Understanding Addiction | Maamer U'sfartem 5711 #4

the yeshiva.net so welcome i want to thank everybody for gracing us this morning we are in the middle of the us on your source sheets it's page 67 we're holding chapter four will be your indian hiscala los amigos uh if you don't have the source sheets you can go to the yeshiva.net and they have the video for today and if you don't see the video on top if you go to live there's a bar called live classes a green bar in the middle of the page and over there you could see the the live classes today's and the upcoming ones and you could print out the source sheets we'll be your indian hiscala los amigos to explain more to explain not more to explain what is the idea of escala which means the integration of midis how each media how each one of a person's emotional experiences is not just individual but it's also it encompasses it includes all of the other middles because we explained before at length this was the theme of chapter three that bringing the oim error was a one day event the sixteenth of nissan counting the imer continues 49 days because bringing the aimer represents if you remember bidur hamashin of the nephesh bahamas it's confronting it's it's helping realign the vision of the animal soul how it sees the world to be able to see it from an aligned perspective to be able to experience alignment in its hashgaffer in its vel tan in its perspective of how it sees the world not to see the world as a primitive scared animal but to be able to see oneness then there is the counting this is already this is dealing with my actual emotional experience this is a very visceral this is the avodah with my visceral self and here he says i have to work with each middle and each detail and therefore each meter gets a whole week which is seven days because each middle includes all the other seven that's what's going to explain now what does it mean to work with each middle individually and therefore you can't just have one day for one midday you need seven days for a middah and let's hope that that's enough and then you have all together seven weeks which is 49 days and that's where he went into the whole idea of rabbenu the three opinions of sriracha the of the rambam the view of the rambam the view of twice was in the view of rabbini as explained last time she says let's take an example kindness benevolence right it's it's it's a symptom it's an expression of love of affection attraction closeness connection in and of itself as a self-contained experience when you're talking about the divine soul represents hashem the love of god and the love of god of course includes the love of all the love of humanity the love of the world avas islam avas islam the love i'm translating as the love of the world because the world as we learned in the maya merceshes the world is kayak everything has the imprint of hashem as david says in tehillim chapter 8 i look at the heavens and i see the fingerprints of you i look at the moon i gaze at the stars that you have designed so i have a relationship with you the rambam says in hillchrome the foundations of chapter right in the beginning there's a mitzvah of love and awe of hashem how does one reach that and the rambam's path is to basically gaze and contemplate and meditate on creation on the cosmos on the universe on the planet from the largest star as he puts it until the tiniest worm or gnat or mosquito which allows one to see the kayechapel benifer so i'm clarifying we say avasashem it includes all love because real love of humanity real love of the world is as a divine expression as a manifestation of the divine and and oneness that pervades all of us we're all connected so avers hashem is the embodiment of the love the attraction the feeling the connection but haley is not just one isolated media it's encompassing it encompasses yes it is multi-dimensional the sense that it has an aspect for it to be fully robust and wholesome it must include the other middles and that's why in spherical where we have the first night of sphere is what it's the aspect of hassan but the second night is already but we're now dissecting what's happening with my guru aspect of hassan and the next night and what's going on with my tifferis aspect of khasit the indian khashoggi a person's love to hashem causes that he loves all that which expresses hasha all those who love us a person sees somebody who's learning tara who's involved in a mitzvah sees here shamayim sees all of heaven there's a natural such a powerful affection and clinging i'm so proud of the person i so appreciate the person i so cherish and love and care for that person hashem's hashem's imprint and footprint is in every creature but when you see the manifestation of it his avas hashem causes that this person sees a jew learning sees a drew davening sees a jew observing any mitzvah with your shamayim with love there is a very powerful expression of love i celebrate it i'm so appreciative of it it means so much to me and that's triggering for me a story i once read about the ponovich of rabbi yosef khan man of raja he was the rov of ponovich in lita in lithuania upon which is a city in lithuania before the second world war and he had a beautiful community there i like every community it had this it had its challenges lithuania before the war was not simple in terms of yiddish guy but in a beautiful community yeshiva and of course shoes and a lot of jews their precious jews he had his own family which he lost during the war and then he he rebuilt a new family after the war so the pondovich of i read that after the war you know he people were so broken and he built a lot of institutions in benebrach he had vision and ambition and he built uh many extraordinary and beautiful jewish institutions besides yeshiva orphanages etc and so so those years you know there was a chanukah see when the sabbath and he gets up now he was a real literally she did you know he was uh he was a lithuanian rav for generations and uh that's what he was but he gets up with the hanukkah for a gary stiebel or a guerrilla based madrid and he says today today i'm a gary house all right some of you remember you know it's been a berliner you know i'm a berlin citizen his point was the empathy you know sometimes we get caught up in class in class frictions you know this is your shoulder this is my shoulder this is your yeshiva this is my yeshiva this is your nose this is mine but then says who loves hashem and the expression of of vela cus in the world he grabs with two hands he embraces he celebrates it with an ms it's not you know politics i'm being politically correct i'll make believe i'm enjoying it but really i'm eating myself up why this organization is successful and why this issue is successful and why this person is learning so much thanking so much so i'll make believe i'm in a good mood but really you know i'm i'm jealous okay there's a jealousy that's good can i say from time you know if it triggers if it triggers ambition and commitment but but this is a genuine idea every expression of a lecous in the world every expression of of godliness in the world you see he's he's doing a mitzvah you see an expression of years you celebrate it you love it and you love him or you or her it's just it's it's it's just a genuine organic manifestation of avas hashem you love everyone who loves hashem you love everything that expresses hashem a person's involvement and anything that's connected to hashem is done with alacrity with his jesus with swiftness i don't procrastinate you know when you're excited about something when you're driven by love your energy is ignited there's a fire there this is jesus when people delay when people tarry when people procrastinate it's because you know i'm a little dry i'm a little numb i'm a little dead lifeless khalil but when there's another we know this in human terms when there's when there's a sense of of love and passion so there's a seriousness you know can i can't be fast enough i'm on my feet like this so this is the way that is expressed in hassan it's further it's that the love is is expanded further and further so this is a fascinating idea because guru is the paradox of khasit yet guru shivakasad means that is using the medium the channel of gabora to express itself through there is a deep repulsion or a deep loathing of those who are nagdehavaya who oppose hashem who are opponents who are managed who want to undermine the goodness who want to undermine fairness who want to undermine holiness and godliness like it says in like says hashem in tehran we say friday night before i have a hashem senura why because if i hate goodness if i love goodness i hate i hate evil somebody who loves everything you know i love goodness and i love what else do i love and i love evil it doesn't work it's not real it's not real if i love if i love a behavior and i love a person who's filled with goodness so commander it with that ava like he says in chapter 10 of tanya is the sinner. if i really really love goodness i am disturbed and loathed by evil with the same intensity person who loves life hates those who sow death a person who cherishes the life of a person cannot tolerate despises people who take lives of people murder and and and generally immorality and negative toxic behavior it's true that even the men again hashem deep down has its kim and deep down everybody could do triva and that's what we hope for that's what we try but there is a very deep repulsion against iran against negativities that's the if you really love me somebody tells you i love you and i hate your children when you love your children you also hate those those things and those who want to shalom undermine them and destroy them being interference what's te faires of casas what's tiffaristiferis means beauty harmony who is spiders so teferes is beauty to pharisees glory it's the hispirus the word tepherus also comes from the word hispirus hispirus means the the glorification that comes from what does this mean somebody sees somebody learning tired and observing mitzvahs with with delight with pleasure hallelujah he gets he is misfired he he the word is brag or boasts or glorifies or really appreciates the beauty of toyota mitsurus how much terror can refine a person because that's the tiffeness of the facet the avas hashem the love to hashem the love dead love to mitzvos he's talking here in the divine souls middles is expressed in tiferis the celebration of it first he spoke about the love to the jew who's learning or doing mitzvah so you have or experiencing girish then he speaks about the gebura which is that there is there's there's a negative pain a negative reaction to those who want to undermine it and destroy it no now he's talking about the medicine the animal divine soul the bitter has to be in the animal soul but first he's explaining the scala los amidnes in the ad divine song because the divine soul has the seven middles just like the animal soul has them you understand [Music] and then there's the fellowship the beauty of it the way the hai said this love this hassan is not expressed only through hassan it's not expressed only through guru it's expressed through tifares to pharisees the glorification the celebration the beautiful the beautiful the aesthetical that comes from this hazard when i love this i cherish it so much i'm so moved by by the beauty by the harmony by their by the by the glory of it the person sees the edelkite the refinement that toyota can achieve in a person that mitzvahs can achieve in a person the transformation the subtlety the sensitivity the profound spiritual moral intellectual emotional depth this is teferes not only does hassan encompass the primary three middles the right column the left column the center column it also includes what's called the branches of the middles which are the next three nets and hydrosite and here we go like nitsake what's the connection what's nat when i love you even if there are obstacles and even if there are roadblocks that stop me i make sure to be victorious over myself to withstand every obstacle in the world when i have hassan without netser very often i have love but if something comes in the way okay i surrender i give up that's that ability to fight for my love to fight for my relationship to fight for my affection to fight for that which really matters to me and matters to my core that's the way khasid is being filtered through natsuk it's all sensitive it's all love but there's the way the love is expressed through love this is the way the love is expressed through guru through discipline through boundaries through strength through sometimes severity and sometimes a very negative feeling to that which wants to destroy the love that which wants to destroy that which i love there's the way the love is filtered through tiffares the sense of glorification and beauty and there's the way the love is filtered through netzer let's never understand beautiful stuff here the way that has it is filtered through nazis it's nets it's the nets aspect of hassan your hassan has the medium of victory i don't just love i'm ready to fight for it i'm ready to overcome because it's always going to be an obstacle this one is stopping me i'm stopping myself remember the fast once told somebody he was involved in something big he says this nation is spoiled and volcanished do not get affected by any criticism and anybody who tries to stop you a felony don't even get affected from you yourself because the worst critic who's the worst critic especially if you're a good ashkenazic jew who's the best who's the best critic in the world the greatest craig in the world is yourself you know the inner voice that says i'm not in the mood i can't i don't really want i almost want i should want tomorrow and next year so you need the netsection the ability to overcome the is furthermore person is experiencing opposition from the outside feels he has no energy lie he feels that the multitudes have stood up against me this is an expression of tehillim chapter 3. he name it but his love to hashem allows him to combat to fight with all the opposition and that's the concept of the heid aspect of ghassan so first he spoke about overcoming the obstacles inside yourself right the paralysis or the smugness or the complacency or the melancholy or the downers or all the voices inside myself i have to overcome i also have to overcome things from the outside it's very different very different opposition but they're both serious and this is all how hasset is coming out through these qualities it's a great question it's a great question you're asking what's the connection of you understand net means victory what's the connection of hoi'd to the fact that you're overcoming those outside of you you're right so the the truth is i just want to say this for the record that indifferent my martyrdom there's going to be you'll see sometimes different aspects in different middles for example haid is sometimes translated as gratitude like sometimes it's it's it's translated as submission you know i'm made it to you acquiesce you know haida bemiktis huh yeah hide his vulnerability hide his gratitude height is confession haider is also saying i'm sorry yeah we'll see more about heide but here he's also pointing out something else about heid and that is it's the victory of those forces outside of me why is that not included in that song so you're saying because here you can do it on your own you're vulnerable and you have to turn to resources beyond you have to turn to the creator of the world yeah okay that may be one aspect we'll see we'll see more soon about how then we'll understand clearer the connection because really even even the the you know the traumas inside of me i need help from outside uh okay but it's a very good question what's your side you said it's a very interesting media it's not so clear it means foundation or it's foundation so generally you say it is defined really in the zohar in the in the limbs of the body there's the desire says this is the introduction of tikkuni zoya it begins possibly yo some people say it friday after minute i'm sorry friday friday before minecraft some uh some cahillas it's introduction because this is the right arm is the left arm to ferris is the torso because every one of the middles has a unique space in the body in the physiological organism of a person nets and are the two thighs and it says yo it's humid the gopher is bruce kaidus your side is the end of the body it represents the bris the procreative organ which is the organ of connection a person should leave his father and mother and cleave to his spouse and they become one flesh so all forms of real bonding and communicativity are associated with your site which is what creates a foundation a foundation which allows you to build any infrastructure on can only come if there is deep communicativity deep bonding deep connection it's true with parents and children it's true of course with spouses it's true with teachers and students in the classroom or any other setting is true with employers and employees foundations are con are created through presence through deep connection even if for whatever reason sometimes a person is not experiencing a gravitational pull to tighten itself but the hesset the deep love creates within me the yearning to be connected and therefore i connect to it with every motion of my soul achieved and this itself arouses a yearning a longing a craving to turmeric and this affects a person's behavior his or her thoughts and words and actions are saturated only with which is shazam that is the implementation of thought and speech and action in other words you have your side which is his cash res connectivity you become fully present and connected to something like in tanya the fourth section in gary sakaidos chapter 15 where the balatanya goes through the middles and explains them in a person's soul he says for example when a a a teacher is teaching a student he could be disconnected he's just giving their information you so it is that you actually really connect to the other person it's called discussions you really know how to connect to people not just you giving information you can give brilliant information you can even love them inside but you don't know how to connect you know sometimes there's parents everybody knows this who love their children they'll do anything for their children but they don't know how to connect the children don't feel connected they don't feel their presence they don't feel this casuals me this is missing joseph in kabbalah this was his unique skill he knew how to connect that's why that one 100 just like hashem connects through simpson in other words creating space for otherness every person every parent every person i have to really create space for you and tune into your world i can't connect to you by tuning into my world and we all know this in communication and this is a very powerful idea in communication communication can only come through bonding that's me to say you say it real bonding now how is that expressed that it's called intimacy that's the word intimacy there's physical intimacy between a husband and a wife there is spiritual intimacy between people who want to be close to each other between a rabbi and a hasid between friends between a rebbe a teacher and a disciple between a father and a son or a daughter or a mother and a son or a daughter or grandchild or between who have two people who really want to connect that's not talking to each other this is not just communicating to each other it's bonding it's real communication it's i'm not giving you a speech i'm connecting to you you feel the connection so you say well in one second is but there's parents who love their children in fact you can speak to many people they'll tell you their parents do anything for me but i didn't feel connected they didn't understand me they didn't know how to be present for me they would do anything for me wonderful people maybe they couldn't express they did not express it maybe they had their own traumas from life and therefore they had to space out a little bit or detach they couldn't feel so many emotions whatever it is but this has been this is it what is it in the nether shallow kiss one manifestation of it he says you connect to it you connect to it you're fully present you're fully connected and what's the final one is the last one of the mid which is always the bottom line the bottom line is the way it comes down in the real world that's why he says it's not just a feeling inside of me it's not just a conviction inside of me it's not just a willingness inside of me it's not just a connection inside of me it's the actual implementation of whatever the passion is that he says it's maksha the actual thoughts the words and the actions okay and just like i said is just one second okay just like he said encompasses all the middles unfortunately that ebb doesn't do it with the other six with this it would have been nice if he did but he did it only with khasid but it's also true with the other minutes in other words we can go through big if eris and the same with tiffarius and natsuki and in spherus we meditate each night and each day on that particular filter of that particular middle so the first night of spirit zoymer i want to focus on the hasset aspect of this is all in the divine soul but he continues the next page we need shame the focus of spiritual ceremony is the refinement of the animal soul as just as this is true with the godly souls through the animal soul that every mid encompasses all the seven shades we have the great principle in kahelas ecclesiastes chapter seven shleiman tells us one force paralleling another force every force in holiness has a counter force a counter which counterbalances it za la umass za us so if there's something in the nether shallow case there will be a parallel faculty in the nephesh bahamas so he said let's go to the animal soul now in an animal has affection and attachment and attraction and love my animal soul has it so what is but as an animal my vision is the vision of an animal i am part of the zoological species i share planet earth with the chimps and the gorillas and the monkeys and all of the other mammals all of the other behemoths vicayas i may be a homo sapien my cognitive faculties are developed i have language i could manipulate i could control i can rule the universe i can create nations and empires build gymnasiums and theaters and circuses and gladiators i can even build hospitals and museums and universities and cathedrals cathedrals i can build all of these things i can build hotels and i can build mansions which the animals can't but essentially the animal soul represents a level of consciousness in which i am still defined and stuck with the animal perspective on myself and on those around me so it's very visceral it's very real it's very primal it's very primitive and as we learned earlier in the moment of job has even an advantage relative to the divine soul it has the merusa that intensity that alacrity that passion the animalistic passion you know that look in the eyes of the tiger and the cheetah when it's on the chase there's something very powerful about it because of its cherish so let's go through how it's expressed in africa and he's again he's going to give one example the examples he's giving you is not excluding others he's just giving one way in which it's expressed an animal loves material things which will make me feel good at the moment which will make me comfortable and which will ensure my survival that's my focus my focus is self-preservation that's my focus self-preservation self-gratification that's what i want the physical looks attractive to me looks appealing to me i don't see heaven i see the physical and my love to the physical is expressed in an open craving true kagluya is an open clear craving to everything material that feels good regardless of this i get angry at you because you don't fulfill my needs i love my comfort so much that if somebody gets in the way i hate you i get angry at you it's very practical i get angry at you i get upset at you anybody who gets in my way right anybody who gets in my way of my selfish desires and pleasures i hate you that's it i'm very upset at you and right now i hate you this is how my heset is being channeled through guru it's only because i love i have this goal this is what i want and if you're getting in the way you are annoying me and i feel very negative towards you if somebody tells them okay this is now a person comes over and says how is it appropriate for you and yiddish the word is vipastas how is it uh suitable for you to be submerged in animalistic endeavors which completely don't reflect who you are they don't reflect the myla the the virtue the status the posture of a human being the posture of a human being is one in which man's head or woman your person's head stands on top you stand erect on two legs on two feet your head is on the top followed by vertically you have your torso and your heart all the way down to your arms and your legs and your feet and the sole of your feet the behavior is not that way the behave is horizontal the head and the other parts of the body are all on the same madriga how is it that you're lowering your posture from milo saw adam we passed us if somebody tells us them how they use he hates them he gets upset at them because you are coming in between me and my candies whatever those candies look like those candies can be very very expensive candies but when you come in between yeah it's like an animal who got a kill you know when the lioness is gonna kill and the hyenas come to steal the kill and a fight breaks out i don't know you're my enemy sometimes the buffaloes or the rhinoceroses or the hippos who don't like the lioness as i believe and they see that they got a kill and they chased them away i don't like what you're doing you're disturbing me so my hair said my love to something is now being expressed in anger for me this is survival this is what i need this is what i love and you want to take that away from me so you don't take that away from me my hate is not coming just i hate you stam i hate you you're getting in between something that is so important for me now this is a very important observation for understanding yourself and understanding others you know behind all anger behind all hate there's usually a love or there's often a love it's not just i'm angry at you there's a pain that you're causing me there's an inner pain that you're causing me a loneliness you're taking me away from something that in my mind i cherish these are things just to be aware of in other words what looks like vura is really a part of cassette i am so connected to this in my own mind and maybe erroneously maybe if i could get the help of realizing that you're actually taking me away from something that is not connecting me to what i really need then i don't have to get angry and upset at you but right now in my state of mind you are depriving me from something which i feel is so important for me to something i'm holding on to something i love that you're taking away from me of course i'm upset at you what is that we say i'm angry at somebody else are you really angry at somebody else or go a little deeper what is what is this anger coming from where is this hate coming from where is this negative feeling coming from it's a very powerful tool of awareness to be able to understand what am i holding on to that i feel you're taking away from me and therefore i feel so repulsed by you or i feel so upset at you or i feel so much hatred towards you what is it what dream are you shattering that's why we say that most of the times anger is a secondary emotion what what do i mean by a secondary emotion it's not the full story you said something and i got angry at you the anger is usually covering a much deeper emotion i'm getting angry at you because something was triggered inside of me i feel something was taken away from me now we have to figure out what that is it could be coming from the nephesh of bahamas we're coming for the next shelter kiss what's tiff talking about the animal consciousness tiffany is very interesting i'm not only gravitating to these material cravings and candies and distractions he's proud of it he boasts about it he's fully in in english means he's cooked in it but really what it means is he's fully immersed this is his glory this is his beauty he's proud of it you know sometimes you gravitate to something this is what you want this becomes my glory this becomes my source of pride and beauty and dignity i'm boasting about it this is the cassette being expressed through tifares vineyards sometimes a person is not so powerfully gravitating to something he may be a little on the quiet side today maybe a little on the on the side it may be in a silent space meditative space maybe not so alive and vibrant not so animalistic but i'm not saying tell myself you want it i arouse myself i trigger myself i i i fight myself to create a craving the shallow says we say in al qaeda for the sin that i send with you to you with my eight sahara asks the sha allah all the sins are with the eight sahara i didn't understand of hanging then i saw it he quoted the shallow so the sha allah says i remember how the rabbis said it over says saddam over there it's a heart of illness doesn't want you're enticing he hits all that your child wants to go to sleep he's tired leave me alone dude late standing so this is the it's a harder deeper than they ate so hard but it's hard as fun and my natural inclination i'm not so excited netzach but my love towards it even if it's not so expressed it comes out of matzah you know what this means sometimes a person is going down a road of destruction you're really not interested in continuing but there's like i'm going to do it anyway i'm going to prove to myself that i want to do it you don't really want to it's almost like you have to fight yourself in order to destroy yourself sometimes people do it you see it in fights mccoy i'm going to prove it like i become delusional and now i'm suddenly fighting that fighting a battle that i'm not interested in because maybe once i was interested in it and now i have to prove that i wasn't wrong and therefore i'm fighting for it yeah it's ridiculous but that's what it is that's what it is the animal in me can be pretty primitive we say them is even if there's a position from the outside not only on the inside you're not interested it may even be humiliating for you for aiming they tell a person oh and may even be forbidden and promiscuous the person will fight it that this shall not hust for shalom quote unquote disturb his cravings or condition or or or of addictions a person is going somewhere you're going to be humiliated not only humiliated inside you'll be humiliated on the outside it can have detrimental consequences nonetheless the person makes sure to fight off all these fears and concerns so that my addiction could be fulfilled this is nets my cravings become so intense you become one with it you bond with it you're one shazam you don't have a craving this becomes your life this is like you you're your nephew you know some is there this is your sight this is a true observation is the right column netsuc is active you're actively fighting to overcome the forces inside of yourself that are stopping you and haid has an element of passivity to it as well height is on the left column which represents more withholding or passivity which means not allowing the naysayers to destroy you or to get to you holding holding your turf tightly you know not letting anybody cross into your boundary and and and and drain your mood or drain your resources or drain your passion and excitement that's true is more active more aggressive in a sense and hoyt is more passive it's holding on to what you have and that's probably one of the reasons that he says here that netsuck is overcoming what's inside because that i have to fight because it's inside of me you know ki barakam i gotta run away from it like we learned earlier and hoyd is on the outside so all i need is a good boundary like you're not getting close to me you're not gonna get to me you can embarrass me you could score me you could scream at me you know i got an email yesterday i got an email yesterday somebody you know who made a very ill-conceived decision in life uh not to give his wife a get and uh so i tried to help over there and it's really you know very really a good person essentially and very intelligent and bright and and full of miles but made a very ill-conceived decision and uh so i'm trying you know first i saw if this marriage could be saved i realized it can't so you know this is the right thing to let everybody go free and recreate their life so i got an email a person writes to me that the the more the more the more you negate me the more you you know the more the more the the more you negate me the more you tell me not to come to shul not to come to shoot him and this the worse it's gonna get the more the more i'm gonna be determined not to do it and then i realized you know this is this is i think what he's describing here like sometimes if you'll allow your own mind and your own heart to guide you you'll do the right thing but i have this this irrational mezza i'm going to overcome myself and it's very pathetic it's very sad or either nets or her height and then there's your side you saw this like a like an addict an addict is i'm not just doing it i'm completely connected to it there's no me and it where i'm completely entrenched in other words i lose control that's your sight you saw it in the positive is the full connection the full presence and what you saw with the animal you said in the animals animals don't have that i mean unless you you know you they they put heroin for for rats to get rats addicted but naturally animals are more you know they don't have an effect shall they kiss enough babies they just live healthy they try to you know to to live but we have this ability to be able to become connected to something in in in powerful ways of course that's the whole difference between the animal soul of a person and the animal soul of an animal the animal soul of an animal is doing exactly what god wants her to do [Laughter] the cow is being a cow we love it and the puppy is being a puppy and we don't have any issues and the elephant is being an elephant and the b is being a good b so we're going to go out here to collect the nectar and build the beehive etc but the person who has a divine soul and an animal soul there's a void there's an existential void there's a deep yearning for spiritual connection so now my animal is experiencing my animal and my divine experience a tremendous emptiness tremendous frustration existential angst or depression or a void or boredom a monotony we learned the miami of the altareba remember it wasn't in this year it was a lecture i gave for women it was called does judaism believe in in self-love dr ebba has the baltania has a mimer you heard it you heard the memory of the nail a few months ago it's a good class so he starts over the miami to understand the reason why all animals are happy and all trees are happy and all plants are happy and all creatures are happy what a beginning of a miami [Laughter] why are animals happy and they're not then they're not stressed and anxious and depressed well we should explain if an elephant of a calf if its mother is is is is killed of course the calf can have trauma and they have to nurture the the animal back to to security and safety because it's stuck in a very big danger zone but in the general life of an animal even when it experienced drama by an attack of a predator i told you once they shake it off and they go back then paula shakes off the trauma of the cheetah that almost killed it and then it goes back by a person we have language and we have stories that we tell ourselves so first of all we internalize things in a way that can become far more destructive than the reality itself so the nephew shall be because of its sophistication it has a choice to become worse than its natural design right because it's a sophisticated behavior that makes itself meshuga and it turns its bahamas it's behemoth into ms i take my fears and my insecurities and my trauma and i turned it i turn it into absolute truths and i live by those truths where other behaviors don't do that and the biggest thing is i have enough shell a kiss and an epheshilocus has a whole other set of paradigms and yearnings and longings so that creates the need for very deep spiritual connection and if i don't have that spiritual connection i need to numb myself i need to distract myself a person needs to feel good you can't live a life feeling miserable it's too hard we can't live in in continuous pain it's impossible that's why we have painkillers when you have a headache you take tylenol why not just live with migraines khashwa shalom we'll do anything to relieve ourselves from pain that's true physical pain emotional pain could be worse ask people who suffer from depression something a lot of people don't know about thank god they don't know about it i have a friend a student of mine for many years who suffers unbelievable person talented and skilled and successful successful person and a fine person came for years years to learn with me we used to learn my shirt and when i was living in brooklyn and suffers from acute depression very very deep people don't know because he's he has a company and he's active and has a beautiful family but he works on himself and he once told me he says nobody will know the pain the pain that i go through on a daily basis just to wake up in the morning and live and it was it was so humbling to see such a person and what he's suffering internal pain of depression is unbelievably painful people who don't understand they don't understand so when somebody has that pain and the more you're in touch with your nephew shall a kiss the more the void when you don't have a spiritual connection the deeper the need for distractions and addictions and numbers i'll do anything but get me out of my pain get me out of my self-consciousness get me out of myself i need to be drunk i'll be drunk i need a gamble i'll gamble i need to be on websites i'll be on websites i need to go to certain places i'll go to certain places and even when i don't want to go there i still have to go there because at this point it's me that's how you say it at this point i'm an addict i'm a full-blown addict it's not rational anymore it's not i'm fulfilling my taiwan based on what my mind says is good for me at the moment it's completely out of whack what does this really mean there's a miami from ultra rebellion he says i made it the covert he says that the deep love of the nephi shall accuse the hashem is manifested and expressed in all of the physical cravings why because the physical cravings are really a cover-up for that love in other words i'm looking for a steep spiritual connection but i don't have it so what do i do so i find my addiction i find my distraction and i gravitate to it till the point of your sight but what is it really it's really a spiritual yearning its outlet is destructive and ridiculous but the core of it is very holy and if i strip away the cover-ups the facades i'll be able to reveal that i'm looking for a very deep connection and that connection i can't get rid of you know addicts sometimes this is the truth of addiction all addicts are looking for a deep spiritual connection and that's why they become addicts and they'll never get rid of that sensitivity because they have it and they need to nurture it the choice is not whether you get rid of it or not the choice is what's going to be the outlet either you'll find a deep intense relationship with truth and divinity and transcendence and meaning or you're going to have to run and run and run to all of these things so that's why the nephesha bahamas of a person is completely different than the behemoth bahamas you understand anybody understands no feedback today and he finishes this chapter he finishes this chapter we call kach okay saw it and what happens is that even the magshava dibra mice of the person hey binyan mkhum it's not just inside my thoughts my words my actions are completely brute force and the person goes down with archibald the cloud varimasurum until it engages not just in animalistic cravings but in forbidden things things which are directly contrary to the blueprint of the human design and the human soul chazerwing and and this is the way the hasset of the animal soul is expressed in the real world so the rabbit just went through and if dalid the all the middles and this is a paradigm and a metaphor for all the other ones the same thing you can do with guru and tepherus and netsuke both the way in it is in the animal soul and the way it is in the divine soul let's take a look at questions question you said that is you love every person who manifests hashem's light this means we should love every animal and love every creature and love every plant even the inanimate because everything manifests hashem's light even people who diminish hashem's light through the eight sahara also have hashem inside of them so we should love all people ms ms ms if you learn well tanya chapter 32 this is what he discusses at length and he says over there that even though the gemara soccer feud gimbal speaks about hating certain people you show him so he gives a lot of qualifications the first thing is you have to make sure that the person is is makurav to you in other words the person understands toyota like you and mitzvahs like you and there was mitzvos you spoke to them and you rebuked them and they understood you and you know that they're continuing but amazing you have to make sure it's not personal it's not coming from your own you're my own ego my own inner negativity you have to really make sure that it's ms and then alternate continues somebody who's not close to you is not doesn't have that relationship with you so there was no mitzvahs he says then he says and even those jews where it says the mitzvah i hate them there's also a mitzvah to love them [Laughter] like sweet and sour chicken how can it be he says you hate them because of the ra that's inside of them but you love them it's and you always have to have mira sarah this is tiny pediclamid base at length so you're 100 percent right what's the difference between nets and yes it's a completely different world natsuki's victory overcoming obstacles overcoming challenges and the biggest challenges inside i'm not in the mood i'm dry and you have to overcome those things you know consistency you know consistency the ability to overcome you so it is the ability to bond it's a unique skill you spoke about gurus it is to hate those who are menage hashem does this fit in with the rashi nikmas hashem bemidjian that hashem says that whoever hates jews hates me so that's why it's a mitzvah to hate people like hitler who tried to destroy the jewish people and yiddish kite and only when we hate such people does it really mean that we love goodness yeah i think listen people who love evil and good they can't really love good if you love good you hate evil if you love goodness you hate horror if you love morality you despise immorality yosef knew how to connect he admits but his brothers didn't like him that's true he's saying he didn't connect with them they didn't understand them next question the foundational media of cassette provides the ability to communicate the inherent love and that's what you cite is we see that holocaust survivors were emotionally constipated even though they were loving and giving some of them listen it's very sometimes you know the emotions are very blocked it's very hard yeah the question is about your emotions and my emotions question why does the filter come before the middle it doesn't it doesn't it's an aspect of hassan the filter doesn't come before the mid the filter filters the mid it doesn't come before the middle in other words you have the aspect of the the ferrous aspect of hasseth then you'll have it the other way you'll have the way is expressed in kasat right and then the way to ferris is expressed in the with the weight of errors expresses kebura yeah somebody's mentioning a book of my brother rabbi simon jacobson on the counting of the emma ima he goes through he goes through the medicis in a person's avoid the 49 steps towards towards sri saying and also if you go to the yeshiva.net counting of the imer in the holidays so i did many of the days a short brief idea and i didn't do all the days but many of the days the way they apply to people's lives next question if a person is addicted which is yes and he implements the addiction which is then a person is stuck in his addiction unless hashem opens him up to give him a glimpse of the divine soul as mentioned people feel existential angst yeah so you need a person needs needs sometimes they hit rock bottom and then they're opened up sometimes they have a miracle before you know hashem shows them something or somebody helps them which is also coming from god and very often they destroy their life so badly that they're really driven to say i'm helpless and i need a new path and they become very very vulnerable it's a very difficult process it's a very admirable process some of us know people who went through this process of recovery and they're some of the greatest people because they're aware of the pitfalls they're aware of how dangerous their animal souls can get and they are amazingly aware of their real greatness and how they can achieve it that's true we always hope that we don't have to wait to hit rock bottom but we could see where we're going and we could sense the superficiality and the falsehood and instead of going down that path which brings ruin we go down a path which brings us truth and light and love thursday morning by ezra hashem which is area of lagramer of course we're going to continue this i hope in the meantime you'll review the mimer the first four chapters that we learned try to review it very fundamental ideas in avoidance hashem and exodus and yiddish guide and also you could prepare a language like these just remember elena you repair the rest for yourself as well and then we'll learn it question is it a fair assumption one second is it a fair assumption that for example the innumerable addicts of drugs and alcohol all have huge spiritual potential yes it's a fair assumption and i believe that it's very very true in fact we have a therapist we have a therapist online who just put up this uh this zoom signal because he deals with it i think all day or much of the day or often and that's absolutely true i've already told you once what i heard from dr twersky yeshua about addicts and this is basically what he said yeah yeah go ahead jake ask ask in each one yes it's amazing how much there is yeah that's why this 49 days because seven times seven now you could continue further it goes it gets sub subdivided as well the animal soul is also multifaceted and it has all these middays and expresses itself in so many different ways these th what we learned today is not the only way in which the media is expressed the the rebel was giving one one description one very vivid illustrative one vivid description to illustrate one way in which the nephilim kiss is expressed through hesed and which the reference is expressed but in each person's life there's so many facets and dimensions but this gives us like the baseline of how to view it of how to understand it in other words i'm angry at somebody right i'm angry i hate you i feel like i hate you and everybody says well wait that looks like vura right but do you know what it's channeling it's channeling something deeper it's channeling something i feel that i'm connected to and you're taking away from me or you're coming in between me and that or maybe something i want from you that you're not giving me whatever it is and i have to be able to understand where it's coming from is it coming from my animal souls it's coming from my godly soul okay we're going to continue this mimer hashem thursday morning 7 30 a.m i wish you all an amazing day a beautiful day and a day of alignment a day of alignment between your two souls so that they can become one when i say they can become one i don't mean necessarily they're going to be mamish one every moment not every one of us will always experience that level of alignment but it is something that is that belongs to us and we're each capable of in our own unique way to be able to appreciate more and more alignment the oneness the the the connection the fusion and not live in dichotomies it starts with awareness and then slowly we can bring it to the place of execution and implementation have a beautiful day okay i'll take one last question okay somebody says here thank you for your answers but i meant more from the point of view that so many people at least appear to be utterly degenerate from a moral perspective intellectually bankrupt they are heroin addicts can we really assume that even in such cases there is spiritual potential and the answer is yes yes not only that what i'm explaining in the class is that the addiction is a manifestation of spiritual potential they don't know it i know that they don't know it and their addiction may kill them god forbid with overdose and other methods it may kill them and we pray for them and we hope and we dream and we yearn and we have to help them in every way possible by not and not enable them of course but they have to understand they're the ones who have to understand and we are the ones who have to communicate in every possible way that the addiction is usually a manifestation of spiritual potential not only that if you want to know the truth dr twersky told me i heard this from his mouth a few years ago we were in boca together and he told me that after 60 years of dealing with addicts i i'm not i'm not a therapist i'm not a psychiatrist i don't deal with addicts on a daily basis not my field of work but i've known a lot and but dr twersky spent a lifetime on this and he told me i heard this from his mouth and in the chabad school of boca raton i remember where i was standing and dr torski told me that after 60 years of learning about addiction i think he said it also the speech to everybody if i'm not mistaken but i heard it from his mouth he could tell me he could tell us that uh the addicts among us are usually the most spiritually sensitive they're the most spiritually sensitive and because of that they could not deal with the pain like other people who can just you know you have a piece of cheesecake and you move on you do a little uh sin here or there you do this you do that and you move on they couldn't deal with it they're too sensitive they're too pure they couldn't just push away the angst the pain is too deep the hypocrisy kills them the politics kills them the lies kill them the deception kills the void kills them any form of self-consciousness that many of us can deal with they can't deal with so they had to run away to extremes and because the angst is so deep they always need more and more and more and more to be able to distract them even more and then at some point they lose the plot midday side they're completely connected to it they don't even know themselves as an addict i know he's in recovery now for many years he used to go to uh to clubs where he would engage in promiscuous relationships constantly and he told me says you don't understand there was no person anymore i was not a person my whole brain is a smart kid my whole brain was being used to figure out how to manipulate how to lie and how to get to the next craving and how to fulfill it there's no person there's no night there's no day there's no self there's no other there's just the addiction it's already described this is this moment that ever says the hazard is real it's very it's very powerful and that the animal soul is not bad but when the animal soul doesn't know who it is right it could become a monster that's why you need swedish that's why you need to have to work on your nephesh of bahamas you have to tell the nefesh bahamas i know you want to live but there's only one real source of life and it's ms avaya kim ms by the way there's another nephesh of bahamas i didn't discuss it today he speaks here about tives cynicism do you know what cynicism is that's the animal scared it's a scared animal that's why you're cynical you know anybody who's cynical anybody knows anybody who's cynical they bought um i thought they're ready after all of my modern we lost it a little bit oh so there's two types of cynicism the cynicism that comes and i really want to make sure i understand and i really want to make sure that i'm not fooling myself but there's another cynicism that comes out of fear the cynicism that comes out of out of out of fear fear of connection fear of being hurt my sins will come from a place where i prefer not to trust so it's very good to always see these things you know because sometimes cynicism can stop us from experiencing the greatest blessings and the greatest truth and the greatest love because i'm like i'm not going to get hurt again i'm not going to let you in i'm not going to let the truth so these are all things it's a scared animal i get it an animal who's scared you know they sometimes in the wild they capture elephants babies whose parents have been killed whose mother has been killed or or or taken whatever usually killed for their for their for their ivory and these elephants will not trust anybody it takes so much time so we have the same thing i i'm not trust i was hurt i was hurt i was traumatized so this is my nephew bahamas is very very scared we have to understand it and it's going to develop that and it needs the tlc to be able to help it to realign with the inner infinity of a person's soul which is the nephili kiss which is kami and therefore it has that freedom right sometimes the cynicism is coming because there's a lot to be cynical about if i'm in a place where there's where there's lies and deception and corruption and manipulation the cynicism is a healthy reaction it's like this is weird this is not good right the problem is i become so cynical i don't know how to become uncynical right you know the mice think of all the mice i don't know the difference i don't i just think i have to always be cynical because i don't want to get hurt it's like i don't trust anybody ever again and then you hear divorce i am and i can't absorb it because my uh m.o my mother suffered everybody is corrupt by me i understand it but it's a little scared and a little scared animal so these are all different types and it's expressed in guru anti fairies what's tiffaris of cynicism you boast with your cynicism you're proud of it you're proud you think you the islamic of the generation because you know the politics everywhere and you're closed off to the so it's expressed in so many different ways and there's so many different situations where i'm reacting from a place of fear and survival and it's not coming from a bad thing i'm trying to i'm trying to live like my animal that's what an animal is but what's happening is i can't be fully alive i can't be fully connected to myself i can be fully i can't trust life because i don't have that flow the divine flow that vibrates through me for yeshla haider because we could speak about this for many days weeks and months but i think this is enough to think about for today have a beautiful day everybody i'm very cynical about people that reject science because uh they think science comes from uh magic opposite from a lacuse so maybe from nephesh behind us and for me it's just basically rejecting the spiritual aspect of uh so well tell them to learn tell them to read sukhiti zimra they should have come on mexico december it's all about science not to be afraid the truth is that if you talk about science and physics today the vocabulary is completely spiritual and and i think i think that uh that the people don't know what people don't know they don't know they don't know you have to have compassion sometimes it's ignorance i mean just the idea of einstein just the idea of einstein known by his fa which is propagated with his famous equation but idea that light light is transformed into matter and matter can be transformed back into energy just that idea right is literally taken it's not that he means it that way but the vocabulary of of of kabbalah the vocabulary of siddhis is that everything begins with irish and then through condensing of the energy everything is light and through the condensing of that light and the filtering of that light through myriads and myriads of processes and filters that's what turned into matter and huh i'm just giving i'm just giving just that just that idea itself that the physical world is really spiritual energy is is is is the hallmark of physics today especially quantum mechanics which einstein didn't even talk about i just want to emphasize one point yoshikaya thank you very much and thank you to baden thank you everybody else for all your comments and insights somebody asks here yes it's important to have self-awareness of our weaknesses our challenges for example my cynicism but is it really a good idea to form a self-image defined by our weaknesses and that which brings us into vanity for example should i be saying i'm such a cynical or pessimistic girl or ma a guy or girl etc so i think that's that's another trap where awareness should never lead to characterization where that becomes the summation of your personality not at all you always have to be aware of your spiritual core and purity and your divine essence i may be struggling with something but that struggle doesn't define my essence and my core and i always have the ability to be able to live in a space of much deeper alignment and quality and awareness for example one of the things we learned is which was an incredible idea that the person himself is not interested at the moment but i triumph over myself to make sure i have a craving this is incredible i don't have a craving but i'll i'll i'll i'll create the craving i'll fight myself to say no you do want because i'm i'm so i'm looking for some excitement in my life so even though i really know i'm already bored of it it's not doing the trick the question is not on fire but the nets are i'll fight myself to find the truck in this the moment you become aware of this you're not trapped by it then you can make choices and the same is true with all of the other all of the other components have an amazing day with all the seven middles we missed you to barden but it's still a privilege and a pleasure to have you at least at the end of this year this class is brought to you by the yeshiva.net please help us continue the classes make even a small contribution at www.theyshiva.net donate