The Perfection of Imperfection: The Secret of Matanos L'aevyonim - By Rabbi YY Jacobson

the yeshiva dotnet what we want to focus today on behaves in Russian is the term Matano Slovenian Martinez love unum is translated as gifts to those who are poor to those who are destitute and it is one of the central mistress of Purim that the halacha obligates every Jew to give Matano Slav unum which is a plural for a plural term meaning at least two poor people to have youngnam I give Mata nice I give gifts to each of these poor people where Mishler Munoz is Ashley Rey a who the obligation is to give McManus to each person his friend or her friend one friend not ray of betray who only to one person where might honest love your name is minimum two people but of course one could and should add as much as they can yet what is unusual about this term is usually the term from Atanas love uranium throughout the year is called Sadako which is really what mikanos love yharnam is its charity it's giving charity to somebody who needs it it's not like Miss Lewis Moniz showers Moniz is not helping the poor shallow commonness is an exchange of gifts of foods representing love and unity and friendship and camaraderie it's to a friend the friend may be very wealthy they're very successful but what I give them gifts of food I fulfill the Mitzvah of Michalis Moniz Martinez love yharnam is particularly and exclusively to those who are needy aeverine is somebody who's destitute somebody who doesn't have anything and therefore might honest love yharnam is really a gift of charity it's sadaqa but I'm poor and we don't call it Sadako I'm pouring the Megillah defines it as Martinez love your name as a gift and it's an important distinction because sadaqa is not mokona charity is not a gift Matan Amin's something else than sadaqa you might say what's the difference all charity is a gift you're giving a charitable gift the gift of charity the gomora says the talmud says in a few places above them would see in other places he loved the of it nice Allah Masha Allah yo la ma Kanta meaning a gift is always reciprocal on some level I don't just give a gift out of the blue if somebody did not do me a favor if somebody has not benefited me in some way if I don't feel some death of gratitude to somebody some appreciation some sense of commitment of love a friendship something I get from this person I don't give a gift who do we give gifts to you give a gift to a good friend you give a gift to a spouse you give a gift to a child you give a gift to a parent you give a gift to an employee to an employer to a colleague to a partner to somebody who simply are coming to a bar mitzvah wedding and so forth but there is a relationship on the anniversary you may buy Oh an anniversary gift or on the birthday you might buy a birthday gift you want to show appreciation appreciation for what appreciation for what they do for you appreciation for what you do for each other an appreciation it'sit's something that is reciprocal a gift is not born in a vacuum why are you giving me this gift oh I saw you this morning I decided to give you a gift by definition that is the meaning of a gift the Gemara puts it he loved the of it nice of an option if not for the one who received the gift doing knife Ulyanovsk giving me something that is meaningful nicer means like no forgive me something that's that's meaningful to me that's beneficial for me I would not give a gift so either I owe you a debt of gratitude either I want to show you appreciation or even I have a special love to this person this person does something for me there triggers love and I want to show it through a gift what about my honest love Jana Martinez love your name has nothing to do with a particular poor person who has given me something even a favor or said something nice to me and therefore I'm giving them a gift my honest love yharnam Emporium is connected to any single poor person I may know him I may not know it I may be acquainted with her I may not be acquainted with there could be a complete stranger Rashi says the definition of an evii EIN is from the word taught a v' law called over meaning he or she craves everything because they're completely destitute anything I can give them already means something in other words the person actually has nothing they couldn't have given me anything even if they wanted to so it's actually the antithesis of a gift a gift is coming as a receptor addressed as the token of reciprocity because of what you've given me the true everyone actually has nothing to give and thus I'm giving charity to this person why then does the Megillah decide to change the normal term that we use throughout you disguise for charity called sadaqa and here we call it not sadaqa we could have said Sadako levy Onam would have been very clear charity for the poor or just sadaqa sadaqa by definition is too poor not too rich in fact somebody who's not supposed to take two duck and takes tadaka it's a wrong thing sadhakas made for a person who cannot make ends meet who cannot cover their bills so Sadako would have been a perfect term we call it Martinez love um now you might say there's a famous expression of Hazael yo sir me Mashable ha bias I say my only on e isomer Bala bites more than the giver does for the taker the taker does for the giver just as the wealthy person the giver does a benefit for the poor person it's also the other way around so you could say there is give and take I'm not only giving I'm also receiving but that's still not like a Madonna because by a Madonna buy a gift first I receive and then I give the gift I work for you I want to show appreciation for you I'm a friend of yours I'm a neighbor of yours I'm a family of yours I want to show appreciation after what you have given me maybe for a year for a lifetime for a few weeks or something special you did for me or you did for my family or you're such a good neighbor and you put up you put up my family for our sins and I want to show appreciation so I buy your chocolate next Shabbos but the appreciation comes after what you have given me the gift follows what you have given me here it's the other way around here we're saying as a result of giving sadaqa the poor person also does something for you it's still not the same concept of madonna if the right word for sadaqa is really a gift why all you do we call it sadaqa and only poor them do we change the term from sadaqa to Madonna's love you're in them now at surface you might say what's the difference the concept is the same who cares if the expression is sadaqa who cares if the expression is Madonna's love yharnam the point is the same call it a gift to call it charity don't want to call it a gift cuz he get it didn't get anything before it's completely inspired from yourself you're not reciprocating what he what he or she has given you before fine don't call it Madonna's love join them why are we making such an issue of this but the truth is that in Tara the principle is that sometimes from small nuances and small details larger universes unravel deep existential truths and ideas emerge not only from large discussions but also from small little details and nuances and Yiddish guide it's not unlike the human organism in which every cell contains the DNA of the entire organism every cell essentially has within it a copy of that which really makes up the entire body in every genome as it's called you have a reflection of the entire organism 50 trillion cells in a body give or take and each cell each minuscule tiny cell has within it the picture the code of the entire zowie cetera Adam Toyota's compared to a human being every prat of Terra in every cell of you disguise you can ultimately find discover and reconstruct all of Judaism so sometimes the smallest details mirror the most cosmic profound truths of Judaism it would be like at night you have a cup of water and the moon is reflected in the cup of water the entire moon is reflected in the cup of water the entire Sun you could sometimes see in the water not to say that this this cup of water is the size of the moon but sometimes the entire moon in its totality can be mirrored can be appreciate it can be seeing through the prism of this cup of water in this nuanced change from the word sadaqa to the term Etana slovenian we really have conveyed one of the profound unique components of the holiday of Purim and therefore the Madonna's love your name the gifts to the poor that we give on Purim in order to appreciate this I'm going to change the subject we have in Judaism leap years every 19 years we have seven leap years our calendar is divided into units of 19 years don't shut down yet you'll understand everything you're hearing years units leap years do you think I'm going to astronomy and cosmology relax relax every unit our calendar is divided into units of 19 years every 19 every set of not like sets of 19 years every set of 19 years has 12 regular years and 7 leap years 12 and 7 makes up 1912 regular years means years that are comprised of 12 months 7 leap years meanings years that are comprised of 13 months a leap year in Judaism is called a shun embarrass literally a pregnant year quite literally because the year is pregnant with another child with another month it has another whole month another four weeks 30 days added to that year when we have a leap year it's always in the month of other we never add another month in the calendar it's always the month of other has other recent and other Shanee every few years is going to be a leap here again within a unit of 19 years you'll have seven leap years which means every two to three years we will have a second order a leap year when there are two others when do we celebrate Purim the second order the first poem of the first art is called Purim cotton poram goggle the real poem or the ultimate poem is always other shiny why is that so there are reasons given the Euro shall me says comedy rashon me says that the original poem the original poem that happened the first time around was a leap year it was a leap year and the miracle happened there for an other Shanee in the second other it was a leap year now there's a big discussion exactly what that means if it was initially a leap year if it became later a leap year after Hammond made Xavier it became a leap year if home and made Xavier on the first other but according to our sages that are there was a leap year and that is significant why do we have leap years why is it that every few years we decide to add a whole month what's the problem is it we wanted to lay the summer is it we want more of the year what is it that drives our calendar to establish an extra month the answer has to do with one detail you have heard this when you grew up but it's possible that when you heard it the first time it sounded confusing and therefore whenever you hear it again you have a traumatic reaction so I'm gonna tell you that this time it's gonna be different you'll actually get it and you'll see that very interesting and this has to do with a completely different story the Gemara in tractate : page 60 B tells the following story when you read the story of creation it says that on Wednesday God created the heavenly bodies what's called swaha Mayan the planets the galaxies the Stars and of course the solar system and the lunar system the solar orbit and the lunar orbit the Sun and the moon and everything involved with the Sun in the moon this was the first Wednesday of creation the fourth day of creation the way the trader describes it is Hashem created Schnee Moraira Sangha Dolan he made the two great luminaries the Sun and the moon later the plastic alternates alters the description and says the great luminary the Sun created to illuminate the day and the small luminary the murderer caught in the moon to give us light during the night and hazael ever sensitive to nuance and their antennas always up to decipher and to detect nuance changes in the text of the half are astounded by this sudden change first they were two great luminaries Schnee Marisa Dolan and then the tidal shifted one became great and one became small and thus reish lakish tells us interacted cool in the famous tradition the tradition is that when a Shem created the Sun in the moon he created them as equals they were two great luminaries the Sun and the moon were equals twins and the moon came to the river initial oil um the moon came to Hashem and said this is unjust why EF Shailesh name Elohim she is Thomas Rebecca Sarah it's impossible to have two kings using the same crown wearing the same crown there has to be one king you can't have two kings with the same crown you can't have two people running the show you can't give them both equal power you need what a leader you need one chef to run the kitchen too many spoil the pot you need one CEO you need one director you need one commander-in-chief you need one general you need one person running that making decisions you can't have two kings having the same crown they can have different types of crowns but the same crown you can't that give the two kings it's just impossible so God tells the moon we'll see you me at the S at Smith you're right go diminish yourself put on a different crown that crown is not for you you're right become a different type of creature and hence the moon becomes the moon that we know first of all it's much smaller than the Sun even more importantly it has no light the moon is dark matter it reflects the light of the Sun but the light of the moon is not independent it's not autonomous the moon doesn't own the light it's the move it's the light that the moon reflects from the Sun which is why of course the moon waxes and the moon wanes because the moon doesn't have its own lights and therefore it depends on where its position is visa vie the Earth that visa be the Sun is how much light we get to see from the moon so what we call Rosh Chodesh the beginning of the month when the moon is invisible it's basically because the earth and the moon are in the Sun our role so to speak in the same angle the moon stands between the earth and the Sun and the half of the moon we can only see half of the moon because it's a ball so we could only see 180 degrees and the hundred and eighty degrees of the moon that is reflecting the Sun is on the other direction it's not facing the earth so therefore when we look at the moon we see nothing and then the moon starts moving away slowly slowly so we see a little sliver and then it moves further and further and further 180 degrees later now the earth is between the moon and the Sun and we have this beautiful moon on the 15th day of the month the fifteenth night of the month and then the moon starts getting closer to the Sun and it begins to wane and wane until it disappears completely so the moon came a whole new entity no light of its own reflecting only the light of the Sun and the moon turns Tosh Eman says just because I said something true therefore I have to diminish myself why me just because I pointed out the obvious 2kings can't we're the same crown that's why I am penalized so Hashem tells the moon don't worry the Jews will establish their calendar based on you their months will follow your orbit indeed those are our months the beginning of our month is when the moon begins its orbit once again it's invisible orbit once again we call it the birth of the moon Rosh Chodesh when the moon cannot be seen because it's actually in direct contact with the Sun so to speak it reflects the Sun and that have that reflects the Sun we cannot observe and that's our beginning of our month and it continues the orbit of the moon is 29 and a half days and change that's our months that's why some of our months of 29 days some of our months have 30 days because the orbit of the moon doesn't end after 29 days it doesn't end after 30 days it ends after 29 and a half days and change so that's why we have to split it up some months at 29 so we're a little behind someone's our thirty days were a little ahead and between the months we even at out two months freshman and kislev are sometimes this way sometimes this way and that's how we more or less even it out so the moon says one second but their calendar will still be following the Sun because they're still busy with the seasons which is based on the Sun so Hashem says the greatest of Jews will be called by your name when we want to describe Yaakov Aveeno the prophet Micah says me Yakko Yakko if the prophet Emily says me y'all come Yaakov kick cotton or Yaakov is small David the past success in school Dovid who are cotton David is the small one you see Yaakov David they're all defined by you they're called the cut or not in God and the moon is not appeased the moon is not satisfied and the Talmud says Hashem tries to appease the moon tries to make it feel better but to no avail and when Hashem sees that it cannot satisfy the yearning of the moon what does he say you know what he says he says her vo 'like hapara Shammi at the TSI area the gomorrah says God says I need an atonement I need to atone for what I did because I diminished the moon and that is why there is one sacrifice that was brought in the holy temple once a month and its unique it's the only sacrifice in the whole Toyota that it says that this is bringing both being brought for who freshen wash em coppice this is a sin offering a vehicle for a home for the ribbon echelon for God why why does he need on the catonian why does he need a carbon what did he do he diminished the moon a viola like a para chamois at the TSI area I need a cap Ora I need an atonement from making the moves small and that's why the two great luminaries morphed into one large one and one small one end of the story and I want to ask you today how do you make sense of the story for starters what is the definition of a mitzvah and what is the definition of an aver of a sin the most basic definition without making this complicated is a mitzvah is doing something that has Shem wants what is a sin violating our Sema's will how can hashem do a sin if the definition of his sin is he not doing what God wants hashem diminished the moon he told the moon go diminish yourself what do you mean it was a sin he needs atomic who did he sin against himself he decided to do it so he wanted to do it if he wanted to do it it's not a sit he says no I need an atonement I need to atone from what my mistake my error in my trap what makes it a mistake if you did it by definition if God did it if not a mistake is not a sin it's already a mitzvah and have a better question God instead of bringing atonements for yourself every month I have a much better idea what's the better idea imagine you hurt somebody every single month and every month you bring a new carbon isn't there a better idea what do you think is a better idea why don't you fix with it if you really think it was such a bad idea so fix it I don't understand is the moon right towards the moon wrong if the moon is right oh I'm so sorry I'm so sorry let's just go back to status quo if the moon is wrong and it should be diminished so great you don't need an atonement there is like a split here in conception when we read a story in the Gemara attracted huland like whose side is he taking whose side are we supposed to take on one hand he tells the moon to go diminish itself because it's complaining and then when the moon starts complaining about the fact that it lost so much because of its complaining he comforts the moon he says you have a good point that's why the Jewish calendar is gonna follow your orbit not the solar orbit the Western calendar the Roman calendar follows the solar orbit we don't follow the lunar orbit and this moon is still not happy and God says okay Yakov will have your name Dov it will have your name Jews will be compared to the moon they will follow the moon they will count there's months according to the moon their greatest tsadikim will be similar and compared to the moon and the moon is still not satisfied Hashem says you know what you got a point I need a sacrifice I need a carbon wash I'm Coty's and that's why every Rosh Chodesh there was a carbon brought in the base on McNish a goat and this was an atonement so to speak for whom for doing boy thou shalt oil um it's almost strange how do we even say these words an atonement for him why I diminished and every month again when onerous traders because that's the day when you most dramatically and palpably feel the void of the moon it's invisible the Sun never becomes invisible the moon becomes invisible cause doesn't have light of its own so even though it's facing us we can't see any light because it needs the moon's light so Rishikesh we can feel rich tradition is the first day of our months when you don't see the moon Rosh Hodesh we can feel the void we can feel the lamentation of the moon we can hear it and hence that's the day we brought the goat offering the Turner says and Pasha spinsters to bring a special goat offering on a Troy dodge lash for the rebind national island forgot how do we understand this now we have to remember one more exhibit exhibit number three exhibit number four here with me exhibit number one was Montana Slovenian exhibit number two was it was a leap here exhibit number three is the story of the Sun and the moon and the moon complaining and we're not sure who's right and who's wrong and finally exhibit number four is this we have a problem in Judaism the Romans didn't have it the Muslims didn't have it the West doesn't have it and the religious calendars didn't have it only the Jews have it and that is it's called a split personality in our calendar they say the definition of hutzpah is you come to a therapist because you have a split personality and you want a group discount but in in the Jewish calendar we have a split personality and I'll explain to you what I mean you see the Sun in the moon don't get along what do I mean they don't get along they follow different schedules different patterns are you married to such a person you sleep by night he sleeps by day you like to wake up early likes to wakes up late you want all the venetian blinds to be closed he wants them to be open you like the light off he wants the light on or conversely you like Mullica restaurants Flay likes lasix or conversely usually not conversely or whatever the situation is those are the small stuff and then other big stuff you both orbits everyone has an orbit but it's different orbits the Sun and the moon don't have the same orbit and they're dramatically different the orbit of the moon around the earth takes 29 and a half days whoops this way 29 and a half days done I'm back to square one I start over again The Sun Also orbits the earth or if you want to do it in the modern model the Earth orbits the Sun but that takes 365 and a half days that takes much longer yes the Sun is also much further 93 million miles away from the earth but the orbit of the Sun is 365 and a half days the orbit of the moon is 29 and a half days that's a very different orbits to put it in simple words in quote the heaven Ezra the moon has no years and the Sun has no months get it the moon has no years the moon has only months the Sun has no months to Sun has only years the Roman calendar the American calendar today the Western calendar is based on the Sun we have years 365 days makes up a year February 1 to February 1 is going to be approximately 365 days count it because that's when the solar orbit ends and a new orbit begins so why do we have months in the English calendar January February March April these are artificial months you take 365 days you split it up into 12 units and you give people months simply for convenience now take the Muslim calendar the Muslim calendar doesn't follow the Sun it follows the moon and the moon only has months the moon has no years and therefore why do they have years how do they have years they take the months they multiply them twelve times and they create an artificial lunar year which is of course not 365 days it's 354 days if you take a lunar month and you multiply 12 times you end up with 354 days which means that the lunar year ends 11 days before the solar year which is why if your birthday is unported and put them happens to be February 15th why the next year is poor 'i'm not february 15th you know what it's gonna be it's gonna be 11 days earlier why why can't I always have my Purim February 15th ah if it's a leap year I'm not talking about a leap year now the answer is because to get from poor him to poor him how many days are you counting 354 days but they gets from February 15th to February 15 how many days 365 days so that's why the next year your birthday is gonna be February 4th you got it you just learnt now why you could never figure out when your birthday is you see that bar here's our problem the Muslims don't care we have a problem I'll tell you our problem in other words I'll put it if you want if you want to do this experiment if you have a good nice sunny porch make us and it's it's a it's a nice morning Rosh Hodesh Thomas and you make and the Sun is casting its light on a particular point in the porch or on the wall and you make a scratch and the next year it strike there's Thomas you will not see the light there you know why because you're gonna have to wait another 11 days the Sun is not back yet just because it's the same date in the Jewish calendar has nothing to do with the Sun you still gotta wait 11 days the moon already finished its year the Sun is still busy because the moon doesn't have a year the Muslims don't care about this we do when is Ramadan anybody here does Ramadan you fast for 30 days Ramadan you do Ramadan ok I wish I would what should I tell you there was once a woman who came out of her castle and Beverly Hills in Beverly Hills and she seized his fellow homeless fella goes over thisis ma'am ma'am ma'am I haven't eaten in three days and three days haven't eaten she looks at him she says I envy your willpower it's what it calls being out for lunch you're in your own world okay threat which will soon see how it connects here knots time a joke Ramadan is sometimes in the winter and sometimes in this summer and sometimes in the autumn and sometimes in the spring it's never the same season of the year why because they just deal with the moon that's what they deal with we have a problem the terrorist says that pacer has to be in spring spring summer autumn winter are based on the solar orbit they're based on the relationship between the light of the Sun and planet Earth if our months are following the moon our pace sucks is never going to be in the same time one year it's going to be in the spring but the next year what's gonna happen pace is going to be 11 days earlier that I don't care about but the next year it's gonna be 22 days earlier and the next is gonna be 33 days earlier and a few years later it's gonna be six months earlier and pay stuff is gonna be in the cold of winter and that can't be so every three years we add four weeks we add 30 days each year the moon falls behind 11 days two years it falls behind 22 days three years it falls behind 33 days I put in an extra month into our calendar and I give time for the moon to catch up and hence my pacer is going to be delayed by a month and I do this continuously once it but it's never still completely even you know why because I put in an extra month now the moon is three days ahead 33 right what happens I put an extra cuz it's 11 one year 22 and then 33 so if I wait for 3 years the moon is still 3 days behind if I put in after two years the moon is now ahead once in 19 years they straighten out and that's why in once in 19 years your English birthday and your jewish birthday will be on the same day thank you okay so don't sue me if it's after steer yeah don't sue me thank you you teach this you think about these things okay you think about these things fine so now we understand why we have to have leap years we need to have our moon catch up to our Sun and yet we will not simply make our calendar simpler follow the Sun follow the moon no you got the father both of them and once this fight happened between the Sun and the moon there's always a struggle because there are different orbits the explanation in all of this is as follows the Sun and the moon represent two different dynamics in life and now we have to be introduced spiritual thinking spiritual thinking is not like physical thinking physical thinking is either-or spiritual thinking is never about either/or it's two dimensions of the same reality so when we speak about the moon here what we're being introduced here is two a very subtle distinction and I want to explain to you what I mean the posix says God made two great luminaries then it says he made a big one and he made a small so the Gemara explains initially they were great later the moon complains Hashem said becomes small it becomes small it continues to complain it remains small but Hashem feels bad and he feels that he needs atonement for this so we're trying to figure out who was right if the moon was right let God correct it if the moon is wrong a sham doesn't need an atonement so we have to appreciate here that there is a subtle message that is being conveyed and the subtle message of course is that the moon and the Sun are very different from each other of course they're different the Sun is the Sun and the moon is the moon that was brilliant the Sun is the Sun and the moon is the moon so true right but how do we understand these differences so let's see what does let's talk about it in our personal lives will be easier to understand and reflect it back to the cosmic entities called the the Sun in the moon the Sun is that hot ball always filled with warmth passion radiance and heat and a radiance that it not only possesses it in itself but it's dazzling radiance it projects and it projects throughout all hours of the day we're enjoying it at this very moment as the Rays of the Sun even in the rainy weather make their way into our tent and illuminate our mornings especially before Thomas Edison gave us the light bulb it was the Sun that cast its light on the planet exclusively and it's still the Sun that gives us day in kalam they once had a debate what is more important the son of the moon and after seven days of debates they concluded that the moon was far more important and they said because the Sun shines during daytime who needs it but it's the moon it's the moon that shines during the night and therefore we owe special appreciation to the moon the Sun is so good that we don't even appreciate it we take the Sun for granted and you know how often we make a bracha for the Sun once in 28 years we make a break over the Sun for the moon there's a brush every month for the Sun once in 28 years now why once in 28 years is not for now because you're really gonna get a headache the previous headache won't even come close to the future headache of the ones in 28 years but there's a reason why it's once in 28 years as do with the equinoxes etcetera but we take the Sun for granted but what does the Sun represents oh the Sun represents a certain wholesomeness and this is wholesome the Sun is perfect the Sun is the perfect bull that orbits around our planet or our planet orbits around it and therefore every 24-hour period wherever you are in the world you get your daytime whether it's 12 hours of day or 14 hours of day or 10 hours of day but you get your daytime that depends of course a spring or or or them or summer or winter the length of the day and the night but we get our hours and during those hours we have our night we are alight and we have our warmth of course you can't compare summer to winter and this year you don't even know when summer and winter is we thought it was summer then it's winter back to summer back to winter we'll see what happens so the Sun really represents the predictable wholesome pattern of life what about the moon the moon represents the struggle of the Moon which literally waxes and wanes and then suddenly disappears completely so the moon goes through stages there's moments that the moon reflects the light of the Sun beautifully there's moments that the moon reaches a point where you look at the moon and you're like wow what wholesomeness what perfection and you almost want to invest in that stock and you do only to see that a few days later it's like whoops sorry I'm in the abyss and then for two days the moon disappears completely it just doesn't show up doesn't doesn't return calls doesn't return texts doesn't respond to emails you don't see it you think it died and then out of the blue suddenly value of re the moon emerges rebirth but even when the moon is shining it's not its own light it's reflecting somebody else's light the moon never reaches a point where it feels I own my light it doesn't it always needs the Sun for light the Sun creates its own source of Lights the moon doesn't create its own source of it reflects somebody else's source and therefore sometimes it reflects it more reflected lesson sometimes it reflects it nada nothing so now I ask you what are you are you a son or are you a moon we even have a word in English for certain types of people we call them lunatics the word it's not a joke by the way you could check it up where do you think the word lunatic comes from Luna lunar it's the moon not the Sun why the Sun represents stability persistence consistency the Sun doesn't get into moods this song doesn't get into depression this song doesn't have swings the song isn't over one extreme to another extreme this song doesn't look at you and say what's your name I never met you before the Sun doesn't disappear the Sun is reliable consistent every day the moon is consistently inconsistent the only thing we know about the moon is that we don't know what to expect the gomorrha says Shemesh yogami voyage says embarking after until in 104 the Sun knows its pathways asked the Gemara only the Sun rises yeah you're rare hello Adam avoid the moon does not know its pathways actually even astronomically the orbit of the moon is far more complicated and complex when I say consistently inconsistent that wasn't just a cliche it is consistently inconsistent where the Sun is uniquely consistent its orbit or the way we experience its orbit is extremely consistent and thus you have very different types of personalities very different types of creatures in fact it becomes very exciting when you have a son who's married to a moon or a moon was married to a son that usually works together when you have a son married to a moon I think it's a moon married to a Sun but not always because the moon sometimes can disappear from a relationship which is when it becomes very painful because the challenge is not so much that you're a moon the challenge is that you don't acknowledge that you're a moon and when you don't acknowledge that you're a moon and you don't take responsibility for being a moon or evolve or you and then when you start blaming the Sun when you start blaming the Sun now you enter into an impossible relationship the Sun is a Sun and the moon is a moon the Sun can be blamed for the moon just like the moon can't be blamed from the Sun it's very different orbits very different cycles so you know you all know you're some of you know you have the husband who texts you I'm leaving the office in three minutes and you know that in two-and-a-half minutes he already left the office in fact you could almost adjust your watch to his motions and then you have the husband who says I'm leaving in three minutes and what he means is in approximately three hours I will start thinking about the concept of leaving the office so yes he's not lying in three minutes the process is going to begin there will be meditation about leaving there will be thoughts about ending the night it will be thoughts about coming up it may take seven eight hours but that's just a process different people some people the flight to seven o'clock p.m. the suitcase is packed two days earlier some people even do practice packing do you know such people I know such people a week before the trip they do practice packing to make sure everything fits and if not they have time to order a suitcase they have time to go to therapy they have time to reevaluate their packing techniques they have time to reevaluate the types of clothes they're going to need at the vacation because every meal is a different outfit it's our enough to explain to you the complexities of packing that's a cool craft and then there's those of us who were still packing in the car on the way to the airport you come running out with the shirts with the hangars by hot flash left Smith Singh and you're busy zippering breaking zippers opening zippers and you're trying to find a box in the airports you ask the person working that can have a box lo we don't give boxes supposed to have boxes a month ago you're supposed to get boxes different people they're always on the runway they run under today they don't let you go on the runway in the olden days they're still out of breath they're always see people running to the gate out of breath and then there's people already sitting on the chair over there for four and a half hours they're sitting they went to sleep there last night I'll have Suffolk a lot suffer there's gonna be traffic in the morning they went to sleep last night they're very interesting people interesting people look who would you like to be who would you like to be which one okay but neither right so it's eat it's very easy for the Sun to cut over the moon and it's easy for the moon to cut off the Sun it's easy for the song to look at the moon and say you're a lunatic pun intended go to your lunar family don't come into my life and it's easy for the moon to look at the Sun and say you're boring your lifeless you're too consistent for me you're rigid there's no art by you there's no creativity no drama no romance no spunk no spontaneity come on chill out relax get depressed a little bit but if you don't know how to get depressed how you gonna know how to dance how you gonna feel the experience of rebirth how you're too consistent I mean you're reliable but who wants reliable people you want living people I mean Mark Twain said before he dies he wants to move to Manchester because it's trendy the transition from there to death won't be noticeable now I have nothing against Manchester I love Manchester very much I visit Manchester often but when I came the first time to Manchester one of the rappers in Manchester this was his welcome to me I said really and you live here he says that's exactly I wanted to tell you where I live so I'm not saying this about Manchester I know nothing about Manchester some people say these things about certain parts of Muncie - but the point is it really depends on the individual some people have a philosophy that it's easier to make believe you died already that way you just get rid of a lot of issues enough to think you're not have to be tough to live you don't have to feel and some people have another philosophy so you have your very two different personalities you're not supposed to work together really it's easy for them not to work together which is why most calendars don't match them together doesn't make sense you don't put a Sun and a moon together they will drive each other mad one will become a lunatic and the other one will probably burn them up or just retreat into its own orbit literally yes and you see it him it takes 29 days and it takes 365 days it's very different experiences in Judaism however we synchronize the two in fact we can't have our calendar if we don't continuously work on synchronizing the two but it doesn't come easy our calendar is always reinventing itself continuously to make the adjustments there's never a situation where we could just fix it and it works it doesn't work you always have to reinvent it and reinvent it again and again and yet again every two three years manipulating dealing adding subtracting in order to make the two orbits synchronize synchronize them hot sync them as we say why is it so important it's critically important because life is not the Sun or the moon life is about a journey that includes the orbit of the Sun and the orbit of the moon in fact the lunar personality must be a to find within him or herself the stability of the solar system and the solar personality must be able to find within himself or herself the chaotic creativity ups and downs and fluctuations of the lunar system each one has its tremendous virtues and its vices the great tragedy is when you can't acknowledge the vise in the orbit that you're dealing with or the virtue and the other orbits because then you completely cut yourself off from healing from expanding your horizons but here is where the moon starts crying and the moon says it's not fair it's not fair the moon who is the one who feels needy let's take this one it's not just about consistency or lack of consistency it's two types of personalities there is that person who just has that self-confidence you just have it and then there is the moon who always there's a need is a void is a yearning I need somebody I need you I need a reflect light I need to attach myself to the Sun to give light basically the moon is always feeling that it has a void it never reaches a state of perfection it never says I got it at best that can say it got me but never I got it the moon is never in a position where you could just sit down relax and say I have it all the moon always knows as desire says lay slow me garma clue she has nothing of her own nothing of her own when she looks in the mirror you know what she sees dark grey matter that's what she sees and she knows even on the fifteenth night when all of the Earth comes out and says wow what a beautiful moon she knows that in two or three days it's all gone and in a few more days there's nothing present anymore nothing conspicuous what does this do to identity it creates a question and identity it creates the void that creates the yearning I'm always seeking I always have to grow I could never take existence for granted if I take existence for granted I'm left with nothing if I decide one day I have my own light all I'll discover is darkness I'm always looking where the Sun is what do we say in this mass vein a new me erase remember aloof anomaly shirokiya motion a new arena carmine gallo since they say no to become a karakia they may know me here ice Cash America rare if our eyes would be as luminescent as the Sun another moon why both one second the entire light of the moon is from the Sun they need new me eros shemish our eyes would be as bright as luminescent as the Sun and as the moon what is the meaning of this both are said but there's a contradiction near the moon doesn't have its own oil but allow a messiah mana if you tell you know they say that there was a teacher in a yeshiva and he said once if I had Rothschilds money I would be richer then was job why because I wouldn't quit my teaching job I wouldn't quit my teaching job you understand I grew up in the Crown Heights section of Brooklyn like in every good Jewish community you have a lot of snorers you know what a schnorrer is yeah somebody who got a PhD in fundraising from Harvard University so there was one fellow I know him he's already on the oil MMS I guess mocking he he would come every day uh somebody who collects somebody once asked him what would you do if you won the lottery what would you do you know what his answer was he says I would put a guard at every door of shul so that no other beggar should be allowed in besides me that's what I would do or a famous fundraiser said if you can speak to the mayor and get an important what are you gonna ask him for and he said I'm gonna ask him to put elevators in all the buildings I don't have to climb up the steps to go fundraising people come from there perceptions of life and even when they think about royalty and aristocracy and broadness it's always based on the narrow perception of poverty do we do this to ourselves psychologically and emotionally and spiritually vein a new me here a skirmish mystery area why both if you already have the light of the Sun trust me you have the light of the moon the light of the moon is only a glimmer it's a fraction of the reflection of the light of the Sun why do you say both so we have two completely different experiences in life the moments that I feel I have and the moments that I feel I don't have now now which is big and which is small which is big and which is small what's considered your a great moment and what's considered your small moments depends depends from God's perspective or from our perspective from our famous percé pecked --iv Schnee my iris had been deulim they're both great there's no difference between the Sun and the moon each one is as great as it needs to be in order to fulfill its mission and its journey in the world yes the Sun has its journey and the moon has its journey but that doesn't make the Sun any greater than the moon it makes the Sun different than the moon sometimes you're great by being great but sometimes you're much greater by being small sometimes you're great by feeling I have it but sometimes you're much greater by feeling the yearning the frustration it creates the catalyst for growth sometimes you're much greater I'm much greater when I have the anxiety when I have the frustration that I need to rediscover my life I need to reinvent myself I need to open myself up to new Arai they say why did the Chinese survive for five thousand years because you know mandarine anybody you know mandarine oh so okay you'll correct me if I'm wrong but I was in China and they taught me that the same character you know how the Chinese read words the same character they used for the word crisis they used for the word opportunity same character but in Russian karyesh in Hebrew it's much better what's the word in Hebrew for a breakdown matter even modern Hebrew what's the word for a breakdown Marsh bear what does much bear mean in lausanne Kadesh a birthing stool a birthing stool break down birthing stool that's how Jew survived five thousand years they understood every much there is really a birthing stool if he must bear is an opportunity for rebirth this is the moon the moon has AM Island the Sun never has a volume that the Sun has never reborn the Sun never died in order to be reborn to be reborn you have to die so I asked you is this death death your life depends from whose perspective from my perspective it's horrible it's horrible it's a crisis it's a breakdown I don't know if I'm coming I don't know if I'm going you decide Ascar one day I didn't know what it means to be a father I didn't know what it means to be a husband I didn't know what it means to be a human being I didn't know what it means to be a Jew you think it's easy to discover that and of course naturally we love blaming the Sun when we discover that it's not me not me you we love doing that the moon never does that the moon says I am going to take my crisis and I'm going to create from interest-rate ish I'm going to create for it a new holiday and you know whose holidays were straightish because the whole by it that says that result says the ballot anna says the whole biological makeup of feminine energy reflects this process so sometimes when we feel so down empty you feel the Boyd from our Sam's perspective naima Irish huh Godoy live how do you know what's great and what's more how do you know what's great what's more we live in a world where we love polarities we love saying he's normal he's miss sugar he's great as tight miss sugar she I can get along with thee don't even begin this is a song this is a moon this is lunar and this is normal this is a good boy this is a bad boy this is a great girl this love we love such a world stable clear-cut really how do you know how do you know what's great how do you know people's journeys how do you know what their soul is made up of how do you know what they go through internally how do you know where they have to reach how do you know you know what's great and what small stigmas always come from beep ignorance and from a lack of appreciation of a larger picture take children and a family we love looking dis job a success this child of failure really what success what's failure exactly we spoke you member Yaakov and a sub in the womb one is gravitating towards the base mattress one is gravitated towards of a desire it's hook should have looked at a serve and said mr. failure Yaakov mr. success but you took had a different perception because the failure of a sub was not that he gravitated to have a disorder the failure of a sub was that he thought he was a failure for gravitating to avoid Ozora did you hear what I just said women his failure was not that he gravitated toward my desire that was his journey that was his divine journey his failure was that he thought he was a failure for the fact that he couldn't be like Yaakov he couldn't I don't know what's great and I don't know what's more what looks to me as great can be small what looks to me as small could be much greater than I'll ever imagined my moments of voids my moments of my downer is what are they called Downers do I know that they are not as great as my uppers maybe those are most important moments in my life at the moments that I'm reborn the moments that I can discover the moments that I've become vulnerable the moments that I actually dis decompose and disintegrate and my ego goes out into the dustbin and I can reinvent myself from a place of truth and wholesomeness that's not great there was a Jew who came to the Baal Shem Tov and he tells the Baal Shem Tov I want to see a Leo on avi I want to see prophet Elijah Muhammad says you really don't need it for your life he says please please I'll do anything and after begging the Baal Shem Tov says I'll tell you a system of avoider a system of spiritual work that you have to follow for 10 years if you follow it for 10 years you'll reach where you want to reach and for 10 years imagine this is not only a matter of diet for 10 years not for like two and a half days or two and a half hours today a dark 2 and 1/2 hours you lose 40 pounds and then you start eating again imagine a diet for 10 years what about a spiritual diet for 10 years but he does it he follows the path that the baal shem tov formulated for him and after 10 years he did not see leo or love him and he comes running back to march of them and he says i feel like such a loser 10 years of the heart but we are fed 10 years i worked and worked i toiled with sweat and blood and i accomplished nothing i achieved nothing but something says why do you say you achieved nothing you became a humble human being that's not an achievement yes you learned that you worked for 10 years and you didn't see Leo on avi you became a humble human being he became a mensch there's somebody to talk to about speaking to Allah whoa and delusionary a dreamer who thinks he's a saint he's gonna wake up in the morning and see Leo and over yeah you worked for 10 years you realized you're you men you got rid of your spiritual masks that you're wearing a whole day and a whole night I'm speaking to a real person he's not a saint he's not dancing and thinking he's an angel and at any moment this water is gonna pour on his head and somebody's scream from heaven cadre Scottish cottage and he'll fly away and tell his wife you see I always told you I'm holy you could look at him they say in Hebrew big of re9 you know what I mean let that bet Etobicoke vine I mean how do you say that in English I tie that's not an achievement that you became human you're real you're authentic you roar your beer that sometimes the greatest accomplishment is somebody to talk to Marsh um to have said don't say you didn't achieve anything you didn't say Eliana maybe you saw something even greater you found your own self your own humaneness sometimes that's greater it's not about if I could see Leo one of you not it's about me fulfilling the purpose of my existence me being loyal to the journey of my soul me casting my light onto the world I can't cast your light onto the world you can't cast my light onto the world I can cast my light on the contrary by you casting your like you help me project my light onto the world and onto myself but you get a looong RM different soldier that's always spoke about told us with the act of an ace if you remember at length but this was the same concept so from our shams perspective they're both great they're both equally great not that they're equal but they're both great they're both good day live what's the definition of a girdle we love that word what's the definition of a goggle what makes somebody a goggle that you have a better IQ than me what makes you a girdle that you're more antisocial than me that you're a bookworm and I'm not a bookworm does it make sense that a child who has a lower IQ and happens to be very socially active he could never be a goggle because he can't concentrate so much the thumb regatta was a goggle is somebody who lives the life that God wants him or her to live you can't be a greater goggle than that in fact if you start emulating somebody else you become a cotton was once by the Seder of the term ascetic they were doing yachts you know what yeah cuts is that's a moment that a lot of room Jews get social anxiety existential anxiety because you have to break the matzo and one has to be bigger than the other do you know about that crisis at Jewish tables you never sought you're sleeping already okay I understand it's been a long era of Facebook you should come to hotel so I'm just talking I'm just joke I'm just joking stay on the best say there is at home but you take your thoughts you take your cuts you remember you break the matzo yeah and one has to be bigger than the other and for many people this is a crisis it's an existential crisis I know people who a mama SH have anxiety that and how long to eat the cause is between those two oh my god I know a guy who had a stopwatch set up is a there's some paces because if I feel especially had a heart attack on the spot okay whatever I'm not now getting into all of this I'm not getting that we have to heal we have to heal we have to heal from anxiety we have to be able to celebrate things but so this yeah cuts is like a very big thing and the next year somebody is opening up a company where they're gonna have mock so that comes with a little line so that you don't have to work hard I'm breaking it in the right spots okay copyright my idea so please give me a commission so now so this guy does yeah cuts and he's measuring which is bigger which is smaller but I'm athletic says these words are godless Madhavi messed in his can God Aleutians Ogando which you have to measure is not a goggle if you have to start measuring and comparing he's not a goggle goggle means great I don't know God says what's god--all what's cotton you say the Sun is great than the moon is small from my perspective the Sun has what it has only because I gave it to it I gave it to the Sun and the moon doesn't have what it's had what it has because that's what I want the moon achieves its spiritual perfection through imperfection and the Moose on achieves its spiritual perfection through its perfection so who says imperfection is not perfect who decided that that's a very narrow perspective imperfection is another form of perfection imperfection is another form of greatness smallness is another form of greatness as sometimes it has a greatness all its own because it's their perfection that creates the deepest awareness the deepest growth the deepest creativity the deepest rebirth there was a Jew passed away recently rebellious eraklyon some people call him Leonard and he once said when I was young I worship perfection now I'm older I search for things that have cracks because it's the cracks that allow the light to come in you see things that are perfect they're not cracked but no light comes up it is what it is it's self-contained it may be the source of light but it can't allow the light to come in how can you give the sunlight the lost sons I got all the light in the world the moon is cracked look at the moon you'll see that it's cracked it doesn't even know what it looks like depends on the day come back in an hour I'll take my coffee I'll feel better that's what the moon says come back tomorrow night I'll be in a better mood tonight I'm a sliver to mine I'll be come back in a few days we'll talk I can't go out tonight I need two weeks the Sun never has a problem the Sun burns you up when you get close and the moon says why don't they have any friends they may know me a race car same as Messiah Raya there's the light of the Sun and there's the light of the moon and each one has a different iron and we all know that there's something special about moon lights even though you could be a technical scientist and say please there's nothing special about it to reflect of the Sun but somehow greater poetry has been written when you're sitting by a bonfire and looking at moonlight then when you take off your glasses and stare at the song there's a certain poetry to it there's a music to it there's a resonance to it yes we could say it's our imagination and I'm sure part of it is but this is the energy of the array of so from our Sam's perspective they're both great equally but here's the catch can the moon ever experience God's perspective if the moon would experience itself from hashim's perspective then what would be it would never be a moon it would be a Sun if when I'm feeling a void all I would feel is that this is another form of perfection would I be able to feel a void I would never feel a void if when I'm experiencing my own downfall my own breakdown my own challenge all I can feel is this is really the voice of perfection in me I would never be able to experience what I'm experiencing and therefore by definition it wouldn't be perfection anymore what makes imperfection perfection is that it's imperfect but if I would feel that imperfection is perfect it wouldn't be imperfect anymore and then it wouldn't be perfect it would actually become perfect it would become imperfect cuz it would feel that it's perfect you're with me you're not with me you're too perfect to me you want perfect sentences but these sentences are not perfect I'll say it again if imperfection would be able to feel how perfect it is while it's imperfect would it be able to experience imperfection and therefore grow from it you would feel on top of the world the whole growth of the moon is that it disappears if this integrates at wanes loses itself and in the lost it gets reborn think about it emotionally if in those moments you're going through a difficult difficult period if you would be able to see it from a higher perspective and just see that it's really the beginning of of tremendous clarity then it wouldn't be the beginning of tremendous clarity because you would become pompous in that moment for the seed to morph into a tree what happens to it you take the seed of an apple tree you planted in the earth for it to develop and grow into a splendid beautiful tall delicious apple tree what has to happen to the seed it decomposes it experiences decadence and rotting when the seed rats it looks at itself in the mirror and what does it tell its therapist I'm nothing I used to be a beautiful seed on the windowsill everyone looked at me and they said he's so cute and now I'm rotting up and I garnished and that is what allows the seeds not to be a seed but to become a giant tree that moment that allows it's the moment of frustration it's the moment of loss it's the moment of decomposition but the moon could never know this because if the moon would experience it it wouldn't be able to be a moon it would be another Sun for the moon to be able to experience being a moon that has to go through its own dance and it's dance is a dance that has tears and laughter it has lost and it has birth it waxes it wanes and it waxes again it becomes wholesome but it disappears so the moon starts complaining to Hashem who does not fear I want to be the Sun so what is I should I'm gonna say sorry M says the Jewish calendar is based on you we'll never ignore you you are part of our process the moon service the Sun OSA has its place so he says yeah clave is a moon dove it is a moon all great giants had to go through the process of being moon there's nobody in the world who achieves real greatness if they have not had deep moments of personal crisis you will not find that in the world why because people who never fail ultimately never really grow they only attempt to do things that they know they'll be successful and whenever you don't fail it means you only try to do things that you're good at and if you only try to do things you're good at and that's why you don't fail you will always end up doing things that are limited to what your capability is today you will never flex your muscles and figure out who you really are to figure out who I really are I have to take risks sometimes have to feel that I'm walking on a tightrope whether they're math let's say what are they sinkhole oh um cool or gadgets are me oh that's a narrow bridge the euro Xiaomi says on one side is fire on one side as ice you go to the right you get burnt you go to the left you freeze - sorry it's a very narrow bridge the path to greatness goes through tremendous crisis you have to reinvent yourself again and again and again and again yokka we've covered both of them mm Ella mm Elif was seen as an illegitimate child Keogh VV me as a phoney was thrown away by his father he was seen as a mom's his brothers wanted to kill him and then he suddenly becomes a king every masseur buying him high salary Tina the stone that the builders detested became the rosh pina became the cornerstone LaRoche pina but they had to be Evan Moss so our boy in him that was said about mm Allah and the moon says God I don't know what you're talking about it's all nice it's nice physic you live my life and stop giving me a physic and at the end you know what a sham Suns who is the one who ultimately created this whole drama who is the one who created the dance who is the one who created the story of life that we call life it's me I am the one ultimately who created this because really God is perfect but the story of life is the story of life is open your hearts that perfection created imperfection to reveal the perfection in the imperfection the unity created fragmentation to be able to reveal the oneness in the fragmentation to be able to reveal the harmony in the compartmentalization so I am the one who ultimately allowed for this dynamic for these two perspectives a vu alike apparition me at the TSI area every month bring an atonement for me for diminishing the moon the moon is the moon the moon is as perfect as the Sun but the moon doesn't experience itself that way the moon experiences pain the moon experiences agony the moon experiences loss the moon experiences confusion uncertainty the moon feels every month again and again that it's derailed bring an atonement from me because I am ultimately the one responsible the buck stops here but the Jewish calendar will never be about the Sun or the moon it will be about the appreciation of the journey of the Sun and the appreciation of the journey of the moon and with our leap years the moon will sometimes get ahead of the Sun and sometimes the Sun will naturally get ahead of the moon and it takes 19 years to synchronize them so now you understand my honest love Union you thought I forgot about it yeah you thought I thought your mom's thought I forgot about it I know moons forget I know that but sometimes I try to be like a son oh so so not am I not always the moon sometimes I'm the moon but not always can I tell you a story it's one of the most amazing stories you'll ever hear in your life I know the hour is late but I can't when I talk about this I can't not tell the story I heard it from the person that happened with you know there are stories and our stories are stories that are beautiful stories and our stories that are game-changers they challenge paradigms that are very deep I have an older brother his name is Simon I have an older brother 16 years older whose name is Simon rabbi Simon Jacobson and he gives a weekly class in Manhattan for many many years and he shared this with me some time ago a few years ago it's a class for mostly secular Jews that he's been doing I don't know since there is probably almost I don't know 30 almost 40 years probably every week Wednesday night he told me one night the class he starts giving the class and a person shows up at the class a young man he saw immediately that the person has physical disabilities it was hard for him to walk it's hard for him to carry himself his motor skills were compromised the man sat down listened continued to come from months without saying a word after a few months he felt comfortable enough he came to speak to my brother and he shared with him his story when he was born around three decades earlier the doctors immediately observed a very serious neurological defect they told his parents about it and explained that there would be no hope for full recovery he would have to to meet constant constant care and help for verbal skills motor skills communication skills add some other quite a few other skills to be able to function well his parents Jews living in Manhattan very wealthy and high-profile people felt that this would seriously impede their lifestyle you know they were partygoers they would dinner go Manhattan it's a whole different style there and this would be a whole different life sentence that they didn't expect and they did not take him home from the hospital they put him up in an institution that would care for him and he tells my brother that he never met his father he never met his mother was 30 years old where do they live my brother said he says they live him Manhattan did I have the same last name their high profile me people know them he says you never wanted to meet them he says it looks like they don't want to they never came to visit but every week they send them every month they send a big check so he says I have what I need and I can get jobs according to my capacity my brother was naturally very moved by the story and he told me that this young man was extremely intelligent and very very sensitive and he had a spiritual depth that was incredible he really met he told me really met a person with such depth like a depth of understanding I mean after what he's been through so he decided to do what a good Jew does mix into other people's business he searches for the telephone number of the Father he calls up the father he calls up the father you know it's not an easy telephone call to make he wanted to hang up a hundred times before the father picked up the phone but he mustered the courage and he tells the father my name is so-and-so there's somebody who's been coming to my class for a long time now and he's an incredible person he happens to be your son I think you would enjoy meeting him boom the phone hung up on him he thought it was a mistake you know he calls back again well he wanted to think it was a mistake and the man as he said didn't I make it clear to you I don't want to talk to you don't mix into my life he waited some time he phoned again the man said I do not want to talk to you about this this is really none of your business I myself or my brother calls him don't you feel it's right for him to be able to meet his parents and for you to meet your son stop mixing into our lives tada wasn't a comfortable response he waited some time then he called the mother he thought a father as a father a mother a mother what do we call it ie the Shema you know the heart of a mother will melt he calls the mother and the mother immediately starts crying and she says listen we made a decision 30 years ago we're not about to rethink that decision sorry boom she was nicer but he didn't get anywhere he called her back and he said listen I want to I want you to think about something there are kids who are orphans they don't have mothers they don't have fathers some don't have one parent some don't have both their parents died wherever you meet them in the world you'll see if somebody tells them something about their parents their face comes to life they're always looking for information tell me about my mother tell me about my father they see a new picture they're like wow this is what my mother looked like this one my father looked like because all their life they feel that there's something missing there they don't know where they come from children who are adopted often they want to know we're we we who is my real father was my real mother now here yes am i Renu you have a child who's alive his father and mother live a few blocks away they're both alive he's 30 years old don't you owe them the right show him who his mother and father are now what is he asking for he's not asking to move into your apartment cost for someone he's not asking for you to take care of him he's not asking for you to change your schedule why can't you just meet she says you have to bring this up with my husband he's dead a year later my brother is working on the husband and explaining all of this to him and I picked up the phone and finally at last he agreed to meet his son with one condition that my brother is going to be there I guess he wanted what we would call a buffer zone they meet Sunday afternoon in an apartment and a suite and a building looking over Central Park which is where these people live well they said they went up in the elevator he came with his boy they went up there was the top floor it's a beautiful suite huge he said the view was literally breathtaking it's hard even to imagine that a Manhattan is such a comfortable home with so much space it was breathtaking it was something magnificent obviously he understood they were quite affluent they walk into their house they sit down by the table there's of course peanuts cashews almonds odds chocolate you know Sunday afternoon little snack on the table water juice what are they talking about Sunday football this the weather talking about everything besides anything after 10 minutes it wasn't going anyway nobody was even looking at each other nobody gave anybody a look at the ice so my brother told me says I realized that I have to really take initiative here so I looked at the father I looked at the mother I looked at the boys sitting near me and I said ok I know it's nice to talk about Sunday football and it's very important but let's get to the chase we're here for a reason and he said the story he said this young man he started to come to my classes I got to know him I was incredibly moved by his intelligence his depth the spirituality his kindness is sensitivity his sense of refinement and I felt that you would be fortunate to see what type of soul your son is and to see how your son grew up what a mint she grew to be despite all of his limitations and disabilities what a beautiful human being he is that's why I'm here I wanted you should get to meet each other there was tension in the room as you can appreciate my brother tells me he says these words he says the boy opens his mouth and speaks first he looks at his mother and he looks at his father he can say the words mommy or Totti because he can't pronounce those vowels so he says instead he says mama Papa couldn't say pop or mom he said mama Papa looking at both of them he says you know I was born imperfect I'm not perfect but so are you you're all so imperfect Mama and Papa I have forgiven you for being imperfect I hope one day you'll be able to forgive me for being imperfect and he was silent my brother said his mother burst out in tears she stood up he stood up and they hugged each other for a very long time the first hug that he received from his mother and that she gave to her son the father was pensive and quiet beau and his wife finished he went up and hugged his son for a long time my brother told me at that moment I felt like a shotgun after the Hopa a matchmaker after the wedding ceremony I looked at them he said and I said I think I'll excuse myself now thank you very much and he slipped out of the apartment silently and the family was reunited those words of that boy is really what the Gemara is saying in the story I have forgiven you for being imperfect one day maybe you'll be able to forgive me for being imperfect what is imperfection if not another form of divine perfection that we may not be comfortable with but that's not what makes it imperfect and I have to ask myself this question every day I think we all have to ask ourselves this question have you forgiven your children for being imperfect really have you forgiven your parents for being imperfect and maybe the hardest have you forgiven yourself for being imperfect can you really forgive yourself can you forgive your child for being imperfect can I or I can't I need you to be that perfect person that is the one I will accept anything else I will not accept and I'm not talking here externally I'm talking internally emotionally I'm not stalling I'm not talking about what you say to people I'm telling you what you say to yourself unconsciously do you really accept each one of your children do we really accept each one of our children or deep deep down we know some of them are the great ones and some of them will tolerate we're not gonna put a bullet to their head we are mothers not fathers we'll make them cookies but unconsciously I can't make peace with you I will never make peace with you and trust me your child knows everything you're feeling unconsciously I may not know what I'm feeling unconsciously my child always knows what I'm feeling unconsciously in fact listen to your children's words and you will hear what you're feeling unconsciously if you want a mirror to your unconscious listen to your children's descriptions about who you are and who your spouse is in fact often unconscious feelings of mommy towards Tati will be spoken consciously by the children who will speak about their Tati reflecting what Mommy feels about Kathy unconsciously or the other way around now this is humbling I have to say this is very humbling because otherwise intelligent parents good parents sophisticated parents airlifter parents parents who sacrifice the life for children I don't have to tell everybody sitting here about what mothers and fathers do for children it's very humbling to be able to say but I have not forgiven you I have not accepted you I have accepted a song not the mood I can't make peace with the moon the moon is too - the moon is too - erratic - imperfect - troublesome or even was like how did I end up with the moon I'm such a Sun I'm such a how did I end up possible Catan and by the way when you start thinking it's a punishment for your sins it sounds religious but it's the worst because that means you're equating your child with sin with punishment your child is God's wrath you think you could forgive such a child never that's why sometimes in the name of holiness we blame everything on our sins it sounds religious it sounds godly it's one of the most ungodly things you could say to yourself or to anybody else because your child now becomes the devil and I hate to say there's another religion who believes that people are devil incarnate all the original sin and we often employ that with our own kids you look at your kidneys they are original sin my original sin that's the greatest one of the greatest spiritual tragedies when we attributed to sin I don't know people's journeys we never know journeys all year we live in a world of polarities we live in the world of the Sun and the moon and the moon is not the Sun the Sun is not the moon that's where we have this class there is the wealthy and there is the poor there's the person who has and the person who has not there's the person who gives and there's the person who takes it's financially the same it's true financially it's true spiritually it's true socially it's true morally it's true educationally there's the teacher and there's the student there's the father and there's the child there's the mother and there's the daughter there's the grandparent and to the grandchild this is the Austrian is the on it is the wealthy person is a poor person and the Torah says that the wealthy person like secretss yoga don't close your hands pessoa if there's open your hands and give that's the Mitzvah of sadaqa but now I ask you a question how does the poor person feel how does the person who doesn't have feel and I'm not now talking about a manipulator I'm not talking about a user I'm not talking about a thief who uses people I'm talking about somebody who's genuinely poor not because always of their own choices or laziness at all there are people who are successful there are people who weren't successful financially and they struggle how do they feel by definition they feel a void it's embarrassing it's not easy to ask it's not easy to ask for money it's one of the most horrible and I'm nurses horrible what most difficult experiences in the world I don't know if anybody here is a fundraiser ask people of fundraise for their yeshiva so it's very very difficult and when it's for yourself oh my god it's not easy it is a very deep void this funding very very heavily that's missing there and therefore I am the moon and you're the Sun and the moon comes with the Sun and says please give me but dovid I'm Alex hasn't to hilum sama Daisy turns to ash M&E says yay Shiv or alumnus may Allah Kim Castle vanish Manion see Roos of the meddra says the burner Mellet called our semi a shovel in the finale and why can't you make a normal world where everybody has why do some people have to have and some people don't have to have Karl Marx decided to create a world where everybody has not right Churchill said socialism is communism is the equal distribution of misery capitalism is the unequal distribution of prosperity but the bottom ellic said why the unequal distribution why not equal distribution great question so Hashem answers tested famous Mannion Cyril who's going to preserve kindness and love in the world if there won't be an opportunity to give whoa so let's understand this from our perspective he has and he doesn't have he needs him from our Sam's perspective Shinae Moira's Agudelo you know who's wealthy and who's poor I have money because I'm better I'm superior God owes me something this person doesn't have why because they're inferior to me because they're not as bright as me that's the reason it's the dance of life God gives everybody an opportunity to be a mosh spear and everybody an opportunity to be a Mikado there are things I must give and there are things I must receive it could be money it could be wisdom it could be love it can be clarity and it could be billions and infinite things in life we all give we all take there's not one creation in the world that is not both a giver and a taker and the taker gives as much as he gives and the giver takes as much as fear he gives giving this another form of taking when I give I'm really taking you who are receiving from me are giving me the opportunity to fulfill my mission and I am o giving you I'm helping you fill your void and you're helping me ultimately fulfill my mission so what's the difference this is arrogance this is pompous this from our Sam's perspective name is adilyn the Sun is exactly like the moon and the moon is exactly that the Sun has as much as the Sun and this the moon has as much as the Sun as and the Sun has as much as the moon does not have everything the Sun has is not its own it comes from its source and what the moon doesn't have is all part of the sources experience and plan and destiny so that the Sun should be able to give and that the moon should be able to grow in that sense the moon is a giver and the Sun is a taker and the moon is a taker and the Sun is a giver Shinae Moira's Agudelo but the poor person can't feel this way if the poor person felt this way if the poor person really felt I have everything and the money that I'm supposed to get it's really mine it's just deposited in your bank account like it says in forums when I give sadaqa I'm not giving my own money part of my money Hashem gave me as a deposit as a bank to be able to pass on to somebody else but of course if every poor person would feel that way and a poor person would come to your door and say hey give me my money gave me my mommy you know how much people are gonna give get out of my house of course I'm giving you you should say thank you that's the mode we live in we live in a superficial world of course I'm giving you my money you need my money from God's perspective maybe he's giving me an opportunity actually to be who I'm supposed to be and actually I'm giving this person their money and I have a source to do it it's hard to see things that way that's the world we live in so we call it sadaqa/charity that's all year around besides one day I'm pouring we don't call it sadaqa important we call it my honest love you I know it's a gift a gift a gift I give to my wife I give my mother I give my sister I give a best friend they have given me things my whole life I give back what did this poor person give me on Purim when one reaches the state of Adelaide meaning we go out of the regular conception of polarity the giver and the taker the one who has the one who has not the Sun in the moon as two separate entities Emporium one has the ability to be able to transcend or hung on and baroque Mordecai his moments that I feel blessed and his moments that I feel cursed this moment that I feel like Martha I feel like home on this moment is that I'm perfect this moment that I'm perfect I'm pouring higher finish let me assume before you add the love you are the banner I'm on the bar of Martha which is why Purim happened in a leap year what is a leap year the synchronization you remember the synchronization of the Sun and the moon if that's the case I'm Portland we don't call it sadaqa we call it my honest love you I know I'm giving a gift what am I getting in return what do you mean what I'm getting in return I'm getting in return the ability to be able to give I need to be able to give as much as you need to be able to take in fact there's really absolutely no difference it could have been exactly the other way around do I know why I ended up the giving and you ended up taking and do I know what the future is gonna hold like and do I know where my soul belongs to be and where your soul belongs do I even really know who's the giver and who's the taker I don't know I'm giving of course I'm giving but I'm equally taking you're giving I'm giving you a gift the gift always means I got something from you before and I'm getting right now something from you the very fact that I'm giving is your materna the very fact that I'm giving you as a gift that's coming from you I'm pouring the consciousness can be elevated to a space we could look at the world and see it from a divine perspective where perfection and imperfection are equal forms of perfection and this concept of the Sun and the moon is essential to the entire drama and purpose of existence and understand it doesn't begin with poor people and wealthy people it doesn't get begin with people who give charity and those who receive charity this begins in the highest levels in Kabbalah in Makaha cities this concept is seen in godliness itself there's something called Zhou and malkos there was something called my spear and Makabe in the divine energy itself there are those elements that give and those elements that receive there's what's called a light and the vessel - earlier in the Kayle the giver and the taker the entire drama of existence from the highest levels and the energy operate in this process of give and take of my Fionna Kabul I give and you receive you receipt you give and I receive so you have teachers and students and parents and children and then you have the Sun in the moon and each one is either in my spear or amicable as a giver or a taker and then it comes down all the way to the world of finances where some people have more in Sepang people some people have less and we have the mitzvoth sadaqa i ought to support and help those who are needy those who are destitute but the people down here who give and take it could be traced back all the way up all of the levels because this is the very experience of life in the highest spiritual forms there is the gift and there is the receive but a whole year we live in a world of compartmentalization we live in a world of polarities and when I'm feeling a void I feel the void and when I need money or I need wisdom where I need inspiration or I need guidance or I need his oak or I need I need perception I need strength I feel the fact that I lack I need it I yearn for it I cry for it I plead for it I beg for it and I come to you when I say please help me that's the process that's what we call Sedaka and then there's once a year put him and put him we don't call it sadaqa we call it Matano Islam Jana what's the matter now as we said in the beginning the Gomora says he loved the oven lane isil enough surely i've limit anta a gift is reciprocal i give you a gift because previously you gave something to me it may have been tangible and may have been less tangible but a gift is a response to the goodwill that you have shown me to the point it goes so far that there is a view in the Gemara that madonna is like a matter it's like a sale a gift has similarities to a sale when you sell me an item you sell me your car it's because I'm giving you money for the car you sell me a product in the store it's because I paint you for the product you are simply exchanging I give you money and you give me an item now a gift is not exactly the same thing but the very idea demonstrates to us that a gift is also you've given me something in return that's not the case in regular charity and regular charity I am giving you you're not giving me something in return as a result after I do the Mitzvah I get something tremendous in return but I'm pouring there is a new consciousness in the world Purim which is like your hockey Purim it says in takuna Sawyer that you're in Kippur you're in hockey Purim is like Purim it's a Kasbah Shana it's one day of the year when the oneness is revealed akka special it's the day of goryl Purim who are Gural the day of lotteries meaning a doula Yoda beyond the regular das beyond the regular conscious perception of the world from a compartmentalized space where there are givers and there are takers there are takers there are givers in poor him we get to see it from the divine perspective important we lift ourselves up to the world of a cosmos on to the world of oneness to the world of either delorean to the world that is beyond my das which sees everything in a polarized compartmentalized fashion I'm putting in my see the universe I see the Jewish people see myself I see the cosmos I see cloudiest all from the divine perspective Shinae me iris Hockaday limb there's no great luminary and small luminary rather I see it as a singular process that a reminder Shalom established in existence that each of us has to receive and each of us has to give and the receivers as indispensable to the giver as the giver is to the receiver just as the receiver must have the giver because that is who he receives or she receives from the giver equal he needs to have the receiver in order to be able to fulfill his or her destiny in order to be able to fulfill his or her mission in the world it's a dance it's a dance of Rutsey and show you know how you dance you come closer and you come further Kirov and rehook it's the dance of the must be and the Makabe but it's all part of how could his berroco eisah mockolate subdeacon it's all over circular dance there's no Milan not there's no really the one who has and the one who doesn't have the one who doesn't have has as much as the one who has and the one who has doesn't have as much as the one who doesn't have and when I can sense that I look at the poor person I'm doing him a favor I'm giving him a gift but even before that what a gift he's giving me what a gift she is giving me the gift of awareness the gift to be able to have empathy the gift to be able to fulfill God's will the gift to be able to do my part and healing the world just your very presence gives me that gift before I even give the gift and therefore I'm not giving charity I'm giving the gift the poor man gave me a gift and I'm giving him back a gift we're giving each other gifts he's giving me a Madonna and he's giving me a nice of an option he's giving me a certain serenity he's allowing me to fulfill my role in the world and I'm giving him back a gift it's a gift it's not charity my Thomas love you in them and that's why we see something very interesting in the Rambam the Rambam and Elvis Magilla describes the Madonna's love you I never poured him different than the regular stuck in the Rambam describes it as an act in which we are bringing similar we are bringing joy to the poor people and that's why he says if you have a choice between increasing wish lake hamana summit honest love yharnam martinez loving him is should be given preference because as he says there's no symptom of a warrior there's no beautiful simcha like the symbol of giving joy to the poor person now every time you give charity you bring joy to the poor purse if he or she got money they're joyous but that's not the definition of sadaqa the definition of stock is giving him or her what they need as a result hopefully they'll be joyous there's a concept in sadaqa called savor pani me office do it smile the gomorrah says hammer and of abbas ramify soy doing it with sensitivity with empathy with a good vert not with a sour face this is to eliminate the shame this is to eliminate the misery to eliminate aggravation but it's in hillcrist Purim and hillcrist Magilla that the Rambam seems to say that their very definition of Madonna's love your name is simcha you're giving joy to the poor person so there's the joy of Purim that comes with the meal there's the joy of podium that comes with shallow smallness and the greatest joy their album says as Madonna Slavia in them why is this type of sadaqa directly associated with joy because it's a different type of stock usually old sadaqa ultimately lacks a certain joy the fact that I'm needy the fact that I need you and that's why the euro Xiaomi says it's difficult for a person to eat bread of shame bread of shame means bread that you give me that I did not generate through my own work and revenue it's embarrassing bread it's not simple it's not joy it's a special effort to make me feel good about it not important I'm poor and we feel the oneness we feel their quality you're not giving me charity you're giving me a gift you know why you're giving me a gift because I gave you Nigel enough shame I gave you something so in that sense I'm the wealthy man and you're the person I gave you a sense of serenity I gave you a sense of purpose I gave you the ability to fulfill your destiny were all equal ambassadors in God's world ambassadors of love of light of hope each one is doing our role don't take yourself so seriously don't become pompous don't become arrogant each of us is doing our role as an ambassador of our xem in this world I'm helping you fulfill your purpose just like you're helping me fulfill my purpose and thus in that sense I'm wealthy in you're poor and I'm wealthy even before you gave me that sadaqa I'm wealthy in the fact that what we sense is a different type of relationship and therefore it's a tremendous similar there very fact that you could show the poor person that the fact that you feel the knife cool enough say the pleasure that he is giving you the privilege that he is giving you or she's giving you to be able to give you show him that as much as he takes he is equally giving as much as he receives he's equally bestowing that itself is a tremendous Simba is a tremendous joy in the drama of existence and it's poram that gives us the perspective that we can afterwards take throughout the year with us how we treat those that we give to how we look at those that we give to how we make feel those that we give to and remember in all of life there is what I can give and there's what I can receive and remember when you were given the privilege of giving remember your ability have the confidence have the courage of the fortitude and have the spiritual sensitivity to be able to look the other person in the eyes and remind them that as much as you're giving them they are giving you this class was based on a talk that was delivered by the rabba by the lubavitcher rebbe poram Tufts and Lambert Alif for him 1971 Tufts and lemon olive yes have a happy Purim this class is brought to you by the yeshiva dotnet please help us continue the classes make even a small contribution at triple w dot they ueshiba net / donate