Parsha Beshalach: “Just Move On, Don’t Take It to Heart” Doesn’t Work

okay good morning everybody and welcome thank you for gracing us with your presence this morning today's class is dedicated by Hena gansburg in memory of her beloved and Unforgettable father Irving Stone bakov whose 25th yard site is the following shabas on the 10th day of shat yat the famous Stone Kish the shatenstein famous stone Kish of art scroll was named for aring stone who was one of the great Jewish philanthropists of the last generation who contributed to so many causes and so many institutions and his 25th art site is this week so his daughter hen is also of mine is dedicating it in tribute of his memory and may his kindness and charity and dedication to the Jewish people and to the spreading of T remain an eternal source of inspiration for you and your entire family and all of us and uh there should be only good news and long happy and healthy Years to you and the the class is also dedicated by the straber family in memory of shamis basua M in honor of his yard site on gimat on the third day of and may He remain an eternal source of love and light and inspiration to the family and the Jewish people so to for both of them we experienc the prophecy of with the coming of and thank you very very much for your partnership so we have one source sheet right there's still more there's more Source sheets okay okay so One Source sheet and uh please take it because we're going to follow some text inside I also want to announce that this shabas there'll be a big fa in here on 24 which is also going to be live streamed on the yeshiva.net 9:00 p.m. in honor of yva the 75th yard site of the previous LA and that's going to be online also here 24 sh 9:00 PM a and also for those who want some extra deep classes so Wednesday Thursday and Friday in the morning we have here a she for men but it's live streamed on the yeshiva.net in a very famous discourse called BS legani exploring the secret of the Tsum and the cabala of how we deal with our concealments in life that's Wednesday Thursday and Friday 7:45 a.m. or you can watch a replay all on the yeshiva.net okay so there's often a uh a feeling that many people share that we live in a very very spoiled generation I often hear people say that uh somebody once said you know Nostalgia is not what it used to be like so people often like to say that the youth today are very very spoiled they all fa entitled if something is going wrong for them it's a crisis uh and it's focused so much on feeling your emotions and and how I'm feeling and I'm not feeling I'm in the mood I'm not in the mood and many people lament you know somebody once uh told me well you think I had it easy I had it much harder than my children but we learned they have to put one foot ahead of another foot and move on with life and stop complaining and just make believe you're happy even if you're miserable and tell yourself that you're happy and that's how you do it you do the right thing and that's how we survived and that's a way to live life and this whole this whole new uh ethos of exploring emotions and healing emotions this has hijacked Judaism it has hijacked the Jewish tradition it has hijacked faith it has hijacked family life and this is a very very common um sentiment that many people many people share you know somebody once said you know it's it's you do once a year you check for once a year before P but to do to do constantly I have to check what's happening in all the holes and crevices of my heart and my home and my family and my marriage and my relationship it's not the way to go once a year the night before P check for and get rid of it but this whole idea of uh exploring emotions understanding your emotions uh you know I when I was growing up I don't know how many people went to therapy I mean it was embarrassing to say that you go to a therapist it was like unheard of unless you were Misha certified completely dysfunctional right today it's like if you're not going like what's wrong with you you know like maybe you need help so it's very interest very interesting development and we also have a lot of therapists sitting here in in the class as well coaches and therapists and life coaches and mentors Etc teachers of different typ and it's a very interesting question you know and people often feel that you know somebody told the youth today is just narcissistic and selfish and it's all about them and I and I and my feeling like somebody once said this generation is the I generation everything is about I there's an iPhone and an iPod and an iPad and finally there's a game that's called we but it's spelled with two eyes so it's also about I but I want to today share a perspective that I think can broaden the conversation and expand it a little bit because you know truth real truth is usually not about just delegitimizing one View and just embracing another one without understanding where it's coming from but real truth is as we say every morning right before ding it's the 13th formula of how you learn ter you have two verses that contradict each other very often in the tah and then there's a third verse that makes peace between them it reconciles between them so the question is what do you have to have two verses that contradict each other and then bring in a third partner to reconcile don't make a contradiction and you won't have to have a sh right but the answer of course is that the contradiction is part of arriving at the truth in other words to be able to fully reach the third level you first have to have the first verse that says one thing and the opposite verse that says the exact opposite thing and you could see that contradiction very clearly and then you can appreciate the third one which incorporates and synthesizes and encompasses both and the same is true with many many areas of life and it's also true I think at least partially in this area as well so we're going to learn today a teaching of the bov who was the founder of the movement of everybody knows the B was born in 1698 on the day of the 18th of elas in the Hebrew calendar hey I love from in the English calendar 1698 he passed away 1760 and he has a teaching the teaching consists of literally two lines but I think those two lines could probably fill up three books of psychology and internal work and it's a tit that he teaches on par B and he takes a few words that seem Superfluous and really out of character and he shows that those those few words contain not just a perspective not just meaning but a very profound perspective on this entire concept of navigating our own Journeys internal Journeys through life for ourselves and the people we're close with so let's see the context of the story and you have it in your Source sheets it's going to be the First Source we go to B the beginning of bash which is the ex Exodus chapter 14 let's remember the context of the story the Jewish people at Last have left slav they have left bondage in par last week we learned that they were in Egypt for years Rashi says that according to the calculations that actually in Egypt itself they were there for 210 years but it's interesting that the Terra says they were in Egypt for 430 years and after 430 years they finally depart free at last free at last and they left empir himself is the one who told them get out of my country out out out you're free do whatever you want take whoever you want and leave fearing that he and his entire people are going to perish as they're making the Trek outwards of Egypt a very strange instruction is given to M and that happens in B close to the beginning and you have it here in the original text from the and you also have the English translation I took it from Safari speaks to what does he say speak to the Jewish people tell them they should turn back they should go backwards in other words in the direction of Egypt and they should encamp before a place called P it's between a place called migdal and it's to the Sea the sea is on the other side it's before an idol that was called Bal they should encamp opposite that BV in that Pagan Idol facing the sea what's going to happen he said par is going to say about the Jewish people they're trapped they're lost they don't know where they're going it's like they're zigzag they went there they're going back basically the desert has closed in on them and he says in the next verse verse four that moment that will make stubborn and harsh he will pursue them I will then be glorified through par and his entire Army the egyp I will finally recognize that I am Hashem and this is exactly what they did they followed the instructions which was unique and novel because usually you don't go back to the Lion's Den after you have escaped the Lion's Den but they went backwards and indeed the tah says py finds out the situation and he decides to go pursue them he and his people speak to each other and they say what Insanity has overtaken us we we have had an army of slaves we have had an army of talented skill dedicated slaves how did we do this to oursel allowing them to be free and Pyro takes his troops and his army as the T says his choic as chariots skilled Fighters and warriors to go bring back the slaves and force them to come back into slavery the tah continues in verse n the Egyptians all of par Chariot horses Horsemen his army pursue them and indeed they reach them and they're all there encamped right at the sea next to the place called is exactly where Hashem said they should be so now as we say in English they're stuck between the Rock and the hard ball or in this case you would say between the rock literally and the Sea on one side you have the Egyptian Army on the other side you have a sea P now approaches them he comes closer the Israelites look up and they see the Egyptians and the Egyptians are advancing at their rear they're coming closer and closer they become very frightened they're not just scared they're terrified they're overwhelmed and they begin to scream they cry out they yell they cry out to God then they say something to were there not enough graves in Egypt that you had to bring us to the desert so that we die and we get buried here what is this that you have done to us you have made our lives so much more miserable this is what we told you when we were in Egypt we told you you're a dreamer this is a horrible idea leave us alone let us serve the Egyptians wouldn't it be better to be a slave to the Egyptians than to perish and die a miser able death in the desert wow they're not just challenging mosa and saying we're scared this is frightening what they're telling mha is that this entire experiment was futle we were begging you not to do this you know M came to the Egyptians he had to the Jewish people he had to convince them and argue with them and persuade them and many times they didn't listen to him in the beginning of it says they couldn't even listen to him and now finally they were enthusiastically excited they got out and the night mirror is unfolding right before their eyes it's all over what did Yogi say it's not over till it's over and here it indeed wasn't over not only not over but now it's going to be much much worse because there's going to be retribution for escaping and therefore they are overwhelmed but if we listen to their words to M these are very very profound and painful words because they're not just talking about the fact that it's a frightening situation and the question is what to do but it's really a very very profound sense of desperation and we can understand this if I can apply this a moment in people's personal lives it often happens you know person sometimes makes great strides to liberate themselves from toxic difficult challenging situations they extricate themselves from the shackles physical shackles and especially emotional shackles and wounds that have enslaved them for so many years and then when they think you know they breathe they finally are breathing there's finally a new chapter in their life they finally Turn the Page there's a new trajectory and right there and then they see that nothing has changed in fact par is right there with his entire Army stuck again and that's when they turned to the mha and the Misha inside of them and say this was such a horrible horrible thing what did you do to us not enough graves in Egypt in other words this is L really a death sentence you took us we know we're going to die here so we could have died there oh you don't have enough Graves there and that's why you took us out in other words they see the entire Redemption as a horrible horrible fantasy as an experiment that will never ever work it can't work it just can't it's obvious that this is a death trap and the question is why did we need this why did you have to delude us just kill us in Egypt and bury us bury us there and they tell to you remember this is what we asked you this is what we begged you right leave us alone don't feed us good news don't talk to us about Redemption it's not practical it's not relevant it's not happening this is familiar we had very little control but at least we knew what's coming we had our little control we knew this is what life is you know you opened up you opened us up to a different Consciousness you expanded our Horizons but just to Stand Here pyro standing right behind us and mocking all of us why set us up for such failure M now answers them his answer we need to listen to because this is quite a faithful and intense conversation what does m say so there's two verses describing mha's answer this is verse verse 13 M speaks to the people what does he say the first thing is Al don't be afraid you're panicking you're in fear we understand but I'm telling you you don't need to be afraid why not means stand stand firm witness the Deliverance of Hashem that he will perform for you today wow so mha says I get it this is scary but you don't have to be scared you'll stand there and watch the Salvation you're going to experience and then he says these words because as you see Egypt today you will never see them again for eternity as you see Egypt today you will never see them again Hashem will do battle for you he will fight for you and you could remain silent as they say in English be silent just breathe calm down stay firm the fighting will happen don't worry and indeed we all know the rest of the story in the next scene right after this Hashem tells him to tell the Jewish people to travel further and as they go into sea they experience the great moment of of the splitting of the sea through which they pass and when the Egyptians pursue them they drown and indeed they never see them again forever that's the story that's the text if you look at Mosa's words to them and indeed we did once a whole class about this this is not going to be the focus today but the M tells us that from mha's response you could see that the Jewish people split up into four groups and he had to address each group one group said let's just jump in into the sea let's kill at least we'll die as free people with dignity like in the Mada story instead of falling into the hands of our captors let's die we'll kill ourselves we'll jump into the sea that was one group we want to die as free men and women and children another group said let's surrender we'll raise the white flag and tell par okay yeah it's over another group a third group said let's fight maybe we'll die but let's go down fighting in battle let's go down as Heroes and a fourth group said let's DAV and let's pray and mosenu rejected all four groups in his words that's why he's speaking to different groups the first group he says means stay put stand don't move stand don't jump anywhere the next group that said let's go back he says you see Egypt today but you're never going to see them again you're not going back to mitz the Third group said let's fight he said no no no God will do the fighting the fourth group said let's pray even that he said you be silent what yeah you have a journey continue your journey you have a destination Google map says Mount Si is your destination follow the map or in this case it's not Google Maps it's GPS which is God's positioning system so G is right we could replace Google for a different G for the ultimate G follow if the sea needs to split they'll split so M says a lot of things here but according to any interpretation here one thing is perplexing and that is I underline these words as you see Egypt today you will never see them again what does he mean with these words they know that they see Egypt today they don't need M to tell them that they seeing M today that's why they were screaming that's why they were terrified that's why they had a panic attack if they wouldn't have seen MIT they wouldn't have been afraid it's because they see par they see all the Egyptians pursuing them they picked up their eyes the ter says right before that and they saw they saw it with their eyes they don't need to tell them that they're seeing Egypt today what does mha mean with these words as you see Egypt today you will never see them again what's this comparison mha should just say very simply stand firm you will see the Yeshua of Hashem you will never see the Egyptians again God will fight for you and you will be silent but he makes an emphasis of using these words first of all the words seem Superfluous they don't add anything and not just Superfluous but much more than that it seems out of context because we know that they saw them that's not the issue that's the problem tell me that I'm not going to see them again that we're going to get rid of them they're going to die they're going to perish they'll be destroyed they'll drown if you translate the words literally it means as you see Egypt today you will never see them again in other words not with their all their M might a just seeing what you're seeing today not just the might take a look at the next Source what the B says on this you see I'm going to read it and Translate those words actually contain the entire secret here they're not just words you see them today you won't see them again because even if you suggested wants to say you see this powerful Army they're kaput they're done they're finished so that's what he could emphasize don't worry they're over they're finished he's emphasizing something about see them right he could have said stand watch the Yeshua you're frightened of them they're done I need you to see them today the fact that you see them today that is what's going to allow you never to see them again if you don't see them today I'm afraid you're going to see them again and again and again and again so he's not just saying you see them today you won't see them they know they're seeing them the fact that you're seeing them that's what's going to allow you to get rid of them it's like conquering Enemy enemy at the yeah that's it those are his two lines so the reason you're not going to see them again is there's a condition because you're ready to see them to really see them to face them for real and this is not an easy instruction this is not a simple thing to really see them we're running away from them we don't want to see them we had enough of them we're done B what do they say been there done that I'm done my says I understand but here's the key you don't want to see them ever again for this just one last thing you have to do you have to see them if we all have the courage to be able to see them today then that is what will allow you to finally never ever see them again because you truly face them and therefore you can really defeat the enemy and conquer them but if not you'll be able to you will see them again and this this explains something very enigmatic when we go through thees we see that constantly for the next 40 years there are the Jews who say let's just go back to Egypt let's go back to Egypt this was a bad idea let's go back back back cuz they never managed to fulfill this condition to really see them and therefore they were constantly seeing them and the power of Egypt was therefore so powerful and compelling that there was this Instinct and this drive at different moments especially difficult and challenging moments let's just go back to MIT even though those original troops were gone but this was an internal voice not coming from Egypt itself because they were gone but this was their own internal MIT now what the B is teaching us here is the power and really the need to be able to look at things that may be so so uncomfortable and so difficult but we already left Egypt but here's the challenge you left Egypt but when mha heard from them the words there were not enough Graves over there that you had to take us out we told you don't leave don't take us out much better to be a slave than to be dead we told you when they told M we told you leave us alone don't Feed Us fake news and fake hope when mha heard those words he understood that we're dealing with something very profound as they say in English you can take right the person out of Egypt but how do you take Egypt out of the person I can change the circumstances and take the slave out of slavery but there's a whole other reality and that is the internal and the word we know often we often explain comes from the word which means those things that confine us and inhibit us and hinder us and really lock us up and keep us very very narrow and small and supposedly in control gas means to liberate myself from that which is always a space of uninhibitedness but also a place of vulnerability because it's not small and I don't have exactly control and it's not all familiar and for this m says there's this one last condition you have to be able to see it now let's understand a little deeper and in a very personal and relevant way what the B is teaching us when I'm when I'm fearful when I'm frightened when M says don't be afraid he's not just saying don't be afraid you know get rid of your emotion of fear they're afraid that all these troops are here so says it's going to be good but he's also including one more thing and not being afraid not being afraid of looking at them that's part of the Alo part of Alo is that pain looking at the pain is not dangerous it's painful but it's not dangerous and there's a big difference between something being painful and something being B dangerous sometimes and this is a very very common emotional life and it's a very very deep survival skill I want to repress or suppress there's two words in English there's repress and suppress and the difference is sometimes we could hide something intentionally consciously and sometimes it's even deeper it's unconsciously which means I relegate it to my subconscious not intentionally I don't even do it intentionally so I don't even know that I'm doing it sometimes I do it because I decide to do it but sometimes I do it and I don't even know that I'm doing it and it's a very very deep Instinct and the reason is we're trying to protect oursel so there's certain things I don't want to look at I don't want to see it if I don't feel it if I don't see it I don't look at it I feel that I'm going to be much much safer we often feel that that way it's gone if I say that it's gone and when I say I say I don't mean with my words but with my thoughts with my Consciousness I say it's gone it's going to be gone in fact often and this is something very common in life we invest so much energy convincing ourself that we don't have this emotion convincing oursel that this is not something we're struggling with because in many ways it feels more comfortable and safer if I could tell myself me I don't have to deal with these stuff I'm too big for this I'm too moral for this I'm too good for this oh I'm I'm already passed this I'm invested in telling myself I'm beyond this I'm past this what am I this Petty insecure fearful person dealing with such Nish as they say it's not suitable for me I don't have to deal with it but I actually am so what do I do I tell myself I'm not these are the arguments that happen happen in our brain you know sometimes you'll have an emotion and then they'll right away be a counter emotion saying you can't have that emotion you can't and therefore since you can't you for sure don't so now I convince myself ever happens to anybody I convince myself that I'm not having that emotion what do you think happens to the emotion the emotion you think disappears the emotion says okay you don't want to deal with it consciously you'll deal with it subconsciously so the emotion goes into the basement goes into the cellar and some of us have a few layers of sellers some of us have a thousand sellers 100 sellers 200 sellers depends what's brought to the Consciousness huh sometimes a lot of mold in the cell but basically you know it's the Boiler Room who likes to hang out in boiler rooms who likes to hang out in these Dungy dark basements very difficult place to hang out so these emotions might go and be buried there and what happens is they wreak havoc but they wreak havoc not in a conscious way they leak out in every possible way but suddenly the person realizes there's anger there's so much frustration there's no joyful pres presence there's a tortured emotion there's dissonance I don't feel integrated what is it and the answer is because I can't forge these things one cannot Forge living we can forge a lot of other things but living you can't forge being in touch with the actual heartbeat of life is an experience it's the experience of being part of life and when I try to manipulate who I am and what my heart is and what I'm feeling and try to say what it should be like and what it has to be like it doesn't heal everything all that happens is is part of me becomes robotic because I know I have to do X Y and Z but so much of my emotional life literally needs to go undercover or needs to be cut off from my Consciousness or needs to be amputated or needs to be repressed or needs to be suppressed or needs to be hidden in order for me to be able to feel like a men and be able to feel safe I was once watching a conversation between two people it was a parent and a child and it was a very interesting conversation and I don't know if the word is interesting it was a very uh insightful conversation at least for me and I actually I think I understood it and I think I understood it with a lot of empathy because I know it from my personal life and I think it's a very very common thing basically this child was struggling emotionally and struggling deeply emotionally and his parent wanted to protect her child right how did she feel what's the right way to protect her child so she explained to the boy why he should not be feeling this way with beautiful beautiful logic that it doesn't make sense to have this feeling she tried to convince the emotion out of itself and I was watching it but it really wasn't working it just wasn't working it was just creating more disassociation on both sides and more estrangement but then I realized I happened to know this story with I happened to know this person they came once to me for guidance and I tried to help and this person went through a tremendous amount of difficulties and challenges in their youth what was her way of surviving her way of surviving was telling herself that she's happy not dealing with the emotions because they were very very difficult and really achieving great things in life but with a deeper with a deep bitterness with a deep bitterness that you could see came out an anger a frustration a certain lack of unified integration and compl one can can never ever be judgmental of this because as young children our animal Consciousness figures out what is the best mechanism for me to be able to be safe in a very unpredictable world and one of the great ways of being safe is telling myself what I'm supposed to feel you're supposed to feel and then making believe that I feel it and then convincing myself that I'm feeling it and then of course I won't complain and I'm not feeling pain and I'm certainly not feeling anxiety I don't have to deal with it and everything is good and it sounds very very beautiful and then of course if it's a religious person this person happens to be very very religious we all have the concept of auna whatever hasem does is good so life is beautiful and life is amazing and life is perfect and you're supposed to be cheerful and she's telling this boy be cheerful be happy you're not supposed to be feeling this way you're not supposed to don't don't don't fail this way why did she want this from him because she wanted him also to be safe and she knew maybe at the age of three that feeling these emotions is going to create May create chaos and therefore safety is just cover them up put a lid put a lock throw away the key and we don't go back there and suddenly your child is triggering all the unsafety in your life now this is often what happens between parents and children and sometimes grandparents and grandchildren and teachers and students and generally relationships I'm saying parents and children because it's the most intimate relationship with this is happening constantly and that is your child shares an emotion our child shares an emotion or doesn't even share it it's just emding and displaying an emotion and suddenly the mother or the father get very very triggered and they'll do anything to be able to eliminate that emotion to create some type of distraction to create some type of prize to create some type of convincing process to be able to neutralize or bury that emotion there's a good reason for it the mother and the father are trying to protect the child if I never dealt with these emotions in my life I learned that in order to live I need to cover them up I don't look at them suddenly I see my child running into the street what do you do if you see your child running into the street you scream no but there's a different way of running in the street for some people feeling emotions feeling emotions could be worse than running into the street and running into the street maybe there won't be a car hopefully there won't be a car but here we know how many cars there are waiting don't don't don't go there don't feel this and I'll try to do anything in order to convince them to pressure them to reward them to create words but just don't go there and this is really the desperate loving attempt of people who love their children trying to protect them from the chaos of Life do what I did I survived and you'll also survive and when we see that not happening it's very very difficult and you know why it's difficult it's difficult because of love I don't want you to go to a dangerous place and for me this is danger but what's the challenge the challenge is that whenever this parts of my life that I'm not ready to face they don't disappear they just get buried and they wreak and they influence me in a much more powerful way because if I could see it I say oh wow this is what you look like okay I can even see your edges there's an expression in E job KES Darkness has edges it's an amazing verse Darkness has edges you know what's the hardest thing when people feel that they're in darkness they don't feel the edge of it you know what I mean like you feel you're in darkness and it's just that's it that's the only reality you know when marriag is get into a crisis or people have an emotional crisis and that's it there's no other reality of course tomorrow you'll get a good night's sleep you'll wake up there'll be other realities but when we're feeling it that's it's infinite it's all consuming so the the P say Darkness has edges it has [Music] edges what does that mean emotionally when I could see something ultimately I'll also be able to see its edges when I don't see it it's going to be everywhere all the time it's going to leak out it's going to leak out in middle of great moments but I won't be able to be present because this is really what's dominating the situation especially if so much of my energy and resources need to go in to argue with myself and convince myself out of it so do you imagine how much inner frustration there is and anger there is and dissonance there is and that's why it's so hard to be able to have real peace of mind because real peace of mind can't be forged it's not a fake smile that I make it's not an emoji that I send I mean those are cute emojis real presence is real it means that you're channeling the Divine Life for and energy that's coming through your heart that's coming through your soul but there are other emotions that come in from the CLE because we have we have an animal Consciousness that wants to survive so when I don't look at it when I'm not allow to look at it it goes deep down and it just leaks out literally like when I don't identify the leak and it's just leaking from here and leaking from there and leaking from there and leaking everywhere and here we come to another incredible teaching by the of the SE of Lublin and he says that he heard this from an the ofin was a of course one of the great students of the mag of M who was a student of the B and he passed away Tish 1914 and he had a great colleague a friend the Reb of anapol Whose y actually was bat andin says something that he heard froma and it's a fascinating teaching and I want to show you the source if you look in your Source sheet quite daring quite original the second to the last Source the says at the end of before comes will proliferate it'll be as available as oxygen right will know no limits that's the time before mashia and he goes through a list of different things that will be and one of them is the people will be disgusted by those who fear sin in other words those who fear sin will be M will be detested they won't not only won't they be respected and honored but they'll be despised despised Yu from the word MOS discussed at the surface it seems like a very very negative prediction there Comes A Time in history before the coming of Mia when those who fear sin not only are not respected but they're [Music] loathed yeah the end of the end of the end of this is what our sages they give the signs of a bunch of things so this is one of them so the says I heard from and he says something very daring he says rusa said that this actually has a very very profound message and not completely negative a very positive message and he says means what people will really be disgusted and what won't speak to them is a relationship with Hashem that is based exclusively on fear and dread and Terror rather than love that's what they're not going to be liking IM why because since the definition of gula is a full intimate relationship a relationship not only based on dread not based on dread at all but based on connection so therefore before Mia comes they won't be able to respect and cherish a relationship that's based solely on Fe on fear and dread rather than of love now you'll ask you know this seems like a very cute interpretation but literally the Miss is trying to bring out that people will be detested by come on what are you giving this positiveid spin on it but the truth is people don't understand the depth of what he's saying he's saying if you look at the negative in the right way you'll see something positive inside the negative sometimes you see a person who runs away from and you say wow how negative this is so R is saying yes but if you look deeper you'll see there's a search here that was not satisfied what's the search so imagine if somebody needs to motivate a husband or a wife to engage in a peaceful marriage cuz there's problems and the husband or the wife is told you know you should behave as a good husband and as a good wife you know why CU you tell the husband if you don't come home in time and if you don't say the right things she will punish you severely no laundry no dinner the home will be a mess and Chaos she will punish you she will penalize you the way she can or conversely and the husband says okay I'm going to behave I'm going to behave now even if he behaves and does everything that says in the you'll say like that's the motivation the sole motivation is that I'm going to be punished and without that there won't be a marriage here the Mish says mitvah the reward of a Mitzvah is a Mitzvah one of the interpretations the balatan says is the greatest reward you can get for a Mitzvah is the Mitzvah itself what's the greatest reward one gets for a worked out deep marriage candies cotton candy the greatest reward is a worked out deep marriage you're not going to get a greater reward than that if you have a good relationship I'm going to take you to Six Flags amusement park or you're going to get free sushi every Thursday night for 25 years the reward may be nice but it doesn't come close tovah the reward for the Mitzvah the word Mitzvah it says Mitzvah from the word which means connection the greatest reward of the Mitzvah is the connection with the connection itself that's the greatest reward there's other rewards but that's the greatest reward of course if you have a good marriage there'll also be a lot of other good things but the greatest reward is not anything outside of that itself so now when it comes to our relationship with Hashem for so many people it could be based on fear yes if I don't do the right thing I'm going to go to geham or I'm going to be punished in this I'm going to be punished in next world so said it doesn't speak to people why doesn't it speak to people because they're ready for a much more fertile and profound experience in a relationship yeah listen if a marriage is basically disintegrating and the only way you can keep it together is from some external motivation okay maybe it's better than nothing maybe it's much better than nothing but when you're capable of a much deeper relationship and you reduce it to such a superficial motivation it's like something is off I'm not interested in this whole thing this is wrong so is saying before the time of mhia when you see that people detest they're detesting fear of sin which is such a Negative phenomenon says you could see only on the outside and say it's negative but if you look deeper you'll see that there's a deeper search what people are want is a whole relationship an empowerful relationship if I cannot help a person work through all of their emotions and face them you can't reach that relationship if the only way the relationship can happen is by amputating so many of my emotions or at least not acknowledging them not dealing and embracing and looking at them MOA says you'll never leave M emotionally and spiritually you could never be redeemed because it's going to live inside of you and you're going to see MIT it's going to come up tomorrow and the next day and the next day why cuz I never could really look at it and I understand why back to that mother and that child back to parents and children you're triggering very very negative things inside of me it's not safe don't be afraid of your child's emotions it's a gift for you to go back to your own emotions sometimes what we see in our children is a mirror of maybe all the time a mirror of what I need to work on Within Myself And if I'm being very very triggered instead of lashing out on you're being or when I was a child we never did this it you may be right you may be right you may be wrong but the real issue is there's a deep opportunity here for introspection introspection doesn't mean that if somebody's running into the street and is a vulnerable child I shouldn't hold them back that's not what we're saying but introspection means there's an opportunity here to go much deeper and really find out what my heart heartbeat looks like inside and what I am afraid of facing so deeply cuz if I can face that I won't be afraid of embracing all the parts of that child I think I once told you before PES somebody once had a very profound Insight I don't mean to remind you about PES cleaning even though it's the middle of shat getting closer and closer to G and for this you have to face all your humet the sooner face the easier it'll be yeah so it's interesting that before PES we all have this MIT the mission the night of the 14th of you check the with the light of the candle and say you have to check du in all the holes and all the crevices now you have to remember in their days I don't know if you ever went to how they lived even in their early 1800s if you go to Pennsylvania they have these tours where you could see how they live in early usually if you had a house with one bedroom you were pretty well if you had two bedrooms you were you know Rockefeller You Were a Rich Man or rich woman two bedrooms was a big biges you know was 10 people sleeping in a bed I don't know if you know you had one bed sleeping in the width not in the length you had 10 people and in the winter they would sleep tight so they can retain the heat you know like the Penguins you ever see the documentaries of the Penguins yeah those in Antarctica the black and the white that's why love to huddle together and and because that keeps the warmth you know in a very cold old Russian or Polish winter you got to got to keep together and stay warm so literally they used to sleep but in any case so and you know people didn't have pantries you know with bottles of mashka and scotch and Benedictine and blue label and red label and then a whole freezer just made for pizza for when your son comes home at 1:00 in the morning you should be able to eat pizza and then another Pantry full of cakes and mazas and rugala and brownies and cheesecakes from last Tru and for next Tru Etc these were all these were all Mish Mish luxuries if you know if there was one piece of bread that remained after dinner you were a very very rich person so was very visceral and in many ways very simple most people didn't have the whole idea of selling the ks really developed only in the 1500s when Jews went into the business of owning ins owning ketas Motel sixes that served liquor and vodka and and and uh and different scotches to all of the people in the re which in the region which was a major source of income and to burn it all before P could be a devastating devastating loss and that's when the re authorities the and and others develop this whole formula of how to sell the ETC so was a very viscous you literally went the night before and you went with a candle and the says why a candle do it by day and the answer is because a candle allows you to go into that little crevice that little crack where the light of the sun can't reach and to be able to see what's there and to get rid of every last piece of humet and the language of the of the of the of the Miss is we check the on the night of the night of the 14th but it's interesting the word that's used is the opening of which means light so says what does it mean the light of our BOS does it mean the day does it mean the night and for a few pages there's a debate what the word they didn't know when say it says the light of the light of the 14th I would say the of the 14th means in the morning and after a few pages he comes to the conclusion that it means the night before is the night and it's called why say why just not say Leos the night of the 14th he wants to use a positive language light not light not night but there's a very very deep message here and that is exactly what m raenu is saying you know in in in Judaism the beauty of one of the most beautiful things is that every Nuance in Jewish law is reflection of a Jewish story it's not disconnected any law in 630 mitzah of T you'll have it in a story form in one of the stories ofes you understand what I'm saying we have 63 Mitzvah every one of them you first find in a story format and the law is really giving a concrete way of dealing with that story hereu says if you don't look at MIT today you're going to see them forever look at them today so you don't have to see them forever how did that translate into looking for the why you looking for the Comets don't look if you don't see it better the answer is because it may appear middle of PES don't look it's not there it is there look what where is this coming from you don't see it you don't see it if it's on your count to get rid of it no and you got to go into the crevices and the holes and you have to search with a n there's a story that balat he was a student of the mag of M so when he was there he was very very poor and he lived in a little tiny Hut and it was literally one room and it was a tiny room took him a whole night so somebody asked one of his students why a whole night what's they do a whole night a little tiny room people have big houses in MSY or in Thomas River and it takes them a half an hour a whole night so he said the M says you need to do it with the light of the 14 why 14 because the the Divine Soul has seven the animal Soul has seven you need to use the flame of the Divine soul to check the seven Midas of the animal Soul so you have 14 a whole night is not enough so there there's a physical but there's the emotional and it's an interesting thing the a place where you don't bring in you don't have to check you don't have to say I mean we're paranoid so we check everywhere and everywhere forever like somebody once said you know dust is not and your children are not the carbon P but a place where you don't bring in you don't have to check there's no Mitzvah to go search and check a place where there could be you have to check if if there's symptoms what if the if there's smoke there's fire emotionally that means if I'm feeling tortured if I'm feeling dissonance if I'm feeling the opposite of Joyful presence there's humet there's ego there there's arrogance there which is usually fear and insecurity so I need to be able to go check that's why you know there was once one of the vision told us he was busy with criticizing everybody else so he says like this is in your own Pockets you don't check I don't check the in your Pockets why not I didn't bring in theet into your pockets I BR in theet into my pockets so the Mitzvah is check theet in your own Pockets not in anybody else's Pockets the same is true emotionally it's very easy for me to analyze your you have this you have that you have that my whole life it's the greatest defense mechanism everybody else is dysfunctional I'm the only healthy person in New York but the search for is where I bought in the and the first word is with light cuz the only way to do is when you have the light and that's the key difference between another story in here tells the Jewish people to look at Egypt but do you remember the story when somebody was told not to look L and his wife are running away from and the angel said I'll don't look back don't and one of them did look back the huh that's funny that's a that only a female could say I can't say that joke sorry she becomes salt what's the idea and here he's saying to look oh there's a profound Difference by it says he didn't want to leave he wanted to stay in fact there a on the word and he hesitated we once spoke about it he liked it was his future he invested in he left to be with in fact he became a Supreme Court Justice in s says that day they appointed him Supreme Court Justice in fact he had two daughters who intermarried to people in D he had another two daughters who who were betrothed he was a success story in di finally the Jew who assimilated and integrated and was accepted he didn't want to leave they tell him it's going to be destroyed as a place of doom and destruction please like so many Jews didn't want to leave Egypt in other words so much of his heart was stuck in how did he get out he didn't they slept him out oh now if you look back it's dangerous cuz you are identif if Ying with s you're still there you need to be able to create some distance before you look you need to be able to have some reference point of Freedom you can only check if you have light when you're holding the flame when you know that essentially I can identify with my Divine Consciousness which is free which is whole which is full of infinite possibility and joy and confidence then with that flame look and then the looking will be powerful the Jews who didn't want to leave Egypt also stayed back mha is speaking to the people who had the courage and said this is not our place but even when you say this is not my place we have to realize how internal wounds work there's a part of us that will be resurrected at every moment of Crisis and say I shouldn't have left I should have not left I should have not left remember these are the people who want to leave they wanted to leave they agreed to leave they they they went out without food they ran with their do you followed me into an unsown desert but yet yet my animal Consciousness when it gets triggered by difficult circumstances I say o this was a mistake and then the darkness takes over and I'm there and then M raenu says we got the we got this there's a missing piece here and the missing piece is you have to be able to allow yourself to see the pain because then your body and your nervous system will be able to process it and then you'll be able to release it don't be afraid of looking at MIT you're in a position where you can do it sometimes you're not in a position where you could do it and this a very very important and that's when we come to the two verses that contradict each other sometimes people can't do this you have to be ready to do this you have to be open to do this this is very deep work so when somebody says this is a spoiled generation they have to feel their emotions I get it for some people feeling emotions is equals danger they want to protect their kids they want to protect their kids you talk about the world of marriage for example you know I'll be very honest with you I don't think you know today you see that what women and men were ready to put up with to stay married years ago people are not ready to put put up today with it's very interesting you know somebody once told me I'm not going to tell you if it was a husband or a wife says you think my marriage is simple miserable but you stay my mother stayed my father stayed my grandparents stayed but you see today people don't want that marriage why not you say oh they're spoiled they're narcissistic they're thinking about themselves not their kids for sure there are people who are narcissistic there are people who are spoiled but there's something deeper going on people feel the potential for a much deeper relationship whenever you feel the potential of something much deeper your system will become dissatisfied with superficiality you understand what I'm saying if I feel that there's no other availability I'll stay there but when your soul is telling you there's more there's more there's more suddenly how do you know there's more you're feeling a deep dissatisfaction with it what is it's reallyu inside of you saying you don't belong in mitam anymore but the journey out can be grueling because it's part of me and it's part of me for so many so many years so when I can hold the O BOS when I can hold the candle of my soul and identify with that inner conviction and knowledge that at your core you're not a slave and at your core you're not damaged and at your core you don't need somebody else to tell you that you have value and at your core you're not this needy needy ridiculous person who's just a burden on everybody on their family and on Society at your core you're a Divine manifestation of light nowu says you have to be able to look at because it's paralyzing me the fact that I'm not aware of what's Happening inside of me the fact that I cannot create space and hold space with empathy for all of these emotions and experiences only means that they go in into the system they lock themselves behind closed doors and they wreak havoc in every possible way creating more frustration more resentment more anger more dissonance more disassociation more numbness more difficulty more challeng more challenges and simply more negative energy rather than truly being fully present to what is now you'll say but what happens I see this Egypt inside of me and it's very very disturbing it's very very challenging yes it is but when I can hold space for it and say yes it's challenging and it's difficult ultimately I can breathe through it and see its edges and when I could see its edges it can be quarantined rather than overwhelm the entire system and Define who I am essentially now it's interesting because this is something counterintuitive sometimes people feel if you want to be present fully at a B Mitzvah at a wedding this was a family vacation week right right what are they called Yeshiva week so Jews went to their natural habitat Miami the Amish have a natural habitat in Pennsylvania we have a natural habitat it's called Florida for some people it's the Hamptons whatever all the natural habitats a new one became kanun is a new new natural habitat for Jewish people now vacation usually triggers a lot of issues in families as you know anybody who was on vacation this week between marriages because it's not predictable there's no regular schedule you know you need a little bit of an adventurous Spirit usually you miss a flight or it got delayed so somebody's stuck in the airport for 5 hours and you forgot the sandwiches Etc and the smell of everybody else's sandwiches really makes you regret this entire Journey what happens on the airplane we're not even going to discuss but it takes an adventurous spirit and a lot of things a lot of things come out and people often feel in order to be present in life if I could just get rid of all the negative emotions and just be fully present they'll be amazing but it's the contradiction because when I get rid of quote unquote and I repress the negative emotions they're all there and they I feel that there's a dissonance I feel that I'm not here I'm just making believe I'm here and your kids pick up on it immediately because they know the subconscious much better than they know your conscious you want to learn about your subconscious listen to your children talk about you huh yeah yeah yeah so it's important to understand this is this is never done in a judge this should never be done in a judgmental way there's two verses that contradict each other right and sometimes it becomes about a process where I'm just busy worshiping my pain that's all I do I worship my pain all day I'm not I'm not even liberating myself from it all I want to explain to myself is how wounded I am how in pain I am how help I am who is the person really who is the person really not respecting themselves when I feel that I have to hold on there's nothing outside of my pain there's no other reality it's because the person doesn't know their own inner value we were talking the other I was I don't know shabas I was I was giving so we spoke about this that sometimes people hold on to their pain forever for a very good reason because they feel that they are the only witnesses to it and if they let go of it they're doing an injustice to themselves and to society because I am the only witness and if I let go of the pain and I don't identify with it completely the last witness is gone but the truth is you always have a right to grieve your pain you always have a right to be a witness to it but there's no Mitzvah that I have to identify my entire identity is this my entire identity is not this your identity is that you're you're a divine piece of light and whenever you want and whenever you need you have a right to grieve and you have a right to feel pain and you have a right to cry it's not forbidden I don't have to say that my entire identity is the pain that somebody else did to me and that is all there is to me for me to be a witness you can serve to be a witness whenever you feel that you need to be a witness for it so now we see another very interesting thing in the story of liberating ourselves from Egypt and that is that when the Jewish people come out of Egypt we have the S everybody knows that we break the matah Y and the big part of the matah gets hidden as the we put it away as and later we're going to retrieve it and somehow in Jewish tradition what happened the custom became that the children are the ones who go and find AF and then they don't give it back to you until you give them a handsome reward in my days it was usually a black it was a it was a uh black and white or or those bells you remember those bells they had you remember the those bells right yeah they can kill you on the spot you didn't have to wait a day today you got to wait a day that killed you on the spot but they were delicious especially when you got to the bottom of it and if you were like Rockefeller then you got a calculator for AF or a Parker Pen those today if you give your kid a calculator for AF and they'll call Child Services on you for giving a calculator that's like Mish abuse a black and white you Not a Human Being you're like a UFO it's more like you know a Lamborghini a private yacht I'll do a private jet I mean a tablet maybe if your mom is AAR maybe a tablet you'll get away with it so so what's this idea this idea they take and they're the ones who give it back to us so you could just say know it's a Min it's part of the S they fun to make it a little entertaining but the fact that this has become so widespread means there's a secret there's something profound here and that is it's telling us something there are things that we hide in our life it's usually broken matzas and whatever you hide your children are going to expose and they're going to reveal they're going to give it to you they're going to say here ma here tati here here here ABA here Emma here it is here's the broken matah and now we choose how to respond part of us can get very very triggered and it makes sense it's like you know how hard I work to hide my broken matah I've been doing this for 50 years and it was a good hiding place how dare you now I know this is not done verbally and it's not done intentionally but it's done with our nervous system you you you're upset we're we're we're triggered we don't say any words we're nice people but we're triggered come on after everything i' done for you look where I took you on this Yeshiva week Amazing Pizza all all day three meals Pizza there's also another option another option is wow be curious wow what just happened wow that was hard for me what what just came up what is the MIT that I may have to be able to look at now and if I can look at it and really hold space for it and even have empathy for it and breathe through it I actually don't have to be a captive of it anymore I don't have to be a hostage of it anymore maybe one day I'll be able even to be unburdened and disentangled and transformed but even before that but that takes a lot a lot of inner work a lot of empathy so I could take the and I could look at my child with empathy and love and say thank you and I don't have to be defensive wow you don't have to be defensive amaz amazing we don't have to be defensive some people feel if they're not going to be defensive the whole world is going to collapse if I can't convince you that I'm the sadic and you're the spoiled one the world is going to collapse and you know what people are doing it because of Love they really want to protect their children I get it they do it's terrifying to feel these things that's why I don't feel them and you want to bring it up but sometimes you can take says look at and you'll never have to see it again and I could say thank you thank you for this awareness and then we can eat finish the S and say in other words we can't complete the process of redemption without eating the a without accepting it and eating it and then you'll actually reward your child for giving you the AF why would you reward your child for exposing the broken matah because you'll find out that the greatest growth in your life happened through these very challenging encounters because here is the second part of it and this is the good news I mean the first is also good news but this is even better news the gar says as much booty as they took out of Egypt it was complete non-comparable to the booty that they found at the sea remember it says they emptied out MIT but it wasn't even close to what they got at the Red Sea when the Egyptian bodies came out of the sea and they had all of their jewelry and they had a tremendous amount of wealth and affluence that they brought with them they all got it at the yamu and they were told to take it with them what does this mean spiritually what this means is that which we're afraid to look at is usually containing some of our deepest Treasures the there are profound Treasures that are hidden under those coverings under those blockages there's a reason that our fear has developed so acutely to be able to protect us from those places because it's trying to protect a hidden hidden treasure and it feels that by hiding it that's how we will have have our treasure it just disassociates us from our Treasures because we don't have access to them and when I have the courage to really go there and really look at it it opens up and then you have B you have the booty at the sea which is infinitely greater even than what you took in Egypt so sometimes for example a person at a very very young age will develop terrible fear of life and they'll always predict the worst in every situation for themselves and their children and therefore they're always being hypervigilant to control everything and there's a reason for it it's their love it's their infinite love that they have for so many people and therefore if I'm constantly afraid if I'm constantly paranoid if I'm constantly hypervigilant if I'm going to control everything nobody will be hurt nobody will be harmed so it's really a CIP but it's a shell that's protecting something so so precious behind all of our difficult emotions there is usually a very very deep innocence and Purity that is stored away deep it's like a secret of your and our survival mechanism in its own weird way wants to protect it and therefore it creates all of these layers and puts this into Exile and then covers it up Winston Churchill once said in a time of war the truth is so precious it's protected by many Bodyguards of Lies we all have deep truth that are protected by many many Bodyguards of lies and they protect it and they cover it up and they camouflage it and we express it in such strange ways that don't do us well or anybody else well but it's a survival method and when I have the courage to really be able to look at those places it's hard because there's grief and there's pain and a lot of empathy needed but you're also going to find such power and creativity that is unimaginable precisely because it was hidden so well that is exactly the symptom that it's hiding something very very very precious that I don't have to hide anymore and as a result of that the B says that when you look at it you won't see them again and not only that you're going to find tremendous be a tremendous boot booty in many ways what the BV is teaching here is not just an isolated teaching it's really the Stepping Stone from going from Exile into Redemption because one of the major as you said before one of the major survival instincts of trauma is that we can't face so many things we don't want to and that's how we survive but the relationship then with ourselves and with others and with Hashem is also very very limited it's dictated by very external motivations it's sometimes dictated by very superficial emotions and instincts it works sometimes but there's a lack of inner wholeness there's a lack of the inner experience of De of intimacy of Oneness part of the healing of that is the permission for people to look at things and I want to say emphasize here a very important point because this comes up so much and that is the issue of Shame and guilt there's a reason we don't want to see things in ourselves because they could be so shameful let's face it some of our survival skills are not very very Noble and moral they're sometimes very very Petty sometimes very disturbing people have such difficult emotions it's much easier for me to say I don't have this I don't deal with it but that's worse than having the emotion because the shame around it just means it lives and it lives in Freedom and it goes uncontested and unchallenged if I could see it and look at it I could say yeah this is my survival emotion I get it but I also have so much more in the T the AL posits the famous idea that we operate not on one level of Consciousness but on many levels of consciousness you have a you have you have an animal Consciousness you have a Divine Consciousness as I said before and the animal Consciousness itself could be divided into a thousand or 2,000 or 20,000 parts so we have one brain but we don't have one mind we don't have we're not made of a Mana mind we don't have one mind we have thousands of different Minds which means so many different parts and souls and Consciousness that speak and they speak all day sometimes you'll see a conversation happening inside your head and there are around 25 people talking at the same time and you're like am I crazy am I going insane am I a muga so the Tanya says you're not a muga there's just there's he gives this example there's a jury with a lot a lot of people and it's like the knesset you ever see what happens in the knesset you ever see what happens in the knesset you put Jews in one room trying to figure out life when there's danger yeah they scream at each other they have to have security it's literally what happens in most Jewish Brains it's it's literally the knesset who's right who's wrong and you think well I'm so dishonest and I'm so weird I'm so crazy do I love my husband I not love do I love my kids I'm this I'm this I'm I'm I'm so low I'm so hot relax there's a lot of different people in you it's fine you have an animal Consciousness that's trying to survive in a crazy world I get it it will do anything it needs to say you're dangerous you're not dangerous you I can deal with you I can't deal with you I need to impress you this it's it's that's what it does it can't be fully present it's always always needs to be protected it's in a war zone the Divine Consciousness is very very present it's very relaxed and it's very it could be very vulnerable because it's it's full of Faith it's full of trust if I deny my animal Soul I'll never have access to my Divine Soul because I'm going to bypass who I am I won't have access to my Divine soul my Divine soul will remain in Exile and the animal soul will take over one of the deepest things we do is guilt and shame guilt and shame your animal soul to get your Divine Soul it only takes me away further from my Divine Soul it's like oh you can't think that you can't feel it how can you be like this that's all tactics of the animal soul to keep you away from yourself the animal Soul needs to be accepted as something that can feel all types of things because it's trying to survive there's no shame around that it's not a mistake God made your animal Soul just like he gave you your Divine Soul it's not a mistake it's part of the purpose of a creation the Tanya says in Chapter 30 7 and here's a plug for my wife's Tanya classes every other Monday in M for years home it says in chapter 37 that the soul doesn't come down to fix itself it doesn't need fixing doesn't need a TI it comes down to heal and sublimate and educate the animal Soul so that's a beautiful Insight so when I'm dealing with something don't be afraid of your a this is exactly it this is what I got to work on what are you afraid this MIT is not a mistake God said I'm coming down down with you intimate I'm going to bring you back up this is the Journey of Life some get stuck in that oh so I get stuck right that was the story with light and he didn't even want to leave he didn't even know there's another option that's why you need a light for right that's the difference between the L story and this story not to get stuck to be able to understand that this is what survival skills look like and I have to know that they can be very very overwhelming and feel that this is the only reality and that's part of what the animal Soul says the animal Soul says this is the only reality we should have stayed in in Egypt this was a ridiculous thing you're not going free we're going to die here it was just because there were not enough Graves and M raenu was the one who deluded us you deluded me I am a slave at my core this is who I am this is what it's supposed to be I'm supposed to be a miserable person thank you now give me a cheesecake or give me my phone cuz I need a distraction and this is what people come this is miserable that's miserable and we get it this is all part of what the animal Soul does and it's very very powerful and therefore therefore when we have shame around that what it does is now I'm busy arguing with my animal soul that it doesn't exist good luck it's the animal Soul arguing with the animal soul that it doesn't exist you ever do that you are arguing with you that you don't exist so who do you think is doing the argument who do you think is running the show but if I could say yeah yeah of course this is what it is there's no shame in the fact that I have all these things inside of me there's no should be no shame around it it's the shame that actually keeps me stuck in that more and more and more when I could liberate myself from shame and oh yeah this is going to be part of me and it may be part of me for life until Messiah comes there's a MIT inside of me although we can achieve transformation everyone according to their capacity on different levels but there may be things that are there you don't have to be ashamed and you don't have to feel guilty for the fact that you're a human being and this is part of your this existing and that means something else if you go back to the words of he says you see Egypt today you won't see them again he's also adding another Point here the way you see them today you'll never see them again which means the facts may not change but once you look at them you'll never have to see them in the same way that you see them today you could look at the same story in your life from one perspective and when you have the courage to see it you could look at the very same story from another perspective the way you see them today you will never see them again and that's that's what healing looks like I could look at the experience but I see it and when I see it I'll never have to see it the same way I always saw it as long as I didn't have the courage to look at it it showed up as a monster as a big dark monster threatening to overwhelm me once I have the courage to see it I see I'm much larger than it I'm much bigger than it I Define it it doesn't Define me I could see the same fact now somebody once gave me a metaphor very simple but profound you know if I'm in a small small room and you put a table in the room the table fills the entire room there's nowhere to move then you put in a couch into the room there's Mish nowhere to move then you squeeze in a cheer there's nowh to move it's called a house in Brooklyn that's why you made a migration here right or Manhattan even better studio apartments right what happens if you move into a large Mansion suddenly you put the same table you barely see it the size of the table didn't change but the size of where you live changed that's in life the story is the same story the table is the same table but you changed I have different capacity you may have the same reality the same events the same experiences the same struggles but when I'm in a room this table fills everything and it's choke and I'm clustr phobic and I can't live when you're in a different space Oh yeah I see the table okay it's a cute little table the way you see them today you will never see them again the same way not because they're not there there may be an inner voice but you'll see it completely differently once you have the courage to look at it you see it for what it really is and this is the difference preh healing and post healing fre healing if somebody let's say has caused me tremendous pain and suffering and anguish intentionally unintentionally that completely defines me when I was three years old I was a real victim I I was helpless you are helpless for em an emotional neglect or never mind other things that are more serious I mean I don't know what more serious but other things that are also very serious now I'm 40 or 50 or 60 or 30 in my mind I'm still emotionally helpless you still own my life parro is the master I am the slave says this is what we need to change what you're seeing today you'll never see it again in the same way if you have the courage to see it and say wow that table used to be so big but now it's just a small table yeah this is a transformation that is so deep because you can't say this in words it's an energy experience that you're in a much larger space so you could look at it with empathy and it's you don't have to deny anything only because you saw it can you really change your perspective I'm just going to conclude with one last line and this I saw from the Reb of aov the called and he gives one last beautiful interpretation in these words of M raenu which really completes the circle he says what m is telling the Jew people is because you see Egypt today you won't see them again he says what he's really intimating here is a story that would play itself out much later in history and that is and this is the last Source at the end of track Mak there's a story that RAB AKA was traveling to with three of his colleagues re Yeshua re Gamel and rebar Ben AAR you're talking about the greatest sages of the day this is shortly after the destruction of the second bikes so the Temple Mount lay desolate and suddenly they see a fox emerging from the place of the holy of holies where they used to be The KES and they knew it Place very well because they lived through it they see a fox coming out so start sobbing says is M he starts celling he's laughing they found that strange they Saida what's we would say what's the joke what's so funny R AA is a good Jew so you don't answer you ask another question you answer a question with a question R AA says you ask me why I'm crying why I'm laughing I ask you why you crying they said how could we not cry this is the place that anyone who walks in here throughout the whole year couldn't even live from the intense spirituality and here foxes roam around freely how could you not SB to see this sight of destruction of decline of deterioration so says that's why I'm laughing what's making you cry is making you laugh making me laugh and raka famously says that yesi speaks about two witnesses representing two prophets there was a prophet named urya and there was a prophet named or lived first lived the beginning of the second generation of prophesies Zion will be plowed like a field it lay desolate like a field prophesies the streets of Jerusalem will yet be filled with elderly men and elderly women in other words Jerusalem will be completely rebuilt in the streets of Y you'll see the sounds of skim and skus and of course Youth and from old age and ripe age they will be in the streets of Y repopulated refilled with Jews SOA says and these are his final words the last two lines in your Source sheet is the last Source these are's words until the prophecy of Ora was fulfilled I was not certain that the prophecy ofar will be fulfilled but now that I see the prophecy of yya was fulfilled Zion was plowed like a field that's why foxes are roaming there foxes don't roam in homes they go in fields so now I know that the prophecy of will be fulfilled that's why I'm laughing when I see the boxes it's making me qu and the says they told him these words AKA you comforted us AKA you comforted us because R AA saw what they saw and that's why he asked them why you're crying he wasn't just curious he understood why they were crying he wanted to explain to them that the reason that's making them cry that very thing is making him laugh now the question is they didn't believe in the second prop prophecy they also believed in it Messiah is one of the fundamentals of the faith and if Raba wouldn't have seen the foxes he wouldn't know that the the prophecy of would be fulfilled where was saying something much deeper and that is in the prophecy of he can already see the prophecy of in the plowing of the field he can already see that explains why he brings this prophecy of SE will be plowed like a field there's so many prophecies in the about the destruction but he brings this prophecy because when you plow a field it's not just destruction it's really you're preparing it for a new cycle of produce we don't just plow a field to destroy the field that's not what plowing is Kish plowing is to make the Earth fertile you need to till the ground in order for it to grow so is not just a prophecy of Destruction sees what I'm seeing in the foxes is the plowing of the field it's the beginning of it's a hard beginning it's the painful beginning plowing is not the fun you know the fun is when you're sitting around and eating the eating the sourdough bread or on PES the matah talking about matah but the plowing or souro matah you can't have souro matah it's impossible souro is the all right very good okay I could have gotten away with it in a men class maybe so they believed in of course they believe but now we're crying we know in the future it's going to be good what was saying is transformation to be able to see in this very decline to be able to see that this was so what saying he says just like you see that the promise of Egypt coming back to pursue you happened Hashem told M go back I'm going to make par stubborn he's going to pursue you and then Egypt is going to find out you see it happened you see every prediction I told you happened py is going to come and he's going to pursue even though he's a mug he already had 10 maras did not job somebody once told the katar that he's an ayus he's a heretic he said you know ayus you want to know it's py 10 plagues and he still denies you he says once you get a little patch you're done he says py he was a tough guy but M says you see he came so just like this exactly happened you could trust me this the second is also going to happen like said now I see but according to the we see it's even deeper this is the beginning of it the seeing of is not something separate from the Redemption it's the beginning that ability to look at it and even though that's the difficult part but as I could hold it with empathy and I know this is actually part of the Redemptive process this gives the Jew the power to be able to look at M knowing that this is the beginning of the process of never seeing them again have a beautiful wonderful week next week we're on Tuesday 9:30