The Innocent Eisav: How We Destroy Many a Child - By Rabbi YY Jacobson

The Yeshiva.net There is a story that I can probably speculate most of us sitting in this room have grown up with from a very early age because it's a story that's shared each year to students both girls and boys in schools, hadarim, talmud torahs, yeshivas or whatever the setting of learning is. It's one of these ancient traditions that gets transmitted year after year to Jews growing up in an environment of Jewish education. And sometimes when you hear something so many times and from such an early age you never stop to ask how really can one understand this or appreciate this because at face value there would be something that really begs for clarification. And I'm referring here to the story the opening of the parshas of parshas told us where it says that Rivka finally after many years vatacha Rivka ishtoh she becomes pregnant but vayisrotzetzu habanim bekirbah the fetuses, the children are agitated in her. And this creates a crisis for her, an identity crisis. It's not just physical pain which in and of itself is not easy to bear but vatomer she says according to pasuk im kein lama zeh anochi if so, why am I? How do you understand this question? Somebody is carrying a child and it's a difficult pregnancy. So the possuk says, she says "Im kein lomo zeh anochi." Why am I? What does why am I mean? Why do I exist? Why am I here? Why do I have an identity? Why is it that I have a sense of I? Lomo zeh anochi. You remember the possuk him? Anybody remembers? Huh? You could look it up in the beginning of told us. But telech lidroish Hashem. She goes to inquire from Hashem an answer to this dilemma. Why am I? Not why am I hurting. Not is there any homeopathic remedy. Not can we do this any other way. But rather why am I? Lomo zeh anochi. That's a very heavy question. Why am I? Did you ever ever Did you ever hear anybody ask such a question? Why am I? Not what am I? That's also a deep question. But that you hear. Why am I? You could speak. Rene Descartes said "I think, therefore I am." So you think therefore you Um not David Hume, you mean Descartes. No. Descartes. David Hume. Descartes. I think, therefore I am. Okay. Right. Right. And the joke is that he once came to a restaurant and he asked for a coffee, a cafe, and they said with sugar? He says I don't think so. So he disappeared. Why am I? Okay, it's it's it's just interesting that this was her reaction to what seems like a physical physical pain. What's God's response? Shnei bevitnech. There are two nations in your womb. Ushnei leumim me'ayich yipparedu. Two civilizations will depart from your inwards. Ula'am la'am ye'amatz. And one will gain strength from the defeat of the other. Verav ya'avod tza'ir, the great will serve the small the young. And Rivka's satisfied. How does that ease her problem? She had a very difficult agitated experience carrying these babies. It was so difficult to the point that she questions her identity. So, Hashem says it's all good. There's two nations in your womb. Well, now I'm really excited. I thought it was one one kid. Now there's two. Okay, great. So, does that make When you know that you have twins, does it make it easier? If she was bothered by the pain, the pain was still there. The agitation was still there. Chazal tell us, and this is the tradition I'm referring to, Rashi brings it, Vayitrotzatzu comes from the word ritzah, running. Gravitating. That the two children in the womb were gravitating to two different ideals. Whenever Rivka passed by a home, a yeshiva, a place of Torah, the yeshiva of Shem or Ever, Yaakov was gravitating outward. He was kicking. And whenever she passed by a pagan ashram or center, a monastery, even though when we learned it, our teacher told us when she passed by a kirche. You know what a kirche is? A church. Then I grew up, I found out that Christianity happened a little bit after that. So, I'm not sure Rivka passed by churches. But, uh she passed by whatever they were, pagan centers of idolatry. So, Esau was kicking. So, in the womb, he was gravitating to idolatry, and that was the agitation. The agitation was, "Lama zeh Anochi? Why am I?" This is what's happening. So, what does Hashem say? "Two nations are coming from your womb." Did that make it easier? That satisfied her answer. Now it's fine. Why? You still have a child who's gravitating to avodah zarah. How did that satisfy Rivka's Rivka's dilemma? So, whether you whether you explain it literally or moral pidrash homiletically, how was her dilemma solved? I want to change the subject, though. We grow up calling Yaakov a tzaddik and Esau a rasha. You don't grow up calling a lioness a rasha and a sheep a tzaddik. And the reason is because the lioness didn't choose to be a lioness, and the sheep didn't choose to be a sheep. They are genetically programmed, encoded to follow the instincts in order to survive, live, and propagate. The lioness, as she is born from her mother, or the lion who are born from his from its mother, grow up, they're nurtured by their uh the cubs are nurtured by the lioness, who ultimately teach them how to live, how to survive. And everything they do in order, including catching and hunting for their prey, is genetically dictated by them in order to satisfy their hunger and their will to live. The antelope survives one way, the cheetah another. The elephant one way and the grizzly bear another. The hyena one way and the fox another. One will not call the antelope the saddiq of the generation and the cheetah the rasha of the generation. Even though if you follow National Geographic or you visited Kruger's Kruger's National Park or other jungles, you know that the scene is not always so um pleasing to the eye. But this is the only world they know. This is the only behavior they know. This is not called evil. They're not making a moral choice. The lioness doesn't wake up in the morning and say, "Who am I going to kill today? Who am I going to murder today? Whose life am I going to destroy today?" And the sheep doesn't get up in the morning and say, "I decided today I'm going to be nice, pleasant, docile, submissive." And yet we call Esau a rasha. Yaakov a saddiq. Is that fair? In the womb of his mother he was gravitating to idolatry. Who makes the choices in the womb of their mother? Anybody remembers? The things you chose in the womb of your mother, who chose them? You actually calculated, you thought about it, you weighed the pros and the cons, you had an impulse and you had to triumph over it? Even when we're born, for years we don't make choices. Others make choices for us, hopefully better ones. But in the womb of the mother you're basically completely not the separate conscious creature making choices. It's basically reflective of your genes, of your genetic makeup, of your mother's egg, of your father's seed. Which is the comp the material that creates the embryo that develops into a fetus. Who was making Esau's choices at that point? Esau or God? Who decided that Esau should gravitate to avoid the Zohar? He? He made such a decision. And who decided that Jacob should gravitate to homes of Torah and monotheism, Amunah? Jacob? This is what we call in English predetermined. Their life seems to be playing out a And it's a script from which Esau could not deviate. How could he deviate from it when in the womb of his mother he was even going there? You can't blame it on nurture. First of all, he was nurtured by good parents. But this is absolute nature. Momish nature. It's not even a question of nature and nurture. This is before any nurture, before upbringing, before an environment. He wasn't influenced by anybody. This is in the womb of his mother he's gravitating to avoid the Zohar. Now he's born and everybody his mother knew this. Maybe that's why she liked Jacob. Now he grows up and he goes that path. Why are you calling him a Russia? Is he much different than the Is the difference in him and Jacob much different than the difference between the lioness and the and the goat or the sheep? You don't call the lioness a Russia. That's how she was created. Did Esau have choice? Or did Esau not have choice? If it's in the womb of his mother, doesn't seem like he had a choice. Which brings us to the really the next issue. And that is what's happening in the womb of our mothers is really reflective of our mothers more than of ourselves. Or reflective at least of our fathers more than of ourselves. So Esau's gravitating to avoid the Zohar seems to be more an issue of Yitzhak and Rivka than of him. Because in the womb of your mother, you're not a separate child. Ubar yerech imo, as the Gemara says, a fetus is part of the mother. So, who's really gravitating to avoid the zara? This is the product of Yitzchak and Rivka. That would seem very strange to say about Yitzchak and Rivka. Which brings us to another issue and a larger issue. And that is When one reads I said this a few days ago in the ministry, a very Not yesterday. A very interesting phenomenon. When we learn in school Chumash, we usually learn it immediately with Rashi and Meforshim. When your teachers taught you Chumash or there are some teachers I know in the crowd, you teach Chumash. I don't know how you teach, but I know how I I was taught Chumash. Immediately we learned it with the Meforshim. That's wonderful, but it also poses a challenge. Challenge is most students never get the feel of the text itself. Cuz we right away interject commentary on the text. Now, although the commentary is vital and important and of course true, but there's something to say about letting the text itself impact you without any accessories. That's step two. Step one is just seeing if this is sacred text, divine text, what does the text say? And remember, Rashi didn't have Rashi. Right? You know that, right? Ramban didn't have Ramban. Siforno Kli Yakar, they didn't have. For thousands of years they just had the text. So, how did they read the text? We're reading the text through their eyes, but they couldn't read the text through their eyes. They had to read the text. That was a luxury they had that we don't have anymore. It's good sometimes just to see the text without anything else. And then see what we're dealing with. So now I'll I'll I'll ask you if you have time to do this. You'll see it's interesting. You read the parsha, read parsha told us without Rashi without any commentary. Just read the text. And tell me at the end of the parsha, who do you empathize with more? Do you empathize more with Yakov? Do you empathize more with Esau? Some of you don't understand where I'm going because may I say you have been so uh I didn't want to use that word. I didn't want to use that word. I know the word indoctrinated very well. Influenced. Psyched up? So Zion is Zion. Okay, I wasn't going so dramatic. But if psyched up works, fine. Let me use my word. We have been influenced by the coming What do you mean? What do we Esau is a rasha, rasha, lowlife. I didn't say a rasha don't have a kill, horrible horrible kid. Everybody knows it. Yitzchak is in la-la land. Esau deceives him. I got that. I know, I also drank your Kool-Aid. But if you read the text, that's not the case. There is not one negative, genuine negative statement that parsha told us says about Esau. Not one. A few little stuff, but I'll tell you what they are. If I read the text without any knowledge, without preconceived notions without reading commentary without midrashim or stories that have been told to me about Esau. I just read the text itself and I have nothing else by which to judge anybody's standards or experiences or reactions. Let's face it. Esau is born first and Jacob is not happy about it. He's holding on to his heel and not letting him get out. So immediately before I read anything else, Jacob is the one who's not comfortable with his position. He comes out. He's called Esau, he's called Jacob. Rebecca loves Jacob, Isaac loves Esau. Jacob is a a studious student and Esau knows how to hunt, he's a man of the field. Okay. Okay. So in other words, today they would diagnose him as ADD, as ADHD, maybe some other diagnosis. He can't sit still. He's not a studious, he's not a bookworm. He's a social creature, he loves hunting, he loves sports, he's an athlete. He loves the field, he loves hiking, he loves the outdoors, he loves the water. He's a mischievous fellow and he's very very active. Okay. Shine. He has a special relationship with his father, it says sayed be feev, he feeds him. What happens in the next scene is Esau comes on from the field and he's exhausted. All it says is he's exhausted. Doesn't say anything else. And his brother cooked up this delicious dinner. It happened to be a lentil soup. So Esau says, can I have some of the Adam, can I have some of these lentils? Right? So his brother says, no problem. It would be like I'm coming to your house, I'm exhausted, can I have a little soup? He says, no problem, just write off over your house to my name. Here's a deed, sign. Sign over your house and your car and your second house and everything you own just sign it over to me and of course I'll give you lentil soup. Excusez moi, who's the nice person here? Who's the nice person here? SO JACOB SAYS NO PROBLEM. I'LL GIVE YOU A PIECE OF SUSHI. I want your birthright. Who's talking about my birthright? I asked you for a little food. You're my brother. Nope, I want your birthright. So Esau actually says something very primally says the way I'm living I'm going to die anyway. Okay, he's on the wild side. I don't need birthright. So he gives over the birthright to turn it as he embarrassed his birthright. The next scene as we move on his father offers him to give him brooches. You bring me food, I bless you. And Rifka behind the curtain overhears tells Jacob, I'll give you the food. You'll dress up like Esau. You'll take the blessings. That's what happens. And when Esau comes back he's so disappointed. When he finds out that this moment which promised to be a moment of intimacy between father and son of great affection, of great love, of great camaraderie was snatched away from him. His father says your brother came deceitfully and took the blessing and Esau looks at his father and we can hear his voice. He says, that's why you named him Jacob. Jacob means sly, outsmarting. He's been always outsmarting me. He stole my birthright and now he took my birthright and now he took my blessing. Kishmaia Esau is divrei Yakov vayitzak tzaka gdola umara. He cries out this primal cry and I I just read the text and every year I feel this boy who feels that he was never given a chance. This primal bitter cry from the beginning of my life this sport that my brother cannot allow me to be. In the womb he couldn't allow me to be. As an older brother he couldn't allow me to be in a moment of intimacy with my father. He doesn't allow me to be. And he turns to his father and says, "Bless me, too." And he says, "I already gave away your blessings." And he says, "I brocha achas ilocha, you only have one blessing." Vayisa Esav es kol elav vayev. He begins weeping. Rarely does the Torah describe emotions, ever. And one of the few exceptions is here. It wants us to mit fill in, to empathize with Esav's emotions. The kid who's standing there like a oiz geklapter hashaina on a shaina rabba. You know what it looks like? And it wasn't clapped five times, it was clapped 500 times. His own mother told him he's a rotten apple. And finally looks at his father and he's weeping and he Nobody gave me a chance. And what's the next stage? He wants to kill his brother. Okay, who doesn't? Who doesn't? Many people want to kill their brother, or sister, or mother, or this one, this one. I wish I could kill them. These are primal human instincts. Present company excluded. Or so etiquette demands to say. But you know what I'm talking about. He never kills him. He thinks he wants TO KILL HIM. OKAY, SHANE. YOU NEVER HAD somebody who got under the skin and you say, "I wish this person was dead." You don't have to all raise your hand simultaneously. But you know the answer to the question if you're honest with yourself. And if you're not, get out. You could stay, it's fine. Okay, HE WANTS TO KILL HIS BROTHER, SHANE. You want If every time you want to kill somebody, you would be considered a murderer, like you want. Especially in a moment of rage, in a moment of anger, your impulses are taking the better of you. That's what happens to people. Never kills him. And Rivka he Yaakov away because your brother wants to kill him. That's the end of the story. The one thing we know it says is that Esau married two women and his parents did not like them. Okay, welcome to the club. Your Schwieger loves you? Every Schwieger loves a daughter-in-law. Every Schwieger loves a son-in-law. We all know the truth. Again, present company, of course, excluded. Yitzchak and Rivka didn't like Esau's wives. Okay. It's not the end of the world. Many marriages have survived that way. When you read told us Esau is not depicted as an evil monster. When you read the Meforshim, there's a new story. He's been kidnapping women. He was a rapist. He was a murderer. He was a killer. He was a lowlife. He was a despicable person. A whole different story. I'm not doubting the facts. I'm marveling on the fact that the Chumash eliminates even one such mention of moral monstrosities. Even one mention of atrocities that Esau committed. Of terrible promiscuity. Of evil monstrous negative unethical behavior. What I get from Esau is he's not a scholar. Okay. He's not going to be giving the sheer daf yomi. Okay. He's not a citizen. He's good outside. He's a great hunter. He's a man of the land. He loves his father. He loves his He'll do anything for his father. And his father loves him. His mother and him have some issues. And it doesn't start off with him, apparently. We also find out that his brother has been taking a lot of things from him and it's hurting him very badly. And at one point, he says I want to kill this kid. Chazal had a tradition about Esau that he was a rasha. My question is, number one, if it was in the womb of his mother, it's not his fault. Number two, the text will not give us a clue of Esau being a bad kid. In fact, I'll maintain it again. If you read Toldos without mefarshim, at the end you read the text in Hebrew, even better, and even in English, but even the original even better, and allow your imagination just to be relaxed, and not to make judgments, and not to reinterpret old interpretations into the text, and you tell me the truth honestly, if you don't cry together with Esau the moment he is manipulated by the people he trusted most. His mo- by the people we should trust most, our mothers and our siblings. So, I want to try to give perspective to Asia Hashem Yisborch. Because the story that we are really reflecting upon is not a story only about two people, two brothers, and their parents who lived 3,600 years ago or so, but it's really an ongoing timeless story about every person sitting in this room, every person really, every one of our children, every one of our grandchildren, and really every one of us. It's an inner story. Like all stories in Torah, they're not only outer stories, they're inner stories. And inner stories are always timeless. Yaakov and Esau were two siblings, twins, born and merged together from the same mommy and tatty from Rivka and Yitzchak. So, let's reflect on our Rambam. The Rambam, Rabbeinu Moshe ben Maimon, who some call Maimonides, is known as Rambam, lived in the 12th century. He wrote many, many works. Until today, the Rambam is considered one of the greatest scholars, halakhic authorities, leaders, philosophers of Judaism. The Rambam has a small pamphlet, what you would call today a pamphlet, known as Shmona Prakim, eight chapters, an essay, a long treatise, a long pamphlet, a book, a little booklet of eight chapters, Shmona Prakim. It was his introduction to Pirkei Avot. He wrote a commentary on all of Mishnayot, including Pirkei Avot, the Ethics of the Fathers, and as an introduction to Pirkei Avot, he wrote eight chapters, a small volume. In chapter six, he says it's important to understand that there are two types of people. I'll use his words and then I'll explain. It's actually not his words cuz he wrote the com- he wrote this book in Arabic. It was translated into Hebrew. It's not written in Hebrew. Most of the Rambam's works, in fact, all of them besides one, were written in Arabic, as most of the rabbis and the sages who lived in Muslim countries during those years, the 12th century, the 10th century, the 11th century, the 13th the 12th century, 13th century. It's a fascinating phenomenon. If the Muslim world wants to learn Jewish philosophy, they have much closer access to it than Jews, cuz we only read translation. They can actually understand the original. In fact, there was once a Jew called me. He already passed away. He was a very interesting person. He was a scholar and activist. And he said that he wants to suggest something. That in light of the Muslim atrocities and fundamentalist Islam rearing its ugly head around the world, why don't we take the classic works of Jewish philosophy and make them available in the millions, the hundreds of millions in mass to Arab communities around the world because these were such enlightened works by great philosophers. Let them read it and perhaps it can influence them. ISIS wasn't interested. Let's put it that way. Nor was Al-Qaeda very very passionate about this idea. The Rambam writes there are two types of people. The way it's translated in Hebrew is Hamula and Yitzhara. Hamula literally means the good pious person. Yitzhara is the person who conquers their inclinations. What is the distinction he's making? He's saying never think that a nation or a family or even one person is made up of one dough. As we say in Yiddish, cannot from one cake. A person is not needed from one dough. And a nation is not needed from one dough and a family is not. It's not one dough. There is diversity. And diversity is sown into the very fabric of a people. And generally he speaks about two categories. One is somebody who by nature is good, moral, ethical. And one is somebody who struggles. They must struggle with everything. Everything is a fight. And nothing for them comes easy. Almost nothing is inherited. Every step of the way they have to struggle to earn whatever they want to earn. And at the end they can really call it their own cuz really nobody gave it to them. And he says it's two very different figures. And it's not their choice. Some things in life we choose. This we don't choose. You can choose what you do with your struggles. How you view your struggles. How you navigate them and what your conclusions are. You can choose whether you're born in one way or you're born another way. Let's take it with children. There are children you all know who grow up, you did not maybe in 12 years in school you didn't get one call from the principal about them. They're up at 6:00. The homework was done already 5 minutes after they came home from school. They're dressed an hour before the bus comes, waiting patiently for the bus to arrive. They're always on time, well-behaved, their clothes on the right place. I'm a chaya. And then you have another child. You're waiting for one day that you don't get a call from school. One child one day that they shouldn't miss the bus so you don't have to drive them for 20 minutes and get stuck in the 9:00 or 8:30 morning Muncie traffic. You're waiting for that one day that they'll actually do what they're supposed to do. And follow the routine, follow the pattern. You have chosid amulo. You have that son or daughter. They just follow the route, they follow the program. And everyone says, "Ah, ah Nachas." You hatch them, you match them, and you dispatch them. And it's all easy. It all works. That's it. You go from the bris to the upsherin to the bar mitzvah AND TO STROLL CHUPPAH, BOOM. CALL ME WHEN YOU HAVE a grandchild. I'll come for the pidyon haben. I'll sponsor the chocolates. That's it. Wonderful. And then you have other children who are very different. They get to your kishkes. Anybody knows what I'm talking about? Nobody does, right? Okay. Present company excluded. Monsey got none of those, huh? Everybody just follows on the right path. Yeah. The 59, right? Nuntas, noisen tam. That's 59. Batamt, so batamts. You have a son or a daughter and there's these challenges. How do we view this? The same is true with educational institutions. With yeshivas, with Beis Yaakovs, with Beis Rochels, with Beis Sarahs, with Whatever it is. Boys schools or girls schools. There's often a model which celebrates a particular child. And when you fit this model, you're great. But when you stick out, what do we do? I sent my son to a particular yeshiva, a very good yeshiva. So I asked him the other day, "How is the yeshiva?" He says it's good. So I said, "Is the yeshiva made up of a box? And does everybody have to fit into that box? He thinks, he says, absolutely yes. It just happens to be that by nature I fit their box. So, for me it works. But if somebody wouldn't fit into that box, oy vey voy. So, it happens to be that by nature I fit into their box, so it works for me. It was an insightful observation. And sometimes we ask ourself, what mistakes did we make as good Jewish mothers or good Jews? If a Jew doesn't feel guilty, she blames herself. What mistakes did I make? What sins did I commit? What transgressions did I do that God punished me and my husband so badly to be able to deal with this child? And I'm talking about if it's at age six with six-year-old struggles, or age 13 with 13-year-old struggles, or when it gets a little more exciting at age 17, 18, 19, or even more exciting at later years. But the truth is that the whole perspective needs to be reinvented. Moishe Rabbenu similar bonam. The Rambam says, if you think that people are supposed to be the same, you got it wrong. The whole basis of civilization is that there is diversity inherent into the fabric of society. No two people are supposed to be the same, and therefore to demand from two children to grow up identically is not only unreasonable, but it's cruel. Not only is it cruel, it represents a display of profound ignorance, not only of what is realistic, but even more of a spiritual relationship with God. Because the one who's ultimately responsible for differences is not you. It's the Ribono shel Olam. So, if you can cannot respect divergent journeys, you can't respect God. You worship so you worship the culture of your society. You don't worship God. When you worship God, you respect diversity. In fact, you celebrate diversity because diversity was created by Hashem. When you worship the culture of a society that wants everybody to look the same, that's a form of subtle idolatry. So, the Rambam tells us that there are two different types of Jews, and they will forever be different. And their paths sometimes cross over very little. There's the Hasid Amulo. There's that wonderful pious person what they call goody-goody. You're just a good you're just good. Things work out for you. You know, functional home, a fine home, good disposition, you like to do the right thing. Somehow Yiddishkeit speaks to you with simcha ya. And that's wonderful. Celebrate it, dance with it, fly with it, and move on. Not in a form of arrogance, but in a form of satisfaction. But then there's another soul. And the other soul is the conqueror of inclinations, Koivush ha'Yitzer. Somebody who fluctuates. Somebody who has ups and downs. They take nothing for granted. And that's why they can experience gratitude. And they make sacrifices, and they have to fight and battle. What do they have to battle? They may have to battle deep inner skeletons, demons, ghosts, fears, insecurity. Never mind if there was abuse. Never mind if there was molestation. Never mind if there was serious dysfunction in their life, but even if not, sometimes from the womb, from nature, God set them on a different path. They're sensitive to things that other people are not sensitive. They may have to deal with fears, insecurities, anxiety, depression, inclinations that other people might not even fathom or understand. What about people struggling with homosexual tendencies? It's easy to say it doesn't exist in my family, but it does exist in your family or in your neighbor's family, or in your friend's family. And it's easy TO TELL SOMEBODY, "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE LIKE YOUR BROTHER? WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE LIKE YOUR SISTER?" It's foolish. It's cruel. It's insensitive, and most importantly, it's unholy to speak like that. It's ungodly. These challenges were not chosen necessarily by this person. Sometimes a person could take accountability for challenges. If my GPS, or what we call today Waze, tells me, "Make a right," and I say, "She doesn't know what she's talking about." I told the GPS people that for men, they should only sell GPS with men talking, not women, cuz it reminds them of their wives, and they're afraid to listen. If you tell them to go right, they say, "Who? I know better." That's what men do. But they insist on having ladies' voices. I don't understand why. My issue wasn't sneers. I never even thought of that. My issue was that Oh, you could change it, baruch Hashem, but men won't figure that out. And usually, they're too lazy to do that. So, if their GPS tells me to go right, then I go left, and then I find myself on the way to California. I could say, "You know what? As there's a fault, so come there." Next time, listen to Waze. Although you're not always supposed to listen cuz they don't know how to do U-turns. They always follow structure, and sometimes you have to defy structure. Okay? So, when you didn't listen to the GPS, GPS Russia Tavis God's positioning system, you could say you made a left, you were supposed to make a right, eat the kasha. Eat the cholent that you made. Okay, I got it. But we all know that many struggles in life were really not chosen by this boy or girl at the age of 16 or 17 or 23. And what about mental illness? Something else we don't talk about. What about mental illness? The stigma of all stigmas that nobody's allowed to talk about. Who choose who chose that? And what type of struggles do people have to deal with? And what about deep depression? And what about other forms of anxiety? I'm not going to stand here and read off a billion medical terms. But these are things that people often deal with and face on a daily basis, on a weekly basis, on a monthly basis. And other challenges that a person has either from nurture or from nature and usually a combination of both of them. And here we come to Jacob and Esau. Jacob and Esau were the two children of Yitzchak and Rivkah. And they were not destined to follow the same path even if they would both live up to their godly potential. What it means for Jacob to serve God is not what it means for Esau to serve God. And this is maybe one of the most important understandings of Yiddishkeit in terms of our way to Hashem. What it means for you to serve God is not what it means for me to serve God. What for one person is a void of Hashem is for another person almost irrelevant or not possible. Or completely not what Hashem wants from them. And what for another person is a void of Hashem is for the other person perhaps a cop out or or a different path that's really not for them. So the key is not to try to be like anybody else. The key is to ask myself what does God want from me? Where is my void of Hashem at this moment? And the answer to that is always very individualistic. It's never uniform. It can't be. Of course there are certain commonalities that combine all of us. There are certain moral codes that bind all of us. But in the nuances of a person's journeys in the mission statement of a person's life in our journeys through our day-to-day experiences and encounters, service of Hashem for Esau looks very different service of Hashem for Jacob. And for one to try to replicate the other is not only unrealistic and unwise but ultimately a betrayal of God's plan for you. Because if this was his plan for you, this is your path to him. So let's understand this. Esau in the womb is struggling with avoid the Zara. Jacob in the womb is struggle is not struggling. He's gravitating to Kadusha. Who chose that? Not them. Hashem. Hashem wanted Jacob to gravitate to avoid the Zara. So why we calling him a Russia? We're not calling him a Russia Esau. That you never call somebody a Russia because they're gravitating to avoid the Zara. You know why? It wasn't their choice. It was a sham's choice. That doesn't make a person a rush. The struggle against evil is not evil. The battles that I have to fight in order to be an upstanding moral person don't make me bad. Just because I may have terrible terrible thoughts, difficult thoughts, depressing thoughts or emotions that threaten to undermine my integrity, that doesn't make me a bad person. Sometimes that is what makes me the special person I am if I know how to deal with them. Sometimes your path to avoid this Hashem must lead through difficult, strenuous and evil thoughts. The question is not if you struggle or not. The question is how you deal with your struggle. Esau's gravitation to avoid the Zohar does not MAKE HIM A RUSSIA. IN FACT, IT'S THE ONLY PATH TO HASHEM that he will ever know about. And not only is it a path, it's a path that in some ways is far superior to Jacob's path, which is why Yitzchak loves him so much and wants to bless him, not Jacob. To believe that Yitzchak was just a naive old blind man is symbolic of the notion that we have, not we, some of us have, that the more stupid, the more holy, the more la la land, the more heavenly, the more depressed, the more godly, the more idiotic, the more somehow it makes me feel good about religion. But you understand that real people can't respect that. And if godliness is based on myth and uh fictional novels and weird personalities who don't know what hit them and could be manipulated by any gabbai or secretary or shamash cuz they're so holy, there's something off about such a holiness. Put it very simply, if somebody is if holiness means some mythical weird superman who flies in the clouds with nine wings, fine, that works. But if holiness is really a description of living with real reality, then people who are holy are more alert, less naive, much more with their finger on the pulse of reality. Are you going to compliment God and say God is so holy doesn't know what hit him? And everybody could manipulate him. What you're worshipping such a God, why would you believe in such a God? Why would I ask advice from somebody who really doesn't know what hit them? And whatever their gabbai tells them, they believe. You got to be a fool. So you want to ask a question, what is a tzaddik? The first definition of a tzaddik is somebody who's in touch with truth constantly. And somebody who's in touch with truth is not gullible by some kid who has them wrapped around the finger. You know your son, don't you? You think Yitzchak didn't know his son? Your son doesn't manage to fool you. And you think Yitzchak was fooled by his son? And even if he was, why couldn't Rivka sit down with him and say, "Yitzchak, are you're out for lunch?" Like you do with your husbands? Why couldn't she enlighten him and say to Yitzchak, you're a fine a Yid, you're a holy Yid, but when it comes to real life, let me run the show. Yitzchak, you mean well, but let's face it, you're clueless. Esau is a rash marasha. They never had such a conversation. Sarah and Avraham didn't have a conversation about Yishmael. And at the end, Hashem told Avraham, listen to Sarah. So, we grow up, Yitzchak was this naive tzaddik. That's a contradiction in terms. Naive people are fine, but they're not tzaddik. I mean, you call them tzaddikim, tzaddikim in terms of their righteous. In terms of a tzaddik, of a leader of a generation, a tzaddik, somebody who's going to trailblaze the path for a generation, how could you be naive? It baffles an imagination to think that a leader of a generation is somebody who doesn't know anything. It's very strange. It's very strange. But I guess if somebody is in a cult, it works better. But if somebody's open, if somebody is broad, if somebody is expansive, there's something off about it. There's something very off about it. So, we really have to understand what this means. There's an expression today, there's different expressions today where people often use terms that work sociologically, but when you think about them, they're clueless. Doesn't make sense. So, that's the question. Is Judaism true, or is Judaism just here to propagate our sociological propaganda? So, I'm not going to answer that question. You all Everybody has to answer that question for themselves. But there's a disproportionate amount of young Jews who live in Monsey and other places who feel most of it is propaganda. And I speak to them a lot, and they tell me it's all proper There's no no one Nobody searches for truth. Nobody's allowed to question something that's real, because maybe truth contradicts it because if you do you're a heretic. So in an environment where every question is deemed heresy, what happens if there's a real question? How is a real question raised? And how do you distinguish between a real question and a non-legitimate question? It's a very dangerous situation. So therefore here is the real deal. If Yitzchak was just naive la-la land, he's a great guy. We have no Let me take my If somebody is naive, it's wonderful. It's a wonderful way to live. Ignorance is bliss. But I can't turn them into the leader of a generation. You can't. It's not fair to people. A defense minister needs to know what's happening on the front and the commander-in-chief needs to know what's happening on the field. I can't live in an ivory tower with closed eyes detached with the ability to be manipulated by scoundrels and unethical people who come to me and say, "How do you give meister from salt?" You know what I'm talking about? That's what Rashi says. He came to Yitzchak. "How do you give meister from salt?" And Yitzchak is like, "Wow, Rivka, zam nachas." Really? Your son wouldn't be able to fool you with that question. But Yitzchak was completely fooled. It's a teller of a zach. The truth is the whole idea is erroneous. Yitzchak was a fool. Yitzchak knew Esau very, very well. He knew him better than everybody else. The difference about Yitzchak Yitzchak was he understood Esau's struggles. That's what people didn't know. Yitzchak knew Esau from inside out, not from outside in. And if you don't know people from inside out, you don't know them. And if you don't know them, you should be quiet. You don't judge people if you don't know them from the inside out, only from the outside in. You can't judge somebody. You can't have a relationship with them. Yitzchak understood Eisav's battles. Yitzchak knew that in his womb HE WAS GRAVITATING TO IDOLATRY, MEANING THE RIBONO SHEL OLAM WANTED HE SHOULD GRAVITATE TO AVODAH ZARAH. UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS. SOMETIMES HASHEM PUTS A PERSON in a situation where he wants them TO GRAVITATE TO SOMETHING THAT IS AGAINST HIS WILL. So you'll say, "What's happening?" The answer is, gravitating to something that's against his will is not against his will. Succumbing to the gravitation, surrendering to the addiction, FALLING PREY to the impulse, that's where sin begins. The person who has a tendency THAT THEY HAVE TO BATTLE, THAT DOESN'T MAKE YOU BAD. IN FACT, IT MAY MAKE YOU FAR HOLIER THAN ANYBODY ELSE IN THE GENERATION. THAT is your path to God. The Maggid of Mezeritch writes, the Nachum of Chernobyl. The Gemara says in Maseches Yoma, tractate Yoma, haboleh tamei posel lo. Haboleh tamei posel lo. Somebody who comes to be cleansed, heaven helps him or her. Somebody who comes to become tamei, you want to be contaminated, posel lo. Heaven opens up doors for that person. The first time it says they help you. The second time it says they open up for you. Literally, why? Cuz if you're coming to do a mitzvah, Hashem helps you. If you're coming to do an aveira, doesn't help you, but he opens up the door. You want to go, go. Here's a path. I'm not going to help you, but you can go. The Maggid of Mezeritch says the exact opposite. When somebody comes to do a mitzvah, they help him. Haboleh tamei, when somebody is coming to become tumah, in other words, I'm being overtaken by various challenges, challenges of different types, and it's coming into me and it's inviting me to tumah, so the Gemara says, "Pois chaim lan." You should know, this is not a challenge. This is your Pesach. This is your door. This is your entrance to the Ribono shel Olam. This is your path. Peacefully, Shaarei Tzedek, avoy v'omoy dakah. Don't look at your anxiety, toxicity, struggles, addictions, stuff that you deal with as evil, as God saying, "You're a mess." No, no, no, no. You're not. You're very close to me, and you can only be close to me through this. This is your path. This is your way. By confronting it, by subduing it, by dealing with it, sometimes by transforming it, but by not running away FROM IT. ESAU COULDN'T WAKE UP IN THE MORNING and say, "God, I love you, and I love davening." Wasn't an option. Yaakov, yeah. Esau, not. You know what Esau has when he wakes up in the morning? "God, I have issues with you. I'm running to avoid this aura. That's what I am." THAT'S IN HIM. IT'S PLANT PLANTED IN HIM. THIS wasn't his choice. It was in the womb of his mother. He never chose it. And now, he has to ask himself, "What do I do with this?" I could do two things. I could fall prey to it, and I could just let it control me, or I could put it in context, and say, "This is how Hashem wants me to serve him." And the results are from one extreme to another extreme. I don't choose my child. I don't choose my spouse. I don't even choose myself. Sometimes in the same person, you could change from hour to hour, from day to day, from month to month, from year to year. There are moments that you're following Yaakov's path. And there are moments, sometimes a few months, that you're given a different journey. You put on Eisav's path. And then you're a voida that becomes a whole new avoida. You have to battle a force of darkness that wants to defeat you. Or you have to battle a temptation that wants to defeat you. And it's very inviting. It's very powerful. And that's a moment that calls for your sacrifice. Now, for another person, they would laugh from it. This is avoida Hashem. This is a joke. This is a comedy. This is insignificant. It's irrelevant. For this person, this is where life is at. This is where God is at. This is where truth is at. They must own their life. And in order to own their life, they fight for their life. And some people, this is almost their exclusive path. And when they look at themselves, they ask themselves, "When am I going to retire? When will my heart just be able to chill out and relax? When will I just be able to be like everybody else?" You know that question? "When will I be able to come into a barmitzvah and just feel like everybody else in the room? Why is it that when I go home, it's never simple? For 3 days I'm regurgitating what this one said to me. Why can't I just sit like a glump for an hour and talk about an iPhone or a shaitel?" Or whatever exciting things there are. "Why do I have to be the sensitive of who picks up everybody's energy? and then I have to deal with it for the next 3 and 1/2 months. And then when I asked my husband, "Did you hear what she said?" He says, "She was there?" Right? They could have eaten with you Friday night for 6 hours, but he wants to know if she was there. Okay, it's a good sign, I guess. Imagine Esau would could start comparing himself to Jacob. Jacob to Esau is the worst thing you can do to yourself. A bully told me poison my and this is true and almost this is true socially, psychologically, physically, emotionally, spiritually, in terms of Hashem, in terms of yourself, in terms of every one of your children, in terms of every one of your students, in terms of every one of your friends. What people need is not to be compared to other people. What people need is to be empowered. That wherever you are and whatever you're dealing with, God is opening a door for you to connect to him through this reality of your life. And sometimes that reality is not rosy. Temptation to evil is not evil. Sometimes it's the path to holiness. The path through which I reach my holiness, a bully told me is poison my is through that temptation. How? By confronting it. Not by falling prey to it. I'm not saying doing the temptation is holy. That's not holy. But the tendency that I have to struggle with, that was from Hashem. In other words, that's my path to Kedusha. And one of the worst thing people do is they deride themselves. They denigrate themselves and they deprive themselves from the empowerment they feel so desperately need to overcome. Instead of lifting yourself up and seeing the opportunity that Hashem put in front of you to be able to fight for truth and fight for your soul, YOU'RE BUSY TELLING YOURSELF, "I'm such a bad person. I'm such a sick person. I'm such a stupid person. I'm such a horrible person. I'm such a klutz. I'm such a glump. I'm such an idiot. I'm such a shmatta. I'M SO WORTHLESS. WHY? Look at what I have to deal with." It's the other way around. That is your beauty. That is your wisdom. That is your depth. That is your splendor. Dare I say that is what makes you godly. Because that is the path that God put before you. Now, when you can understand that, you could put it in the context of your soul, not put your soul in the context of your struggle. The question is not if I struggle or not. The question is, do I put my struggles in context of my spiritual journey or does my spiritual journey become defined by my struggles? And the answer to that leads to completely two different lives. In one, I put the struggle in context of my beauty, of my holiness. And in the other, the struggle defines me completely. In other words, there's nothing but me but the struggle but the negativity. And as a result of that, Yaakov and Esau really had two separate paths. It was always supposed to be that way. And both, in their own way, had that power to grow into spiritual giants, but Esau's spirituality would surpass Yaakov's. And that is why Yitzchak has a special place in his heart for Esau. And he wants to bless him because he knows there's something about Esau Esau's path that is that is uniquely moving, uniquely uh emotional, Uniquely, powerful. Because he has to fight for everything. There's nothing that he could say is a gift. Everything that he will have is called his own or her own, whoever that person is. And there are moments when Esau faces the abyss. Esau has to face the abyss. They say that one of the Russian politicians once said to the people, he said, "This is the the good sweet days of communism." Sweet, in quotes. He said, "I have great news for you. Yesterday, we were standing at the edge of the abyss, and today we took a giant step forward." Esau stands sometimes at the edge of the abyss. And when you look down, you see an infinite pit that never ends. Some people never stand there. They don't even know what it looks like. They don't know what the abyss looks like. They were always protected. They had a mother who protected them, sisters, brothers, grandparents, uncles, aunts, communities. They never even got close to the abyss, ever. I once read a poem of a Jewish poet. His name is was Zvi Yo'er. That was his pen name. Zvi Yo'er. And he wrote a poem about a certain person, about the great a great personality and a great leader. And in the poem, he describes what this leader does for his people. He said this leader stands at the edge of the cliff. And he sees down, but his shoulders are so wide and broad that he eclipses the abyss from all of the people behind him. So, they would never really be able to see what he sees. And as he marches in security and confidence knowing that with one tilt he will fall into the abyss. He never allows them to see that. He allows them to feel that life is safe. And that their their their their path has been trailblazed and it's clear. He will never allow them to see the 100 million decisions he has to make every millisecond in order not to fall into that space. I thought it was a very insightful observation. What a leader is, what he faces, and what some people will never even understand the person faces because he protects them well. Some people grow up with that protection. So others don't grow up with that protection. There's a beautiful insight of Reb Nachman of Breslov in Likutei Moharan. At the end of his life Moshe Rabbeinu speaks. And he says in one of the pesukim he says three words. U'mitachas z'ro'ois olam. Below the universe there are arms. Below the world there are arms. U'mitachas z'ro'ois olam. So Reb Nachman says there are two types of people. I'll describe both of them. You could raise your hand if one fits your description. He says some people are etched onto the planet in a very firm way. You know their shoes are like glued to the earth. They're just like solid. You can even see how they walk. You know what I mean? They're just like attached to the ground. They're very grounded and they never leave the ground. They're practical. They're like They're just They're like normal. They're like etched into the earth. I can't describe it better. And then there are people who they always feel like they're falling off the ball. You know, they're always falling emotionally. They don't have a place on the planet. They're always questioning their place on the planet. And so Moshi says me tahas royas I want. You should know you you're about to fall off. You should know that you could fall off because there are arms under the world, under the earth that will pick you up when you fall. But then he adds, which is classic Reb Nachman of Breslov, and it's only the person who lets go and allows themselves to fall that they can experience the embrace of the arms that will lift them up as they fall. Now, that comes from a person who struggled. Such an insight does not come from a person who felt protected their whole life. Reb Nachman of Breslov struggled. He struggled very deeply. He understood this, the arms below the world. Now, some people don't What are you talking about? What arms? What arms? You have to fall off the planet to experience those arms or at least understand what it means to fall off the planet. Out It's not one person Sometimes the same life you have a day as I a day as I. Sometimes you have this place in the world and sometimes you have no place. You feel like a part of you was taken. Sometimes a person holds on to something very dear and then it's taken from them. Or God wants it to be taken from them. And the person feels like amputated. And they have a very difficult void that they have to deal with. What does serving God mean for them at that moment? It means something very different than what it means for somebody else, completely different. It's a completely different path at that moment. And you have to be able to cut yourself some slack to know what the womb dictated for you. This is not about romanticizing temptation, romanticizing struggle, or romanticizing demons, not at all. Some people go to that extreme. I'm depressed, awesome. Now I could be a victim. No, it's the contrary. This is about empowering a person to understand how to grow from every situation, never to become a victim. Yitzchak sees this in Esau and he cherishes him. He cherishes him very, very deeply. Not only does he cherish him, he loves him. He wants to bless him. What then What then happens? There's a reason the text will not denigrate Esau. Because to say that Esau was born a wicked child is wrong. It's not true. And it's ungodly. He was not. He was born with terrible struggles, but not wicked. Chazal say Esau left the beaten track and went his own way. When when which day? What happened that day? Avraham Avinu died. Interesting. In other words, were the two events disconnected? Or maybe in the lack of Avraham Avinu's presence he lost that last anchor to teach him about his struggles. And one day Asaph wakes up wakes up in the morning, and this is what becomes his tragedy. Instead of seeing his struggles, his challenges, his ghosts as an invitation to intimacy with God, he sees them as a license to live a disastrous life. Instead of seeing his demons as a very deep spiritual calling to reach a space that is uniquely his. Instead of seeing, you heard that line? Instead of seeing his demons as a spiritual calling to reach the space only he could reach, he loses that perspective. He sees it in a way that is maybe more natural, let us say more natural, more superficial, more easy, more comfortable. And that is, this is who I am. This is what I want. These are my instincts. How long can a person fight for? How long do you want me to battle for a soul that is so indivisible? How long? And Esau falls. Is Esau a Russia? Esau becomes a Russia. But not because he gravitated in the womb of his mother to something, but because one day he stopped and misinterpreted the struggle and saw it as a license, as an invitation to an immoral life. That is the majesty and the tragedy of Esau. Which is why Yitzchak wants to bless him after this. Yitzchak says, I want to bring him back to that space. I don't want to change him, but I want to change his perspective on how he sees his own evil. That's what I want to change. I can't change I can't make him Yaakov, but I can make him Esau. The challenge, of course, is that Esau went very, very, very far. And it was impossible for him at that moment to see himself the way Yitzchak saw him. And yet, do you know where Esau is buried? Esau was beheaded and his head is buried in the grave of Yitzchak. Now, usually you don't bury a Russian near a tzaddik. Thousands of years Yitzchak is with Esau's head. And the answer, of course, is cuz Esau's head, Esau's source, Esau's origin, Esau's potential is as holy as Yitzchak's. The tragedy of Esau is that he is detached from himself. He is beheaded spiritually. His body is detached from his head. He's not living in his body. In other words, his inner, deeper self doesn't translate into his outer body and his outer self. There's no integration in his life. He does not understand that all of his struggles are really part of godliness. They're part of his relationship with Hashem. They're part of his avodas Hashem. And that's why the text will always remain loyal to Esau's inner story. And even after everything, it will not allow us to forget that here was not a bad kid. This was a misunderstood kid. And misunderstood first and foremost by himself. Which is really the most important thing. To expect that other people will understand you is asking for a lot. But if you can understand yourself, you're pretty good off. And if there's one more person, you're already very lucky. And if there's two people, be thankful. And if there's three people, then you're already a social butterfly. You're good to go. But I wouldn't count on that. But if you could understand yourself, phew. it's about So Asav's head is with Yitzchak and the text will make sure to be very, very sensitive to the other Asav. It's a tale and not THAT THE OTHER ONE IS NOT TRUE. BUT YOU HAVE to understand where that truth emerges from and have the courage and the sensitivity to trace it back to its original space. And that's WHY THE CHAZAL TELL THE STORY OF ASAV WHAT HE BECAME. HE BECAME EVERYTHING HE BECAME THAT WE KNOW. But the text will never take that away. And when you read the parsha, it wants you to identify with this story. It wants you to be able to identify with Asav. It wants you to be able to appreciate the journey of this person. And therefore throughout her entire life, Rivka never sits down by dinner and says, "Yitzchak, you're clueless." You think Rivka didn't know this? Rivka I'll tell you something very deep and this is what I'm going to finish with cuz it's very late. Here's a very deep Torah. At the end of everything Rivka sends Yaakov away, right? To go officially get a shidduch. That wasn't the real reason. The real reason is because Asav wanted to kill him. So the pasuk says I quote the pasuk, the end of Toldos. Vayishlach Yitzchak es Yaakov vayelech Padena Aram. Yitzchak sends Yaakov and he goes to Aram. El Lavan, to Lavan, ben Besuel Ha'Arami. The son of Besuel. Who was Besuel? Ach Rivka. Besuel, I'm sorry, to Lavan, the son of Besuel. Who was Lavan? The brother of Rivka. Who is Rivka? Aim Yaakov and Esau. The mother of Yaakov and Esau. Comes Rashi and says, "Aim Yaakov and Esau, any idea ma melamdeinu?" I cannot figure out what this teaches us. What is bothering Rashi? This is a very weird Rashi. Rashi is our teacher. Imagine the teacher goes to the class and says, "My dear students, any idea?" The kids would have a field day. That means it's recess. If you don't know, quit. Teachers don't like saying we don't know. I don't know how it is by the girls, I know how it is by the men. By the women, I know how it is by the men. God forbid they say you don't know. Even though most things you don't know, say it. They'll respect you more. It's another issue, but I'm not going to go there at the moment. A teacher once came to me, we were learning the same text, and he said, "How do you answer this question on the text?" I said, "I don't know." He says, "What if the students ask you?" I say, "I say the truth. I don't know." He says, "I can't tell that to them. I need an answer." I said, "Why can't you tell them you don't know? I do." He says, "No, when you say you don't know, they really think you know. But when I say I don't know, they're going to believe me." I said, "You're living in la-la land. You think your students don't know that you don't know?" They know that you don't know more than you know that you don't know. They hear how you speak, they know that you don't know. You're the only one who thinks that they think that you know. You don't know, and they know that you don't know. The only one who thinks you know is that you think they think that you think that they think you know. So, quit. Rashi doesn't have that problem. Rashi was confident enough to say, "Any idea? I'm sorry, I don't know." What's bothering him? What's bothering him is very simple. At the end of told us he's telling me that Rivka was the mother of Yaakov and Esau. It would be like in parshas of Russia, you tell me by the way, Moshe had a brother Aaron. Yeah, genius. We just learned about this a whole year. The whole told us we learned about Yitzchak and Rivka they had twins, Jacob and Esau and the whole story is about Jacob and Esau and the mother take Suddenly at the end when Yitzchak sends away JACOB TO LABAN, THE BROTHER OF RIVKA, THE MOTHER OF JACOB AND ESAU. WELCOME TO AMERICA. We discovered that Now she says Amy Adair, Mama Lamdenu. Now maybe you'll understand. It's very deep. When you read through partials told us you get an impression that Rivka was not a mother for Esau. She was a mother for Jacob. She took care of him. She did not take care of Esau. At the end of told us we say Rivka was not only the mother of Jacob. She was also the mother of Esau. Why suddenly now? Because you have Ask yourself your this question. She sent Jacob to her brother and he would be there for 20 years. He would never meet his mother again. She is so in love with her son. Who of you sends their son away for 20 years knowing very likely you may never see them again? And who do you keep in your house? The son that you hate, the son that you despise, the son that you loathe, the son that makes you meshuga, the son that steals, the son that makes you problems. ESAU WANTS TO KILL JACOB? SEND ESAU AWAY. Esau would listen to Yitzchak find a good excuse that they found a unbelievable opportunity to train him for the Olympics and for that he has to go to Sydney for 20 years or Japan to do Krav Maga, self-defense or Judo or martial arts in China for 20 years and then he'll win the tournament. That's what you do. YOU SEND THEM AWAY. Why did he she send Jacob away? So the possuk says, cuz she was not only Jacob's mother, she was Esau's mother. And she knew that Esau has one person in the world who believes in him. And that is his father. And she will not be the person to separate this son from his father. She knew Esau very well. She knew his challenges and she knew where he took those challenges to. She never sat DOWN WITH HER HUSBAND AND SAID, "He's a rotten apple." Cuz she wanted that the relationship between Yitzchak and Esau should remain as romantic as it was when Esau was a little cute baby. Knowing the risks, knowing the challenges, she was ready to separate herself from Jacob, but not separate Esau from his father. That's why here it's "Im Yaakov Esau." Now, I knew this. Rashi didn't know this. So Rashi says, let me explain it to you better. Eini yodea ma melamdeinu. I don't know what this teaches us. But there's a deeper interpretation in Rashi. And that is Eini yodea ma melamdeinu. Sometimes life teaches us to say, "I don't know." Sometimes life teaches us to say, "Ma." What? Not every journey is graspable. Not every journey that you have to have your brain wrapped around over. Not everything in your child's journey can you understand. Melamdeinu Eini yodea ma melamdeinu. Sometimes life teaches us to say, "I don't know." And sometimes life teaches me to say, "What?" And sometimes those lessons are the deepest, profoundest, and most godly lessons cuz they allow people to be in touch with truth. That's what Rashi is saying. Any idea of Amalek they knew. At a later generation, Mordecai would tell Esther the same words. Who me idea? In the Esther story she got the mouth kiss. Why in the world the base Yaakov graduate? Or by Srucha by Soda, I don't know where where Esther learned. I mean everybody will tell me where they where she learned. Why she has to end up with a Persian monarch in his bedroom to save the Jewish people? Mordecai says, me idea. Some things are not Al Pi Das. Not everything can be fitted in to our boxes of what religion looks like, what God looks like, and what truth looks like. Mot Sasi David Avdi, I found David and Chazal say where? In Sedom. Sometimes you find the deepest truths in the most unexpected of places. Have a wonderful week. This class is brought to you by the Yeshiva.net. Please help us continue the classes. Make even a small contribution at www.theyeshiva.net/donate.