Rambam Mishneh Torah: Hilchos De'os Chapter 2 - Q & A

the yeshiva.net [Music] now i'm going to take some questions and i know i owe you some answers so let's see what's going on here okay the story about the holy illusion now you asked what's the story i was referring to they tell a story that the holy spirit of religion once came to town and he was asked by a very affluent and prominent person in the town to come to his home and he said you know everybody all prominent and distinguished people always stay in my home but the holy original did not accept invitation instead he went to the home of somebody who knew was actually considered a very simple jew a simpleton and in fact even some questions about his year shamayim you know about his his fear of heaven and how scrupulous he was in certain mitzvahs before delusional left this man this wealthy affluent prominent man comes to him and says i don't understand everybody knows how religious i am everybody knows that i'm scholarly everybody knows that i'm a great philanthropist everybody knows that i'm very god-fearing you reject my invitation to choose a home of somebody who's morally questionable in terms of certain mitzvos so their helicarrier bisola russian looks at this jew he was a soul doctor so i guess he said what he said he said good question you ask and i'll answer the question it says in parties hashem dwells among the jewish people amidst their impurity so hazal says even when they're impure the divine presence dwells among them even when they're impure but the gemara says in sight and the rambam says is perigimo that somebody who is arrogant about hashem says him and i cannot live under the same roof hashem says i cannot the gamora says the apostles hashem called vale arrogance is is an abomination by god as the rambam says here it's like you you replace god trump says i cannot live with a balgaeva in the same home so the said that drew's house may have tuma may have some spiritual impurity but hashem says i dwell there but i'm afraid that in your home there's a lot of arrogance says i can't live under the same roof like arrogance she said i wanted to go to a home where the shrine is manifested and this was of course a way of explaining what the rambam is telling us here about the unique dangers of and blindness that arrogance brings and i should just say that arrogance somebody asked a question arrogance is sometimes very much associated with the other extreme which is insecurity in other words i have to be so arrogant because there's nothing there and i have to protect that endless void of the innate intrinsic sense of nothingness so i compensated even to myself with this bloated senseless pompousness so the person is really living with nothing there's no substance and that's what the arrogance is coming to protect and they sometimes do they they really live that way in other words that's where my brain goes to naturally that's how i live it's quite pathetic and it's quite miserable and you know one has to have really compassion for such a person it's i think another reason why the rambam says because when i when when i understand even the basic idea of what it means god exists god exists means that my creation has absolute meaning and purpose because he created me and it was not senseless so then i don't have to be arrogant because there is a core that exists but when that core doesn't exist arrogance often replaces it i'm going to address the other question why do you need a soul doctor the rambam said just go to the other extreme you're angry okay don't respond to anybody you're arrogant okay put on schmattas put on shmatus and sit in the back so you have a clear path just live and behave in the other extreme why does the rambam say you have to go to a soul you have to go to a soul doctor another question was do you remember what's the place of of analysis of psychoanalysis of of therapy of psycho of psychological inner work and all of this it's great questions and i don't think i can i'm capable of giving the authoritative absolute answer to this i'm just sharing some ideas that i thought of and hopefully it can trigger further discussion and i'm welcome to hear more from you and you could put into the comments in the yeshiva the yeshiva.net about this because certainly this is a very interesting conversation that moves on first of all the rambam believes that you have to have somebody you can be open with just like when i come to a doctor if i'm gonna hide the illness and say i don't wanna share it with the doctor i'm afraid you know what he's gonna do he's gonna take blood that's not good i have to go to a dentist and show them the teeth tooth that hurts and have to go to a doctor and show them the limb that hurts the same is true with a soul doctor the ramen is comparing the physical physician the physical healer to the spiritual healer you have to have somebody you can be open with i can share with him or her my struggles my dilemmas the issues i'm having with my temperament with my character traits with my behavioral patterns with my habits that's number one in parentheses a beautiful commentary of the te ferris schlemmer of slime over a dumps it says when somebody is a leper right the hoover la coin has to be brought to the cayenne the coin comes to him oh akain and the kind has to examine it and he gives an example it says the queen represents the person the person of wisdom the soul doctor like we say about the quran israel they're the teachers of the jewish people so he says when somebody is a misery when somebody has a leprosy physical or spiritual and emotional this is what the rambam says you have to go to a soul doctor you need you need a sage you need a rabbit you need somebody a mentor to be able to somebody who has wisdom spiritual moral wisdom to be able to help you that's number one another thing we see from the rambam is there's no such a thing i'm a victim of a certain temperament this is who i am my father had shrama my grandfather had shrama my zedan bubble all the way back to adam and chava how we're traumatized and therefore i rationalize and i justify my behavior there may be good reasons the rambam says it may be part of my genetic disposition intergenerational trauma you could study epigenetics for that it may be nature it may be nurture it may be what i was taught it may be what has been bequeathed to me it may just be part of my bodily disposition fine but you're not a victim you're not a carbon do not surrender to the false and erroneous philosophy in life this is who i am this is who i must remain for the rest of my life i will remain that narcissistic individual that traumatized individual that angry individual that arrogant individual that fearful or insecure individual that self-centered narcissistic individual you're not a victim the rambam says you're never ever a victim take responsibility this does it's not about blame this is about empowerment realize that you have the potential to reshape the pathways in your brain that is what the rambam is teaching us also how you see the primary focus here is actions change change your actions change your behaviors change your habits that is what changes patterns it shifts things in the brain now you ask a question what about analysis what about understanding this what about psychoanalysis the rambam does say we need a soul doctor why do you need a soul doctor i think there's two reasons it may be more but i think there's basic two reasons first of all the realm is giving here a general outline but every person is unique so the wise soul doctor has to help me figure out what are the types of actions and behaviors and habits and patterns i should be engaging in consistently for a significant amount of time to help me shift back to the middle of the road just to leave it up to the person who's struggling with the issue may be very very foolish i must have the advice of somebody who's wise and somebody who's objective and somebody who deals with these realities and matters to be able to guide me because it's such an individual question based on the unique dispositions and struggles and challenges and complexities of the human being because of the endless diversity as he began chapter one the endless diversity in people's perceptions and temperaments and traits from one extreme to another extreme there may be another issue here for me to be able to behave in this path that the rambam describes i have to be very very well aware of the type of person i really am and the type of person i aspire to be the type of person i want to become in other words my values have to be very very clear because when i'm behaving in this way when i'm going to the other extreme as the rambam says i'm not responding remember what does the ramen say i'm not responding to somebody who's cursing me and embarrassing me and i'm literally like i'm not feeling it it's like i'm not feeling is this a fake thing or a real thing is it a fake am i getting even more angry and then tomorrow i'm gonna go break his windows or i'm gonna hate him for the rest of my life then you're making it worse we call it repression this can't be with repression this has to be with clear awareness this is not the person i want to be and i'm acting in a way that is aligned with my true values that's a key issue and that's why i often need a soul doctor to be able to help me identify who i really am and who i really aspire to be to be able to see that these character traits are really aberration so therefore when i engage in this other extreme i'm not getting more angry and more arrogant and more furious and i'm just repressing it because ramen says you have to make you don't fail that you don't feel anything and really you're now simmering with such fury and such anger and the revenge oh is it going to be intense that's not going to work that's like a game you're making it much worse you know when somebody is silent but the silence is not coming from a choice and from a place of healing it's coming from a place of of deep despair and deep depression or deep suppression so that's where we sometimes need we always need a soul doctor and the soul doctor perhaps sometimes has to explain to me why i have these traits or where these traits are coming from so i should be able to identify the line i should be able to trace them back to their source and then i can actually say this is not me this is not the person i really am it's not the person i want to be it's not the person i aspire to and now my behaviors will be based on a true awareness of who is the person i want to be so now these behaviors are embraced by my inner core by my inner understanding of what a person is so i'm not going to become furious i'm just doing it because the soul doctor said do this this this xyz i become a robot and a zombie and now i'm even more angry at my spouse or at my child or at myself or at god or at the world or at the community i think this is important i hope you understood what i said there's a lot to say about this but i think this is this is some very very important ideas it is fascinating how much the rambam is focused on actions on behavior behavior behavior behavior because ultimately you know we see it in our world today how much analysis sometimes takes over people's lives and almost the objective is to understand my dysfunction the rambam says no no that's not our objective this is a safer i want to tell you how to live not to understand your dysfunction i want you i want you to get rid of your dysfunction that's the i power of guide you in your life next question doesn't the gemara say a message needs a little bit of arrogance it's an excellent question in the gemara there there's an argument and says i want you to have nothing and that's what it seems that the rambam learned the gemara that there are actually different opinions although there are different interpretations in the gemara when you look at the gemara there are different opinions and it seems like the rambam believes the right thing is that when it comes to arrogance even a little bit of it is undesirable like marshmallow on so it seems like indeed he embraces one of the opinions in gemara i should say there is an insight i saw from the tamar tsadek somebody put it in the comments of he was the grandson of the balatanya passed away tough reshave that's 18 and he says something fascinating he says that even though the rambam says you shouldn't have any arrogance the gemara means only atom what means he says a fascinating thing on on pesach when they brought the carbon aimer they brought an offering from from grain it had to be from barley barley sauer it was from wheat but here's the fascinating thing everything in the basemekt all the meal offerings were always matzah and that's why they were edible on pastel they're always mats the exception is to stay hallechem they brought two loaves of bread on shivers and that had to be from comets the only exception over there was we know matzah represents humility and muhammad which is the dough that's rising and inflated at ferments and it starts rising through the sourdough it blows up that's a metaphor for a certain form of self-inflation arrogance shivers which is mata were presenting over there they could be ashminished they could be a little comets and the the the idea of this is that the true talmud the person who is completely aligned with tara the self-inflation is never about the self when a person is completely one with torah then it's the exaltedness of tara the moment it becomes about my personal personal ego then it's not then it's my own ego is the idea that with tita it's the power of toyota when a person becomes one of tyra so it's the great kite it's the stalt it's the pride of tara but yet it seems from the rambam that makes no exceptions and the rambam holds that humility is the way to go to an extreme and he even quotes it from shrapnel who was the biggest perhaps the brings his proof that that's the because it was the but i think with those words also tells us what humility means humility doesn't mean that i am an essential worthless valueless insignificant pointless creature maishrabenu certainly did not think of himself this way on the contrary he knew how he indispensable he was to the narrative of history to civilization to humanity and of course to the jewish people as explained earlier in the in this year i think there's somebody brought avoid from the vilnigan i have become even smaller from all the kindness and all of the truth that you have showed me i crossed as jordan with the makgeolli of artesia now i have two camps it's just yakovino says i became even smaller from all the kindness and all the grace that you have showed me i became even smaller so that's this minute is the eighth path possibly in the eighth parasha in tanya in the gary sakaidesh in the sec in the third in the fourth section of tanya there's a letter that balatania wrote when he was liberated from prison in petersburg in you test kislev and he says that why did yakov he says because whenever hashem shows you abundant grace and abundant kindness it's a divine revelation and whenever divinity is revealed in your life hashem is infinite so what happens the sense of i becomes subsumed in the all-pervasive infinity of hashem so the more divine revelation the more humility because the closer the more i feel hashem's presence the more i feel the nothingness of my egotism because in the presence of infinity the i is only an extension and a conduit and completely one with infinity the more distant from infinity the more the separateness of the eye can emerge and come to the fore and assume an autonomous identity which is essentially false but in the presence of a revelation of ain't safe so then the i naturally becomes subsumed in the oneness of infinity that's why so maybe that's another homological interpretation of talmud who is really in touch with the divine energy of terrorism the ability to say mass the ultimate ability of bitter of humility as explained in in many sfarim especially in this forum of muslim siddhis so the talmud has this minus the eighth the eighth partial eighth passage okay next question beautiful questions oh this is a good question why did the rambam not speak about the humility and anger in the first chapter he said you have to go in the middle path and only in chapter two does he say when it comes to humility and um and calmness the antithesis of anger there you should go to the other extreme shouldn't have he made that exception in chapter one why does he wait till perig obeys to make this qualification that is a very good question the mufashim struggle with is the lesson beginning with the mishnah and other mufarsham it's it is strange because it's like in chapter two there says by the way those qualities i spoke about last week last chapter to go the middle of the road there are exceptions the truth is there's different answers that are given and i think after all the answers it remains still difficult to understand but it is interesting when you study the structure of the rambam chapter 1 he discusses how to balance your temperament chapter 2 begins with what that there are people who are sick and they have to go to the other extreme because they're sick the rambam now says ah now we're talking about people who have to go to the other extreme because they're sick and therefore if they don't go to the other extreme they're going to lose it because they have become spiritually ill so that says i'm now going to talk about other middays that you also have to go to other other extreme even if you're not sick mushroom wasn't sick spiritually and still you need to go to the other extreme that's the structure of the rambam but this question is a good question uh i have not seen a real satisfactory edge i've seen different answers i'm not seeing a real satisfactory answer i don't have a question i just want to tell you this was so good it's a teaching that can make me better and make life better yes this chapter of rambam is uh every chapter of rambam is a timeless timeless and priceless gift and treasure and this one too what would the rambam say about bullying i used to think i should just let it go now i think it's better to stand up since otherwise the bully may continue bullying other people well listen we always have to protect victims from perpetrators probably the best way to protect the victim is to empower them and teach them how to deal with the bully and there's a lot of research and literature that has been recently published about this in other words what's the best thing we can do for children who are being bullied for some in a classroom because the results can be devastating and catastrophic so we have to help those victims learn how they can find within themselves the best way and strength and means to be able to confront the bully and you have to judge every situation but one thing is important don't be passive about it don't be passive we first and foremost have to help those who are suffering and sometimes the bully is also suffering you know in hebrew the word for a bully is alam it's the same letters like the word elaine which is mute sometimes people who are muted they have to resort to bullying so we also should take into consideration if there's something we can do for the bully to help him or her really get their lives together because they're going to destroy themselves not only other people but of course first and foremost we have to protect anybody who's being bullied you spoke about two types of people who are morally ill those who don't know and those who know the ones who know hopefully we'll go to a soul doctor what about the ones who don't know they believe that bitter is sweet and sweet is bitter how are they healed i guess when you eat enough dust and charcoal you get sick enough to realize that you're sick the bible of mental health professionals is the dsm with succeeding numbers this gold standard lays out criteria for diagnosis the various mental illnesses conditions treatments medications etc the problem is insurance in rich people will pay for a professional and their services and meds and any treatment necessary only if there is a dsm diagnosis if there is an insurance code the doctor in the code is always the key to getting the pay fine but what used to be a character trait like shyness is now given a diagnosis a name this one is aspergers this one is schizophrenia this one is bipolar this one has dysphobia that phobia this eccentricity therefore it goes into the dictionary of illness there's an insurance code so the funds will flow from the insurance company and government to all those who treat the condition giving a title opens the door to flow of funds and pronouns the tendency is to always increase the range of diagonal diagnosis the range of dsm illnesses and so the system especially the mental health system to continuously expand before the early 1970s homosexual behavior was considered an illness then it was removed from the list i mentioned this only what would the rambam say about all of this the rambam speaks about soul doctors he speaks about mental uh spiritual illness moral illness he's speaking about a professional he compares it to a physical physician but is it really the same thing i know special needs individuals who suffer from a disorder where they eat non-edibles like plastic and paper i know this so i know about this illness that the rambam describes very well it's a very very important question you're asking i'm certainly not in the position to give an authoritative answer to this however i think one or two or three points would be valuable to make and that is giving things labels could be helpful but sometimes they're also not helpful because we put the person into a box and when it comes to issues of the brain the mysteries are so profound and so intricate or so infinite that even that which we know we know that we have only scratched the surface and that's why you'll see that the rambam is very careful about those absolute labels that you know put you in a box and it's almost sometimes could be an excuse for wrong behavior now you need a balance sometimes people are struggling with something and giving labels can be helpful in the sense of seeking out certain professionals certain treatments certain vitamins certain meds certain therapies there it is very helpful where it becomes i think non-helpful is where we quarantine the person and confine the patient into this model and that's it it's easy for me the doctor i don't have to research i don't have to investigate i don't have to tune into deeper layers i don't even have to speak to the person i gave a label i gave a diagnosis take your meds and leave me alone and that is actually wrong destructive because it's so often not true sometimes a person behaves and it's similar to another type of behavior that has a diagnosis but maybe the reasons are different maybe the conditions are slightly different maybe the remedy that this person needs is different it's so important to tune in to the individual unique journey challenges struggles opportunities and gifts of every person and guide them from that perspective and that's part of the function of a real soul doctor and it takes a lot of humility on the part of the doctor and a lot of love and being in tune to the person i hope i i clarify this a little bit the way i understand it who decides what's a normal character trait what's abnormal torah every community is it based on secular professionals the rambam clearly told us here this is a safer of toilets to say foreign is a blueprint for human life a blueprint that comes from the one who created the human brain and defines for us what is the best way to live how we can live a life that is wholesome and as a rambam says where you're happy throughout your life you actualize your life a life of balance a life of equilibrium a life of meaning a life of centeredness and a life of purpose not a life of extremes the rambam in chapter 1 and 2 describes the toyota's perspective which is the divine blueprint for human behavior and for human development the soul can only be healed by those are people of high spiritual standing doctors don't have to live healthy doctors sometimes they tell their patients how bad it's to be obese and they themselves suffer from obesity or similar qualification but the soul doctor must be a person the rambam says he himself is a person who lives by this wisdom lives by this very well said why does the rambam say that it's better for the body to be silent la matasi laguftiva sticker well ask people who talk a lot and a lot and a lot and don't stop and you'll see what it does for their body the art of silence is very powerful you know they say there are three types of people there are those who talk about other people they say small people talk about other people intermediate people talk about things and greater people talk about ideas whenever you're talking about other people it's probably not good talk stay away from it like we'll learn later about gossip and slander you know people come together they're right away talking about people analyzing this one that one and then there's talking about things you know idol chatter that says most conversations are idle they're not meaningful they're not significant they're not real they're not authentic and then there's communicating about ideas you went to a sheer you heard something you're working on something something in your life that you become aware of an emotional development character development spiritual development wisdom truth authenticity honest conversation real relationships that enhance our lives physically morally psychologically spiritually as the rambam says this positive talk is proper talk and even here he says be careful with words let the content exceed the external words can re people really next question and people really live up to this ideal never to be deceptive of anybody never to give people false impressions and manipulate them with a smooth tongue if the rambam says this is how we should live it means that we could live this way you don't have i once heard from the laboratory a great insight he said you know hashem asks of people to do what they could do according to their capacity he says let's think of this logically imagine you create a car and then you sell the car to somebody with the expectation that the car could fly not only is it ruthless it's also illogical it doesn't make sense and when the car doesn't fly you get angry and you break the car or you create a machine and your expectations of the machine are something that the machine can't do it simply doesn't have the mechanism to be able to do it he says it would be foolish why do you create something and then you expect it to do something that you didn't allow it to do it doesn't make sense he says it was a very practical way of saying hashem created every person every person is a machine more than a machine but a machine you have your capabilities you have your potential then he asks the machine to do something that it simply can't do it simply can't do it's not just weird it's ruthless it's wrong it doesn't make sense and it's illogical don't create me to do something that i can't do is a blueprint for life yes we stumble we fail we learn from our mistakes we're still going to get there i'm america's truva but of course this is something you could live by and i want to tell you a secret it's not when you start living this way it's not as hard as you think in many ways it's the easiest way to live you know why people who lie have to have good memories people who are deceptive always have to think 20 steps ahead when you are not deceptive when you're straightforward when you're honest when you don't lie you can actually live simpler easier smoother it's a much more tranquil life try it you'll see i'll give you a practical piece of advice based on this rambo okay every time in the day you say something that's not true even if it's a white lie or it's deceptive make a note of it either a mental note or write it down i'm an appointment and i'm late i'm late to a class and i call the person i say oh i'm stuck in traffic i'm not stuck in traffic i left my house late that's a lie see everybody does it it's still a lie that's not only grenavas das it's pushed to lie i lied i'm not stuck in traffic i left my home late you know let it do that but even in geneva's dos i'm making a simcha in a hotel i only have a certain amount of rooms that i can give to people you know what let me call this guy i know he's anyway going to be in miami i would love to have you at the bar mitzvah no i wouldn't i just know you're in miami so it's wonderful i can extend an invitation and you could think i'm your best friend and i know you're not coming what do you have a better deal that's called deceptions neighbors i didn't hurt the person i did i didn't even lie to the person well if i say i really love it maybe i'm not saying i want to invite you but it's a false impression it's like inviting you to my house to eat and i know you're not going to accept the invitation every time you do this before you open your mouth and say something make a note i was just dishonest and then start deleting this from your schedule from your patterns from your behaviors and you'll see life is much easier i know you know to yourself i only say truth i don't deceive i never lie i never not give false impressions what i mean is what i say what i say is what i mean this doesn't mean that i have to reveal every emotion to every person of course not there's a famous expression in yiddish a league in tarmin or zagan the members of manufacture sometimes it can be hurtful i don't have to tell every person everything i'm feeling that's not what the rambam is saying but the ram is saying is what you say should not be deceptive don't be an echoed a person who has this dual identity what is on the inside should come out on the outside what is that the outside should be a reflection of the inside in other words be a sincere authentic human being of integrity i am telling you it's a much easier calmer happier more tranquil wholesome way to live this class is brought to you by the yeshiva.net please help us continue the classes make even a small contribution at www.theyshiva.net donate