The Snake's Deception || Women's Devarim Class 5786

the yeshiva.net. >> Good morning everybody and welcome. Thank you for gracing us. Today's class is dedicated by Harry and Dina Dornbush with tremendous gratitude for the recovery and Rafu of Kayamushka Basa Yael with prayers for her continued good health and for a complete recovery for the ten for the infant. Amen. Thank you. Also dedicated by Barakim and Rahul Kay Kaguritzki with heartfelt prayers for all the Yeshua for our brothers and sisters in the holy land init and throughout the entire world. How does one live with an open heart? When life often throws curve balls and even when there's no major curveball, but there's always the anxiety and the stresses of daily life, there is the loss, there are the tragedies, there are the challenges. How does one remain openhearted? How does one remain anchored in serenity and joy? I'm not asking philosophically but internally, emotionally, experientially when we think about the three weeks and the nine days you know there's certain there's an element of uh of negativity there's an element of sadness of grief all of the things that we don't do all the memories and so on and so forth beginning with the 17th of Thomas culminating in tishab every year when the three weeks come I always experience experience a certain dread that comes into my heart. It's like already from childhood, you know, in camp, you know, now the fun stops. So, we're not going to be able to swim, no music, you know, it's just a an energy of uh of uh heaviness. I would say heaviness. And this year when I started to feel it, I asked myself if I could change a little bit the music in my brain. And instead of seeing it just as doom and despair, to see it as an opportunity, as a gift to work through something, to work through the internal darkness, to work through the internal shame, to work through those very feelings. Because the truth is, I think we all understand that the purpose that the prophets and the sages instituted this time wasn't just to keep people heavy and burdened and depressed and sad and anxious. It's like, you know, finally you have a few weeks in the summer where you're allowed to relax. No, no, sorry. Is over. Summer is coming. July 4th, right? No, we have three weeks. Okay. Tishabove is over. L is coming. you got to make. So, so how many how many days are still left for people just to uh chill out, right? But really there's a gift here and the gift is it's an opportunity to be able to work through these very processes in our life that do keep us captive to despair, to negativity, to depression, to anxiety. Destruction is not there to destroy. It's there to create a catalyst for a deeper building, for a deeper edifice, for a deeper healing. How does one do this? What does this look like? So today's class basics that seem three topics that seem very very disconnected from each other, but they all happen to coincide with each other, which means that they are connected. Generally there's a famous expression in in the Talmud in Sanhedrin that the entire is one theme. That's very interesting because it's not one theme but it says on a deeper level it's really one theme. There's a unity that pervades it writes in last week's par that it's like a building. Everything, every part of the edifice is interconnected with every other part. Like a piece of art, the art may include many different nuances and details, but it's one piece. It's one cohesive tapestry, a mosaic where everything is connected to each other. In par this week's portion, which is always read on the Shabas before, that's how it is. So, it's obviously connected. We have one word that is very, very unique in the Tanakh. And that word is in parv and then it comes up on and that's the famous word of if you'll see inside the first of your source sheets per alfu that's Deuteronomy chapter 1 remembering the context of the story the Jewish people are standing at the cusp of the land of Israel they're about to enter Mosher Rabenu already knows that he's going to remain in the desert with his nation And the last five weeks of his life he dedicates to speak to the people. And this is known as which is the book of words. Means words because it begins with the words upon intended. These are the words that Mosha spoke when says the 11th month the first day the 11th month which we call then they didn't have these names of the months. They just went by numbers. Today we have the names that came later from Babylonia. The names of our months come from Babylonia. They're not Jewish names originally. They became Jewish names. So the se 11th month, the first day which is Misha begins his address. Of course, this will go for five weeks because he will pass away on the seventh day of. So four weeks of and then the first week of on the seventh day of which was also on Shabas Moshe goes up the mountain and passes on. As a result of this, we have the hope say, which is basically the sermon or the speech or the farewell goodbye of Mishenu to his people. What is fascinating about this is to see how Mosa spent the last five weeks of his life because two things could have happened. Either Moshe could have been very very sad and angry for everything he went through with these people and as a result of that he's not even entering into his beloved land. That could come up or another thing could come up is he segregates into his own world. He's about to go to the next world and he prepares for that beginning to transition. He does neither of these. He takes these five weeks and he speaks to the people like he never spoke before. He tells them who they are. He tells them their story. He tells them their history. And in these weeks, Mosher Rabenu really transmits to the Jewish people their identity, their past, their future, their destiny. And he becomes Mosher Rabenu, the teacher who will never die, who always lives till today, so many thousands of years later. One of the first things he tells to them is this is right away. says, "At that time, this is close to Mount Si 40 years ago, I said to you, I cannot carry you alone." How means how like in Hebrew is how is with an extra? How is it that I can bear alone? means your trouble your burdens your strife I can't carry this all by myself and that's when Moshe asks to be able to delegate and he appoints the 70 elders 70 sages and leaders of the different tribes leaders for a thousand leaders for 500 leaders for 100 so that the there will be much more leadership available you see he uses here the word a is not a regular word in the it's a very very seldom word we of course have it in the book called migillas that's one of the written by the in English they call it the book of lamentations and it's read by Jews the world over on the night of tishabove many read it also on the day of tishab and how does it Again, how is it Yerma was the prophet who saw the destruction as he describes in Aka and in his book of Yerma? He lived during the last five kings of Judea until the king until the king where the destruction actually happened and was taken to Babylonia by and he begins the four chapters. How is it Yashva? A city that was filled with people. It was vivacious. It was vibrant. It was filled with nations. It was filled with a pop with a powerful vibrant nation. It sits in loneliness. Bad of course comes from the word bod, right? Lonely, isolated. How does like a widow in the sense of bereft? There's there's there there's a there's a there's a pain over there. The pain of loneliness is she was a leader of the world and now she's subjugated paying taxes to all of her enemies who control her. And so Yo goes on to grieve for the destruction of his land, his people, his city, his nation and of course the bdash. That's a are these two a connected. So the medish says yeah. The fact that Mosha uses the word your mo uses the word it's not a coincidence and we read it right before tishov even though is a different he's like how can I do this alone there's one more that comes from which we read on the of the shabas before so it's interesting that the three are read right now paras in the par you read one and the you read the second a and on tish of a you read the third a The of who lived 150 years before your is chapter one of the of this week it's called how is it that such a loyal city became like a prostitute like a z harlot justice used to live in Jerusalem and now it's filled with murderers this is a how how how can all of this be but what yeah what I want to do today is I want to focus on another place where this word is used. It's just not pronounced the same way. Who remembers what's the first time? >> Very good. Very good. >> The word comes right in the beginning of the in parishes. You see what great students we have. Hundreds straight A's. Straight A's. You should go to the best seminaries. If not for you, you could use it for your daughters and granddaughters. Use me as a reference. We have right away in parishes bes is just pronounced differently. It's the first question that God ever asks a human being. The first question there are statements that he makes to humans before that. But the first question he ever asks, what's the first question the creator of the world poses to Adam and Kava? It's the word aha pronounced asyaka. So you might say, okay, coincidence. Let's let's let's let drama let's not dramatize it. But the medish actually puts the two together. And this is the medish impas. You could see it in your second third source test. That's medish rabba on paras chapter 19. Let's see. Hashem calls out to the when he's in the garden. And he's basically will ask him where are you? But the med says before that he calls out to him and he says what happened to you? Yesterday you were living with my consciousness. Today you're living with the consciousness of the snake. Yesterday you can experience one end of the world to the other end of the world. And now you're isolated only in the garden. We'll explain what this means in the name. The prophet says in Isaiah chapter 6, the Jewish people at the time of this is the end of the first Bikdash are like Adam who transgressed the covenant. What does it mean? They're like the first just as I put him into paradise. I gave him a mitzvah. He transgressed it. I sent him out and I lamented. I mourned. I grieved for him. And I said in there's no there's no vowels. We pronounce it. But when you look in the just the fact that it lends itself to be pronounced differently is part of the meaning. That's the brule in all of when a word could be pronounced in different ways. All the pronunciations are fair game because there's nois even though we have a tradition how to read it. But the fact that it's written a certain way means it can also be read or at least explained in different ways. So it's but it's of his children. The same is with his children. I brought them in which was like an I gave them a mitzvah. They transgressed it. I told him to go away to I sent him away and then I sat and I cried with the word like it says. So fascinatingly the medish sees that there's another right in the beginning of creation the first question of Hashem to Adam and the Medish is somehow putting the two together what happened on tishabove what happens in the three weeks is almost a reinstatement of what happened the first time but that's very interesting doesn't look like exactly the same story this is in a garden he tells him not to eat from the tree but somehow the med sees it's almost exact same story multiplied of course with many people in a different millu different geog geographical location, different circumstances, but the soul, the zeitgeist of the story is very very similar. What is the connection here? How do we understand it? The media is opening us up is opening up a vista to something that is profoundly, I would say, rich and also incredibly inspiring. Although this doesn't seem so inspiring, but you'll see it's very, very inspiring because grief has another side to it. There's two types of grief. You know, I I I mentioned yet last week the speech of a of of a high school girl and she said, you know, how lucky I am, how lucky I am to be able to miss so many of you. There's two types of grief. There's grief. I mean grief is grief. But in grief itself, when somebody is grieving something that is very very powerfully positive and something very very special, something very deep, something very authentic that itself represents a deep connection. Right? Far worse than grieving for something that is so beautiful is not grieving for it because I just forget it because it doesn't mean anything. when somebody doesn't mean anything I can't miss it. So sometimes from the grief itself you create the connection right when Akiva saw that his friends were crying when they saw a fox come out of the holy of holies and he started to laugh and some of the commentators say he says I could laugh because you're crying the fact that you're crying allows me to laugh because it means you never lost your connection. It means that this still touches you very very deeply and if it touches you very deeply that means there's something alive there's something vibrant. So from the very a we can understand a lot about the nature of the relationship. Now in order to really appreciate this let's change the subject for a moment not because I'm ADHD that's besides the subject but because it becomes very fascinatingly how things are deeply intricately connected and just that itself is really uh is is a is a delightful experience when uses the word in the first source. How can I carry you alone? He uses three exception, three expressions. Why can't I carry you alone? Those are intense expressions. Comes from the word. It means like you're trouble like don't go through this. In Hebrew, that means you don't have to be. You don't have to go through the trouble. Means you create trouble. Masa comes from the word masa. What's a masa? A burden, a peck. When you're carrying something, we call it you're carrying a masa. A peeka. And if it's a heavy burden, it's quite stressful comes from the word which means quarreling, fighting. So he says two things. First of all, you you're a this is causes trouble. Second of all, it's a burden. Third of all, there's a lot of fighting. So Rashi wants to know what are these three expressions. So Rashi explains your second source. The Jews knew how to make Mosha exhausted. They knew how to cause trouble. Two people come to a court case. They have a dispute and one of them sees his friend is coming out victorious. He tells, "I have witnesses. I didn't bring all my witnesses. I have proofs. Let's bring other judges." He doesn't have witnesses. He doesn't have proofs. But why not cause a little trouble? Why not cause a little extra anxiety? Okay, your burdens here says something interesting. This teaches us that they were which usually we translate as heretics. If left early in the morning, he came out of his tent. They said, "Why is he leaving his house so early?" Ah, his wife threw him out. It's not a normal situation in the house. What's going on over there in the kitchen? What happened this morning 5 in the morning in the kitchen? That is running away from his house. If he came in a little later, why is he late? He's probably scheming horrible plans against us. So, he can't win. If he comes out early, it's like, what happened over there between him and Sepro? What's going on? This is not a normal household. Something is going on. We don't like this. If he stays home, you would think, great, he's having breakfast with Sepra. That's an amazing thing. Misha is having a cup of coffee with his wife. No, no, no, no. He's planning these crazy things. This is the second thing. Rash uses the word apicum. Do you see a funny thing here? What's the strange thing here? >> Right? What does that do with Apicursus? When we use the word apicus, what does that usually mean? A heretic, an atheist, somebody who has they call it denies God. First of all, didn't speak about that. He said, "Your burden." If you look ino for example he says mas means you're masa you're a burden you're a heavy burden rashi gives this whole interpretation that they're apic where did he get that from where is theus there and then he gives an example I don't see apicursus I see people who are always suspicious of raenu and always interpreting things negatively and rashi uses the word this is not rashes rash takes it from and that's why most of the commentators of rash say means something else completely if you look in English translation they'll write disrespectful now people who Don't read the original Hebrew. Think Rashi says disrespect. He doesn't say they says apicorum. But the English translators had a problem with that because where's the Apicus? So they said disrespectful. But it's interesting Rashi uses this word aim and already in parishious he uses the word aicyus and it's obviously he's talking about atheism. Then he says the third thing they were always complaining. They always had a fight about something. Nothing was ever good enough. So Rashi takes the word your burden and he translates it as apicursus. Fascinating. What is the meaning of this? Okay, so we'll get back to this and this is the conclusion of of in order to appreciate all of this, we need to go back to that original story because it's in that original story that the clues for all of this lay. That's how we can see the deeper meaning. We can decipher the underlying theme and message and relevance in this entire explanation that our sages are trying to convey to us including rashi associating mas with apicursus. For this let's go back to the story itself. It's in your fourth source bes Genesis 2 verse 15 the first par fourth paragraph in the source sheets. This is where the story begins. Genesis chapter 2. Hashem takes Adam. Hashem takes Adam. He puts him in the garden of Eden to work it and to protect it. So Mosa was not in Ganedan sitting on a bench wiggling his thumbs just sipping a nice coffee. He was put into Ganeden to do work. Okay. And commanded Adam from all the trees in the garden, eat shall you eat. Eat. But there's one tree. It's called the tree of knowledge of good and evil or the tree of awareness of good and evil. Don't eat. And the Tyra continues the next chapter, chapter three. This serpent was the most clever or sly. She turns to the woman. Did Did Alim really say don't eat from any of the trees of the garden? And she says that's not true. Hashem said, "Eat from all the trees, but one tree don't eat from and also don't touch it." And says, "You would think that she defeated him because she caught him by a lie." And he says, "No, you won't die." God knows that the day you eat from the tree, your eyes are going to open up and you're going to be like God. You're also going to know good and evil. And basically, he does not want a competition. He does not want anybody like him. The woman looks and she sees the tree is good. It's it'sa it's a good tree for eating. It's also so appealing to the eyes. It's a to the eyes and it's also delicious for conception for awareness. So she takes from the fruit, she eats it and she shares it with her husband and he eats it too. They hear the voice, the sound of Hashem strolling in the garden in the direction of day, direction of the sun from east to west. And Adam and his wife go both into hiding. They hide from God in the among the trees. A lot of trees, there's places to hide. calls out to the he says one word where are you says I heard your voice I heard your coil your voice in the garden so I was afraid because I'm not dressed I'm without clothes remember didn't have clothes I went into hiding that's what happened that's where I am I'm hiding from you. I'm afraid says, "How do you know that you're naked?" You ate from the tree that I told you not to eat from. He says, "It wasn't me. My wife is to blame the woman you have given to me. She is the one who makes all the food in our house and she tells me what to eat. She tells me what to eat, what not to eat. I dare not take anything that she doesn't allow me to eat. She's the rabb. She's the mashk. She's the supervisor. There's nothing that goes into my house to my mouth that she didn't give her and unless I'm out of the house and then I could cheat. But here is the one in charge. Okay, this story is still playing itself out, right? This is this is basically the story. We all know the result of it. Hashem then tells Adam from now you're going to eat bread with the sweat of your of your brow. It's going to be exhausting all the planting and the harvesting and everything involved in the world of agriculture. He says birthing children, raising children is going to be difficult. He speaks to the snake and that's when he tells he sends away expels Adam and Kava from Ganed. When we look at this story at the surface, is there a connection between what they did and the consequences? It would look like you did something bad. I'm going to curse you. I'm going to teach you. First of all, I throw you out of the garden. That's the first thing. No more privileges. Second of all, you're going to have to work, work hard to make money, to make a living. You're going to have to work hard to raise a family. There's going to be all these crises and challenges in life, both for the man and for the woman. And this is the result. So it's almost like you did something bad, you're getting a punishment. That's how you could look at it. But the truth is whenever you see in reward and punishment, it's actually as the Mishna says initial explains it's the act that generates the outcome. It's not two separate things. It's not like you work for me, I give you a paycheck. The reward is generated by the person themselves. And the same is true the opposite. So there must be a thematic connection between what they did and the consequences of what they did. Now another very interesting thing is when we usually ask what did Hashem tell Adam and when he put them in Ganaden we say don't eat from this tree but it's not really what he said right if you look at it what he said is in he said I actually want you to eat from all the fruits of the tree. Now how many trees were there? I don't know but there may have been a lot. So that's actually a pretty big mitzvah at sagan. From all the trees in the garden, I want you to eat. From one tree I don't want you to eat. But when we usually tell the story, it's interesting. We don't do that. We don't say the mitzvah was eat from all the trees, which actually is a lot. And one tree you shouldn't eat from. Now, here's a big question. If you really want them to enjoy the garden, and that's why you're telling him eat from all the trees. So why even set up this tree that you're not allowed to eat? Don't plant it. Put it somewhere else. Put it in a safe. Make it inaccessible. Make it invisible. You want them to eat all the trees. You want them to enjoy themselves. But one tree not. And this tree is called very interesting name. The tree of knowledge of good and evil. Now after they eat it, what happens? They hear Hashem walking in the garden. He's strolling in the garden. They hide. They hide. What is the meaning of that? Somehow they feel they should hide. They could hide. And then Hashem says, "Ayaka, where are you?" And Adam says the truth. I'm hiding from you. I'm not I'm not comfortable with you. I'm actually frightened. I do not want this in God. I'm hiding. I'm trying to hide. I'm afraid. I'm naked. I don't feel good about myself. Yeah. I'm very self-conscious and I don't want to meet you. Right. It's like I'm in English. I'm being caught. I'm being caught in a certain situation and I don't want to beat you. I don't want to meet you in this place. You know, maybe when I get my Beckasher and my uh my uh my suit, fine. I'll put on a tie and I'll come greet you. And Hashem says to him, "Ah, you ate from the tree." But that first question is, "Where are you?" And as Rashi asks, he didn't know where he was. Of course, he knew where he was. Rash says he just wanted to engage in conversation. But we see from the medish, it wasn't just a technical question to start the conversation. There was something very profound about that word. Ayaka actually means. So I want to take a dive in with God's grace. May we be able to be a channel today to reveal this wisdom into a deeper layer of the story which is really the meaning of the story. But sometimes it's easy to miss it. And again, I want to thank my friend Rabbi David Foreman from Alive Bet did a beautiful sh for where some of these points are taken from and some other sources. But I do want to express my thanks to Rabbi Foreman. I want you to remember and notice a very interesting thing in the story. It can easily easily be missed, but that is really the clue to the entire story because whenever a word is deleted, you always have to take note what just happened. That's how the Tyra works. Let's go back again to that fourth source and I want you to see how Hashem is identified each time. Then his identification changes and then it goes back. Okay, take a look. What's the next words? >> Hashem. Hashem took Adam and put him in. Okay, next verse. You seem hashem puts him in the garden. Hashem commands Adam to eat from the tree from all the trees and not to eat from one tree. Okay. Now let's go to the next one. Besimal. Now we start talking about the serpent. You see again the was more clever than all other animals that God made. Isa and he told the woman what's the next line Omar what what's what happened here you see he deleted one name of Hashem Omarim did say not to eat from the tree who said not to eat from the tree he put now if you think it's a coincidence take a look at the next pa what does the Elim. You see, Hashem is not here anymore. Elim knows that when you eat, your eyes will open up. And what's the next word? Elim. But now the story, they ate from it. Now the story goes back to them in the garden. What is >> Hashem? Oh wow. God got a new name. They heard the voice of in the garden. They're hiding from in bold. So interesting. The story is about putting him in the garden, telling him to eat from the trees, not to eat from the tree of knowledge. Later in the garden, Hashem says, Hashem speaks to him in Adam. But when the serpent is addressing it, there's no Hashem alikim. There's only alikim. And you see it goes back and forth. It's not like No. Another fascinating thing is when you read the story of creation of the world, the first 31 chapter is only it's all only in the second chapter when are introduced and is created do we start with and that continues here. The takes out the word and only leaves the word. What is the meaning of this? So let's learn one more source inside and then we'll decipher item. Your next source is your next source. There's a verse in the Song of Songs chapter 5 where the groom says ah I came back to my garden to be with my sister, my bride. It's a fascinating medish. When Hashem created the world, he had a it's interesting when it says that saw the tree, it was who but here the medish associates with God. He had a he had a craving is a craving, a yearning. What does that mean? Anybody has a translation for that? He wants a home. A deer is a home, right? >> In the lowest in the lower elements of reality. Let's say that way. That's where he wants to live, right? I'm looking for a home. Yeah, you're looking for a home. This one is looking for home in your looking for a home in this in the Swiss Alps. One is looking for a home in Florida. Wherever you're looking for a home, he's also looking for a home. I HAVE A I WANT TO LIVE SOMEWHERE where doesn't mean in a basement. He wants to be in a basement in Brooklyn somewhere or means a different type of basement, but I want to live after eat from the tree. Hem tells him, you know, I had a ta I had a dream. I had a craving. You know what my craving was? I wanted a home in the lower world. Just like having the higher, I asked you for one thing, but you didn't keep it. departs. This is a medish parish also similar medish one more medish I came back to my garden one of the sages called said it's interesting here he's identified by his father-in-law's name the son-in-law of the son of a said in the name of the son of bosan infan He doesn't say I came to the garden. Says I came to my garden which is associated with another word called gnuni. In ancient times when a kassan and kala would get married they live they would create a pavilion like what we call a tent a private pavilion. And it had four walls and that's where they would live and be together after the wedding and the first week of the wedding chevraas and sometimes for a few months and that's where people family and friends would come visit and they would feast with them and make the chevraas over there. This was called gnuni. Gun is like a kupa like a canopy a pavilion that was made for the and kala to be alone in the blissful days following their wedding. This was called gnuni. So the med says is I came to my what is that? What does that mean? And he says what he's describing is I came back to the place when the Mishkan was built. Hashem says I came to the place where my is my essence was originally because the essence of the is like the foundation of the like the foundation of the home that the where was it? It was in this world in the lowest element of reality and then I was expelled and now I finally busy I came back to this to this pavilion from which I was expelled. These medium are all pointing to the true nature of the story and that is as follows. You know imagine the other day somebody sent a gift to my house. It was very, very nice. And I opened it up and I wanted to know who sent it. There was one problem. They did not send a cart. So, a guessing game started and I still didn't figure it out. You can get a beautiful, beautiful gift. Somebody sends you an amazing gift. But then there is the card. The tennis bracelet may cost $21,000. Okay? If you get in a lab, okay, $6,000, whatever. We're not going to get into that cuz you're supposed to be equally excited officially, right? The card that it comes with that costed $3 in CVS, but what's the significance of that card? That card is what represents the relationship. Somebody could have dropped over the gift. You wouldn't even know who it is. So, it's an amazing amazing gift. And there's maybe a practical utilitarian purpose. You can wear it. You can enjoy it for your home, for yourself, whatever it may be. But it's that $3 card or $2 card where the person says, "I'm thinking about you. Happy birthday. Happy anniversary. I cherish you." That didn't cost much. That didn't cost $21,000. But that is what creates the relationship. I know who gave it to me. Somebody gave it to me. Of course, I enjoy the gift. But we know that sometimes the card could be more significant even than the gift. Certainly, the card is what gives the gift its depth, its meaning, its power, its attraction, its appeal, the feeling of dignity and affection and love and caring that the person feels at that moment. Yeah. I once heard a very it's a very very cute story. The labba didn't have children. He was married. His wife was the daughter of the previous lab. Her name was Rebay Mushkerson. She passed away 1988, a few years before the Reb. Their anniversary was Yudal Kislv, the 14th day of Kisa. They got married in Wars 1928. And they were together for 59 60 years till her passing. And it was very obvious they had a very very uh deep marriage. They're very very close relationship. And uh so I heard I heard recently one of the Reba secretaries shared for her for her anniversary people who knew her would send her you know gifts bouquets to congratulate her. One day it was the anniversary the Reb asked his secretary to send a telegram to his wife and he dictated you know those you remember the old telegrams you would dictate the telegrams. This be the old days you had to dictate a telegram. So he dictated the telegram of a beautiful blessing of mazav maz and it was in Russian. Remember they both grew up in Russia. So it was actually dictated in Russian which was her native her original language. I mean Russian yiddish and it's a beautiful telegram you know you do a few lines and then it came the signature. So the secretary was expecting you know uh the reba would give his name as a signature and she would get it from her husband and see him I guess a few hours later the said the signature should be guess who sent us and that's the telegram that his wife got for anniversary guess who sent us it was a side of the reba that most people didn't know so I was thinking about it and I realized the has a very profound depth to it because essentially that's the entire universe. I can get every gift in the world but without the love card I don't know who sent it to me. The whole world and everything we have is a telegram but the telegram is signed as follows. Guess who sent us every experience. Guess who sent us? That's what it's about. And when we really think about it, Yeah. imagine, imagine the following story. Yeah. Somebody I know it didn't happen and I wouldn't hold my breath that it's going to happen in this afternoon. Who knows? Imagine somebody invites you to their home. They live in the most beautiful, stunning home on the notion. Of course, weather is excellent all year around. The house is filled with cult of with every every delicacy in the world and with abundance. If you want, you have a tennis court, you have an indoor pool, you have a outdoor pool, you have solar energy, you even have a sauna, mashvitz, everything you have. The pantries are packed with abundance. And you're invited into this house. And they also say, "It's all on me. It's all on me. It's all on me. There's one room that's off limits. One room you CAN'T GO IN. THE WHOLE HOUSE ENJOY USE for how long? 90 years. 100. AS LONG YOURS, but one room is off limits and the rest is yours. Actually last year for my wife's birthday, I took her and my children to California for a few days to celebrate. So a friend of mine has a house on the ocean. So I asked them if they I could use it for a few days and they graciously it's a beautiful place and they graciously gave it to me. But the woman asked me she said this you could use the whole house but one room is off limits. Yeah. So now what do you think? When I was walking around the house, I'm like, such narcissism. You're so selfish. IT'S LIKE, I WANT TO BE IN THAT ROOM. Or actually, every time I saw that room, what did I think? Wow, what a gift, right? It's not my house. I'm not paying for it. I didn't have to pay a penny for it. It's a beautiful place. She also sent a cleaning lady. So, of course, that room actually reminded me how grateful I should be. That room is the card that reminds you that somebody gave you the gift. Hashem asks Adam and Kavi creates them. And the word is the key in the medish. Nisava comes in the word ty. We usually don't associate ty with God, right? Ty is like but Kazal associated it. Kava was not the first person who had a tya. Hashem is the first one who had a ta they say a story that they were once sitting the students of the m and discussing what's the purpose of creation why did hashem create the world and everybody gave this reason that a lot of different reasons and they asked the balatanya the alterba so he quoted this mish and he says I don't understand it SAYS a person HAS A T YOU DON'T START ASKING GOD WHAT DO YOU WANT WHAT DO YOU WANT YEAH YOU KNOW when you start telling your husband I want and he's like I'm going prove it to you that you don't really want it happens I'M GOING TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU RIGHT GOOD LUCK FOR THAT M RELATIONSHIP right so what was the balatine saying he wasn't saying it's a ty he's saying there's a place that's deeper than logic when we talk about a ty it could be just you know I'm numb I'm weak I'm bored I'm just looking for something to distract but if you understand the real idea of ty means logic itself was created so if you ask why did god create the world you really have to ask why is there a why they say there was once a philosophy professor and after 10 years of studying with his students post-docctorate programs he said there's going to be one final exam to see if they pass and they're certified and they get their PhDs so they're preparing for months for this test they thought it's going to be 300 questions I have to sit six hours they get the paper it's one question and the question has one word why so everybody sits down they learned philosophy for 10 years and they start writing essays and doctorates you know 70 pages Why? Why? Why? Everybody failed. Two students passed. One got an A and one got an A+. The one who got an A wrote because. And the one WHO GOT AN A+ WROTE, "WHY NOT?" YEAH. He had two Jewish kids FOR MONTHS. WHY? WHY NOT? RIGHT? You say, "Why did Hashem create the world is a beautiful question, but one second. Logic itself is a creation. So why did he create logic? Why? The world of why is already postcreation. So whatever was saying is logic itself is one of the things that was created. SO WHY IS THERE A WHY once we live in a world of logic? Why do you do this? Why you want TO GO HERE? WHY? WHY? WHY? But at the core of the soul it's it's beyond that. So says the one reason I want to live somewhere. Where did he want to live? What's that supposed to look like? My basement. I don't want to live in my basement. Why do you want to live God? You don't have a better place to live. Of course means in the lowest state of consciousness. The lowest state of consciousness is a state of consciousness where the telegram is signed. Guess who wrote this? We don't know. The lowest state of consciousness means the human consciousness that can be so fragmented and even immoral and disturbing and very very concealing of the truth of divine of the ancip of infinity. That's where I want to live. In other words, I want to live in your heart. I want to move into your heart. I want to be a tenant. I want to live in your like it says not I want to dwell in you. What's the idea of a garden? You ever went to the botanical gardens for example? Why do you go to a garden? You don't go to a garden to eat. If you want to eat, there's other places. If you want to eat, go to your kitchen and make food. It's better, healthier, cheaper. We go to a garden. There's a field, there's a farm, there's a restaurant, there's a supermarket, there's a garden. The place of a garden, what is a garden? What does it represent? It's a place of what? What do you go there for? the beauty. So what is it for? What are we looking for? >> Pleasure, connection, bliss. It's not what do you need a garden for? You want to eat cherries? I know I go to a field. I need to harvest my grain. I need to eat. I got that. I go to my farm. I harvest my vegetables. I need to eat. I get that. But a garden, you're strolling in a garden. What is it? Connection, leisure, beauty, an extracurricular activity. BLISS. NAVA. I have a craving. So he comes to Adam and he says, I'm putting you in my garden. I want you to eat from all the trees. Every tree is yours. But there's one tree that's off limits. What's the purpose? Every time they look at that tree, they say, "Ah, this is a gift. We don't own the garden. We didn't create the garden. It's a gift. Every fruit is a gift. Every tree is a gift. The sights are gifts. The smells ARE GIFTS. THE SOUNDS ARE GIFTS. The experience is a gift. Every breath is a gift. EAT FROM EVERY TREE. ENJOY. THIS IS A GARDEN FOR ENJOYING. I WANT TO LIVE WITH YOU. YOU'RE THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME. That's what HE'S SAYING. YOU'RE THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME. You say, "Nah, God. Come on. Let be serious. Me. You know what I was told in school? Maybe that's for the boys schools. Whatever. I don't know what they told you in school. Yeah, they're listening to the snake. But let me tell you what I have to say about you. Okay. You're the best thing that ever happened to me. I'll tell prove it. I have an option to live everywhere. I just want to live in your house. WE'RE IN MY HOUSE in the most nicest bedroom. No, no, no. I want to live. I want to live in all those places that you call dark. That's where I want to live. Really? You have nothing better to do with your life? I don't even want to live with me. Right? How many people don't want to live with themselves? Because they didn't get this memo. I have a friend, he's very into dreams. He says, "Rabbi, why I think you should get into your dreams. It'll be give you a lot of insight." I said, "I still have a hard time figuring myself out during the day. Once I'm done mastering what's going on during the day, then I'm going to get to my dreams. You know, GIVE ME A FEW hours of sleep. Enough. Enough." Right? The guy went to the Bahamas and he sends a letter to his therapist. He said, "I'm here in the Bahamas. I'm having a great time. I wish you were here to tell me why." Right. I wish you were here to tell me why we didn't get the memo. I want to live with you. There's something unbelievable for my ty for my craving. AND DON'T TRY to explain this logically because logic is part of the creation. Logic is here to facilitate this relationship. It's just a part of the relationship. But the relationship is at the core of everything. And it's A RELATIONSHIP IN A GARDEN. And that's why there's one tree that's off limits. So that you shouldn't make the mistake that this TENNIS BRACELET THAT THIS TELEGRAM JUST SHOWED UP AT YOUR DOOR. Guess who wrote this. Look at that tree. There's one room off limits. So that you remember you remember that this is all about the relational field. Always comes the snake and the snake says to Kavaim. He conveniently deletes one word, Hashem. Because the two names and is the name that represents compassion, connection, love. Elim represents judgment. Dinim is also 86 alhamd. The same word like nature. It's the telegram without a signature. Guess who sent this? You remember we spoke from the says when you say something in the name of the one who said it, you bring redemption to the world. What's the meaning of that? Why is that so important? I know it's not good to plagiarize. So the moral of Prague in his commentary on sorry he says something stunning. He says everything in the world has a speaker who says it. We say every morning he speaks and the world comes into being. But when we look at it, we just see it's here. The water is here. Oh, okay. Thank you. I have coffee beans. I'm breathing. Okay. I have eyes. If you look at everything and you identify no somebody actually speaks it right now into existence right now there's a relationship maybe you redeem the world from from helm from concealment the word in Hebrew Shapiro says davar in Hebrew means a thing but the same word that we use for a word because understands that everything is really a word davar is so because it's really being spoken into existence. There's a backend divine program that animates and it brings it to existence maybe and that tree is there to remind you that there's a relationship here that there's a gift comes the snake and says there's no and let me tell you the real story here the real story is brilliantly he says did God say not to eat from the trees says that's not true he said to eat from all the trees one tree don't eat and don't touch and that's where the says and because you're going to die so So the says you're not going to die. He just knows the truth. If you eat from that tree, you become like him and he doesn't want you to be like him. What was the brilliance of the nash? He didn't say to disobey. You heard what he said. That moment the consciousness of reality completely changed. What the serpent was telling her is there is a control game. God is the god of power. It's about power. And the question is who is going to be more powerful? He's afraid of your power. He wants to remain the tyrant and the dictator in the sky and down here. And he wants you subjugated, surrendered, subdued, beaten into compliance. That's the story. Elim is divorced from there's a control. Elim is power, strength. This is a god who wants control and power. That moment the equation changes. It says therashi brings say and it's strange the serpent had intimacy with and injected something into her. What does that mean? The metaphor here is very very profound. Intimacy means not a relationship from the outside. It's a relationship that is very very internalized. A child is created from that relationship. Then didn't speak to Kava. There was an intimacy there. He injected something in her energy in her nervous system which then Adam Mosa receives. They eat from this tree. What's the next step? Hashem says to Adam and Kava, "You're leaving on." Hashem tells to Adam, "Now your bread is going to be with a lot of work." But it's interesting in he was also put to work. YOU REMEMBER SO HE WAS WORKING BEFORE TOO. He wasn't created to be a lazy good for nothing a couch potato sitting like this and say, "God, I'm waiting for the potato chips. I asked for vanilla ice cream, not chocolate ice cream. Can your milkshake have a little less sugar?" What's the difference? The difference is in Ganed and Adam and Kava experienced every moment the bliss of the relationship. Of course, he was working. He loved to work. He's a channel. He's bringing in the light was experiencing they tug of it. What happens the moment they eat from the tree? They're not in Ganeden anymore. It's not a punishment. It's a consequence. Now I look at the world and I'm like, you give me that house, you tell me one room is off limits and when the owner comes back a week later, a year later to celebrate with me, I throw them out of the house. It's my house. I call the police. I throw you out of the house. Why should I split this house with somebody? So you gave me the house as a gift. You told me one bedroom is off limits. Now I have a control of the house. You come back, I even forget who you are. I throw you out. I want that bedroom. And you know what happens to this house? From a ganed, it becomes a gem. Now I see everything that's wrong with the house. There's a leak here. There's a problem here. There's a challenge here. My paradise turned into purgatory. Why? Because I stopped experiencing the gift of life itself. The gift of the relationship itself. Adam was working before. But at this moment, right now, your life is going to be defined internally by a state of natural stress, anxiety. Why? You're losing sight of the love that's happening right here, right now. The whole purpose was this. I actually want to just hang out with you. You're the best thing that ever happened to me. Can we live together? And this is my bliss. It's your bliss. That's what means your nervous system can feel every moment that you are the best thing that ever happened and my deepest enjoyment is to be with you in this amazing amazing garden and together take this journey 24/7 and I don't want to separate from YOU EVER EVER WHY NOT BECAUSE THIS IS MY VACATION THIS IS MY TYA but I'm not even such a good I WE'LL TALK ABOUT THAT LATER. BUT I'M CRAZY about you. That's what I am. THAT'S WHAT IT'S SAYING. BUT LOGICALLY DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. I'M FINE. I created logic. I'm good. That's the truth. And in this there's the ultimate safety. There's the ultimate trust. There's the ultimate enjoyment. The moment the serpent got into kava and Adam's nervous system, the equation of life changed from bliss to control. From a state of bliss, it's now a question of how do I maintain control? It's mine. And once it's mine, now there's a lot of stress. There's a lot a lot of anxiety. Now everything changes. The same reality could be experienced from two different perspectives. When I experience that I'm in a garden and my showing up with an open heart is the greatest thing that ever happened to Hashem. Everything I'm doing is I'm showing up in order to fulfill my partnership in repairing the world. When I wrestle control from you, throw you out of the house. Now it's a question of how much control I have and in life we all know how difficult that becomes. So my gunaden turns into a gehenn and the same plowing and harvesting becomes a headache and I'm sweating and the same g miracle of child birth or child rearing could become so so difficult and challenging something internally changed. Now they're in the garden afterwards. Hashem is walking. He's strolling in the garden. He's strolling. He's strolling. Why are you strolling, God? You don't have what to do. It's 3:00. Go work. Go work. You don't know what to do. You don't have what to do. You're busy. I want to be in the garden. Here's the interesting thing. Even after they eat from the tree, they made a mistake. But God is like, "We're still in the garden. I'm strolling. Where's Adam? We have a date. Don't we have a date? 3:00. IT'S TIME TO GO. BUT THEY'RE HIDING, RIGHT? It says they hear the voice of what happens? Where are you? What's this question of where are you? So Adam says, I'm hiding from you. I can't face you. I'm naked. I'm horrible. What happened just now? What happened just now? It's interesting. The first question of to Adam is not why do you eat from the tree? That's not the question. What's the first question? Where are you? I would think the first question is you low life. I gave you what mitzvah. Why did you eat from the tree? He knew he ate from the tree. He didn't know. If he's God, he probably knew. It's not what HE ASKS HIM. AYAKA, WHERE ARE YOU? WHY ARE YOU HIDING? HE SAYS, "Cuz I I don't have clothes." It's very embarrassing. Says, "Ah, you ate from the tree." Interesting how he does that. What's going on there? Here is one of the profoundest moments in the story. What happens after the tree? What happens after the tree is there's the neil? There's the downfall that comes from eating of the tree. But then there's something deeper and that is the shame that comes from the downfall. the nefil that comes from the nefil and that becomes more devastating than the sin itself. It's the fact that now you feel I hate you and you can't show up anymore. We can't be honest anymore. Now you feel I let go of you. Our relationship was transactional. You ate from the tree. We're done. That's also what the snake did. That's what control is. It was a control relationship. I control you. I get from you what I need and I'll give you a paycheck. It's transactional. It's not essential anymore. The inner joy of the nervous system that you're the best thing that ever happened to Hashem, that the love is eternal and constant. Now it depends. If I had a good day, I'LL SHOW UP. HEY GOD, I'M READY TO MEET YOU. OH, now I'm actually I look horrible. You don't know how I'm dressed. I'm actually not dressed. I wanted to go shopping, but I don't have anything to wear to go shopping. So are like God this not happening today like no way ah you ate from the tree the tree did something else it created a transactional relationship you can't be honest with me anymore our relationship is very very dependent it's very very skin deep but you ate from the tree I love you I'm crazy about you let's talk come here they won't go into hiding Ayaka, where are you? In life, we make mistakes. We all make mistakes. At least I make mistakes. And the mistake is a mistake. There's something that's even worse than the mistake. What's worse than the mistake is the despair that comes afterwards. The inner shame, the disassociation, the fact that we identify the essence with that mistake. The fact that now you don't want to see me. Now I am ashamed for eternity. Look at me. Now I see how ugly I am. I'm not wearing clothes. How can I show up to God? You'll never ever look at me again. I need to put on a nice suit. I need to put on a nice tie. I need to come with a presentation. My honest, vulnerable, authentic self. I could never ever ever ever show you. And from that day, the snake inside of me is always dressing up. always covering up, always protecting myself, always in a relationship that's transactional to the profound point that I may not even know that there's anything else. The no has be ingested so much of that toxicity inside of me. I don't even know that there's another option. I don't even know that there's another possibility. I don't even know that there's another existence. I have learned that life is divorced from bliss. I don't even know what that means. To the point that this entire language, which is the language of redemptive, redemption, often becomes forgotten in our very consciousness. God becomes a vendor and we're the customer. We sing. But the says, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're a vending machine and we're the customer. The question is how we get the machine to send out the goodies. You're the powerful. I'm the victim. You're the one who's I don't know very very very very big and strong and I'm the wretched soul who comes here nebak begging and begging and begging and usually half the time you say no depends on the mood. I don't know maybe if I'll do THIS KABAL OR THAT KABALA MAYBE I'LL CATCH a different mood." The whole relationship is one that is divorced from an experiential deep connection and bliss. And it's not because a person chooses it. A person doesn't even know of anything else. That entire the entire definition of life is not me in the grip of your trust, of your love, of your benevolence, of experiencing that this relationship is at the DNA of existence. That this relationship matters more than anything else. That this garden is our garden together. But now it's a different type of story. Just like in relationships, this happens so often. The moment they eat from the tree, Adam's relationship also changes forever. When Hashem says, "Did you eat from the tree?" He says, "My wife gave me the fruit." What just happened? What just happened? What just happened? You understand what happened? Now life is experienced in a new way. Now the question is, who's right? Who's wrong? Can I blame you and vindicate myself? What what what happens here? It's exactly what happens in a relationship. The question now turns from experiencing the safety of closeness and of radical acceptance and love to a question of how do I protect myself in a very very dangerous reality. What happens between man, woman, and Hashem happens between man and woman, woman and man. And it's not because they're choosing to be malicious. It's because the vocabulary of their nervous system has been transformed. That's the toxicity that the put into there's a different language internally. I don't even know of another language. This is the consciousness of an exiled life. And the one word is where are you? Where are you? You're like, why do you want to know where I am? You hear the question? Why do you want to know where I am? Oh, you want to give me muser? You know when somebody asks you where were you last night? What are you hearing in it? Right. A husband comes home where right wife texts where are you? What does he hear in it? What does she hear in it? I can hear two opposite things. In the Grenedan paradigm, you know what I'm hearing? I miss you so much. I miss you so much. Imagine if that's what every husband would understand when his wife says why you're so late. You said three hours, right? YOU EVER GET THAT THREE HOURS AGO YOU SAID YOU WERE COMING HOME, RIGHT? And he's like oh here she goes and suddenly my he was a bitzvah. There was a vaknak there was call whatever the snake came to me. Whatever it is what did he hear? Why did you do this? >> Why did you do this you loser? Why do you do this a horrible husband? Why do you do this self-centered person or your existence is here for me? Don't really you can't be independent. The message is one there's no real trust. I'm not blaming anybody. I'm not judging anything. I'm identifying the issue. I'm not judging not the man, not the woman, but it's always about identifying with compassion. if the fact that he's feeling this way or she's feeling that way, that's a feeling. But acknowledging it and looking at it is what allows us to go into a new state of consciousness. But imagine if what he was experiencing is, I miss you so much. You're the best thing that ever happened to me. And just being together is infinite bliss. But now let's go shift to the wife. When she says, "Where are you?" What is she experiencing? >> So frustrating, >> right? It's so frustrating because what happens is as follows. This is what it means that we left Ganed. The Zar says says he expelled the Adam from Ganed. So the Zoy says we don't know who expelled who. Is it God who expelled Adam or is it Adam who expelled God? And the zoyer says Adam expelled God from Ganed. Now that's pretty dearing. What is he SAYING HERE? WHAT? COME ON. How how much can you twist the story? He's actually telling us the true story. The true story is of course of course you're in Grenaden. Never stopped. It never ceased. But the moment you expelled me from Ganeden, or to put it differently, you turned me into a snake. You turned me into a power monger. You turned me into something I'm not. The ganedan turned into a gah. The world is a tough place. The world is a difficult place. The world is a challenging place. When she is frustrated, where are you? Again, again, again. And now the story is I can't trust my husband. He never said does what he says. He's so in his own world. Okay, he pays for some of the bills sometimes. And now your brain is now in RIGHT IN THIS BACK FORTH BACK FORTH BACK FORTH. We completely lost hold of the nisava the craving the tya. It's not anybody's fault. This is protection. Everybody he's trying to protect himself. She's trying to protect herself. I don't want to get hurt again. I don't want to get hurt. I don't want somebody that always reminds me that I am bad. And I don't want somebody who holds the key to me feeling bad about myself or me feeling said, you know what? Let me disassociate and go create a life for myself. Yeah, go to Yeshir as much as you want. Go go go go go go with your friends. Go go go go go. But there's a there's a frustration. There's a pain over there. The pain is not allowing us to get from the place of this deep disappointment to a place of of trust. That's a lot a lot of work. That's the work of going from gene to ganed from going from gullis to gula. And that's the word aha. The word is the word ayaka means where are you? Where are you? Don't you understand? All I want is you. No, that can't be. You don't want me. YOU HATE ME. YOU KNOW HOW I KNOW YOU HATE ME? CUZ I HATE ME. That's the snake talking. I hate me. Of course you hate me. I KNOW ME BETTER THAN YOU, RIGHT? I KNOW YOU. IF I HATE ME, FOR SURE YOU HATE ME. IF I HAVE SELF- CONTEMPT, IF I HAVE SELF-SHAME, WHEN YOU KNOW WHO I AM, FOR SURE YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO LOOK AT ME AGAIN. THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS. I'M NAKED. I have to PUT ON NICE CLOTHES TO IMPRESS YOU. And God says, "Oh my God, did you eat from that tree? Did you eat from that tree? You have to put on what? To impress me? Really? Who told that to you?" Well, you know what I did yesterday? You know how I I I lied. I transgressed. I deceived. Wow. So, you made a mistake. Okay, so let's talk. I love you. I'm crazy about you. There's something in you that is infinitely valuable. No, that's not true. I'm not dressed up. I need to dress up. And that's the moment my relationship with Hashem is transactional. It's superficial because Hashem turned from Hashem to Alikim. I now believe in it's just about power. I'm really here to make you miserable. At least I'm really here to control you even if I reward you. It's very very transactional. That essential relationship of oneness is completely gone. Imagine that moment when the child, the infant is in the grip and in the embracing arms of its mother and the mother is completely regulated. Now I know that's hard because regulation in our world is hard. But imagine that moment a mother is regulated and of course our infants feel everything if not consciously subconsciously and it creates neural pathways and the boy or the girl who may be a week old or a month old or six months old you remember and you're holding them and you look into their eyes and they're experiencing from your heart one feeling and that is you are the best thing that ever happened to me. There's nowhere else I want to be. Now you're like Rabbi Y why? Okay, stop fantasizing. Okay, somebody has a job. Somebody has to pay bills. There's eight kids that need dinner. The cleaning lady did not show up. What's with the laundry? I'm making a tomorrow night. You be regulated. I get it. This is not judgmental of anybody. But when that child feels that, what happens in their nervous system? They relax. There's a non-negotiable sense of invincibility. There's an internal core. I make make mistakes but I have a reference point of wholeness. I am not a mistake. I made a mistake. I had a weak moment. I have a yates. I have an animal consciousness. Yeah. And I fall. And you know what? I can apologize. I can be remorseful. I could say this won't I'm going to learn my lessons. WOW. AMAZING. WOW. THAT'S WHY YOU'RE HUMAN. LET GOD BE GOD. YOU BE HUMAN. Humans make mistakes and learn from it. God is God. But what happens is I am the mistake. You'll never look at me again. Of course you don't want to live with me. Of course you want to throw me out of the house. Of course I will never come back again if I'm not dressed up in this most impressive wedding gown. And if there's a stain, I will run away into hiding forever. And at that moment, Hashem looks at Adam and says the shame that comes after the tree, that real real belief that this is over because this relationship was just about what you did and what you didn't do. It's not essential. Now Ganeden, the experience of Ganeden is replaced internally. Now all of life is I take it for granted. The telegram was here. Guess who wrote it? Nobody wrote it. It's my telegram. It's my tenants bracelet. It's my hum. And now the question is who has more toys? Who controls more? And here life is always miserable. You know why? Cuz I could never control really. And whatever I have, there's always something missing. I'm not anymore sitting in a garden as a guest of the every moment. Now it's my house. You know, when you live in somebody else's house, you see everything that's beautiful. When you live in your own house, you see everything that's problematic, right? The cabinet has this and the this this and the this this, right? Your friend's house also has these problems. But when I'm IN MY HOUSE, IT'S MINE. IT'S MINE. AND I WANT IT PERFECT. I'm in your house. I just appreciate. Wow. Amazing. I'm so enjoying your house right in the garden. IT'S YOUR HOUSE AND I'M SHOWING UP. I'm showing up the way you want me to show up with an open heart. And that's the whole difference. And therefore, the curse after the what is it a curse of? It's a curse that the same experience of life is with already a different song. Oi. Oi. Oi. And that's the ayah. Where are you? After you fell. That's the second fall. There's the first one and then there's the shame. And this is the how how did it happen? How did you become so lonely? How did a story that is all about connection become a story that ends up in profound loneliness? How did that happen? Now let's bring it together. Okay. The one who laments a is the creator himself. I want to see everything with you. I want to see everything. I just want to be with you. So that's why the takes out the word. He puts in the wordim and that's why and are so connected. How how does such a most experiential bliss end up in such misunderstanding between us? How did that happen? How did that really happen? And that's the essence of what exile is. When we speak about gullos, it's not just geographical. It's not just the pains of gullus. Of course, it's all that. There's something inside our DNA that comes from a snake. Aha. How did such connection, how did such promise ended up in such disappointment? At best, you're having a good day with me, but so transactional, so skinde, and so so divorced from the real intent. But now you'll say, "Rabbi, why we're all very very nice, but let's face it, this ain't no garden." Okay? There's a lot of Turus, a lot of problems. Like Shine, this house is filled with a lot of scorpions. You give me a nice house on the beach and you say fine, one bedroom is off limits. But should I tell you what else is happening in this house? That's a good question. And that's why the name of this tree is the knowledge of good and evil. And that's the tree that's off limits. The tree that's off limits is the tree of knowledge. What is good and what is evil? And what's the first thing it says when took the fruit? She looked at it and she said, "This is good." Hashem said this is not good. She said this is good. The knowledge of what is good and what is not good. This is off limits to a human being. This is not the tree of a human being. When I eat from that tree, I go from ganeden into gan. This doesn't mean life doesn't have pain. I don't have to share that with you. We all know that and some of you know this all too well and very personally and intimately. What it means is for a person to sit down in the morning and say this is good, this is evil. This is your tree. If my child is this way, it's good. If my child is this way, it's bad. If this is my life, it's good. If this is my life, it's evil. I just went out of ganed and I went into ganam. Of course, everybody wants the most perfect, blissful, beautiful life on every level. And you should all have that life. In the process of learning redemption, it's really understanding the gift and the power to know what is in my realm and what is not in my realm. Eat all the trees. Enjoy the trees. To decide what is good and what is not good. For this you need to be the creator. To really know the backend program to say my life is good, my life is a curse. Today is good, tomorrow, this day is evil. I was once at the it was I think it was Kanek and I was coming out from Davening and I met this Jew and he meets me and he says I want to tell you a I thought of right literally it means says this day Hashem made let's rejoice whatever happened on that day he says let me tell you my interpretation and I I LOVED IT MY INTERPRETATION THIS DAY this day this Tuesday. You know who made it? Hashem. Hashem made it. It's his telegram. Guess who sent this day to you? Enjoy it. I don't have to create a picture of what it's supposed to look like. My wife is supposed TO BE LIKE THIS. MY HUSBAND IS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS. MY CHILD'S SUPPOSED TO BE THIS WAY. MY GRANDDAUGHTER'S SUPPOSED to be this way. I could prove it to you. They're not supposed to. You know why? Cuz they're not. If they were supposed to, they would be. And now my whole life could GO INTO FIGHTING GOD TOGETHER WITH THE SNAKE. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? CONTROL FREAK. I'M GOD. I KNOW WHAT'S GOOD. And the rest of my life I'm busy fighting Hashem. And where am I? I'm an Aanam. I'm literally aim. And the and and I start arguing. God is more powerful. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO WIN. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO WIN. I'M BIGGER THAN YOU. I'M STRONGER THAN YOU. And that entire experience becomes an experience of a very aggravating and frustrating relationship. So now how does one begin to heal from this? So here we come to the last point and this is what we're going to finish with here. If you go to the source sheet, I want you to take a look please because here we're going to see and this is the our last point. How do we experientially relate to this? What does this mean? What do I do with all of this? Very very nice rabbi. Very very nice. Thank you. I'm in. Okay. Very nice grenade. I don't feel this grenade. What what does a person do with this? What does this actually mean in a very practical visceral way? So here I want to show you two sources. The first is this. This is you see uh one two three four five line five paragraphs from the from the end. This is how the begins when a person wakes up right away. A person should consider and think meditate before they're lying. But in whose presence? They should know that Hashem is hovering over the person. I place Hashem before me always. A person should put to heart that Hashem is standing right there and seeing what is happening right now. You could read this. This is the opening of the Dam writes this and it's like a pressure. God, just give me a few minutes. Okay, I didn't even brush my teeth. I didn't check my text messages. I just woke up. I didn't even sleep well. You know, it was 5 hours. I was thinking about all these things. Come visit me in an hour. Okay. Essen. I didn't have my yogurt. I didn't take my vitamins. I DIDN'T DO LEAVE ME ALONE RIGHT AWAY. YOU WAKE UP. OH, HE'S HERE. HE'S HERE ALREADY. HE'S HERE. OKAY. You give me five minutes. Right. If you have an appointment, LET ME GET DRESSED. LET ME BE WHAT DO YOU I'M I'M UNDER MY BLANKET FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE. the right we could take it completely from a gehenn perspective. So now I'm bringing you the next source if you'll see I had the privilege actually of being there. This is a talk of the lab the 15th of he speaking about gardens 1985 actually the year of my mitzvah and he explained this of what it does to a person experientially. I want you to see a shift in perspective is telling us before I should already place Hashem before me. Even before I say to be aware and to meditate on the fact that Hashem is here standing here and actually gazing at me. We'll move on. One understands. If you think even for a millisecond about this, this shall trigger the deepest type of bliss in the world. Why? I need cameras all over me. It's enough that Google knows everything. Now I need somebody else. What's the on hand? You're talking about a regular human being, flesh and blood. And also, every person knows their internal life and what's happening inside your soul. And you know, I'm a person. I'm human. I'm vulnerable. I make mistakes. I'm a person of flesh and blood with all my frailties. I didn't even do. So that means my hands are impure and I'm still half asleep. You know that feeling, right? When your alarm clock is mocking you, etc. The person didn't even say they didn't even say anything. So on one level, you're in a very very humble and lowly situation. I'm asleep. I'm half asleep. My hands are impure. I'm I know who I am on a good day. I just woke up. I may have even had a bad dream. Who knows? It's a very lowly and simple situation. And at that moment, what are our sages telling us? Hashem himself that the whole world is filled with his infinity. He decides, I'm coming to your bedroom. I want to be here. He comes before YOU WAKE UP. HE'S standing there. IMAGINE RIGHT NEAR YOUR BED. RIGHT near as it says in Tanya chapter 41 he leaves everything so to speak to designate his relationship with you standing looking at you because this relationship is more valuable than anything else in the world says the issue is something that will really give you more pleasure in the world than this. You don't even need meditation. Hashem, so to speak, abandons everything. He says one thing. I'm looking forward to your maidani. Guess who sent it? I'm looking forward. What's maidani? Maidani is thank you for another day. Thank you for my consciousness. Thank you for my soul. That's what I'm here. I'm looking forward so we could stroll IN THIS GARDEN TOGETHER. THINK ABOUT IT. The second to the last paragraph. Even the most simple person who's not very philosophical knows there's a difference between a created being and a creator. Yeah, I know. EVEN IF I'M NOT A GREAT PHILOSOPHER, I KNOW I did not create this universe. I know that I did not create 70 trillion cells. I wouldn't even know how to create one cell. I don't even understand a cell. Certainly create I DIDN'T CREATE THE SUN. I DIDN'T CREATE A WORM. I didn't create a neuron. I didn't create an atom. I DON'T EVEN KNOW. We don't even understand what an atom is. Certainly, I didn't create it. And in my body, THERE'S 70 TRILLIONS. EVERYBODY UNDERSTANDS the difference. Every person knows there's a huge universe. with crazy insane diversity. Every leaf, every worm, every blade of grass, every shrub, every star. And everybody understands that nothing could create itself. Because if it didn't exist, it wasn't here to create itself. And if it it's here, somebody had to create it because it wasn't here before. And if the world is so vast, today we know about 93 billion light years. So think about the creator of the universe when you tell a person. So when you come to this person and you see that this infinite creator came here standing here and what his enjoyment is to be able to experience life with you and hear your before you washed your hands when you're not let even say hashem's name that's why doesn't have hashem's name because IT'S BEFORE AND NOW I WANT TO HEAR YOU BEFORE YOU WASHED YOUR HANDS BEFORE YOU brushed your teeth when THE BREATH IS NOT THE BEST NOW I'M HERE. This is a spilus. It's a gald spilus. If I can lean into this emotionally, experientially, what does this say about you? What does this say about who you are? What does this say about the safety YOU'RE IN? THE LAST PARAGRAPH. YOU JUST WOKE up and already in your sleep, HE WAS HERE WAITING. YOU KNOW IT RIGHT AWAY before you go so crazy you can't even hold back till YOU WASH YOUR HANDS. YOU HAVE TO SAY MAIDANI BEFORE YOU WASH YOUR HANDS. THAT'S THE REASON we say maidani before we wash OUR HANDS. YOU'RE LIKE OH MY GOD I HAVE TO SAY SOMETHING LIKE YEAH I KNOW I can't say abra I can't I can't say hashem's NAME I CAN'T BUT SOMETHING SOMETHING IT'S LIKE wow I can't believe this. SO RIGHT AWAY A JEW BURST OUT. I'm so grateful. The experiential visual here is it's very very difficult to strip ourselves from sometimes years and years and years of belief systems that are so deeply ingrained in our template and there's so much pressure and there's so many ideas. This is good and this is bad and so many calculations. What we're invited here to do is to step in to a redemptive consciousness. Redemptive conscious doesn't mean we become naive and the world is a perfect place. We're still waiting for gula every moment. We know that. But it begins internally, right? The collective gula begins with an internal gula. And the internal gula means that ability to notice everything that's going on. I can't repress it. I can't deny it. But stepping here into to a different type of experience. What if this was really true? I'm going to ask you. I believe it's true, but I want you to think of it that way. What if your nervous system can actually experience this truth? What would that look like? If when you wake up in the morning, your internal heart, your body, your bones, your muscles, your nervous system, your brain, your soul, your consciousness can experience this truth. You'll say, "YEAH, BUT GOD, WHY DID YOU do this to me and look at what's happening here and look at this family and there's a list of a hundred things, especially if you make the mistake of checking the news too early in the day and what? Got it. Now you're eating from the tree that doesn't belong to you. It doesn't belong to you. I don't have what to say. I don't know. I don't even know how the sun works. I don't know how all the systems work. I don't know. I don't know. But here, I do have a choice. I could deny that the telegram was sent by somebody and I could just wrestle control and now I live in my own little purgatory trying to be safe and protected. I stay small, safer in control. But what if my nervous system can open itself up to this genuine authentic experience? This doesn't make you naive. It doesn't make you an irresponsible person. The people you need to show up for, you'll actually show up. But you know what you'll happen? You're going to show up to them with more genuine bliss. You're going to show up to them with more love, with more power. When somebody is suffering, the last thing they need from me is to suffer. One suffering person doesn't help another suffering person. If somebody is homeless, me becoming homeless won't give them a home. When you're miserable and now I also BECOME MISERABLE. SO NOW WE HAVE TWO MISERABLE PEOPLE WHO A THIRD GUY HAS to worry about. Some mothers and fathers think if their children are miserable then mitzvah is they should be miserable. Your kid IS MISERABLE AND NOW YOU HAVE THE BEING HAPPY. YOU SELFISH NARCISSISTIC MAMA. YOU'RE like hugar. Be miserable. Be more miserable than your kids cuz your kid doesn't have a mother like you because YOUR KID HAS A MOTHER like you. So you're suffering for your child. And this sounds very very right. Right. The more I suffer the more love we become. we we associate it to. It's the opposite. The worst pressure on the child is that now they made their mother miserable, too. I'm telling you, one of the worst things for children is to feel that they destroyed their parents' life. One of the greatest gifts you can give your kids is, "Honey, mommy is actually doing very well. Mommy is enjoying life. Come, we're putting on the music. We're going to dance. Mommy is doing amazing." Really? Well, no, no, NOT NOT THIS MAMA. NEVER SAW THEM. OI, oi oi. That's what empowers people. Empathy doesn't mean I'm miserable. Empathy means I believe in you. I see your strength. I'm here for you. I'm supporting you. I'm here for you. Of course, I could I feel the pain, but I don't become destroyed in that process by believing that your life is just a destiny of a curse because I know you're in a garden. Hashem never left the garden. Adam, I'm sorry. Adam never left the garden. He threw God out of the garden. BRING HIM BACK INTO THE garden and it starts the moment I wake up. It's a different it's a different code in the brain. This is now it comes full circle. What'su complains about the burdens right? So now she says you know what the greatest burden in the world is a preicurs. This I saw in a s called from of breast. The greatest masa in the world is a preicurs. You know why? Because this is what turns paradise into purgatory. What happens with mobenu? They say ah he came out early of the house. He's having a fight. Oh he came out late of the house. He's planning against us. That is what apicursus is. They can't trust that Mosher Rabenu is actually doesn't have a transactional relationship with them. He actually loves me. He came out early. He came out. They don't trust anymore. And because they don't trust, they have to protect themselves. Ah, what's mosha planning. What's the essence of Apicursus? It's the greatest masa in the world. It's wrestling away control from Hashem. It's saying I am God. And there's no burden in the world like replacing God. There's no burden in the world when I have to dismiss Hashem and relegate him to either frustration or negativity or control or power. And now I'm left to carry all the pain and anxiety in my world, in my family, in my home, in the universe. If you're a good Jew, the greatest masa in the world is apicursus. But what aus does is there's no garden. There's no garden. There's no meaning. There's no bliss whatsoever. All there is is survival. Survival of the fittest. You survive your way, I'll survive my way. You can't really trust. The core of the universe is not trust. The core of the universe is not. The core of the universe is not love. The core of the universe is survival. The best way possible. That strips me from the essential ingredient of relaxation of real relaxation. The word means that if you go to the deepest backend code of the world, you know program those of you who know about programming, you write a program, you write a code and that becomes the whole computer. If you could read God's code of the entire universe and then you read the essence of the code, what's the core code? Nisava. Nisava means I crave you. I love you. I want you. That's the code. That's it. I'm crazy about you. You, you, you. That, that's that's the code word. From there comes everything else. Heaven and earth AND UNIVERSE. BUT THAT'S THE code word. Feel into that when you wake up in the morning. That's it. That's it. Lean into it. Let your body experience it. And the difference is purgatory versus paradise. Have a beautiful week. Thank you. This class is brought to you by the yeshiva.net. Please help us continue the classes. Make even a small contribution at ww.theshiva.net/donate.