The True Function of the Mind is to Allow My Deepest Emotions to Dwell in Infinity

anybody has any questions before we continue it was a very deep discussion last year so i'm just wondering if it's clear i don't know if it's clear if it's a little clear i know it's a great question it's a great question should we even try to understand any of this right and i think that you know coupled with the humility that we're dealing basically with what the mimer calls iron i in as i often translate is not nothingness it's no thingness no thingness that's what nothingness is which means not that it's nothing it's actually everything it's not defined by a thing no thingness not nothingness no hyphen thing hyphen any ss in other words it's not defined by things by a thing it's not fixed it doesn't have a certain image or color and it's an iron where everything is born where all newness comes from because real newness is not being stuck not being a thing but going to going back to the space of no thingness where new things can emerge from iron and the first bridge from no thing-ness to thing-ness is as the passive says in mishlai the may i intimate as i said in the previous class the ulti rebels explanation in this passage is it's based on a zayar based on a gemara insider emerges from iron it's our contact with iron so do we understand it can i wrap my brain around i know because if i could wrap my brain around it it's not it but just to tell me that i shouldn't go there i shouldn't deal with it i should ignore it it's really ignoring my fundamental essence because everything emerges from i in the world is yes so we talk about it and we remember that as much as we talk about it silence is always much deeper than any word and that's why the meditative experience of it is far more authentic than the conversation about it because by definition you're dealing with something that you grasp through silence much more than through words is even silence adequate to grasp it also not even silence is a form of yesh but it's just one step deeper one step higher and this is the journey of a person the journey of a person is to be able to go deeper and deeper into my iron where everything in my life becomes aligned with my ultimate true essence and the ultimate true essence so that's why we learned it i hope i answered your question i'm not sure i did but so what have we been what have we been exploring here a lot after a whole long discussion of midos and seikel and mahashava and hergish meaning that the mimer explained that middays are deeper and truer and so to speak more authentic than segal seiko is what my soul cultivates possesses me this is who i am it's it's the color of my soul so to speak it's a mirror of characteristics that are embedded in the essence and a long explanation what that means which we discussed in the previous classes after a long explanation than how we see that sacral ideas rational ideas perspectives thoughts verbal thoughts pre-verbal thoughts but thoughts values impact emotion which is herders the visceral experiences of the body where i emotionally react and he explained that it's not never that sacral creates bidis no sekhal is a mire mukhim that's the word it's a mire makkan it's like a street sign that points it gives the primal drives it gives our primal drives information that it needs in order to be able to be aroused triggered birthed it brings it out but it does not create it the chemistry of the media and the origin of the media and the dna of the media is not formed by seiko ever on the contrary the media is much deeper than the circle what the sequel can do is can give birth birth to the media and yes we speak about feelings and emotions that are always born from awareness and born from ideas and born from cognitive processes hence we talked as the concept of of cbt the power of cognition of awareness in terms of my responses my emotional responses and reactions which are based on the way i see things on the way i process things on the way i understand things that's all true and that's where the cycle seemingly has such a powerful impact on the middles but he says nonetheless they never created me this they tune in to a pre-existing media and give it a form and allow it to be birthed by categorizing by labeling and therefore pulling out the primal drive from its from its its its internal powerful intense primal and primitive state and and coming out and that's a very powerful process and yet he still wondered how seiko can have any impact on me this any influence on this when really in the world of primal midis of primal drives seiko really is no master nor does it even exist it's not about the boss and it doesn't exist that's all from previous year and i know that this is this is complicated this is heavy stuff go back if you need to go back and you could replay double speed single speed and learn it over what is even more we learned about how meters exist in every person at every age from day one from the from the moment you're born and he says why because me this is just the mirror of the soul and if you have a soul you have middles not like seychelles certainly the expression can be very uh when you say seikal again what do you exactly mean i mean every person has some the brain functions for a person to live but the process that we call sexual organized intellect and discernment he says a lot of stages and you need development etc when it comes to media is primal drives no difference you see this person is not about middles there are and they're there by a child the day is born nonetheless we see that the middles go through major developmental states in kabbalah it's called ibr yanika which we also explained and associated with the amygdala the limbic brain which is part of the amygdala system and the prefrontal cortex and our media is really grow he says this godless they grow and they develop and they mature in different stages that he spoke about also very intricate ideas about how media meadows developed but how can that even be that seiko my development of of awareness and discernment can have any impact at all even just being a marumaka and certainly on the actual nature of the midas and this is where lubavitch introduced the idea that even if you're going to say that sexual impacts mean is only when they're weak when they're not in their primal intense state it's when the animal is is much is much more meek and therefore more receptive but how does it even get to that place you can't say that that seiko does it because you just said that when the media is our primal seikal has no end and here that i've introduced in chapter six of this my mirror what real seiko means real seijo real intellect real cognition is not here to give rationalizations or explanations or justifications real seiko is not only here to give objective analysis yeah that's what we like to do we like to give analysis and we like to give perspective and we like to discern things the real nakuda of cycle is to introduce me to bittel to age self to iron to nothingness that's what the real objective of cycles the real objective of sequel is to take me out from the realm of thingness and introduced me to the realm of nothingness in the language of siddhis bittle to align me or to open me up to infinity this is the real objective of sales yes i know cycle is rational and objective and and and it's it's it looks to explain things and categorize things that's all true but when you speak about the objectivity of sega what is the real core of it it's the real ability to be able to go out to transcend identity and align identity with the core of it with the core of me that transcends identity identity is yesh it's thingness it's fixed ion is nothingness like you called it before the empty space real seiko is here to help me open me up to that space within sakhal itself this is the function of and it's why he quoted from the tanya 34 chapter 35 that the altar is channeled in every world even in the highest world of utsilos only through the [Music] it's the true true oneness it's the true echad it's the ms it's the true unity because it's infinite it's all it's everything nothing is excluded in ain't safe nothing has to be amputated he alone is he and there's nothing outside of him nothing has to be outside of because real ain't safe is everything it encompasses everything it's the source of everything and this is what touches on all the other faculties in a person ultimately are defined by identity by an eye is the bridge from an eye from a finite eye to the eye that transcends inus i know i made up a word i hyphen and ess it transcends the vehicle for what right so so no that's the real function of the real function of circle which begins with is that's the real nakuda of sechel the real ponemius of sekhal yeah we look at seiko as yeshus he says that's not seiko we look at seychelles you know analysis genius he says no real indian of secular is objectivity what's real objectivity real objectivity doesn't mean i'm going to be cold i'm going to be detached real objectivity means that i can open myself up to ayan and that's the and that's in that's the could be a bridge a channel for ainsaif because the definition of ain't scythe is if you i'm using the word definition i know that's not the best word but the definition of ainsev is who love that it's all that it's oneness that is nothing outside of it that's the definition of ain't life who can be tough is this only that which doesn't have an i what doesn't have an eye and that's the real premise of cycle the real premise of shaykh is not intellectual analysis that's the lavush that's the garment the real premise of seikel is to open myself up to the space of no highness of no i of high but no i have higher than i which is the real eye which is the real life it's not no i it's it's the real eye it's not the eye of the age it's the eye of ayatma excellent question you're asking you can't pull yourself up by the hair of your head because you're the one pulling huh you can't pull yourself up through the strings of your boots or the strings of your the shoelaces so you're saying how can the eye open myself how can my eye open myself up to that which transcends my eye when that itself is happening through my eye that's a great question we call that confirmation bias right there's always a bias i'm doing it so i'm always there to control it to manipulate it that's why the word bitter is so important the word bittle means that i'm ready to let go now how can i be ready to let go if it's me letting go so the answer the hasidis answer to that is because the true real truth of my eye is transcendence the real truth of my eye is not ego the real truth of my eye is iron so i want to open myself up to the real real me so to speak but yes there are layers and i always have to work through those layers and not be afraid of ayah but i think what he's saying then is that the real subject that the real eye throughout the whole time that one is doing the big though before after is really the eye of what yeah yeah that's yeah my eye and hashem's eye are one and that bridge yeah is that bridge yeah very well and this is the idea of the impact of sacral over midas it's not that seiko has control over midness never it's not that segal can even tell me this what to do it's not even that cycle it's not that seikol develops me this and as we said midis are deeper in the southern circle but when my primal drives are introduced through through to infinity this is not a war on the primal drives this is not manipulating them this is not controlling them this is opening them up to their own iron to their own true mitzius it's allowing the primal drive to experience a scythe when the primal drive experiences a safe it can relax so segal allows the primal drive to become deeper to become even more authentic to become even more true to itself what is its true self that it comes from ain't safe that it's in a reflection of ain't self through a particular primal drive through hessed through gura through tavares through nazar through through his mouth as we said aesiph is channeled in every world through khacham by definition is me this means a shape a size and that's why primal drives are so embedded in me because i have a certain shape my soul has a certain color a certain size if seiko is combating middles it's never going to work that's why you could sit in therapy or sit by a person and they'll explain to you why your middles are off it's irrelevant it's ineffective if seikel is coming as an enemy to the middle i'm gonna teach you i'm gonna show you you're in you're stupid you're a you're an idiot you're immature you're a baby you're not dealing with the world of midas you're creating a cover-up which looks like seikel and you're never really tuning into the world of middles the world of middles remain as is untouched unscathed and therefore as wounded as before the real function of seiko especially is bitter not to have a position not to tell you how to feel and what to feel or what not to feel and try to do a surgery on your middles which seiko will never be able to do because midos come from the essence these are my primal drives much of life is colored by thoughts yeah yeah very good so that's the challenge what right right so so so so here here is one of the core issues and i see here this as one of the most important points being said here we often use segal listen to this because we're afraid of middles we are fearful of our primal drives they are too intense they are too serious they are too primal they are too powerful they are too ferocious and i want to i want to like get into the closet you get into the closet you know in the adventure in in you go to amusement parks i mean we go with camp there's six flags of these these and they have these games of things popping up and you have to you have to knock them down these men should like these little people they pop up boom you have like a hammer boom boom boom boom another one pops up another one pops up another one pops up so that's why how we use seiko it's like you mean this are popping up go back into hiding you share it you may come back go into hiding that's the exact opposite and that doesn't work because you're afraid of your middays in other words the medias are going to win what do i mean they're going to win they're going to come back to haunt me i'm not dealing with them i'm using my circle because of my fears my traumas that they're feeding into my insecurities or my fears or sometimes my traumas or or my anxiety or my pain or my wounds whatever it is and they want to control the middles and like do a surgery on the middles he says you don't understand what midas are the real language of seiko the healthy language of cycle is the language of alignment with ainseif that you're not fixed you're not limited you're not a thing you come from no thingness and when seiko especially introduces that reality now the middles can just melt in ecstasy with their own oneness with their own ancestors that's what it means seiko could make when the midnight cycle creates a weakness in the middle east weakness doesn't mean the middles become weak as losing their power they can relax they open up because sachel spoke the language of ainsa introduced ainslief not fear not fear of the mid and he went into the long explanation about the difference of rutsen and tainog desire and pleasure both are the i they're not ideas this is my desire and my pleasure but he said the difference is tainough is who i am ratson is what i want tainan is who i am ratson is what i want and therefore tynuk is so to speak deeper than russia tainug affects reality through closeness rutsen affects reality through distance through authority this is what i want when tainuk comes out in a lower conscious space it's when ratsen comes out in a lower conscious space it's midas so the pinimiya is really aligned with the panimya satyanug with etzeman fish somebody wrote after last class just something that was meaningful i want to read one of our very loyal uh students dedication yeah loyal and dedicated and thoughtful the mimer is teaching me that the experiences that i can't wrap my brain around because i'm not able to make sense out of them are as much part of reality as the experience and the experiences that my brain can process and make sense of this is so vital for my healing especially when we experience trauma and this person i should say experienced a lot of trauma throughout their life sadly especially when we experience trauma which consists of experiences that we cannot process we cannot digest they just don't make sense how do i ever heal from that space which never ever could be accommodated by my being by my rationality by my brain for example if i need surgery and a surgeon makes an incision in my belly it won't be traumatic because i can wrap my brain around it i understand why he's doing it yeah he's cutting open my stomach because he wants to remove something dangerous something that might kill me but if i'm attacked by against gangster and that gangster stabs me i won't be able to digest that experience my brain can't hold such an experience it doesn't make sense why is he doing this to me and imagine a child who goes through these things a child who goes through abuse a child who goes through neglect a child who grows up in institutions or homes that don't understand him and he feels alone this becomes trauma healing happens when i can begin to make room for those experiences and find some meaning some sense the plays that can allow me to hold all these senseless experiences that we can't wrap our brain around is in the reality of silence in a consciousness of iron when we try to integrate trauma into the world of yesh it's a constant combat that i will never win this miner is showing us from where ultimate healing sprouts from the reality of i in a place of surrender of humility a place where the mind can stay with experiences that can't be wrapped around our brain experiences of chaos and uncertainty and one does not feel homeless anymore because this is a place where all my chaos can live with respect and with compassion and that's what i'm learning here that the experiences that i can't wrap my brain around because i'm not able to make sense of them are as much part of reality as the experiences that my brain can process and make sense so this is very very beautifully put very beautifully put and healing so this is really what does and that's why can be so healing for the middles it never contradicts the middles it never fights them in this no it it allows the middles to become to become so much more real it gives space for all of my deepest deepest primal drives because it's not afraid of iron is my bridge to iron that's what it is and once that happens the primal drives they're not being negated they're not being stabbed at they're not being traumatized they're not being repressed they find a home in iron they find a home in bittel because everybody finds a home in iron because if it's real iron it's never exclusionary you get it everybody finds a home in iron in yeash depends how rich you are right depends how popular you are depends how good looking you are depends how smart you are depends how affluent you are depends where you live depends who you rub shoulders with not everybody can get in not everybody can get in but an iron everyone has a home everybody has a home because ayn is not afraid of anything it's not afraid of anybody it it doesn't have to it's not stereotypical it doesn't make sense so stereotyping it's not afraid so that's where the media is the deepest deepest middles which are etsa manafesh find a home and that's what he says real hachem is an expression of tainog and rutsen always responds to tainok let's now go save zion again it's the bottom of page 148. um i'll put the i'll put the source sheets here in the chat and the zoom if somebody wants to open it page 148 or you can also go to the yeshiva.net t-h-e-y-e-s-h-i-v-a dot net and you have it over there based on all of this will understand that this is a mirror of how it is are primal they're intense and they're not going to go through changes we're talking about hashem kamehameha the passage says in small isle of that's what in the level of motion awareness cognition this is called adam this is what makes you an adam on other missile over this changes there has to be changes yesterday i thought this today i think this my mind developed my brain develops there's no ideas there's no angles there's new details there's no reality there's new data there's no information there's maturity there's opening up yourself to new ideas it's all about changes and growth that's the definition of real science and of real intellect if i say this is an idea and i'm stuck in this idea forever it's not an idea it's a bias when you come to the world of media is the chariot which raises you have it the the the the navi haskell speaks about the myself cover so he has all of those angels who are carrying a throne and on the throne you have an adam it's called adam so in kabbalah the angels carrying the throne as syria the throne is brief the adam on the throne is attilas generally adam is represented by mayhem by intellect by sekha but then there is raising the adam to a place of lawyer he's not an adam to regret things literally it means he's not an adam he's not a person he's not going to change his mind that episode is something much deeper the world of shaykh is all about change that's the world of adam but then there's the world of loya adam layadam is beyond other because tsar comes from attic this is he said earlier in the mayan merits i'm not going to get into it but earlier in the moment explains which are middles come from attic or mission and because of this midais what are media is here me does we're talking now about the primal the primal drives of the person the primal drives for example my longing for attachment that's an example of a primal drive my longing for attachment my need for attachment as we call it today attachment disorder or my need gura my need my longing for authenticity to be me all the explanations in the world i'm not going to change those primal drives the same is true with teferes nets this comes from arctic arctic means this is who i am and it's not because it makes sense it's not because you gave me explanations it's not because it's rational it's not because i read a book on philosophy or i read a book on psychology and therefore i have these books can impact me we spoke about the impact but the core media is not going through a change it's not being changed it's not being altered and that's where the take of the primal energy and ferociousness of midness comes from the cause of it is this is even true when you're talking about midness of the world of tikkun where there is generally integration and interconnection interconnectedness is kind of a common it is to tell you if you're talking about the middles in the world of toyo in the world of chaos and in the world of taiyo and a person shane with taikofey sir which are even more intense the clothes are is the taiyo himba takeov because generally the sphere is the characteristics in taiyo are much more intense especially though amid and shane but takeoff are even more powerful there's even more intensity in his boiler explained before the same but take off why is so powerful why are they more powerful than seche why are they so intense because they're primal because they're pre-verbal because they're primarily because they're pre-sequel they represent the essential soul again he uses this fabulous expression they mirror characteristics that are rooted in the essence of your soul and he calls it hashtag it's rooted in the most deepest fashion in the essence of your soul that's why they're so primal they're pre-verbal they're pretty much over and that's why we call them midais like emotions even though emotions may not be the right word here because emotions i may not feel it in my body i may not have a visceral reaction but it's not just an idea my primal drive is not just an idea it's who i am it implodes or it explodes it consumes me this is who i am this is not just an idea it's not a thought the kivan shah take it from its so the intensity of mid is the the strength of midis comes because of their source what they're reflecting they're not reflecting an idea they're reflecting me how they move so in the world of tayo because there's two worlds there's the world of tahoe there's the world of tikkun in kabbalah we have taiyu preceding tick and god first creates a world of chaos it gets destroyed and on the rubble of tayo he creates tikkun we explain this in many my modern what this means the synergy the the connection between the lights and the vessels and toyo is very different configuration than the world of tikkun the world of tickle and the vessels are larger than the lights in the world of toyo the lights were larger than the vessels the containers couldn't contain the light so the containers got crushed from the intensity of the light and the lights also couldn't get along with other lights because each one was infinite and on the debris of the destruction of tayu is bill tikkun so all of us are made up of two worlds we have within us the ten spheres of tahu and with within us the tents furious he says even in the world of tikkun even there the medias are extremely intense in the world of tayo they're even more ferociously powerful than primal battalion because in taiyo everything emerges the way it's in its source there's no filter in tayu that's the problem of toyo it's like people who have no filters you know those people you ever meet a person no filters right they're very refreshing yeah but it's not it's not easy for everybody right we all live with filters they tell you your mommy taught you manners and you hopefully your tatty taught you manners and what to say what not but there are people who don't have any filters they possibly don't have filters toyo has no filters what do they say yiddish ba ba shikar versus athen lung is often sung anybody ever heard that expression by a drunk whatever is in the lungs whatever is in the stomach whatever is inside it comes out on the tongue that's why he's drunk it was i think put him so he said that there was a yid his name was he was murdered by the stalinist communists in 1938. he was a very very big man a big hassan instead of kanye miros he said with siddharth he would take moshka he would drink himself and he would speak very real and very he was a very very real person called the panime very authentic person she used to say he said what do you think you think i'm taking because i need to be drunk to say this no i need you to think that i'm saying it because i'm drunk so you won't get insulted i can say it all day i need you to think that i'm drunk so you won't get insulted i in other words [Laughter] in toyo there's no filter there's mom there's no filter that's the words he used but toyohai is gallows and tell you things emerge the way they are in their primal state they don't go through a process of of condense condensing and filtering and restricting and thinking some of us it becomes crazy like before we experience an emotion there's like a hundred security guards asking well well wait show me your ticket and by the time the emotion wants to come out in my body it already says you know what i'm going home it's like you go to some to some event or some show and there's so many lines and there's so many tickets and you're being scrutinized so much it's like forget it let me just stay home this is what happens to us my immediates want to come out but there's so many police and there's so many security guards anybody relates to what i'm saying my sister show me your ticket who gives you a right to be here and my middles are like i'm not going to hang out here i'm out they don't disappear they just go in to a deeper place and they come out in different ways sometimes not very productive ways because filters can also be very dangerous filters can be amazing if they allow something to be channeled in a productive and meaningful and real way but filters can be very damaging if they obstruct the flow and they don't allow your truth to come out it's like kids who grow up with filters on their mouths and on their hearts a filter on your mouth mailer but a filter on your heart is dangerous that's why we need the world of tayo the world of toyo is destructive it's self-destructive that's why there's tickle but you need taiyu you need tayo because taken can also be destructive by being too much tickled by being too structured the full intense source comes out versus often long is often the way it's in the source it emerges even though in toyo the revelation is only what's called the kitsonius of the world of he's going here into a whole new reality we learned if you remember you could you could watch it if you want to understand what he's saying here we learned that it's on the yeshiva.net means bound it's bound up everything is one nukudim is the world of tayo where everything is pointed the kudas and burudin is the world of integration and those are the three types of sheep that yaakov dealt with when he was by love and akurdib are three states of reality this is a major theme entire purchase we learned all mimer explained it they're a flag if you want to watch it you can go to the yeshiva.net terra interior this tire part is nice all mimer about this he says even though toyo comes after rakudam and it's only the revelation of the externals of akudev and he says that's true doesn't give everything but whatever it gives it gives it the way it is without filters and tick on its only array this means that in tahu the middays are even more intense more primal the after shattering polish and therefore there's no way that my intellect can affect them because of this primal intensity no cell can affect them i they premium opinious which which essentially the premieres of abba is preemies attack means the core tainough of a person generally we have the faculties of seikul is then we have the seven meadows above it we have something called kesse in kessar there's two spaces arith and attic in this is rutsen is desire that's arif and attic is tainug pleasure which is deeper than arach so that explained that already explained it that ponemy is atik which says in kabbalah the deepest core of is the deepest core of attic that's what he explained in the previous chapter that is a reflection of tainog and midis are a reflection of razan so panimi is abba the deepest pyrimi is the core core if you go to the deepest core of you can trace it back to its ultimate core what is it it's premium it's the epitome is it's who i am it's the essence of the song when that's introduced into the world of the middles then pilbarm is then the middles can experience a bittle they can open up they can relax they don't have to be so uptight and intense because they're introduced through and then sagel can affect them in very positive ways in all of the ways that we explained earlier by opening the middles to the world of the bitter compass of the integration when it happens when there's no filter and then the vessels integrate and help help that because i i think in in in hasidic literature it's easy to get from my own personal experience sometimes the difference between self abnegation and self destruction in a sense really overlap right right somebody just wrote and it touches on this somebody just wrote midos i think cannot contradict seiko because there can't be contradictions in reality when it comes down to it so another solution to accepting irrational middles and situations such as a gangster attacking you god forbid may be to truly understand what occurred as opposed to running from understanding for example understanding that the gangster may be hungry and starving and he needs some money or he has no power and no validation and that's what he's looking for and that might dominate the trauma even better than accepting it blindly hmm did you ever try to do this whoever wrote this many of you are going like this like that's not how you deal with trauma don't use your explanations okay interesting so let's uh you want a practical illustration for this it's a great question and that's that's the ultimate question after everything we learn what does this mean in my life in a very real and authentic way so i think we have to sit with this and daven with it and meditate with it and reflect on it but also live with it and i think one way one one thing we could learn from we could learn a lot of things but i think one thing that becomes i think very powerfully relevant is the idea that you don't have to be afraid of your meetings and don't try to change your midis or your wife's middays or your husband's mid-days or your children's mid-days or your students with this people have been asking me somebody wrote a whole email and a comment i don't understand they learned that the whole purpose of life is to change your middle eas tikkun hamidas right there's even expressions and expression of the altitude that he told the alternate episode the function of hasidis is to change and it comes even from sadly gone he said the purpose of life is so i'm gonna ask this person who asked this question to please go back to chapter two of the mind because he asked this right at the beginning of the mimer so you're not it's a great question but he asked this right at the beginning of the mimer and he explained over there and i'm just repeating it but you could read it more at length of course i was created and i have to work on myself and learn to become a better person and a more authentic person and a kinder person and a more empathetic person a more understanding person and that means working on my needles we always talk about working on your middle east there's nothing being contradicted here how do you work on your midas that's the question not if you have to work a business what does it mean to work on my middles the mind is not saying don't work on your middles what does it mean to work on my medicine he's trying to help me work on my middles what does it mean so he says if you really want to work on your middles you have to understand what they are and understand what they're not that's the only way you could work on something imagine you say work on this person to influence it but you don't even know anything about this person if you want to work on your midnight you have to understand some basic truths about them and that is that every single media every single emotion that you're experiencing can be traced back to very authentic primal drives in me and those primal drives you cannot get rid of you don't have to get rid of them this is your neshama this is your schlisses this is your dna it's like saying work on your dna and change it you don't work you don't change your dna this is your life this is your life this is me this is my neshama i don't have to change that i need to respect it i need to embrace it i need to look at it with compassion and then and then i can help my needs become the greatest source of my light because your middles are not bad it's how my meters are being channeled or how my middles are being understood by me or how my middays are being processed through my mind and through my fears the fears in my mind where the meters can go through all of these types of processes that ultimately could cause them to be channeled sometimes in very negative ways or sometimes destructive ways or depressing ways but when i can open myself up to the true energy of the middles what they really are and really appreciate what they are really appreciate now i could really work on my middles and the first thing you have to understand is that middays don't change that's the first thing you have to understand if you want tikkanamindas what do i mean they don't change that my deepest primal drives are not subject to shinoyum this is who i am this is my soul this is the shape of my soul and if i deny it if i deny it and i say no it's not real it's not important i'm denying my reality and therefore i'm denying the light that i'm channeling into the world that's a good question that's a good question now because as this person wrote because some of us suffered from trauma and there's people sitting here i know who suffered from a lot of trauma and are dealing with it for decades and i'm talking about some real abuse unfortunately and by the way trauma doesn't have to look very dramatic just for the record there's a cumulative trauma over years but what a person does is they don't trust themselves they don't know themselves they are triggered they are wounded in very very deep places what all of these types of experiences do is they actually take me away from my meters my middles are being channeled they're coming out in all types of strange and destructive ways and that's why segal is so important understanding awareness but only when the sacral is not here to combat the medes when the sacral is here to open the middles to aim so if that mid is our game if my primal drives feel that you're going to open me up to infinity then i'm in if you're going to take me away from infinity then i'm going to hide even more whereby sometimes the final drive getting one closer to infinity can take one further from connecting in well maybe maybe you're saying that's dangerous but maybe i'm not defining it well so maybe i don't think it's dangerous i'll explain what i mean it's dangerous because you think infinity takes you away from people but here he's saying the exact opposite it's allowing my primal drives to find a home to find a space and therefore they can actually flow through my life in a seamless way and i'm not afraid of them and i don't have to restrict them and i have to manipulate them and they don't have to come out in different ways and i don't need survival skills a lot of trauma is i develop survival skills to be able to live and i'm now living by those survival skills and i don't even know it you understand i'm just trying to survive it's like fight or flight because certain parts of my brain didn't develop so my primal drives are being protected through all of these types of defense mechanisms that are constantly happening and functioning in me i space out i detach i'm angry i'm resentful i'm frightened what is that all those are all real feelings they're all real feelings and they're feeding off my primal drives but there's so much fear over there that my identity is so restricted and i'm operating from such a small place of survival without the expansiveness so now you scream at those primal drives to get with the program they're going to hide even more unless i can open open myself up to the full glory of my primal drive bitter ain't safe opens up the primal drives opens up the middles to their full glory to their full potential to their full infinity it's connecting the adam to the adam and the lawyer them to even a deeper space and then what can happen is it can become a unity and a flow from the inner to the outer so that my relationships in this very real world with me with my spouse with my kids with my siblings with my parents with other people with strangers with friends with acquaintances with very close people is one in which there is a flow we call it the flow you become a channel there's a real flow and there's a real give and take and i can allow you into my life and you can allow me into your life and i can allow you to touch my meters and i can allow my meters to touch you we can actually touch each other there's a texture i i get i become familiar with the texture of my the texture of my middles somebody writes here in response to the other person who said try to teach your trauma about the rational realities and that's a way of dealing with it for example the motivations of the gangster i think failing to engage trauma like you said is part of the self-serving i'm a poor victim it's a mentality that simply perpetuates the trauma the fact is that in everything that occurs in reality everything that occurs in reality is part of reality and at the very least doesn't contradict reality doesn't contradict and if we want to overcome our narrative it's only when we engage our trauma with intellect with explaining to it reality understanding it honestly and authentically then the trauma will not survive since it's only traumatic from that lower more ignorant point of view but if i'm not ignorant if i'm open to real truth and sachel the trauma will not be able to survive you're making sense but i have to say that there's something about what you're saying that i simply don't think is true not because you're not making sense you're making a lot of sense but i don't think trauma cares about that and i don't i think if if you don't acknowledge that you can't heal it and i think this is one of the tradition of this mimer would you say that this mimer is laying out the blueprint the path for a person to live in alignment with their true eye but in order to get there you have to be in alignment with the enzyme via bitto yes that is a very very as usual you have grasped it and you are defining it very well a lot of questions today good questions thank you i appreciate the questions because this is not this is uh this is pretty heavy stuff the way i understand what you're saying is another question that ultimately we have to learn to be free to be ourselves our best selves not having to self-censor not being afraid of the effect of our decision not needing to mitigate filter compromise suppress repress mutilate amputate sensor parts of ourselves the goal is we should eventually be able to be really free to be ourselves our best selves i like i like what you're saying i don't understand this whole idea this is very hard for me to wrap my brain around i need detailed steps of how to even begin to understand this never mind implement this i understand yeah that's not easy i'm also struggling listen this is this is very very deep stuff and new stuff for a lot of us so don't feel uh don't feel you're the only one struggling to understand all this okay we're going to uh we're going to take a break here and i'm going to wish everybody a beautiful day i want to invite all of you to uh tomorrow's class 9 45 a.m leander that's tuesday morning 9 45. we have a parasite class right here on zoom or on the yeshiva.net we're going to finish this mimer god willing bleena there on thursday morning 7 30 a.m this wednesday at 2 o'clock p.m new york time we have a lecture with the south african community it's going to be live streamed on the yeshiva.net the secret of jewish resilience that's wednesday at 2 so we have tomorrow 9 45 wednesday at 2 and thursday at 7 30 a.m god willing we have one paragraph left if i could say left i don't think it's left but a lot still a lot to do here but we're physically close to the end of the minus i hope we'll be able to finish it on thursday and i wish you all a beautiful day and an inspiring week thank you for joining us thank you thank you you're so quiet over there in sydney you understand everything i thank you so you're struggling because it's deep yet okay well said that's luck hurt everybody these things these things people learn 50 times 60 times 70 times 80 times 100 times