The Talmudic Definition of Love & Romance - By Rabbi YY Jacobson

the yeshiva dotnet there is a passage a verse into hilum that we say every single morning seven days a week to hilum Coffman Zion chapter 147 boy yerushalayim Hashem need hair you sir all johannes hashem build jerusalem and those of the jewish people who are scattered around the world who are missing the Dokken rejected lost forlorn he will gather there's a Meldrick on this passage it's known as a mad rush clear madras pelea means those mad Russian that are strange very difficult to understand the mad which says I quote I fell pichia by Nehru shall I mash em mekomo completely Israeli honest even though Hashem rebuilds yerushalayim nonetheless he will still gather there all of the scattered of all the Jewish people are scattered around the world at first glance it's a very strange strange Madras the man who sees despotic as a FLP as a finish as a novel even though a shambles you shall I am you might think he won't gather the Jewish people there comes the PASOK and says no I fell P that by New Rochelle I am a chef nonetheless need to say is really honest what's the question what was the initial thought and what's the hitters what's the concluding thought another question and this plastic is the grammar begins with present and it concludes with future he builds yerushalayim he will and gather the scattered ones of the Jewish people either it could have said boy yerushalayim hashem neatly israel myth honest or even a yerushalayim asha knit feasts are all yet honest that would make the beginning of the verse and end of the verse it would synchronize them but here the beginning opens up with present lotion hayver Bonet and the conclusion with the future be honest those are the two issues we want to begin with there is a Mishnah the last mission of massages gittin page 90 get enough Santa coma Dolloff which at first glance is very difficult to understand I'm gonna quote it the Mishnah wonders what are the grounds for divorce what are the legal grounds for divorce hashamayim rim which AMA says Lia garish Adamas Easter L M Cain matzo Barbara's daughter one should not get divorced unless there is promiscuity in the relationship they still aluminum bacillus as a fee Lubich D cutoff Sheila even if she burnt his dish comes on Shabbos that solvent is overdone the rice is too sticky Basilio says that food is burnt that said to get Akiva a mere about Kiva says a field of matzah Harris nor a Meno even if he finds a woman who is more beautiful than his wife it's grounds for divorce that's the mission and getting the last mission I was once giving a lecture on relationships there was somebody in the crowd who was somewhat educated in this field and he says why don't you present to the crowd the true Jewish version of romance I said what do you mean don't tell them the mission in getting what are the Jewish grounds for divorce truth is the Mishnah has to be understood the school of Shammai be Shami we understand if this promiscuity if this betrayal if there's disloyalty in a relationship posix says volume li synthesis campaign of key matzah forever Stover that's Bahamas proof I can understand it's time to end the marriage miss Hillel is very strange she burns his food fill it because actually that's what he really believed especially basil--oh is associated with a sort of leniency and zyre it says that this thomas the souls of basilic aim from Cassatt usually in Mishnah is be civil as lenient Bashara is stringent and here base Hillel says wife burns the food he cut off Sheila that's it no be a Kiva is the most strange of all doesn't sound like coming from a Jewish sage nevermind to be a Kiva says more like a Hollywood condition for divorce he's walking in the street he sees somebody who was now a man was more beautiful than his wife that said kaput the marriage is over very difficult to understand the back even meant that for more people it's especially strange coming from a mere Kiva why react even knew what his wife did for him but give his wife sacrifice her life for him we'll keep it with the Gomorrah settings silver simec if it was a shepherd he was a son of converts he was a simple shepherd he was working for the she for the cow bus of Lua one of the wealthy prominent Jews of his generation and Cobus Ava's daughter Rocco took a liking to her via Kiva and even though her father excommunicated her and banned her and completely he made I made a vow that she would not benefit from a single dollar a single cent of his assets nonetheless she despite her father and her family went to therapy Akiva she married him not only that Rebecca even knew that his wife gave up 24 years of the marriage just for him 24 years first 12 years she sent him to learn and then when he came back he heard her say she wouldn't mind if he learns another 12 years many men would dream of such a wife sends him away for 24 years doesn't even have to come home once but I guess they're not Rebbe Akiva and their wives are not roffels works both ways but that was Rebecca his wife when he comes back with 24,000 students he tells them shall ever shall ahem shelah who what is mine what is yours all belongs to her the Gomorrah asks in my sector Shabbos asel our shoes wealthy what's wealth gives different explanations - says if you have a hundred fields and in each field you have a hundred servants basically you have a lot of real estate Ruby I see says what is wealth kosher actually basic he says I'm a little Hana you have a table and you have a bathroom you're wealthy man don't complain well does Ruby Akiva say what's wealth call sheesh light you should not be my son somebody has a good wife is that right - man she's a wealthy person if you have a good wife you wealthy it's order be Akiva he knew it from personal experience commas are bi keeping the mission and says somebody sees another woman who looks nah looks more beautiful than his wife that's grounds for divorce it's truth is that our law has like Bashar my broad and South American have a NASA the helices my psychic the law has like Bashar my a woman burns rice or steak okay okay you don't go for a get and certainly not the other issues if there's promiscuity there's grounds for divorce and even then we try to avoid it at all costs it's only the last resort as known but I'm not asking now the halacha I'm asking shocking the Mishnah what was Bissell thinking what was ever Kiva thinking how do you understand this how do you explain this perspective what did they mean is this really what they believed I want to bring up another issue change the subject we'll come back the first revelation of our Shem to the first Jewish leader moisha came about in a very extraordinary way Shem revealed himself to many people throughout history the whole duration is full of people who receive divine communication if Adam and Chava and the snake Cayenne and Noah and of Romani so can Yaakov and rific and even avi Mela and para all of them receive divine communication how did their sham reveal themselves to them I don't know it says by a rail of our Shem below named Omri shall revealed himself to a from he appear to have room for a mirage ma la fromage obsessed Avram what does it look like I don't know but apparently all of them experienced divine revelation [Music] suddenly come to SH mice comes Moishe remain Shem reveals himself to moistur a vein or so you will expect there would be the same by a rational motion by a mere sham emotion God would reveal himself to motion it's not what happens there's a whole dramatic scene literally a fireworks a burning bush by ravine a snap boy obeys verse 9 and alone Bush is being burnt it's not being consumed moisture comes and says I want to understand why it's not being consumed and that's when God says it's me I'm the God of your father I'm choosing you to liberate the Jewish people from the Egyptian exile why couldn't he just reveal himself Tim like he revealed himself to prophets before prophets afterwards without this whole beautiful fantastic seen all these fireworks all these extraordinary appearances with a snare the thornbush is not being consumed why was it so necessary a number of years ago in the year 2000 I think it was the United Nations sponsored a conference on racism it took place in a city Durban South Africa anybody has been to Durban err no I was in Durban Durban Durban and uh Lanka they had their conference I remember I was in the hotel there they told me I shouldn't keep the window up because monkeys will come in and eat my bananas Ahava so they had their conference on racism in the year 2000 the United Nations decided then made a resolution a verdict that from all the countries I think the United Nations has 192 members 192 I believe and they made a decision that from the 192 countries that are members of the United Nations is one country in which racism is still practiced it's still a racist country was not Syria it was not Iran was not Afghanistan was not Pakistan was not Libya was not Saudi Arabia was not Egypt of course it was Israel America protested America left American representative left to the conference but this was infamous one of many infamous resolutions of the UN interpret about one country that still practices racism quite fascinating shortly after I was invited to Durban to lecture and I spoke at the JCC in Durban the Jewish Community Center around two or three hundred Jews turned out which probably most of the community if not the entire community was very impressive and I spoke I spoke about racism I spoke about Israel I suppose about the Jewish people in the middle of my lecture I used a term that is not PC it's very not politically correct the term I use that's really not politically correct was the term CP which is chosen people CP is really not PC I called the Jew the chosen people and somebody was extremely annoyed - very very upset he maintained that he said that the call the Jews the chosen people that are magnifica is itself racism and it's what instigates and triggers anti-semitism the world over because when people hear that Jews believe they're the chosen people it makes them angry or envious or resentful towards Jews and it just fans the flames of Jew hatred if not creates the flames of Jew hatred and for a sensitive sophisticated enlightened person in the 21st century the beginning of the 21st century to say such a term chosen people on the Jews is unheard of it's ludicrous it's ridiculous it's max with bigotry and phobia and narrow mindedness and a very restricted worldview this was the comment the feedback I received no how do you respond to this so I asked the fellow if he was married he said yeah he was married what's the connection he wanted to know if he's married to chosen people being racist so I won't ask a question are you an intelligent person so is he gonna say not yeah he's an intelligent person handsome you are was gonna say not every Jewish guy thinks he's God's gift to humanity's handsome house I said and we learned from your question also that you're sensitive you're sensitive to human rights you're sensitive to bigotry you're sensitive to phobias that discriminate against people that means you have all the Milas in the world basically you have all the virtues in the world you're handsome you're good-looking you're wise and you're morally and emotionally sensitive what else can a man ask for and therefore I'm surprised that a guy like you got married so what do you mean why shouldn't I get married I said a person like you with all of your virtues should have stood up to the world how many women are there in the world it's at 4 billion women person like you should have stood up and say listen either I marry all women or I marry nobody but such discrimination that you have you chose one woman you rejected all billions of women you reject what is my wife supposed to feel she had end up with a guy like me and so many other women like that a man like you with so much talent and so much virtue had to get up and say either I marry every woman which is fine or I marry nobody instead you really discriminate against so many women all the women in the world you say are not good they're not worthy feel one woman you chose I really don't understand how a person who could be upset at me for saying Chozen people did exactly the same thing when it came to marriage you chose a wife and you rejected every other woman in the world and imagine just how they feel because of it he said rabbi are you mad so why I'm Sam I'm being rational no you're so sensitive to these things you're a male chauvinist you have issues with chosen people you did exactly the same thing when it comes to men and women so he said just because I married one wife it doesn't mean I discriminate against other women so why didn't you marry all of them I'm sure they would have all jumped for a guy like why didn't you marry or you should have married nobody he says what are you talking about you marry one woman I married one woman I said so what does that mean about other women what are they supposed to feel he said just because I married one woman it doesn't mean I looked down at women I hold in high regard every woman I respect every woman it is just one woman that I married that's it but just because I'm married or it doesn't mean other women I'm not whipping just not married to them I said very well listen to your words and now you'll understand exactly what the concept of chosen people needs the concept of chosen people does not mean that other people's or humans are to be looked down at or disregarded or discriminated against or disrespected in parentheses I'm gonna add it's not really the topic today but I'm gonna add in just in parentheses we the Jewish people because we suffered so much in exile especially in Europe not before the war so Jews developed a certain vocabulary when it came to Gentiles and I think many of us still suffer from it and really we need to heal from it because today is an opportunity in the world where Jews can have a tremendous positive influence on the non-jewish world in terms of morality in terms of sheva mitzvos bnei noah in terms of justice in terms of charity in terms of kindness philanthropy family values moral values ethical values and many many Gentiles are very good people but a lot of Jews especially in the ultra-orthodox community are still used to the language that dominated the Jewish shtetl for so many years and parents our grandparents were Holocaust survivors so naturally as a result of that there's a certain type of vocabulary that is spoken about when it comes to now in some situations it's more than true in many situations it's not true and Jews but they're not fulfilling their mandate that was given to them in today's generation by God which is to influence the whole world all Jews and also all of mankind and for that you need to come from a place of confidence and empowerment and goodwill not just mistrust so you have to know when and where and who you're dealing with but that just a general comment as I say it was the Bible Genesis that says keep it selam aleykum assess although God created man every human being in his image he carved out every human being and the divine image doesn't say that about Jews says that about all descendants of Adam and Eve every person so how can you suspect Judaism and discriminating against people when the Jewish Bible the Torah was the first document to say that every human life is sacred sure if Adam ha Adam the dominie shellfish the blood of a human being of every life is sacred every human being was carved in the divine image the concept of chosen people is just like you married your wife the Jewish people so to speak are married to God there's a special relationship it doesn't mean other women are not respected other men are not respected everyone has the unique value because she's not my wife doesn't mean she's not a woman just not my wife the Jewish people and God have a special relationship like a husband and a wife what's the relationship of a husband and a wife complete oneness oneness means that 24 hours a day seven days a week 365 days a year they're completely one it doesn't have to do if they're physically together not physically together it could be on a business trip 30,000 feet away but nonetheless they're still married there is an essential of and now structure urban option the souls are connected in zyre it says plug gopher it's two halves of one soul it's like two halves of one soul they may be in two parts of the world but it's still two halves of one soul there's an essential connection between a husband and a wife sometimes they agree sometimes they disagree sometimes they like each other sometimes they don't like each other I once hurts from elie wiesel Oliver Shalom he says Jews some Jews love God some Jews hate gods but Jews don't know how to ignore God it's like in a marriage I think I like your husband you hate your husband it's very hard to ignore him I mean you could try but it doesn't work even more with your wife you could try ignoring your wife it doesn't work at some point it emerges why because there's a relationship the relationship has to be worked out but there's a very powerful relationship and this relationship is essential and here I come to another mistake that many of us make we often define even in our cinema system what is Judaism Judaism is a religion either Scott is a religion that's not true Judaism is not a religion it's not true it asks some components that make it similar to religion but it's not a religion proof for it is simple say a Christian whaha still stops believing in the Lord and in yashka and and everything Christians believe in he stops his father believed in it and he says I'm an atheist I have nothing to do with any of this he's not a Christian anymore I his father was a Christian as a there was a Christian his mother as a Catholic his grandmother was a Catholic for 2,000 years they're Catholics fine but I'm not whoops I'm a free-thinking open-minded American Columbia Graduate atheist my father's a Christian I'm not a Muslim his father was a Muslim as say there was a Muslim as a de his L to say there was Mohammed before their batsman he decides he doesn't believe anything islam teaches nothing take the quran throws it in the dustbin he's not a Muslim anymore why doesn't associate with this religion run in the blood it's a belief now take a Jew Muslim dear mother and son Hedren alfalfa Shikata Heathrow Alfa Pizza Hut is wrong the Rajput says it's also true was in the Caliph I think Simmons a big Dalit are you strong moomer Jew converts converts Welland only not believe doesn't only not practice he converts right and he's my condition Isha she needs to catch she needs a divorce I a Jew marries our non Jew marries a Jew they don't need to get it's not a condition it's not a definition of marriage he needs to give her a get why he throw a for pizzicato his Rollo My Luck he says is like the mayor Bangkok or Bangkok autumn Korean bonham there's always a relationship and the relationship is essential it's not something that can be nullified you'll go over I'll give you a simple experiment if you want to do this ok you don't have to do it but the concept is what I want to convey it's Sunday afternoon Christians come out of church for Jewish standing there ask any Christian who comes out by the way you believe in the Lord so of course I believe in the Lord really of course why I've been screaming a little Luka now for three and a half hours if I don't believe in the Lord Friday stand there a mosque a Muslim comes out say you believe in Mohammed of course I believe in Mohammed why I've been fasting now Ramadan for a whole month I don't believe in Mohammed why have I been kneeling five times a day and not eating all the good foods I want to eat the halal die and of course I believe in Mohammed now come to a Hindu is coming out of a Hindu ashram and say you believe in karma of course I would leave income why do I have this relationship with this worm for the last forty nine years in my garden I believe in karma now ask the Buddhist coming out of a Buddhist monastery you believe in Buddhist of course I believe in Buddha why I've been fasting for 52 years straight involved in Transcendental Meditation Nirvana one and all all in one melting away in nothingness in my if I don't believe in Buddha of course I believe in Buddha what's the question now go to Fifth Avenue temple Emmanuel Yom Kippur you could try this out a drew comes out two o'clock from temple Emmanuel the rabbi finished his sermon he goes out yet take sofas yarmulke waves a taxi gets there whatever sir are you Jewish how do you know you believe in God me you're crazy I don't believe in God you don't believe in God of course not they used to think you need a God when there was no science today we have spent enough to believe in God it's interesting so why will you Yom Kippur and sure he says well it seemed Kippur ceases so that means you believe in him Kippur and God and well no no no I don't believe in anything so why did you go to Temple in Yom Kippur he says what do you mean I'm Jewish Yom Kippur a Jew goes to Temple and he doesn't see it as a contradiction why Judaism is not a religion Judaism is the color of your soul just like I can't change the color of my eye I also can't change the color of my soul it doesn't have to do with my belief or my practice some believe some don't some practice some don't but the color of their soul is a Jewish color that's why in some of our cultures we call a secular Jew a never heard that I learned that in Muncie somebody who doesn't even a guy who doesn't much dress like you is also called a guy that's like even a bigger finish so what's the what's the idea the idea is if you call this drew a guy it's not shot it's not nice that's Mela you don't do it in front of him it means you don't even understand what it means that you're Jewish by calling him a it means that you think what makes you Jewish is the garments you wear or even more the practices that you do or even more the convictions that you have that means you really don't understand what Judaism is for yourself either sky' Judaism is not a religion alopecia Katya sir although it's the color of a Jewish soul there's an essential relationship with the divine some people have the privilege to live that relationship and for some of that relationship may be eclipsed but the relationship is intact I once got an interesting email from Sydney Australia this fellow writes an email as follows he hates he's Jewish but he hates Jews okay not if not the first not the last when he was growing up he said he told his mother he doesn't want a date Jews doesn't even want to marry a Jew it's not even a consideration he married a non-jewish woman he said he's so not interested in the Jewish people he bought himself a plot in a non-jewish cemetery so he shouldn't be buried in the Jewish cemetery and they don't even practice or celebrate Hanukkah in his house not even Yom Kippur only Christian holidays he's completely not Jewish and he's living with a non-jewish woman and he didn't even tell his children that their father is Jewish what's his question this email is really getting inspiring what's his question his question is he wants to know if Judaism has a ritual through which you can unjú --is-- sized yourself why because he still feels Jewish and he says just like by the Christians is something called baptizing is there something in Judaism through which I could become unbaptized unjú sized that's what he wants to know and he says thank you for addressing what's probably an unusual question for a rabbi to receive what's the answer to this Jew so the email sent back the answer is good news and bad news the good news is that you are as Jewish as the coffered sky him as the Vilna Gaon has the some cypher there should be a Kiva's King David and as Moses you're not as knowledgeable as they you're also not as observant as they but you're as Jewish as they that's the good news the bad news is there's nothing you can do about it there's really no tradition in Judaism to undo so as yourself my advice is since it's who you are why don't you try to make peace with who you are instead of running away from it for the rest of your life the most interesting thing of the email however is that you think you're normal think about your email you say you don't like Jews you don't believe in Judaism you're married a non-jew you even bought a non-jewish plant in the cemetery you don't even observe one Jewish holiday that means for you Judaism means nothing yet you're looking for a Jewish ritual to make you feel not Jewish but if all of Judaism is insignificant and inconsequential and meaningless what would such a ritual will help even if there was a a ritual if it's not authentic if it's all fake and baloney what's the point nonetheless you feel so Jewish you're ready to go to a rabbi from what people a rat bite to help you find in Judaism a way through which you should become not Jewish and you think you're a normal person but this crystallizes essentially what a Jewess in a paradoxical ironical and maybe tragic way it tells you what a Jew is a Jewish Judaism is not a religion Judaism is the color of your soul the state of your soul so you have religious Jews you have not religious Jews they are as Jewish as any other Jew they may be completely ignorant they may be completely clueless but they're as Jewish this is a mistake that a lot of her ad Jews make today they forgot what it means to be Jewish so when they see a Jew secular they look at this Jew and they say he's a guy no he's as Jewish as you are completely because he's as Jewish as you are instead of feeling superior to him and negative towards him on the contrary you have a tremendous opportunity and privilege to help him or her reveal what they are already innately and essentially tragically who understood this very very clearly as dama dama Locke says into hilum Maori vie to khomeini we sometimes become wise from our enemies we sometimes need wisdom we need to glean wisdom from our enemies it would be nice if we wouldn't have to but sometimes you look at your enemy in order to have karma if you look at the great enemies of the Jewish people you'll see that they did not distinguish between this type of joy of that type of june hitler yimach oh my it made no difference a person who was at Sadiq atomic Occam argon Ibaka Shah symposium not only Froome but the showing material mitzvahs mahadji Amina Mehadrin and a Jew considered himself a socialist left-wing left-winger atheist if there was Jewish blood flowing through his veins the venom was identical why was the venom identical because there was a kedusha a holiness that he felt in every jew and he was allergic to it and therefore the same hate the same passion directed towards the most religious jew was directed towards the most secular Jew almost without distinction incredible did you could be screaming it's not me I don't believe in this I'm not part of this but somehow the non Jew felt the same holiness and this Jew like in this Jew there was something at the core that could not be eradicated the truth is it goes back to Hama Hama got upset at Mordecai because he wasn't bowing down to him so kill modify what he have to kill every Jew do a lot of assimilated Jews in Shushan why they have to kill every Jew so what does the Megillah say kg deloitte s I'm Meredith I hummin understood that every Jew is a Stickle Martin define every Jew is part of Martha thigh-high Mordecai is unique he's holy is exceptional kill him no he knew that there's something of Mordecai in every single Jew the less a murderer so I'm explaining that all of these examples to this Jew in South Africa that chosen people is not about discrimination nothing to do with discrimination it has to do with the fact that Jews are married to God and when you're married to somebody there's a special relationships a special connection you could be friends with other people you're accountable to other people you should respect all people you're connected to all people on some level but there's unique intimate connection that a husband and a wife share with each other hopefully positive sometimes unfortunately negative but there is a unique relationship or unique oneness a unique connection I was once I was once on an air traveling on an airplane - there was at Porto Rico since I think a four or five hour flight so when we land I take out my phone and I call I was sitting near a priest the whole flight I was sitting near a priest priests are of course celibate and I want to get married they made a mistake it said it said celebrate they thought it was celebrating whatever that's a separate issue so so we were schmoozing it was a very very very interesting truce he was a very educated man and we had a very interesting conversation so he asked me why did you take out your phone right away who you're calling Sutton calling my wife when I land I call my wife she says you see that's the advantage of not being married I said what he says I don't have to call anybody I'm a free man I'm completely free I don't have to call anybody I'm alone he says I'm gonna be here now for three months not accountable to anybody or anything I don't have to make a call but when you're married he says that's what the duties you have to do it was a very interesting observation he made why because it made me think indeed it's true when somebody is a bachelor they don't have to call they could go away for three months not even tell anybody besides their mother probably nobody will worry as long as they tell their mother Jewish mother especially that he's a law if you fine if a person is married and you go away for three months even for three hours even if it's number of mine for three days without a call it's probably not the wisest think anybody of you who ever tried it knows what I'm talking about on one level you could say you're subjugated on another level the meaning is your life matters to somebody else if I'm connected to somebody else they're worried about me and I don't call there are consequences because I'm not living on my own I'm not isolated what does it mean to be married to be married means there's somebody who cares about you 24 hours a day both ways what does it mean to be married to God come chakras God says I'm waiting for a text message boo bestow I'm waiting for a call minica I want another call when you were on a business trip how many times a day do you call your wife at least three usually you should call 900 Yunnan you call mine together it's 18 but at least minimum three times chakras minica might have so when you understand that it's a relationship it means that there is an essential connection an essential powerful connection come now to the missionary massages get in the grounds for divorce we're gonna say something it's gonna be a little strange and new to many people sitting here but that's fine we don't understand anything about the romance of the tannoy Amanda Miriam we think that from people are supposed to have miserable marriages that's what many people think the more religious the more miserable the marriage the more religious the more God takes over the marriage and the less it's a husband and a wife communicating together I have heard from hundreds and hundreds of people literally I wish it was an exaggeration but it's not that their whole marriage they don't even look forward to make it a good marriage they get into the structure of religion chakras medical mind if Shabbos Yom Tov the main thing is you produce a lot of kids and that's it who even thinks about a relationship this is a tragic mistake but there's nothing to do with Judaism it has to do with our own failure to understand Judaism and understand relationships it specially has to do with many mentors leaders palette teachers cousin teachers rabbis who entire and parents parents who instead of educating their daughters and sons how to enjoy their marriage instead they really teach them things that are so absurd I'm not gonna talk about them right here but things that I hear are so absurd are so based in Christianity not in Judaism and it's very very sad a lot of women a lot of callousness anima thought that they're not supposed to enjoy their marriage on the contrary it's just a duty the woman has to fulfill her duty the man has to fulfill his duty the husband is frustrated the wife is frustrated everybody's frustrated it takes them 15 20 years to open up to somebody normal who tells them kevrah make a life for yourself God wants you to have happy life God wants you to enjoy each other spiritually physically emotionally psychologically socially this is a big big disaster in many many circles and of course nobody talks about it because you now want to talk about it because Judaism we don't talk about these things we don't talk about life we only talk about Commerce the PASOK says in passions by Yeats say ye shuts probably you skip this plastic buy his Shack Yakov lyrical I ask Yakov kiss Rocco and he started to cry so there was once he'd Russia vegan who gave a sheer he said why did he cry he said poor he kissed her he's a toy he coached a medal I kissed the girl they started to cry to do Chava so somebody set over this story to the garrier ever to the base is Cyril somebody said over this vote so he said I'll tell you why ACK of cried Yakov card cause he knew that one day this rabbi is gonna give this interpretation that's why he started to cry in other words he started to cry about the fact that Jews think that love is traif that relationships are a horrible thing that whenever you talk about love between a husband and a wife it's the worst thing in the world you don't talk about it that's why Yaakov was crying Yaakov was crying about a Judaism that doesn't believe that people are people so what happens is this we make believe that men are angels they're not Judea most people are not addressing who they are they're not giving them guidance of perspective because they're not giving them guidance of perspective their whole intimate life is secretive a few weeks ago I gave a shear Shabbos morning up here in one of the shoes and I spoke about the perspective of Judaism and relationships afar man comes over to me afterwards I kid you not and he says it was very nice but it was really a big mistake what you did I say why was it a mistake he says my 18 year old daughter was here and she's not introduced come yet and how could you speak about this in front of her I said did you hear what I said he said yeah I said did you like what I said he said I loved what you said I said you heard the Russian Nakia did the clean language in which I spoke about it he said yeah so I always speak about it in clean language and very refined concept very refined content what's the problem he says these things should not be discussed ever until there no night before the day before this okay I said I beg to differ but thank you for sharing and he said I don't think I could come back here and I can't bring her back okay I'm sorry to hear that right I kid you not six minutes later two girls come over to me I'm on the porch say could we speak to you yeah we go to the side and they both tell me that they're addicted to inappropriate sites completely inappropriate sites and they're telling me the films that they watch in the movies they watch and things that they're addicted to one is 17 one is 18 and one of them says this year that you gave today in the morning was unbelievable I never knew that Judaism has anything to say intelligent about this my whole education I got YouTube's certain sites on YouTube could you give this shear every Shabbos morning discuss this I said that's so interesting and what's your name and she introduces herself and happened to be the but order it happened to be the daughter and then I realized something very very intense and that is many of us parents are completely in la-la land we often don't know anything that's happening with our children you have a good home you don't even have internet in your house but there's a class of twenty thirty kids almost every child not every gets exposed to information through one of the children in the class or in camp when they're thirteen when they're fourteen but they don't tell their parents so we live in la-la land about our children sometimes their entire education about love they're getting from completely alien and often destructive forces and when they get married their entire paradigm has been shaved by YouTube and the parents are completely clueless because there's a sinister or good you see vichy parents and that's why you live in a generation you may seem you may think I'm this is strange but I'm giving you advice from soul to soul friend to friend and that is parents today need to give an education to their children about intimate issues age-appropriate and sensitive according to their age and who they are don't stick your head in the sand the amount of problems and challenges it creates later when they don't have these conversations girls with mothers and boys with fathers usually is disasters it would have been very nice if we lived in a different world we don't live in that different world and I'm talking Haven in the most Hasidic communities where there's no internet and this filters galore there's one kid in the class who knows everything and introduces it to other kids I learned this the hard way and I see this as a fact and this is where people need to understand that you if you described only talks about things that are not really relevant to people's lives we have failed ourselves as Jews we have disconnected from Judaism why is it that collar teachers have to tell collars that marriage is not intimacy is not supposed to be enjoyable what are men supposed to do I don't know how many men I'm not justifying them how many people felt in me to go elsewhere to find enjoyment because they can't find it in their marriage in the name of kedusha and the name of paradise or what we're doing by not helping women and men learn how to be married in a powerful healthy way how many people are going elsewhere Michelini nunim of miss havisham i am all in the name of the cities of Kadisha pala if this is not corruption what is corruption if this is not corruption what is corruption in the name of holiness and sanctity many many young men desperately trying to satisfy themselves find all types of grotesque alternatives because they can work it out in their marriage and we call this holy this is something that really needs to be rectified at least in my humble opinion that's what the Gary rebus said why Yaakov was crying for you Scheck Yakovlev I F my interpretation of what he said he was crying because he realized is going to be a whole generation of Jews including in Garrett among his own Hassidim and others who will completely misunderstand that relationships are holy relationships are sacred there are bond rights that the bedroom is called Kadesh ha kadosh emits the Holy of Holies in Tanaka and Malakand the Holy of Holies is called Haider hum it is the bedroom in Judaism the bedroom is holier than a show how do I know if there's no mikvah you have to sell a show and take the money and build a mikvah because I surely make me Chabert Alex you davon and you make kaduche him and the gaba gets attention or the rabbi gets attention or the president gets attention but mikvah is where the Jewish tomorrow is created the essence of the relationship of a husband and a wife is kodesh Kadosh Jim I don't mean the spiritual relationship I mean the physical relationship and the spiritual relationship they work together whenever you created Judaism that divorce is routine is from gosh me is heaven from Earth and people from angels when you make believe men and women are angels you create neurotic people you create sick people you create people that are unhealthy they're not functioning healthy and religion becomes a very strange exercise and their real life is completely in secret completely in secret and they come they sit down and they expose themselves and they think they're telling you things that nobody ever shared in the history of humanity because they're the only human beings because they thought that in their whole community everybody is my locum they're the only humans well welcome to the United States of America Lane it natera lamella hey learn it in the turn of the malarious they say what's the difference between a neurotic and a psychotic and a psychiatrist the neurotic built castles in the air the psychotic lives in them the psychiatrist collects the rent from both of them so when you have whenever you have a Judaism that doesn't integrate life you create you create an issue or you create a neurotic for you shack actively Rehoboth the gomorrah says that when the Numa nan Dollard when the Gentiles came into the Kardashian Kardashian what did they see row her crew Himawari in Zabuza now people are thinking we came tisha before she is supposed to be about tisha both how indeed in rabbi why do I get involved with very shocked Jakov LaRocca wife what are we talking about the answer is dis has this is the essence of the day the gomorrah says that when they went into quite a shocker - come on Tish above they saw the crew vilmorin's Abaza the crew v'm were intertwined with each other they were integrated they were hugging each other fregley talked in Yuma non Dalit their advisers make sense the Gomorrah says in Yuma that when Jews would come up for alia lerigot they would open up the Piraeus and they would show them the crew who if they were looking at each other the boy and the girl were looking at each other it meant that Hashem and the Jewish people are in a good relationship and that's why they're gazing at each other if they looked away from each other it means the relationship was problematic stay looked away from each other after it's well what does it mean the Commission at the to bought that ish above the croutha muumuu rim not only were they looking at each other they were literally hugging each other it's the opposite that time was the most apparently the greatest estrangement so the banana sauce car brings a toner that it from the magnet of miss rich the magnet of miss rich said says the gomorian yavanas chi of autumn leaf goddess ishtar Bashar Shiites illa Derek before a guy goes on a business trip the Gemara says he has to be together with his wife since he's travelling he has to make sure the night before he's together with his wife says the market since it was now her visa McNish a Hayashi avoidant her ear Abbas iam hi sir c'mon Jacques de Madras kaisha Ajala below the medina Siam she's not a widow she's like a widow why is she like a widow because her husband went on a long business trip he crossed the Atlantic Ocean the Medina say I am God went to America for 1700 years he wasn't coming back so we came to America to find him Kaisha Holika by llola medina siam so therefore the market says right before that high of autumn lifted a sister the husband has to be together with the wife why cuz croove that why because he's leaving so that's why i'm tish above before so to speak the scheana left it was a moment of Krupa morons ever self-intimacy he goes one step deeper and that is says 'you shall me that mushiya has born on Tisha buff that's why the regional brings we say knock him in Dominica what's Pratt mushiya was born on Tisha buff the seed of Messiah is conceived from the intimacy between a Shem and the Jewish people during the Corbin groovey Miriam's Abaza that conceives the seed of the gula in the womb of the Jewish people that then developed throughout godless until the Google crew of in memoriam Zabuza now at cam I'm at humbucker now we come back to the mission in gettin it's very hard for us to appreciate the truth the tannot Amanda Miriam had a level of a relationship that is deeper than most of us can even appreciate for us if we basically get along in our houses and we don't kill each other never mind if we even enjoy each other once in a while it's already like wow what are you on but by the time I'm and I'm Miriam the relationships were very very deep in fact as I'm afraid I should get more in Broca's I'm not gonna get into the whole Gomorrah but the Gemara basically points out the ripka hana wanted to learn about this part of Judaism and he hid under the bed of Rav Rav was the cuddle Hodor the gemara resin brokers that he saw how much rather enjoyed his wife and he came out from under the bed afterwards and Ralph was like what are you doing under the bed and he says totally heave a little Madonn it's ro this is Tyler and I have to learn this imagine you would tell this story today to people they would say this is not Judaism does his initials in the sights of the finish at Gomorrah why'd they put it into the Gemara they want the point they wanted to teach people that the greater and holy or a person is the better marriage he has the whole of you you are the better your relationship with your spouse the less holy you are the worse the relationship why more holiness more connection more greatness more intimacy the holier the more spiritual somebody is the closer they could be with their spouse it's not the other way around that's what the Gomorrah clearly says about Graff according to this come back now to the mission and get in and you'll see the meaning of the Mishnah the meaning is as follows you have been Shama you have B similarly ever be Akiva here you have to understand one thing when we learn Mathias we think it's just loss halakha do this don't do this do this don't do this it's much more than that it's not just what you should do and what you should not do it's also a description of what is happening inside the halacha outside is a reflection of the hollow inside let me explain what I mean when you say what are the grounds for divorce one of the grounds that a husband and a wife should get divorce cause for Shalom what are the grounds what is the meaning of this the meaning of this says when he gives her a get right no that's the last stage you see there are two phases in divorce phase one is external legal a man gives a get to his wife they're legally divorced they're not married anymore he moves on she moves on that's the last stage it doesn't begin with the get where does it begin it begins inside sometimes you can have a couple that lives together for 40 years in the same house but they're divorced they're not legally divorced but they're emotionally divorced when the Mishnah says what are the grounds for divorce the mission is not asking only when you give a get the mission is asking something much deeper what has to happen or not happen in the relationship for a couple to know that inside they're not married they may choose to remain married for the rest of their life for whatever reason a lot of couples do that they may choose to technically remain married but how do they know inside of their marriage the divorce physically the get is only the last phase because internally does a breakdown in the connection how do you know that the connection has broken down to a point we're not really married anymore and then you give a divorce because you're not married but again this is not about the physical divorce you could be married technically in the same house but internally a divorce and therefore how logically says if you're internally divorce get externally divorced that's the question of the mission that's a much deeper question how do you know you're divorced inside how do you know you're not really married you're living with somebody you call them your wife or your husband but you're not married now there are three opinions and let me tell you before we go through these opinions these are very high levels of love modern man modern woman usually can't even conceive this type of romance Besame says you know how you know that internally you're not married matzo ball everest over a couple has loyalty to each other the moment that loyalty is broken the moment the wife husband betrays the loyalty the moment there's no red lines that they don't cross the moment they cross a certain boundary of loyalty but Shammai says internally i have to know there's something missing there you may be friends you may be business partners you may respect her he may respect you all's good and fine you're not married if you were married there's a certain level of betrayal that you don't reach and if you're crossing that red line it means you have to ask yourself are you really married or maybe you're just legally married but you're not married bish am I not bad for today's world comes basilar land says a bus first a stew in love let me tell you basically those opinion and I'm gonna tell you right away halav I not that we would have this hell of why we would even be able to understand this they said well says I feel ooh a tough chilly even if she burns your food what does this mean this means if you go home and your wife made you dinner there's too much above Guerette but soup and you eat it and you say Rebbetzin this is really burnt this is really horrible this is disgusting this is not food this is not food I should have garden we should have gone to a restaurant I feel Oh ignition of Schiller if you could feel that your wife's food is burnt and there is a cook who is better than your wife if you could feel that your wife's food is inferior to somebody else's food base Hillel says internally you're not married if you were really really married the fact that it's your wife's food makes it the most delicious food that was ever concocted in the history of civilization since the tree of knowledge why because it's your wife's food now you're looking at me I'm like what that's my point we don't even understand what this means but that's what Bissell is saying if you could taste somebody's food and say oh my I wish my wife would cook like this that means you're not married if you would be married the fact that your wife made you the food my wife made me this fact the food it's Tom GaN Eden mamas Beyond it's not what she made it's who made it it can't be burnt there's so much romance there's so much love and every one of those burnt pieces of food we're gonna get that you're gonna get that in a restaurant you're gonna get that on Amazon we're gonna get that at a kid that Shabbos afternoon Shabbos morning you gonna get that were you gonna get that now you're looking at me like a rabbi food is food that's the point buy you food as food by basil--oh food was love food was energy food was part of a relationship here again are we eating in order to live or do we live in order to eat we all know that some of us especially in the Froome world have a challenge we live in order to eat the highlights of Judaism today have become food our religion revolves around food Lewis cheese cake Pesach whatever they foo the face of harm and hopefully good macaroons or pizza depends which I'll tell you go to suka see now sorry etc Hanukkah is this but our Shabbos meals it's food food food food for the main thing is food really we eat in order to live we don't live in order to eat but eating often becomes the highlight it's the destination it's like the reward are you my summer chef is the meal it's like da vanina's over we're going to the meal like food became the objective of life of course food is only you have to learn from the animals I never heard from a sheep I would love to eat this ice cream but I have a wedding next week and after look good for the pictures or a horse who wants to eat foodie pebbles or a cheese danish and says well you know what I'm on a diet you never know I need a or whatever somehow sheep and horse eats for one purpose they eat to live how it happened that we started to eat simply to numb our pain there's another interesting study but we don't need to live we eat to numb our anxiety and pain at least some of us not all of us and so base Hillel says he cut off she lie or he could fall if your wife burnt your food you're not married you're in a business relationship that's not marriage they say the mice the ankle member who was a widower he lost his wife so he moved in with his son and his daughter-in-law and she would make him dinner every night she was a very good daughter-in-law and he would always eat the soup and he always he was number he loved his wife they were married for 62 years imagine and that a great marriage and he would always finish eating the soup and she would say new Schware how was the soup and he would say listen you're not bad of a circuit nisht it's a kidney serving sugar it's not like your mother-in-law used to make it a soup you're not bad and I appreciate it but anyway once she was in Costco she was shopping Thursday for Shabbos and suddenly she remembers all she left the soup on the fire and she forgot to turn off the fire she calls the house as anybody home to turn off the fire nobody is home the only one who's home was despair but for him to go and turn over the fire he would have made a fire so she decided not to ask him and she left go and Costco you know what Costco is not so partial Thursday afternoon a woman alone in Costco it's really a man's job she drops all the packages she runs into the car she goes home she runs in and the soup is and Gunson fumble and it's like one stick ashes after the Corbin she shuts the fire and he comes down for supper it's five o'clock like a clock and she she doesn't know what to do I mean it's such garbage whatever but she says you know it's better than nothing so she gives a mom as this for hack the fresh Duncan a fab lentes soup and and she starts apologizing she say he starts eating she says you know I want to tell you what happened I went to Costco he says by the way finally today the soup was like this vigor finally finally the soup was like the Schrager one day it was like this regular that's what they said was saying there's no comes in Vancouver Vancouver says yeah what do you guys understand about relationships because of what reserve achiever he could say this if it was anybody but there be a Kiva you couldn't say this because it was really a Kiva yeah but if it says let me tell you something if you're walking in the street or you're on the subway or on a bus or you're on a plane or you're in your office wherever you are and you see somebody and she could have more Beauty than your wife Ruby Akiva says you are internally divorced if you're capable of seeing Beauty somewhere more than in your own spouse that means your connection is compromised now again let's face it if we would simply live by basem eyes ideal of what marriage is we would do pretty well what does it mean to be married to be loyal to each other it's not a bad definition base hillel's like devolved rabbi akiva is beyond it'll be a Kiva saying if you're really married to somebody if you're really connected to somebody you're so crazy about them there's nothing more beautiful in the world it's like a mother with a child if you think your child is not cute - something wrong with you somebody else may think your child is not cute we know that we know that our mother calls me up the other day her daughter was thrown out of school whatever so she asks me advice so I said what are you thinking she says I'll tell you I want to be objective and objectively the principle is right so therefore I don't want to make sense is that right I said rabbits in let me tell you something your daughter's gonna grow up she's gonna be in the world she's going to meet hundreds or thousands of people who will treat her objectively she only has one person in the world who's supposed to treat her subjectively you're also gonna become objective about her don't you dear you never become objective about your daughter you remain as subjective as you can because it's your daughter you fight for your children you don't become an objective detached aloof bystander you fight for your kids fight for them fight through thick and thin and don't let bureaucracies snuff the soul out of your kids never you fight for your kids if you have to create a new school you create a new school if you have to homeschool your home school you have to take them to another school another school you fight for your kids don't be objective with your kids so a mother will say my child is not that cute I once heard a mother tell us somebody on the phone he wanted a higher endorses I just had to tell you that she's a little lazy I'm like wow you're so interesting she says I have to be objective now you may want to talk to your daughter about getting her act together but you got to fight for your child Szczerbiak eva says if there's somebody more beautiful it means you're internally not married so here's the story that really illustrates this it's one of the very beautiful stories the holy vision and it beast all of religion was a very holy Jew and by the way in vision they didn't know how to do tisha buff they didn't know how to do tisha both they would have a swing dish above at night by Eiko they would come into the shul and they will consider them two guys that had like a chair and was like a swing you would sit down and they would lift you up to the rafters the whole illusion that came in they didn't see who he was they put him down in the chair they lift him up to the top and they see its dilemma nabis television they wanted to kill themselves from shame he lifts up his eyes to heaven he says your boner shall I lump the zester's Dinah kinder vaison issue it's a preventative of nemesi veterans a your children don't know how to respect it above take it away from them they don't deserve it taken away from them once is true ha Gyung tov delusion that comes out from his room his office around 12 o'clock or 11:30 a.m. into the shul and he sees a young man putting on his Tolleson felony starting to dava as delusion err why he Dominic so late so he says why you davon ink so by my domine so late I'm not only one Dominique so late this whole room is filled with with people who are domine now so the original an understand why don't you wake up early and davon early why you domine now 11:30 in the morning he says Rab de he here's a man here's a man all these older cuz it them from vision who lists we were starting to DOM and then what do you want from me why are you picking on me so the region is says I'll tell you a story there was once a Jew he was a woodchopper it's called him Yankel used to chop wood a whole day exhausted he would come home and he would have one meal minor clark his wife would give him a piece of potato a hard piece of bread a cup of water that was his daily meal by he I am the woodchopper comes home it's 9 o'clock he's starving there's no meal his wife is not home no he thinks to himself ah my wife she probably wants to make me feel good so tonight she decided to prepare a sudha bisaya gonna make a big meal and that's why the supper is delayed then he thinks to himself but where did she get the money to buy real food meat chicken vegetables fish ah she probably pawned off her jewelry she probably put her jewelry in a mosque and she gave it away as a Martinez collateral to get money to buy all these foods and he starts thinking about the tremendous her vivos the tremendous respect and sensitivity his wife has towards them knowing his hard work how she wants to reward him with a good dinner it's now 10 o'clock 11 o'clock as kishkes are turning over from hunger but he's saying at any moment this dinner this lavish lavish dinner with la vie Austin and sherry bar are going to come out and nurture and nourish my hungry soul it's 11:30 p.m. the poor guy is starving he's been fasting all day chopping wood his wife runs into the houses oh yeah oh I'm sorry I forgot I had to leave you didn't even eat yet and she brings him a piece of potato a glass of water and a heart piece of bread he says to her for this meal I didn't have to wait until 11:30 p.m. this meal I could have had nine o'clock I could add 8 o'clock for this I didn't have to wait so Delusion the Beast all of vision turns to this issue and he says Mele ye who gets up early he prepares for davon iing goes to the mikveh he learns says Central America before Dominic sorrel is born and begat eleazar kale for shiftless Adam he learns tired England's premier satire Leyland said this he gets the cider in Arvin yireh and then he Davin's late new hashem says ah for this meal was worth waiting he says a bit dine davon and your davon eNOS you could have done 6 o'clock in the morning oh so this you could have done of a second Amon and also for your type of domina your fact the potato with your piece of bread with your cup of water for this God doesn't after way that half a day you wake up in the morning you Davin up and you're done what are you comparing yourself to their governing is completely different Avenue you're dominating you have no justification to do it late your darvany you do early in the morning if you're preparing for hours for that winning male ok they leave vision and they go home on the way home they stop what's called a Kretchman in what we call today motel 6 and the Hasidim coming on from vision are sitting around the table and they're eating saying look I am there for bringing the schmoozing it was a cold night after Tishrei and these ends used to have these big ovens the Tanner Duffy ryeom's there was logs and fire on the bottom and on top people would sit to sleep late there was an old man he looked like a hundred years older been mayor was laying on top of the oven and resting he sees these fascism coming from the head delusion is sitting around schmoozing eating drinking and for bringing together speaking the every citizen he looks at them and he says for Vic empty we are coming from say we're coming from the holy to mr. Oliver version he says news octopus of art tell me after something from he said they decided what do they have a better word than what he said this morning and they said over to this old man what he said this morning to this young Casa to davon light the whole Marshall with the dinner for the woman and the husband the wife and husband so this man looks at them and he says your rabba is wrong he's making a very very big mistake no these were relisted them they couldn't tolerate hearing that they wanted to jump in my hutzpah he says the division is wrong where does he get this audacity they start they start holler he says relax I'll explain to you why he's wrong listen to me he says I say that if that husband would have really loved his wife then even if it's 11:30 p.m. and all she gives him as a piece of potato and a piece of bread in a cup of water he would have enjoyed it so much because it was coming from his wife it would have been as pleasurable as the love yusin in the shara bar and he would have not complained and i say that if God really loves a Jew then even a Dominique that is fast even if it's imperfect and it's flawed and it's not impeccable and it has a lot of mistakes and it's a few hours late I say that he would still love it and cherish it and Saveur every moment of it and every component of it because it's coming from somebody that he loves so much and therefore I say your Rebbe is wrong nope cinema bana who share a you have to have a sense of smell so what do they do they go back they knew they had to go back they went back to the best role of region they went into him and they told them what happened and the Halley corrosion has said that the soul of this Jew came down to the world to say this Voort his neshama came down to this world just to communicate this insight and they understood what he meant he was around 100 years old and this was like his grand final his ultimate final statement that he needed to say to fulfill his mission in this world but this insight that he gave is essentially the explanation of this Mishnah base Hillel Aryan awfully weak be cut off Sheila if you really married the food is not burnt and if God is really married to them their food is not burnt it's not a descriptive Schiller that's the view of basil--oh now you can understand why in this Mishnah that love is like Bashar my Bashar my standard we can appreciate this hillo standard for be a Kiva standard is something absolutely unique the same rebbi akiva who says in mrs. Asya diamond that coal kiss McCoy - coitus bashira shooting coitus conduction all of the Tanaka's holy but share shittim is the holy of holies why hire her eylem could die kyokushin eaten by Rajesh Bashar shoot him the is wrong the world was not worthy like the day that she hush in him was given to the Jewish people what is shara shara him essentially is a love poem about the Hudson and the cow love the groom and the bride which is a metaphor a muscle for the relationship between a sham and the Jewish people Rabbi Akiva the one who claims that she are shitty misguided conduction that the whole world is could die it was never could die like the day she was given to the Jewish people he describes what marriages I feel the matzah Harris nor a man no means that you are completely disconnected if this matzah Harris no hay mana that means you're not really really in if you're really really in there's nothing more beautiful nobody more precious nobody more wholesome nobody more gorgeous gorgeous because not sure sure even Asha there's no concept of beauty that is deeper now I tell you is this an ideal to speak about yes it's an ideal to speak about is it an ideal that everybody is capable of constantly I don't know but it's an ideal that one has to entertain one has to internalize which now brings us to the boiler yerushalayim ashram you remember neatly sir all your calmness and here we come to an insight of the same aesthetic some extent excesses follows there's a Mishnah the messiah baba metzia Duff who feels I and Amidala the Mishna says abayas valia you have a house you have two condominiums I'm living on the bottom floor you're living on the top there's a tsunami a hurricane and both condominiums get destroyed what's the halacha so the Mishna says the one on the bottom has to rebuild the bottom and the one on the top could then rebuild the top what happens on Malloy bajalia labelled abayas live nice vainly right son the bottom one says you know what I had enough with this neighborhood I'm moving to Palm Beach I'm moving to your shall I am I'm moving to Switzerland I had enough I'm out I'm not building my bottom floor the guy in the top says what am I supposed to do I need your roof as a foundation I need your pillars I need your walls what am I supposed to do he says it's not my problem he says it is your problem I own the second floor and I cannot have it I cannot build it if the first one is not built he says I'm not interested I'm not Maliha to rebuild your house I'm out so what does a mission to say very interesting Allah the one on the top could rebuild the floor the the lower condominium and move to it he rebuilds the condominium on the bottom and he moves into it oh the guy on the bottom comes back from Palm Beach comes to visit for Pesach he says what I like it I want my house back I want my house back I like what you did nice kitchen nice dining room nice renovations this is no problem can have your house back the Mishna says you have to pay him the expenses he renovated your house as long as he didn't do it extraordinary renovations but he did in the common renovations to rebuild it you have to pay him for the renovations and then you could move into your house and then he takes the money and with this money he either rebuilds the top floor the higher condominium or it's now his turn to go to Palm Beach but the bottom line is once you pay him his expenses the owner of the lower condominium could then move back into his house that's the mission our buyers valia the end of would would see the end of the 10th chapter of Medea coffee of Zion every mission and the whole Shas could be understood on two levels shot and sight every mission every Gomorrah no difference if it's ok sin or a dove in Vulcan or Hulan saw him or Yuma Bubba Basra bava kamma every sagir every mission of a Gomorrah every hallow contortion Honora crumbum Roger if could be understood on shot level but also there's always a spiritual dimension to every Allah there's no halakhah that doesn't have a spiritual dimension what is the deeper dimension of the Salah jacque de tomate other hobbies for alia what's the bias and alia there's a cosmic bias and a cosmic Aliyah what is that the gomorrah says Misaka Steines days you shall I shall Mata and you shall I am shall my Allah and they parallel each other there's the physical Jerusalem and there's the spiritual metaphysical Jerusalem Rashi says on the PASOK Yaakov wakes up and he says a Nucky basil akin visa Shaar shamayim this is the gate to heaven so crashy base-emitter shall amato makovan connected by some mr. Salloum island the base emitters down here was parallel to the me some accession up there the two are parallel so you have the bias as the home on the bottom the alia is the spiritual attic the second floor of your salami based on McNish for many years the bala bias and the bajalia the Jewish people and the Sheena lived together the Jews in the bias the sheen and alia they got along it's always issues between neighbors right that's the fact what do they say good fences good neighbors make in this case not but the bias and I'll leave they live together then comes the herd Mesa McNish ha bias Valley Hashanah flow the Romans came in first the Babylonians than the Romans and they destroyed the bias but they didn't only destroy the bias they destroyed also Dalia because the camera says in tiny Samara be Hashanah nish market is Morocco Hashem made an oath I will not enter into your shall I shall my Allah as long as the Jews don't enter into your shall I'm schemata Hashem made an oath as long as the Jews are not in the bias he will not be in Dalia so once the bias was destroyed the alia was also destroyed it's not that the base of McNish is gone but the Sheena remains in full tact the camera says at the end of Magilla behold Malcolm segolia sorrow she named on a mirage beagle Allah Edom got all above Ogallala Elam Galilee OVA Shri naman Dalia was also shattered so the bias is shattered Ali is shattered what's now the bajalia comes to the Bala bias and says rebuilt rebuild your house so I could move into my condominium on the top rebuild the lower so I could go into the higher what does this mean Hashem tells the bow alia tells the Jewish people the Bala bias rebuild yerushalayim toaster says Misaka Stein is the feud yerushalayim is two words Lehrer Shallon complete era wholesome or year of Shalom Yerushalayim rebuild yerushalayim year assalam rebuild your base emitters vasily mikdash v'shachanti become the ram mom says enough is true the pairings ayan 50 Katara she say future lasses truther owe me a dainty garland do true ver rebuild yerushalayim rebuild the base--emitter spiritually fish Ashanti beside come here Shalom and then I'll be able to move into the alia you'll be back in your home I'll be back in my higher condominium you'll be back in your lower condominium and we'll go back to the Bala bison the ball all year together that's the system of halakhah the Mishnah baba metzia what happens now comes the Bala boys and he tells the bajalia I mean la moon young when there's this it I'm not interested I'm gonna go find another house that's the story often not interested I'm not interested I'll find different sources I'll find different homes I'll find different places of refuge I'll find alternatives I'm not interested in going this route if you're familiar with the Jewish history you understand how vivid this description is what happens now there's no bias the bajalia wants to move in but there's no bias it's a bit there it's bitter the Bala buyer says I'm not interested in rebuilding what happens the bajalia comes and rebuilds the house the owner of the upper condominium comes and rebuilds the lower condominium he says I'm gonna rebuild it you know what happens now the BOA bias comes back and says oh good job I'm coming back no I need to get paid I need my expenses to get paid pay up all the expenses everything I put into it then you'll go back that's where we're holding now on the Mishnah now come to the PASOK says the matter is our FAL pichia boy near Hawaii Masha McCall McCoy needs a heroic honest even though Hashem build your shall I am so you would think since Hashem is by near shall I am since the bajalia is building the bias he tells the Bala bias you want to come back great but you have to pay expenses I fell became Midler you sir all your harness he's still going to bring back all the Jews without any conditions without any prerequisites don't think that just like in the Mishnah the bala bias refuses the bala bias has to pay up all the height sauce don't think the same thing is gonna happen here that's the shot in the Madras even though he's building it neatly is logic honest why the answer is because in the missionary talking about to neighbors neighbors are neighbors it's all nice but they're still neighbors they're strangers essentially here you're not talking about two neighbors here you're talking about her husband and a wife a father and a child a mother and a child here you talking about - that are essentially connected so therefore Hashem says I built it but come in come in just come in I want you to be I'm not gonna wait till you do all your expenses that's why boy nee is Lotion hayver your fanbase is lost asset Bonet he rebuilds the economies in the future after the bala bias rebuilds he gathers into children this is an interpreter given by the Thomas ethic in this Madras based on the mission of Mohammad SIA I will give you a little poem maybe not such a little but an interesting PostScript to this and I'm not suggesting interpretation or commentary because it's beyond me to suggest this type of commentary or interpretation but I do find it quite historically fascinating and interesting and maybe really other adjectives should be used here that is you test kislev torsion curve of 1966 the Lubavitcher ever was having a fir bringing for the hoggar ghoul of vyacheslav and it was always the case at the weekday for bringing as he would do a harder in a cm anima sector and you discuss love they have a minute to be missing shots you would always make us see mr shots or one of them acceptors of shots that year he made us see of my mother Mencia he made a hutton about Mitzi and he did a whole long hard in Iraq like us with the Rambo much they Guinness a whole soggy review their mayor now he finished the Hadron he said now he wants to say something else and he's still about rebus sent over this whole part from his grandfather from the term identical he was named after this whole Stickle about bernier shall i Amash em with the balla by snowball alia he got very emotional when he said it extremely emotional about how the bala boys doesn't want to build the ball alia says he said the bajalia said banks of him he yearns to be with his children said soo bit it's too hard for him to be separated so he'll do anything to get it back so he goes and builds himself waiting for the Bala bias to come back and this whole thing and he finished the fort all in the name of the tomate Sadiq exactly what are we now I know there was someone Zion I in Zion this was 51 years ago top chunk of off one year later mama Shea year later 18 months later Thompson cough Zion was the Six Day War the Six Day War was unexpected but the Six Day War which happened exactly fifty years ago in June 1967 was a watershed moment in modern Jewish history if he familiar with the Six Day War the Six Day War was an incredible moment in Jewish history I know some people sitting here in the room remember it I wasn't born yet I don't remember it but the fact is that the Jewish people that numbered close to three million in Israel seven countries pledged the destruction of the Jewish homeland including of course its enemies right at its borders Egypt in the south and Syria in the north and Jordan in the east plus they got help from many countries and of course the Soviet Union and they spoke about another AL shoe it's the Jews will be driven into the Mediterranean there'll be another Auschwitz the Jewish world was in panic and there was a reason for the panic it was only 20 years after the end of the Holocaust 1945 in April Second World War ended and this was 1967 barely two decades 22 years later and three million Jews in Israel faced monoliths lon what seemed like another Holocaust including many survivors who barely survived the first Holocaust Lavely Eshkol was the prime minister at the time he got on to the radio to give a speech to soothe the country to soothe the people I once heard a recording in middle he breaks down you can understand the Prime Minister gets up the commander dude gets up to calm the people and he got so confused an emotional middle of the speech it brought everybody else into panic it was a very very powerful moment of fear for good reason they prepared gravesites expecting 60,000 casualties 70,000 casualties body bags they had to make new fields for birthday chorus and so on and so forth what happened was something extraordinary and that is it was on Monday excuse me the end-of-year torsion curves on June 5th 67 in the morning the Israeli Air Force took off and within six hours destroyed the entire Egyptian Air Force that itself how that happened without the Egyptians noticing what's going on is also an incredible story how the Egyptians allowed their entire Air Force to be completely decimated and destroyed within the first six hours of this preemptive strike of Israel the war was over six days and in those six days Israel was quite tripled three times the size Golan Heights had got from Syria Sinai desert and Gaza from Egypt East Jerusalem including the coastal based left him covering you hood there Sharon from Jordan what happened as a result of that was that in six days the victory was so powerful that in secular media the non-jewish media they would call it they they defined it as a victory of biblical proportions like stories of the Tanakh it was an incredible moment in Jewish history but I want to bring out here is the story of your juice Allah of yours shall I am Israel was allergic to the Old City of Jerusalem Levi Eshkol who was the prime minister Moshe Dayan who was the defense minister and Yitzhak Rabin who was the chief of staff there a mad cow they were allergic to Jerusalem it was religious you're dealing with the church you're dealing with the Muslims they wanted it should be under Jordan let the old Jerusalem be some of the generals there was a man named multi-cat gore and Uzi Marcus who actually withdrew from Jerusalem in 1948 and lost it wanted to go back and gain it but they wouldn't let them the higher political echelon said no Israel didn't want Jordan to get involved in the war Jordan was a control of East Jerusalem they told Jordan if you don't talk to us we don't touch you but Jordan swept away by the lies of Nasser in Egypt that Egypt is a victory because Arabs are very good and prep again there doesn't have to be true Egypt said that their victorious and Jordan believed it enjoyed an attacked and Israel begged him to stop but they wouldn't cease attacking and still Israel did not want to go into the old city of Jerusalem they refused till the last moment Dyanne ash coal Robin the political leaders of the land did not want the how to enter into the old city of Jerusalem what happened was they say Menachem Begin was dressed up as a closet for a few years during the years of the Second World War when he was fighting the British and they were after him and he would listen every night the BBC headlines 12 o'clock a.m. there's BBC headlines and begging her that night also BBC the night before comes I&E or thursday that tomorrow is gonna be a ceasefire the UN is gonna impose a ceasefire they say that he called Lavy Eshcol the middle of the night the prime minister and he told them that this is a historic moment that the Jews could take back their ancient homeland and the coastal and our abayas etc Anechka said it's the middle of the night we need a cabinet meeting because he said so let's do in the middle of the night and they summoned the members of the cabinet of the Israeli government the middle of the night they still call it today the pajama meeting because everybody basically came in their pajamas two or three in the morning and they voted yes and that morning I think 10 o'clock a.m multicooker famously declared haribhai it be a day know now in the war 800 soldiers died they expected sixty thousand eight hundred but more I think than a fourth were killed in the Battle of Jerusalem because they wanted to do it in a very delicate this is where Jews become their worst enemies and in order not to entangle anybody they will bend over backwards in order to appease the world which anyway doesn't the can't stand them but that's a separate parsha and yerushalayim was returned to the Jewish people the caisson was returned to the Jewish people the Hara boys was returned to the Jewish people they put up a flag that on the HERA buyers within a few hours moshe dayan demanded it to come off which was again a symptom of the Israeli leadership not knowing what to do with victory Jews know very well how to lose we don't know how to win after 2000 years in exile we do very well with loss we're good at it drew makes a fist the next step is of sham Luba Cardinal Kazama well hey don't hate don't hate that's how it is when it comes to victory Jews feel very ashamed very apologetic we don't know what to do Israel had such a victory 50 years ago and they're still apologizing 50 years later they're apologizing for having that land as though it's not their land that's a very painful reality when Jews are not proud with who they are and what they are but the next year yerushalayim was given back to the Jewish people and I always found it fascinating the bajalia almost against the choices of the Jews in Israel almost forced up almost forced upon them they got back here shall I have the bow a bias was invited back into your shall I am so you might think you have to wait till we pay back all the expenses so the magic says FLP shibori I am a sham nonetheless neediest Roya Hani's because you're dealing with a relationship of two of our Shem and the Jewish people that love each other in the most powerful love in the world a husband and a wife on the deepest level a parent and a child in the deepest level and therefore he says come into my city come let's be together forever Katie Allah no be mayor mayor may know our main thing this 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