewish people he was beloved by most of his brothers he seeked the welfare of his nation and he spoke peace to all of his children and descendants now whenever you see a verse in the Tanakh tell you ROTC Leroy ever Huff our eye our ears perk up and say he was beloved by most of his brothers even if that's true we don't expect that rude to be embraced by all of his brothers that wouldn't be very Jewish but the Megillah makes a point to emphasize in the last verse that Marduk is rod serling Roy valve don't think he was beloved by all of his brothers by most of his brothers this of course needs explanation what was the issue that some people had with murder hi how can anybody criticize Marduk I mean he is the man who literally effected the salvation of the Jewish people he is the one who kept on guiding Esther while she was in the palace before the decree after the decree of hummin he is the one who guided Esther on what to do and how to do it even though Esther ultimately created her own plan but Marduk I was the wind so to speak beneath the wings who motivated her and inspired her and helped her overcome her initial reluctance and natural fear to enter into her the chamber of a hershberger she was a a real dictator and a tyrant and if as she told Mordecai if you go without permission you can come out with a head shorter so Mordecai and Esther together the great team created the salvation of the Jewish people how can anybody say anything disparagingly about Mordechai no akasha feud in that question but this is what the rat bothers Rashi rotc Leroy back of why Roy why not war why didn't everybody love Mordecai so I quote Rashi malama Villa La Jolla cough he was not beloved was not cherished ROTC action doesn't mean beloved ROTC means agreed most of his brothers agreed to him the Loyola College of not all of his brothers agreed with him Allah made Shapiro my mono mixes and hadron you learn from here that some of the Sun Hadron separated from our decay they segregated for Martha Marduk I was the leader of a group known as the Sanhedrin which I guess loosely can be translated as the Jewish Supreme Court the Sanhedrin which is actually a Greek word is the name that was given to the 71 members of the great Jewish Supreme Court that functioned from the days of Moshe Rubino until the 5th century after the Common Era and this was the most important body of authority among the Jewish people who ultimately were the spiritual leaders of the Jewish nation when there were disputes when they were debates they would make the final decisions this was the body of leaders that were ordained person to person from their mentors from their mentors all the way back to marshana been ordained 70 people and he was the 71st you had to have an odd number in order to take votes because he had to follow the majority if there was a dispute in each generation there was the institution was devolved in the in the four in the fifth century in the 400s when the Talmud Bavli was being sealed in Iraq that's when this institution was dissolved it was impossible to maintain that anymore and to maintain it and not ideal circumstances could create the worst corruption in Jewish history and it was much healthier to dissolve it and to create decentralized Judaism if you wish which is how we survived till this very day but that's a separate topic because with the Sanhedrin for it to be what it's supposed to be has to be immune to corruption and if you don't have those circumstances then it's much worse to have a central body than to have a completely decentralized body so a fascinating topic but it's for another time but what I want to emphasize here is that in each generation there was the Nazi the leader of the son hadron the man who so to speak stood in the shoes of motion what were the qualifications to be in the son Hadron very very intense qualifications of course tremendous knowledge but equally important that may be even more important was years shamayim tremendous humility and fear of heaven and complete commitment to integrity and truth Mordechai was the leader of the Sun hadn't in his day so Rashi says some members of the Sanhedrin separated from him they they felt that he made a mistake why leticia massacre of la malos because he became close to government he became the prime minister of Persia he became the second to command new what's luck for how you bottle hammoudi and therefore his learning was compromised you become the prime minister of a Persian Empire her schraeder CH was emotional but keeper this was the most powerful Empire at the time until it was defeated by the Greeks the Persians defeated the Babylonians and the Greeks defeated the Persians and that's when history moved on to the Greek era but Mordecai becomes the Mishnah lamella hawkish Irish so most of his brothers are very agreeable with them but only most some of his brothers Rashi says and it's his brothers meaning these are his friends his colleagues people on his on his level his peers Eckhoff his brothers it's not just stomp people why because he becomes a car of la malkos he's so involved in the empire in the government he's so close naturally some of his learning is compromised I a bottle metal moodily some of his learning is compromised and therefore many some of them are not agreeable with Martha are not agreeing to Martha hi this is a very interesting conclusion of the Megillah and raschi has to explain it because it says Leroy Vasco he can't ignore that you have to explain it but here we have a question what was more than I think the decree was over himand was executed his ten songs were hunger the war that Haman planned against the Jews on the thirteenth of other which was the day designated by Hamas as the day of genocide Ramona let's LAN la Hache Midler Eagle a bodice color Yehuda Minerva sergeant Avinash a day dedicated to the extermination loyal a know of the entire people the entire Jewish nation young and old children women men all every single last Jew that day has been transformed Wanaka who to the day that the Jewish people acting in self-defense killed their oppressors and those who wanted to murder them granted thus everything was changed jamon was out of the picture his children were out of the picture and the most important the decree was completely obliterated on the contrary the honor and the glory of Mordecai and Esther of the Jewish people reached its pinnacle reached its zenith its crescendo and the Persian Empire and all of those who were determined to kill the Jews what they wanted to do to their folds was brought back right on them this is what happens now comes Martha hi and he continues to remain close in the government he assumes the position of Prime Minister so some of his brothers say this is wrong Martha hi the question is what exactly were they thinking what exactly was he think certainly they couldn't have issues with the fact that when the decree was happening Martha I got very involved pakua Cana fish is diet cola Tara cola saving even one life overrides all of Tara and certainly being involved all day and learning attire despite its tremendous value that's what Martha I was doing not nobody could disagree with him on that this is even to save one life never mind to save literally every single Jewish life that existed at the time and Akash radish was a Marshall bikini basically ruled much of the civilized world I was known to us Meho devout cush so this included probably every single Jew alive we're almost every single jewel life that they couldn't have issues with what did they have issues with afterwards now you could now you could go back to cruise control the highway is not turbulent anymore this sea calm down everybody is safe everybody knows that the first lady is Jewish Esther revealed her identity Aakash bearish this in seventh heaven he loves his queen he's happy with the Jews altars good tune fine humming is gone he was killed his children were killed Xavier is gone the killers were destroyed the house good so they're telling Martha Skye what do you still have to remain in government why are you going away from the world of Tyra to the world of politics and now the world of man that's a good tool and that that's where their time is nonetheless most of the people disagree with them this is a minority it's not a majority Rasool Arroyo Huff most brothers of Martha that I felt he was doing the right thing a minority felt he was doing the wrong thing they felt he was doing the wrong thing is because if things are good now why shouldn't you go back to your nest go back to the nest where you were conceived where you developed to your natural home which is the world of learning the world of Tyler what do you have to hang out in the corrupt palace of a country we all know the mission in pre-clovis chapter 3 and ethics of the fathers have a say here in British ruse always be careful with government why they're nice to you when they need you and when they don't need you they'll backstab you that's what the applause doesn't procure the admission hasn't Brickley of us think it was Henry Kissinger the Jewish Secretary of State of the u.s. who once said it's a pity he says that all the corrupt politicians make the other 10% look bad I think it was Thomas Jefferson who once said when a man cast his longings when a man cast his longing eyes on the offices of politics corruptness rottenness begins to emerge in his conduct there was somebody else who once said why is it that there are not so many female politicians and the answer is it's too hard to put makeup on to faces politics politics is not a clean world even somebody who goes in with good intentions it's a very very tough world that's what Jefferson meant the moment you get comfortable on the throne other elements come into your heart rottenness as he put it rottenness comes into a person's heart sometimes they begin very idealistic but at the end it's a very difficult position to be able to maintain your idealism your purity your integrity your Emma's dick height it's all right that's even when you're dealing with somebody who goes in an ideal fashion the fact is that many people in politics are not very very refined always in their moral stature Nathan Sharansky the famous Soviet refusenik who was nine years in the Soviet gulag in Siberia and ultimately made it out to Israel and he went into the Knesset he became a minister so he once said what's the difference between me and other Israeli politicians he said I went to prison before I went to the government so that's what the Mishnah means when it says heavy Saharan Bureau shows be careful with government this is their time at the Mordechai especially you form all people it's not your place you places the base menders your place his town would you place a son Hendren this was their time so rash she now was thinking this is a good question why did he leave Torah and remain in the palace he should have said that hush marriage it was nice knowing you I'm gonna come once a year for the Purim party I'm sure they made a Purim party back up sir a rich I don't know what it looked like but I'm sure they made a put it buddy I'll come once a year he could send flowers Friday afternoon whatever he had to do you got to do what you got to do we didn't have to remain as are you entrenched carve the malkos you know when you're carving them all because every day there's dignitaries and his visits and this photos and there's pictures it's a whole it's a whole lifestyle it's public office it's an interesting lifestyle not an easy lifestyle and when you get used to it you get used to it effects you why did he have to do this and we know he did it and most of his brothers agreed so Rashi the great commentator who searches for the literal interpretation of the Megillah scans in his mind's eye does the Megillah anywhere answer this question you leave me with the final verse telling that he was beloved by most of his brothers you want me to know that some of his brothers disagreed and we explained why so now let's understand why did the majority disagree with them and why did more - I disagree with them didn't they have seemingly a good taina the job is done successfully kudos on to you now go back to learning so Rashi looks and looks and looks weird as the Megillah answer this question of why Martha I rejected the view of some of his peers and he searches and at first glance the Megillah doesn't address this question and then rashly realized the Megillah does address the question in the opening verse via Heba marrakesh Farish who are harsh reddish and rad she realized that those two words who are her Schrader's are really an explanation for the last passage of the Megillah the to excessive seemingly superfluous words who are her she Irish answer the question of the last verse of the Megillah why ROTC Leroy / Cove and some didn't disagreed with them and nonetheless he would not follow their advice and he remained Caravela Mallos what's the reason on this Rashi says because Akasha very rich who are harsh Irish who be reassuring me that he lost about Seif the opening of the Megillah says you have to know something about a harsh radish at the surface crash Raiders became the greatest Jew lover everything looked perfect and wonderful everything was dandy couldn't have been a better situation you should know our hearts very dear to our hearts very harsh way this is the same a harsh Raiders in the beginning of the story at the end of the story in either's as an expression there's Elba Yenta under Jewish light anybody ah I'm not a translated the same person in a different costume it's the same person they just learned to change the uniform they turn to change the language it stock a true a harsh way - hum-hum on and he nullified the decree and he gave more the fan Esther hummons home and he allowed Mordecai and Esther to do what they wanted with their enemies all's good and fine but you should know that bulimia is on a deeper level Aakash Ranas rehearsal a dish so there's Elba harsh Raiders in the beginning in the end and just like in the beginning Harmon came with the offer that he couldn't refuse even now in the midst of this paradise somebody can emerge with an offer that Irish Raiders won't be able to prove to refuse and everything kalila could be transformed from one extreme to another extreme in such a situation you have to remain vigilant you have to remain al Hamish Mar as they say you have to remain cautious and ready for every available opportunity you know Margaret I knew we could leave the palace he wanted to leave the palace mission accomplished but Martha's I knew as long as he's the Mishnah lamella hawkish mannish he can monitor he can scrutinize he has the influence he has the relationship he has the ties the connections and the power to be able to survey scrutinize monitor see this serve see this situation and eliminate neutralize or nip in the bud a future type of harm on in any type of manifestation that it's going to be so the words who are Crusaders according to Nancy are the explanation why Martha I could not agree with the minority of his brothers and yet some of them still disagree but this was only a minority because they perhaps felt that the present most must override the future and since in the present moment there was no foreseeable danger Martha you have no right to be in the palace next year something will happen you'll worry about it then martynuk I and most of the son had went out of that opinion they felt that the future always has to be part of present calculations especially when it comes to a man like a harsh Raiders and the Persian Empire and the palace and therefore Mordecai fell he should remain there which the truth is when you think about this this is also a reflection of many aspects of a person's life because very often applying these ideas to our lives are not always simple because it's not always on the same level but the concept the nucleus of the concept is extremely applicable to life sometimes a person goes through a struggle goes through a situation and we emerge from this situation what a mistake that a person people sometimes make is when they emerge from it they think that nothing can ever come back and that their immune completely to the problem so the Parcak says you have to know that sometimes at the surface everything looks calm but there may be an undercurrent and if you don't stand vigil against this akash marish he could be a dangerous person I was once very sharp at dawn in Boca Raton in Florida that's there's a big center of recovery there a lot of recovery centers on Boca Raton so there was a Shabbos that a Jewish organization in Boca that deals with Jews in recovery made a big Shabbat own for hundreds of people in recovery and their families it was a beautiful Shabbat on dr. turski was there a by torski was there some other therapists were there I also had the privilege of being there and I remember someone stood up at one of the groups one of the smaller groups and he said hi I am in the program I am I am an addict I'm an addict I'm addicted to alcohol and I've been sober for 32 years and he introduced himself when he spoke about some of his struggles I went over to him afterwards I said you call yourself an addict well you could sober 32 years 32 years the man did not taste alcohol Hal Avaya Fowler using is al Guevara 30 32 years even pay so he drinks grape juice he's now at a drink wine 32 years he didn't have a kid there she didn't never laugh I am this poor iam nurse of cost IRA not paste or nothing because he has an addiction problem it's a disease so I say why are you calling yourself an addict when 32 years you didn't taste alcohol I had alcohol at Shabbos I don't call myself an addict I've alcohol every sharpest I drink wine you didn't drink in 32 years why are you calling yourself an addict and he told me rabbi Jacobsen the day I stop calling myself an addict is the day I will once again fall prey to the disease of alcoholism and I will end up into the abyss in the abyss I must always tell myself I am an addict the devil waits for me not around the corner waits for me one yard away the moment I tell myself time to chill out to relax nothing going on you could just cruise through your life you don't have to be alert that's the day I become sick once again dysfunctional and I lose my sobriety it was an extremely powerful idea because I remember there's a mice that you're simply Benham of chisca the great Hasidic master of simcha bidam abscissa was once talking to his students and this was some cabin ham lived in the late 1700s and the early 1800s those were the decades of the French Revolution one of the very mean and bloody instruments used in the French Revolution was the guillotine in familiar with the guillotine trypsin had been amused the guillotine as a metaphor they would behead they beheaded many thousands and thousands with the guillotine in the name of the egalitarianism and the fraternity of the French Revolution it was a bloody revolution for the sake of emancipation and so if simcha Bentham told the students he said that on alert you a conscientious Jew on airless heed as he put it to somebody who sees the eight Sahara as standing with a guillotine right over his head and he's about to chop off his head that's this conscious this with which a Jew should realize he's in that's the consciousness that a Jew should have that the eight Sahara is standing with the guillotine over his head so one of his Hassidim said whoever what if I don't feel so I don't feel they says then your head was chopped off already now the point here was I don't think the idea to live in constant stress or guilt the idea was the conscientiousness the deep alertness and awareness how vulnerable the human spirit is the human spirit is very very powerful but it's also extremely vulnerable it's also extremely frail and the moment I told myself I could just relax I can let go everything is good it sounds nice English mock but I may be making a very profound mistake because that Yeats a horror that wants to kill me whatever form he or she takes on maybe one foot away two feet away three feet away it's like if somebody has a diabetic problem it's under control they eat healthy they eat only kale and spinach 24 hours a day they exercise daily there's no obesity maybe it's so under controlled perhaps they don't even have to take insulin perhaps or they do after when they take insulin and everything seems good he feels healthy she feels healthy the symptoms of diabetes that can often be devastating and horrendous seem to be gone in this person's life the worst mistake that sometimes people make is because it looks good everything is good and when they're sitting at a condition they see a wonderful beautiful piece of cheesecake they right away dig into it because I feel great little do they realize that you always have to know that there's a condition and the condition I have to be aware of and be in control of and on the contrary them as long as I do that I can be happy I can be wholesome I can be accepting this is the reality and this is what I have to take care of it's not a tragedy the moment I tell myself no I have to be perfect I have to be in a situation where there's nothing to struggle with and I can't stand the fact that I have something to deal with that I have a struggle that's when ultimately I sometimes become defeated because the deep inclination that some of us have when will come the day that I won't have to deal with an AHA Farish when will come the day that everything will be clear and I'm a high and easy and serene that's the day I want to go into denial and then I don't have anymore the resources or the means to actually deal with it and this is true and every single person's life a person who has a heart condition doesn't mean that their life is doomed it just means they have to know they have a heart condition and the day they forget it and they make believe they don't have a heart condition is the day when kalila their heart condition actually can take over their life and literally yes and and damages sometimes irreversibly loyal a new so therefore and each person's life there is this concept of never confuse the silent relaxation the serene waters on the surface with the undercurrents with the rage on the bottom of the sea not because it's a mitzvah to be depressed or to bring up toxicity or to make problems when there's no problems but out of the honesty and their awareness of what I'm dealing with what is going on in my reality and therefore what I always have to be vigilant Evan if I'm having an unbelievable few weeks or a few months or a few years a few days a few hours or in some cases few minutes the Kumari says me Reuben me the toy ever made me the peroneus positivity is always more powerful than negativity sometimes it looks like negativity is more powerful than positivity but that's not the case positive positive energy is always ultimately more powerful than negative energy if this is true in the negative sense it's so much more so in the positive sense what does this mean very often a person could look at their life and they see that when they were young they were very innocent they were wholesome and then at some point in life they took a certain turn consciously or unconsciously willingly or unwillingly and they made a lot of mistakes in their life again it could have been willingly it could have been completely inadvertently and even if it was willingly it was without understanding what they're doing maybe a lack of maturity a lack of weirdness a lack of depth a sense of desperation or simply using the only tools and resources they had to know and then they come to a later point in life when you wake up one morning and you're like oh a Volvo what have I done or what have I not done and this is true about so many lives where people make mistakes and sometimes profound mistakes we make choices we engage in certain behaviors in certain patterns and every person that many people in their own way there's no need to be very specific here because with each person it can manifest itself in a wholly different way sometimes things that are internal external are both of them maash of Adeeb or mices a whole mythos whatever it may be and when the person emerges once again they feel very despondent they feel hopeless they feel in the spear five years wasted ten years wasted 20 years wasted 30 years wasted not only wasted sometimes damaging etc comes the tiger and says muhib America Schrader Scheuer harsh Raiders who buries showeth he lost a rod cipher our Crusaders had a few years when he was the kindest guy in the world he was delicious to the Jewish people there was a messiah he was the promise he was the dream king for the Jewish people comes the Magill and says that's on the surface on a deeper level I want you to know who buries Shamus elusive Sofer his core was one of wickedness his core was one of immorality and therefore now politically it made sense for him to be on the side of the Jewish people don't think it's an transformation in essence I look how he treats Esther look how he treats Mordecai look what he did with Harmon look how he treats the Jews I know it works for him wonderful great take the ball and run with it but don't become deceptive don't go into a loosen a shion's and this is true about Jewish history Jews were living in Germany for hundreds and hundreds of years they were more German than many Germans the simulation rate and success in Germany was incredible the same in Spain and other places in the world and then from nowhere almost things were metamorphosize to the opposite extreme that's in the negative but the same is true in the positive every person when they're born what are we saying the morning la kinda shamash anisotropy Tahiry the soul that you have imbued with in me is pure to higher in the language of Zoya doesn't mean pure it means light to hero means light and Aramaic it means light it's pure but it's full of light it's part of the divine light it's part of divine infinity so therefore when you look at yourself you have to know just like you say a harsh mater to Akash vanish you have to know that a Jew is a Jew is a Jew who but Citgo enmity law say about cypher even if a middle of a person's life a person goes through different Vista toots and the turbulence and rollercoaster of life is very very extreme turbulent and fluctuating and therefore I may end up in places that later I will regret never ever should a person think that this undermines obliterates and destroys the essential wholesomeness godliness holiness sacredness purity and connectedness of the soul I in the middle there were a few years with a person had a break where there was an interruption that interruption is an external interruption it's not an interruption that changes and alters and contaminates and ultimately breaks the powerful kedusha the holiness and the oneness and the purity and the happiness and the sacredness and the wholesomeness the seamus of the human soul and of the jewish soul so just like you say back Hershberger's who bury shemitah la savate sci fi notwithstanding what happens in the middle the same is true also in the positive sense sometimes it's a few generations somebody sent me an email yesterday today a woman sent me an email she got married she grew up in a very nice religious Jewish community she got married and she fell prey to certain behaviors that were she described not so let's put it this way not so just so she asked me at the end of the letter these were her words have I been knocked out of infinity so I wrote back to her your and your question already contains your answer you don't have to write to me the way you phrased your questions so eloquently contains your answer you asked have I been knocked out she tells me that she calls a rabbi to find out if she puts a grape or a raspberry in her salad does she have to make her aides on the grape or the raspberry in her salad when it comes to issues of profound morality in terms of relationships and intimacy the situation is very wanting so she feels that she's out of the Jewish nation she's not connected I might have been knocked out from infinities I said your question is your answer because the definition of infinity is what's infinity infinity means that it exists in every place and in every situation there's no space devoid of it so if you're dealing with infinity he can be knocked out of infinity if it's really infinity can be knocked out of it what you could do is you could not allow yourself to experience the infinity you can eclipse your awareness of the Infinity but you can't knock yourself out of the Infinity whenever it says in commish when mysteries are nefesh ima Amer that a person sometimes does things and it cuts off a soul from God so the ballot Angela could deteriorate or Shoshana says that all of chorus and the whole Tyra only addresses the level of yaacov of the soul not the level of you sir all of the soul and every soul his two levels this is what's called Yaakov and he story has two names Yaakov comes from the word acre which means the heel you sir all's learish which means my head the way the soul is manifested in the heel the meaning the way the soul is manifested in the conscious body of a human being a person could be cut off because consciously they're not connected to infinity but in the core of the soul it's actually our kidomaru hood it's completely one with Hashem there's nothing that a person could do or not do that alters and damages and destroy is that essential relationship and therefore for our affairs to go back to his richest doesn't have to reinvent himself he just has to go back to his natural self for a person to go back to their happiness and wholesomeness and confidence and joy and optimism and purity they don't have to reinvent themselves they have to simply sideswipe they simply have to ignore the distractions that disconnected themselves from themselves you have to go back to who you really really are that you were always that then you will always be that on an external level perhaps on a conscious level there were some years or some experiences that took you away from it which this concept this idea sheds light on another component in the first open in the first chapter of the Megillah and one of this in the opening story of the Megillah which is also extremely strange we focus in the first verse when you look at the first chapter of the Megillah you have a story about a crush radishes party in detail which at first glance the whole thing seems superfluous it says he was a king and after three years he decided to throw a party beautiful and who is the party for all of his noble men and all of his ministers and all of his servants and all of his troops and all of the governors that were under him all of the provinces and how long was the party for a hundred and eighty days that's half a year a year is 365 days 180 days is literally almost a half a year so here you get a glimpse of a man or half a year to go it 180 years of party I'm sorry hundred and eighty days of party now some of you some of some people are party animals you know but you may know some of them weekends weekends like about a hundred and eighty days straight and the purpose was one to show off as wealth and its glory and his preciousness he would think after 180 days of drinking it's time to relax you would think you would have had a hangover and he needed a vacation comes the Megillah next to Qatar don't even think so Ben Lewis a young man male he finished he said now we just have to have a party an alcoholic once told me I said how do you deal with hangovers he says you drink you don't stop drinking you never get a hangover a hangover is because you become sober he says if you never stop you nothing and a hangover you would think a harsh way - after 180 years would stop days Freudian slips comes the Megillah and says no he made another feast for seven days and this is for everybody the whole nation in Shushan with me Gordo vodka Tong everybody bahut Sardinas vasana mela in the courtyard in the orchard and in the house of the king as the gomorrah says and Magilla gorilla hut set hut sorry lagina again our area those are belong in the court he had sections in the court that was one type of party that they did the arts and crafts in the so that another type of party they they had the bar and in the house that who the party they I don't even I wasn't invited to that part of the party I only had a pass to the first two if it's not enough then the Megillah now has to describe to us the materials that were at the party who car passed haleyss ah who's Bhagat heavily boots Varga manag Lily SF vow moody Shh and we have to know the beds meters overhead sir for each bus bad but rage with darvocet chorus we have to know the goblets were hashed Christmas plays of the Fela McCallum's showing in VN Makarov Giada Mela in English translation there were spreads of that were spreads of white fine cotton blue turquoise embroidered with cords of linen and purple on silver rods marble columns couches of gold and silver and a pavement of green white shell onyx marble and they gave them to drinking golden vessels and the vessels different from one another royal wine was plentiful according to the bounty of the King the drinking was according to the law with no one coercing this is what the King ordained then everybody and then Vashti did this album aye sir and here the person who's reading the Megillah wonders it certainly tells us does this man like to drink no question it tells us that the guy liked the party it's so so important because this is why he was drunk and smashed and inebriated and he summoned Vashti to appear in her full glory and Vashti who had her own party because she oh say at the party refused to come and we all know the story how ultimately her husband the King had her executed and as a result of that he went into a depression and they told them it's time to bring in a new queen and ultimately esther is brought into the palace and he becomes and he chooses her as her queen so later when hummin issues forth his decree the chess pieces have been set for the anaya for the nullification of the Edict of the royal decree to annihilate the Jewish people but for that you could you say one line or two lines I mean why don't you tell me where Vashti born where our heritage was born how Akash marriage became king if you want to tell me the whole history can go back and back and back what's relevant is that Esther became the queen you want to tell me how Esther became the queen you could say there was a party and Vashti betrayed her husband then he killed her you want to say some details of how she betrayed him you could say details is it really important for me to know what type of marble and linen he had decorated he was decorated as dining room with it's interesting to see what a good party was like but the fact that it makes it into the town option to the Megillah why does the Megillah feel the need to describe in so much detail the exact components of what the feast looked like after a hundred and eighty days this is the last feast of the last seven days let my knife come in he made a big party he was drunk his wife was drunk right the Casal said the Pacer no house all said the Purim her kuipers Kayla's boots our government a mood they changed the types of couches and beds the types of goblets why is this relevant in Tara and the Megillah and to fulfill the Mitzvah program you have to read this chapter - I can't ignore this chapter to say let's get to the crux of the story you won the story of Purim you have to go to through this whole party and you have to know every type of linen that exists every type of linen and the embroidered fabric that was used at this feast and one of the explanations to this is that with this the Tanakh the Megillah is conveying a very powerful lesson in life and the lesson in life is learned from marcus raiders just like the previous lesson is learned for my fresh radish and that is it can just be to tell you that our fresh radish was a drunk that could have been very brief and concise the turret of the tanaka tries to teach a lesson about how a person has to live their life after serve a dish isn't is given kim a biggish spits tears they saying either he was not a very wise man in fact the Gemara says the man was Malakoff - he was a spineless person which is why one day he was on this side and the other day he was on this side which is why Martha sky was so concerned with him the man didn't have principle there was a Jewish comedian who once said he said listen to me I have principles in life and if you don't like them I have other ones it's before him there's always other principles it's fine as Churchill once told somebody in Parliament said everybody is for sale the question is how much some people 100 bucks some people 100,000 bucks some people that take yourself a little more our hutch managed was a mother how he was a man who was spineless which is by the way the psychology that hummin employed and the same psychology even more brilliantly that Esther employed who once gave a shear Vandana Shiva dotnet on poor him I think a few years ago what was the psychology that Esther used in transforming her husband she understood who he was and therefore she created the whole story in order to be able to accomplish what had to be accomplished to save her people very rich therefore is not seen in our sources in a very very sublime fashion and you could see from the description of the party and has stored the whole story about him who he is and nonetheless we learned from him one thing and what do we learn from him Akash Schrader's knows that when you throw a party you have to do it right Akash Reyes knows you don't do things according to other people's capabilities you do things according to your own capabilities for him the essence of life is feasting 187 days those are his priorities or his agendas or his joys or his distractions whatever you want to call it alcoholic there was a Shakur grew up I grew up in his neighborhood he once told me all of us drink because we try to drown our sorrow our sorrow we failed to realize that sorrow flaw it's not bad for an alcoholic is it ready - I love - he was the real thing so whatever it is film his priorities is distractions but will you learn from my crush vanishes he never does things in a small way so you it says I'm there's no certainty let's get it over with I believe in throwing a party we're gonna do it for a half a year straight no weekend breaks no Memorial Day president date is no weekend breaks we're gonna feast for 180 days if that's not enough we're gonna feast for another seven days and I'm not gonna serve it with a few dishes some knishes and jalapeno herring and some little hot dogs with egg rolls and I'm not so I'm gonna decorate I'm gonna bring in somebody and put in a few lights and make a nice decoration the Megillah describes in detail her Ellicott say those who belong in the culture and in the game and the Beeson and the who are in the carpus and the sailors and the table votes and the glue adhesive and the meters over her surf and the types of goblets and every goblet had to be of golden there had to be different sizes so that you should be able to drink exactly according to your capacity what's the Megillah trying to say if I tip like a cash managers the Gemara calls a melech tippers it's not my own expression if a fool like akash reyes understood this is how you have to live the Tanakh is also giving a lesson my ruble made the toy over in the positive sense in a productive sense in a godly sense in a meaningful sense how a Jew is supposed to live one of the greatest mistakes people make in life is they short-circuit themselves they underestimate themselves they live lives that copy other people and they base it on other people's capabilities relative to this person I'm doing well you come and they learn from Irish parishes don't underestimate the tremendous capabilities of your own life don't compare yourself to other people's potentials you tune in to the full majesty and the full grandeur of all of your talents resources capabilities spiritual physical emotional psychological mental and social abilities and live life to the fullest carpe diem seize the day don't allow mediocrity fear insecurity to suppress your talents to stifle your creativity to crush your energy to dampen the depth of your soul even a tea person done idiot and a spineless Akasha vanish understood you're living do it we Siddhartha's I'll live life to the fullest most people live lives of quiet desperation Akash raiders decides if I'm going to do it I'm going to do it right then right means according to my potential not according to somebody else's potential so many people live their lives according to other people's potentials why are you comparing yourself to other people's potentials you know you have a voice inside of you you have a career inside of you don't let even one percent of it be stifled don't squander ever any component of your psyche it was a gift given to you of its Khayyam says we say in their shoe Shalom of Sunday from tehilim we say Dovid mr. lovscheim our similarity volition me Allah by Hashem welcome concoction who will climb scale the mountain of Hashem and who will stand there Nikki hop I am a person with clean hands speaking about politicians by relieve of a person with a pure heart I shall learn a soulish of naath she Berlin Isabella Maremma he didn't carry my soul in vain and did not swear deceitfully what does I understand clean hands pure heart he doesn't swear the seat he doesn't lie what sir shall I know so Arshavin off see he did not carry my soul in vain every single person was given a soul if my soul has a skill or talent that I do not maximize and utilize I'm carrying my soul in vain I shall learn a soulish of nafsi every person has an infinite peace of God that was given to you was given to me was given to her was given to him and no two are the same this is my music that only I could play nobody in history before me could play this music and nobody in history after me could play this music and if I fail to play my notes I am carrying my nefesh I'm carrying my soul in vain and my soul looks at me and says why don't you do with me what you're supposed to do with me why are you allowing fears or insecurities or past events or trauma not to realize and discover how you can live fully your life according to your design and your potentiality learn for my hydrators for heaven's sake look what a party he flew in his life mainly perhaps your tastes are much more developed than our estimated perhaps our tastes and life should be more fine tuned more honed more subtle than our Spanish but whatever it is may rubra me the timer for sure culture chemical Homer in your party in your party and your fees that you could throw in life don't allow smallness don't allow Katniss don't allow pettiness and smallness to define your course sometimes people make decisions in life and the entire decision is based on such petty calculations and 15 years later this person is still not speaking to his sister-in-law this person is not speaking to their mother to their brother to their brother-in-law to their nephew you will ask why because something happened at a husana 22 years ago my husband was supposed to get a brush under the hook he didn't get the brush under the hopper 22 years later these two families are on speaking terms Koran shows are not to talk to each other and you look at a person and you say zoals I and somebody did something wrong how can you allow the course of your life to be defined by pettiness by smallness how can one who is so big live their life as though they were so small rebar and columnist said the greatest tragedy in life is the greatest tragedy in life was when a prince the size that he or she belongs in the slums the greatest tragedy in life is when I believe that I am belong in the slums and I live that way and then I analyze exactly what type of slum I should be in and I start decorating my slums I turn it into a whole philosophy the mid Madrid the Alka tree money tells a story it's quite a story about a man named the voice I use Railly you remember from your days in bass yakov you remember the story of a new voice hi user Ailee there was a king a cough his wife's name was he's evil she was a bigot Satsuki than he was there was a Junaid in the voice and he had a beautiful vineyard it was a glorious vineyard one day a cough comes home and he's depressed his wife says why you in a bad mood so he says that he really would love to acquire the vineyard of no voice so she says offer barb make him an offer that he can't refuse he makes him an offer and a voice says kalila never this is a property that I inherited from my ancestors all the way back to the generation that came into the land and the Torah was not very approving was not very fond of those who gave away their or states of the holy land because these original estates were organic they were organically connected to the souls of the different strata that's why you're evil every feel that to go back to its original owner you couldn't make the sale in aerosol and the first base I make there's more than 50 years it was very interesting there's no such a thing as real sales it was a lease for 50 years you will have to go back because the pieces of land and I Jarrell are organically connected to the families that were settled there divided by Yahshua be known when they came into the land so the voice tells AK of no way I'm going to sell my vineyard or from me whatever you want this is my vineyard so is evil who was a my Schafer's your grandmother would say a real one tells out of what's the problem and she orchestrates a heinous crime she has two witnesses testifying falsely that in the voice cursed the king which has a death penalty and he's killed and if you're if you're executed because of rebellion against the king the king acquired your property and now forgets the vineyard and that's when a leo the prophet of the time a larger comes to a cough and he tells him those three famous words Haaretz after the gam your Rasta you going to murder and then inherit and as a result is Evelyn a hvar punished very very heavily with a bitter end to both of them both the husband and the wife the king and the Queen alcove and his ever that's what the Tanakh says but the Madras which always needs to give us the harmony to the melody because in Judaism that can every this the melody and then there's the harmony does the song in this domine so the text is always the song and the Med which is the harmony so the major tasks granted alcove and his ever were wicked but why didn't the voice lose his life the alkyd sharmini gives a fascinating answer and the answer is that the voice had an exquisite voice he had one of the most extraordinary voices of the generation now remember this was a time when the Jewish people were split between mouths you see who their mouth is stalled in northern kingdom in the southern kingdom there were two tribes that remained loyal to the kings of of the descent of the family of King David from the tribe of you hooda most of the tribes the ten tribes were under Mouse LoCicero the king that split away from the family of David which began with Yerevan benefit and it's this split that ultimately weakened the nation and caused the destruction the ten tribes were exiled and they assimilated we still don't know where they are and the two tribes remained under malluci hood that one of the things your album did was he didn't allow people to go to the base--emitter dish he created two golden calves by him and Don and bear Sheva he wanted they should stay they didn't want them to visit you shall I am because that way that's where the competitor was the voice had an extraordinary voice every column are you there was a mitzvah for Jews to go up to the base ma just three times a year Pesach Lewis and suckers every one of the three of them tie them and the voice would hold a concerto on the Hara bias on the Temple Mount by the base of McNish and this was the attraction for thousands of Jews to hear a concert from The Voice on pace exclusive just like they have now since Christmas Eve concerts so he would do a syrup asexual circus concerto with a symphony by the bass emitted by the Hara bias and his voice was heavenly he was the talent of the generation so for decades he would travel and this brought even Jews who otherwise wouldn't go because of the heavy politics and strife but they came to the base to make this because of him after so many years and the voice tells himself one day you know what it's time to go on vacation it's time to retire every pace of true asuka's i have to go to the arab is the base emitters i want to remain remain on my my comfortable couch in the dining room Takas gaffney vitarka stay now see under my vineyard and under my fig tree i had enough years of service to the jewish people enough years now it's time for me just to sit back relax enjoy the show comes young to theft they know now finish the meal plop down on the couch and in the few minutes before I fall asleep I'll sit with my magazine or whatever he sits with and enjoy myself and I could walk a few steps I don't have to sit with thousands of Jews on a tight mountain and a tightly submitted match the wish to pursue you're like a sardine it's not it's not ba ba ba Tosh something about this and that was a tea quit he said I didn't off any quit so the rebuy nurse and Milam says I gave you your soul was given to you with this special voice in order to inspire a generation you finish doing this it's time for your soul to go back to its place so I shall an ocelot shovin Algeria I didn't carry my soul in vain this is one of the great one of this more but one of the great ideas that the Tanakh is trying to bring up with the first chapter of McAlister how many people look back at their lives and if you would ask them if you could redo it what things I've read a very interesting book somebody a nurse who was in a hospice interviewed dozens and dozens of people before they left this world about regrets of life people in their 80s and their nineties people who were younger but are very ill and it's fascinating to read what people write at the end of their life when things are much more clear and there's less distractions and nobody's busy and think set in with a certain maturity and it's incredible to read what people say if only I could have redone it and do it differently the baal shem tov in fact once said what's the difference between GaN Eden and Gehenna what is paradise and what is purgatory some people think you go to Gehenna there's a big barbecue waiting for you and you're gonna be throwing into a pot of hot water but of course a soul is not physical so physical hot water a physical fire doesn't relate to a soul all these descriptions of Jahannam are metaphoric they're parables I know some of you were taught otherwise so I want to calm you down a soul can be affected by a physical fire you're dealing with a spiritual soul you're talking about metaphor so you have to understand the metaphors so one of the ideas one of the ideas the baal shem tov once said said it in his own words i'll put it in my own words as follows when we come to when we face truth there's a printout google prints out for god this was even before the days of google but now it's already easier because google does it prints out your entire life story you know google walks around with you wherever you go it's impossible today to have a private moment and therefore i wrote a very similar homage circa be safe in october it's not the Seifert's on the computer but it's somewhere nifty and you're given a printout of everything your whole life and the baal shem tov says a person is showing a printout or shown let's say a video a video there's a monitor and they show you a video of their entire life but there's two videos one video is what my life looked like the other video was with my wife my life hooda i my therapist is gonna be very busy today my therapist is gonna be very busy today i think i have to ask him to give me an extra hour well one is what my life looks like one is what my life could have looked like and the baal shem tov said something incredible for some people looking at those two videos is a sense of paradise and for others it's an experience of hell seeing the contrast seeing the comparison in fact antonov the term used for Jahannam is oil oil tactus the word soil means the abyss the grave down deep down but the word soil comes from another word which word shuttle borrowed the definition of purgatory is that I live a borrowed life why do I live a borrowed life taxes show all taxes because I believe I'm on the bottom because I believe I'm on the bottom I have no choice but to borrow somebody else's life how can I live my life when my life is so mediocre when I'm such an idiot when I feel that I'm so foolish I'm so stupid I'm just a stupid girl a stupid boy I'm just a I don't deserve anything Who am I to be happy to be wholesome to be connected to be powerful to be gorgeous to be successful to have an impact to where my practice I'm on the bottom so I borrow other people's lives Oh your life is good let me borrow let me borrow your kitchen let me borrow your dining room let me borrow your looks let me borrow your bar mitzva let me borrow your simcha let me borrow your napkins let me borrow your family let me borrow your personality let me borrow your jokes let me borrow your human let me borrow your behavior on one level consciously or unconsciously that's what Gahanna ms in a deeper life in a more real life a person realizes that your life your soul is infinite it's a helical a commie Malm amish it's a piece of divinity God doesn't have to copy anybody you don't have to copy anybody God is not embarrassed with himself don't be embarrassed with yourself yourself is a piece of God you are a princess of our Shem you are part of the light of our self and therefore in each person's life what I always have to ask myself is not how I'm compared to somebody else what I have to ask myself is I'm I being true to my true potential and my true purpose in throwing my party of life whatever my party looks like for a drew a party is different than a freshman interest party but the Gemara says in a Riven hi Alma kebaya lula da mia this world is like a wedding cut over Hulka touristy grab and eat grab a drink what's the definition of a wedding why a wedding so the Baal Shem Tov once said a wedding is an interesting thing a wedding is one of those things in life you prepare for six months so you would have three years you'd appear three years if you have two months you've appeared two months for how long couple of hours but in the wedding itself what's the most important moment in the wedding in the hoop itself what's the most important wedding the key Buddha me give this guy that guy that guy one moment nobody even sees it it's usually the video guy also misses it because of somebody's screaming in the back he puts the ring on her finger it said I read that's just Li but a bow is like an oscillation be sure which should take around three or four seconds if he knows the know stuff even less so the whole wedding five hours six hour with a reception but the Cibola spawning with gowns with pictures with flowers with bars which I don't have to describe to you those who have you made weddings months before and then they're paying the house for what one moment and sometimes people miss the significance of that moment at that moment people are else with this one is stressed and this one is overwhelmed sometimes the closest people to the Hudson and Carla at the wedding are not present too much they're not present sometimes guests come this one talks about the food this one talks about the Viennese table this one talks about the galas talks about the music but then the couldn't they missed so the baal shem tov says that's prophetic Lamar says hi Alma ki beti Lula da Mia this world is like a wedding there's a lot going on in this world and you could miss the point you could miss then it could is a lot to get distracted with and it's good things to get distracted with pictures are important and the right head pieces are important in the right table what is it called what are they put on the table centerpieces are critical and how many pieces of sushi by the caballes poem is Pico I'm a fish mama SH for all the Jews who come hungry etcetera etcetera but then it could I could miss the ability of oneness the unity between the Hudson and the Carla the experience of da cos the oneness with Hashem then the food of the wedding a person misses that's the heel Ummah of the Jewish people I look up a little diamond and when it comes to that Naqada person has to ask himself I got a am i throwing the party that I know how to throw I'll tell you something I once heard from a Habad Shelia how about ambassador who went to a big community and accomplished an enormous amount he went to a secular Jewish community he built a shrew a mikvah a preschool a Talmud Torah school a high school a mikveh a camp literally the infrastructure of of Jewish life of terror life and the school was extremely successful with hundreds of children it was something extra literally a miracle of miracles a transformation from one extreme to another extreme that could have not been possible without the work of individual and the person shared as follows I have to say this is not for the light-hearted but it tells you about the power of when you believe in humans in with the power of believing in people he was once by the Lubavitcher ever and they never told them as follows if in your town there are 99 thousand Jewish children and you're going to build another school and another school and other school and you're going to enroll in your school's ninety eight thousand Jewish children plus nine hundred and ninety-nine children so you'll have ninety eight nine nine nine children in your school's live your son the leviathan you're gonna get the biggest piece as a reward sure a bar that big famous bulldog anita mushiya comes not from agry the real sugar bar you're gonna get a big piece a llama ha ha you're gonna get the Gemara Mishna says every child is gonna get shinu Doyle illumise you're gonna have three hundred and ten worlds as a reward for what you did in terms of spreading Internet and educating Jewish children GaN Eden in this world Canadian in that world oil um Hobbit Shire Loomis Levias Anantara by a but the slickness ha Standish table guitar but your mission you didn't fulfill because one child was left behind the Schlick is sustenance table guitar now one level you could look at it there's like come on cut the guy slack but that's only if you believe that people are finite if you believe in the true ability of a person if you understand that the true power of a person is infinity then not to tell that to you was actually dripping you off it's depriving you of what belongs to you not to tell a person about their crisis is not being kind to the it's being cruel to them and it's true in our life sometimes we're successful with this and with this and with that but that one child a I did so many things Lavie Olsen you're gonna get turn it up and you're gonna get Olam haba is secured you have the best place front row it's not always good because you have to listen but that I live up to fulfill my flu that's not always so a person could say all nice and goods but you know how many issues I have I got too many issues I'm still in shock this this we go back to hush wash wash wash that's why it's the opening pasta if you look at yourself essentially as damaged goods then you're right you just try to survive if you realize that to call yourself damaged goods is the greatest crime and declaration against humanity what damaged one damaged wholesome wholesome Olsen perfect beautiful pure powerful confident happy and optimism LMI for a certain point you may have been distracted of who you really are you may not know you really are different circumstances derailed you familiar Illya but when you understand that Akashi very - Akash managed in the positive sense then you make sure that your party is one that will be remembered have a wonderful week and a Fralick Emporium to all of you this class is brought to you by the achieve Annette please help us continue the classes make even a small contribution at triple w dot they ueshiba net / donate