Likkutei Torah Matos V'Eisha #3: When I Learn Torah Purely, It’s Me and God in Full Intimacy

good morning everybody we are up toim of the that's page 167 giml on top it says M again 167 the first column giml in the Hebrew it's payid column 1 in English it's yeah I got stuck on a line yeah okay today's class is gratefully sponsored by Reb Ezra David Phillip who blesses everybody who's here and everybody with much success materially and spiritually thank you very much and he says just one more Mitzvah the ram says can tip the scale and bring mhia now amen okay you mind you could bring bring a the blue the whole okay so everybody remembers the the main point we learned last time anybody wants to give a summation thank you so much if not I'll have to give which is dangerous so essentially the focus here the focus of this m after all the introductions which we discussed in the previous classes is exploring a in the song of songs in the first chapter [Music] and the answer this is right in the beginning of the song of songs the seventh verse of the first chapter where there's a question and an answer there's an exchange tell me the one who my soul loves where are you shepherding your flock where are you going to be lying with them and having them Crouch and relax during the afternoon why should I be ashamed searching for the flocks searching for the herds of your colleagues of your friends and the shepherd responds and says my most be most beautiful of women if you don't know where to go so then follow the footsteps of the follow the footsteps of the flock and Shepherd your goats at The Dwelling Places of the Shepherds obviously you could see there's a profound symbolic message here so one of the points he conveyed and that was the focus of chapter 2 that this is referring to every soul and it's like all of shash Song of Songs is a metaphor of the relationship between Hashem and the Jewish people and here he says the one who my soul loves and the main focus was on those words my soul loves and he explained that there's the love that is always there in the soul always and it cannot be obliterated it can't even be compromised or tarnished the question is how much Revelation how revealed it is what could be is that my heart or my soul is an exile he used the in it's amazing how he uses the literally was saying I'm an exile CU he began prophesizing in but then he ended up in B in the first Exile that was alive during the and he prophesized in B on a river called I'm in I'm in Exile is really an expression of thei for every person for many people the the is can be in Exile the not just like I'm an exile I happen to be in America I happen to be in this country the an the core eye could be and this is the condition where the eye is in a state of Exile and what does exile mean Exile means it's not expressed it's been exiled away it's been almost uh expelled when a person is in Exile they're under the control of others who are keeping them in Exile has an expression children who have been exiled from the table from the table from the feast from the home of their father so is is in a state of G it's in an exile so number one it's concealed I have no access to it I don't even know about it it's controlled by bodyguards and by sh and by protectors and by Defenders that are surrounded and don't allow it to become free become free means it can Flex its muscles it can express itself it could be what it's supposed to be which is an the core of the eye but here the whole an could be everybody understands the pain of such a state because there's a dissonance there's the split where sometimes all of my behaviors or at least many of my behaviors and my thoughts and my words and my actions and my emotions and impulses and triggers instead of flowing from the knee the knee is it's hidden somewhere in gas and even though it has some influence but it's in a very roundabout and not conscious way and consciously the person is driven and and by by all types of differentness all or at least what he or she perceives as completely different is different Wills different desires even though it's like a child and a father and the love from a child to a father is always there but like we explained at length in the first class to second class the love can be concealed ultimately a child begins as one we begin as one but ultimately our journey is toward separateness every fetus is inseparable from its mother and in originally what is it it's a development it's called a zygote it's a devel development from the from the sperm from the seed of the father and the Egg of the mother the chromosomes the combination of chromosomes from the male and from the female which together create that first original uh entity which will become the embryo which will develop into the fetus which will develop into the baby so at some point not only is it Inseparable from the father and the mother it is the father and the mother but the Journey of a successful child is a journey from Oneness to separateness in a good way says as he say what means the BR is is the leg the the leg is the knee of the father and there's the yusha and there's the continuation so in that sense there's on one hand there's always a connection but on the other hand what type of connection is there it's a connection in which you want your child to become an independent person a separate person a child who wants to stay in the womb forever physically or conceptually it's not going to work it's not viable at some point you have to take responsibility the same is true conceptually I want to remain a baby forever my mother should feed me and at some point you know mother says so because of that Thea is always there but the AA can also be concealed and sometimes it could be very very concealed but because there is always love there's going going to be pain when there's a separation and the pain is that there is no connection the pain is that I don't feel the if there was no connection there would be no pain that's always the rule there's pain when there is connection there's something yeah if I don't care for you if you don't care for me so fine so there's separation the reason there is pain and so much pain between parents and children in some cases it's because there's there's so much connection or at least so much potential for connection and so much spiritual connection my mother is my mother my father is my father I could be at peace with it I could not be at peace with it but the connection is is non-negotiable it's a different type of connection it's essential and he says this is all a metaphor for the relationship between the je but that love can be an exile and it's replaced or at least substit it's not replaced really but it's compensated with all types of different passions and different different attachments and different connections to fill that void we discuss this at length and this is the beginning of the a like is the beginning of a relationship it's the kindness of Youth what is a means the ability to un blend to disentangle myself from all of the different things I'm puru uing so in order I should be able to stay with the raw motion and be curious what I'm really looking for even though there was no there was no transformation that was the main that we spoke about now Pim is going to go to the next level and that's defined by a marriage we started to talk about it in last week's class a marriage I I learned last a m from the that's the bat's grandson that focuses on this m and he explained it with more be with more explanations so he says they're a fascinating thing and actually I was I have to say I felt very gratified because I said it in the previous class and I just felt that that was the here and says it it's a fascinating thing he says by marriage the exact opposite it's the exact opposite of the relationship between parents and children parents and children the child begins as Inseparable from the father and mother biologically they this they're one physically and spiritually that's what it is it's not separate the Journey of of adulthood the Journey of maturity is to actually separate yourself right you can't start with separating yourself if we take out the fetus from the womb there's no fetus it must live and incubate and flourish and blossom and grow B for nine months in the womb of its mother and that's where it gets its entire sh you know if there is a pre if it's premature I mean especially in the olden days it was very difficult for it to survive because it needs that nourishment until it's ready like the chick if you take the chick out of the egg too early you you know you break open the egg so you have a blood drop you have a blood drop you have to wait till the chick is ready and then the chick breaks its way out so that that's the process that Hashem created so here the process of the child is from Oneness you go into a place of separateness but in order for the separateness to be able to be viable to be able to be healthy and sustainable you still hold on to that Oneness so a child even as an adult remains connected to a father and a mother of course there's different stages there's the way the child is in the womb there's the way the child is just born there's the way the child is an infant the way the child is a baby a toddler a youngster and then a teenager that one we all know that we all know and then hopefully hopefully you become a a mature adult and the relationship changes but the definition of the relationship now is you are a separate person if you tell a child you're not a separate person you don't have your own heart you don't have your own mind you're just me we understand what type of parent that is a great parent a healthy parent celebrates the autonomy of the child like told his son a mission adus per son wanted that father should take care of him and he asked his father before his death you know use your protection to help me out and he said no he said why you think I'm a bad kid he said no because I believe in you so that's the model in marriage the exact opposite the wife and the husband don't begin as one they begin da separate people in fact if they begin as one as one family you're not allowed to a brother is not allowed to marry a sister justly you can't marry yourself or your mother or your father that's that's the promiscuous relationship that the prohibits starts precisely as a separate person and the journey of marriage is from separateness to Oneness that even though and and both and you retain both even though we're separate people you are you and I am mine it has to be that way and that's how we were created and a husband who tells his wife I don't want you to have a personality I don't want you to think I don't want you to feel just be be me it's not going to work because you're not acknowledging the uniqueness of the relationship the uni of the relationship is that there is an other a there connect there's an other and from the other you create the Oneness so it's a so it's it's an opposite it's an opposite movement the opp the of the child is we're essentially one and then we go to separateness and the question is can we retain our Oneness in separateness by marriage we're essentially separate biologically separate people separate families separate communities could be separate continents separate countries but separate people on every level biologically and physically and socially and spiritually and psychologically and then there's AES it's aish and what's thees thees is that the despite the separateness can we choose and it's a choice you have to choose it cuz it's not essential and as we know you can unchoose it just like you choose it you can un choose it the that's why there nobody should ever need it but when somebody does need it do Allah it's a Mitzvah why because just a father and a son what are you going to do you can't give a get a brother and a sister you can't give a get you may want to but you can't this is what God this is this is part of you you know figure it out maybe you have to make boundaries whatever everyone has to figure out their situation you know fix things repair things a husband a wife they could be a get why because it was essentially a choice but that's its power the power is that it was a choice it's a choice to be from two people we're choosing one and that choice always has to be made that's the ver it has to be made you know it's not a choice you made 25 years ago so now you put it on cruise control a car you can put on cruise control a marriage you don't put on cruise control and if it is on cruise control it's going to be noticeable because what gives it its power is the Kish of it the newness of it the drama of it and the passion of it it is about passion it is about feeling the the parent and the child it's essentially one you feel fine great and you don't feel it's still a relationship and and the relationship can cause a lot of pain too because there's always a relationship and because there's always a relationship as much as I separate there is a connection there and I'm going to have to work on that however whatever the right thing is to work on there's different situations you know this is something where it begins as separate and now you choose a relationship that choice is constantly happening there's a from he says it's not a one time thing in even though you get married once but Hally it's considered what he calls a it's a that's constantly continuing he has a whole in the that by if you didn't make a before you can't make a after because once you did the Mitzvah you can't make a that even later you can make a he says why you did it already so he says obviously you did it but you continue to do it every moment so you can make a even a year later it's interesting huh yeah yeah there's a story that met a story it's this gu from he writes it in they were on as young as young people when they were Young's father sent him to uh to I think where what was he D the B was there I think of so he learned with I think for a year when they were around 13 or 14 years old so they knew each other so they say that they they once met writes this so writes that told him this this apparently didn't take to it didn't take to it he tells the ma so he says what's the masl he says according to you you just got married so I'm telling you Mas the honeymoon is never over by and why is that so he explains because whenever two opposites are coming together to become one you have to recreate it you know the laws of gravity dictate that the football should be on the ground if you want the football up it's not you're throwing it up it stays there in outer space it's going to stay but an hour in environment and our atmosphere is going to fall back down because that's the that's that's part of that's that's the N that's the nature of reality however you want to Define it you want to Define nature G throw it back up if you have a strong arm and you can put a lot of energy maybe you can keep it up in the air for a long time you know if you know how to throw the ball it can stay there if you're good at baseball so you know how to give a bat you bat the you you uh you get the ball out out out with tremendous ferociousness and power fine but at some point when your K when your energy is going to seize it's going to revert back to its innate default setting and what's the innate default setting you come back down connects it with the fact that it says that recreates the world every moment the says it's based on a why why because naturally Y and a are a paradox it's much more than getting the ball up getting the ball up the ball exists but you want the ball to fly balls don't fly you want them to fly throw them and as long as your K is in the ball it's going to fly as long as your k your energy is in the ball it's going to continue to fly when your energy is not there you want the ball to Fly ball sorry balls don't fly on their own your energy has the power to defy the laws of gravity and cause it instead to go downwards to go upwards galic so now understand when the whole entity is really iron you want to you want it to be so create it you're not creating it so what do you want should exist something that doesn't exist what do you want should fly Bulls don't fly existence don't take existence for Grant we take existence for granted don't take it for granted you see a football flying don't take it for granted there was a good quarterback who knew what he was doing don't take it for granted footballs don't just fly because I'm playing a game you see a baseball flying you say the guy has skill in other words whenever you want to create something that essentially is two you want to bring two opposites together you can do it but it has to re be recreated so you want yes and a to work you want from a in there to be yesh so every moment it's recreated don't take existence for granted so it's interesting that connects this to marriage cuz it's also two it's two a man and a woman are separate beings now you want them to be one no problem but you're defying nature so you have to do it every moment now sometimes people could see feel that this is a depressing thought but it's not it's a very powerful thought cuz you know why because it tunes into reality people get upset that they at some point their marriage was amazing they went on vacation or they had some time together and everything was amazing and then 3 weeks later they come back home they say when's When's the romance where did everything disappear to and the answer is they're expecting that cruise control works in marriages like it works in cars even on a car it only works if the highway is straight and there's no traffic if the highway is winding and there cars and there traffic it's not going to work you have to navigate things the the highway of life is a winding Highway there's ups and there's Downs there's changes here the cruise control you have to be very careful with it it's not going to work it's not sustainable in other words when you understand that an the default mode of marriages that they're going to drift apart cuz they're two separate beings she wasn't conceived in his womb he wasn't conceived in her womb sorry they were conceived by different mothers different cultures different families and they're separate people now you're doing a you're making a and the is from separateness you're creating Oneness [Music] says had to blow the wind the wind was blowing why Calla a whole night cuz that itself says because you want a sea to split sorry Seas don't split water is supposed to be water dry land is supposed to be dry land you want you got to get that wind to blow whole night and then it caused it to split so that's one of the maybe that's one of the it needs it needs renewal so you say I breathed yesterday I'm going to breathe today it doesn't work your marriage last week was good that was last week a Valic and there'll be a residue there'll be a Remnant but what about today and today itself the morning doesn't help for the afternoon and the afternoon doesn't help for the evening always [Music] yeah it's important for people to understand if they don't water the plant the plant is not going to survive if I don't replenish the oil the flame is not going to burn you say but I put an oil last week you put an oil last week so Kana the oil burned for 8 days days but usually doesn't burn for eight days you need new oil every night why because the fire is AES you want this Wick to be on fire no problem but give me oil you have to give me fuel the fire is not coming from a vacuum the same is true in life the fire the passion what he calls it the love of glowing coals it's something that is needs to be created that's why I explained the idea of unconditional love in a marriage often fails it's very much about how much you show up it's very much about the experience of it the feeling of it cuz essentially it's two separate people and there's so much that's necessary to build that trust and to be able to say no we're one no we're one we're one you have to understand that has to be said it has to be experienced because if we go back to our natural devices we're not one you take care of yourself I take care of myself you want me to believe in my core being that you got my back 1,000% you want to believe that I got your back 1,000% you have to show it I'll just add this in parentheses even though it's not the discussion here but it's always part of the discussion and that is if somebody is wired deep down that they can't trust anybody and that's not a foreign reality that's a very common thing if somebody's template the template of their personality is wired into them a message that they can't trust anybody in other words any person is already a threat and there's usually good reason why people are wire that way because of different experiences and perceptions as they grew up anybody is a threat so as long as you stay far away from me you're fine but the moment you get into my life you're a threat so now you can understand it's not just you're fighting the natural reality of two separate people but you're fighting the entire makeup of the person that essentially my loneliness is my protection it's my greatest defense mechanism my isolation is my rais on Dietra it's my Mo it's my mot saari it's the way I function maybe my my rais in the and my Mo because those are two separate things now for this the other person is not just defying nature it's defying my entire security system system that I have built up so now you're dealing with a whole new obstacle that has to be confronted I'm just mentioning this because people have to understand this fighting nature and nurture you're fighting nature and nurture very well and it could be my entire brain in in in Psychology it's called developmental trauma which means it's not just a person had a very difficult experience but in their whole development the way their brain developed was was was traumatized so their whole attitude to everything in life is is is is is experienced from a lot a lot of wounds that they needed to De and they needed to develop many coping mechanisms in order to survive and that plays itself out in relationships especially in intimate and close relationships there's many marriages I I I get a lot of emails about this unfortunately people went through stuff they never dealt with it when does it come out it comes out the first night of their wedding or the first week of their wedding or the first month Why didn't it come out till then because till then you know he was a b and she was a girl and they were living you know in the dormatory suddenly you know you have to start playing house so suddenly all the fears I can't ignore them anymore I'm facing the lion the lion just came into the room a year for five years the lion wasn't in the room I could make I could run away whenever I thought there's a lion coming I ran away I'm talking about a conceptual lion but here the lion came into the room what am I going to do now so either she runs or he runs and everything explodes it brings out the depth of the of the pain the depth of the wound you understand what I'm talking about everybody yeah unfortunately you understand H you don't understand okay even better you should never understand unfortunately I do understand that's true so it says in Zim says that a husband and a wife is PL it's like two halves of a body or two halves of a soul that's the idea of Adam and that's what we're going to see because Adam and really were one but I'm talking about so that's true in the source but the way it was the way they created and was separated and with each man and woman they grow up separately and they develop as separate beings and then they choose Oneness so it's true that Oneness brings them to a part of the are one that's true but a parent and a child even down here there's no Separation on the contrary be it starts with one and then it goes into separation and hits the opposite so here we have an interesting Paradox a parent and a child it's essentially one separation defies reality that's why it's painful because it's natural for a child to be close to parents every child wants to be close to parent every parent wants to be close to a child and if you don't want to it's because something was was was wounded in reality it's not like a child chooses to hate their father and mother I'm talking about a regular normal case and if there is such negativity there's a reason for it there's a wound there's a wound both ways and it's very very important for parents to know this like I said in the first class sometimes a child could say things that are very hurtful and if the child the father takes it personal it can create a disaster you can't take things personal because you have to know sometimes a child is going through stuff and you don't want to detach you don't want to separate sometimes a father start screaming because they were triggered very badly we understand it but they have to think is this going to help the relationship and therefore help the child or it's going to ruin the relationship and not help the child screaming you may be you may feel that you're a for screaming but it doesn't necessarily mean you're helping this child and especially the child is going through pain so it takes a lot of humility because people are not used to this there's parents that get upset when I say this in they say you know you you eliminated the whole mitvah the whole I say by you is a superficial Mitzvah it means that you scream at your child and your child says yeah yeah I'm so so sorry I respect you but deep down they hate your guts they don't want anything to do with you they will use every opportunity I told you once I was once in somebody's house oops up an event so the father so funny the father tells me I have he has 14 children k 14 children and he shows me a letter that they all signed and he laminated it and it's hanging in his d dining room like a picture they all signed that they're not going to have iPhones everybody signed that they're making they will never have an iPhone and they all signed it and he says this is Nas so I see there's only 13 signatures so I didn't say anything but when I went out I turned to one of the boys the children whom I know and I said why did you not sign he say cuz I'm the only one who doesn't lie I'm the only one in my family who doesn't lie do me that was his realas but he doesn't know that the father side you know about this boy he said one day he'll do CH he didn't realize now I don't know if he meant it literally that all of Brothers will be and say most of them signed what they meant and maybe he meant one or two I don't know I'm not getting into that it's not my point my point is is a real Mitzvah it's not a fake F huh fake identities they changed their name yeah they used to say why did y have seven names CU he had seven daughters with each wedding he went into bankruptcy so he got a new name so he had seven names if you made Seven weddings recently you know what I'm talking about you know y was a of a man in midan so he had to make a beautiful wedding you had to invite the G he had to have the best viene tables the best musicians and the best bar so of course he declared bankruptcy after every wedding so the natural state of the of the father and the child the parent and child is closeness when there's no closeness you have to ask why and he said that pain itself demonstr Gres the depth of the Love by a husband and a wife it's the opposite the natural state is we're separate people that's oh we became one why did we become one because we created trust with each other there's it's the commitment it's the Loyalty it's the dedication it's the feeling that we could rely on each other we could be vulnerable to each other we can Embrace each other we can beer for each other that creates a KES so it's not just unconditional it's reciprocal it's it's showing up every single day that's what makes its power so people shouldn't get upset that they didn't a few days pass and they feel like they drifted yeah of course you've drifted you have to you have to get married today you got married yesterday get married today everybody understands what I'm saying this is very very important marriage advice besides everything else charging your phone you have to keep on charging your phone I charged my phone yesterday it's dead the battery has a certain lasting time it's not an essential battery that lives forever so you say what is that but it's love love love love love love is a beautiful word what does love mean love is very vulnerable you want that my entire system should be able to feel that security and that Comfort people have to show it to each other they have to show it so yeah even if not hopefully there's trust and there's a residue from the past but it's not going to be the same we have a therapist that comes to the sh here in so he's a successful marriage therapist so he once told me that from all of his work and his experience he's learned I think he said he also heard it from others that essentially a couple needs to reconnect every three hours every 3 hours the husband and the wife need to reconnect emotionally to get guarantee each other that they're there for each other with love and dedication that's what that's what's necessary cuz once 3 hours passed without it they start drifting away now it sounded strange to me but but I realized that it's true it's true when you realize that then you respect it then you understand how things work and when you understand how things work you don't get perplexed that it's not working that way so I told them but it's not practical in most couples's lives three hours you know he's at work she's here she's at work she long H even the shear is longer than 3 hours so you should be texting the middle of the shear it's time to text the answer so you said you're right but but but if it's done you know 6 hours nine hours if it's done the same day the drifting is not so dramatic that it's so hard to bring back together so you get together at night you get together in the morning you have a conversation and you could reconnect it but if a day passes and then a second day passes and a three third day passes you'll see the difference you say well what's the big deal you don't say that with parents and children or with siblings you could meet your brother after a few weeks you haven't spoken in a few weeks and you continue the conversation where you were by the last malava Mal by the last family by the last family which was I don't know three years ago you continue the conversation oh you still have a house okay you need a loan I don't have sorry next Pastor sushi you tell your wife after 3 months let's continue the conversation where we were 3 months ago good luck why because it's a it's a different mechanism it's a mechanism that requires constant constant it's to and also what's necessary to build that trust is so profound you constantly need a reminder you const it's very vulnerable it it's putting your entire soul and Body on the line you need to have that assurance that somebody is here to contain me and it works both ways people often don't understand this they get frustrated don't get frustrated just you got to got to show up you got to do the work huh there's no you can't do this on a nap you can't do this on a nap yeah and then I understood then I realized Ah that's understood every few hours you got to reconnect if not you drift away I yesterday no today iav might yesterday but that's how it really in real relationships that's how it works but we had a good relationship yesterday yesterday I had a good relationship but are you hear from me today since life is a daily battle for Transcendence it's a daily Journey for Transcendence it's a daily a daily uh effort to go into a deeper space that doesn't happen on its own there will be a residue there'll be a Remnant no question there'll be on a but the conscious experience of it every few hours is more or less every few hours you have the morning then a few hours later you have midday and then a few hours later you have Nightfall and then you go to sleep but I I understood it then why they make three fillis a day you know a lot of people don't like it like okay it's better than the Muslims you know they have five today I once said that Muhammad obviously wasn't a reformed Jew if he was a reformed Jew instead of copying y Kipper you know he copied yipper so he made five a day and then he made a whole month of fasting if it would have been a Jew changing the religion you know from three a day you do one a week and from fasting uh four times a year you know you fast a half a day a year but okay but it's hard for people but when we understand the it's a whole different in so that's what he's going to say in P giml that here the relationship is daa one of passion onlys cuz they want a 24/7 not of huh no compartmentalization texting in middle of daving would be like going out with your wife for a special moment and you're busy texting to a friend yeah it's not the it's it's not the texting is that the person is in a state of mind that they want to text that's the issue texting maybe there's an emergency you have to text that's the issue you understand when people attack the texting of daving they're attacking the wrong thing it's like when people attack don't talk during daving don't talk during daving but the issue is yeah you having it's the fact that I'm in a state of mind where I'm so not present that yeah oh the conversation yeah let me go to this conversation that's the issue that's harder to address when I'm just attacking the talking toing I'm just attacking the symptoms it's Theus the state of mind that's addressing the people but for that you have to teach people what daving is that's much harder than to scream at people not to talk during daving huh that's all the sh the shs all the sh [Music] a okay so let's now see [Music] inside we could talk about this a lot but this is a very very important the p b was the AA the love of children with parents here he says another and this is the love of a wife to a husband the love of spouses by Nature this love is designed to be fiery to be passionate that's the nature of it and when it's not that way they're both feeling there's something off this is this this is the nature of the love it's the choice that they made remember essentially they're not one a choice that they make because there's a so there's a passion here there's a there's a yearning that only happens with one condition I'm I don't have other desires I'm not busy with other people this line we could sit for another few hours on there's only one way to create this and it's called a th% trust not 99% 99% trust is not trust people don't realize that it's not trust it's 99% of good things but it's not trust trust is 100% you understand said but at 99 there was a therapist that once told me there was a therapist who told me a woman came into therapy with her husband what was the issue he gets very angry and he's unpredictable when he's angry and he starts throwing dishes in the kitchen the guy starts throwing imagine he throws dishes on the window towards his wife towards the kids towards the walls and she says she's petrified she's petrified she's overwhelmed she can't live with this person so they came to therapy so the therapist tells me he turns to the husband and he says what do you say he says I don't know what she's upset about it happens only once a month he knew and it was true she did once a month he loses it once in 30 days it's once in 30 days so the therapist turns there she says that's true it's once in 30 days but I don't know when I don't know when is going to be the moment it's not like I could prepare Monday morning in middle of he's going to lose it you know what I mean 8:00 in the morning so 8:00 in the morning she can go for yoga for three hours until he finishes his Mish it can happen anytime so a whole month I'm anxious the guy was saying it's once once a month what do you want he had it figured out you know once a month I go crazy so you say but it's once a month it's five minutes a month it's irrelevant those five minutes a month Define the whole month people say you have 99% trust that 1% of no trust defines the whole month out it cancels it out it's not trust anymore it's not trust it's a different inion it means when you're in the mood 99% of the time you happen to be in the mood it's not nice but it means you're in the mood there's no trust there's no real trust there was no [Music] surrender H days [Laughter] exp I'm not going to repeat that for everybody to hear they asked me to repeat questions so people can hear but not every question do you have to repeat certainly not every comment what happens in uh forche stays on forche if you're talking about a hidden love a love that's an exile then I can have many other desires the love to God that is embedded in your soul does not get compromised even when you have a million other distractions and desires because it's intrinsic it's innate and it's they're embedded in the DNA of the of the Nish but the love that's passionate is about the conscious love and if I'm busy with other desires I can never even get there cuz I'm distracted with other stuff and every fire that's a different type of fire takes away from this fire either my passion is here my passion is there either my passion is invested in distractions or my passion is invested in Oneness it can be both so now he describes so this is the is one with his passion with his conscious with the conscious passion he doesn't have other so you'll say but a person does have other a person does have other so then they go back to the first love yeah there is a love where I have other and what's going to happen usually is I'm not going to be able to experience that innate love until I don't stop distracting myself the more I distract myself the more I become entangled in those things that's why you cannot get to which is transformation without a has discussed you're talking about the relationship between the Jew and this is through this is what learning with you I desire nothing on Earth what was his experience I have you I don't need anything else that's a relationship we spoke gim about Min you remember what I said about Miner that Al's wife said Min mine what was she feeling mine and went into from this he never heard this before and he said that from he said to go out of to see God go out of yourself and it happens through he told his wife and he said and his wife helped him see this that it's a relationship called Min you're [Music] mine I have you I don't need anything else I don't desire anything else so that means this is so filling this is so satiating why should I go somewhere why should I go somewhere else and here you see the relationship is it's not don't go to other places so you'll be able to have this that's aafia that's the first stage sometimes you need that you have to choke the the the leak you have to get rid of the leaks you know a person is bleeding the blood is coming out from everywhere the first thing you got to stop it because you can't go s look for the The Source you have to go there but first you have to stop the bleeding because there's not going to be a person left that's always a SCF you but the the real inion the real I have you why should I go anywhere else what am I going to get there we we're only going somewhere else because there's a void I'm not experiencing the Bliss once I have you it's too good it's to where you going this is what tells your is to to your husband which also means your fire that's where your craving is that's what a marriage looks like a marriage looks like I have you why I don't want anything else this is what it's capable of looking like you're thinking who is this guy talking to that's not something you forcing yourself every day it's not forcing yourself was not forcing himself it was expressing himself what are you what are you distracting me with it's it doesn't work it's it's work it's superficial I have the source and you want me to go compensate it with some broken fragmented scattered pus why [Music] uh this is it's interesting how everything in is connected does it say anywhere this expression the name of his wife so the end of it speaks about the king of Edom so when he speaks about the kings of Edom so he speaks about all the seven Kings of Edom and each one died and there was a new king so it says and then there was a new king and he came from po the name of his wife was the name of his wife was MAV the daughter of MRE the daughter of M which means water of gold so the love of the love of marriage is like the power of gold versus silver Z is like the color of fire it's the fire it's the passion the the daughter of M the daughter of M interesting Nam the word comes the Word occupation like you're you're overwhelmed this love is so overwhelming it's such a you don't have space for another love this is the type of love with it's such an so intense I can't go anywhere else sorry my mental space is completely consumed that's what Bliss looks like it's completely consumed where do you want me to go you want me now to I don't have space for another enjoyment this with all your heart not a piece of your heart with all your heart this is because the's desire like a glowing fire like it says the Flames are elevated when you Kindle the Flames spiritually this love could be experienced through says is considered the day of the the day of the wedding says at the end of his life he gave the T from his right arm the fire of religion soal was given with black fire on top of white fire so you see that it's all about the fire this is and this is the day of the it's not just the day of Engagement it's not just the day of betral it's the day of remember there's AIS and is they're married but they're still living in separate homes today we do it all together but the that's when they become one this is the I drank my wine with my milk earlier he spoke about a I ate my Honey Combs with my honey and he compared it to the first type of Love here it's I drank my wine with my milk compared to wine compared to milk your love is better than Wine in the beginning of the song of songs the love is greater than everything and it comes from the wine which is called the wine of this is the deeper meaning it says when and were created so theuk over there a very profound but there's now one series of that that Al is now going to focus on it says that Hashem creates Adam he puts a soul into him he puts him in the garden he tells him you can eat from everything besides one tree and then he says it's not good that Adam is alone it's not good he needs an assistant he needs AER he needs help he needs help he needs a partner so what happens Hashem puts Adam to sleep he takes one of his sides right one of his sides and then he fills the void with flesh and he builds that into the woman he builds that part of the into the woman and he brings her to Adam Adam who already met all the animals and all the birds and all the mammals and he gave them names says finally this time there's a bone of my bones and Flesh of My Flesh that's why she's called is because she was taken from ish finally I found somebody who's me it's a bone from my bones and a flesh for my My Flesh with all the animals that he knew and he connected to and he appreciated and he named them but he didn't find his soulmate here that's why the name is is which is taken from is because they're one and the continues and therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and connect to his wife they become one flesh and the end of the par this is the end of they were both without clothes and they weren't ashamed this is all the connection she comes from him it's a bone of bone they're they're and they're not ashamed what happens in piml the snake decides now to introduce new issues into the relationship right and now he comes to and he says I got something m better than this you know than this uh than this Adam of yours he introduces a whole new V on Sha and we're still deal we're still dealing with the serpent so fascinating Al takes these series of and he sees it of course like everything in there's there's the body and there's the soul so you're talking about a man and a woman but like everything the man and the woman are a mirror of the man and the woman above so that's what he's now going to discuss these whenever it says it's it's the higher it's the superal it's the Divine on the throne an image of so he says says what's P literally means this time this time I you finally got it right you know this time I could marry her rash's is Rashi says that had intimacy it's interesting rash it's from the med he had intimacy with every animal and with every he wasn't satisfied what does that mean says not a few behas every beh really you know how many behas there are and this is before the marble they were even more [Music] Beamers so obviously the maral discusses this maral of Prague and other even the on the spot says you know kazal spoke a lot of metaphor b means there is a kinship between a human being and animals we have a kinship with every animal and the reason is it say in Ecclesiastes the whole world is in the human heart so there's a piece of the world in our heart when I look at a tree I'm not looking at someone separate something separate from me I'm looking at myself we have a kinship with every part of nature because our job is to repair and sublimate all of nature so there's no that's not inside of you and it's not connected to you so there's a kinship between a human being and every insect every reptile every fish every mammal every bird every Beast there's a kinship but it's not it's not but it's not a bone of my bones and it's not a Flesh of My Flesh but there's a relationship there's a deep relationship to the point that Adam could think that this is his marriage partner and then he says it's not that's how profound the relationship is but it's still not the relationship of marriage so now he explains the thing what does it mean spiritually says is called brings the is called why is called this this refers to something that's exposed right like means it's here so he says in the future the to will be revealed will be exposed from all the gments and from the physicality of it what does this mean the way the t is the T is dressed up it's camouflage than a lot of when a person learns to they could learn it says in could learn only the of only the Goof of it's like I see only your body I don't have your soul a person could learn and learn and learn and learn they know all the but they're touching only the of T it's the T the way it's camouflaged in it's the Goof of T it's it's true it's the body of TAA but inside the Goof every L contains within it the pus of the [Music] L let's see after the parenthesis maybe we'll come back but I want to go after the parenthesis the parenthesis goes for like six or seven lines what does mean AF a means means even right even now even the way the is even now it's still don't think that now when it's in it's not even now actually which essentially will be revealed even now even now the way it is in many when you're learning you think you're learning about physical things but the EMS is it's still it's pous this is the core Divine will B is red which represents the whole which is filled with stringencies and differentiations is the core will of that's the way the comes out in the buer in the flesh it's full of flesh but it's also B which represents G redness because all differentiations understanding exactly if the is this way the is that way and to be stringent about this and all of the everything that added all the all theas ab and therefore now you could call her is what's is is is the fire of this is the love of fire because she was taken from the ish itself it's not separate so even though the is looks like something separate that's what you said but really she was taken from is it's not separate that's why their Destiny is to be with each other so this is a mus also for even the way the isig you're learning the whole that what's you're learning you're learning about somebody living in my house or in my field and the question is they're there for 2 years 3 years is it theirs is it not their so you're learning about a house you're learning about civil debates and disputes it's my house it's not my house where's the deed why did you lose thear did you protest did you not protest that's the Goof of you're dealing with very physical things two people fighting over property over a real estate you're learning another so my my were two you with two people fighting over a cloak you say it's yours I say it's mine or my ax gourd your cow and your cow is pregnant and the question is did my ax kill also the fetus of the cow also the calf where the calf was was was born before and it died on its own I'm just giving an example right or any the the way it's expressed the body of it it's very concrete it's technical things and there tremendous and depth and Etc that itself you have have but you have the truth is every we learned this many times every many other every is really it's a Divine it's divine will it's divine logic it's the way hasem thinks is called it's divine wisdom even a that gets rejected it's divine logic it's it's the way hasem looks at the world and therefore every if you go deeper and deeper and deeper it's it's divine it may come out in where we're fighting over a house or we're talking about a technical physical material issue could it could be in business or could be about a field it could be about plants or whatever the is be learning be learning be learning but whatever it is of it is pous it's a so zo it's going to come out cu it's there but even the way it's now you should know it's it has the whole it's my flesh it's my bone it's divine it's not just it's not and therefore it's Isa it's a so it's through TI that one experiences this type of relationship just like physically there was something in that could give to Adam and Adam could give to that nobody else in the world could give them nobody else there was a way that they can understand each other that nobody else can understand them because it's the other animals can also have a relationship you can appreciate them they can appreciate you but it's not it's not that's why it's sometimes easier for people to have pets than to be married because the pet doesn't have to know about your the spouse is looking for youram so if you're not comfortable with youram it's better to stay with a pet by the way it's not it's not such a joke what I'm saying now a marriage is much more challenging than a pet because it's touching places ofum and places ofm are very vulnerable they're very very deep but there's a part that has a relationship only through this so will say what does the have to do with a relationship with the Divine relationship with the Divine is a transcendental experience he says no it's even though it came out in a completely different because it's physical that's why it creates Ace on this the says gave from his mouth comes the because when a person learns and it becomes part of his mind especially if he remembers it and it doesn't get forgotten in other words he learns it well he absorbs it so he's taking in the he's taking in the which is is he's taking it into his mind and it becomes part of him so is absorbed in him that's like the Tipper the sperm the seed that comes from the brain of the father and gets infused into the woman which creates the fetus so the AL says that the is like the ti it's like hashem's hashem's seed it comes from him himself even though it's a physical Tia now it's not anymore the brain or the soul of the father it came into a physical seed but this physical seed has something in it that is incredible it has the power it has the genetic the genetic chemistry that has within it the blueprint or half of the blueprint of the child so this tipa has the atmus right a father could do a lot of other things but nothing has his atmus his Essence like the Tia like the seed it looks like a regular seed the mishna calls it a tied but this tip has in it the because this is going to be the source of a child so even though it's a physical tip but it's not so physical it has within it the deepest power of the self the deepest self isn't this tip a father could speak for hours and reveal all of his wisdom but that speech is not going to create a child and This Ti physical but this Tipper hasn't it the ability to to create a new life together of course with the egg so the it's the is that comes from the is so when a person absorbs it he's absorbing that tip what says right afterwards they were both without clothes naked what does this mean what's the connection so he says something because the is was taken from the is they don't need clothes through this love which is fiery remember is and Isa is from the word is why why is is and Isa from the word a because that's the definition of the relationship fire it's very interesting a but it's fire says because this love this love divests you from all other desires from all alien desires you're means what mean the removes his clothes he's ma himself he strips himself that's also what the word p means what does pus mean Simplicity what makes something simple you strip it away from complexities means it's it's divested it's removed from all the covers from all the explanations from all the intricacies sometimes you know is the Simplicity is the core like you say tell me P don't give me all your tit so the word mu means to divest something to strip something you say a person strips themselves physically it means you strip yourself from your garments what does this mean in a relationship what are they stripping from my desires for this my desire for this my desire for that these are all things that cover me up and keep me in clothes and now I can't connect to you with my core self I could only connect to you because I have so many other garments it's not a cold war or a cold love what makes love cold I love you but it's cold why is it cold why is it not hot because this the other things going on I promise you your whole fire is not there you you have eggs in different baskets when you have eggs in different baskets this is this is this is the real stuff when you have eggs in different baskets so the fire is diluted and if you have a lot of eggs in a lot of baskets the fire is very diluted and if so many eggs are in different baskets maybe there's love but it's cold it's cold it's not hot it's not passionate why because I'm still connected to things I'm still looking for other things it's not I don't trust it fully this is not a judgment that means there's no full TR I can't trust us so yeah I'm looking for here I'm looking here I'm looking there when I don't know my soul when I don't know the power of my soul when I don't know the goodness of my soul when I don't know the Bliss of my soul when I don't have that marriage with my soul I need other friends to fill that void and that's where the animal Soul takes over and says oh this is good this is good this is good this is good it's all because I don't know the true beauty and grander of my own my own depth my own my own core my own Divinity the person is in a state ofaf which is big but I'm still busy with so many other desires that I have to disentangle from and it's the beginning cuz aafia means I'm still busy subd so my full fire can't come out but when there's the love where there's transformation of Darkness not only disentanglement from Darkness un blending from Darkness but transformation of Darkness so I have one desire only only connection I don't have any other garments that I'm dressing up with I don't have alien garments I got rid of all those garments my core pristine self is connected it's not covered because I'm not covered therefore I'm not looking for other stuff this arousal From Below creates an arousal above just like a husband and a wife they trigger each other in a positive way thei says when comes your teacher won't be eclip from the word is the conf the clo your teacher won't be behind clothes that's without clothes so right after this what's the next scene and are both har and without clothes will be revealed without you'll experience the intimacy with the Divine in every so so you Ty is the whole inion here this is what it means Hashem it's all a metaphor says this is my bones this is B this is who I am I'm not another person in I will meet me in in knows I will meet me which part of me that's why it's isan Isa so why are there filters this filters because I don't trust that I'm going to meet me I'm going to surrender to you and I'm going to lose me I'm going to get hurt I'm going to get wounded so what do I do I have to put on clothes I have to protect myself I have to put on a bulletproof vest or at least a thick sweater don't get too close here we're learning what intimacy is intimacy is trust it's not just physically removing clothes that's one thing there's something even harder emotionally removing clothes how do you remove emotional clothes that's what that's hard emotional close what does that mean I'm coming to a relationship dressed up intimacy is into me see whoever made the word knew what they were doing into me see that means complete openness that's vulnerable vulnerable vulnerability in the deepest the deepest sense can only happen when there's absolute trust so now I could put everything here and Adam felt this this can happen so he leaves his father and his mother why do you leave your father and mother Alcan what's alkan there's something he's gonna have in marriage that he didn't have with his father and mother with his father and mother he met himself but he never met his he never met his say deep stuff your father and mother is you but it's not your ATM the ATM you're going to meet in the stranger who never knew you that's where you can eat your ATM it's easier to stay in my mother's house and get bubble baths and fresh uh warm cinnamons I'm going to meet here so leave your father and mother they'll become one flesh got the message they weren't ashamed what there was no shame what would be the shame everyone learns a shame cuz you're without clothes before for the snake there was no shame but there's a deeper shame self shame self shame is deeper than the shame of others trust me the shame of people is a limited shame the shame of self is infinite when you're ashamed with yourself oh my God taking off your clothes to yourself forget about that other person did you ever see yourself did you ever see yourself Adam could look at and could look at Adam the way they looked at each other because they were ready to look at themselves when you're ready to look at yourself so could see you Adam could see youself can't see other no if I look at myself through clothes I'm going to look at you through clothes I'm not going to let you look at me any other way subconsciously but of course not how could I if I'm embarrassed with me I'm going to let you if I can't deal with me I want you to deal with me the question is how many clothes are we wearing my friends they call the Defenders how many Defenders how many internal Defenders defense mechanisms do those are those are the Lush we're talking about I'm not talking here about a jacket and a tie could take I could take off my jacket I could take off my tie I could take off my shirt it's not so hard to take off your shirt especially I sweat a lot but we're talking about different L theim that we construct in our brain those are much harder to take off Adam could not take off his Lush with anybody else because it was shame and this could only happen when myus when I'm dressed up in other meaning I'm running away from the core self I'm also running away from your core self because you and's is one but for this he has to get in touch with his so this is a whole fascinating world where what happens is because I don't know who I am I develop all of these different types of Desires in life to be able to give me some sense of meaning or purpose or Comfort or satisfaction that take me further and further and further away from my core rather than bringing me closer to my core so the first step is aafia you got to put a break I got it disentangled because if I'm running to every desire I'm just going to get distracted and overwhelmed I'm never going to know who I am it's precisely by pausing by Breathing by going into the core of the desire where I could bring it back and then slowly does the process of transformation and in transformation I'm not looking for anything else and then everything is on fire then you're on fire of course you're on fire it's a very emotional stuff cuz this requires a lot of disentangling and a lot of safety a lot of safety this is the m they should have learned last night [Music] what no there was a program that he sent me about Judaism and and deeper spiritual experiences and psychological experiences so and this is the whole that's what he's saying the tipa represents the intimacy between the husband and the wife the other man the intimacy between man and God is an intimacy of bliss it's an intimacy of passion and wasn't a repressed person he was a very passionate person nobody doubts that about so when he says with you I don't desire anything else it's not because he didn't have desire he wasn't a dead man he was a passionate person David is the symbol of passion you know he was a redhead right it says about him kazal saying San that when saw him he got afraid he said he reminds me of asov so told him you're right he's like as the difference is won't kill because he's impulsive ASA kills cuz he's impulsive would it show something that as and D were connected there's a lot of passion there eded is Red Gold right he's talking about gold knew what passion is but he said there's not going to be any passion in the world like you so where am I looking what am I going I'm looking for everything because I don't know my not only that I'm ashamed for my so now I create the whole life philosoph and triggers in order to comfort me in these garments so and I put on another garment every day to block more and more and more but in a real relationship take all the and look at you stop the shame stop the shame self shaming does nothing for anybody it just makes people put on more and more and more garments whenever you shame somebody yeah you know when you come to that and you and you say you know that word such a beautiful word it's beautiful when people are not dealing with shame when they're dealing with shame it's one of the worst things your brother when he was herea used to learn 19 hours a day your brother this is not the nice way of saying it right it's it's nice but what does the boy go away with I'm the loser in the family you know what I mean the the busher the busher the inner busher that kills there's no self core there's no celebration of self it's not the guy's fault that's what's done to him so he does it to the next Generation he doesn't know anything better he doesn't mean bad he's trying to be actually nice and encouraging but that's how you encourage is the only thing that allows people to be without there's no way you're going to be without clothes with when you have shame I'm just not going to do it it's too scary my animal soul will not do it when there's shame so how do we get rid of the shame H anybody knows experientially how do we get rid of the shame how do we get rid of the shame you haven't figured it out yet huh you have a scientific recipe I'm talking about an experiential recipe not through quantum mechanics you you're going to write a computer program to get rid of [Laughter] [Music] Shame be open and are also open Shame Shame right yeah we're afraid we're afraid isce right same story again and again until it's still yeah what's the name of the group wow the shame and the shame is inherited and sometimes it's bequeathed to me at such a young age and and not necessarily in in in because of Cruelty you know it's just boom and how much how how much is our religion entangled with shame you know how much is yish today entangled with how much percent of yish is bequeathed through shame and not because of bad people it's just what else do we know like of course was three weeks but what's the inner message here so now you want a person to F that feel that Bliss and love I don't even know who I am so this must come without any bush and then youram can open once youram opens you realize you don't need the other itus all the other itas are garments because I'm trying to cover up who I am so it's fascinating all I'm looking for is don't see me and I shouldn't even see me and that's what those desires are so is revealing it that all theas that people have are often their way of getting away from themselves CU they don't want to see themselves and certainly they don't want anybody else to see them and let's face it God could be a big one God becomes an opium I'm no of Carol marks but God could become could become an opim an opim for running away from myself it's a great escape and you know what it's a powerful Escape too because it's for this world it's for next World it guarantees you everything the only thing is stay away from your own truth and that's it and what Al is saying is the exact opposite the search for God is the search for the deepest core for the deepest self for the most authentic for the naked naked naked beer self when you lay yourself completely beer it could be very scary and then why I don't have any other I'm not looking for anything else all I want is you that's what said yeah I don't want I don't even want I want to say on this he used to even that which is with you I don't want literally means with you I don't want anything else even that which is with you I don't want I want you I don't want your clothes I want you I don't even need your clothes I don't need your I don't I want you so what is that in he says that's the that's the that's the of it's that's the the experience in that real is pure intimacy no and therefore the whole which is going to be revealed the of is p where does that come from it comes from this that I don't want any garments so God says okay I'm also getting rid of my garments you took off your garments he takes off his garments but now let's finish these last few lines here so you could think but now in the learning it's not like that so he says no even now with the is filled with [Music] garments even now now it's still we're still both without close when a person immerses in your soul is enclosed in ta my mind my body my soul is enclosed in I'm inside of and then is also inclosed in that's learning means for her name for her sake for the what does it mean learning for the [Music] T teing I'm learning for the sake of the to bring the into the you're doing something for the comes into the so and the person learning are dressed in one say when a person learns hem is also learning so when I'm immersed in the a is immersed in TOA so what happens we're now dressed in one garment it's like two people who are covered ah two people are covered there's one cloak Mish that's covering them and they're under it they're under that Talis says that's what learning is but this means I don't have other clothes if I have other clothes I'm not in one Talis with you I'm coming in with my clothes so you may be in that Talis but I'm already under with other clothes so this means I have to be stripped from other from all my other person has other desires alien desires and garments that are filthy at least relative to the purity of my soul throws in says in I think it's somewhere in if a man or a woman make a deal they want to get married but who I'm staying in my garment and she stays in her garment a guy says I don't take off my clothes for anybody sorry so I'm happy to be married to you and to do everything that a husband and a wife do together but I remain in my garment either he makes the deal or she makes the deal so the is she could say sorry this is not a marriage he has to pay a full give a divorce in other words this is grounds for a divorce why why everything else they're doing the answer is because a marriage means the trust that comes from removing the it's not a marriage so how he applies this G with god with has it's the same thing I come and I say I come with my beg and you come with my begot it's not a marriage a marriage means that people can take away take off their garments and of course he's not here physically and I think it's somewhere else but this if a couple Mak such a deal either a husband or a wife he has to pay a full he can't say I'm not giving you a it's your problem no it's his problem what does this mean emotionally coming into a marriage means that both people are ready to be able what's so funny that both people are ready to confront is not here that they were both it's [Music] essential you're confronting that part that's a lot of vulnerability I say I don't want then you're not ready for for marriage I I get it you're not ready for marriage OTV thinks so or she's not ready for marriage fine what is this with Hashem the relationship of marriage can't happen if I'm dressed up cuz then I show up but I'm not showing up I'm so I'm showing up like you're the second fiddle you're you're you're the second it's not happening cuz I'm busy with other things I'm distracted with other every other is a it covers up the the marriage can only happen when theum is not covered up when a person has the courage to stop all the leaking and say which can only come when they know who they are and they feel theum and they know that this is the only Bliss that they want then from above you're going to have the same response so even now when I'm learning you're learning a now you're learning M now whatever you're learning in don't think because it's in so it's not he says no you're both going into the same l so you're being covered by the same garment that's called intimacy with God no intimacy as powerful as that intimacy two people under the same cloak me and hasem under the same cloak I'm learning it he's learning it we're both involved in the same L that's intimacy even that's the power of but for this I have to be able to be without other clothes without other Le that's that's what intimacy is if not I'm learning the T but I'm still coming with othered this comes back to what he says I don't want to be embarrassed going to the flocks of your friends nurturing from their flock from the word I don't want to have that shame there's no shame whenever I am not loyal to myself there's going to be shame and usually that's what all shame comes from all shame is that I was told that I'm betraying I'm betraying me I'm betraying and when I can really make peace with me and know I'm not betraying anybody then I I'm I'm not going to betray anybody so there's no shame that's what we say every morning in daving before we should never be embarrassed for eternity what does it mean for eternity never be embarrassed why should you be embarrassed for eternity so the explains in he says you shouldn't be ashamed in the presence of Eternity in other words when all the garments will be stripped away and you're going to see everything how you're going to feel we're praying every day what a prayer when I'll be able to see everything I'll be able to be fully fully present to life how much shame will I have am I living in a way today that when all the doors of perception are cleansed when all the camouflage is removed when all the paint is eliminated when all my bulletproof vests are gone and I'm going to see my Essence you're going to see my Essence am I going to look and say oh my God my entire life I was busy running or I'll be able to say so this is a prayer it's a prayer to live a life that is so authentic that is so real that I could become comfortable with my nakedness so if you knew everything about me if you knew everything about me if I knew how would I feel about that what do you think about this some people run their whole life from this point their whole life they're running from this even more if you knew everything about yourself if you knew everything about yourself it's even harder sometimes the truth is if you knew everything about yourself you know what you're going to find out you're going to find out that youram is beautiful it's innocent you're an innocent innocent Angelic young girl or young boy as pure as as as Infinity that's where you find out what do you mean but look what I did look what I'm involved in look what I think look what I'm busy with look what I did yesterday those were allim you put on because you didn't know who you were so you forgive you release and you strip yourself from it this doesn't even I don't need starts with goes to and then you could say there's no life like a life that is devoid of Shame what type of Shame are we talking here about deep deep inner shame I told you we turn shame into a religion sometimes we don't know how to bring people to do things without shaming them we shame them we do it in very clever ways like we do we're so smart about it we shame people in clever ways we shame our children we shame our students and of course we shame ourselves constantly imagine you can get rid of Shame now people think shame is like Holiness because without shame you know we're all going to become like murderers we'll become serial killers but we're not talking here about bushes the shame of of the awe the reverence we're talking here shame in a negative way the shaming that causes you to wear clothes that block you constantly and never to be able to have an authentic relationship what does it mean what does it mean to live with it means that when you talk to people you don't have to have clothes you don't have to have coverups you could be authentic this doesn't mean that every person you meet you have to tell them everything that's going on in your life I mean it's not usually practical we're not talking about but we're talking about that those Rel that the person lives without without there's no manipulation there's no exploitation there's no there's no coverups there's no Lush this is what it's all about sometimes you meet people that come from communities where these communities in their origin were based on these Concepts [Music] and there's the most shame there of anybody saying anything honest about themselves you understand what I'm saying huh yeah yeah yeah yeah okay so it's already 3 hours so you could text whoever you have to text and uh do what you have to do and everybody have a beautiful day tomorrow morning B hasem we will have a woman's class 9:30 and we will continue the M on Thursday morning 7:45 a.m. if I'm going to tell the woman the same thing THS morning Thursday morning yeah thank you for coming everybody oh interesting who's your friend who know your nice you're saying re is the same letters like ra yeah because I know everything like my friend a friendship means that you know [Music] everything nice and the truth is the word ra comes from the word which means broken so I guess to be a friend is you could connect with somebody in broken places not just in the whole places you should love all the broken parts too that's a beautiful interpretation May the the first yeah I'm