Talking about Passover Customs, not laws.

It would be like buying roses for my wife for Shabbos. It's a beautiful beautiful thing to do. It's a gesture. Makes a woman feel good and similar types of gestures that build connection. But what happens if as a result of buying those roses, I am going to get into a bad mood, I'm going to get angry cuz I didn't have the money to spend it on and I was stressed and I had to run somewhere and I got stuck and I almost didn't come home for Shabbos and then a whole Shabbos I'm giving my spouse an attitude because I bought them roses. So I'm sure any healthy wife would tell the husband, you know what? Why don't you forget the roses? Let's just have a beautiful Shabbos together. All the chumeras and hidurim, a hidur mitzvah is for enhancing a relationship. It's to make a relationship so much more meaningful and so much more beautiful. But if it's creating anxiety and stress and it's causing the person to actually feel a lot of negativity, so one has to be very very cautious about that. I'm not going to say that a person should let go of all the minhogim of the family and all the chumeras of all the hidurim of the family. The main point is because you want to connect in a deeper way. You want to suck the marrow out of the relationship. I don't just want to make a checklist and say I did it. I go the extra mile because I appreciate the power of it. But if the results are the exact opposite and it's just overwhelming me and the whole Pesach becomes just one big negative burden, one should be very very cautious and very very careful.