What Does Hashem Really Want From Me?

The Yeshiva.net So first of all, it behooves me to express my gratitude to my dear friends, Rabbi Remi and Rifky Klein. When I went to visit them during the Shiva for their daughter, whose fourth yahrzeit It's the fourth yahrzeit. Whose fourth yahrzeit is today. Malka bas Avraham Shalom, zichrona livracha. And I heard Malky's story from her father, her mother, some of the siblings who were there, and other relatives and friends. It touched me as it touched so many of us in very profound ways. And I think the work of Malky's parents, both during her physical life and in the subsequent years, as she spiritually lives, created a tremendous awareness and became a catalyst and springboard for an expanded consciousness by so many parents, educators, principals, teachers, rabbis, and just acheinu bnei Yisrael, our brothers and sisters the world over. And it's a privilege to be in your presence, and it's a privilege to address this evening dedicated to the loving memory and legacy of your unforgettable daughter, Malka. May she continue to serve as an eternal source of inspiration, of light, of blessing, and love to her parents, to her entire beautiful family, to all of us, and to all of the Jewish people, until that great moment when all of our tears will be transformed into joy and eternal celebration. Bikarov beyamenu, amen, ken yehi ratzon. So this morning, we davened the mussaf of Rosh Chodesh. It's a beautiful mussaf if you're not in a rush. If you're in a rush, then nothing is beautiful. You're just in a rush. But if you're not in a rush, it's a beautiful mussaf. We'll have the opportunity to do it again tomorrow. And there was words over there, and as I was davening mussaf, maybe this is a machshava I guess it's a machshava zara I guess because I know I was speaking tonight, maybe that's what triggered those thoughts as I was davening mussaf. But I'm sharing it with you. This is I guess levels of machshava zaras. This is for my better machshava zaras. We talk to Hashem and we say, Ahavas olam tovi lahem. Uvris avos labanim tiskor. We ask to Ribono shel Olam, we ask God, bring them, bring the Jewish people, ahavas olam. Ahavas olam. The love of olam. Eternal love. And the covenant of the avos, the covenant of our fathers, remember for the children. What is the meaning of these words? What is the structure of this sentence? What's the connection between the two parts? How do you even translate ahavas olam? Olam means eternity, like olam vo'ed. But olam also means the world, the world. Rebbe Aaron Nachum said, ahavas olam ma'aftone is the world, ahavas olam, the love of the world. So what's ahavas olam tovi lahem? Give them the love of the world. What's the love of the world? The question is, how much love is there in a mother's heart for her children? Anybody? Okay. A Yiddishe mama says, there's infinite love in a Yiddishe mama. I'll stick to my career, don't worry. There's infinite love in the heart of a Yiddishe mama. And that's to one child. And how much love is there in the heart of a mother to two children, kinainahora, three, four, five, etc.? It's infinite infinity times infinity. How much does that add up to? And that's in one mother. Now bring me all the mothers of the world. Bring me alle mamas from der velt. How much love is there? Infinity times infinity times infinity infinite times infinity. And the fathers also are not chopped liver. How much love in the heart of all fathers? Kerachem av al banim. So how much love is there in the world at any given moment? How much love is there in the world? Ahavas olam. How much love is there in the world at this moment? In the entire world, in the entire planet. And what about if we consider also the past? Not just the world today, but we go and we view the world not only horizontally, but also vertically. And we go past generations, your parents and your grandparents and your great-grandparents, all the way to the first parents. And in the entire world, how much love are we talking about? So we tell Hashem, ahavas olam tovi lahem. Bring them. Give them. Show them this love that you have to them, which is ahavas olam. All the love that exists in the world. And all the love that exists in all of the generations. Uvris avos labanim tiskor. It's also talking to us. The type of love that parents have to children. And I say this to you because I'm looking around at the crowd. I'm looking at the audience. I have, baruch Hashem, the privilege of speaking to Jewish and non-Jewish audiences the world over. Since Corona, we adopted the slogan of gam zoom letova. But till then, there was a lot of physical traveling. This is one of the first big events post-Corona. Baruch Hashem, we're back together live. Sheves achim gam yachad. And every audience has its unique flavor. Why they're there. Why are people Why Why do people come to a lecture? Why do people come to a shiur? Why do people come to a seminar? Why do people come to a workshop? And you always have to know before you while it opens their mouth, you have to know mit vemen redst du? Who's in front of you? Lemi eilav fanacha? As Yaakov said, lemi eilav? Who are you talking to? And when I ask this question, why is everybody here? And there's one answer, and the answer is captured by one word, and that is love. Ahavas olam tovi lahem. Uvris avos labanim tiskor. How much love, Ribono shel Olam, is there in this room? Only God knows, and only you know how much love vibrates through your hearts. How much it's the love in your souls that allows you to continue day in and day out some dealing with uniquely excruciatingly painful situations, with roller coasters, with ups and downs, sometimes impossible to describe in words. Another person who hasn't been through it can't even relate to it. They can't even believe you when you talk to them. They think you're exaggerating. You know that feeling when your relative comes to your house for Shabbos, right? And after Shabbos, they sit down with you for a meeting, and they explain to you how you're doing everything wrong. Anybody had this experience this? And then they go to your mother, and then they go to your mother-in-law, and then they go to your sister, and then they go to your rov, then they go to your mashpia. Then they go to every brother of yours, and they explain to you how nebach this crazy indoctrinated couple has surrendered to the stupidities of 2021. They lost their marbles. What happened to good old education that's so successful in our home? I see the smile of identification and empathy, so I'll continue. And you know, there's a voices in you that get very angry. And you want to scream and holler. Yes, and some of you do. Which is fine. Rebbe Yom Tov said before, the way out of the pain is through the pain. Very good. The women were listening. The men closed their eyes and had a schlaffer for an hour and a half, right? I'll make a schlaffer and say to you again. Not a bad arrangement. A rabbi once asked me, he was a big shot. He said, "Reb Yisrael, you travel around the world. What's the most important thing to have in a shul?" I said, "Comfortable seats." He said, "Why is it when you give a drasha?" I don't know what kind of a copper ruin. They had a hard week. They had a hard week. They come by Hashem, you speak long. It's a great opportunity. The chairs have to be comfortable. It's always good to listen to feedback. But, you need to get feedback from people who are empathetic, who are appreciative, who are sensitive, who are nuanced, who are knowledgeable, who understand what you're going through. And what gives you really that resilience? And the answer is ahavas oilam. It's just love. There's an incredible story about the holy Reb Mottel of Chernobyl, the Chernobyl Maggid. I saw at least one of his grandchildren here earlier. Dr. Twerski. The Chernobyl Maggid, Reb Mordechai of Chernobyl. Oh. Okay. His last name was Twerski. He was a son of the holy Reb Nachman of Chernobyl, who was a student of the Baal Shem Tov and the Maggid. And Reb Mordechai Reb He's known as Reb Mottel. Reb Mottel of Chernobyl, Reb Mordechai of Chernobyl, the Chernobyl Maggid. It's an amazing story about him. Motzei Shabbos, Jews suffer from what I call PSS, post Shabbos syndrome. It's a difficult situation. The Jewish soul is somewhat melancholy. The neshama yeseira leaves. That's why we smell besamim. That's the reason why Jewish communities Motzei Shabbos came a night they have to buy pizza. Why do you have to buy pizza Motzei Shabbos? Why do you have to go out? And why can't you just stay home like you do on Tuesday night? And the answer is cuz there's a void that sets in when Shabbos leaves. And there's a You need to fill the void. Now, the truth is the void does not be filled through pizza. Won't even be filled through bowling. The void that's missing is filled through other ways, but that's not our topic tonight. And different Jews had different responses to how they dealt with Motzei Shabbos. Reb Mottel of Chernobyl, would go out on a journey with a few of his chasidim, a few of his talmidim, a few of his disciples. They would get into a coach, into a wagon, led by a few horses, and they would go out to see God's world. It was already night time. Chernobyl is surrounded by big forests and wildlife, and they would go on a journey Motzei Shabbos. Here out, so to speak. One Motzei Shabbos, they look at Reb Mottel of Chernobyl as on the wagon. A few of his students are with him. Now, those of you who are familiar with horses, know what is the scariest thing for a horse. One of the scariest things for a horse is to encounter a wolf. Never mind a pack of wolves. You know, right? Okay. You're nodding. Huh? Okay. You remind me, you'll forgive me. There was once a rav, he got up to speak, and the guy right in front of him was going like this, and then like this, and then like this. And it was a 2-hour speech. And he kept on going like this. And the rav was very impressed. He agreed, then he had a question from Tosafos, and then he agreed cuz he had a raya from Rashi, then he had a question from the Maharsha, then he had a raya. So, after 2 hours, the rav comes over to him and says, "Wow, you look like a gaon oilam. Could you become my talmid?" He said, "Actually, I didn't understand a word you said." So, he says, "Why were you going like this, like this, like this?" He said, "You can't hear? Maybe uh you can make the mic a little louder." Huh? Can you understand him? So, a bissel besser? Okay. Thank you. So, he says, "I'll tell you the truth. Ich hab gehabt a buck. I once owned an old goat. It had a lange beardel, a long beard. And it got lost. And I've been searching for it. Suddenly, you get up, and you open your mouth, and I say, 'Yeah, das ist der buck. This is it. This is my old goat.' Then you say something else, and I'm like, 'No, my goat was much more intelligent.' Then you say something else that wasn't so bad. I'm like, 'Yeah, I think it's my goat.' And I'm going back and forth, back and forth for 2 hours. You are my goat, you're not. And that's what I was doing." So, the rav says, "What was the conclusion?" He says, "The conclusion was, 'A buck bist du, aber nicht meiner.' You're an old goat, but you're not mine." A lot of lessons to the story, but you'll figure them out. You'll use your own imagination. In any case, when when horses see a pack of wolves, it's extremely scary for them. Either they go aggressively wild, they escape, they flee, or they freeze, paralyzed. And suddenly, the horses carrying the wagon, the coach of Reb Mottel of Chernobyl, come across a pack of wolves in one of the forests surrounding the Ukrainian city of Chernobyl. And naturally, the horses come to a halt, and they freeze. And the chasidim who observe this sight are panicking, because they know that their life is in danger. Nobody knows what can happen now. The horses can attack, the wolves can attack. Reb Mottel gets down from the coach. He walks in front of the horses. And he opens up his his his coat, his his his frock, his kapote, whatever he was wearing, opens up his shirt. He closes his eyes. And he goes into a dveikus, to a meditation, to a trance for a few minutes with his closed eyes. He opens his eyes, and the wolves start approaching him. One by one, each comes over, lifts up its head close to his heart, sniffs, and leaves. And after each of them does it, they leave, and the pack of wolves disappears into the thicket of the forest, and the horses come back to themselves, and the journey moves on. And Reb The Reb comes back into the coach, and the chasidim look at him. And as good chasidim, they say, "REBBE, MAMASH A MOFES. MAMASH A MIRACLE. MAMASH A MIRACLE in front of our eyes." He says, "Nah, it was no miracle." They said, "What were you doing there?" He said, "It's very simple. Animals respect the tzelem Elokim in people. Animals are sensitive. They don't have our toxicity, traumas, yetzer horas. You ever see what an impala does after a cheetah attacks it? It shakes for a minute. It releases the trauma. AND THE CHASID AGAIN BACK. RIGHT? Doesn't carry it around for the next 45 years. Animals sense the tzelem Elokim, and they're in awe. But, they have to sense the tzelem Elokim. They have to sense the image of God in you. How do they do that? The holy Reb Mottel of Chernobyl said, "They smell your heart. If they feel hatred in your heart to anybody or anything, it means that I am not my heart is not anymore a mirror of God's infinite love. But, if they smell my heart, and they sense that there's only love there, they know that I am a reflection of the Ribono shel oilam, and then they are in awe. So, I opened my heart. I exposed my heart, rachmana litzlan, and I closed my eyes for a few minutes. I had to make sure that there is not a vestige of hatred in my heart. There's only love. And when I opened my eyes, the wolves came over, they smelled it, and they went away in peace and tranquility." So, Reb Mottel says, "It's not a miracle. It's just the way the world works." As you know, the deepest miracles are the miracles that are not miracles. But, they're the miracles of people, of people's behavior. So, I am privileged to be in a room of hearts that have worked hard to cleanse themselves from negativity, from hatred, from bitterness. And I know that the journey is not over. And I know that the journey has not been easy. Some of us grow up, and we become very judgmental people. You remember how you were 20 years ago before your kids educated you? Remember? 5 years ago, 2 years ago, you remember the judgmentalism? You know, when you ever you read these comments from these young mothers about how to educate kids, you ever see these comments? Huh? They're like married with two They're married, had two kids, baruch Hashem. One is four, one is one, and they explain to you how to mentor these children. And you nod. You're like, "Amazing. Beautiful." Ahavas oilam ta'avah. Judgmentalism is so much is so Judgmentalism could be woven into the very fabric of my being. Dismissiveness, bitterness, comparing children to each other. The toxicity of asking, "Why can't you just give me nachas?" You remember that word, nachas? Huh? We'll soon talk about about what nachas means. It's a good important thing to Well, Shamteve was born in the world in the year nachas. So, he can tell us what nachas is. "Why can't you just make our family look perfect? Just for the pictures at least. Just for the Sheva Brachas. Just for the bar mitzvah. Just fake it." As a father once told me, he's probably not here, but hopefully he'll be here this year, next year. He told me, "Rabbi YY, you think you think it's relevant to me what my son does on Shabbos or he doesn't do on Shabbos? That's his own business. The most important thing is what he wears on Shabbos." And he described to me what he wants that to look like. I said, "Interesting. You should rewrite the Aseres Hadibros. Shayshes yamim ta'avod v'asisa kol melachtecha uvayom hashvi'i, you should put on this and this garment and cloak." Somehow God had a different approach, different perspective. He says, "You don't understand community." I said, "I do understand community. That's why I'm telling this to you. You got to grow. You got to grow. You have to develop. It's a tough journey, you know what? It's a daily journey. That reason I say that every morning before davening one should say Hareini mekabel al lay mitzvas asei shel vi'ahavta l'rei'acha kamocha. Every morning, I said it yesterday. Why do I have to say it today? Because intuitively I fall back into the place of judgmentalism, of dismissiveness. And with my closest people, with my loved ones, even more judgmentalism and more dismissiveness because so much more disappointment and so much more pain. So, I for one, I feel it a great schuss and privilege to be in a room of people who are challenged, not by choice, I know that, who are challenged by the workings of divine providence to work on yourselves, on ourselves, every single day. And the fact remains that the greatest the greatest educators, everyone is asking, "Who are the great educators of Klal Yisrael today?" And the answer is, our children. Our children are the greatest rebbe's, the greatest rush. You can applaud, you can applaud, it's fine. I don't mind. I wasn't talking about me. I was talking about my kids. I'm not the teacher, I'm the student. The greatest pedagogues. It's funny, they don't have PhDs in education. Who taught them how to educate their parents so skillfully, so effectively? But they are. The last words of the last prophet before nevu'ah ends, people don't realize this. The last prophet of Klal Yisrael was Malachi. The beginning of the era of Bayis Sheini, the last sefer of Tanach. Chagai, Zecharyah, Malachi, the last of the Trei Asar. It has three chapters. And what is the last What are the last words of the final prophet when the era of prophecy comes to an end? Hinei anochi sholei'ach lachem es Eliyahu Hanavi lifnei bo yom Hashem hagadol v'hanora. V'heishiv leiv avos al banim v'leiv banim al avosam. Say Rashi and other commentators, he will help bring back the hearts of the parents through the children. And then the hearts of the other children through the parents. Wow. The end of the last nevu'ah, which means the gates of acharis hayamim. Nobody should think that this is a mistake. Nobody should think that this is just some random catastrophe. Nobody should just think it's because of the Kool-Aid you have been serving at dinner. Rather, there is a process of awakening. There is a process of arousal, of resurrection, of rejuvenation, of awareness that is emerging now. The fact remains, and you can ask every therapist that's dealing with children today, that all the trauma and anxiety and stress that has been repressed for the last 2,000 years is now emerging. It's a fact, and nobody knows why. What happened? We live in the most comfortable era in Jewish history, despite our challenges. We live with the most prosperity in Jewish history. Even the poorest among us are far wealthier than the wealthiest in previous generations. Your great-grandmother and great-grandfather could not dream of the amenities, of the freedoms, of the opportunities that exist today. I'm not belittling tragedy and illness and loss and suffering. But if you look at an era at a tkufah, you're talking about incredible incredible blessings and opportunities. Where is this anxiety coming from? Where is this stress coming from? Where? Where? It's a great question. I don't know the answer. But perhaps, moments before the geulah, the navi says in Daniel, yisbareru v'yislabnu v'yitzorfu rabim. There's going to be absolute purification. For the world to be able to enter into the moments of male'ah ha'aretz dei'ah Hashem, the earth will be filled with divine awareness like water covers the three seas, we all have to extricate from ourselves the final vestiges of traumas and toxicity that don't allow us to live in a world of freedom, of emancipation, of oneness, of infinity. Even those small blockages that in the past were not noticed, today are being noticed because as nistayemah avodas habirurim, as the avodah of birurim comes to an end, every last vestige of negativity is being spit out, it's being vomited. If not by us, by our tiny kinderlach. They're saying no to hypocrisy, no to negativity, no to dishonesty, and they're challenging us to confront our own skeletons, our own demons, our own darkness, our own golus mentality, our own enslavement to our own fears and our own insecurities, so that the people who are emerging are filled with so much luminescence and so much brightness and so much purity. And that is why I feel so privileged to be in the presence of you, fathers and mothers, the contemporary heroes of the Jewish people, who every single day exude exude this ahavas olam. Tav l'hoilam. And I want to ask you a question today. I want to ask you a question. This question bothered me when I learned it in yeshiva. And you know how you ask when you're young, you ask those good questions, and usually you're told, "It's not for the classroom. It's not now. When you'll get older, you'll understand." Or we don't ask these types of questions. They're usually the best questions, and they're never answered. Lo oilam vo'ed. Well, here's one of them. It's the opening Rashi of Vayeishev. I don't know Every year I learned it, I still don't It always bothered me. Vayeishev Yaakov. What does Rashi say? Bikesh Yaakov leishev b'shalvah. All Yaakov wanted was to experience serenity. For heaven's sake, the man was not 32 years old trying to go on vacation. He was over 100. He doesn't deserve a bit of shalvah? What do people do in America when they turn 100? Yeah? Not everybody. They once asked a 106-year-old woman, they interviewed her, "What's the advantage of living to this age?" And she said, "Less peer pressure." So, I I bless all of you to be like 106. Get rid of the peer pressure. Yaakov wasn't Yaakov was a zaken. He was really a zaken. More than kuf, more than me'ah shanah. RIGHT? BIKESH YAAKOV LEISHEV B'SHALVAH. And what do you think shalvah meant by Yaakov Avinu? To lie in a hammock in Palm Beach and drink pina colada and and read the Wall Street Journal? What do you think Yaakov's shalvah looked like? What was serenity for Yaakov? Serenity for Yaakov was yoshev ohel, b'veisa v'shneisa, to sit in the radiance of the Ribono shel Olam. To learn in a blatt gemara mit ta'osfos. Whatever the version of Torah was in the time of Yaakov Avinu. That was Yaakov's b'shalvah. So, what did Chazal say? Kafetzah love rugzoi shel Yosef. So the wrath, the pain, the anxiety of the story of Yosef jumps on him. Hashem says, "It's not enough what they have in Olam Haba. They want shalva in Olam Hazeh, too." Who can understand this? How do you relate to this? Fargenish Ribono shel Olam. Fargenish Yakov Avinu leyshev b'shalva. The man went through purgatory. As he said later, "I had so many tzaros." He had tzaros Esav. He had tzaros Lavan. He had tzaros Rochel. He had tzaros Dinah. He went through a lot. Life was not easy for this man. BIKASH LEYSHEV B'SHALVA. NO, KAFETZAH LOVE RUGZOI shel Yosef. It's almost like we can't tolerate it. In Yiddish we say farginnen. I don't know how to say it in English. There's no word for farginnen in English. It's a shvartze farginnen of English, huh? A Yiddishe zich a mach shvartze farginnen. In In Hebrew they made a word lifargen. Fargen fargen. I like my Hebrew, but fine. Lifargen, okay? Fargen became lifargen. At the loya chola fargen et Yakov Avinu. MA YISHPAT SHEYEHE YISHUV B'SHALVA. In fact, in some Midrashim it sounds like because he wanted leyshev b'shalva, therefore kafetzah love rugzoi shel Yosef. Now, even if he doesn't deserve this great shalva, so we have to go to the other extreme and have his beloved son, the Rochel's legacy, get kidnapped and Yakov and sold in slavery and Yakov thinks he was devoured by an animal. 22 years he's separated from him. He says, "I'm going to go down to my grave sobbing." Airedel b'nei Avil sh'oilah. I mean, even if there's no shalva, fine. You don't want to do what he wants, but we have to go to the other extreme. And as I grew up every year when I learned this Rashi, we learned it every year in cheder in yeshiva and uh it perturbed me. When I was 14 years old, it was parshas Vayeishev taf shin mem vov, the end of 1985. I grew up in the Crown Heights section of Brooklyn and I had the privilege every Shabbos to hear the long fabrengens of the Lubavitcher Rebbe. And even though I was young, I remember when the Rebbe asked this question. And I'm like, "Finally, wow, somebody's asking this question." But as Chotoyani maskir hayom, I thought to myself, "How you going to give an answer to this question? Come on." Whatever you say, you know, as they say the the kasha is better with the teretz. The Rosh Yeshiva of Mir was Reb Nochum Partzovich. So he once So a bochur told me that he asked the question. So the bochur gave him an answer. So Reb Nochum says, "Ich hob a bessere entfir." The bochur said, "Vos?" "Tzurech eiyum." I have a better answer. The answer is I don't know. Much better answer. But then I heard the Rebbe give an answer. The answer took around an hour. He said it with a lot of passion and a lot of pain. And I was 14. So I heard the words. I felt that there is extraordinary depth being conveyed here, but I can't tell you that I understood anything he said. But today, who altman this is mem vov, nun vov, sameach vov, ayin vov, today, 36 years later, I still I'm not going to tell you that I understand what he said, but maybe a little better. Just a tiny bit better. And I'm sure some of you will understand it in a much deeper and acute way. But I'm going to tell you what I heard that Shabbos as a 14-year-old boy and it remains etched in my memory till this very day. I could still see the scene Shabbos afternoon. The Rebbe very emotional and in very obvious you could I could sense the turmoil, so to speak, in his voice saying this. Turmoil together with deep clarity and conviction. Of course, it was in Yiddish. I'm not I'll share I'll share the words in English, but I wanted to share that idea. And I'm plucking out I think 3 minutes from around approximately an hour or close to an hour. And he said as follows, "You have to read the Midrash differently." And I'm going to tell you just tell you it was difficult to hear it. It's difficult to say it over. But it's probably one of the profounder things I heard in my life about pain. He said, "Bikash Yakov leyshev b'shalva. Yakov wanted serenity. Kafetzah love rugzoi shel Yosef. We understand it as two separate things. Yakov is looking for shalva. He wants a good life. He wants a geshmaka life. He wants a tranquil life. WHAT DOES GOD DO? WELL, NOT ON MY CLOCK. Not in this world. Sorry, Yakov. Can zich gain koach fun nachas God. Not here. Kafetzah love rugzoi SHEL YOSEF. I GOT OTHER PLANS. Life is going to be miserable. Life is going to be filled with agony and pain and angst. That's how we understand it and even if you want to sweeten it up, you know, for diplomatic purposes. But ultimately, HE WANTS SERENITY? BOOM! LET'S SEE. The Rebbe said WE'RE MISREADING THIS WHOLE Midrash just like we misread hundreds and thousands of statements in Tanach, in Gemara, in Midrash, in Halacha, in Seforim till today. It's one of those statements we just misread. We need a new reading. Bikash Yakov leyshev b'shalva. Yakov wanted shalva. So God said, "I'll give it to you. I'll give you shalva. That's what you want. That's what I'm going to give you. Kafetzah love rugzoi shel Yosef. And that's why Yakov experienced the story of Yosef. And I could still hear my Rebbe saying, "Zei tzvei sugei shalva in lebn. There are two types of serenity in life. There is serenity the way we define it and there is serenity the way God defines it. And those two states of serenity are very different. We define serenity from very, very limited human terms. What does serenity mean for me? Serenity means for me, as somebody once told me, "All I'm asking for is to come home to a hot dinner. All I want is to be able to come home Shabbos, sit at the table, hear my kids say words of Torah and sing zemirot, eat some cholent, kugel, kishke, kugel kartoffel, kasha varnishkes for cholesterol, mit a por kreplach, and then take a long Shabbos nap." There's a Yid. He was a chashuve Yid. He wrote a sefer on the Rambam. He was a a chashuve Yid. He came from the Litvak, big talmid chacham. So he has a sefer on the Rambam. So I read his introduction. His introduction says, "I want to tell you what type of Olam Haba I want." He's writing an introduction. He says, "I want to go into a room. Outside be full of windows. Outside I should see snow, 4 feet of snow. It should be freezing, 10 below zero. But inside the room should be warm. I should have a shtender, mit a Vilna Shas, a Gemara on a shtender, and a thermos to make hot tea. To stand by the shtender, to drink tea, to learn Gemara, watch the snow, but inside it's warm. That's my Olam Haba." Gevaldig. Everybody has What does the perfect family look like for you? When you got married, remember? Remember? Anybody? And you thought of what's life going to look like, right? And they always tell you. WHAT DO THEY SAY? ERLICHE Yiddishe doidus mit nachas un brocha un hatzlacha. And you imagine that beautiful perfect family. A chassidishe mishpacha, a Litvishe mishpacha, a heimisha mishpacha, a frumma mishpacha. WHATEVER YOUR DEFINITION OF SUCCESS IS. BIKASH YAKOV LEYSHEV B'SHALVA. AND WE'RE TALKING ABOUT JEWISH SHALVA. We're talking about good shalva, healthy serenity, holy serenity. Kafetzah love rugzoi shel Yosef. But there's a different type of shalva. Not the serenity that I can ever imagine. Not the serenity that I can expect. Not the serenity that I can prepare for. Not the serenity that I ask for, that I anticipate. It's a different type of shalva. It's the serenity that comes from the awareness that I am a conduit for God in this world. It's a serenity that touches the infinite essence of your soul, which transcends my mind, it transcends my heart, it transcends my faculties, it transcends my definitions of what a successful life is. It's the serenity that comes when I can look at life and say, I will ask not what God can do for me, but ask what I can do for God. Ask not what my children can do for me, what I can do for my children. Ask not about my expectations of what my house was supposed to look like, but what is my mission in this world? It's a different type of serenity. It's the shalva that allows you to touch the infinite of the shalom that transcends our finest. It transcends our way of understanding and defining reality. It's the serenity I cannot wrap my brain around with. It's the serenity that comes with deep pain and a lot of grief and a lot of tears. Going into reality, surrendering my ego, surrendering my expectations, and just allowing myself to be embraced by the infinite transcendent love that is infinite. It's a different type of shalva. It's not one that the human being can even grasp or identify. It's those STORIES IN LIFE THAT MAKE you something you could have never thought you will ever become. IT'S A SHALVA THAT comes when I completely go out of my own inner definition of what it means to be a human being or what it means to be a Jew. The Rebbe once said, TOLD HIS BROTHER BEFORE HE'S READY TO SAY WHAT DOES HE SAY? REMEMBER? I'd see you. I'd see you call my lord. Take out every man from here. And not every woman. What does he mean? You call my lord. SAID THE REBBE, I'D see you call my lord. AGAIN. TWICE. I'D SEE YOU. I'D SEE YOU CALL WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE OUT EVERY LIMITATION OF THE HUMAN VOCABULARY. THIS was not on a REGULAR HUMAN LEVEL. DON'T GET DEPRESSED. THIS IS HUMAN? YOUR BROTHERS ABUSED YOU. YOUR BROTHERS TRAUMATIZED YOU. YOUR BROTHERS PLUNGED YOU INTO A PIT AND SOLD YOU INTO SLAVERY. FOR 22 YEARS YOU SUFFERED. AND NOW YOU TELL THEM, DON'T GET DEPRESSED. Because you DIDN'T SELL ME. I WAS SENT. I WAS NEVER SOLD. I WAS SENT. I WAS A SHLIACH. AT THAT MOMENT I SHALL SAVE. TOOK THE JEWISH FAMILY OUT OF YOU CALL MY LORD. IT TOOK THEM OUT OF THE CONFINEMENTS OF A MORTAL HUMAN BEING AND IT PUT THEM UPON HIM WITH SOIF. IT PLACED them face to face with infinity. Some of you know exactly what I'm talking about, even if you can't put it into words. The journey that you have been on with your children or with your child has been one that the only way to cope with it is by not coping with it. Because if you cope with it, you can't cope with it. It's by embracing a whole new definition of reality. I'd see YOU CALL MY LORD. THE LORD IS TOY. BECAUSE OF THE LORD OF THE LORD. AFTER THE STORY OF JOSEPH, nothing was ever the same. This is shalva? This is shalva? HE LOST HIS SON. HIS SON WAS IN THE PIT. TODAY WE call it a pit of addiction, a pit of depression, A PIT OF DESPAIR. AND WHAT DOES SAY? HE WILL NOT find closure. What does he say? You could find closure on somebody who's dead, not on somebody who's alive. say I'm a mess. People said is dead. And says, not my Joseph. My Joseph is not dead. My Joseph is alive. There's always the experts who say he used to stand in front of the mirror. He was the black sheep of the family. Let's face it. Everybody was in finishing shots for the eighth time. And Joseph He's dreaming. He's dreaming. He's going to become the chief economist of the Egyptian superpower. The sun and the moon are going to bow down to him. The black sheep of the family. You got 11 sons who did well. Don't complain. 11 when the conveyor belt you got them through elementary school, high school, valedictorian, by soda, by the noise by the name is Maria. I want to cover all the demographics. You know, we don't discriminate here. We got it all. OKAY, YOU HAVE 11 KIDS. He's a killer. He's a 50. He's a Shiva. He's a founder of he's the founder of Judaism. He's the founder of Israel. He's the kiss of him. You got one kid, fine. says you don't know my child. He's alive. He's not dead. The Joseph. The whole family was reshaped. They couldn't rely on the old paradigms of the family. The old paradigms only were working. Joseph and his brothers did not get along. There was division in it was THIS CHALLENGE THAT DESTROYED THE FAMILY. AND ANY NORMAL PERSON WOULD LOOK AND SAY, GOD, WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY FAMILY? SAID THE REBBE, THIS WAS what produced a different type of shalva. It's a different type of shalva. It's not a shalva I ask for. It's a shalva that allows me to transcend the confinements of the human ego and to become a channel for infinity, to become a channel for the soif, which operates in its own unique inimitable way. It's what I told Esther we spoke last time. Me and she got us. Why was Esther plucked out of her family? What type of serenity is that? Why does a loving God allow that? AND SAYS, ME WHO KNOWS? WHO KNOWS? THESE ARE NOT THINGS THAT ANYBODY UNDERSTANDS OR KNOWS. THIS IS NOT THE SHALVA, THE SERENITY THAT I CAN WRAP MY BRAIN AROUND AND TELL YOU THE TRAJECTORY AND EXPLAIN TO YOU HOW it's going to happen. THIS HAS TO ALLOW ME TO OPEN MYSELF UP TO ME YEAH, WHICH IS WHY OUR SAGES MADE A MIX FOR THEY DIDN'T make any other time of the year, which is odd the other. Being free and happy when I could not know. NOW I ASK YOU, HOW CAN NOT KNOWING MAKE ANYBODY HAPPY? THE HOLIDAY OF THE HOLIDAY WHEN YOU KNOW. WHEN YOU KNOW, THAT'S NOT HAPPINESS. Cuz what do we already know? What's the story? What small what can I make happen? What could somebody who's made fake? What do we if it's about my knowledge, what do I already know? We can't even figure out a cell. We can't even figure out an atom. We can't even FIGURE OUT A NEURON. A NEURON WE CAN'T FIGURE OUT AFTER 5,000 YEARS. WE CAN'T EVEN FIGURE OUT A VIRUS FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE. The size of 125 nanometers, 300 MILLION PARTICLES OF THE CORONAVIRUS YOU COULD FIT ON A PENCIL ERASER AND WE CAN'T FIGURE OUT ONE OF THEM. WHEN YOU GO INTO now you're a free man. THANK GOD. I DON'T HAVE TO WRAP MY brain around it. You don't have to wrap your brain around it. The Joseph. And when Joseph was reunited with his family, I was in a different serenity. The best years in Egypt. It was a different it was a different family. It's why it's still here today. It took many, many years, many, many years. By all of us it should take much less than 22 years, even though likes to say decades, decades. He likes to think about decades. I don't know if he's here. It's a different type of shalva. When Yakov was reunited with the family with Yosef, Yosef as a prime minister of Egypt saved the whole world from hunger. And then Yosef looks back and says, "Aha!" So, Yosef wasn't thrown into a pit to be buried AND DESTROYED. YOSEF DIDN'T GO ON THIS JOURNEY BECAUSE GOD WANTED TO TORTURE ME AND DESTROY MY FAMILY. YOSEF IS THAT BOY WHO BROUGHT LIFE TO THE JEWISH PEOPLE. YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES IN LIFE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU were buried. The truth is you were planted. You weren't buried. THEY THOUGHT THEY'RE BURYING YOSEF. YOSEF SAID, "I was never buried. I was planted." It says when they threw him INTO THE PIT BOY AIN'T BOY MAYIM, THERE WAS NO WATER. WHY IS THAT RELEVANT? There was no mikveh there. But boy AIN'T BOY MAYIM BECAUSE YOU CAN'T PLANT SOMETHING WITHOUT WATER. SO, HOW COULD YOSEF be planted if there was no water? But the next verse says that Yakov didn't stop crying. And the tears of Yakov were the waters that irrigated the plant. So, that when he was transplanted from Israel to Egypt there was a lot of water to irrigate that plant, the belief of a father in a child. Even when it seems like the child is in the pit. Yosef becomes that person who saved his entire family. And then Yakov could say, "Ah, wow God, this is a serenity I could have not imagined. This is not a serenity of the vocabulary of Hebrew." This is not the language of Hebrew. It's not the language of Hebrew. It's the language of the Torah. And I want to say to all of us to be successful in this mission you have to stop using the vocabulary of humanness. The vocabulary of humans. You need the vocabulary of the Torah. It's a different vocabulary. It's a different paradigm. It's a different perspective. It's the one of Torah. And there are two conditions. Condition number one I have to be ready to confront all of my own insecurities. One of the greatest psychologist of the last generation was a man named Dr. Carl Jung. Carl Jung was a student of Freud. Sigmund Freud, whose real name was Freud. And Freud was surrounded by a bunch of Jews, but Carl Jung was the token guy. He was the Gentile. They used to say that Freud with his could have had a minyan for every day. The problem is the only one who would would be Carl Jung, who wasn't Jewish. Carl Jung was interviewed at the age of 80. I saw the interview myself, and somebody asked him, "Where did you get your teachings from?" And he said, "The foundation of all my teachings come from an 18th century Jewish master by the name of Rabbi Dov Ber, the Maggid of Mezritch." He's one of the greatest psychologists of the last generation, non-Jewish. He died in the 1980s. Carl Jung once said, I say this because I want to quote him. He said something very profound. And this too you'll find teachings of the Maggid and of Torah. All of Torah. Carl Jung says if you ever want to change people it always depends on what one thing. How much you're ready to change yourself. The change I effect in people will only reflect the change I created in myself. It reminded me of a word, I think it was the Maggid of Ropshitz or one of the other masters. He said, "It says in others the fear of your teacher the fear of your teacher should be like the fear of heaven." It's a tall order. Fear of your teacher should be like the fear of I have to have awe for my teacher like the awe of Hashem? So, the Maggid said, "It's not a commandment. It's a prediction." Listen to this. It's a brilliant word. Fear of your teacher should be like the fear of Hashem is not telling you what to do. It's telling you a reality. Your fear of your teacher will be exactly reflective of his fear of Hashem. Fear of your teacher is like the fear of Hashem. Your teacher will just be a mirror. His own fear of Hashem will be reflected to you. As deep as his fear of Hashem is that's how deep your fear of your teacher is. As deep as the change I am ready to make in myself that's as deep as the change I will be able to make in any one of my my students, my my disciples, my children, my loved ones, my friends. In this work of the Torah shalva I need to be able to confront all those things that I was not ready to confront, and let's face it. Our children challenge us daily to become those people we would have never become. Yes, you would have all been great mothers and great fathers. All of you. I know it. I could see it. But that's greatness in your vocabulary. That's the shalva that you understood, that you anticipated, that you read IN THE ABOUT. SOMEHOW GOD CHOOSES certain parents and children TO INTRODUCE INTO ISRAEL A DIFFERENT TYPE OF SHALVA. AND IN ORDER TO OPEN MYSELF UP TO THAT, I HAVE TO GRADUATE EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT ME. AND WHO WANTS TO DO THAT? WE ALL HAVE A COMFORT ZONE THAT WE LOVE TO HANG OUT IN. MY COMFORT ZONE, IT'S MY SECURITY, it's my safety ZONE. IT'S WHERE I LIVED FOR SO MANY YEARS. IT'S WHERE I GOT MY VALIDATION FROM. THAT'S WHAT THE COMMUNITY KNOWS ME AS. THAT'S WHAT MY PARENTS KNOW ME AS. MY SIBLINGS, MY COUSINS, MY RELATIVES, MY MY FAMILY. I'M SUPPOSED TO FIT IN RIGHT THERE. I WAS PART OF THAT JIGSAW PUZZLE OF OUR FAMILY. ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL FAMILIES IN BORO PARK. I mean Williamsburg. I mean Monsey. I mean Lakewood. Okay, Crown Heights. I don't mean to pick on anybody and exclude anybody, God forbid. All our dear guests from Israel who are gracing us. We were the family. Monroe. Thank you. Thank you for the love with which that was said. And let's face it. The Torah has a big question about them. Who are they of? Are they of Israel or are they of God? Are they of the Torah? Do they work for us or do they work for God? And one of the proofs the Torah brings and the brings it in is what happens if I make a vow that I do not want to benefit from a priest. I will not have a FROM A PRIEST. THERE'S ONLY A PROBLEM. I HAVE TO BRING A SACRIFICE. AND THE ONLY PRIEST WORKING TODAY IS A PRIEST. IS HE ALLOWED TO BRING MY SACRIFICE OR NOT? What's the law here? Huh? Yeah. Why? A priest is not my servant. work for me. He works for the Torah. He's not doing me a favor. I don't pay him. Well, we do pay him through but I don't pay him. He works for the Torah. Hashem says a Jew has a sacrifice, you do it. Each one of you from all of THESE COMMUNITIES ARE OF GOD. CHOSEN BY THE TORAH THROUGH THESE children to bring a whole new awareness to our schools, to our communities, to the Jewish people. And now you're still saying, "God you could have chosen my neighbor. She's also a wonderful lady, wonderful lady. In fact, she's much better than me because not only does she have 12 kids, she's also a principal of two schools, not one school." Good question. And on this I'm going to quote good old Mordecai the righteous. Until you know. Why Yosef? Why Yosef? And the answer is until you know. This is something that fits. All my capital is locked in capital. But if I am not ready for that transformation in myself, I cannot create that transformation in my children. And that transformation is a daily avoid a daily battle for transcendence, a daily battle to graduate all forms of egotism, all forms of pettiness, all forms of narrow tunnel vision, and to open myself up to a different vocabulary, a different definition of shalva, the shalva of the Ribono It also means that ability to open myself up to my children in a new way. Rabbi Chaskel Abramsky zecher tzaddik livracha Rabbi of Lutsk the author of Chazon Yechezkel he was exiled by the communists to Siberia. I believe for 3 years, maybe more, in the 1920s. Rabbi Chaskel Abramsky later moved to England, and then in his last years he was in Eretz Yisrael. He was the Chief Rabbi of London, and then he actually passed away in '76. Rabbi Chaskel Abramsky, when he left the Soviet Union, he went to visit the Rebbe Rayatz, the sixth Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak. They were very close. They worked closely together back in the Soviet Union. In fact, in the documents of the Rebbe Rayatz, there was a nickname for Rabbi Chaskel Abramsky. It was called Tosefta. Because he wrote on the Braisos, Chazon Yechezkel and Tosefta. His nickname was Tosefta, because in Russia you couldn't write the name. That was his nickname in the telegrams, the documents. They still have many of them. Tosefta. They would write Tosefta wrote to them, "Tosefta was sent to the hospital." Which meant Siberia, Stalin's Gulag. Code language. Rabbi Chaskel came to visit the Rebbe. I saw this in his biography by one of his children writes that he heard this from Rabbi Chaskel. And he said to the Rebbe, "There was one day in Siberia." And he was talking to his inmate to his fellow inmates. Now, most people didn't survive Siberia, the cold, 70 below zero, the typhus, the malnutrition, the slave labor. Stalin killed close to 50 million of his own people between 1924 and 1933, when he died in March 1953. And most of them, or many of them, in the Gulags in Siberia, the slave camp slave slave labor camps. And Rabbi Chaskel said they were talking, and everybody was lamenting how difficult their lives were. Everybody has lost so much. And there was terrible angst and pain. And he said the next morning he woke up, and as was his custom every day, he said, "Modeh ani lifanecha melech chai vekayam shehechezarta bi nishmati b'chemla. Thank you, Hashem. You returned my neshama to me." And then Rabbi Chaskel tells the Rebbe, "I stopped, and I asked myself, why am I thankful? This is called life? Dos is lebn? No wife, no children, no food, no money, no siddur, no tefillin, no Shabbos, no Yom Tov, no shul, no Jews, no health, NO DIGNITY. GARNISHED, EVERYTHING YOU CALL LIFE I WAS TAKEN AWAY FROM ME. VOS IS THE MODEH ANI? WHAT AM I THANKFUL FOR? I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I'M GOING TO LIVE ANOTHER 3 months." This was the question that came to me. And then I continue saying, "Rabba emunasecha." And Rabbi Chaskel tells the Rebbe, "I said to myself, that's the answer. Rabba emunasecha. The ability for me to be able to have emunah right here, right now, that you're with me, and that my life has a purpose. Rabba! Dos is genug! RIBONO SHEL OILAM, YESH LI ROV! RABBA! THIS IS ROV! IT'S GREAT! IT'S AWESOME! IT'S ENOUGH TO BE ABLE TO SAY, 'AH! MY LIFE IS AWESOME. MY LIFE IS GREAT.' And rabba emunasecha, GREAT IS YOUR emunah in me. That I will be able to have emunah in you. This is enough." You know what the Lubavitcher Rebbe told them? I guess you have to be a Rebbe to say this. I wouldn't be able to say this. He said, it's very emotional what he said. "A mol is kedai zayn drei yor in Sibir kedei tzu zogn az a vort." Sometimes a person is sent to Siberia for 3 years to be able to say such a vort. To be able to bring this truth into the world. But what was the truth he was saying? A person sometimes looks at their life. What is going on? I don't see the purpose. I don't see the meaning. Where is this leading to? THIS IS SHALVA? THIS IS SERENITY? THIS IS TRANQUILITY? THIS IS GOODNESS? RIBONO SHEL OILAM, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? This was Gedaliah's title. Ah, here you are. My wife looked at the title. She said, "Wow, that's a good title." Zi hot gemeint az s'iz mir. Un ich hob zich geherchert, ich hob nisht gezogt emes. What does Hashem want from me? What's the modeh ani? What am I thankful for? Rabba emunasecha. The ability to be able to hold on at this moment and say, "Even if I can't wrap my brain around this, I am going to hold on tight and know that I wasn't sold, I was sent, and that every single moment I am fulfilling part of the purpose for which my soul came down into the world to bring light and goodness and clarity and holiness into this situation." There's a Sifrei. The Sifrei says on the pasuk, "Kel emunah ve'ein avel." Moshe Rabbeinu says in Haazinu, "Kel emunah ve'ein avel." Hashem is a God of faith, and there's no avel, there's no iniquity. What does it mean Hashem is a Kel emunah? He has emunah? He has emunah in himself? So, the Sifrei says, I quote, "Kel emunah ve'ein avel, shehe'emin b'oilamo uv'vor'o." He believed in his world and he created it. What's the shehe'emin b'oilamo uv'vor'o? Look around the world. Do you believe in the world or you don't believe in the world? It's so easy to stop believing in the world. Kel emunah, shehe'emin b'oilamo, he believed in his world. DESPITE THE DISAPPOINTMENTS, DESPITE THE FAILURES, DESPITE THE MISTAKES, DESPITE THE UPS AND DOWNS, KEL EMUNAH, HE WON'T STOP BELIEVING B'OILAMO. RABBA EMUNASECHA! GREAT IS YOUR emunah in me, giving me another day. You believe in me, even during those days when I don't believe in myself. THAT'S THE RABBA EMUNASECHA. SOMETIMES I WAKE UP AND I SAY, "I DON'T BELIEVE IN MYSELF ANYMORE. THIS IS BEYOND ME." But the Ribono SHEL OILAM SAYS, "NO. SHEHE'EMIN B'OILAMO, I STILL BELIEVE IN YOU." AND HOW DO YOU KNOW HE STILL BELIEVES in you? Because the mission is not over. Look at that beautiful child, and you know the mission is not over. That means he believes in you. He believes in me. When I don't believe in myself, I have to be able to say, "God believes in me, and God believes in my ability to be able to expand my consciousness, to flex my psychological and physical and emotional and spiritual muscles, and to believe in each one of those children, to be able to see the light, to be able to see the beauty. Shehe'emin b'oilamo uv'vor'o, to be able to see in them what they may not be able to see in themselves. Rabba emunasecha, just for this emunah, IT WAS ENOUGH. DAYEINU, FOR THIS HE COULD HAVE GIVEN BACK MY soul today." YOU SAY, "BUT WHAT'S GOING TO BE? WHAT'S THE TACHLIS?" JUST TO BELIEVE IN THAT CHILD. RABBA, THAT IS ENOUGH FOR WHICH MY SOUL CAME DOWN TODAY. Just to cultivate that incessant emunah and conviction. NETZER MATAI MA'ASEH YODAI LEHISPA'ER, that he or she is a boy or a girl that GOD SAYS, "I BOAST IN THIS CHILD. I brag. Amzu yatzarti li, tehilasi yesaperu." Their very existence, their very creation, already tells my story. It tells my praise. The etzem metzius of a Jew, the very reality OF A JEW WITHOUT ANY STRINGS ATTACHED, already bespeaks the presence of the Ribono shel oilam. Kvod shamayim, that very experience, that very existence. The Shulchan Aruch says, the Mesillas Yesharim says in Mishlei, "Al tochach leitz pen yisna'acha. Hoche'ach lechacham veyohevecha." Don't rebuke a leitz, a scoffer, a cynic. You know why? He's going to hate you. Give mussar to a chacham. He's going to like you. As the Shulchan Aruch, excuse me, if he's a hachem, what do you have to give him mussar? If he's a hachem, why do I have to give him mussar? He says, no, it's the same person. It's talking about the same person. I can go over to a person and say you're such a letz. You're such a bitter, miserable, traumatized, sick, cynic. Right? And I even have your diagnosis, by the way. Al toycha lates. Don't go over to somebody and say you're such a letz, you're such a loser. Penias nacha, all you'll do is you'll have them hate you more and distance themselves more. Hoycheach l'hachem. When you speak to them, can you see the hachem in them? Can you see the sage? Can you see the purity? Can you see the wisdom? Can you see the depth? That's how you speak to them. Via havecha, that's how you create closeness. This is how the shulal interprets the pasuk. The helekesh kalina said, yeshaya novi says daf toyra of shmois haboyim yashresh yakov, yotzei tzu farach yisroel. HABOYIM YASHRESH YAKOV. Yakov comes down and takes root in root build and plants roots into Egypt. YOTZEI TZU FARACH YISROEL, and then yisroel grows and blossoms. The helekesh kalina said there's a deeper interpretation. Yotzits. Yotzits means to gaze. Meitzits min hacharakim. Right, seeing. Yotzits. He says sometimes you look at a child with a negative gaze, with a bad eye, with an ayin ra. Yotzits, make it as a sharfa cook. I look at you and I say, wow, what a disappointment to my mishpacha. You know what he says? Ufarach yisroel, the yisroel inside of you flies away. That's when I lost my neshama. Ufarach yisroel, the yisroel inside of me flew away. Because I failed to be a mirror of the hashkafa of the ribono shel oilam. Shehemen. B'oilamai uborei. Rebbe primishlana. One said something. I don't know, I couldn't say this, but this is what he says. Kapital nun alef of tehilim, some people say it every night. Lamnatzeiach mizmor l'david. B'voy elav noson hanovi. Kasher bo el bas sheva. This is the song of David. When Noson came to him after he was together with Basheva, and you know that kapital. Chaneini elokim k'rov rachamecha m'cheif shoi. T'chapseini t'gail not tzomes d'kisa. Joy, you bring joy to the bones that you crushed. Leiv tahor b'roli elokim, make me a new heart. Create for me a pure heart. It's a mizmor filled with remorse and regret. And teshuvah for what happened with Basheva. Asher may primishlana, why does it say lamnatzeiach mizmor l'david? What's the song? Was zinkter? Was zinkter? You know the mice with the report card. It didn't happen to any fathers here, but it happened to one father. This kid came home with a report card, yeah? He got dalid minus on everything. Everything dalid, gemara dalid minus, chumesh hey minus, k'sais mana zayin minus, homework test minus, attendance zero zero zero zero, yeah? Dancing and singing, alef plus. So the father looks through the mark, then he comes to the dancing and singing, alef plus, and he starts giving the kid a frask, frask frask frask. So it was the old diagnosis. Before there was PDD, ADHD, ADD, there was frask frask frask frask frask frask frask frask frask frask frask. Much cheaper. So the boy says to tatty, I don't understand. I get an alef plus on singing and dancing, you start frasking me. He said, I don't understand you. What are you doing? So he says, my son, you failed in everything, und der host noch koach tzu tanzen? You failed everything and you still have the space, the mental space to dance? To dance? What's the mizmor l'david lamnatzeiach mizmor l'david b'voy elav? What's the mizmor l'david? You know that David did teshuvah for the rest of his life for this. He lost his son, he lost another son, he had Avshalom, sodus mit sodus mit sodus. So the made the helekesh made primishlana says, this is I have to say this is such a chassidishe vort. As I durach undurach undurach. He says, look at the grammar. Lamnatzeiach mizmor l'david b'voy elav noson hanovi kasher bo el bas sheva. When Noson hanovi came to him, when? Kasher? Like or when he came to Basheva? Noson hanovi came to him when he came to Basheva? I mean, you could say Noson hanovi came to him after the story with Basheva. What's b'voy ELAV NOSON HANOVI KASHER BO EL BAS SHEVA? So the helekesh made primishlana says, there's two ways how you can go over to somebody and tell them about what they have done wrong in their life. One way is I approach you and I look at you as a real failure, as a real loser, and you could see it in my face expressions. You could see it in my body language. You know, kids are so sensitive to disappointment. You don't have to say a word. They sniff it, they smell it. They feel what's going on, not in your conscious, in your subconscious. They feel what's going on in your subconscious. You want to know what you're what what what mood you're in? Look at your child, you'll know what mood you're in. Especially if you suffered from dissociation. Look at your child, he'll tell you how you're feeling. You could come to a person and say, look, look how horrible you are. You could come to a person and lift them up by seeing the ohr elokei, by seeing their beautiful light that still lingers inside of them, by looking how hard they try, by appreciating their struggles, by seeing their downfalls in the context of their life story, of their inner challenges, of their inner traumas. Lamnatzeiach mizmor l'david. David did teshuvah, but he did teshuvah with a niggun. You know why? B'voy elav noson hanovi kasher bo el bas sheva. Noson hanovi came to David just the same way that David came to Basheva. How did David come to Basheva? He started to SCREAM AT HER, BASHEVA! NO, THAT'S NOT HOW YOU DO IT. IT'S NOT HOW you propose, sorry. KUM HAB CHOSSON MIT DER CHUPPAH UNTER DER CHUPPAH UND GIB IHM SECHS PATSHER MIT MACHEN KIDDUSH L'VONAH AFTER L'VONAH. I WANT her to teach her that you'll do kiddush l'vonah on the moon. I'm going to smack you so hard you'll go to the moon, you'll do kiddush l'vonah on the moon. And the self-confidence of this kid ad hayom hazeh is mamish up to the moon. Where he did kiddush l'vonah. He took a gave him frask. I don't know if he was on the moon, but he saw the moon. That's not re It's not how you come to It's not how he came to Basheva. When you want to be with somebody, you do it b'ahava, b'chibah, with affection, with love. B'VOY ELAV NOSON HANOVI KASHER BO EL BAS SHEVA. Exactly like he came to Basheva, that's how Noson came to him. So the teshuvah was with a mizmor. And the divrei mayse says that's teshuvah samishkal. Teshuvah samishkal means the teshuvah has to be done exactly the same way I made the mistake. The mistake you did with simcha, with love, with affection. YOU CAN'T DO TESHUVAH FACHMURET, FARHAKT, FARKVETSHT, FARDRIKT, FARAINKT, TZUBLOZHEVET, ZAHAKT, FARVUNDET, FARDRIKT. That was for the Hungarians, the Galitziana, and the Litvaks. Fa fachmuret was for us Litvaks. That was stam for entertainment. No extra price, it's fine. You don't have to pay extra. You do the sin, YOU WERE DANCING BASHEVA BASHEVA GETANZT. NOW THE TESHUVAH, you're going to be as though you're depressed? That's not teshuvah. D'ZALBE ZACH MIT A SIMCHA. That's how Noson hanovi came to him. Shehemen b'oilamai uborei. That's how you speak to people. That's what I see in people. Yotzei tzu farach yisroel. That's one condition. That's the first condition to be able to absorb the shulva. The ability to believe in yourself, the ability to believe in your children, the ability to believe in Hashem, and the ability to know that I'm capable of transcending all my insecurities and fears and becoming the person not who I thought I was but the person God wants me to be. And those are two different people. There's the person I thought I was and there's the person Hashem wants me to become. Oh, yeah, it's a different person. It's a different shall Sananda mench. I see you call it a boy. But there's one more condition tied to breathing and schvester. And how do we say this condition? It's a beautiful toy that from the Halacha Maggid, the Maggid of Mezritch. Ah. But I do have to say this toy that is very very deep. It says in Malachim Malachim base I think it's para Gimel Elisha can't say prophecy. You know why? He's in a bad mood. So Elisha says at coolly menagerie. For you can I get a minute again? What the hell of you had a sham? Get me a minute again. Get me a niggun. I'm a niggun a singer. A a a musician or a vocalist or both. By he can I get A MINUTE AGAIN? WHEN THE MINUTE AGAIN WAS NOT AGAIN, the spirit of the show dwelt on Elisha. What's the can I get a minute again? Says the Halacha Maggid of Mezritch, open your hearts. Can I get a minute again means when the minute again is given the niggun. You see there is the song and there's the singer. Two separate things. But then there's no what the hell of you had a sham. By he can I get a minute again? When the minute again becomes the niggun. I once asked a great pianist who plays in Carnegie Hall how do you know you're successful? And he said when in middle of the concert I don't feel that I exist any longer. I looked at him. What does that mean? He says that that's the moment when my fingers just become a channel for the music. There's no self-consciousness that interposes itself that creates a sitza between the niggun and the people. By he can I get a minute again? Niggun also is the instrument. Let me ask you. Does a violin have an ego? Did you ever see a violin or a guitar or a cello or a drum or a harp or a fiddle after a concert take a bow and say Stradivarius 60 million bucks. Stradivarius A violin doesn't have an ego. What's a violin? It's a channel FOR THE MUSIC. WHEN A MINUTE AGAIN BECOMES the niggun WHEN THERE'S NO I singing there's no Rabbi Why Why I am I am called a schmetal or mutt or latter. When I BECOME LIKE THE VIOLIN I BECOME A CHANNEL FOR THE NIGGUN BUT THE hell of you had A SHAM. THE NAVI YESHAYAHU SAYS IN KHAS YESHAYAHU HANAVI SAYS KASHOYFER HOREV K'LECHO V'HAGGED L'Yaakov Pisha LIFT UP YOUR VOICE LIKE A SHOFAR AND TELL YIDDEN ABOUT THEIR SINS. WHAT'S IT'S LIKE A SHOFAR? What if it's like a trumpet? WHAT IF IT'S LIKE A PIANO? WHAT'S UP IT'S KASHOYFER? WHAT A KINNOR AND UGAV? HOREV K'LECHO WHY DOES YESHAYAHU HAVE TO SAY A SHOFAR? HOREV K'LECHO LIFT UP YOUR VOICE. UNSHREI HAGGED L'VEIS YAAKOV PISHAM. YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAYS? OH, mighty dick. The Maggid. What's a shofar? What's a shofar? I blow into a shofar right? Does the shofar create a sound? No. The shofar is the channel. I blow into the shofar. Ooh. The voice, the sound, the the breath the coil goes through the shofar and the shofar is a it's a channel. Says Yeshayahu Hanavi from the show. You want to tell Jews their sins? Make sure you're like a shofar. IF MY EGO IS THERE IT'S BETTER IF I'M QUIET. PUT A ZIPPER ON YOUR MOUTH. HOREV K'LECHO. IF I CAN become like a shofar there's no ego. You're disappointing me. You're destroying my life. You're disappointing OUR FAMILY. YOU'RE TRAUMATIZING ME. YOU'RE PLAYING WITH MY EGO. YOU'RE PLAYING WITH MY NACHAS. WHAT'S NACHAS? WHAT DOES THE WORD nachas mean? SO IT'S HAPPENING IN NACHAS. REMEMBER THAT BRACHA? HUH? It's a great blessing but it's also a dangerous one. Nachas sometimes is interpreted to mean your children were created to give you nachas. That's their purpose. Suddenly they're 16 years old. Hey, you didn't get the memo Yankee? Menachem? Bottom hole. Nobody sent you the memo that you were created to give me nachas and to give the zaida nachas and the bubba nachas and the alter bubba and to defeat Hitler. Nobody gave They gave me the memo. So the new generation stopped getting the memo, huh? Because the internet. Can't we send it through the internet the memo? You know who was born in the year nachas? Tof Nun Khas. Hey Allah from Tof Nun Khas, 1698. The Baal Shem Tov. He was born in the year nachas. Because he explains what nachas means. The word nachas comes from the word Noyach. B'shuva v'nachas tivashayon. Tinug. Ela told us Noyach Noyach. That's what the Targum says is Shabbos. Nachas is Shabbos. To have nachas from your children, you know what the blessing is? You should always look at your child and start smiling from the nachas, from the serenity and the tranquility and the shalva that a child brings to you. Not necessarily by going through that journey that I expected. Sometimes it's all of joy. But it's a different type of nachas. It's a different type of serenity. It's the serenity of knowing that I am in the arms of the show. There's no minute again. There's a niggun. What does it mean to be a mother? What does it mean to be a father? Says the Maggid to be a shofar. You're a conduit. You're a channel of the love of Hashem. It's not me. These kids don't belong to me. I'll tell you a secret. Even I don't belong to me. So who am I? I am a manifestation of the ain soif. You and I are manifestations of Hashem's infinite love and light in this world. You're a shofar. That's why we blow shofar on the day of our birth. What is a person? By the apple of nishmas chayim. You know what it means to live? To live means to serve as a shofar through which Hashem blows in a soul and life every moment. All I have to do is I'm your channel. That's what I am. I'm going to ask of you to meditate on this. When you say modeh ani and you say rabbah munasecha think to yourself Ela sh'ma asata horeni. Allow me to be your shofar today. Allow me to be the minute again who becomes the niggun. I'm a channel for the niggun. I'm the violin that passes through your melody. Hineini. That's who I am. Don't take it personal. Your daughter is not insulting you. Your son is not insulting you. You know when parents start taking it personal? Anybody remembers? Before days. You know when YOU TOOK TO THE TENT UP THERE? AND IF THAT'S THE BITTERNESS WE TAKE IT PERSONAL. In other words, I'm the child. I'm the 8-year-old who needs validation. It's normal. It's human. We have egos. But when I take it personal I can't be here for my child cuz I'm looking for validation. You don't need your child's validation. Your child needs your validation. Can I become a niggun? Can the minute again become a niggun? When the minute again becomes a niggun everything changes. Because now I wake up in the morning and I know three things. The first thing I know is I'm a of the in this world. So I'm invincible. I'm indestructible. I'm capable. I'm not a loser. I'm not a traumatized victim even if I had a challenging youth. I am Shluchai Shluchim Shluchai Rachmana. I'm like a kind of a good person. I'm an ambassador of Hashem in this world. There's no self-doubt. Self-doubt only comes when THE MENAGEN IS NOT ONE WITH THE NIGEN. WHEN THE MENAGEN KNOWS THAT HE IS A CHANNEL, SHE IS A CHANNEL. HORIM KALECHO. Lift up your coil. LIFT YOURSELF UP. HEY ZICHU. HEY ROYIMU. HEY ZICHU. Lift yourself up and say, "I'm not a loser. I'm not a victim. I'm not a bad mother. I'm not a traumatized father. I used to think I am." I'm a shaifer. I'm a channel for Ein Sof. I'm a channel for infinity. I'm invincible. God is invincible, I'M INVINCIBLE. BECAUSE MY EYE IS A SHLIACH FOR HIS EYE AND SHLUCHAI SHLUCHIM Shluchai Rachmana. A messenger represents the one who sent him. I'm a chelek Elokai Mimaal Mamash. What's the self-doubt all about? No self-doubt. Number one. Number two. I don't own these kids. God owns them. I'm just his violin. I'm his violin. And my job is to bring music into this home. That's my job. I want this home to be filled with music. I want this home to be filled with joy. I want this home to be FILLED WITH NIGEN. I want this home TO BE FILLED WITH POSITIVITY, with spiritedness, with hope, with emunah, with resilience. She ain't by Lomei Yobarai. I don't get INVOLVED IN PERSONAL STRUGGLES and insults and I'm going to get you back and you're going TO GET ME BACK AND I'M STRONGER AND I'M BIGGER AND I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU who's boss and I'm going to take revenge. Yes, the trauma comes in. Take revenge. Show who's boss. Nobody speaks to you like this in this house. Maybe yes, maybe not. But the decision should come from a place of strength, not from a place of weakness. From a place that I am here to do the job of Hashem and bring out the best in my children. What is necessary at this moment? And the third consequence is, it's never about tomorrow. It's always first and foremost about right now. Reb Aaron Hagadol of Karlin once said, it says by Yaakov Avinu in Parshas Vayechi, Vayevarech heim bayom hahu leimor. He blessed his grandchildren that day. Why was that day and not the next day? Doesn't say which day. With Vayevarech heim bayom hahu leimor. You know what he says? Ah. Gevaldige vort. He says he gave them a bracha. You know what the bracha is? Bayom hahu leimor. They should be able to say and ask, "What's the avodah this day?" That's the bracha. So many of us are busy with figuring things out. What's going to be in a year? What's going to be in 10 years? Going to be in 20 years? Going to be in 30? Of course, a person always likes to to plan for the future. Lo chachma ro'eh es hanolad. But let that not take you away from the present moment. V'eizeh avodah metchila avodah zarah hayu v'seinu. V'achshav kirvanu hamakom l'avdo. People who live metchila, used to be. That's avodah zarah. V'achshav. How do you KNOW YOU'RE IN THE PRESENCE OF HASHEM? V'ACHSHAV. THE POWER OF NOW. VAYEVARECH HEIM BAYOM HAHU LEIMOR. The bracha that Yaakov gave his grandchildren was they should be able to say, "BAYOM HAHU ON THAT DAY, THEY SHOULD BE ABLE TO SAY, "WHAT'S THE AVODAH FOR THIS DAY?" TOMORROW'S TOMORROW. MY QUESTION IS WHAT DOES HASHEM WANT FROM me today? Bayom hahu, what's this day? What's the calling? What's the mission? What's the shlichus of this day? What's my opportunity on this day? I'm going to conclude with a story. The story happened in the year Tavshin Mem. Tavshin Mem would mean I'm sorry, the story in the year Tavshin Mem Aleph. Tishrei. Erev Yom Rosh Hashanah Rabbah Tavshin Mem Aleph, which means the end of October or September of 1980. The Heiliger Satmar Rav, the Divrei Yoel, Rabbeinu Yoel Zechus Tzaddik Livracha, passed away in the summer of 1980, Av of Tavshin Mem. Lamed Tes, sorry. I stand corrected. The 26th of Av 1979. There was a Yid and I heard the story from somebody who stood was standing right nearby. He lives in Chicago. His name is Rabbi Bookiet. And he shared this with me personally. There was a Yid, a Satmar Chassid, a Rosh Yeshiva in one of the Satmar Yeshivas. He would go in every year before Yom Kippur to get a bracha from the holy Satmar Rebbe, Zechus Tzaddik Livracha, for a good year. But in '79, Lamed Tes, the Satmar Rav passed away. And in the new year, he wanted to get a bracha. So this was Tavshin Mem. I said it was 1980, I'm sorry. September '79. So he decided to take a trip from Williamsburg to Crown Heights. It's just a 10-minute drive. Hoshana Rabbah, the the end of Sukkos, the Lubavitcher Rebbe would stand by a sukka, by his sukka, and he would give lekach, honey cake, whoever wanted. Thousands and thousands of people came and wished them a good year. He would do it Erev Yom Kippur and for those who weren't there Erev Yom Kippur, they came Sukkos, he did it at Hoshana Rabbah. Rabbi Bookiet tells me, "I was in line behind this Satmar Rosh Yeshiva. The line, if you know the geography of Brooklyn, the line, you can ask Harav Gavriel David. He learned by Reb Hutner's Kollel on President Kollel Gur Aryeh, Shalom Aleichem. It's an honor to have the Rosh Yeshiva with us. So the geography of Crown Heights, they stood they went the line went down Eastern Parkway and up Brooklyn Avenue till President Street. It was a long line, but it went very fast. Rabbi Bookiet tells me he's standing behind the Satmar Rosh Yeshiva and he says, "What brings you here?" So he says he always got a bracha from the Satmar Rav. This year, unfortunately, his Rebbe passed away. He wanted a bracha, so he came to the Lubavitcher Rebbe. He's going to get a piece of honey cake and a blessing for a good and sweet year. Okay. They were schmoozing al dov al chot. In front of them, in front of both of them, there was a Jew who looked very different. He had long hair, but not just long hair. The hair went from his head and it went quite it went down quite in a lengthy fashion. He was a Nazir Mahadrin Min Hamahadrin. But besides the long hair, there were also many other features which, to put it bluntly, didn't give him exactly the heimisha look. Not a Williamsburg look and not even a Monsey look and not even a Brooklyn Jewish look. He was obviously from a very secular background. He was dressed that way. His bodily various garments that he was wearing displayed that truth. And he saw, he tells me, that the Satmar Rosh Yeshiva was extremely uncomfortable standing near this near this fellow. It was, you know, it was like uncomfortable. Like who compared to Anyway, the line continues and Rabbi Bookiet tells me this fellow with the long hair, very secular young American Jew, passes by the Lubavitcher Rebbe. He gives him a piece of honey cake and in English he says, "A good and sweet year." As he's about to leave, the Rebbe turns to this hippy and he says, "Do you have plans to be anywhere for Simchas Torah?" "Do you have plans to be anywhere?" So the man says, "Not particularly." So he says, "I would like to invite you to come dance with us here in shul. We're going to be dancing throughout the night with the Torah and it would be my honor and pleasure if you join me for the festivities here in the synagogue." So what do you do if you're a nice American kid and you don't want to say no, but you want to say no. So what do you say? We'll see, right? We'll see. In Yiddish we'll say "Mir darf zich betrachten." Right? In English you say, "We'll see. I'll think about it." So he tells the Rebbe, "I'll see." Okay. And he he moves on. The Satmar Rosh Yeshiva goes by the Lubavitcher Rebbe. He gives him a piece of honey cake, tells him "Shana Tova U'Metuka." And he's about to leave. Rabbi Bookiet tells me, the Rebbe looks at him and says, "Is that a Satmar Chassid?" "You're a Satmar Chassid?" He says, "Yeah." "Yismach Moshe learned in there?" "You learned to say for Yismach Moshe?" For those who don't know, Yismach Moshe in Satmar is what Tanya is in Lubavitch, what Griz stencils is in Brisk. Okay? And what Chidushei Rav Nachum is in the Mir. And what Likutei Mahar An is in Breslov. Right? Yismach Moshe was written by Reb Moshe Teitelbaum, the father of the dynasty of Satmar, the Rav of Uhel. Uhel, Hungary. It's a gishmaka sefer. It's on it's on Tanach and Chumash and Tanach. So he asks him, "You're a Satmar?" He says, "Yeah." "You learned Yismach Moshe?" He says, "Yeah." Yismach "Zain hakdama af in Pirush af Tehillim gedenkte?" He says, "Thousands of people are waiting online. his commentary on Tehillim? It's called Tehillim L'Moshe. So, he was at a Yeshiva, he was well-versed. He says, "Yeah, I've heard of it." The Rebbe says, "The Maiseh with Reb Michel's Lotchiver Gedankter Oykh?" You remember the story with Reb Michel's Lotchiver? So, he says, "Velche Maiseh?" So, the Lubavitcher Rebbe reminds him the story. Reb Bukky told it to me, so I went to look it up. What's the story? The Yismach Moshe says, "I heard from the Chozeh of Lublin. I heard from the Seer of Lublin that Reb Michel's Lotchiver, Reb Yechiel Michel the Maggid of Lotchiv, was a Talmid of the Baal Shem Tov. In fact, there's a Niggun that he made. It's called the Niggun His'arerus Rachamim Rabim. One Shavuos, I think, he couldn't come to the Baal Shem Tov, and he missed the Baal Shem Tov so much. So, what do you do when you long for your Rebbe? You compose a Niggun. There's the famous Reb Michel's Lotchiver's Niggun. Ai da dai. We got this. Huh? So, Reb Michel's Lotchiver's father was Reb Yitzchak Dovidcher. When he passed away, the Chozeh told the Yismach Moshe, "He comes up to heaven. Who comes to greet him? Rashi." Asks Reb Yitzchak, "Why was I Zoycheh that Rashi should come to see me?" So, Rashi says, "It was not for you, it's for your son, Reb Michel's Lotchiver. And Rashi says, 'Tell me, your son creates such a Nachas Ruach in heaven. What does he do so special? Vos Mama Loshon, vos tut er?" So, he says, "My son like Posik Pumeh Megarseh." This Lotchiver Maggid, Reb Yechiel Michel, he doesn't stop learning. Rashi says, "Ah, for Talmud Torah K'Neged Kulam. But, there's other Yidden who learn, and I don't see that they create such a Nachas in heaven. How about they create? But, something special about him." So, he says, "My son is Yoshev Me'Tayeiv Me'Shabbos Me'Tainis Me'Shabbos L'Shabbos. He fasts all week. Which means he completely transcends the physical, material body and world." Rashi says, "Psh. But, there's other Yidden who do that. I don't see uh they create such a Tumult in heaven." He says, "My son, every spare moment he uses for Tzedakah, for Amanas Aniyim, for Simon Pidyen Shvuyim." Because Lotchiver would gather money for poor people, for the destitute, for orphans, for widows, for people in captivity. Rashi says, "Tzedakah K'Neged Kulam Yisrael." Tzedakah is equivalent to all the Mitzvos Chazal say. "M'Kareves Es Ha'Geulah." Gemara Bava Basra. But, there's other Yidden who give Tzedakah, and a lot of Tzedakah. There's something special about your son that is unique, that the Ribbono Shel Olam is so happy from him." So, Reb Yitzchak tells Rashi, "There's one more thing about my son." And he quotes the Novi Malachi, three words, "V'Rabim Heishiv Me'Avon." Reb Michel's Lotchiver was Oisek in that generation in making Baalei Teshuvah, bringing back Jews from a life of iniquity, bringing them back to the Ribbono Shel Olam, bringing them back to Knesses Yisrael." K'She'Shama Rashi Zos, when Rashi heard this, Nisyashva Da'ato. Rashi, so to speak, calmed down. Rashi was settled. Rashi said, "Ah, that's what it is." So, the Lubavitcher Rebbe looked at the Rosh Yeshiva, and he said, "Eib Rashi Ken Zich Beruhigen, Ken Iz Eych Beruhigen." Rashi calmed down, and you can also calm down. "V'Rabim Heishiv Me'Avon." And the man stood there stunned. So, the Rebbe looked at him and said, "If Ihr Shtayt?" So, he said, "Ich Verstay Zehr Gut." I understand well. They smiled, they they gave Shalom to each other, wished each other Gut Yom Tov, and moved on. Reb Bukky tells me that this Yid turns to him, and afterwards says, "Ah, Mayla Zei Geveist Vos Ich Tracht, Okay. Mayla you knew what I was thinking about. Ober der Hashgacha, der V'Rabim Heishiv Me'Avon. Ah." Reb Bukky tells me, it was Simchas Torah at night, and there was a lot of Hakafos tough men. I actually remember it. I was a kid, but I remember it. And the Rebbe Simchas Torah would start Hakafos 1:00 in the morning, because he used to Farbreng after Ma'ariv, used to Farbreng for a few hours. That was the Minhag by the Chabad Rebbes, and Hakafos would only start after midnight. Farbreng would go from 9:00 till 12:00, then they had to reset up the whole Shul. 1:00 he would come down for Hakafos, and it went for a few hours, till like 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning. And then he would go up to his room, eat his Yom Tov, whatever he did, and the Olam would stay in Shul and dance. There were thousands of people dancing, thousands and thousands and thousands, all the way till Shacharis when the Rebbe would come down again to Daven Shacharis and the Hakafos of the day. Reb Bukky tells me that it was around 5:00 or 6:00 in the morning, and he finished dancing, he was exhausted, and he decided it's time to go to sleep so he should be able to wake up the next morning for Shacharis Simchas Torah. So, he says he's walking out from the back entrance of 770 Eastern Parkway, and he sees an Alter Russisher Chossid Yid, an old Chossid who came from Russia, who was years in Siberia, with a Kasket, and he's dancing with another person who looks very different than him, a Jew with long hair. So, Reb Bukky tells me, "I take a look, who is it? It's that student, that young man." He says, "After all, it was an invitation he couldn't refuse. He showed up, and he said that's was a surreal moment. An old Chossid who was years in Stalin's Gulag dancing with this young American assimilated Jew." 6:00 in the morning on Eastern Parkway, Simchas Torah 1979. Rashi had a an appreciation for learning Torah every moment. Rashi had an appreciation for Tainiyus and Avodas Hashem. Rashi had an appreciation for Tzedakah and Gemilus Chassadim. But, what overwhelmed Rashi more than anything else, and what he said touches the Ribbono Shel Olam more than anything else, was that Reb Michel's Lotchiver did not see any Jew as a stranger. And for his entire life, he seeked to reveal in every Jew the Cheilek Elokah Mi'Ma'al, and to bring him or her back to their justified, rightful place amongst Knesses Yisrael, that share that has been waiting for them since Ma'amad Har Sinai, and will always wait for them, because they are a they have a unique contribution and represent an indispensable note in the cosmic symphony of the divine. And thus I say to you, Tiyedu Et Ha'Atus, Tiyedu Et Ha'Mamus. Those who have been given the Ribbono Shel Olam's Shlichus, Mi Yedeihem La'Eis K'Zos Higdila Malchus, they're able to look at every one of our children, each one of our neighbors' children, and each one of our nephews and nieces and Talmidim, and cuz not just about your children. Don't make it only about your children. From your children, the energy by Asmochis goes over to every other child and every other parent. To be able to reveal that eternal, timeless connection, to be able not only to cultivate unconditional love, but to CULTIVATE UNCONDITIONAL PRIDE. To be able to say Ma'aseh Yadayim Lehispayeir. To be able to open yourselves up to the Shel OF THE RIBBONO SHEL OLAM, to be able TO BECOME A NIGGUN ADAM U'NAGGEN, TO BE ABLE TO BECOME A SHOFER, NOT AN EGO. TO BE ABLE TO BECOME A SHLIACH SHEL ADAM K'MA'ASEH. AND I WOULD SAY EVEN MORE, THOSE CHILDREN are the ones who are also engaged in this work of V'Rabim Heishiv Me'Avon. BECAUSE LET'S FACE IT, SOME OF US KNOW HOW TO BE VERY FRUM, but not godly. Very religious, BUT NOT HOLY. VERY METICULOUS, BUT NOT TRANSCENDENT. VERY, VERY EHRLICH, BUT NOT LOVING. Not divine. Not open. Not infinite. We know how to be precise. We know HOW TO BE TOUGH. WE KNOW how to be extremely, extremely religious. But, we sometimes don't know what it means to be channels of real Yiras Shamayim. Which means opening myself up not to my expectations, but what God wants from me at this moment. Sometimes our children are the ones who do the greatest V'Rabim Heishiv Me'Avon. They take US AWAY FROM A LIFE that seems very religious, but sometimes keeps us stuck in the quagmire of judgmentalism, in the quagmire of animosity, in the quagmire of competitiveness, in the quagmire of resentment, in the quagmire of ridicule, of judgmentalism, of fear. Is that not an avoine? Avoine from the word evil's crookedness. THEY ALLOW US TO ALLOW OUR AVOINE TO Hashem to become open, EXPANSIVE, AIN SOIF, b'li vool. TO OPEN OURSELVES UP TO MAR HASHEM ELOKECHA SHOYEL MAY IMOCH. AND TO BE ABLE TO SEE THE OIT ME'AT, THE AIN ROSHEV is b'nain tam mikoyem oiv ainenu reish peh beis. Likutei Maran reish peh beis, THE OIT ME'AT. AND THEN V'AINENU. May all of you and all of us be given the fortitude and the resilience that THIS SHEVES ACHIM GAM YACHAD, ISH ES RE'EIHU YA'AZORU U'LO ACHIV U'LO ACHOSOY YOYMAR CHAZAK, CHAZAK, v'nischazeik to be able to experience THE ULTIMATE SHALVA, THE ULTIMATE SERENITY WITH THE GREAT MOMENT OF AHAVAS LEIV AVOIS AL BANIM V'LEIV BANIM AL AVOISAM B'MEHEIRA B'YAMEINU. AMEN. Thank you very much. This class is brought to you by the Yeshiva.net. Please help us continue the classes. Make even a small contribution at www.theyeshiva.net/donate.