I Can Only See My Brother's Face When I See My Own - By Rabbi YY Jacobson

The Yeshiva.net Good morning, everybody. Welcome. There's one source sheets. It's one one-sided. It should be enough for everybody. If not, we'll get somebody else, but they made a lot of copies. Okay, we're ready to begin. Somebody's getting them. Anyone that not receive a sheet, please raise your hand. Here, I'm going to I'm going to come around to you. Good morning everybody. Let's put down the rest this is what put down the rest on a chair or whatever one will come to. Thank you. Thank you so much. We're going to be using we're going to be using a worksheet today. So if you want to follow the text inside that's up to you. There are copies on the first chair to my right. And you can get a source sheet. If not, it's also fine. Make yourselves comfortable. There are more chairs I think, right? There's a whole row empty here if somebody wants to sit. Okay, I think we should begin so we know we could begin. Okay, first of all next week there will not be a class. Aw. That's very hard to warm in. Thank you. I'm looking for therapy this week. For validation. I will be in Poland. I will be in Poland this week. Taking 60 70 university students. Taking the students to go to Poland. We will talk about it. If I have anything to tell you about it, I'll tell you. Next week there will not be a class and that Shabbos also not. Um the week after that will be Chanukah. There will be a class Tuesday Chanukah in the morning. The Asian Assembly Network. Okay, welcome everybody and thank you so much for coming this morning. It's known that translations are always problematic. The reason they're problematic sometimes is because the translator is not skilled and professional. Or maybe skilled and professional in one of the languages but not in both of the languages. Or maybe skilled and professional in terms of verbiage, meaning they can technically translate the words but they don't know how to capture the spirit, the geist, the neshama in the new language. So sometimes you'll read an English translation of something in Hebrew. Technically the translation is correct, but really it's a completely inaccurate translation because nothing of the energy or message is conveyed. But sometimes it has nothing to do with either of the above factors. It has to do simply with the fact that the language which is being used to convey the message lacks the vocabulary, the subtlety, the terminology, and the various usages that exist in the original language. But today I'm going to show you how far and drastic this can be. A person could read a Parshas Vayeishev in English. See what it says, go back to the Hebrew, and it seems like it's a very accurate and perfect or more or less perfect translation. Yet, you will see how inaccurate the translation is to the point that it's almost alarming. And yet it's not the translator's fault. They needed to translate it in a way that it would make sense. And if they would really translate what it says in the original, people would look at the English translation and become completely confused. And such an example we're going to see which will allow us to be able to see how the original text really works in a way that few translations can even begin to capture, which really means that when people read it even in the original, they usually don't realize what is conveyed in the text and the subtleties of the particular words that are used. Now always context is always important to be able to understand it. Parshas Vayeishev begins with the story of Yaakov at last returning to his homeland after a long 20 years in exile. We remember the narrative. Yaakov left, he escaped his brother's wrath, and he went to his uncle Laban, where he meets who would become his future father-in-law, his future wife, his future wife, his future wife, his future wife. And everything I say will come out right. I'm sorry. But accurate. And he will marry He will try to marry Rachel, he'll marry Leah, he'll marry Rachel. He'll have Bilhah and Zilpah and ultimately raise a a very interesting family, let's put it that way. 12 sons, one daughter and and at last he would return home. And as he returns home, and that's where Vayishlach takes over. It's been 20 years he was by Laban. 20 years in which he worked and worked hard and raised a family. And now it's time to return home. And at this point he sends messengers to his brother. He sends malachim messengers to his brother. As Rashi says, malachim mamash. And he basically says, I want to find favor in your eyes. I'm looking for reconciliation. Our relationship has not been peaceful. It's not been the best relationship, to put it mildly. But now I want to share with you what I have done, where I have been. Simply to tell you I'm coming back l'mitzei chein be'einekha. The messengers come back and they say we arrived to your brother Esau, and he's approaching you with 400 men. And they're not waiters to deliver food. Obviously it's 200 men to fight. And Jacob is afraid. He's afraid, he's stressed. And he does this whole thing, he prepares for war, he splits up he splits up his camp into two. He davens to Hashem, and he also prepares a lavish bribe. In other words, he's doing whatever he can naturally to remove the threat. If need to be he'll fight. He prays to Hashem to save him and he also decides to take the path of a large extravagant gift to send to his brother. The Torah describes how he slept sleeps there that night by Yolan Shamba Layla and takes and he takes from his assets from his property and he prepares a mincha a gift for his brother Esau. Torah tells us exactly what the gift looked like hundreds of animals. And what happens is he gives them to his servants and he sends them with these gifts to Esau. And now we read inside by Yishlach Perek Lamed Bais Pasuk Yud Ches. I quote by Yitzav Rishon Laymor. He commands the first group because he sends the animals in groups to impress his brother with a larger gift. The first group he says Ki Yifgashcha Esau Imar my brother will meet you with Shaul Cholaymor he will ask you Lemi Ato to whom do you belong Ba'ana Say Lecha and where do you go Lemi Ayla Lifanecha? And these animals in front of you whose are they? Three questions he asks. Who are you to who do you belong? What is your destination and what are these things for? You can answer these three questions in life and you're pretty good off. V'amarata you should answer Le'avdecha Le'Yaakov. Number one we belong to Yaakov. Your servant Yaakov. Mincha Ein Shlucha L'adoni L'Esau. Where are we heading and what is this the last two questions? This is a gift and we're heading to my master Esau. V'hinay Gam Hu Achareinu and he's following us. V'Yitzav Gam Shayni Gam Shlishi Gam Kol Ha'olchim Acharei Adoni Laymor entourage. When you come to Asav, this is what you should tell him. Amartem, tell him "He may have the Yakav after him." Your servant Yakav is behind us. Ki amar, because he says, and I don't have it in English Chumash, but I'm going to give them more or less English translation that you will find in most Chumashim, give or take a word as the This is a word like this. Ki amar, he said "I have upon of I will appease Asav by mincha as lifanei with the gift that is going before me. V'acharei chein er'eh fanav, then I'll see Asav's face. Ulai yisa fanav, maybe he'll atone me. V'atavar mincha fanav, and the gift passes before Yakav who alone balaila hu bamachaneh. And he sleeps that night in the camp. We know of one more night that he slept in the beginning of the story, before the gift, he slept. And now again, that night he slept. When somebody reads this in the English translation, they would not even have a suspicion of something uniquely strange and enigmatic that begs for attention in pasuk alef and pasuk bet, chapter 32 verse 21 and 22 in parshas Vayishlach, namely that the word face is mentioned five times, four times in one pasuk and one in the next. In the English, the context is being translated, not the words. You know why? Cuz I'm going to now translate it literally, and you will see how it sounds, and you'll understand why no translators go this route if they want to sell their books. So now let me give you the real translation. Okay? In English, Yaakov says to them, "Tell Esau that your servant Yaakov is behind us." Now, listen to the sound. Because he said, "Let me appease his face through the gift that goes before my face. THEN I WILL SEE HIS FACE. MAYBE HE WILL ATONE MY FACE." AND THE GIFT PASSED BEFORE his face. Right? But in the English, they'll never do this. They maybe give you one face. From five, they'll maybe give you one. They're going to do a "Let me atone him." Let me appease him. Cuz face is just a metaphor, you know. Let me appease his face. Let me appease him. With the gift that goes before my face? With the gift that goes before me. And then I'll see his face. Okay, that will do. Maybe he WILL ATONE ME, NOT MY FACE. HE'LL ATONE ME. And then the gift PASSED BEFORE HIS FACE. IT PASSED BEFORE HIM. But the possuk clearly uses the word panim five times. "Let me atone him." "I will appease his face with the gift that goes before my before my panim, my face. And then I will SEE HIS FACE. MAYBE HE WILL contain or forgive my face." And the gift passed before his face. It's all about faces, panim. My face, his face, his face, your face, our face, their face. In this case, it's two faces. Now, you'll tell me "Lifnei avnei Hebrew technically means face. But we always use it as lifnei in front of him, right? Before him, in his presence." Say, "Vayetzei Yaakov lifnei Pharaoh." Yaakov leaves me from the face of Pharaoh, from the presence of Pharaoh. The word panim, however, literally means a face. Pnei, right? Pnei is a prominent, it's a face. So, literally it means face. We translate and we say the presence before me, but in the Hebrew the Torah makes sure to mention this word five times. Now, if you think I'm stretching this a little bit, I'm just being a little dramatic, which any real student knows I'm not. I'm just telling you the facts. Bear with me, let's see the continuation of the story. He goes to sleep. Who long he dwells that night the gift is the gift left and he went to sleep. By Yocum who he wakes up. He arises in the middle of that night. Takes his two wives, his two maidservants and his 11 children. Of course, Benjamin is not born yet. I said before 12 it was only 11. Benjamin would be born later and they pass what's called the Yabbok River, the Jabbok River, which we actually can still geographically identify. If you ever visit Israel in great detail, you can go to the location which uh is called the Yabbok, the Yabbok uh the Yabbok, the river of Yabbok. By Yocum he takes them all by Yocum and Yocum all. He passes them over the stream. By Yocum and Yocum all he also passes over the stream everything that belongs to him. Remember, he's crossing from the east to the west, he's coming from Mesopotamia, the area of Iraq, of Turkey from Israel. He crosses the Yabbok River. He's now going over to the west towards Israel. What happens next? Kaf Hey. By Yocum Yocum all. Everyone is on the other side of the river, it's the middle of the night. Yocum now remains alone. Because they all left already. He crossed them over and he's now back on the other side. And a man wrestles with him, wrestled with him until daybreak. The remainder of the night, a man is wrestling with Jacob. And he sees that he cannot get him. Now, who is he? We have to speculate, it doesn't say. By y'all, there's two people there. Jacob is wrestling with somebody. By y'all, and he sees I'm doing just plain text, that he can't get him. Who can't get who? We don't know yet, but he can't get him. By y'all, he got the calf here and he touches his sciatic after the call. So, apparently, it's this adversary who touches Jacob's sciatica so that his sciatica the sciatic nerve is dislocated in the wrestling. And he says to JACOB SEND ME AWAY BECAUSE DAWN BROKE. Jacob says, "No way, I will not sell send you away till YOU BLESS ME." WHAT IS YOUR NAME? MY NAME IS JACOB. HE SAYS, "That's your name? No way." That's not a name for you. It's not a name for a nice Jewish boy. Your name is no more Jacob, your name is Israel. You have prevailed, you have become a star, like a minister, prince with Hashem, with God, and with people, with men, and you prevailed. So, now Jacob says, "What's your name?" By y'all, and he answers, "No more you shall ask me." None of your business. Don't ask me for my name. He does BLESS HIM. NOW, lament out of By y'all, Jacob He decides to give this place a name. The name is Pniel. Why Pniel? But he not so much. Because I saw Hashem face to face and my soul was saved. So the face is playing a significant role. To the point that when he has to summarize the whole experience and he has to choose a name to capture the events of the night, he feels the best name is P'niel, which is P'nei Kel. I saw the face of Kel, the face of Elohim. And when he passed this place called P'nuel, the sun shines and Jacob is limping and the last possuk of this story concludes and says, as a result of that, the Jewish people will not eat the sciatic nerve in the animal, gid hanasheh, until this very day because of what occurred to Jacob. Now, this is the text. If one follows in the Chumash this story, what is the summation of what happens next in the story? The next scene, Jacob opens his eyes. He lifts up his eyes and of course he's sees his brother, Esau. We know what happened in the beginning of Vayishlach. He was preparing for confrontation, conflict, and bloodshed. He sent his humongous, extravagant bribe to appease his uh his gluttonous brother. He prayed to Hashem. We are now expecting, if we don't know the rest of the story, if we didn't cheat, we're expecting the worst. We don't know how it's going to happen, but we're expecting confrontation. What happens suddenly is, out of the blue, Esau runs over to Jacob and he kisses him and he embraces him. He falls on his neck and he kisses him and they both weep. This is a moment. 20 years they have been estranged. The estrangement did not happen on the very peaceful conditions. Esau was deeply hurt by Jacob. But now, Esau hugs him, falls on his neck, kisses him, and they weep. He looks at everything and he asks Jacob, "Who are all these? What are all these?" He says, "These are my children." And then, "What's this whole gift that you sent?" And he says, "It's a gift for you." And Esau says, "You love Esau love. You can keep it. It's yours." But now, there's one more passage which I'm going to read to you. Passage you have in the next paragraph, just to demonstrate the point again. I'm going to read it in Hebrew. And again, often people miss it. Jacob tells Esau, "If you find favor in my eyes, then take my gift from me." "If I find favor in your eyes, take my gift from me." "Because seeing your face is like seeing the face of God." Those are his words. "Seeing your face is like seeing the face of Hashem that you sent me and you you expressed goodwill to me." "Take my blessing that I have brought to you." "Take my blessing that I have brought to you because God has given me everything. He has graced me with everything. I have everything, and he begs Esau and he takes. And then they part ways. Esau doesn't want to part ways. Esau says, "Let's go together." Jacob says, "The time is not right for that. I have a big entourage. We've got to go slow, if not they're going to die." Jacob goes to Succoth, to a place called Succoth, and Esau goes to a place called Seir, and their ways part for the remainder of their lives, as far as we know. That is the story. So, we have the issue of the faces playing itself out three times in the story. Number one, when Jacob is preparing the gift, and he's saying to himself, this whole five times the face, I want to appease his face with the gift before my face, and I'll see his face will forgive my face with the gift before his the gift passes before his face. After the story with the confrontation, he names the place Peniel, cuz I saw Hashem face to face. When he finally meets Esau in reality, he's inspired because he says, "Seeing your face is like seeing Hashem's face." And the obvious question to the serious student is, what's with the faces? What's happening with the faces? Why this entire infatuation, or probably the word is this um entrenchment in the in the area of the face? What's the significance of the face, his face, my face? To the point that he says that seeing Esau's face is like seeing the face the face of Hashem. Okay, let's put that on hold for a few moments. The story that happens in the middle of the night was one of the more mysterious stories in the whole of Tanakh. It's brief, but it's obvious that there's a lot goes on there and it's extremely ambiguous. It's hard to understand what happened. But the story is significant uniquely because of two reasons. First of all, it's the story that gives us our name. And any story that gives you your name is a story you always have to understand. Because name is connected to identity. So if there's a story that gives you your identity, you should figure out that story. Maybe not, but it's probably good to figure out that story if you're looking for self-awareness. Remember this story gave us our name. We are not called Bene Avraham. We're not called Bene Yitzchak. We're not called Bene Yaakov. We are called Bene Yisrael. Our nation is called Am Yisrael, not Am Yaakov, not Am Yitzchak. Our land is not called Eretz Yaakov or Eretz Avraham, even though Avraham was the first one promised the land. It's called Eretz Yisrael. Torah is called Toras Yisrael. A Jew is called Yisrael. Bene Yisrael, Am Yisrael, Eretz Yisrael, Toras Yisrael, not Yaakov. In other words, it's this event that conferred upon us our name to this very day. The name of the Jewish people is in Chumash, in Tanakh, and generally described as Bene Yisrael, Am Yisrael, children of Yisrael. In Bereishit, it's Bene Yisrael. In Shemot, it shifts to Am, Am Yisrael. We become a nation, but that's later, not in this book yet. Now we're still a family, a a tribe, children of Yisrael. So the name was not given by Avraham, Yitzchak, Yaakov. It was given by this mysterious fellow in the middle of the night. That's number one which makes the story significant. Number two, it's the only clue we might have of how Esau had a change of heart. Because we're trying to seek we're trying to seek some sequence here, some logic. Esau Yaakov wants reconciliation. Esau is coming with the intention of war. It's clear. Jacob is frightened. Says by Yirah, by Yetzer, he's frightened, he's stressed. Rashi says he was afraid to die. He was afraid that his family would die. And Rashi also says he was stressed out that he may have to kill somebody else. There's two elements to war. There is the fact that the people who are fighting might be defeated, but even if they're successful, they have a separate fear. The fact that we have to engage in this type of activity is never, never fun. It's never exciting. It's always um uh It may be the right thing, but it's the painful thing. It may be the right thing to fight and kill, but it's never gishmak. It's not something you choose. War is not something you choose. So, Jacob is distressed even by the possibility of victory, not by the possibility of defeat, which is a very subtle and interesting idea as well. I think Jews have taken it a little too far, but to the point of self uh self-destruction, but nonetheless, we see that ideally, there is a very serious uh war is a very serious dilemma, even if you're right and even if you're going to win. It's not simple. So, we're expecting something. What happened in between? The only thing we know is he sent the bribe, but Esau didn't change his mind because of the bribe. Cuz Esau was asking Jacob, "What's all this?" Ah, there, keep it. So, something happened to Esau. What? He didn't have a dream. He didn't have an epiphany. He didn't have a vision of God. He didn't go to therapy. What did Esau do in between preparing for war and then seeing his brother and just kissing him and crying in him as though they were the best friends in the world. We're looking for the clue. The missing link is the confrontation in the middle of the night. But the confrontation in the middle of the night doesn't seem to address the conflict between Jacob and Esau. It seems to address another theme, but it's PUT RIGHT IN BETWEEN. Jacob sleeps, sends the gift off, passes his family over. We're now ready for confrontation the next day. THAT NIGHT SOMETHING HAPPENS AND THE NEXT DAY there's peace. This means that this story is the clue, obviously. It's the missing link. That's why it's put right here in the MIDDLE OF THE DRAMA. IT interrupts the whole story, even though it's not really relevant directly to the narrative of Jacob and Esau, cuz this is the key of the story, the core of the story. So that's why it's so important to understand this story besides wanting to understand it. It first of all gives us our name and secondly well it has the clue for Jacob and Esau's relationship. So now let's look at the story for a few minutes. The story is, of course, as I said, extremely enigmatic. I'm going to start with a klotz kash. And I'm now following text itself. Of course, the meforshim have lots and lots of commentary on all of this because of the difficulty of the text. But let's analyze the text itself. The text begins and says, "Vayevaser Yaakov levado." Jacob remains alone. "Vayevak ish imaylo ad alos hashachar." So you probably know it from the song. "Vayevak ish imaylo ad alos hashachar." A man wrestles with him till daybreak. Now the obvious question is what does the word "levado" mean? What does "levado" in the Tanakh mean? "Levado" is alone. In fact, we have it in the first parsha. Hashem says, "Lo tov heyos Adam levado." It's not good for a man to be alone. He needs a wife to disagree with him. "Aseh lo ezer k'negdo." I just give literal translations with it. I'm not inventing anything. You don't have to quote it in my name, but I'm giving you the English translation. S L A's a connected. And I mean in other words, in essence of agreement you have with Jacob and Jacob said it's a biblical commandment that I should disagree with you. Not a biblical commandment, it's just a biblical fact. Lavado means alone. remains alone. As far as I'm concerned, if I would say that you remained alone in a particular place, it means there's nobody there. Suddenly you tell me a man wrestled with him. So it wasn't Lavado. So there was somebody there. There was an ish. However you wanted to find that man, why introduce a scene that is not factual? YOU COULD SAY Jacob remained without his family, without his support system, without Rachel and Leah, without Bilhah and Zilpah, without Reuben, Simeon, Levi, and Judah, the big boys. The big boys that you wouldn't start up with. And a man wrestled with him. It says Lavado, he was alone. But if you're alone, there's nobody there. THAT'S NUMBER ONE. NUMBER TWO, IF somebody came especially to attack him and tried to kill him, he just couldn't. So he did the second to the best option, which was hurt and maim him, wound him, dislocate his sciatic nerve so that he would be he would basically be limping. So that's what happens. He's limping. Now Jacob tells him, "It's morning. Leave me alone." Morning is a reason for him to leave him alone. Why? And the man says, and I'm sorry, the adversary tells Jacob, "Morning has come. It's over. The game is over. THE FIGHT IS OVER. But why? If I want to get you, okay, so it's morning. And Jacob says, "I will not do it. I want your blessing. I want your blessing." Again, on the surface, a gangster attacks somebody in the middle of a dark alley, tries to kill them, names them. Now you have them under your grip. Okay, you have them under your grip and they tell you, "Leave me alone." And you say, "No, no, no, I want a brocha." You call 911. You don't ask for a blessing. He wants a blessing. Instead of blessing him, the man says, "What is your name?" Oh, you mean you don't know who you attacked the whole night? What type of question is this? Oh, you don't know who you came to? Oh, you thought my name was Finkelstein? You thought my name was Ishmael? What what's the issue here? Mashmecha? So you mean you just popped out, you saw this guy, and you just pounced on me, you caused me to limp, you first tried to defeat me, you couldn't defeat me, so you dislocated and now you want to know what my name is? And Jacob says, "My name is Jacob." And he says, "Oh, let's change your name." If you knew my name to the point that you want to change my name, you could have just come and say, "You want a brocha, let's change your name." First he asks him for his name. When he identifies himself as Jacob, he says, "That's not a good name for you." But one second. First you try to kill me, then you maim me. Now I ask you for a blessing and now you're changing my name. Who asked you to change my name? When Jacob asks him for his name, instead of being gracious, you tell me your name, I tell you my name, he's like, "None of your business. Don't ask me for my name." And he gives him another brocha. And then right after that, Jacob decides that he saw God face to face and he was saved and he names it Peniel. And the next scene, Esau shows up. And this time, Esau is a different person. He's kissing him and crying and hugging him and embracing him. And at least at that moment, there is a tender emotion of the natural love that siblings are capable of experiencing before all the complications that often take place as siblings develop and try to find themselves in a big scary world. So, the truth is that the clue to all of this is of course the face. That's why the face is so important. What Yaakov is really concerned about is with Esau's face and his face. And you see it all along. That is why when he sends this gift, what he says is, "I want to reach his face." How? Through the gift that goes before my face. Then I could see his face. Then he will forgive my face. So, the gift passed before his face. What Yaakov is saying is, "I'm looking for my brother's punim." But the only way my brother's punim, my brother's face can be reached is if I could find my punim, my face. So, he goes back and forth, back and forth. And that night something happens. And when he emerges from that night, he says, "I saw the face." And now when he meets Esau and Esau hugs him and Esau Esau says, "I don't need your gift." And Yaakov says, "Take kach es birchasi. Take my bracha because seeing your face was like seeing the face of Hashem." Which is why most meforshim ocean identify that man whom Jacob wrestled with as somebody to do with what Rashi calls Sarah and Esau, the guardian angel of Esau, the Malach of Esau, the prince of Esau, the source of Esau, the soul of Esau. Because Jacob says he saw Hashem face to face and that's what he would later say to Esau. So it seems like the two are connected. But what does this really mean? Why that night is he meeting not the physical Esau, but the Sarah of Esau? The spiritual Esau. Before he's going to actually meet Esau. And what's the Lavado? It's not alone. An angel is a presence. Why is it Lavado? And of course the simplest and deepest explanation and the simplest the simpler explanation simple explanations are always the deepest explanations. Because real depth is primal and simple. It usually defies sophistication. It leaps over sophistication. If I would tell you and I would ask you to tune in to the following sentence. He or she remained alone. And a man wrestled with them with with with he or she until dawn break, but they were alone. This person was alone, it would of course mean that who would they wrestle? Themselves. They were wrestling themselves. If I'm wrestling myself, of course I remained alone. So the man that Jacob wrestled was Jacob. Jacob was wrestling with Jacob. In other words, remaining alone and wrestling with a man, not only are they not a contradiction, they actually explain each other. Because he was alone, he he wrestle with himself. When you're not alone, you could wrestle with other people. So, you could deflect your issues on other people. They're called smokescreens. You have people to blame. You have people to engage. You have people to reflect you or reflect you back to yourself through them, in them. It can get very complicated. It could be a little complicated. Depends on your life story. But when you're alone, when you're alone, not just physically, but when you're alone existentially, levado in bereishis doesn't mean lo tove adam levado, it's not good for man to be alone simply to be one man in the physical spatial sense. There should be another person in the house because, you know, he's clueless. He won't be able to live. Levado, of course, also means existentially alone. Am I alone in the world? What we would call a sense of loneliness. A solitary person. Are you alone in the world? When Yaakov is alone, completely alone, and there's nobody there, now he's not wrestling anybody else. Who is he wrestling? He could finally, at last, at the good news, you could at last wrestle WITH WHOM YOU HAVE TO WRESTLE. And that's not anybody else. You never have to wrestle with anybody else. Why should you have to wrestle with anybody else? The only reason we wrestle with anybody else is to avoid wrestling with ourselves cuz it's far more comfortable to wrestle with others than it is to wrestle with yourself. There's a lot there, I think. But, right? Okay. Thank you. But at this point, there's nobody to wrestle with. There's nobody to blame. So, by your own admission my other lesson shall I And what happens at the end of the struggle is somebody is limping. The sciatica has been removed. And when Jacob wants a blessing, he says first I have to know your name. And when he says his name, he says we have to change it. So, what do we have here? What do we have? So, I'm going to describe now a condition, a story, a reality. And I have to give this as a very important uh introduction. And that is when it comes to Jacob himself when we speak about Jacob, Esau, Abraham, Hagar, Ishmael, Leah, Rachel, any character in Chumash, as I told you, we can always talk about it on two levels. There's the literal person who lived and there is the the conceptual person who lives. Who lives in your heart, who lives in my heart, who lives in all of our hearts, who lives in our lives. The Ramban writes meaning any story in Torah can be interpreted on two levels, on a concrete level and as a spiritual idea which lives on. It's not only about the physical story. There was another great commentator, a Kabbalist, he's known as Rabbi Menachem Azariah Fano from Italy and he writes the opposite. He writes that the physical story is only a remez. Meaning the physical story is only a remez. The real story is not even a physical story. The real story is actually a metaphysical story, a spiritual story. It's just using physical symbolism. So, Jacob ran away is really uh representing an idea. The Ramban says it's speaking about a physical story and it's alluding to a spiritual story. The Ramah writes it's speaking about a spiritual story and it's alluding to a physical story. When we only take the physical story, we deplete so much of what is going on in the story. So, I'm now going to take Jacob and Esau as two models that live on in our own lives and apply it to our lives. How it applies to Jacob and Esau originally in Jacob as one of the three others, it will have to be understood on a much more abstract and a much, I would say, more subtle, much much more subtle level. But now I want to I'm going to discuss it not in such a subtle level. I'm going to discuss it on a more concrete level, the way it's applied in terms of people's own internal Jacob and Esau. And this is an important disclaimer for various reasons. He asks him for his name. He says, "MY NAME IS JACOB." He says, "Wrong name. We have TO CHANGE THE NAME." And the words he uses are, he says, "Lo Lo JACOB YA AMIR SHAM KAKHIM YISRAEL." WHAT'S THE PROBLEM with Jacob? Well, the reason you were named Jacob is because yada yachaz is ba'akev Esau. When Jacob was born, he was holding on to the heel of his brother. In other words, Jacob is not even a name that describes him. It's a name that describes HIS BROTHER. A KEIV IS A KEIV ESAU. JACOB WAS was It was a cute scene. I mean, they took a lot of pictures. You can imagine the scene. This little infant comes out and you know, he's grabbing on TO THE A KEIV. I mean, for Rivka, it probably wasn't such a cute scene, but but it was a difficult pregnancy. But but Jacob was snapping pictures and the nurses were screaming mazel tov and now Jacob Yitzchak. Yitzchak. And they know went on the way went on the how much how much they weighed, etc. But the concept is they named him Jacob because he's holding on to Esau's heel. So, right when they're born, Rashi already says he's trying to stop him from coming out. He wants to come out first. Yaakov wants to come out first. He wants to be ahead of Esau, and he's holding onto that heel, so they name him Yaakov. That's scene number one. That's where the name comes from. But now, scene number two, the next scene about them as they grow up, they eat one another. Yaakov goes to the tents. He's a wholesome fellow. And Esau, as we discussed, is a man of the field. He's a skilled hunter. Rivka loves Yaakov. Yitzchak loves Esau. Esau feeds him beside it. Bifibius has a trap in his mouth. And then, of course, one day Esau comes home exhausted, starving. He asks Yaakov for food, a lentil soup. And Yaakov says, "No problem, but that birthright I want." That's a replay of the womb. You held onto my heel then, unsuccessfully, and now you actually want to take it. And Esau sells him the birthright of Kahane. And then, in the next scene concerning Yaakov and Esau, it repeats itself. Yitzchak wants to bless Esau, and Yaakov dresses up like Esau and takes the blessings, identifying himself not as Yaakov, but as Esau. And that's why he ran away, and that's why Esau despises him. When Esau tells Yitzchak, when he discovers Yaakov's actions once again, he says, "Ach, HE CALLED MY YAAKOV. I AT LAST I KNOW WHY YOU NAMED him Yaakov. Vayakveini Zeh Pa'amayim, because Yaakov means two things. It means a heel. It also means to outsmart. He outsmarted me twice in this crooked way He took my Kahane and my Bracha, my birthright and my blessing, and he decides that after Yitzchak passes on, he will finally get rid of Yaakov, who is always taking from him what is so valuable to him." And they leave. They part ways. Yaakov runs. Now, after 20 years, Yaakov is coming back. He sends a lavish gift to appease him. But before he meets him, there's somebody else he has to meet. Before you meet your brother, you always have to meet one more person. And that is yourself. And your brother I mean here, it could be your brother, it could be your mother, it could be your sister, it could be God, it could be your husband, it could be anybody, but it's that person with whom you have had to struggle very deeply. That person who you felt always wants to kill you. Physically or emotionally. You don't necessarily have a person who wants to kill us physically, but there's a person in whose presence we feel a little more dead emotionally. There's a person that after you get off the phone with them, you may not be able to articulate it to yourself unless you really self-aware, but you feel a little more dead. You get back to reality because uh somebody got to run the house and somebody got to uh you know whatever you got to do. But it's and you used to it. We get used to deadness. In life we become you somebody once said most people live lives of quiet desperation. People get used to living a life Everybody knows what quiet desperation means? Maybe you don't know the words, but probably the concept you understand. Quiet desperation means desperation, you know what desperation is, but it's quiet. We learn to silence it because we don't want to have to deal with it. So this are sometimes a sense of deadness that sets into one somebody's heart that you just become used to. And it's it's almost like, "Okay, we go there and we come back and we go there and we come back." Before I could meet that person, I have to be able to meet myself. And that self I will only meet the middle of the night. I will not meet them in the presence of my wife, in the presence of my children, in the presence of my servants, in the presence of my assets. Because in those in the presence of those people, I have developed already in character. I have developed umph. I have garnered assets. I have gained reputation and success. It's always a middle of the night, which is always a metaphor to a place of darkness, a place of isolation, a place of aloneness. Nobody sees what's going on. This is not external. This is very internal. By Layla here, by Esau, it's not just physical night versus day. It's symbolic night versus day. And it's always Layla because it's very, very internal. And the question that Jacob has to answer on that fateful night is a very simple but a very profound question. And that is, will you forever hold on to your brother's heel? Will you forever need his birthright? And will you forever yearn for his blessings? Simply put, you have people who deep, deep down, deep, deep down, they never really celebrate their own identity. They'll never forgive God for really creating them. Deep, deep down, they are so lonely because they will never allow themselves to appreciate their own dignity. And there will always be somebody else that they look at who represents for them so much more success, so much more happiness. If I can only have maybe the skills of Esau. If I could only have the know-how of Esau. If I could only be loved by my father like Esau was is. If I could only be out there in the field like Esau. If I could be a skilled hunter like Esau. If I could grow up as fast as Esau and Esau comes from the word ushly as she says when he was born they said, "Wow, he's mature. Look at this. Such a big kid." If I can only have that those qualities of conquest, of ambition, of success, of charisma like Esau. Maybe if I could be as emotional as Esau. Have such a relationship with my dad as Esau. Perhaps my life could be more successful. I would be successful. So on some level I try vicariously to live my life through my brother. Or through other people. Or through my society. Or through my community. Or through whatever they say is the way you have to live BECAUSE WHO I AM I'M THE KLUTZ. I'M the loser. I'm the nerd. I will always hold on to your heel to give me guidance and direction to be able to know how to live my life. AND THEREFORE we have here a metaphor of a condition that exists in many different ways more subtle, more blunt, more abstract, more tangible, more complicated, less complicated. But the common denominator is always the same common denominator. And that is that I could never really embrace my soul that Hashem has given me fully. I could never really embrace my body that Hashem has given me fully. I may blame it my Esau may be sometimes religion. It may be a book. IT MAY BE A TEXT, IT COULD BE SO MANY DIFFERENT THINGS, BUT it's always that which I have to be in order to be able to be because my being is just not really really not good. My primal self is quite evil or quite nerdy or quite ugly or quite horrible. And whatever I have to do to hold on to your heel, I will do. I will take your birthright. I will take your blessing because I need to be you. On this night, Jacob wrestles with himself and he asks himself a very deep question. Can you accept Jacob? Can you really embrace Jacob? Can you really be Jacob? Can you? It's a very deep conflict and in the morning he will find out that he was limping. What does limping represent? We're not talking about a physical limp. We're talking about a psychological limp. The person limping has all of their limbs and organs and they're functional, but their stature cannot be straight. My stature is compromised. Why? Because the only way I can justify my existence in this world is if I am wounded and maimed. To me for me to be fully present is a horrible thing. It's horrible. If I could limp, IF I COULD BE CRUSHED, OH, now I can justify my existence. I suddenly learn that that's what I have been doing all my life. Physically I may have been standing up, but emotionally I have always been limping and there's always that person who will remind me that if I don't limp, I should not live. They will always remind me that I need to limp. I'm limping. That's what he described to him. He emerges and this man, Yaakov says, "Don't leave me alone. I know it's morning. The lights are shining. I have to put on my tie and project perfection. I have to come give a shiur. It has to be good. Bless me. Bless me. The man says, "You don't need a bracha. You need a name change. Tell me your name." That's the key question. Tell me your name. Says, "My name is Yaakov." I know that. Of course I know your name, but you have to know your name. Let's change it. You can't be holding on to your brother's heel. You have to realize Sarisa, you're a sar. You're a you're you're a prince. Yisrael is letters li rosh, my head. Own your head, NOT YOUR BROTHER'S HEEL. You're not even owning YOUR HEEL. YOU'RE OWNING YOUR BROTHER'S HEEL. YOU DON'T EVEN OWN YOUR OWN HEEL. OWN your head. Leave. Yisrael is li rosh. Sarisa, you have wrestled with God and with men and you have prevailed. You're a wrestler. You're a wrestler. You weren't born to lose. You were born to fight and to win. Sarisa melech im Elohim v'im anashim. Now Yaakov turns to him and says, "What's your name?" He says, "You don't want to ask that. I am your nameless self. I am your self before you ever had a name. That's my value. That's who I remain. I remain your nameless self. Vayivarech otam sham. He blesses him there. And Yaakov says, "This day I saw the face of God." What does this mean? The next scene, Esau meets Yaakov. What does he do? He kisses him. He hugs him. He cries on him. HE EMBRACES HIM. WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT HAPPENED was that Yaakov met Yaakov for the first time. Once Yaakov met Yaakov, Esau could also Yaakov. And suddenly he sees a brother, not somebody who's under his skin, in his kishkes, trying to replicate it. He sees a brother. Wow, you're my brother. Brothers love each other. Believe it or not. Sisters love each other. Just how it is. Or it's how it really is. Is it always that? Well, of course not, cuz they don't know themselves. But brothers love brothers, primarily. Sisters love sisters. In fact, there's a relationship between siblings that you can't even have with your spouse or with your children always. I'm not talking here about dysfunctional abusive families. I'm talking here ideal states where relationships are worked out. Because there's something my sister knows about me that nobody will know. There's a part of you that your brother knows that nobody will know. If you know what I'm talking about. If you have a relationship with your siblings, you know exactly what I'm talking about. There's a certain essence they know, cuz they know you They know you, how do we say it? You're made out of the same stuff. You're made out of the same mishigas. You know what I mean? Your spouse is trying to figure you out your whole life. Like, she He's normal, he's not normal, he's trying, he's a half mishugah, almost mishugah. He means well, he's clueless, etc. Good luck with figuring him out. But it's essentially a stranger you're trying to figure out, even though you become close. When you deal with it and parents is very heavy. Siblings has something very powerful to it. Because there's there's there's a vulnerability. That's if you trust your siblings at all. There's a vulnerability. There's like a certain in the eyes, a sister knows a brother, a brother knows a brother, brother knows a sister in ways they played together, you know, in the same house killing each other when they were in diapers and even before that. And that's something special. But for that you have to be able to see your brother. But the problem is, it's very hard for us to see our brothers because we see our brothers as the competitiveness, the energy, who gets more of the mother, who gets more of the father, who's more successful, who married better, who lives in this house, who's more this, who's more that. You don't even know your brother, your sister. Because you don't know yourself. You haven't made peace with yourself. So something in your brother or sister triggers a void that you have in yourself. When Yaakov meets Esau, Esau could meet Yaakov. As long as Yaakov doesn't meet Yaakov, Esau can't meet Yaakov. All Esau feels is there's somebody who's trying to eat something, to feed off his energy, and it's driving him mad. He doesn't even know how mad it's driving him. So what happens now is Esau embraces Yaakov with full full passion. But it goes one step more. And that is, what about Esau himself? You see, Esau himself has a face. The word panim comes from the word pnimius. The word panim comes from the word pnimius. And the reason is cuz the part of our body that projects mostly our pnimius is always our face. The back is more similar between people. It's hard to identify people from their back unless you really know everything about their physique. But the face is unique. The Gemara says ain partsufin shavin, no two faces are alike. Even twins, if you grow up with them, you know no two faces are alike. Every face is unique. And when you look at a person's face, the pasuk says chachmas adam tarei panav, the wisdom of a person is expressed through their panim. And therefore panim is a face, but it's also the seat of your penimius. Your internal unique identity somehow shines through your face in one form or another. Some people are more sensitive to it, some people are less sensitive to it. There's a whole Hochma Hochma, there are parts of the Hochma of the face. But then even without that Hochma, just the face has the penimius of a person more than any other part of the body. And therefore, Yaakov speaks so much here about the face. Because as a result of Eisav not knowing Yaakov, Eisav also doesn't know himself. And for Eisav to know himself, Yaakov has to know himself. And for Yaakov to know himself, Yaakov When Yaakov knows himself, Yaakov could know Eisav. And Eisav could know Eisav. But in order to know Eisav, in order for Eisav to know Eisav, in order for Yaakov to know Eisav, Yaakov knows that he has to be able to see Eisav's face, Eisav's penimius. Because the entire problem is that people don't communicate face-to-face, only back-to-back. The Arizal talks about two relationships, four relationships. I'll say them in Hebrew and then translate. Panim b'panim, achor b'achor, panim b'achor, achor b'panim. One relationship is back-to-back, like this. Another relationship is face-to-back. Another relationship is the other face to the other back. And then there's another relationship called panim b'panim, face-to-face. It's four different types of marriages. Some marriages, they're very connected, but they never see each other. The couple never sees each other. They see only the back of the other one. And the only way they see the back of the other one is through their own back. So, they both bring in their backs into the relationship. Then you have face-to-back, back-to-face. And then you have face-to-face. Panim b'panim. means my face comes in and the other person's face comes in. My pnimius comes in. So, I'm there with my full presence and my full essence. But for that, I have to be able to know my own pnimius and then I could bring it into a relationship because when my pnimius comes into a relationship, then I could be fully present without feeding off your energy because I know my face. And whenever you know your face, not only your back, you can create space for another person's face. But when you don't know your face, you can never create space for another person's face because YOU'RE BUSY FEEDING OFF THE OTHER person because you don't know your face, which means your relationship with the other person is ONLY THROUGH THEIR BACK, NEVER THROUGH THEIR FACE. Did you understand what I said? I just want to make sure I'll be talking to men and I'll have to do another 2 hours of explanation. So, I'm glad you understood. So, what happens here is Yaakov needs to discover Esau's face. Now, Esau's face is not so easy to discover. Cuz we go back to our theme over a few weeks and that is Esau got very bad rap. Nobody looked at his face. Esau was always looked at from a back perspective. That was Esau's story. Esau is this and Esau is that and Esau is that. By 9 years old, he was thrown out of every conceivable Yeshiva in New York. By the age of 15, he has been to 29 Yeshivas. Esau is the ultimate one who is rejected. Yitzchak loves Esau, but the truth is Esau has a different path. But Esau is essentially not evil. He struggles. But for this, you have to be able to see Esau's face. So, I said this morning a story that the Bal Shem Tov was once asked by a mother to pray for his child for her child who was ill. And he prayed and to no avail. And she came desperately pleading with him that he prays. And the Bal Shem Tov asked his gabbai to go to the city and gather all the Stadt Gaon of them. Every self-respecting Jewish city had a group of thieves. They still have it in many Jewish cities where people steal in order to support their family. It was considered a very dignified way of of supporting your family. In some places it's still considered a very dignified way of making parnossa. And this was a group that was called Stadt Gaon of them. And the Bal Shem Tov summoned them. They all had respect for the Bal Shem Tov so they came. And he says, "Havera, let's daven for this child." And they davened. They davened. They davened. And the boy recovered. And the talmidim, the students of the Bal Shem Tov came and said, "Rebbe, we don't understand. You have here talmidim. You have a group called Chevraya Kadisha. A holy group. Giants. People who are giants. Giants in Torah. Giants in avoda. Thieves?" The Bal Shem Tov said something which superficial people think is anecdotal, but is profoundly deep and subtle. The Bal Shem Tov said as follows, "I saw that the gates of heaven were locked. And there was a lock on the gates that could not be opened up by any of my prayers. So, I had to summon people who know how to break locks. That's why I summoned them." What does the Bal Shem Tov say? The rebellious child who becomes the thief, you could look at him in two levels. You could look at him from the back, from the acharayim, meaning you don't see him for what he is. You see him the way he's projected and perceived by you, which is a difference of face and back. A back means I see you FROM MY PERSPECTIVE AND I DEFINE YOU FROM MY PERSPECTIVE. I reduce YOU TO THE BOX THAT I'M CAPABLE OF FORMING. Many relationships are back-to-back. I reduce you to my imagination, you reduce me to your imagination, and I was supposed to connect. Imagine. The husband sees the wife completely from his perspective. She sees him completely from her perspective. They're not even seeing the same person. He's talking to her, he's talking to one person. She's talking to herself, she's talking to another person. She's talking to him, she's talking to a third person. When they're TALKING TO EACH OTHER, there's four people talking to four different people. That's what's really happening. Why? Because means I see you from my imagination. I put you in my box. And that's what we do with people. You see a person, you meet a person, you define them based on terminology you know. Maybe a person Some people are extremely extremely They have a depth that you don't even know about. But for that, I have to acknowledge that there are things I know, there are things I don't know, there are things that I don't know, but I know that I don't know, there are things that I DON'T KNOW, BUT I DON'T KNOW THAT I DON'T KNOW. AND THAT'S 99% OF REALITY. SO, how many people understand that most of reality they don't know that they don't know? You don't have to all raise your hands at once. BUT TILL I ACKNOWLEDGE THAT, I can't see anybody's face. Because I'm busy knowing. Faces begin in not knowing, always. Because then my box can expand. So Asaph, I can look at this kid who's a thief and say, "I've got it. I've got something. I shriek." A terror. What? Does Doesn't work Doesn't work out. And I may be His behavior may be horrible and reprehensible. What the Bal Shem Tov was saying is you don't understand. They know how to break locks. If you'll teach them how to break locks in heaven, that's what they'll do. If not, they'll break other locks. They have a spirit. They're revolutionaries. What are you going to revolt against? IF THE SKY IS NOT THE LIMIT, IF YOU CHANNEL their revolutionary powers to change the world, THEY'LL CHANGE THE WORLD. IF NOT, THEY'LL BREAK pathetic locks. And that's where the outlook for the energy will be. That's what the Gemara says, "Al tigu b'Mashiach." The possuk says, "Don't touch my Mashiach." So what does the Gemara say, you know? "Eilu tinokos shel beis rabban." These are the children. What does it mean? It means a child in his or her own imagination is a little Mashiach. Every child. Think when you were a child, you dreamt. And in your In your dream imagination, you owned the world. But as we grow up, somebody kills the Mashiach in us. Somebody says, "Stop being an idiot. You're a klutz. Just get 70 on your next test. That's the goal. And that's it. And if you could just walk through and not make any waves and nobody should notice you, so we could hatch you, match you, dispatch you, and just create a new generation, you're good to go. Al tigu b'Mashiach eilu tinokos shel beis rabban. Don't destroy the child in people. Cuz that's the anointed one. Mashiach means anointed. That's the voice in you that says, "I could create redemption." I can create redemption, but so many voices say, "Just be quiet. Make challah." Now, I don't mean make Make challah is a good thing. Make challah is a good thing, but what I'm talking about is if you have a voice in you, sometimes it's repressed. It says, "Just do what your neighbor does." So, what happens here is Esau's face is often Nobody even knows about it. Who knows about Esau's pnimius? The head of Esau is buried where? In the bosom of Yitzchak. Says, "You're not supposed to bury a tzaddik by a rasha." But the head of Esau is not wicked. The head of Esau is actually holy. The pnim of Esau is very holy. So, now Yaakov went through a whole process. And in order to discover this process, he has to go far away. And when he goes far away, Rivka tells him something. And this is something that is often ignored. When Rivka sends him away from the house, she says, "Run away and stay by my uncle for a few years ad asher tashuv hamas achicha until the wrath of your brother relaxes ad shuv af achicha mimcha until the wrath of your brother goes away from you." Goes away from You hear? Yeah, from you. Now, nobody translates this. Goes away from you. Esau is angry at you, but you know why he's angry at you? You don't know Esau. You're angry at him. You never accepted Esau. He says, "Ad asher tashuv hamas achicha until the wrath of your brother goes away." You got it. Then it says, "AD SHUV AF ACHICHA MIMCHA." WHAT IS SHE SHE WAS JUST SAYING IT AGAIN. NO, NO, NO. "AD SHUV AF ACHICHA MIMCHA." THE WRATH OF YOUR BROTHER GOT TO GO AWAY FROM YOU. From you, Yakov. And who is this? This is Rivka. RIVKA WHO LOVED YAKOV. RIVKA WHO DID THIS WHOLE MAASEH WITH THE BROCHOS. THE WRATH of your brother has to go away from you, and that's why I'm sending you away. I'm not sending Eisav away. Eisav has to stay with his father as the stuff. When he goes to When he goes to Lavan, he wants to marry Rochel. That's his wife. That's the familiar woman. That's the familiar self. But suddenly he discovers Leah, which is the unfamiliar spouse. The spouse that doesn't suit my imagination like a hand in a glove. The spouse that challenges me very deeply. The spouse that tells me you really got to find out who you are and expand your horizons out infinitum. After that whole process, he now comes back. And he sends messengers to Eisav. Eisav is going to war. He wants to kill his brother. 20 years later he wants to kill him. So Yakov prepares a gift. And Yakov focuses only on one thing, the face. Achap panav. I want to appease his face with a gift that will go before my FACE. THEN I'LL BE ABLE TO SEE HIS FACE. I WANT TO SEE MY BROTHER'S FACE. I DON'T WANT TO FOREVER LOOK AT MY BROTHER AND NEVER SEE HIM. ONLY SEE HIM as my enemy, AS MY VOID, AS MY RELATIONSHIP AS HOW I PROTECT HOW I IMPRESS HIM, HOW I RUN from him, how I approach him, how I envy HIM, HOW I GET HIM, HOW I DON'T GET HIM, HOW I AVOID HIM. For once, I don't want to do anything. I just want to see your face. I don't have to be in the relationship. I don't have to be something cuz I could see your face. Just you. IT'S NOT YOU THE WAY I'M BUSY DEFINING YOU, manipulating you, FIGURING YOU OUT, TURNING YOU INTO THIS AND TO THAT. WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO BE THIS? WHY DOES HE WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. They are they. Just relax. But the mind can't accept faces. I turn you into something else. My back. Back. I want to see Esau's face. And if I see his face, you know what will happen? He will accept my face. So the gift passes before his face. That night he wakes up and he wrestles himself. And he learns about his face. So when Hazal say he was fighting Esau's guardian angel, that's exactly what it means. He was fighting the Esau in him. Who am I? Am I Jacob? Am I Esau? If I want to be Esau, I can't see Esau for who he is cuz I'm busy turning him into me and turning myself into him. Cuz I don't know who I am. So I don't EVEN KNOW WHO ESAU IS. So at the end of this confrontation, the guy says, "YOUR NAME GOT TO GO. JACOB HAS TO GO TO ISRAEL. DONE. STOP CALLING YOURSELF JACOB. It's not a name issue, it's an identity issue. So he says, "I saw God face to face and my soul survived." Why don't we want to see our faces? We're afraid we're going to die. Cuz we don't understand that our face is God's face. The neshama is a chelek elokai mimaal. My face is a klutz. My identity is blah. It's It's either it's evil or it's just a loser of losers. It's the face of God. So you're running away from God's face. So it's funny. We look to God to run away from God. People run to God to run away from God. That's tragic. Because your face is a connection to Peniel and Kidron. So, where you running to? So, it's like God sends you right back. You'll find me with you. He says, "I survived. Wow." By Israel Hashem when the sun shines. And we never eat from the Gid Hanasheh till that day. We don't want to limp. When Esau experiences this, SUDDENLY ESAU SEES JACOB. WOW, what a cute brother. What a cute, INTERESTING BROTHER. I PROMISE YOU YOUR BROTHER HAS A VERY interesting personality. We just don't have the mental space to give it to him. WE CAN'T AFFORD IT. I'M TOO BUSY SURVIVING. I I'M NOT GOING TO ANALYZE MY BROTHER. Somebody says your brother And what about me? Your sister, what about me? Your mother, your brother, what about me? Subconsciously, it's like, "Now, where am I in the picture? And how much am I accepted? How much am I not accepted? Is it taken away?" You don't even know your brother. You don't know your sister. You don't know your mother. You don't know your father. Sometimes you don't know your children. It's all cuz you don't know yourself. If I don't know myself, I can't know anybody in the world cuz I'm busy turning everybody into the image I need to turn THEM INTO SO I SHOULD BE ABLE to survive and thrive. And it's called a back-to-back relationship. The challenge is when it's back-to-face, face-to-back, good luck. You have to be very healthy there. FACE-TO-FACE IS LIKE, "WHOA." SO, now when Esau meets Jacob, he's like, "Wow, what an interesting brother I have. So cute." All these Look Look at your family. He's like Esau is like loving it. YOU WOULD THINK ESAU SHOULD GET JEALOUS. LOOK AT THIS GUY. SUCCESS, PROSPERITY. YOU KNOW WHAT JACOB HAD THERE? IN FACT, RIGHT there in the narrative it says by he ish. JACOB IS CALLED THE ISH who was extremely successful. The same ish. HE WAS FIGHTING THAT ISH. THAT'S HOW WE KNOW ISH IS JACOB. ESAU SHOULD GET JEALOUS. HE'S NOT JEALOUS. HE'S LIKE THIS IS BEAUTIFUL. So Jacob tells him not only take my gift. You know what Jacob tells him? Take the blessing. Take the blessing. SUDDENLY IT CHANGES FROM MINCHA TO BRACHA. TAKE THE BLESSING. THE Sforno says take the blessing. At this moment you could take your blessing. That's what happens. Why? Because I saw your face and it looks like God's face. He tells his brother, I saw your face and it looks like God's face. Last night I saw my face and it looked like God's face. Today I saw your face and it looked like God's face. When you could see in your face God's face, you could see in your brother's face God's face. I'll see your face and it looks like God's face. Why is this our name? Because one of the greatest struggles of the Jewish people over thousands of years was this struggle. Identity. Jews for thousands of years have often felt that if we can only be like Esau, Esau will stop hating Jacob. If we could only look like Esau, dress like Esau, feel like Esau, integrate with Esau, marry with Esau, hang out with Esau, drink with Esau, golf with Esau, just just be Esau. Get rid of all the Jewish stuff from the nose to the religion. Everything. Things will be good. And Jews tried it and they tried it and sometimes it seemed successful but it always came back to bite them. That's 2,000 years of history. Why? Because this is the interesting paradox. Asaph knows that Yakov is not Asaph. The more Yakov compares himself to Asaph, the more Asaph feels threatened by Yakov and suspicious about Yakov. If there will ever be a day that Asaph can really hug Yakov, embrace Yakov, cry with Yakov, and love Yakov, it's when Yakov can embrace Yakov, when Yakov could love Yakov, when Yakov could hug Yakov. If there's ever be a day that the world will love Israel, the world will love the Jewish people, it's when the Jewish people can really love the Jewish people. Have a wonderful This class is brought to you by theyeshiva.net. Please help us continue the classes. Make even a small contribution at www.theyeshiva.net/donate.