Parshas Shelach: A Prophet or a Basket Case? When G-d Says, It's Time You Trust Yourself

[music] the yeshiva.net. >> I want to welcome everybody who's gracing us here with your presence. Thank you for coming. And those of us, those of you who are with us virtually, please know that next week I'm away in California. So, next Tuesday there is no class. The Tuesday afterwards we will resume. Please share that with friends or relatives who attend. Next Tuesday there's no uh class. Today's class is dedicated [cough] by Leorasi in honor and tribute to her daughter Shira for a healthy and joyful birth and blessings with everything and in loving memory of the labba on the occasion of his yardite coming up on the third day of tamos gimmel tamos. May we internalize his love and inspiration and wisdom inspiring a generation dedicated also in my honor in honor of my birthday on the 29th of Sven. Thank you very very much. [laughter] I appreciate it with uh we really appreciate it Mrs. Laski and uh all the blessings to you. Today's class is also dedicated by Pamela Suffren in honor of Schlim a complete recovery for yoyel ben bluma and today's class is also dedicated in loving memory of basin in honor of her yard site ongiml the 23rd day of and thank you very very much last week's class about Uh has uh have we changed our standards of Judaism um in the name of love? Have we uh put uh our children before God? Really uh inspired a lot a lot of feedback [laughter] on many levels. But I want to share with you before I begin the class, I want to share with you two pieces of feedback that I got which were just very very moving. Okay. One was an email of a father who wrote to me as follows. I quote an email he sent me. I listen to your classes daily, sometimes live and sometimes I listen to the recordings and sometimes recordings from past years. They always enrich my day. But I want to tell you how much I appreciated the women's class on paraso last week. I listened [snorts] to it three times and I gave much of it over at my shabas table last Friday night. One of my daughters is graduating high school this week and heading to seminary in Israel next year. She's always had a hard time benching. She's not rebellious, but for some reason, benching has just been something that she has struggled with, and she has let me and my wife know that when we ask her to bench after a meal, it only makes her less inclined to do so. She doesn't bench. Friday night, she was very attentive when I gave over your class about how to connect, about what attachment is. Afterwards, she commented that the administration at her school would hate what I gave over. They would despise the class. She said that the idea that the true perspective of is the degree to which it positively affects the listener is clearly not the view and the philosophy that her educators follow. You rebuke and you rebuke and you say what you want to say and what you need to say. It's irrelevant how it's taken and how it's affecting the person. And after that, she took a bencher and she benched with us completely, singing every single word. My wife and I glanced at each other and smiled. We didn't say a thing. How do you know the man is serious? I made a donation to the yeshiva.net in gratitude for your p for your powerful words. It's a very very simple story, but it's not such a simple story. And it shows us how very often when I'm just busy expressing myself and my anger and my frustration, I'm actually distancing myself and my children from the deep spiritual goal that I'm seeking for. Another message, this came from a mother, right? If you recall, I read a letter last week from a woman who went to Kesha Navshi and said that she was very very upset and actually nauseated, especially when she heard about the woman who spoke about her girl who had a boyfriend and instead of throwing her out of the house, she invited the boyfriend into the house. What a desecration of Yiddeshkite. This woman reached out to me. She heard the class. I was blown away. Amazing, incredible, so true. Every word. I just want to tell you the end of the story. And that is that this girl today keeps shabas and this girl told me that now she wants to get married to this boyfriend Kadas Mosha v Israel. So those who put God before their children understand that if you really care about God, it's always about attachment and connection. Attachment is not in lie of God. Attachment is what allows the real God to be brought into the hearts of our children. I also want to mention one thing. We have here I see Mrs. Rita Goldstein and I want to express on behalf of myself and the entire class in the community our deepest condolences on the loss of her husband Raben. What was the day of the art site? two weeks ago Tuesday right on the 10th day of seven [snorts] ben Goldstein he was a dear beloved neighbor and a friend a true uh colorful personality for those who knew him one of the most curious inquisitive people I have met in my life who was interested in the development of mosquitoes ants engineering cosmology astronomy, geology, uh of course biology, besides learning and learning and being in love with learning, a very uh fascinating fascinating uh human being with a big soul, a big mind, and a big heart. Um we've grown uh close over the years and had very good times together and I am so so sorry uh for the loss. I actually went to visit him just a few weeks ago in the hospital and even though it was very hard for him to communicate. We had a very nice Fabangan. This was the last time I saw him just I think a week or a week and a half before he passed away. And I want to express uh our heartfelt condolences to you and the entire family on the loss and may Hashem give you all the strength that you need for you and your loved ones. And we are really very very sorry. Yeah. He will be missed. He is missed. And may his soul and his uh wisdom and his fascinating personality continue to be an illuminating presence um for all of his loved ones and for all of us and is for you and your entire family with revealed blessings. Amen. Okay. I'm going to share with you an experience that I had in my life. I was only 16 years old, but I could still remember the experience vividly because uh you know when we're young, we're more like wet sponges and we absorb things. And this was a moment that I uh I can't say I completely understood it at the time, but it was something that I knew that I'm hearing something. I'm observing something that is so profound and life-changing and it stayed with me over the years. This happened in the year 1989. I was 16 years old. It was Shabas just like this year. Shabas is right. >> Yeah. Right. >> Yes. Shabas. 28th day of 1989. Toughen me in the Hebrew calendar. It happened to be a day before my birthday. And uh I remember that Chabas vividly in many ways. I would say it also impacted me in a very profound way both intellectually, hashkuffically and emotionally. I grew up in the continent known as Brooklyn, New York. This is pre the mass migration of [snorts] Jews to Rockland County and Florida and so on and so forth. Right? Somebody's once said he wants to go see the Amish in their natural habitat. He goes to Pennsylvania. He wants to see the Jews in their natural habitat. He goes to Miami. Maybe not this time of the year, but this is before the mass migration. I grew up in Brooklyn on Montgomery Street where my mother still lives, 508 Montgomery Street between Brooklyn and New York. And every Jew I ever met at some point was living somewhere in that neck of the woods, whether it was in the 40s or the 50s or the 60s and so forth. The labavatba who lived a few blocks away came in as he always did shabas afternoon for a fabangan which was 1:30 in the afternoon an hour or an hour and a half after davening made kdesh on the wine ate a little bit of mazinus the crowd broke out in a song and then the rebba began his first his first address I was standing right there 16-year-old boy and uh a few minutes into the talk the rebu was so to speak threw out a bomb of a question as you would say in my mind's eye. could still see the this I could still see the moment hear his voice experience the dearing question and the passion with which he asked the question it was a very very simple question and I was surprised that I never thought about it you know sometimes the most simple questions you just don't think about because they're so simple they're so obvious I want to share the question that the labba shared that chabas and I could literally like still like I could still hear it in my mind's eye see it in my mind's eye and how mesmerized I was by the question you have it in your source sheet it's the first source sheet the opening words of parl [snorts] is numbers 13 chapter 13 these are the words very famous words spoke to mo saying what did hashem say send out I'm going to do the literal translation because the English is not always accurate which means send to you men. It's an interesting expression or send on your behalf. Send on your behalf people. Let them uh inspect, let them take a tour, let them range through and scrutinize the land of which I am about to give the Jewish people. send one person for each tribe. You should send every leader among them. In other words, take one leader of every tribe, which would be 12 leaders from the 12 tribes, and send them to scout and range and scrutinize the land. The next verse is very simple. Alpia Kulom Moshe sent them out from the Poran desert based on the mouth of Hashem on the instruction of Hashem. All of them were men of distinction, leaders, heads of the children of Israel, each of them. And the story continues listing the names of all the 12 people, the 12 scouts, the 12 mira, the 12 spies who went and their return and everything that happens in the aftermath of their return. Granted, Rashi is bothered as usual by one word. What does it mean? He should have said told Moshe send men means send like the word means men. By the way, the clea writes here the reason he says an says because God said if you ask me I would tell you to send women. [laughter] That's what the clea writes. If you ask me you should send women and do not send men. But you really want men. Well you could send men but I'm telling you send women it'll be much wiser. That's what the says like my opinion is different. Rashi says what's you don't you're not sending them to you. You're sending them from you. You're sending them on your behalf. Like what's the point? So Rashi says something very fascinating and he's quoting here the meds do this with your own consent according to your own. I am not telling you to do this. Basically, in simple English, I'm staying out of this. It's your decide. Somebody asks you, should I do something? And say, I'm not telling you to do this. If you want to do it, it's based on your own. You have to decide. I will not telling you to do this. If you want, I guess if you don't want, don't send. But don't mix me into this. And Rashi gives a whole explanation. The Jewish people in the background of the story which doesn't say came and said let's send people later when at the end of 40 years repeats the story of 40 years he adds a detail that we don't know here and that is you came to me and asked me to send them over here it sounds like Hashem initiated the whole process says you came to me So consulted. The Jews want me to send spies. Omar says, I told him it's a good land. I told him it's a good land. I'm taking you from Egypt to a beautiful country. Therefore, I swear that I will allow them to make an error. I will allow them to make an error so they don't inherit it. So Rashi says based on the med what's a very important word means you're doing it on your behalf not on my behalf. This is not a mitzvah that I'm telling you to do and you're fulfilling it. You're executing my command. No this is this is project.com. This is not God's project.com on your behalf. says now is bothered by a big question in it says Hashem. He sent them based on the mouth of God. That means in the whole what does that mean? Based on whose instruction? God. Alashem. Just like in the first. So what's says by the mouth of God does not mean he told him to do it. It means he gave him permission. Alp means with the permission of God's mouth. He didn't stop it. He could have said no. He didn't say no. He also didn't say yes. We see clearly that Rashi here is determined to explain that Hashem did not tell him to do it. It was with his permission but without his with his consent but without his instruction or commandment or even suggestion this would be a good idea. No, no, no, no. It's your and here the Rebba asked an astounding question and the question you know now I think about it's a very very obvious question and that is this is not the first conversation mob is having with Hashem this is parishu appeared in the parish we went through the whole safer we went through the whole saf of we went through the first three sections of midbar and in Each para mobenu is in the front, middle, center as the prophet and the messenger of hashem. In every single situation until this moment, everything that Mosher Rabenu did in connection with the Jewish people was basically fulfilling an instruction or a commandment of Hashem. If there was something that he didn't know, there was a doubt, he asked and he got an answer. most cases. Who decided he should do the 10 plagues? Who decided he should be chosen and go to parro? Hashem told him to go. 10 plagues Hashem told him to go. Split the sea. HASHEM TOLD EVERYTHING, every detail, every mitzvah. When he didn't know, he asked. For example, last week's par there's a story that they did. They made a carbon p the second year after they left Egypt and there were Jews who were impure and they couldn't bring the carbon on the 14th of Nissen and they came to Mosha and they said, "Ligorah, why should we lose?" And what happens? Moshe said, "Good question. I'll ask God." Imdu, "Stand here. Let me see what Hashem says." And he asked Hashem. And Hashem gave him an answer. And Hashem said, "No worries. They will have a second chance, a second opportunity in one month from now, which today we call Pesak Sheni, the second PES. granted either he got an explicit instruction and if not he asked and he got an answer from the day he was chosen back in schmiss to become the leader of the Jewish people every step of the way as they say in Hebrew every step he was given direct guidance mentorship instruction from Hashem what to do how to do when to do where to do. He was what we call what the Torah says an EV Hashem in the full full meaning of the word to fulfill the will of his creator in difficult times in good times before the exodus of Egypt afterwards before the giving of the Tyra after giving of the Tyra before the sin of the golden calf afterwards suddenly now for the first time in his life he asks a question and Hashem says Sorry. Sorry. It's not my cup of tea. I'm mixing out of this. This is not my business. Mosha should have smelled. This is trouble. This is not good. He should have run away from this situation like you run away from a from a horrendous catastrophe that's that's uh looming. He should have escaped and fled from this situation immediately. Just imagine if you had an instructor, a teacher, a life coach, a guide, a reba, a parent, a really great person who has guided you in every step of your life. And if if you had a question, they answered you. And as a result of that, you have seen results that were incredible, amazing. And then one day, you suggest something, you ask advice. Is this a good idea? Like, oh, no, no, NO, NO. I'M NOT GETTING involved in this one. You could decide yourself. Probably you would avoid it. Now here you're not talking about just a life coach or or a guru or a good teacher or a good parent or a great guide, but you're talking here about the creator of the world, Hashem. And in first time in their entire uh relationship, Hashem says something that he never said before. And that is I do not want to answer this question. I will not answer. And sometimes you know you push for an answer. TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK. I am not telling you. I am not telling you. Hashem doesn't say go be successful or no way don't do it. Shouldn't of this should should have this not sounded generated all the alarms in Mosha's brain smelling catastrophe. Didn't he shouldn't have not realized that this is simply a recipe for something really really not good? What happened here? WHAT WAS THOUGHT PROCESS? Now if you read through parl most commentators struggle with the story but they focus on another part of the story and that is how did the spies end up in such an abyss. That's the big question. It says clearly they were all people of distinction. Rash says Hashem told him take leaders. He took the leaders. In other words, these were not just rael rousers. These weren't lowly individuals. These were people the itself says anushim people of great distinction of renown chose them and picked them personally. He handpicked them each one of them. This wasn't just a go anybody goes. How is it that they went through such a transformation? Instead of returning and encouraging the people, they actually dissuaded the entire nation from entering into the land. They created mass hysteria and as a result, everybody stayed in the desert for the next 40 years. What happened to them? How did they get so overwhelmed by anxiety and fear that despite the promise and despite the the the divine involvement in their lives and despite everything they have seen on their own eyes just with their own eyes just a year before as they left Mitsayim they fell into such a profound uh abyss of denial of fear of dread of anxiety that's the big question that everybody asks and it's a great question And then there's a second question. How did the people fall prey to their panic? I understand sometimes it happens to 10 leaders that they panic. But how is it that the entire nation stood sat a whole night and wept and turned to Mosha and Aaron and said, "We should have all died in Egypt. This is the craziest thing ever. This is absolute insanity that we left Egypt. Why couldn't we just stay there and die? Let's go back to Mitsim than rather go into this land and be doomed. our wives, our children will all be killed that those are two very very important questions. But this was the first time I heard another question and that's the question on Moshe himself besides the spies besides the people moisha who's the hashem who hashem just said at the end of he told Miriam and bi he is loyal in my entire home. How did he fall in to this gigantic trap? How did he fall in to this situation? Didn't he get here the most explicit hint that one can get from God that this is something that can only create problems? Now you'll say, "Well, what do you want?" Rashi himself says that the Jews demanded it. The Jews said, "Send people." Great question. It says in clearly invar you came to me and you said, "Let us send people to scout the land." That's true. But nonetheless, Mosha Rabenu wasn't a coward. He didn't suffer from mediocrity and hesitation. Mosha was not an insecure person. We have seen how he stood up to par. We have seen how he stood up to the worshippers of the golden calf. We have seen how he stood up to every revolution and every rebellion. Later, we're going to have the story of Kai. Misha was not somebody that if PEOPLE ARE SAYING IT, I HAVE TO FALL INTO THE TRAP BECAUSE THEY WANT IT. SO THEY WANT IT AND YOU tell them raising this is not good. I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH. I'm not going to let you do this. Every good leader, every good parent knows. There are moments you say this cannot happen. This is going to be catastrophic. It's not like Mosha was frightened from what the people are going to say. If he would have been frightened and had to follow everybody's opinion, the whole thing though, his whole leadership would have been a disaster. Now he goes to Hashem and Hashem says I am not telling you to do this. Nonetheless Rabenu goes ahead and he does it. Especially Rashi says that Hashem responded to him and said I already said it's good. I swear that this is creating I'm giving them a room to error. So you're hearing here you're literally hearing so much what would seem to be such a negative prediction. Now you'll say well God could have said no. Okay, he didn't say no. But even if he says, isn't that enough to sound alarms in Mosha's head? Now, we have another instance. For example, Hashem did not tell Mosha to break the tablets. That's true. He didn't say, "Go break the tablets." Mosher Rabenu did this on his own, but Hashem did not. He did not consult. And Hashem said, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not getting involved in this here." consulted him and he told him there's things that Mosha DID ON HIS OWN. OF COURSE, THERE'S things Mosha did on his own, but Hashem did not hint to him that I don't want to give an opinion. Mosa felt this is the right thing. Even though there was no mitzvah, he went ahead and do it. There's no mitzvah to break the tablets, but Misha felt that was the right thing. And Rash explains why he actually wanted to save the Jewish people. It was like tearing up the tearing up the marriage contract and say, "I'm not sure they were completely married. There's no tablets to prove." And Hashem said, "Thank you for doing this. We have those instances a few instances where Mosha decided things on his own but Hashem did not tell him don't mix me into this I do not want to get involved in this there's also something else that's difficult and that is and are two parts of Yiddish there's the written there's the oral tradition now even though the ter is a commentary for we usually can find the sources of it in terab at least in a hidden way here. The lack the disparity is very very blatant. If you would wouldn't learn Rashi and you would just readim what would be anybody's honest impression who told Mosha to send these spies Hashem alimu speak to the Jewish people. I'm sorry. Hashem spoke to Moshe and said send on your behalf people and let them scout the land. and Moshe sent them based on the mouth of God. Anybody who reads it clearly you get the impression this was a commandment from Hashem. Rashi has a word. It says so from the we say there's a whole other story that's going on. Okay. But why does the give us such a different impression? It is so ambiguous. There's a very blatant disparity between the written text and the commentary of the text. In the written text, it sounds like this was God's idea. He told Mosha what to do and Mosha was just fulfilling his command like he did everywhere else from the word our sages deduced a whole different picture a whole different perspective. Now it's true that invar does say you came to me and asked me for it. So we see that the Tyra itself gives another story but it's interesting that HERE WHEN THE STORY ACTUALLY happens the Tory emits that detail and it just makes it sound like it was Hashem's plan. It was Hashem's initiation and the disparity between the two is so powerful. Even when IT SAYS ALI HASHEM, RASHI IS FORCED TO SAY ALI HASHEM DOESN'T MEAN hashem said it means he didn't stop him. Now usually when you say somebody did something based on the mouth of somebody else it means they spoke to you and you did it. Here it MEANS NO HE DIDN'T STOP HIM. So that's what rashi says obviously it happened that way. But how do we explain why does the Tor is so so ambiguous where in the text it seems like this was a complete plan of God and yet in the mafia it says no Hashem was actually very very nebulous very very uh uh um what's the word ambiguous extremely ambiguous not only ambiguous he told Rabenu clearly I am not getting involved yeah >> good question very nice question the first commandment from Hashem to the first Jew is right. Nobody says over there means if you want. I'M NOT TELLING YOU if you want to stay with knock yourself out. If you want, it's a suggestion, right? Like so rabbi once told his congregation, doesn't we don't say it's they're called 10 suggestions. They're ten commandments. They're not suggestions. I'm suggesting don't steal, don't commit adultery, don't murder. No, they're ten commandments. we all say as a commandment and Rashi explains why it says great question. Why does it say Rash says it's for your benefit? The exact opposite. So there are other ways of dealing with the word this only increases the question, RIGHT? WE COULD say could mean it's for your benefit, whatever it is. But over here we take the and we say it does not mean at all what it sounds like. It means I'm actually not telling you to do it. So it says in the text, I'm telling you to do it, but the word is saying, I'm really not telling you to do it. I'm allowing you if you want to really really do this. Okay, I'm not going to stop you. You know, sometimes in life, we hear a question and uh I'm going to there's an expression, right? My sin I'm going to mention today. As I was standing there as a 16-year-old boy and I hear the Rebba asking this question, he asked it with a lot of passion like a lot real lot of passion. I can almost feel the pain in his in his heart and the question when he said should have smelled should have smelled that something is so off and ran ran ran miles away from this in he was speaking in Yiddish and a thought creeped into my mind and that is I don't think there's going to be an answer that's going to be as good as the question. [laughter] You know sometimes you hear a question and then you hear an answer but it's like uh with all due respect the answer was much better than the question right we all know there are questions in life and pe uh I'm sorry the question is better than the answer we all know there are questions in life we sometimes seek answers sometimes we get answers and we're like okay but I like my question better you know SOMETIMES PEOPLE ASK WHY DID THIS HAPPEN TO me and some of will tell you why it happened to and you're like, "Sorry, but my question was much better than your answer." Right? In fact, probably the biggest questions in life, it's much wiser not to answer because the answers will usually fall short. So, when the Reb asked this question, I'm like, how are you going to get around this? Like, this is too of a good question. Like, just imagine you're for the first time in your relationship. FOR THE FIRST TIME, Hashem says, keep me out of this. I am not coming at this trip. You know when somebody says I'm not joining this. YOU WANT TO GO GO. I'M OUT OF THIS LIKE RIGHT AWAY. I'M ALSO OUT OF THIS. Mash is not his own person. He's not his own man. He's not have his own agenda. HE'S AN EVASHEM. HIS WHOLE mits is his whole reality is a servant OF HASHEM. YOU'RE OUT OF THIS [screaming] GOD. YOU KNOW WHO ELSE IS OUT OF IT? I'M OUT OF you come to a brilliant. come to a brilliant, brilliant investor, a tycoon, a money maggle, somebody who's really been successful in business and you offer him a tremendous investment that you're doing. And he thinks and he's like, I'm not going there. [laughter] And the guy has 50 years of experience. You know what? I'm also not going there. [laughter] I'm not going. That's it. Hashem said, I'M NOT GOING THERE. YOU ALSO don't go there. You don't express a cup in a cranking >> bet. Don't put in a healthy head into a sick bed. It's a problem bed. Just find another bet. And then the Reba gave an answer. He suggested an answer. It was a very very uh profound profound answer which I could still remember. And I want to share one point of that talk which as I told you has impacted me very deeply at least the way I understood it. The way I understood it the qu sometimes you can't answer the question because the question is better than the answer unless you reveal one truth that the question itself is the answer which are usually the deepest answers in life. when the question itself becomes the answer. And it's true in many areas. The greatest answers to our deepest questions only happen when the question itself becomes the answer. Meaning as the BMP once said it says it's a time of distress from her from it they will be helped. So the said from the itself from the question itself you find a salvation. And the name word s is the same letter as like soar. Sor means a problem. So means a window. When the challenge becomes a window. It opens up a vista to a new depth. That's a different type of answer. You're not answering the question. The question itself brings you into a place where like ah it's a different type of answer here too. The question itself is really the answer. Of course Moshe realized that something new is happening. He realized it immediately. It's the first time Hashem ever told us this to him. We don't have a precedent where Hashem said means it's based on your Mosha knew that there's something revolutionary happening right now. That precise question, why are you going into this? You realize this is new. This is suspicious. That itself actually provides perspective. He heard immediately that Hashem was saying something new that was never said before. But not only did that not not that did that not discourage him and strike fear into his heart on the contrary it [snorts] brought him to a very deep place of gratitude and joy there was a deep bliss a deep sim in what he heard. Why? Because Mosa perceived and as we will see he perceived correctly. He perceived correctly despite the circumstances, despite the aftermath that Hashem was actually charting a new path. There was actually something new being taught here. This is not just a story of catastrophe and doom and failure. There is that part of the story. There's the part of the story where there was a catastrophe, there was doom, failure. But like every other story, there's different parts to a story. There was also something very positive, very powerful happening here. In fact, this was an age, a moment of deep maturity, of deep evolution, of deep uh expansion, not just of tragedy and despair of Hashem saying, "Oh my God, I am out of this. How could you do this? What is this about?" When Moshe heard the words literally means this is based on your d your mindset your perception. You know what he heard for the first time? God said now I trust you. Now I trust you. You're going to make the decision because I trust you to make decisions. Let's understand what this means. There's two dimensions in a relationship. One level of a relationship is I tell you everything and you obey. It's beautiful. It's sweet. It's adorable. It's certainly predictable. It has so many advantages. But everybody understands is an inequality. I'm waiting for commandments. You tell me what to do and I execute. It's like a master and a servant. You say and I follow. But there's a much deeper relationship. It's also a much more complex relationship. It's a much more nuanced relationship. And that is I will not tell you what to do. You know why? Not because I don't have opinions. Not because I'm afraid. Not because I don't want to afterwards you should blame me. Actually, because I trust you. I really really have trust in you. I have confidence in you. which says into right says I have trust in you and sometimes Hashem says and I trust you you got this you got this I know you got this inside you you have an inner knowing in the first case I tell you everything it's great but you know why I have to tell you everything because I don't really trust you in the second case I know that you have the inner resources the capability to be able to figure this out. I trust you. I know that you know what to do in Pyavas. There's two fascinating expressions in the same Mishna which bring out these two levels of the relationship chapter 2 Mishna Mishna 4 in your next source. Who are you? The son of used to say and then first he says make that his WILL SHOULD BE YOUR WILL AND THEN HE SAYS NULLIFY YOUR WILL BEFORE his will. Which one is it? And the answer is there's both. There's two phases. There's two experiences. One experience is battle comes from the word to nullify. I surrender. I submit my will before his will. And that's a tremendous tremendous moment. There's a tremendous connection there. There's a tremendous trust over there. There's a deep authentic relationship. I nullified my will before his will, before God's will. But then there's something even deeper. means make his will your will. YOUR WILL ITSELF is an extension. It's an embodiment. It's a manifestation. It's a projection of Hashem's will. And the reason is because deep inside you're divine. Deep inside your soul is a mamish. So if you can remove your blockages and your cleo and your layers, you have an inner knowing. You know they say that uh there was somebody I heard this joke from my brother-in-law. Somebody was uh went into a Barnes & Noble store and goes over to the woman at the counter and says, "I'm looking for the self-help section." And she says, "If I tell you, it will defeat the purpose." THERE'S THIS SELF-HELP SECTION OF JUDAISM. [laughter] You got this. I trust you. You know why? Because you have an inner knowing. You have a divine soul. Of course, I have to work with myself. I have to be able to distinguish between parts, between my blockages, my kipo, my shells, my husks, my insecurities, my cover-ups, my brokenness. But I can also reach that space where my emotions, my instincts, my knowing, my feelings, my desire become a reflection of God's desire. THE PERSON DESIRES WHAT HASHEM DESIRES. We know this in every relationship. Take for example a relationship of a marriage. There are two types of marriages. There's a marriage where you tell your husband what to do and he's like, "Yes, dear." And what's next? and you tell him what to do and he's like, "Yes, dear. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes." You're thinking, "Havai, halai, hello. I've been trying for 35 years." Okay. And no, nobody should minimize the value of a spouse who's like, "What do you want me to do?" Okay. Takes notes. You ever see in uh Wesley Kosher the men on Friday and they're like checking their notes and they're like looking, right? It's like they're learning gam because they know that if they make a mistake and they bring BACK THE WRONG TYPE OF DICED TOMATOES, they will be diced with the tomatoes that they brought back. Yeah. And then they start calling. They start calling. And you're like, "Oh my god, I knew I should have gone myself. I should have gone myself." It's a bigger nightmare to tell him what not to get. Right? He's on the phone. The poor guy doesn't know what hit him. He doesn't know. Right? So we should [laughter] I'm talking from experience. I'm not Yeah. There was a woman. I was in Wesley C. A woman comes over to me. She said, "Maybe I can help you. What are you looking for?" So, I told her about foods I never heard about. And she helped me. It was amazing. My wife was shocked. I came home so fast. I didn't want to tell her there was a woman helping me. Binisha. >> Huh? >> Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's true. He wasn't talking about shopping but yeah different type shopping for the country. Yeah. No, nobody should minimize a relationship where somebody asks the other person what to do. They find out and they do it. But we all understand that a much deeper relationship is when we start developing there's a trust. A deep trust. A deep trust requires two things. It requires number one the ability for me to be able to really back off. The ability to foster independence, the ability to not need to control, which for some of us is not easy. Let's face it, being a control freak has a lot of advantages in life. Makes you miserable, anxious, but there's advantages because it seems like life is predictable, which is why some of us develop the template of being in control. It keeps me small, safe, and in control, at least in my own dreams and perceptions. I control things. I control outcomes. And of course, the one you get most angry at is God or the people in your life who usually do not allow predictabilities to follow through. So that's one thing. Surrendering that need to control. It's also something else. It's really trusting that the other person is capable, has within them an inner inner soul. And some of us lack one of these things. either I can't let go or really I don't really see the dignity or the light in the other. So this is a great moment in a relationship where there is real trust and trust I can't force you can't force trust can say trust me trust is something that you need to feel in your nervous system we all know or we don't know when you're feeling trust in your nervous system there's a relaxation you relate to what I'm saying yeah you ever have it once in a while right there's a relaxation that sets in you know when we talk about it's not an intellectual concept completely Not intellect is fine. It's ideas. It's actually something you feel in your body. There's like a bliss that flows through the veins and it's unmistakable like you can't mistake it. It's like an inner trust that it's not intellectual. It's not like I learned and says I should trust. Okay. Anxiety. Trust is something very very deep. It's organic. It's not where I am. It's something internal. It's like a a a playful child in a sandbox giggling. Your nervous system has this relaxed giggle and it comes from an inner place of trust that I can't impose. I can't force it. >> Safety I would say safety. >> Huh? Yeah. Yeah. Shi said from the word to be able to really really trust. So now when we speak about a relationship it's like when people are capable of having that deep inner trust in a relationship in Hashem we have the same two concepts one of the most beautiful prophecies about the time of isa chapter 2 your next source hashem says God says on that day YOU WILL STOP CALLING ME BALI. YOU'LL START CALLING ME ISHI. What's the difference in Hebrew? How do you say my husband? >> BALI. GOD SAYS, "NO, NO, NO. THERE'S GOING TO BE A GREAT DAY. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO CALL ME ANYMORE BALI. YOU'RE GOING TO CALL me Isi." WHAT'S WRONG WITH BALI? MY HUSBAND. BALI. >> HUH? SO, let's look at Rashi. You're going to serve me with love, not with not with fear. Bali. The word Bali is like the word. What's the master of the home, right? It's like the AT&T salesman who comes to the house, rings the bell. The guy comes out, says, "Hi, I can help you." He says, "I have a great deal here, but I'm looking for the master of the home." And the husband says, "Wow, you came exactly the right time. Wait here five minutes because this question is being decided in the kitchen right now. Right? Bali comes with balus ownership. The master of the home is says it's the love of youthfulness of two youthful people who are funloving and just want to connect with each other in a very very calm childlike way but in a beautiful way. is youthfulness. The vivaciousness, the freshness, the trust of youthfulness. The word ishi comes from the word you're my fire. Isos is connection, intimacy, >> personal. >> I ishi is also ishi is like it's personal, right? Is a personal. It's like from person to person. It's a different flow. So, Hashem says, "You're going to stop calling me Bali." What? You're God. YOU'RE THE BOSS. I know I'm the boss. But there's going to come a day in the relationship where there's going to be a oneness. You're going to look at me and say, "Ah, you're my fire. You're my passion. You're the love of my life. It's great to be here." I'm not like, "Oh, here we go again. The big boss is bullying me." And even if you're not calling it bullying, but ultimately there's an element of submission and therefore there's an element of fear. This rashi, it's fascinating. The of Lublin, the SE of Lublin was a student of the mag of rich and he writes that he heard from Anipoli, the Rebush of Anipoli. He says, "I heard from him that it says in Mishn at the end of the signs before Mashiach comes at the end of the gull before Mashiach comes." One of the signs is going to be a lot of daughters will speak about their mothers daughters-in-law about their mothers-in-law. Does that happen? Okay, it's a good sign. And then one of the signs is People will be repulsed by those who fear sin. Literally, everybody understands that the world will be degenerate, immoral. So, somebody who fears sin, they're going to be disgusted. It's going to be like WE WANT MORAL RELATIVISM. EVERYTHING GOES. That's the literal meaning. Says, I heard from that there's a deeper meaning. In a classic twist, he says, actually, it's a very good sign. There's going to come a time that the Jewish people will be allergic to a Judaism that's based on dread, on fear, because they're looking for a relationship of love and connection. And this is what Rashi says. Now, you would say, but one second is a mitzvah. There's a mitzvah to love God. There's a mitzvah to fear God. How could you be disgusted by that? The answer is there's two types of fear. As Famous writes, there's two types of fear. One type of fear is I fear you and that makes me want to be distant from you. It's like I'm allergic to you. I have no choice. I have no choice. You may be my boss. I need my paycheck from you. You're the teacher. You're the principal. You're the parent. You're the person I'm involved and I have no choice. I'm afraid of you and I submit. I surrender. But deep down I wish I can get rid of you one day. You know those people who are in a relationship but every time they walk away they whisper, "God, get me out of this. God, when am I gonna am I gonna say baraka? And even if we're afraid to say it, we feel it. And even if we're afraid to feel it, our nervous system feels it. And even if our nervous system has been beaten enough to be afraid to feel it, our subconscious feels it. And if you tell me your subconscious doesn't feel it, you don't know what you're talking about because you don't know your subconscious. But then there's a different type of fear. It's a different type of fear. This is real hashem. It's fear of ruining and losing such a powerful and blissful relationship. When you have such an amazing relationship, you're afraid to do something that will damage it. This is the most beautiful and I should say romantic fear in the world. This is too good to be true. I'm not going to surrender to a temptation for five minutes and ruin something I built with love, sweat, blood, and tears, dedication over 25 years. I'm not I am afraid to lose such a powerful connection. So said there's going to come a time where people will be allergic to a Judaism that's simply based on negativity, based on dread and fear. God is bigger than you. He's stronger than you. And wait till you see his gehenna. Can it beat people into compliance? Yeah, it can. Some people their yiddish is based on that. Some people their yiddish is based and you know what? If it keeps them away from doing terrible things, but to say that there is a bliss in the relationship, there's an ecstasy in the relationship. There's a regulation in relationship is this is my fire. This relationship gets me excited. It's like a husband and a wife when he's coming home in the evening, he's looking forward to open the door and see his wife or the wife is looking forward. It's like, "Wow, thank you, Hashem, for this relationship." You're like, "Rabbi, why? Which planet are you living in? And which house are you talking about?" But I I just want you to to to appreciate this because it starts inside of us. It starts inside of us. Is my heart expanding when I think of the relationship or is my heart actually becoming contrite and tight when I think of the relationship? That's what we say in the may God dance over you like the is dancing over his. IT'S LIKE OH WOW how special and it's it's not just a it's knowing that Hashem is dancing around you like the is dancing around the kala. He's, if I could use the word, obsessed in a beautiful way. Infatuated, completely immersed. Chapter 10 describes this type of relationship. So, you're not going to call me Bali, YOU'RE GOING TO call me ishi because the truth is that ultimately when the doors of perception are cleansed, everything appears as is infinite. You remember that when the doors of perception are cleansed, everything appears as is which is infinite. Everything is part of oneness. The true desire of everything in creation is the divine desire. It's not two separate things. It's not Bali, it's ishi. We are all channels for divine energy. We are all manifestations of divine energy. So in your deepest place, if everything is cleansed and removed, if you can get in touch with your core self, self with a capital S, if I could be able to distinguish between the different parts in me that are sometimes exiling me or protecting me or blocking me. If I can go beyond the hester, the hester, the anaster aster, the ano, the eye, which is a which is concealed. It's not two separate desires. There's what Hashem wants and there's what you want. When you start doing the work, you will see your deepest passion, your deepest desire, your deepest craving, your deepest yearning in life is the divine desire because you and him are completely one. Your all completely one. And then the Reb said these words and my heart literally melted when I heard them. They still melts. And he said when Mosha heard the words he actually felt like he wanted to start dancing. He was overjoyed. Why? Because he heard not what we're hearing. We're hearing get me out of this. I'm like I'm out of this. I'm not interested in this. I'M LIKE, "OH MY GOD, I'M also not interested in this." He said, "Actually, Mosha heard something very, very powerful, very, very new. But it didn't cause him to despair. It caused them to celebrate. You see, till this point in the development of the Jewish people, Yiddish was based on path number one. It was based on the path of submission and surrender, which is the beginning venishma. Because when I am stuck, when I am a slave, when I am in addiction, when I am in anxiety, WHEN I AM IN TRAUMA, WHEN I AM IN BROKENNESS, I do need guidance. I'm stuck. I do need guidance. I can't trust myself. I'm too blocked. I'm too dark. I'm too much darkness in me. There's too much craziness in me. Right in the 12step program, the first step is I surrender because I know how powerless I am. That's a liberating moment. When I know how powerless I am, then I can actually look up to the source for real power. It's a very, very important step. It's the ability to be able to say, you know what, I have a lot of cravings that are messed up. I have a lot of voices that can take me to very dark places and I have to be aware of them. And that's a blessing that I can be aware of them and say, I know that this is the wrong thing and therefore I'm going to submit. That's a blessing in life. It's a blessing when I can distinguish between the two and therefore understand the need for it. Till this point the MODEL OF JUDAISM WAS AS WE say we are your servants and you are our master. Bali balabas here moenu hears a new phase ink is unraveling where hashem says I'm not commanding you what to do. You're going to decide this with your own mind. I want you to choose. The way the Reb explained it is Hashem wasn't backing off. He was actually getting involved because to give people choice is a deeper form of intimate involvement. When I tell you what to do, it's actually a very limited relationship. It's like I'm really doing the driving AND I'M JUST TELLING YOU EXECUTE. ALL you can do is to be an executor. when I'm actually backing, when I'm actually withdrawing, it's because I'm much more involved. It's because there's real trust because I knew that I know that you could find the truth inside of yourself. In other words, our connection is much much deeper. It's an empowerment. When Hashem says, he's giving you a mitzvah. The mitzvah is I'm giving you a new mitzvah. You know what the new mitzvah is? Misha, trust yourself. That's the mitzvah. the mitzvah is then I'm not giving you a mitzvah. You got this. You own this. I know I can trust you. This is a new level of maturity of development. It's not just it's we are your spouse and you are a beloved one. We are your treasure. You are our treasure. There's an element of deep kinship of of intimacy, of passion. It's the ability to be able for you to know that God believes you have an inner knowing. You have a very very deep trust in yourself. In the first one, it's more bitten felt that at this moment, Hashem is inviting him and the people into a partnership into a camaraderie. It's like say Hashem sometimes makes us he makes us a partner in the work of creation in parish it says called God says what does that mean what does that mean how do you say that send him my regards in we say an amarti My dream is I see IN YOU THE DIVINE. YOU'RE CHILDREN OF THE I TRUST YOU BECAUSE I KNOW THAT YOUR INNER PERSONALITY IS SO RICH. WE'RE PARTNERS. WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER. YOU GOT THIS. YOU HAVE THE LOVE. YOU HAVE THE WISDOM. You have the infinite connection. YOU HAVE THE CONFIDENCE. Why now? Why here at the end of Bahala? At the end of Bahala, there's a moment where Hashem tells Mosha, "Appoint 70 prophets." This is right before the story. And there's two prophets, Elder and Maid, who are very humble and they don't want to prophesy and they don't want to join the group. And suddenly there's a rumor. Somebody runs to Misha and says, "There's these two new guys who are prophesizing, Elder and Maid." And Yeshua hears it. And what does he smell? rebellion, right? It's called a breakaway minion, a breakaway, how do you say it? A breakaway. It's like two guys who are not submitting to authority. So Yahusheshua who was a servant of Mosha, good servant, a loyal student says, "You got to arrest them. You got to incarcerate them. You got to put them in a base. Kella is a prison. Clo you got him in prison." And what does Mosha tell Yhua? He tells him one of the most glorious lines in the whole of Tanakh if I may say so. It's your second to the last source. Moshe tells Yhua these words. You're jealous for me. Really? You're jealous for me. Like these two guys are prophets. LET ME TELL YOU WHO YOUR TEACHER IS. MY DREAM IS I WISH Hashem would make his entire nation prophets and confer his spirit ON THEM. YESHUA, YOU THINK I look at these two guys, huh? Here's my competition. SILENCE THEM, IMPRISON THEM, SHUT THEM UP. Mosa says, Yeshua, you see these two guys? I would like another four million like this. I want another FOUR MILLION PROPHETS. THIS IS NOT MUSH incororated.com501c3 uh forprofit nonforprofit for taxes purposes. Huh? >> Very good. Nonforprofit. Very good. YESHUA. YOU KNOW WHEN MY DREAM WILL BE FULFILLED WHEN I'M GOING TO LOOK around and see everybody as a prophet. Everybody knows they're channeling GOD'S SPIRIT. THAT'S MY AGENDA. YOU THINK I WANT ELDER? I WANT EVERYBODY TO BE NAIVE. And this is what Yeshua had to hear from his teacher for him to become the next leader. This is what happened right at the end of this was his m and here in a powerful paradoxical way that's what Hashem tells me as the leader of the Jewish people. We're opening up now a new element, a new deeper spiritual core that you can exercise, a muscle that you can discover and that is the profit inside of you says he says now this is something you can decide. You should decide I am not walking away from this because I'm abandoning you. I'm walking away from this because the relationship must mature to a much much deeper place. So is overwhelmed with excitement. This is ultimately the purpose. The purpose is I want to dwell inside of you, in your heart, in your instincts, in your nervous system, IN YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS. THAT'S WHERE IT'S AT. THAT'S WHERE IT'S AT. OF COURSE, WE need submission. Of course, you need ble. Of course, we're human. and we have a and all these things but ultimately it's now here's the big glaring question you're making it this so beautiful Rabbi why we know the end of the story this was like a national disaster is that your question no even a better question go ahead >> beautiful yeah the whole story of pesi is really that that's why this comes after bal It's people who didn't submit. They were impure. They couldn't do the pes. They came to said, >> "Yeah, it says and they were that's you're saying an in both cases and they say and hashem says, you know what, they're right. They create a new pes. They literally created a new holiday, a new pes, which is fascinating. A month later, you can bring a carbon pes." Then Moshe in the same parish expresses his desire that everybody becomes prophets. And that's essentially what Mosher Raenu is hearing over here. He's hearing this tremendous tremendous powerful powerful ability for transformation in the deepest sense of the word. Now what happens? So Moshe decides, Hashem said, "I trust you." And he trusted it. He trusted him and he decided. Now look at the end of the story. Like the whole end of the story defeats the entire premise. IT'S LIKE LOOK WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TRUST PEOPLE. I ASKED THEM TO MAKE COPIES. HE COULDN'T EVEN MAKE THE COPIES STRAIGHT. THEY CAN'T EVEN CHANGE A LIGHT BULB. You know, people who don't trust anybody to change a light bulb because it cracked. So, you fix the door knob. You Alain Alain Alain Ala Ala. I do everything yourself. You're a super SUPERWOMAN COMPETENT. JUST DON'T delegate to anybody ever and everything will come out impeccably and flawless. The only problem is you're very uptight because of it. SO WHAT HAPPENS? WHAT HAPPENS HERE? IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE it seems like the DEFEAT OF WE TRUST it and the whole thing ends up as a disaster. Better not to trust. But let's go one step further. And here this story becomes so nuanced because it tells us exactly what it really means to trust yourself. You know, we must look at this in a very very sensitive and delicate way. Should people trust themselves? Let's face it, many people growing up in a religious community have learned very early on never ever to trust themselves. In fact, I sometimes receive letters from people who accuse me and say, "Your classes are encouraging people to trust themselves." And that's bad news because they're going to make the wrong decisions. They're going to walk out on people they should not walk out on. They are going to become narcissistic, selfish, self-absorbed. Don't let people trust themselves. Tell people there's a higher authority telling you what to do at every moment. It gives them anxiety. BETTER ANXIETY AND DO THE RIGHT THING than serenity and wreak havoc. And we know there's other philosophy. This is sometimes what people feel. Yeah. >> There's a prerequisite to trusting yourself and identity and knowing who you are. But the first one is missing. The second one is >> very good. You can trust yourself if you know who you really are. But the person who wants to find a way to trust themselves can sometimes be callous AND SAY, "AND NOBODY'S GOING TO TELL ME who I am cuz I know who I am better than everybody else who wants to beat me into compliance." and they're going to tell me who I am. Nobody's going to tell me who I am. These are important questions and that's why we have to see exactly the continuation of the story because that becomes the litmus test of what it really means to trust yourself and what it does not mean. What happens in the continuation of the story? Mosha is told by Hashem, make a decision. Is there room for error? Yeah. When Hashem said, there's room for error, he didn't get scared. Of course, whenever you make a decision, there's room for error. I'm not God. If you're trusting my decision, I'm making a decision. I may make a mistake. And yet, yet I know in my own life for many many years I didn't trust myself. Many years I didn't trust myself. I still struggle with it. But I realized recently that if I have an inner knowing, I would rather do something and then say to myself, I made a mistake. I'm sorry. I learned a lesson. then my entire life never trusting myself and not being me, not just being a copy, literally imitating others and never making a mistake because it's always their mistake. There's we sometimes in life we confuse confidence with certainty. It's not the same thing. Confidence doesn't mean certainty. Nobody has certainty. Confidence is despite certainty. Of course, I try. I want to know. I want to know the variables. I want to know the facts. Of course, I don't want to be blind. But confidence also means that tomorrow I could say I made a mistake. I learned a tremendous lesson. That itself is an opportunity for growth. I'm not looking forward to make the mistake. But that is part of the process. When Hashem TELLS MISHA, I SWEAR TO YOU THAT THIS IS ROOM FOR A MISTAKE. Of course, that's what is you got this. And then the question is what I do with my mistake. Do I become defensive? Do I cover it up? Do I start lying? That's the lack of confidence. is the ability to be able to say, "Okay, this was a humbling experience and I'm going to grow from this." But at least there's somebody to grow from. There's somebody who is a reality or there's somebody who's an entity. It's not somebody who's simply just a copy of everybody else. Like somebody once said, "We're all born originals, but many of us die as copies." And if I'm a copy, nobody can ever BLAME ME. I JUST COPIED YOU. I just copied you. RIGHT? IT'S A BEAUTIFUL THING TO BE A COPY, but it's very pathetic. But you can never blame the copy. The copy is not the original. Yeah. Somebody once said, "IN OUR HOUSE, WE only ate leftovers. We're still looking for the original. We're still looking FOR THE ORIGINAL MEAL THAT OUR MOTHER MADE." RIGHT? IF I'M A COPY, YOU CAN NEVER BLAME ME. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM THE COPY? I WAS JUST COPYING THE ORIGINAL. GO TO THE GUY WHO MADE THE ORIGINAL. THERE'S something very safe in being a copy. [laughter] You stand up, I stand up, you sit down, I sit down. And sometimes in life, it becomes a tremendous template. We walk around copying the world. And those of us who are brilliant know the cues right away. We understand how to say it. We look around and we learn from other people what it means to be normal. Anybody does this ever? We learn from other. Oh, this is normal. Okay, she looks like a normal woman. Little do you know what's going on in her life. But okay, she looks LIKE A NORMAL WOMAN. LET ME JUST COPY HER AND I'LL ALSO BE A NORMAL WOMAN. And my whole life I'm just trying to be normal based on somebody that is normal like I'm a frog. But could I actually learn who I am? trust myself, make a mistake and take responsibility and say no, this was not a copy, but I was being sincere. I was being authentic. I was being loving. I was being openhearted. I am not God and I'm learning and I'm growing. You'll see the difference in that. Now, what happens here in the story of Mosha? He sends the spies and he gives them a mission. What's the mission? The mission is I want you to give us back a report of the nature of the land. And the mission is to be able to figure out what is the best way to enter into the land to conquer the land to settle the land. What's the what are the situations? What are the circumstances of the land? That was the mission. That was the mission. That's what I appointed you to do. Give us a report of the nature of the land and what is the best, most effective, most strategically sound way to get into this place. What happens? Something happens. They come into the land and they're overwhelmed by what they see. The grander of the cities, the fortresses, the walls, and the thing that impresses them and overwhelms them most is the giants. The giants. And they're struck with tremendous fear. THEY COME BACK AND what do they say? There's two lines that they say that give us now the full picture. If you look at the last >> [snorts] >> The people who went up, the 10 spies who went up with the other two, Yeshua and Khaliv, who came back with a positive report. But these 10 people, what did they say? We can't. We can't. We're incompetent. We can't because the nation living in the land of Kanan is stronger than us. And really means stronger than he as Rashley says from Kazal. It means even stronger than God. When we were there we saw the nefilm means those who FELL FROM HEAVEN. BANAN THE CHILDREN OF GIANTS FROM THOSE NEFILM. The last time we heard the word nephilim is at the end of parish beraceious the generation pre the flood was filled with nefilm. It's almost they're making that association for the Jewish people. This is going to be a situation similar to the flood. In our eyes, we we saw ourselves as grasshoppers. When we LOOKED AT OURSELVES IN contrast to the people, we were grasshoppers in our own eyes. Imagine you look in the mirror. This is before France Kafka metamorphosis. You look in the mirror and you see a grasshopper. And then they add one more thing. They also saw us that way. Interesting. You hear what they're doing? THEY'RE NOT ONLY TALKING ABOUT THEMSELVES. I LOOKED AT MYSELF. HERE'S A GRASSHOPPER. AND by the way, when you look at me, I see that you see a grasshopper. Is that true? YOU SEE A GRASSHOPPER. The Gmorra says they WERE LIARS. HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT they were thinking? [laughter] Huh? Yeah. Yeah. How do you know what they were thinking? The med says, "Hashem said, actually, when they looked at you, they said, you're malim you're angels." That's what they said. All you can see is that they're grasshoppers. YOU WENT TO THE LAND TO GIVE A MEASURE OF THE LAND. THEY ENDED up giving a measure for themselves. YOU WERE SENT ON A MISSION TO FIGURE OUT THE LAND. YOU CAME BACK SAYING, "I learned for the first time. I'M A GRASSHOPPER. NOT ONLY AM I A GRASSHOPPER, and I know it, you all know it. I KNOW THAT WHEN YOU WENT HOME TO DINNER LAST NIGHT OR YOU'RE GOING TO GO TO DINNER AFTER THE CLASS and you're going to say, "Right, why is a grasshopper?" Are you? Are you? That line, that line tells you the whole story. And it's so important to understand what happens here because Mosher Raenu never told them to decide whether they're going to solo. They're not going whether they can or they can't. That was not the the mission was not if the mission was how we're going into the land. This is our destiny. The creator of the world sent us here. THAT'S NOT UP FOR QUESTION. We're sending you to FIGURE OUT WHAT'S THE BEST WAY TO DO IT. HOW, NOT IF, NOT WHETHER. At some point, they changed their own mission. Our mission is not how. Our mission is if. And they decided we can't. They come back lo. We're grasshoppers. Grasshoppers can't defeat. Sorry giants. It's not going to work. It's like a colony of ants decides to stage a rebellion against humanity. Like, you got to be foolish. It's not going to happen. Yeah. Imagine President Roosevelt sent General Eisenhower to Berlin to figure out how to defeat Hitler and he comes back and he says, "There's no way to defeat Hitler. We're not. It's impossible. America, Britain, the Allies, the Soviet Union have to all surrender TO ADOLF HITLER. WE CAN'T HAPPEN. What happened at that moment was the mira extricated themselves from being the ofenu. They saw themselves in a new way. They were not his emissaries anymore. If I send on a certain mission and deviates AND SAYS THERE'S ANOTHER MISSION, YOU DON'T SAY ANYMORE. You're like the person who sent YOU WHEN YOU ARE THEIR WHEN YOU'RE DOING THEIR WORK, WHEN YOU'RE AN AGENT representing their goal, their mission, their agenda. You're doing it in your own way, with your own mindset, with your own strategies, with your own initiatives and instincts. But if you decide you have a different mission, opposite of Moshenu's mission, they left that identity. They can't was now. This was not anymore the plan, the vision of Mosha. They had a new plan, a new dream. Mosha's was ali their had a completely completely different agenda. So now now we bring it back to us [sighs] and say how do you know when you trust yourself? How do you know when you can trust yourself? And here we see both sides in the story. Hashem wants people to trust themselves very deeply. You're divine. But the moment you're feeling like a grasshopper, [snorts] the moment you're projecting that into other people's minds, you think I'm a grasshopper. The moment what I'm feeling inside my bones is, I can't. This is impossible. There's no way I can do this. There's no way. It's impossible. There is this spear. We're going to die. Our children are going to die. We're going to be defeated. We're going to be destroyed. That's the moment I know that other voices, more external voices are taking over. So here's the deal in life practically. How do you know when you have an inner knowing and you say, you know what, I can trust this. I can go with this. And [snorts] the answer is first let's see how you know not to trust. If what's being communicated is something with a lot of fear. There's a lot of fear. There's a lot of anxiety. There's a lot of urgency. There's anger. there's negativity. There's the need to control. Then usually these are voices that are coming from survival templates, defense mechanisms, coping mechanisms that we developed over life in order to be able to survive in a very very dark world. I need to control you. I need this outcome. If you are feeling the voice of your divine soul, this is what you're going to feel. calmness, regulation, openheartedness, love, a certain amount of joy, bliss, and connection. It says in we say it every day. In Hashem's space, there's confidence and there's joy. I may have a certain vision for my family. I may disagree with my wife about something. I may disagree with my husband. I may feel something strongly about my children, about my work, about a certain relationship going onward, about certain decisions I need to make in my life. Sometimes I just want other people to decide. You tell me. I go to experts. Some people their whole life they're going to experts, but sometimes God says, I hate to break this to you, you're going to be the expert. You're going to be the expert. This is you. You have this. I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING. I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING. I'M A GRASSHOPPER. OKAY, SO we got to work on this. The moment I'm feeling disregulated, there's like an urgency. I have to get it done right now. I have to get it. I feel like I have to manipulate. I have to exploit. There's a transactional relationship. How do I get it my way? This is usually coming from a defensive place. This is coming from a posture that is insecure. It's not coming from a part of me that is literally in flow with Hashem. Because when I'm in flow with Hashem, I don't have to be defensive. I don't have to get angry. Why am I getting angry? You're not threatening me. If my wife's different opinion or my husband's different opinion is threatening me, I'm in a place of ego or insecurity. This is so important. Somebody could tell me something and I feel differently, but I don't have to be angry at you. I'm in flow. If I am angry at you, if you're triggering me, that's because you're triggering a wound. If I was in divine flow, you're not triggering me. I could say, you know, I see it very, very differently. And with a very open heart and a very loving space, I said, "This is what I really feel I need to do and should be done." And I trust God. And if I really made a mistake, I know I did what I could with my heart and I could fix to the best of my ability. There's a calmness the moment IT'S URGENT RIGHT NOW. RIGHT NOW. AND YOUR nervous system knows that you're anxious. Don't call this divine flow. This is not flow. This is we have animal consciousness, a nepha bahamas like it says in Tanya that learns to survive and develops modalities and templates and coping mechanisms that allow it to navigate a world. And I have to be able to say that's where I am. I'm anxious. I'm overwhelmed. I'm a grasshopper. You feel like a grass. What does it mean? You feel like a grasshopper. What does that mean? It's a very visual say of I feel like no control. I feel so small. I feel defeated. I can't do this. So now I'm coming from a place of despair, of helplessness. That's not a place of divinity. It's not a place of flow. This doesn't mean it's not a crisis. It may be a crisis. And if it's a crisis, I may not not be in the mode where I can even look at myself, where I can even make any decision. And we have to respect that. And if I make then decisions, I can't blame and God because what you want to trust is your truth, your authenticity. Those of you who have done inner work know that when the blockages are removed. There's a self that comes out that is very holy. It's very sacred. And there's deep regulation and calmness there. There's no agenda. You don't have to get angry at anybody. And you're not overwhelmed. You're present. And there's a lot of trust. Because when you're in flow with the source, you know that ultimately everything is source. Anoid moade. There's trust. And when there's trust, I could trust also the trust inside of myself. But when I'm starting to what are you going to say and what are you going to say? I'm busy with how people are going to think of Y why Jacobson what's this one going to say and how this and oh whoa whoa whoa whoa this is not inner knowing [laughter] this is simply simply terrible pressure that we live with this is not this is not you now I have to say you know what I'm very I'm I'm in a difficult place now it's so when Hashem tells trust yourself it's not WE DON'T GET ADVICE ANYMORE if there's an arrogance In this you lost the plot. Anybody who walks around I used to ask people advice but now I don't ask anybody like the guy who told his wife I never made a mistake in my life. He tells his wife. You find that funny right? His wife didn't find it funny. SO SHE SAYS NEVER. HE SAYS YEAH ONCE I MADE A MISTAKE. What was it? She's excited. He says well once I MADE A MISTAKE. WHAT WAS IT? And he says I thought I made a mistake. You get it? I have an inner knowing and therefore everybody around me is miserable. Well, I told you somebody sent me a clip before pes he says the meaning in our family is that it's not a mitzvah to be anxious on pes but it's a mitzvah to make the people around you anxious right if I'm walk if I'm walking he says that's the meaning in our family some people have a minute to themselves and some people make sure everybody around them is to remind them that it's if this comes across and therefore what other people think I don't care I have the inner knowing becomes an arrogant expression of insecurity this is not inner knowing. That's why you have to look is this inner knowing bringing the people who are closest to you closer to you or further than you. When suddenly you're a hero to the world but a villain to your own children, you have to ask yourself what's happening. If you become an enlightened spirit to the whole world but to your own spouse who's a good person, there's suffering, there's there's this there's pain, what's happening? These are important litmus tests. When there's an element of superiority or judgmentalism, that's not when I'm a grasshopper or I'm seeing what other people are thinking about me or my conclusion is there's distress, this urgency, this anxiety, this lack of trust and calmness and joy and bliss then and this is a very very sensitive duality in every single person and we fluctuate we vacasillate. Now it's important to understand that is why the terrorist says Hashem told Mosher Rabenu to do this. When Mosha said he's doing this as a betrayal of God the greatest vote of confidence that God can give you is to tell you you do it. THAT IS MY COMMANDMENT to you is not abandoning God. HE'S NOT LIKE OH MY GOD I'M STAYING OUT OF THIS. THAT'S WHAT HE SHOULD SAY AND INSTEAD HE DOES THE OPPOSITE. that he rebelss. This itself was a mitzvah. Belief in yourself is a mitzvah. IT'S A VERY VERY POWERFUL MITZVAH, BUT IT'S A divine mitzvah. It's not a mitzvah of arrogance. It's not a mitzvah of promiscuity. It's not a mitzvah of of dis disregulation. You also see if you go to the of parl Yeshua 40 years later sends two spies to before the Jews enter the land. And everybody wonders, Yahushua, you saw what happened. you saw the disaster. Why are you REPEATING IT AGAIN? DON'T DO THIS. NOW, IT HAPPENS TO BE IT WORKS OUT WITH those two spies. It works out doesn't say who it was say it was and they met. We did once a whole class with the very fascinating with the rope and the window and the cord and the flax. But the question is why you going into this place Yeshua? YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? YOU CAME BACK UNSCATHED. THE OTHER 10 SPIES created a disaster. [snorts] But the truth is he understood that after 40 years the refinement process was profound enough that now he could trust the spies. So he didn't learn from the story to say we're NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN. EVERYBODY WILL JUST BE A ROBOT. I don't do anything on my own. He learned [snorts] from the mistake of what happened and he gave them the right instructions to be able to do it. So make sure that your leaita is based on your divine connection, not on an ego, not on an insecurity, not on a lack of regulation. Now here, it's a fascinating thing because when does Hashem tell this to Moshe? Right before they're ready to go into the land of Israel. Because here life is going to change in the desert. In many ways, they were in the bosom of God. They were protected. Now they're going into a land. They're going to live with nature. There's going to be rain and agriculture and an army. So the preparation for that is if you want to go into that space you have to be able to trust yourself. And now here we see also something very very fascinating and that is the keeps on saying it explicitly doesn't tell us that it was Mosha's own idea. It seems like it was Hashem's idea, but now we can appreciate it because what Hashem is really communicating to us here is that the mitzvah to be able to go into yourself is as powerful as the mitzvah to be able to surrender. They're both mitzvah. Even though one has a very very different format, one has a very very different layout. And as they're about to go into, they need to learn about this. They need to learn about this. But they need to learn that there's of Hashem there of there's a very big difference. The moment my independence takes me to a space where I can't go into it's over. I'm done. My life is dead. I'm going to die. Everything is worthless. Everything is hopeless. Now there are other voices of darkness that are taking over. You don't have to trust every single voice. Life is about distinguishing. That's what inner knowing is. I could look into my heart and say, "You know what? I am now overwhelmed. Yeah, I am very disregulated. I am anxious. I am angry. I would like to punch somebody in the nose. I would like to break windows. I would like to yell and scream. I am losing it." And at that moment, I'll say, "Don't decide to send anybody." Now, okay, listen. Ice coffee. Okay. Salt bath, massage, stretch, take a walk, or the best advice is go to sleep. Gay schluff, just go to sleep. Okay, this is not a time for the dka because you preffrontal cortex is offline. You are in your amygdala. You are in your limbic brain, which is fine. You need sleep. It's fine. I have to be able to distinguish those voices. Can I feel inside of me? The Gomorrah says in Mosha says to the Jewish people, what does Hashem ask of you only to fear him? So the Gmorrah says really only. SO SAYS IT'S A small thing asks the Tanya chapter 42 for Mosh. He's talking to the Jews says everybody has a little Mosha inside of them. Inner knowing is always the little Mosha inside of you. open up and say, "Is it Mosha Rabenu inside of me? How do I know?" The answer is Mosha is the humblest person in the world. There's no ego, no defensiveness, no anger, no anxiety. He's an evashem. He's a servant. There's a clarity there. That's the mosha inside of you. Then trust yourself. A lot of good things will come out when people trust themselves. A lot of good things. Don't be afraid. I can have all other moments. I'm terrified. It's giants. I'm a grasshopper. And then I need to be careful. I need to be able to see where my thoughts and words and behaviors will go so they remain aligned with. In many ways, this is such a powerful message for our generation before we go in to the final destination, the final gula. Because what you see, what you see today is literally the struggle for so many. We live in a time where Hashem says, "I want you should stop calling me Bali. Start calling me ishi." That means there's a prophet inside of you. And Moshe says, "I want everybody to be prophets." And that's how you know it's Mosha inside of you talking. If it's Mosha inside of me talking, I want everybody to be a prophet. I don't need to be the sole prophet. I need to be the prophet for prophet business. I don't need to be the if it's Misha talking, of course you're a prophet and you're so happy when other people are prophets. You know why? Because you could really connect. It's fun. The divine in you and the divine in me merge into oneness. When I'm going to be the prophet and nobody else is going to be a prophet, it's fine. It's just called human ego, human insecurity. So the inner moa says it's inside of you. That's really there's a prophet inside of you. That prophet knows exactly what God wants from you at this moment because you are a channel. You are the channel. Do I have other stuff? Of course I have other stuff in me. They both exist. That ability to be able to say when Mosha heard it, he cherished that gift. It's a gift to cherish. And it's also important to cherish the knowledge that if that gift is abused or taken advantage of, if it becomes overtaken by my skeletons and my ego, my fear and my insecurity, that same gift can be abused, exploited in negative ways. This is not a call for an independence that causes people to destroy lives in the name of blissful independence. It's not blissful and it's not independence. It's just skeletons coming out in very very interesting enlightened ways quote unquote. Rather, it's the ability to be able to humbly feel the prophet, the energy of God flowing through you and radiate radi radiating that to yourself and the world. Have a beautiful week. Thank you. >> This class is brought to you by the yeshiva.net. Please help us continue [music] the classes. 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