Rabbi YY Jacobson: If You Try to Understand Your Spouse, You Missed the Boat

today we begin a new mimer in honor of chanukah this week we begin to celebrate beijing's borough the festival of lights the festival of liftike the holiday of brightness chanukah 5 7 81 chanukah of 2020 hanukkah that will have and has 2020 vision so not just light but light with 20 20 perspective if you didn't open your source sheets yet please open or download or print out your source sheets if you go to the yeshiva.net and you see today's class it should say monday exidus on top of the video on the right is a blue icon source sheets or below the video on the left is a red icon pdf which allows you to download or open up the source sheets let us begin this is a mimer a discourse a mimery in khasidis that was presented by the labachi rebbe on shabbos parishes mccates shabbos hanukkah roy schroeder of the year toffshin 1969. when i say a mimer the word mimer sometimes a person asked what's a mimer the word mimer is a translation of course comes from the word imer but mimer was the word that was used in chabad and in other places as well for a discourse a presentation of a indian asu a concept an idea an experience in the world of siddhis it was called my maryam you'll say the altareb so this is from as i said shabbos it opens up as every mimer opens up either with a pasek pasiken hummish or naveem or ksuvim or it opens up with a mimer khazal a statement of our sages for example in gemara or mishna or madrish or sometimes with a tfila with one of the languages one of the texts of davanic the allah we have a special insert in order to commemorate and celebrate hanukkah so we begin it begins for the miracles for the liberation for the strengths for the salvation for the wonders which you have performed for our forefathers in the days of your but during this time now there are there are some variations in this text of ala nisba purcha the rebbe here is doing the nusa of the arizona the nusa of the balatanya in in the siddha because you know some advancements there's just some variations just not to get confused there's the generic opening for hanukkah and purim which is identical ala nissimala perkinalak voice outros this is one of those jesus loves man you do that on chanukah and you say it on purim as well but then it branches off it branches off into two different texts one is the text for chanukah one is a text for say on chanukah this is hanukkah so we're not discussing putting so the mind starts which is the general text but then he gets into the specifics afterwards we say um in the days of matisyah matasio was the son of jochena kaihin goddel he was the high priest he was also known as the kashminoi matasya was known as the kashmir and during the days of his children so this is during the era of mates yo the son of yochanan and his children when the kingdom malchus is the empire the kingdom of yavin harisha the wicked regime or kingdom of greece in that case it was syrian the syrian greeks which was one of the branches of the large greek empire that alexander the great created more than a century before chanukah so when this empire stood up on your nation israel to make them forget your torah and to compel them to violate the statues of your will the laws of your will that's the language we say in violence every day of hanukkah a few days two times a day so remember the words if you if you need a prayer book you need a city you can open it up if it's an english translation you'll see it there it's an insert during the prayers and during the grace after meals and my father-in-law the rabbit the baby is quoting here an explanation of his father-in-law he calls him my father-in-law the rebbe known as the sixth sun who passed away in 1950 on new york she says my father-in-law explained tess acidic discourse that he said in tough pay tess that's 1929. he has recently left the soviet union after being arrested almost almost his life was almost taken exiled beaten and then liberated and then he left russia so this is a short time afterwards he left russia at the end of uh the end of 27. it's like a year later she says in this of 1929 he explains she called it saying them shall i evolve we have to tune into these words meticulously he says the the real whole ambition of the greeks was to make the jewish people to compel the jewish people to forget god forbid that the torah is divine it's hashem's tower i know what does this mean it's a fascinating interpretation the greeks for the most part at least in principle and philosophy didn't have a problem with the intellectualism of tyra the intellect of terror the logic of this they were fine in fact it was ptolemy who wanted the toyota to be translated into the 70 languages known today as the septuagint which is a translation of targum hashem he had 70 jewish sages come and translate the toyota into greeks the into the greek language so that the greeks who were men of culture and some of them great philosophers should be able to understand it and appreciate it in other words greece in its heyday represented culture a dedication to aesthetics a dedication to architecture very deeply involved in physique and human body and a person's looks and enlightenment and so-called progress they celebrated the mind they were the first playwrights that we know of some of them literary giants they believed in recording history that's where the beginning of recorded history comes from in terms of the larger society jewish people recorded history already much before that says foundation of the jewish people is vega you have to tell the story you always have to tell the story but the greeks they were not just a barbaric sadistic nation a boorish nation that believed in illiteracy no that's what the devil says here that his father-in-law did the rebel yachts explained that the ivanim agreed they were fine with a person trying to understand the logic of the religion called judaism it's also philosophy people of philosophy people of philosophy are interested in understanding different philosophies tita has sexual there's there's a logic there there are principles that it's based on that they weren't they were fine with what was bothering them was the elokusantera which is going to explain what that means the godliness of this that's why you'll see the text of alanisim is so precise every filler that was composed whether by the ancient or in this case it had to be composed later because ancient nations were before hanukkah they were in the beginning of the second base of mikdash and the miracle of hanukkah happens later shema natsadek who's one of the dancers meets alexander the great but that's way before chanukah chanukah what happened later during the second temple era so the prayer of alanism obviously was composed later just like the mitzvahs of chanukah however every single prayer in the text composed by the by our sages is very precise now if you were writing the text i would say it's not what he says they didn't stand up to make them forget tyra or mitzvahs says to make them forget your toyota to make them violate your will why doesn't it say lash ki kamha tara to make them forget tara no so that's what the neb is mad the fact that there's a toner a lot of titus in the world there's different paths of ethics and different moral philosophies and different political philosophies and different psychological philosophies and different wealth on xiaomi and world perspectives you say that what bothered them was not that they didn't have a problem with judaism is another culture right and anthropologists study cultures some of you grew up reading about different cultures stunning cultures and university visiting different communities it's a fascinating study they call it anthropology you go you meet the people you try to understand where they're coming from they call it the myths the myths that every culture they love the word the myths that every culture is based on myths stories fantasies narratives that develop into ideas and laws and then hundreds of years later thousands of years later it becomes etched in stone the greeks don't have a problem you guys have an interesting culture it's an old culture biblical culture hebraic culture jewish culture fine you don't have to forget it we would even like to learn it with you make a cavarousa they try to they want to try to translate it into 70 languages what bothered them was the ghetto kite of terror not the sacral of tata that it's irritated the divinity of titan the godliness of tyra that this is tita that actually represents the mind of the creator of the world the source of existence or to put it in abstract language for those of you who have been learning with us in a while they didn't mind the ashes of torah the yash of terror they minded the iron of terror the somethingness of terror didn't bother them the nothingness of terror bothered them of toyota the traitor that turns you into a yes the toyota of intellectualism which can create an intellectual legal okay you got your ego i got my ego my ego comes from hammer and aristotle and socrates and plato or i should say socrates plato and aristotle and aristotle of course was the tutor of alexander the great alexander the great's father paul hired aristotle the great greek philosopher who was known by us as arista to tutor alexander the great as a young person of course then his father died or was killed some say even by his son and alexander the great became the great conqueror who owned the world and literally created the greek empire which as a result after his death it was then split and ultimately there was the one branch that was centered in syria and from there would come anti-yaches who would create all the hanukkah decrees whom the kashmir would rebel against you could look up the history it's quite an interesting history but it's beyond the realms of this class and i don't remember now all the details so you have your you have we have our intellectuals and we develop our intellectual ego i'm a master of socrates my master of plato master of aristotle i'm a master of hammer and you and you have your intellectual ego you have in your stomach you have baba kama baba matia baba basra i have no problem with that you have your literature you have your text you have your logic your visual philosophy what's bothering them is not the yes of terror it's the iron of titan in other words that is not just another intellectual pursuit but the torah is a reflection and an embodiment of hashem's divine mind there are different types of mitzvahs mitzvahs that have a rational reason they were fine every culture in the world has different mitzvahs different things they do it's called rituals that they didn't mind what bothered them was that not from the mitzvos the mitrals that made sense to them they were fine they could consent to that what bothered them was the khuke ritz that means we do because it's your will this is the point that my father-in-law did explained in the amerbabes 29 foreign it's known that mitzvahs are generally divided into three categories mishpatim addis and hukim mishpotem are mitzvahs that are completely rational in fact many civilizations for them to be successful are based on it the principle the golden rule they call it what you don't like to be done to you don't do to others for example the principle of leicester don't take somebody's life don't murder that's rational in other words you don't need to be a genius or a man of blind faith or any faith to accept it at least based on certain premises i mean you can question everything ultimately no logic is absolute every logic requires perspective but generally we see it's something that the human mind is completely fine with it makes sense again you need a certain paradigm if there's no paradigm for example that life is precious and that pain is bad all these types of things and you know taking something taking away something from somebody that you don't want to be taken away from you if those premises are not there okay so then there's no circle then you could be matter everything and and some empire some regimes did that some governments did that but generally these are called mitzvahs that the human mind is comfortable with them makes a lot of sense that's mishpot there's addis aedus so the the daily israel the jewish philosophers the rambam and shemina prakham and other places other other great jewish followers was called the mitzvos means mistress that you naturally listen to imaginarily obey then there are mitzvahs called edus adas means testimonials they're very culturally rude they're culturally rooted in history for example passover pesach you celebrate an event in history same as true sukkos or chanukah america just celebrated thanksgiving thanksgiving commemorates the pilgrims who came over to these shores of the united states before it was united states escaping english persecution they came on the mayflower in the early 1600s and in the winters of 1620 1621 harsh winters that many of them did not survive following that they began to celebrate thanksgiving to pay tribute to the creator of the world for bringing them here now adas in judaism would include shabbos and pesach and schwarz all these types of mitzvahs what are they you're not going to say that a civilization that they're logical in the sense that logic at least again logic following certain paradigms compels you to do them but they make sense it makes sense to celebrate an anniversary make sense to celebrate an anniversary of a miracle make sense to celebrate an anniversary of liberation it makes sense so the aedes the uvannam were also fine with the greeks were fine with mishpathm they were fine with adas what bothered them was the khukem the third category of mitzvahs the mitzvahs that transcend there is super rational shazamwa our sages explain this it's engraved i have established i have engraved a statual law it's a decree and you don't have permission to think about to think about it and to question it based on your intellectual faculties what does this mean because let's understand what the sages are saying here they're saying hashem says i made a decree you don't have permission to think after it what does it mean sometimes a person is contemplating a mitzvah because he's not sure whether you should do it it's like somebody will tell you explain to me why i should do it and then i'll do it that's not what we're talking about says england you know you don't prefer to think after it so literally it's just it's a slang it's an expression don't think about it literally in hebrew means don't follow it to think about it right like don't pursue it to think about it because we're not talking about a person who's not going to do it he's going to do it whether he understands the reason or doesn't understand the reason he will do it or she will do it anyway it's not that the understanding is essential to the performance of the mitzvah they'll do it anyway he may understand that he'll do it and if he doesn't understand it he'll still do it he just wants to think in order to understand it that's it that's good now so they said no you don't have permission for that either i'll say snag this the greeks could not make peace with he's giving here a depth into what the sages are saying everybody thinks they're saying don't allow your thoughts and your logic to dictate whether to do it or not that's not what we're saying even if you're going to do it you're a good jew you're an heirloot and you'll do it this is a cocktail and you're going to do it but afterwards i want to think i want to try to understand it no you don't have permission well what's the big deal i'm doing it i just want to appreciate i want to understand it apparently a beautiful thing this drove the abundant man and when we speak about the evonum of course we always speak about the evonum outside but we also speak about the evonum inside it represents a certain notion that perturbed why would they why would why would why would this be a virtue what do you care if a person thinks about it you don't care if a person thinks about it what the sages are negating here is the way the evolution is defined reality that's what we're talking about there was something about how they defined reality could not deal with anything that truly truly transcends logic it has to have a logical framework this is going to be a fascinating explanation i don't care if if it's very very deep we'll soon see how far this goes it has to have a logical context something that completely transcends seijo your wisdom and your understanding in front of all the nations the commander says in conduction that the the greatness of learning the reason why study is great is because it brings demise brings to actions so if the toad is called the passage says this is your bina the trader is going to be a display of your profound perceptiveness and understanding before all the nations so gevaldik this is wonderful so the ivanim said let's understand let's see your brilliance let's see and study brings to actions that we're fine with comes a gemara and emerges i can't even think about it sorry this is unacceptable what's the conflict there what is it what is it so if you don't get this we'll soon explain more you think okay they're busy with intelligence they want to understand and the jews are saying no i don't have to understand is that the argument let's see let's take this a step deeper the yvonne really didn't even have a problem with hookum they had a problem with hokkaido let's go back to the text so we explained their issue was in turner their issue was the divinity of terror their issue was not mitzvahs their issue was hukim the mitzvahs of mishpatim and adis they're fine what bothers them is the hukham so it should have said they made them violated those mitzvahs that are super rational that are beyond rationality it doesn't say that it says to make them violate the statutes of your will so the deb explains that when the previous rabbit rabbidatz explains that what bothered them was the what bothered them was the was the hukim you have to understand that much deeper they didn't mind you know what bothered them even the performance of mitzvahs which are called which transcend logic there's also a logical explanation a healthy intellectual mind a good intellectual mind is going to tell you that there are things that are beyond intellect sacral will tell you that there are certain premises upon which all study all wisdom is based and those premises themselves are not logical this is the secret of intellectuals you cannot study you cannot study any branch of wisdom anything not science not physics not mathematics not cosmology not astronomy not philosophy not psychology there's not a single branch of wisdom that you can study without certain paradigms and premises foundations those foundations cannot be proven logically they can always be refuted in other words sachel must accept that there is something beyond shaykh it cannot function without that because sekhal follows certain logical principles in order to be able to work within that structure you have to be able to have certain paradigms and premises and those cannot be proven somebody can come and refute them and then once you refute the foundation there's no structure so in order to build a structure you have to have a foundation that foundation is never logical yes i know intellectuals like arguing with this especially youngsters who are trying to exercise their brains and figuring out all the truths but to feel this this is a truth knowing as he says even to completely secular intellectuals even an honest so-called atheist intellectual if there is such a thing a really honest anything but even if there is or at least a tinyx nisba we'll admit this to you and the deeper you go into the world of intellect the deeper you'll discover this truth because you always have to have a foundation from which to work with and a person could question anything the brain could question literally anything and if there's no certain premise and paradigm you can't even begin to function with what does this mean this means that intellectually you have to respect certain things that transcend intellectualism unless if you're not an intellectual you don't have to respect anything but if you respect the processes of logic and thinking you must respect that there are foundations that transcend them now but the level says now this is one aspect even somebody who will fight this and argue with us by even somebody who argues and he's discussing here two streams of philosophy and history even somebody who argues that seiko is not finite which means logic is actually at the core of reality it's not limited it's at the core um and therefore intellect does not have to embrace that something transcends intellect intellect is reality logic is reality there is such a stream of philosophy everything logic is the premise and the foundation of reality there's nothing outside of that even if somebody agrees with that so therefore there's nothing outside of circle everything follows a certain logic and it's based on it but if he's a normal person he'll admit that his the worst thing you can hear from a scientist or physicists is i know everything there is to know about science i have nothing to learn it's probably the last person you'll want to sit by to learn the worst thing you can hear from a psychologist or a therapist is i know everything there is about psychology i have nothing more to learn you will not go to that person we trust the person who says i know something much less than i could know and certainly much less than we're going to find out in the future years as years accumulate they they allow us to perceive more wisdom so even somebody who believes that logic intellect is the beginning of all and the end of all there's nothing outside of every sacral is reality reality is seiko even that philosophy yeah that somehow logic is inherent to the fabric of existence that is existence there's a logical structure and we're trying to find it even that person will say true but my mind is still limited i still have what to learn i still don't know everything any person who cannot say that you don't want to have a it's very hard to respect such a person it's the worst thing you could say from an intellectual point of view right there was somebody who said in the beginning of the 1900s that everything that there is to discover we discovered everything that's left to discover we discovered even today technology and medicine have progressed so much but humility is the essence of wisdom humility doesn't mean even so even a person who believes that intellect is really everything and everything ultimately can be defined as an intellectual truth or a logical truth even that person must acquiesce to the painful or liberating truth that my understanding my wisdom my perception of reality is limited now it sounds simple but it's beautifully put how he puts it now whatever you believe a person is going to tell you i know everything there is to know about astronomy or i know everything there is to know about outer space or i know everything there is to know about the brain it'd be a laughingstock you know every few days there's a new a new news story a headline that says they discovered the secret of consciousness they discovered the secret of consciousness and then they discovered the secret of life and then they discover the secret of emotions and then they discover the secret of happiness but of course a few days later there's another study that refutes the first study you know the age of the universe you won't always hear this but you know how many contrasting opinions there are and every few years the the time the the the life the span of the universe changes why always new discoveries always new ideas so therefore any intelligent person the first premises first he says seiko must accept the fact that there are things that i that are beyonce even if you disagree you hold no sechel is everything sekhal is infinite that's reality it's not mobile it's not limited doesn't come from a place beyonce everything is logic again there's such a stream in philosophy even if you admit that fine zozai we're gonna we're gonna acquiesce to that we're going to submit to that for a moment but your mind is limited ms imagine you come to you need to go to therapy for your marriage so you go into the therapist's office you say before we begin tell me your credentials so you'll say everything there is to know about marriage i know i've been doing this for 69 years there's nothing about relationships that i don't know what do you think what do you think of such a therapist a therapist tells you everything there is to know about human behavior everything there is to know about pain everything there is to know about growth about self-awareness i know you run to the other side of the world very fast you don't sit in that office those are the worst people how does arrogance this hubris we don't even begin to understand the cell the brain you know what's happening in the brain now at least people have the humility to know that the brain is mysterious and that's just a brain two pounds three pounds of jello in your skull so this is the basic recognition and the greater the intellectual the more he knows this or the more she knows this so he says if this is the case there are certain things everyone must admit that they're beyond my intellect maybe they're not beyond intellect maybe everything ultimately has its logic but they're beyond my circle yeah that i can't understand who will not admit that there's certain parts of the body that i can't understand there's certain ideas that i can't understand there's certain truths i can't understand the certain things i have maybe one day i will maybe i don't have the instruments whatever it is but every with without this without this uh admission there's no conversation and you know who understood this first episode the greeks now the truth is of course it's much deeper than this the whole concept of logic is limited it's not infinite yeshua shalom is not reality there are things that completely are not part of the system of logic they're not logical logic is part of existence it's not the definition of existence there are there is reality that transcends the very structure and the very concept we call concept just like today we know there are this we have that transcends time this reality that transcends space and even physicists who speak from a perspective of physics some of them will explain that the big bang was not just the beginning of the world that we know but it was also the beginning of time and space now you say what do you mean that could be the beginning of time time time exists whether there's a world that there's no world no i know it's not easy to wrap our brain around it but time has a beginning and space is the beginning how could space have a beginning space is space no space also has a beginning and time has a beginning and and logic has a beginning in other words it's not infinite there's a context that had to be created developed whatever you wanted the word you want to use that's called logic and we see it in a person and here we come to a fascinating thing what is the depth of a human reality for thousands of years at least for many years especially based on greek influence the greatest person was called the philosopher what's a philosopher philosopher somebody philo means love in latin philo philosophy is somebody who loves logic yeah philosophy you love cech it was understood the greatest person is the philosopher the mind who cherishes logic and logic was seen as the supreme force in human life especially by the greek philosophers plato particularly who highlighted and accentuated the virtue of the isha seiko the philosopher who was superior to all else to everybody else somebody who really lives in the world of and it was seen that the greatest person is the rational person and through rationality you can ultimately rule the world in kabbalah and sid is a different paradigm is the beginning of segal but there is casa casa is above kabbalah already in zohar and all the sodom of kabbalah and sydney what's casser watson will of course in the last 100 years of psychology we have discovered the limits of intellect go to any psychologist or therapist or psychotherapist or neurologist especially in recent years and say listen you know this guy's coming into your office okay just explain to him the logic or the flaws of his logic and all will be good right good luck we now know that pure logic has very very little influence in people's lives in other words there are forces that are far deeper and greater and more powerful than seiko not that there's no cycle we have rationality but kamai binyan arats take will affilo commercial massacre even down here people down here people living on this world their ruts in this transcends their cell their desires their true inner inner values inner desires what they really yearn for what they crave for what they thirst for is much deeper than seiko and the the word sakel doesn't apply there it's irrelevant it's not about logic you say but it doesn't make sense i don't care in fact any good psychologist or therapist will tell you i was once speaking to a very respected therapist i've been doing this for many many years so i asked him how do you know when you touched you know when you touched when you what are they called when you hit the spot how do you know when you hit the spot you know you hit the spot and the bezier it's a good question though how do you know when you hit the spot you know what he told me he said something very smart talking about he said when the person stops giving me explanations why they're doing what they're doing or why they want what they want as long as they're giving explanations they're not in touch with themselves the moment they say i don't know it's just what i want it's just who i am this is who i am you hit the spot because even seiko it's powerful and it's amazing and if you're studying mathematics or have though you're studying our tickle gemara you have to use it but ratson is deeper than circle kessier is higher than harm so he says even those who agree that sekha is everything like this philosophers used to think and some people there are people who still follow this idea right they'll follow this idea if they study their own lives probably they'll be they'll look they'll see other things but this was an idea that was very accepted fun but you have to admit that you don't know everything and therefore there could be things that you don't understand today and they're true you'll understand them tomorrow you'll understand them in a year you'll understand them in a century maybe they'll discover them in a thousand years the truth is that ebba says that any cycle to begin with is based on things that allah massachusetts the truth is that seiko is finite it's not reality it's part of reality but it's not reality we see it even in a person down here that the kayak sin will is deeper than seiko so we see even a reflection down here that segal is powerful but it's limited and its influence is limited what's the therefore the greeks who were great intellectuals at least many of them did not have a problem with hukim you know why if you're an intellectual you have to accept that there are things that you don't understand i'm fine i'm fine tell me that there are mitzvahs moses was a brilliant brilliant man i'll find out tomorrow i'm not i have no problem i'm a smart man i can accept this is a very edel of art this is this guns gun shaina yvonne shaina yvonne i can accept that i don't understand tomorrow a year 100 i'm good and i'll do it i'll do it when i mention but give in one thing just tell me one word do you say hello tell me that sakura is the reality element i'm limited and i'm ready to accept that there's something higher that i don't know yet and therefore i'll do the in other words what makes it that it's a relative hike today i don't understand tomorrow i'll understand i will even accept the fact that as par even deeper than this that as part of being an intellectual there are paradigms that i have to accept in order to give respect and context to the structure of logic i'm fine with that also you know what bothered them what they don't have an opposition to hook him because they're incomprehensible a lot of things are incomprehensible i can accept that what they could not accept was that the essence of life the essence of truth is not about cereal the essence of life in the essence of truth is the value of the mitzvah the real value mitzvahs that it's in hashem it's the will of hashem the lekus of the mitzvah the godliness of the mitzvah the divinity of the mitzvah that the reborn of hashem is not defined by logic he is the source of reality including the source of circle that the purity of the mitzvah that it's in hashem it's the will of hashem completely beyond any structure of logic this the evonym could not make peace with hook him as an intellectual exercise because i don't understand it today but there's a logic maybe call it your god's logic fine i don't have a problem with that but i'm not going to go out of that world of segal they were fine with hulk what bothered them was did it say what's the real value of the hukim just like the real value of today in the mitzvah they get the divinity in the mitzvah that it's the ultimate truth of existence that completely transcends the human intellectual capacity the human intellectual mind that it's not defined by seiko can reality be experienced as something that is completely not defined by logic they were not ready to give that up and this drove them mad about judaism we'll soon see what this means in a person's life in a person's life the ability to be able to stop trying to control things with my brain my brain can accept the fact that it can't control everything but it wants to control that also but the real vulnerability to be able to give up complete control that my brain has to control it that's the oven inside of me the greek inside of me i want to be able to create a life that is structured around my brain that my brain could somehow make sense of it and control it that bittle to be able to transcend completely my the control of my brain that the evolution are not ready to accept that's what it is in the personal life what is it in the collective jewish life in yiddish sky there's a lot of circle in fact there's endless segal in yeah in fact yiddish kind has more sakura than any other cell in the world because it comes from the source of yiddishkeit has more cycle than anything else because it comes from the source of the argument here is but if you're going with seiko you're not touching it you're touching the aspect of cycle beautiful that's what he says it's not an attack that you won't do it no you'll do it i'm going to do it i just want to think about it no you know why not because thinking is bad think but it doesn't have anything to do with the mitzvah you know is the mitzvah the experience of seiko won't give you the mitzvah it will give you cycle you'll understand more you'll understand less back to the mushrooms in therapy in psychology a wife is sitting with a husband she's crying about something she needs something she wants or he's crying and the other one turns the wife turns her husband and the woman says but it doesn't make sense wrong question you're talking two worlds she's talking about her inner self and you're talking about logical structures that you created to protect you from your inner self okay so now let's go to the next level he's smart enough to have empathy and say okay i get it but then when she leaves he turns to the therapist and he says now explain to me logically why she wants it i'll do what she wants i'll buy the flowers i will go out i'll we'll take a walk i'll i'll do but explain to me why i'll do it i'll do it what do you say he missed the point right he that aimle he's a good guy i'll do it i just want to think about it you missed the point it's not a reality of seiko it's a reality of ratson it's the plymouth it's beyonce i don't care if you think about the mitsubishi imam balila analyze dissect and you know what you may come up with brilliant brilliant ideas but ghazal is saying you're not touching the fabric of the mitzvah you're not touching the essence of the mitzvah you're going deep into seikel which is a fine thing it's a wonderful thing and sometimes it's amazing and beautiful if you want to understand the nakuda of a mitzvah you have to understand that you're dealing with divine will which is infinity which is truth which is the source and transcends infinitely intellect it's not in the world of intellect and intellect is not bringing you closer to that truth of the person where does the husband connect to his wife or the wife connects to her husband i'm giving this muscle because the rambam says that ishvisha is a martial for hashem and the jew so it's very good mushroom i think where do you connect you connect when you stop looking for the need to understand your wife listen i'm giving you people good advice when you stop i hope the therapists agree with me when you stop searching for the need to understand i don't have to understand my husband understand you i even understand your child i want to understand understand you can understand your wife and understand i don't know if you can understand your wife you could try to understand your wife and understand your husband understand your kids and understand god and understand trade understandings gesundheit but if you want to connect to them you have to be able to understand and appreciate and experience that reality is not reality is ain't safe and the true reality of a person is rooted in ancient if it's rooted in infinity and that's where i can touch you that's where you can touch my panimiya it's not about understanding you it's about tuning into you i can't understand myself so you're going to understand me i don't know if i can emphasize how valuable this this mimer is for relationships again so why are the safari filled with explanations for mitzvos aim the courageous you don't have permission you're going to get punished people read this maya mchazal you're going to go to gahannam if you start thinking about mitzvahs no i think you see that ebb goes he takes it to an extreme one way and this we could take it to an extreme another way i don't know if you understand what i just said when your tuf is the the atom of the maimer hazal then you're not scared to go the other direction because you appreciate it from the opposite direction meaning that means even if you're going to do everything but you just want to think about it it's already good you know the problem is not that you're going to think and you won't do it no you'll do it i'll do everything but i want to think about it he's just no you don't have permission if you if you're not typhoons then it could there's like a wow okay when i let her think let's let's go to a cult let's go into a cult and not think but now he explains to you what it means what it means is you could think i don't care if you think but you're not going to be tough as the mitzvah and even if you say i'll do it but i want to understand it you missed the point the mitzvah is not about understanding the mitzvot is about elokos it's in hashem it's the inner divinity it's the truth of existence the inner ponemeous of hashem this is what hashem wants beyond the whole world of cycle even beyond beyonce because beyond say hello sachel says that there is beyonce sachel says that there's things that i don't get yet fine sachel says there's certain foundations i have to agree with in order to make sakura work but it's all sega hashem is beyond beyonce so you'll start talking but you didn't touch it you didn't talk you didn't get the nikuda you didn't get the nakuda is philosophy important it's wonderful it's psycho important it's wonderful and sometimes you have to have a conversation that is completely intellectual completely objective completely rational just to be able to help people get through their walls because if i'm a very rational person you have to be able to show them the limits of their rationality so they can open up to deeper layers of reality but once you touch the cores of the deeper layers of reality the second becomes irrelevant means that at some point sekhal is irrelevant so what's that what so so what's the power of a mitzvah bowver mitzvah is that you touch me says there's an expression oh you see atom like him you touch me the penemius of ainsaif and therefore you touch yourself your own premiums back to the relationship you come out explain to me why you're stuck you don't have to have an explanation do you have the courage to go there the euvonim could not accept this they cannot make that transition which means they weren't only philosophically wrong psychologically psychologically they could not survive in the terms of inner work inner growth they can't really touch reality internally they couldn't survive they were busy with seiko sometimes you meet a person he's brilliant and his brilliance destroys him because more brilliant the more detached from himself you guys know what i'm talking about that i lose everybody at this point i was i'm not laughing i don't see anybody because hey i see i see a therapist here everybody else ran away and mr solomon i see the psalm the first time so what does this mean so what does this leave us with this leaves us with that either sky is not afraid of seiko at all on the contrary if you're confident you don't have to be afraid of questions of intellect that's why the rambam himself says if you have a reason give reasons he says every mitzvah you could think about it and figure out if there's a reason and the ram says i don't care give reasons we're not afraid of conversations then the could be here is not fear the nakuda here is what's reality and how do i touch reality the nakuda of eu godliness purity real transcendence the source of reality and that is which is even beyond the source of reality from this we'll also understand in yiddish if you study industries there's different streams different ways there were those who were very very philosophical everything they searched for reasons they wanted reasons for everything there were those who said no just do it because hashem want hashem wants you to do it it's two different streams until today you'll see there's those who say stop asking questions can shine their stop asking and those who i know i want to understand i want to be logical and those who say stop hacking at china they say oh seiko will drive you crazy you're going to lose everything you'll become a philosopher and throw everything away and the others say yeah but you're in a cult blind faith you don't know what hit you you're not intelligent you don't think you don't have answers because you're scared of questions you you know those arguments in this we have the full picture okay derek what does siddhis do this doesn't choose one path over another path see this is the atom it's the atsa material the etsy material includes all paths so what do you see in this moment did i be saying of course you can go with seiko you know how many explanations there are for mitzvahs mishpotem you can explain and explain and explain and this beautiful stuff and very convincing stuff and even hook him has a lot of explanations including the fact that if you're smart you understand that you're dumb how do you know that you're smart how do you know that you're a smart man when you're smart you know that you're dumb when you're dumb you think you're smart that's the first the first prerequisite that you're talking to a smart person is that the person understands that they're not smart that's the first prerequisite the moment you meet a person who thinks they're smart with with smartness you're not dealing with there's an expression in one of the one of the shoita now don't it's not the word that's not the english word gay gay means arrogant even in english it means happy by the way but colgate you'd aleph whoever is an arrogant person is a fool you say why i'm arrogant and i'm smart by definition if you're an arrogant person you're a fool so any any a person can understand these things that i don't understand hukam has explanations bishpatima's explanations ate this as explanations and it's a whole path and it's wonderful suddenly no no don't think don't think close your mind really and the rabbit says you know what i mean don't think not don't think even if you're gonna do don't think what do you care i'll do and then i'll think so the world people will say because if you start thinking you'll end up not doing you missed the point it may be true maybe not true here we see everything comes together there's a derrick of seiko and it's fine and it has its virtues and it has its utilities and it has its use and it has its power there's the derek of a moon focus on beyonce can the two come together so this is what he's explaining the yvonne were stuck as long as you're not stuck there's room for everything is the rationality in judaism all of judaism is filled with rationality what's not filled with rationality all of judaism from shabbos to twilight to davening to chanukah to put him to the sarasotas to broca's including tyra summershp including tiresome many therapists tell couples you need space space what space what does space mean space is called tara summersburg whatever you need space everybody says you need gratitude yeah you need thanksgiving yeah that's why we have chakras and broadcast everybody says you need mindfulness yeah that's when you come out of the bathroom you say ashiyat sir and before you drink a cup of water you say shahakal nearby everybody says you need to control your mental space you can't become addicted to the outside world yeah that's why we have shoppers everybody says you need boundaries you need discipline in order to be able to function to be a productive person here that's why you have mankrishma don't forget that's why you have zmantv that's why you have things that we do and things that we don't do everybody says that this is a world of sexual harassment me too hashtag me too yeah that's why there's laws of yehud and that's why there's laws of sneers what's the laws of yehud the laws of is that a man and a woman who are not closely related not my mother it's not my spouse it's not are not gonna be locked up in a room yeah it recognizes the darker angels in a human life tell me if this doesn't make sense if everybody would follow these laws ninety percent of the problems you wouldn't have they talk about black lives matter white lives matter people's lives matter what is it all based on if a police officer or a black man or a white man would have ingrained in them that a human being is carved in the image of god their behavior is a completely different behavior we could talk about this endlessly either is everything understood no person can understand i once asked a very brilliant man and he's of religious jew and i said you're certain he has to understand everything i said how do you deal with this mitzvah that means for that mitzvah that mitzvah i asked him a few and he said something very wise and this is what this my message he says you know what when i see a system that 95 of it is beautiful and five percent of it doesn't make sense i accept it it's a good vert that's the that but but so if i could say that that's the that's that's the ivany that's the greek inside of me do you think maybe this 95 makes sense five percent doesn't i accept it it's cevaldic it's beautiful what that ebb is saying here is but don't get stuck there it's not the nakuda it's not the nekoda zakhman karlin the nakuda yeah the nakuda and karlin they say the nakuda the lubavitches very significant the literature basin there's they spilled their blood around jerusalem and there was nobody to bury it so it's a tragic story of the corbin the sometimes jews they give their blood for something but they don't touch the nakuda they're so committed to something they're always around you to shalom they don't they don't the enclave they don't it doesn't go into their premiers because it's around it's not the nakuda so you're busy with say hello dick wonderful but the voice even if you're going to do all the mitzvos she still says don't think about it not because i care if you think about it because don't think that by thinking about it you're going to gain the real appreciation of it for carrot it's going to eclipse the relationship when this man comes out of the therapist's office one man says listen i can't agree to her doesn't make sense what you want doesn't make sense i'm not doing it another guy is much better i don't care i'm gonna do it i'm a good husband but just tell me why says that the second one doesn't get it just like the first one doesn't get it first one doesn't get it because he's a little narcissistic and the second one doesn't get it because he doesn't understand what reality is he doesn't understand what a person is doesn't understand what empathy is he doesn't understand that reality is erotin and it's much deeper than seiko because he himself was blocked because he never went into his own ruts and then he uses seiko to cover up who he really is so therefore we can't deal with another person's rothson only when you can deal with your rats and can you deal with another person's rats so therefore everything comes together so it's not a steer in your dish right say hello the gay gay fanheim bismarck and we could run but then it could be is that the euvonim you're still stuck because you're busy with mishpot and you're busy with adas i'll accept hukimoso but i need somehow i need to keep god in sekho and the truth is that the nakuda of a mitzvah is pure divinity it is kasras of the preliminary sannefish with the peninsula surveillance the core of the soul with the core of infinity and it's the ability in the person to go outside of their brains outside of logic of the structure not because we don't like logic we love logic that's one aspect of your dish guide logic is tremendous but don't get because don't get stuck don't get stuck there allow yourself to feel and experience de la cusina la customer so you don't have to understand not because we're occult not because we don't believe in understanding because we don't want to limit the relationship when i say i have to understand i'm limiting the relationship i'm not allowing myself to touch your soul allow yourself to touch the divine so that the divine can touch you we'll continue we'll continue beijing hashem wednesday morning wednesday morning 7 30 a.m tomorrow morning we have 9 45 a woman's class tonight tonight here on the yeshiva.net we'll also have a class it's a zoom with t-neck to the community of teaneck new jersey but i'll be on the yeshiva.net about the power of jewish unity let me take some questions i hope to have it understood i hope you understood the today maybe that's a contradiction in terms right understood the sheer today is probably a contradiction in terms okay lumberjane episode shylus 33 questions i thought it was a simple monday morning 33 questions so covered like 33 questions well unmute will i mute how do you unmute you cannot mute yourself if you want you cannot mute yourself i didn't i didn't i didn't okay okay you know what the hour is late and some of us still