If You Believe You Can't, You Really Can't

[Music] the portion of slach tells the story of what is perhaps the single greatest collective failure of leadership in the tyre moisture abbay no sends 12 men to scout to spy on the land of eretz israel the men were leaders princes of their tribes people of distinction yet ten of them come back with a demoralizing report they tell the jewish people we came to the land it flows with milk and honey they show off its delicious and splendid fruits but the people who dwell in the land are strong the cities are fortified and very large we cannot go up against the people living there because they are stronger than we are the land where we went to the land which we went to spy out these men say is a land that devours its inhabitants all the people we saw there are of great height giants we appear to ourselves like grasshoppers and so we appear to them wow khalif one of the twelve scouts tries to calm the people he says we can do it but ten of them the majority says it can't be done and so the people lose heart as the terror describes in the portion of the entire community raises their voice and shouts the entire community weeps an entire night the banaya stroll the children of israel complain against moshe and iron and they say if only we could have died in the land of egypt if only we would have died in the desert why would hashem bring us to this land to be defeated and murdered by the sword why should our wife and children become the spoils let's go back to egypt we all know the continuation of the story hashem gets very upset how long will this people provoke me how much longer will they not believe in me after all the signs sunni i have performed so many miracles in their midst hashem says he tells moses i will strike them with a plague and annihilate them moses moshe begins to plead for compassion and what does he say he says the egyptians are going to hear that you brought out this nation with great power and now you kill vahimata you kill this entire nation like one person the nations all the nations who have heard god about your reputation are going to say god lacked the ability to bring the nation into the land which he has promised to them and swore to them therefore he slaughtered them in the desert that's how they're going to interpret the event god you're incompetent khalil you're capable forgive the iniquity of the nation in accordance with your abundant kindness just as you have carried them from egypt till now and hashem says i have forgiven them in accordance with your words moses pleaded for compassion god forgives but he insists that none of the adults of this generation none of the men between 20 and 60 with the sole exception none of the men from 20 and older with the sole exception of the two dissenting spies yahushua of joshua none of them would live to enter the land the people would stay in the wilderness for 40 years and there everybody who's 20 and older will perish only the children and the women will eventually inherit what might have been theirs had they only had faith what's the end of the story the terror continues moses related all of these words to the children of people of the children of israel they grieve they mourn greatly they arose early in the morning they are sent to the mountaintop saying he novalino we're ready to go up to the place which god promised us and we know that we have sinned at this point moshe says no we have to now remain in the desert don't go up he says because god is not among you and if you go up you'll be beaten down by your enemies the molokites are up there the canaanites are up there and you will fall by the sword stay what disturbs you about the story when you hear this story you read the story and it's it's always worthwhile i'll encourage this to oh it's always worthwhile to read and learn the portion of the torah inside the text khomesh and at least rashi i mean other commentators would also be great but rashi is the basic commentary on humish and each week i would suggest to all of you even the busy ones among us to take a few minutes every day and learn that section of the day every portion is divided into seven sections on sunday you learn from rishon toshini on monday from shaini to shelishi on tuesday from ravi and on shabbos from sri it's an endeavor that takes between five minutes and 15 minutes you have today english translations of all forms and types or hebrew trans explanations or yiddish ones whatever works for you you have russian and you have french and you have italian and you have portuguese i don't know if you we have mandarin yet but i would suggest that very strongly that way throughout the year you learned the whole hamash after a few years you know the whole homos you mastered it at least on one level what is disturbing about this story throughout the whole torah god forgives that's how the tamac works particularly after prayer and repentance human sin they accept responsibility they express remorse and resolve god forgives in fact it's one of the axioms of judaism and it's one of the pervading themes of the whole of the rambam has a beautiful phrase based on the you shall me nothing stands in the path of repentance in this story something else happens in this story the jews repent they experience remorse they are ready to change their behavior they tell moisha we are ready to go to the place where god wants us to go because we have sinned why doesn't hashem accept their repentance never before or after this will it happen it's even more disturbing it's not like god says i can't forgive them he forgives he tells moisha salah i have forgiven them in accordance with your words if he forgives them why does he still penalize them to remain in the wilderness for 40 years if i forgive you why would i punish you if the jews repented earnestly and they did we can see that they were ready to go up to the land so this was just this was not just big talk big talkers it was sincere and god says i forgive them so why don't we just go back to square one let's start over again okay and we'll enter the promised land isn't that what forgiveness means by definition i'm ready to move on i'm ready to accept the atonement and the forgiveness and create a new beautiful future there's something equally disturbing maybe even more disturbing in this story when god tells moses he's going to annihilate the entire nation marsha moses argues that this will cause the egyptians to claim that hashem is incapable of bringing the people into the land god is incompetent he simply can do it now i want to ask you a question if you were maisha what would be your primary argument why not to annihilate the people could moshe not have found any other rationale to influence god so to speak not to annihilate an entire nation of some two three million people men women and children save the fact that it won't look good for the egyptians does this disturb you i mean when i read it every year i wonder you know we sometimes talk about i don't know maybe it's a bad example they talk about people that their entire calculation of why to do something or not to do something is how it's going to look for others what are others going to think now that's part of our calculations and and sometimes it's an important one you know you don't have to flaunt everything yaakov tells his children la matissro you don't have to show off you don't have to you have more money than other people you're more affluent zaya mensch be humble be normal so we all appreciate that it's it's part of human sensitivity it's actually part of kindness but to live based on what this one is going to say about me and this one is going to say about me is one of the most paralyzing ways of living if you need something if your children need something of your loved ones need something the most important consideration is what's the right thing to do not what this nor this one is going to say or think especially when we're talking about an issue of life and death i would expect moisture to have said these are your creatures you created them these are your children this is the nation that you have taken out of egypt and you chose them as your people forever have compassion for them you love them these are your children don't kill them in fact it's exactly what he said at a previous disaster not long before this the nation created a golden calf and god wanted to annihilate them he told my heritage me then leave me alone and i'm going to annihilate them that happened just one year earlier literally one year earlier not a very long time ago and what does moisture say this is back in exodus in particular says why do you allow your anger to be kindled against your people whom you have brought up from the land of egypt with great power and with a strong hand that's exodus chapter 32 partisan afterwards martial also raises the issue that it will desecrate god's name among the nations what is more if you were moshe what else would you tell god he might have told god listen these people have been in egypt for 210 years can you blame them for panicking can you blame them for their paralyzing fear can you blame them for not believing that they can enter into the land of canaan that's filled with giants when they are still traumatized from years and years of oppression and slavery and genocide and watching their children being taken from them and plunged into the nile delta martial could have put the blame on the spies who demoralized the nation yet in reality his only argument why to spear the lives of all of the jewish people is the reputation of god among the egyptians i want to tell you something i have found that most children or many children when they read these stories initially they ask these questions because they're really good questions but because many of us don't have answers so we dismiss these questions and then when we get older we stop asking these questions these most basic clearing powerful disturbing questions we stop asking because it's like it's just the way it is you know so forgive me for revisiting these important questions when you read the story because god hashem wants us to know these stories he recorded it in the terror and everything in the term is a lesson it's not just plain history that happened thousands of years ago very few stories are recorded from the 40 years in the wilderness they were there 40 years we have a few big stories and each of them is a timeless lesson in life so i saw i was learning yesterday as i learned with you a few times there's a hasidic work that was written by the second rebbe of gair his name was rabbi yehuda arya alter he passed away in 1905 and he succeeded the first rebbe of gerda the kids of ichimo passed away in 1866. was still very young so for a few years the community was led by rabb henrich of alexander they called him the koian haggadah of alexander for a few years but then afterwards uh this facemask assumed leadership as the second gary rabber if you wish the third if you count in the interim between the hidden again his name is last name and he has this works for semes and i was looking through his insights on parsha and as usual they're very deep and beautiful and concise and cryptic and difficult to understand but i saw a theme that he mentions a few times the first time is in his first essay on slack partisan which means it comes from 1871. and then he repeats this theme a few times throughout and i want to share with you an insight that he says now i have to say that i wouldn't have understood it really when i read it here however i now come a few generations later to the laboratory and at a fabrangan shabbas parish 1974 that's tough shin lam adalat 5 7 34 in the in the jewish calendar laboratory asked the above questions and he offered the following explanation i'm going to elaborate a little bit the way i understood it and then i'll also quote you when i went to this fashions where i saw it in this fassamus just a little introduction for context and this is important not just for this week but i think for all of our classes i'm learning together when somebody lacks a real understanding of god judaism and terror we can get very very wrong impressions and i see it all the time in my interactions with people students women and men of different communities and different demographics my travels around the world before corona and especially through emails correspondence hearing what's on people's minds and my many conversations with people we see this all the time people have this instinctive very very harsh and negative and i would say traumatized feeling it's almost like they see the story as follows the jewish people rebel yet once again against almighty god gets upset as somebody once told me he's always losing his temper he's always angry the fuses below god says i had enough he's furious he's on a war path i will kill them all this happens again and again and it happens again in slach and suddenly moshe the savior intervenes and he's like hey god it's not such a good idea the egyptians are going to make fun of you they're going to mark you they're going to say you simply don't know how to do it you can't take them out of the land and bring them into the land of canaan you're afraid you're also limited so god you have no choice do not do this because they're gonna tell you they're all gonna say god is simply incapable of delivering his promise and therefore he had to kill them in the desert which was his nice way of saying i can't do it so god says okay you know what plan b i'll kill them over 40 years friends this represents a misconstrued understanding of yiddushkite we have to go back always to the baseline god created the world for what for when he conceived you and me and the entire universe and the entire planet in love god created the world just so that we can get and gives us gives us challenges and the ability to be traumatized and the ability to experience toxicity just to punish us god loves you infinitely that's the baseline eternally unconditionally when terrorist speaks of punishments it's never to be understood as we sometimes appreciate it or understand it as i'm gonna get you back think about a loving mother or a loving father who's really a worked out person because educating children is about educating yourself first a father and a mother who love their children unconditionally and eternally god maybe you don't want to give him credit to be better than them but he's not worse than them god doesn't lose it he doesn't throw a temper tantrum somebody once told me they read humash and there's temper tantrums from the lord we throw temper tantrums when we feel out of control we have to grow up and re-visit a lot of these paradigms a lot of these primitive concepts that have become embedded in us god is your greatest fan he created you he invested his essence in you he creates you every moment he's your greatest ally he's your best friend he's your greatest advocate he wants you to be happy content successful he wants you to be maximized he wants you to live life to the fullest and suck the marrow out of life in this world and in the next world punishments in the territory are never to be understood as just simple revenge you got me you hurt me i'll hurt you i'll get even with you or even showing me who's boss or it's an explosion of of wrath i have no impulse control even a normal functioning worked out parent doesn't take revenge from their children even if the children did something that was wrong and inappropriate no parent who's worked out tries to get even i'm gonna show you who's boss i'm stronger than you i'm gonna take vengeance we all get angry yes we all have moments when we surrender to our lower angels we have moments when we lose it but people who are worked out and disciplined and and live by values and and by an internal an internal compass that guides them we don't allow our wrath to overwhelm us and dictate our behavior even when i'm feeling upset even when i'm losing it even when i'm feeling angry and if i do i apologize i learn from my mistakes for the next time this is the basic basic ethical behavior of of good and nurturing parents many of you work on this every single day god doesn't love us any less than human mortal and limited and moody parents so let's study the story with a little more depth the spies come back and say the people who inhabit the land are mighty the cities are huge and fortified there are offsprings of giants the molokai's dwell on the south the hittites the jebusites the the amorites their murder dwell in the mountainous regions the canaanites dwell on the coast and alongside the jordan this is all part of the report of the spies the land we pass through to explore is a land that consumes its habitants the people we saw in it are men of great stature and prowess we saw giants we saw the sons of amalek descendants from the giants in our eyes we seemed like grasshoppers were they lying were they exaggerating were they dramatizing no they weren't lying in fact the ramban and other commentators even want to know what was their sin you asked them to go give you a report they gave you a report you don't like the report you kill the messenger great question and there are different answers given for this they weren't lying everything they said was 100 accurate and that's the point it was indeed an impossible task an unfeasible goal it was an impractical plan it was an unachievable dream that's what the sva samus and the laboratory ever both explained it was an impossible task they were giants they were powerful we're been in slavery for many years there is no way we're going to do this so how could have it happened so how could have this dream been materialized only one way faith if they can truly put their full trust in their infinite creator unwaveringly with full conviction and absolute dedication then the dream would become possible because god is the soul master of the universe so the impossible could become possible the unfeasible we can become feasible the impractical can become practical conversely if they lack the faith if they lack the confidence indeed it's unattainable we know today i mentioned this pretty often in quantum mechanics reality is not fixed it's multi-layered it's complex we talk about probabilities not fixed models what i see is what i get literally in quantum physics is not a cliche here's the question could the jews enter and conquer the land the answer depends on them if they believed they could they were right if they believed they could not they were also right let's apply this to more to other areas of life because it's true in so many areas of life those who say we cannot do it are right those who say we can are also right if you lack confidence you will lose if you have confidence solid justified confidence based on preparation and past performance i'm not talking about hallucination you will win i saw a number of years ago in psychology today an experiment that was conducted by a harvest by a harvard university psychologist dr robert rosenthal it was a group of students and teachers living in jerusalem and the experiment went as follows a group of physical education teachers and students were randomly chosen and randomly divided into three groups in the first group the teachers were told that previous testing indicated that all the students had an average ability in athletics and an average potential and the teachers were told go and train them the second group of teachers were told something very different that the students in their group based on previous testing exhibited an unusually high potential for excellence for excellence in athletics and then they were sent to train them and then there was a third group of teachers they were told that their group of students had exhibited based on previous testing an extremely low potential for athletic training now go and train them this was all fabricated the students were chosen randomly no group of the three groups exhibited any more potential than any other group the teachers were given several weeks to work with their student athletes at the end of the training period the results were as follows all those students who had been randomly identified as being rather average in ability performed about average on the tests the students who were randomly identified as being above average performed above average all the students who were randomly identified as below the average performed below the average by a considerable margin what the teachers thought their students ability was and what the students themselves thought their ability was based on what they heard from their teachers went a long way towards deciding how well they performed athletically and it basically demonstrates a truth i think that resonates with so many of us students in classrooms workers in shops or offices patients in therapy children and families and all of us in our own life stories do better when the people who are mentoring us guiding us helping us see within us tremendous potential expect us to do well when we ourselves see ourselves as winners not as losers a person's self-esteem self-image what i think about myself and what i think i'm capable of isn't it it's not the only factor but it's a very crucial factor in what becomes of me what becomes of you and this has to do with deep attitudes and sometimes these paradigms are hindered and really defined by my traumas by my self-image completely not my fault it could be inherited from generations and epigenetics it could be nature it could be nurture could be so many other factors but i have to be able to identify what are those voices that may be undermining my success maybe not consciously but unconsciously so let's now go back to god and maisha hashem what are the first words of god to mush how much longer will they not believe in me after all the signs and miracles that i have performed in their midst this was not a personal insult read these words and again it's so much of my paradigms my unconscious paradigms that dictate how i read these words i can read these words as god is insulted like i really need your validation how much longer will you not believe me i split seas i turn water into blood i inundate a country with frogs i know how to bring an overwhelming darkness for three days six days you still can't believe me mama from heaven is not enough how much more do i have to show for you to get that i'm a great god no this was not a personal insult to god it's like i'm insulted could you believe in me can you validate because you just tell me that i'm good that i'm big that i'm great that i'm infinite god is saying something much more psychologically important since notwithstanding all that the jewish people have seen and experienced the exodus from egypt a superpower was brought to its knees ten supernatural plagues splitting of the sea mana from heaven miriam's well clouds of glory revelation at sinai the successful defeat of amalek all of these stories were not hearsay they were not on wikipedia they were not in books the nation experienced them on their own flesh if they still cannot take god's presence seriously if they're still stuck in the narrow mentality that the superficial physical reality is the sum total of existence if their pasture has not been elevated to become a ladder that is grounded on the earth but its top reaches heaven in the jewish imagination who are you who am i my posture ought to be straightened out and realize that my head touches heaven and there's a seamless flow that comes through my body through my soul all the way down to earth but if i can't see that anymore and i reduce my existence to a very small petty reality if all of these stories god says cannot transform them from within then they won't be able to conquer the land they won't allow themselves to be open to a higher and deeper way of operating had the jews internalize their experiences of the past year they would have felt in their bones in a visceral way that if god sent them on this mission it was possible it was practical it was real it was feasible it was doable it was attainable and so it would have been if you believe you can you are right what pained god so deeply was that they succumbed to a sense of helplessness and fear and this robbed them from the ability to actually achieve the job their fear would become a self-fulfilling prophecy and they would lack the lack the power to enter and conquer the promised land i want to read now a few words from the semes and after the class we'll also post it on the source sheets on the yeshiva.net if you want to see it inside i'm going to read semester islamic 1871. kivada it's true that from their mind's eye the spies felt that they do not have the capacity to enter the land they were not lying they were speaking their truth and indeed that's exactly why they did not go in they really felt they can't i can't but if they would have taken their own perspective and surrendered it to god's perspective strong words if i can develop my own what does a munna mean a muna means that i see myself as larger than my brain is telling me i am my brain is telling me i can't i can't i'm stuck i'm paralyzed i don't know how to mother i don't have a father i don't know how to be a husband i don't know how to be a wife i don't know how to be a child i don't know how to be a brother i don't know how to be a sister i don't know how to be a success story any one of you relates to this i can't and you have good proof and you know what you have good stories to back you up and you know what you have good trauma to continue to share these stories with you constantly i can't and i can't and i'm gonna be killed and i'm paralyzed and i'm dead and look at what happened yesterday and look at my emotions and look at my mistakes and look at my upbringing and look at this and look at that and i know that you can draw up a list of 250 mistakes that all reflect these horrible patterns in my life i can't go in to the promised land i will be eaten up immediately he says that's why they didn't go in but if i could align my perspective with god's perspective but if i can align if i could surrender and say you know what maybe my brain or at least my amygdala is really controlled by a lot of trauma maybe at this moment i cannot see it work out but can i believe can i believe what does belief mean belief doesn't mean you're naive and stupid believe means you realize that reality transcends trauma belief means that my reality transcends my need to wrap my brain around everything and make it perfectly fit in to the present confinements of my finite ways of perceiving reality does that just make sense okay i can't repeat it but it came out i hope it was good you get it that's what faith means amuna doesn't mean let me just fantasize and live in a illusory world of hallucinations and dreams and fantasies where things are complete you don't have to be practical no a moon is the most practical reality don't reduce god to your brain's capabilities don't reduce all of reality don't reduce yourself to the way you see yourself at the moment you know who you are you're a sula mutsavatsavarayashi magi hashem you're a ladder whose head begins in heaven and the bottom of the ladder reaches the ground no joke you're literally a piece of god no you don't know me rabbi why why you don't know me [Laughter] i know i don't know you but god knows you he created you i don't know you i don't have to know you the problem is you don't know you you have to know yourself they were slaves we can't go in they're right they're right it was a very difficult pass but if they would have aligned their perspective that itself would turn them into different people who are not defined by those natural confinements it's we have a precedent for this we remember the story of rama vino he couldn't have children he was in for him and sarah they were infertile and hashem tells them this is back in uh in bereishis tesla of genesis 15 god tells avraham go out of your need to be an astrologist because all the astrologists were saying that based on your zodiac sign abraham cannot have a child sarah cannot have a child says god took him outside and he pointed to the stars so why did he take him outside what was wrong staying in the tent go out go out of your box go out of your own perceptions about what you can and what you can't i can't be successful i can't have children or even if i have children i cannot have an amazing relationship with them i cannot have a blissful marriage i cannot be powerful i cannot be gorgeous i cannot be influential i cannot be an ambassador of love light hope goodness kindness my life is a story of misery it's a greek tragedy who am i i can't go out get your posture straightened out physically well as well that would be a good idea if you can but i'm talking about emotionally psychologically spiritually can you see yourself as a channel you are the interlacing link between heaven and earth you're the channel of infinity into finiteness and what does it say about avraham afterwards he had a muna and everything changes everything changes that's the three lines in the svasamas so now let's go to the next step if this is the case if i believe i can't i can't i simply can't if so god argues to moses why have them go and die a violent death in war let them die peacefully in their sleep in their meditation in their trance in the desert and remember this world doesn't end life they will continue to live in the spiritual bliss of heaven this was not a punishment the way we usually understand punishment god says i'm going to destroy them god does never out to punish you ever why would he want to punish you he loves you he wants to help us not punish us this was a natural consequence of their state of consciousness in this state of mind when you can only see one dimension of reality and you're not open to anything else you cannot experience life in any other way the trajectory that i imagine becomes a predictable self-fulfilling prophecy that's how my neural pathways are working and therefore this is what reality gives back to me so even after god forgives the people and the jews want to repent hashem doesn't change his plans why they're staying in the wilderness is not a punishment for sin if it's a punishment for sin they've repented god forgives it's a consequence of their inner state of mind sometimes i'm incapable of entering the land in fact for me it's going to be a dismal failure lacking the faith and lacking the trust in themselves as divine ambassadors as divine messengers not subjected to the laws of nature they would approach the conquest from a natural perspective and naturally they were not up for this enormous task moshe understood this god is not trying to kill out the people as revenge simply they have completed whatever they're capable of achieving in this world there's nowhere for them to go at this point they can't enter the land they're gonna die violently so they completed their task so god says let them continue their lives blissfully in heaven moisture's argument was something else the death of the people will cause the greatest desecration of god's name god is pained by the lack of jewish faith yet this act will cause the greatest absence of faith in god the egyptians and other nations will conclude that hashem is an ept so they can't die in one shot over 40 years in the desert their children will enter into the land and by the way that's why moshe uses the word god god they they the egyptians say god slaughtered them in the desert what's this expression god slaughtered them in the desert why you shot him and as i said before if this is really the issue god is ready to kill out the entire people so then that should be the alarming cry of moshe how could you kill an entire people come on especially when they're repenting we'll get them to repent the word is a very unique word he slaughtered them in the midburg maybe killed them slain them by him what's the idea of shrita when we slaughter an animal the gemara has an expression in huland the word doesn't mean to kill it means to draw and that's why srita is done through the drawing of the knife back and forth spiritually what it means is what justifies shrita is that i'm drawing means to draw i'm drawing the animal from the realm of animal life into the realm of human life which will allow it to become part of the divine oneness that's why it's very important when a person eats to realize that what justifies and what allows me to eat this food whether it's fish whether it's chicken whether it's meat even whether it's a vegetable or a fruit that i detached from its source of life on the tree is that i am elevating the animal elevating the fish elevating the food to the realm of the human by me elevating myself to the realm of the divine is not to destroy them in the desert to elevate them they finish their task here it's going to be a miserable existence if they continue to go there and they die in a violent war let them be elevated to heavenly bliss hashem ultimately responds to maisha and he lets the jews live with moisture and iron for another 40 years now i think it's very clear how powerful the application of this is in each of our lives you know each of us was given his or her her corner of the world i live in my state you live in your stettle we each have our bodies our souls our minds we have our home our family our workplace everyone has their environment they live in your circumstances and it was given to us to transform it into a land that's flowing with milk and honey a space that's saturated with truth with truth authenticity earnestness genuineness a place that becomes filled with meaning with goodness with holiness with beauty with love to make our spaces in life a conduit for for divine oneness for divine infinity at times we feel stuck in the quagmire and the circumstances inside of us or around us each of us has a domain in life that has to be conquered a terrain that needs to be transformed into holy land it begins with my brain each of us has our necessariness my trials my tribulations my insecurities my fear my trauma that i have to confront that i have to deal with my brain my body keeps the score and i have to confront it each of us has those things that i have to deal with within myself and sometimes with the reflections of myself and the people around me each of us is given a land to conquer a body and a soul to make ours and to bring out the best in it turn it into eretz hakker holy land as we look around we often become discouraged or despondent or paralyzed sometimes the task is too great sometimes i'm just getting headaches thinking about it or i feel overwhelmed i feel incapable the odds are against me and there's so much self-blame and self-loathing or other people accusing me of doing the wrong thing and i say i can't be this happy person radiating joy to others and to myself without being a hypocrite the other day somebody shared with me that they are a leader in their community and they speak a lot for their community and they always have to you know put up this face of of confidence and joy and clarity and conviction like i got it together and and judaism is so beautiful and this person is staying and then i go home and inside i feel like such a liar and such a hypocrite and such a loser it's all falling apart inside of me but of course i give off this impression of of invincibility and i got it all together it's really hard for people it's like who is the real me you know it's part of the imposter syndrome right i'm stealing everybody else's information and making it mine it's not even me it's not who i am these are thoughts that all of us have in our own way you know what the more spiritual among you have this in a much more acute way less sensitive in a way it's easier the more sensitive you like feel every every iota of dishonesty and deception and disalignment and it kills you so welcome to the club this is exactly the struggle of the spies you know you tell yourself i can never become this real wholesome person i can never enjoy a real powerful marriage i can never create a really healthy family with all of my trauma and my spouse's trauma can i ever build magnificent relationships with my siblings with my children with my grandchildren with my parents i have too many issues can i ever overcome my social phobia what am i supposed to do with my mental illness what am i supposed to do with my chemical imbalances what am i supposed to do with my mood disorders what am i supposed to do with my personality challenges what am i supposed to do with things that happen to me and my youth can i really overcome these fears me i could lose weight i'm talking about me i can build that career i can create a new path i can discover real meaning in my life i can find my vocation and calling i'm just full of problems let's put it simply some of us need a battle all these forms of fear temptation and what about my addictions and what about my shame there's always the voice of woody there's always the you can always count on woody allen to describe certain realities and he once said confidence is what you have before you understand the problem i love that lie [Laughter] confidence is what you have before you understand the problem and because some of us are so good at understanding the problem there goes the confidence somebody once said if you would have only understood rabbi my situation you would have known that i'm doomed somebody once said i recently had a double bypass surgery as they wheel you in the doctor always gives you a last look you know that look that look of confidence to make you feel good and i always say to every doctor if i don't make it i'll never know it [Laughter] this is a line i once read but here is the secret here is the secret of shlach and maybe one of the great insights in life stop taking things personally see yourself as a divine ambassador god has sent you each one of these realities in your life with the mission and the purpose of transforming your life into a holy land into the promised land the land flowing with milk and honey you have all the strength resources wisdom talent creativity to accomplish it you are enough you have everything you need because you were not sold you were sent back to my house of course of class you were not sold you were sent you're not a victim you're not a mistake you're not a random mutation an infinitesimal blimp on the surface of infinity you were sent by the reborn of shalom with the capabilities and the potential to transform the darkness you were sent into or the challenges you were sent into into life but it all depends on your perspective if you see yourself as a divine messenger than the natural obstacles perceived or even real melt away in the presence of the one who sent you and entrusted you with this mission because these obstacles are also his they're not divorced from him but for this i can't take things personal because then i get stuck in my insecurities my son said this to me my daughter said this to me this one said this this one said that don't get stuck in ego don't get stuck in insecurity don't get stuck in narcissism we have to see ourselves as messengers as emissaries again straighten out your posture the head reaches heaven and the feet touched the ground sula mutsavats of that's the dream of jacob during his first journey from the land of israel into exile he's going to build a family and one day 20 years later come back your child is so giving you an attitude your boss is giving you an attitude someone else is giving you an attitude don't let it become personal it's not him against me she against me me against them then i become small i become helpless i get angry i get neurotic i become petty i become obsessive my ego takes over my trauma takes off god has sent me into this place he has given me these circumstances he has given me these children he has given me this body this mind this soul this history this past present and future in order for me to bring light infinite light into this place to extract opportunities to discover the meaning right here and to transform this terrain of my life into a land flowing with milk and honey see yourself as a humble servant and channel a transparent channel of an infinite god in whose presence there are no barriers no darkness and no impossibilities and then you will notice insanely powerful and positive changes to quote general montgomery the difficult we do immediately the impossible takes a bit longer thank you very much and have a wonderful week we'll take some questions question number one why did moshe then tell the jewish people that god is not with you the people wanted to go back in straw moisture said god is not with them but if they were ready to go back doesn't that mean that they were ready of course the answer is and this derambam explained in the guide to the perplexed which is a very similar idea he says that because they were slaves for so many years they really didn't have it inside of them and 40 years in the desert turned them into warriors and an independent powerful people who can take responsibility for their future and build a nation that's what the rambam writes in his guide to the perplex mayan of it's a similar idea that we have one we have been exploring the point is when they heard the decree and they were broken and they were tormented they said let's go but it was not apparently they were still not emotionally ready you spoke about those of us who as adults stop asking questions i just want to say i never tire of the questions and as an adult i have even more questions aren't we in the same situation today we need this type of a munna good stuff i'm with you have we internalized this lesson so much judaism i feel is living for some of us so much judaism is living from a place of fear sometimes it seems that we have not internalized this message at all what do you think why would someone who is fair falling apart pretend that they're doing amazingly well to the world why can't they be less black and white and more gray can't we just get real [Laughter] i am left speechless i am left speechless by this class that this is the power of ms the power of truth of truth thank you thank you for being here and not just being here physically but also emotionally i have to listen to this again many true ideas but a lot to incorporate and digest in my personal life for transformation from my insight to occur it's a task but i do bless you and god bless you for your commitment to help us all learn grow live and become that channel thank you thank you for sharing that okay beautiful feedback and comments next question oh i see 17 questions on the yeshiva.net okay i am married i am married i appreciate all of your classes including the recent series that you have been doing for people who are divorced even though i'm happily married the validation the empathy is extremely powerful what i get out of this class is never to be a victim and never to wallow in victimhood because that is coming from the eight sahara yes if that's what you got out of the class that's good stuff regards from baitar we're listening to you in betar that means a lot thank you very much i don't understand there's a basic principle of democracy that we go by the majority and not the minority that's also the law on the torah yet we see here that the overwhelming majority of the spies said not to go in so why don't we follow the majority what does this mean this means great question this means that sometimes the minority is right and the majority is wrong yes we follow the majority let's say of besdon you have 71 sages all of them are completely dedicated to the truth and brilliant scholars and motivated to find out the truth and each of them has a perspective so we take a vote we follow the majority but if hashem tells me to go in territory then i don't follow the majority then you follow the truth the question of majority a minority is only when the truth is not clear you understand what i'm saying let me ask you a question when you have the united nations voting to condemn israel instead of hamas so you also follow the majority learn from pinchas jews are a minority in the world and shamrei tero mitzvahs are a minority among jews sometimes the minority has the truth because that's what hashem says what about in a case where the says the person is wrong then even if the majority believes that way it's still wrong it's still wrong i still think the punishment was too great for the sin listen to the class again and i think it will become clear that this was not punishment in the regular sense of the word next question spies gave a factually correct report that is true the problem was that god never asked them to give the conclusion to go in or not to go in he just asked moish asked for a report about the land and maybe the easiest way of conquering it not to conclude that we can't go in yes that's another explanation that's brought and a very important one why does god care about what the egyptians will think good question great question the answer is because are you following the mashiach classes if you found the mashiach classes we've been learning we did this sunday the fourth the fourth uh class in the series of rambam the laws of kings and mashiach and we explained there at length where the rambam says that mashiach is going to repair the whole world all the religions and all the tribes and all the cultures and all the nations are going to become united so it's very important the world is not a mistake what do we say in the davaninga verse hashanah villedakalpo what do i care that every single person who was created and every creature that was formed and everything that has a soul in its nostrils including a rhinoceros and a hippopotamus including a bee in a tree should declare god's oneness that's essential to the purpose of creation yet we do care what the egyptians are going to say the righteous people always argue with god not to wipe us out avraham argues for saddam musha argues many times to save us didn't argue before the flood why not oh good question and the sages in fact say that this was his flaw that he didn't argue before the flood is your class the basis of the sadik's words think good and it will be good meaning that our thoughts affect our reality yes yes and in fact one of the women who's here with us told me that one of my classes on that area and that theme about joy what was it called something about happiness or joy changed her entire life because i told them the story about the altareba when he was davening and he was depressed moments before he passed away he told his grandson that it says in zoe heart sava that life is a mirror and the reflection we express comes back to us so he said when a person is in a state of positivity it creates an energy of positivity in the world are you saying that god gave us all the trauma and that's why it's not real and we could penetrate through it and we can transform it i'm saying that god sent us into all the places we end up in to be able to transform it and bring light there yeah i want to suggest for people to watch one of your classes on the yeshiva.net on shlock it's called all about the love and you explained it that the spies didn't want to go in territorial because they knew that maesha is going to die and they wanted to stay in the desert so they would be able to continue living with maisha yes that is a beautiful interpretation by a man named rip shmuel vital the son of rabbi in vital the student of the arizona and you can watch it in the parish on the yeshiva.net it's a it's a video called all about the love you always talk about people who have low self-image low self-esteem those of us who suffer from trauma why don't you talk about the opposite there are many people with insecurities i know but there are also people who have inflated egos they think they're god's gift to mankind they have unrealistic ideas about their capabilities they think that what they say is true and they know everything about everybody the proper approach is a balanced one you're not that great and you're not that pathetic you're somewhere in the middle okay point well taken thank you point well-taken you're not that great and you're not that pathetic okay i like that maybe we put that on our refrigerator you're not that great and you're not that pathetic you're not the greatest loser who ever lived and you're not the greatest winner who ever lived right almost as good as woody allen's line okay any other questions so i'm going to wish you all if you guys want to unmute yourself and say something on zoom it's fine you have that ability i think and in the meantime i'm going to wish everybody a beautiful day and an inspiring week this class is brought to you by the yeshiva.net please help us continue the classes make even a small contribution at www.theyoshiva.net donate