How You Coronate G-d: Feel Resistance & Choose Trust | Likkutei Torah Yom Tov Shel Rosh Hashanah #3

[music] the yeshiva.net. >> Good morning everybody. Yeah. Yeah. Here it shows the mic. So we're going to continue the what? column 2 on top it says a lot of my for and then [snorts] there's my for there's my for my for then and then yeah so this is nunv column 2 in the English it's 111 page 111 On top it says we're holding B. We finished yesterday the first chapter of the and now we begin the second pic. You see the last two were dedicated to explain the difference of and the higher the lower level the higher level of unity versus the lower level of unity. >> [snorts] >> Yesterday we elaborated on both aspects with many metaphors. It's locked one both aspects with many many metaphors. If you didn't listen yesterday, it's Kadai because it's a very fundamental explanation gives here about the whole reality of and all of the distinctions between them. Yeah. Sometimes when the prepared my he would write which means an abbreviation a synopsis of every chapter just to be able to summarize it in two or three lines. So you see here at the end of chapter one the writes a kitser what was the main point he doesn't get into the details he just wants to give a kitser is just to have a line summary to be able to encompass everything. It's always important when a person finishes a chapter What is he listening to? You think we could trust him? >> Okay. You need a filter? [laughter] >> So, a kiter gives you a synopsis so that in one line you could summarize. It's always important to be able to do that because if not it could just you know be another idea, another idea, another idea, a lot of nice ideas but you don't really capture the summation. So let's see the kitser of chapter one and then we're going to go to pedic bay. Today's [snorts] class is dedicated by mush nachasi with heartfelt prayers for the coming of msiach. Now, thank you Reb and we really really appreciate it and to your blessing and take it from so the he doesn't give an abbreviation of the beginning of the with all the questions about you don't blow but just the explanation the main point here is the difference between which he also called. [snorts] It's similar to the distinction between the termal where the effect the child offspring is mukaf is encompassed and submerged and subsumed in its own in its own source in its womb. And therefore but lie it's completely nullified in its presence. It doesn't occupy any separate space or even space because it's revealed in the context of an infinite reality that it's only a tip of an iceberg inside the source. Right? As we explained at length versus the second model which is yeseshayan. Yeseshan means something from nothing. Here the source is called nothing because if the source was present as a something there would be no yesesh there would be no something. So therefore the source mutes itself and conceals itself inside the so in model number one the is submerged in the in model number two it reverses. It's topsy turvy. The now the the the takes prominence because the becomes muted. The ilah is like subsumed in the alul or at least concealed inside the allowing the allowing the the child the offspring to emerge flex its muscles and gain its independence. And that's basically someone say this is explains this at length one of the hardest and wrote it and you know wrote wrote in the last few days of his life says in a place called right he was running from Napoleon and over there he wrote and literally a few days one of the it's it's long it's elaborate and it's one of the hard it's probably one of the hardest myim to to learn. >> Yeah. >> It's not really different. It's just there's a lot of different there but it's it's fundamentally the same >> fundamentally. Yeah. Yeah. Yesterday's sh we explained it at length. The two different what's the difference of it's two states of consciousness. It's two operating systems of reality and both are authentic. There's an operating system of reality called egul which is like the image of the concentric circles and every sphere the higher sphere ker is the outer circle like the outer ball like the Russian doll and then inside you have is a circle inside which is surrounded by the outer circle. If you look in they have pictures like there's an outer circle there's an inner circle there's an inner circle bina inner circle it's circles within circles like a ball within a ball which is the model of eul which is like the fish in the water each ball is subsumed in the in the circle in the eagle outside of it encompasses it and that's subsumed in the eagle outside of it and that subsumed in the eagle outside of it like said the reaches the highest level the ceiling of its consciousness but then when it's exposed to the lowest level of the it's completely bottle right we explained that versus which is a different operating system of started the whole beard and he said that there's two there's two ways in which consciousness emerges in which worlds evolve in which reality evolves one is in which the is to the and one is yesh which you don't even call because if the all would call told that for Allah he would never be a yesh [laughter] the reason he could be a yesesh is I don't have anah I don't know who my is you claim you're my okay okay we'll go to court you claim you don't claim even if I agree at the end I agree that you're my right in the in the model doesn't have to agree right the photon it's not up to the bait to bring the sun to court to find out if the photon is part of the sun or not part of the sun Yeah, [laughter] >> very good. >> Understand? We don't know. We don't see >> it's a state of consciousness. It's not intellectual. Yeah, we explain it in words as always, but it's not that is an experience and is an experience. It's all about experience. You remember that? Yeah. >> It's an eleno. It's such a popular connection here. >> What's the connection here? Well, that's the that's the that's the main that describes that the is just is is a preparation for so >> you understand what I'm saying? Okay. So now we go to civ base. Yeah. You understood yesterday. So now you know what a quantum field is. >> Okay. To understand this with more explanation that represents it's the which means it's rep is is is the the content of something. It's called a a level is called a theme. It's called so what is malus? Malus represents the concept or the experience ofus comes from the word righte which means elevated like lofty sublimeus comes from the word we have all these different qualities after the wordnas the wordnas Say like the word exaltedness uplifted when you carry something you lift it right you say right a living person carries himself in other words it's uplifted isnasus and must represent exaltedness sublimity and upliftedness >> like ai is called ai which is a leader from the wordnasus [snorts] it says that every iss but the word nosi means isnasus exaltedness because that's what a nasi represents. It's taking responsibility. It's taking leadership and uh and being responsible for a people, for a community, for a nation, for a world, which is what the melik does, right? The garra says in that there were two people that wanted to choose as nim as leaders and they didn't want to come. They were very humble and finally he got them to come and he told them You think I'm turning you into rulers? I'm turning you into slaves. [laughter] Don't worry about it. It's going to work with your humility very well. [laughter] Right. >> Huh? >> Yeah. Yeah. Don't worry about it. It's notus doesn't meanosus and now you get to manipulate everybody and exploit everybody. Hisnas is responsibility. It's it's the role of responsibility. Right. Okay, that's important. We'll soon see why it's so important. But the here is that now why is he explaining here what is so we have to remember the context at the end of said that there's the two models of iss in even though you have all the spheres there you have all the personality traits you have but we said but in it's there's nothing outside of him. How could that be? The answer is because if you speak to even though they come from one another, they're all submerged in the source. So it's there's no there's no uh separateness at all. And that's why it's called Yeah. the ego there's no separateness. So everything is there but it's like the metaphors we gave the fish inside the sea the child inside the womb the letters inside the idea inside idea not separate so it's completely subsumed in the presence of the infinite source so what is its entire reality it entire reality is nothing but a derivative of the larger reality and it's not experiences anything separate even though it exists like the photon inside the sun the ray of light inside by the solar core. Once it ex exits and it's emitted quite a muk, it's quite a yesh quite powerful. It illuminates the whole the whole world. It's responsible for life. It's not a small thing. But take it back to the source. It's also there. Not not only is there stronger it's much more powerful. The nuclear reaction is much more powerful. But writes that this light inside the sun is is endlessly more powerful than the light outside of the sun. And yet paradoxically you can't say it exists because BL doesn't make you less powerful. It makes you more powerful because you're aligned with your source. So you're actually melik melik the servant of a king is the king. So be not being a servant of the king being your own man. You're never a king. You're just your own little guy big guy little guy. When you become mel the gar says you are the mel you're an extension like you become the so you become in other words by surrendering your separateness you don't lose yourself you lose the separate self to gain the ultimate self right that's the whole idea of we always talk about so in he says is that's where the is completely encompassing the that's why he and the spherus are one. What do you mean they're one? Because the spheres are inside the womb. That's so when Mosha walked in the world and spoke to parba says is speaking to that's the alterba is not like I said yesterday it's not it's a far away world it's a dimension it's a way of operating in this world and that's who comes from the water because he remains in the water even when he's walking on dry land that's why his name is Mosha and that's why he told Hashem I can't speak I'm not a man of words because when the is subsumed in the last thing it does is say anything. It's muted not because it's crushed but because no words could capture the truth of the experience. But then the aloo moves away. Where does that happen? He says malus of is where the divine light emerges as bria and then here there's worlds that have a yesesh. What does it mean a yesesh? They have an existence that you could define spiritually or like in this world physically with dimensions. And as Alba put it in in in in in extremely clear words that there is a yesh which has finitness and the language of infinity is now muted in order to allow for the yesesh. Where is this coming from? Malus of Atsilus, so to speak, is the last the 10th sphere of Atsilus. Malus is the the final sphere of Atilus. >> It's the ground that's on the bottom. Yeah. On the top you have, you have you have and then if you don't count Kesser, you count Das. If you count Das, you don't count Kesser. But those are the 10 spheres. So inulim they're all inside of each other, including Malus. It's a circle inside of inside of hid inside of inside of teris all the way up inside of and remember each alul is muk by the that's what are but in the model changes the model flips and that starts in malus of here it's not anymore here starts the process of and what does it mean it starts the process of says that the malus does not communicate with because then all the universes would remain a served it would remain Infinity there's anab meaning they don't recognize the language of what is it? It's you could talk about it you can speculate but experientially the yesesh doesn't experience the ayen because if he would that would be the end of the yesesh. So this begins in malus and still there is b over there and that's so now the alb explains what's the connection to malus why malus so this is what he starts explaining that the idea of malus is an exaltedness a mel is a king a leader like aus because exaltedness is so in this state of isnasus the light is moved it's lofty it's sublime it's elevated and the universes which come from are they receive just from the that's the deeper meaning of the malus literally it means your malus extends in all the worlds you have a king who's a king over Denmark or a king over Sweden or a king over England, over the United Kingdom, United Kingdom. But it's one country, United States of America, Canada, Antarctica. Yeah. Australia and all the worlds, spiritual, physical, that's literally huh from close PLANETS TO FAR PLANETS. ALL THE WORLDS is your deeper means that it's your that allows for it's your that allows there to be that's what's responsible for all the worlds including from the word which means concealment for all the concealments. What this means is that mal of which is the lowest level of becomes the crown for Bria. The lowest of Atsilus becomes the highest of Bria. Meaning the end of Atsilus becomes the source, the progenitor, the mother, the crown is is of everything is but something happens in Malus. We're going to see why Malus, right? Of course, it's all metaphorically. We don't mean like Malus has a label and says, "Okay, I'm leaving. I'm going to Bri." It's the consciousness that can tap into is something that is called Malus. You have to always understand that it's not Malus, okay, I'm leaving. Bye-bye. I'm going to the first floor. I'm going into the abyss. See you in 6,000 years. Good luck, Malus. Good luck. And don't tell anybody you're related to us because it's going to get very messy. Maybe this is actually not such an exaggeration. >> Superposition. >> Superposition. Yeah. >> So it can be in one state or another. >> Yeah. Superposition. Exactly. And by the way, that's why it always says the word says don't attach it to a certain dimension. Not that malus is going versus God is somewhere else. God is like I'm in Hawaii. You take care of it because I'm dumb. It means that what our world is capable of experiencing in its highest form of consciousness is what kabala and will call the quality of malus >> from their perspective from their experience right remains even in it's not the is in the even if the decided it was born the fish is in the sea that's why I gave a mush yesterday and that's a very good metaphor of in you know science physics of recent years is all coming to Hashem and one of the most impressive fascinating ideas is the idea of quantum fields right when you're looking at a table there's different layers you see a table if you use a microscope there's molecules that the table is made up of each molecule is a combination of atoms but each atom is made up of subatomic particles it's layered deeper deeper all the layers are true but it's from a different perspective a different experience and suddenly the same reality is a whole different reality and it's all right here. So it's a very very elegant mush for different worlds for different states of consciousness and in each of us there's all these layers. There's inside of me and inside of me and bri inside of me and inside of me it's all there. That's what we say in the morning says in a few places in other places is yours consciousness is your consciousness is your consciousness is you blew it into me okay here we are here I am with everything that's going on here and you got to protect it and then and then it's going to go back and then it's going to come back this way. So what do we say? So says what's the like I was born I'm going to die. I'm going to come back. So let me thank you. [laughter] I did I don't need your honey. I don't need your stink. So he says since you are infinite oneness and you're going back to infinite oneness. So why should you allow that your journey in this world should be a rupture from infinite oneness since you come from radical love. You're going back to radical love. So now choose radical love. What do you have to stay hydrated? So that's what he says in you're going back to complete oneness. So he says already now I'm going to go into alignment. But here I have to choose it. Here I have to choose it because it's not a world of anymore. So all when we so when we talk about many you have is what's responsible for is what's creates what it means you have to understand a little more abstract not in literal terms that malus is separated like you said a superp position what it means is that the consciousness that our world is capable of experiencing if you want to describe what it is it would be as though the concept of malus in elkus Right? So in mal malus is not detached. It's all one. But that's what I'm getting from it. Right? Just like my eyes can't pick up the atoms in this table. I can't not because I don't want to. I don't have the kale. I don't have the vessels for it. So when I'm looking at a table, this is I'm going to describe it with properties. One of the properties is not going to be quantum fields or atomic particles. I just can't. I need different vessels for that. a different vocabulary. It's a different vocabulary. It's a different conceptual way of looking at things. So the way they describe it in physics is that everything everything is a quantum field. Everything on the core of it is quantum fields. What does that mean? It means as follows. Imagine I'm just a simple metaphor that I saw. Imagine there is you're in the midst of an invisible ocean. Just imagine for a moment an invisible ocean everywhere. We are all in the midst of an invis but it's invisible. It's invisible and it needs to be invisible because if the ocean was visible and tangible we wouldn't be able to be. So it's an invisible ocean literally. Suddenly suddenly with your eyes you're in this ocean which you don't see. And suddenly you see a a ripple. You see a a wave an elevated water and everybody looks oh look at that ripple. Look at that. And it takes your attention. It captures your attention. Right? It's called a gal. It's it's a ripple. But really, if you saw all of reality, what is it? There's an ocean. And this is just something of the ocean. Literally like a ripple. You throw a rock into the water and a little water, you know, balances out or jumps out that emerges and suddenly we see that and all we see is that ripple. But that ripple is not separate from the ocean. It's just the experience of the ocean that we can somehow grasp or tune into because we can't experience the invisible ocean. In many ways it's a martial arts is like the quantum field and if you see that reality it's all oneness but malus of creates that ripple that emerges and it allows reality to become a tangible definition and suddenly you define it based on that ripple and all of its effects and manifestations. What's the connection to malus? What do we mean? This is the consciousness of that. So he says because therefore the energy of all the worlds shifts from becomes something from nothing. give the universes comes down. That's what is connection. So the universes would emerge in a place of as which means closeness, intimacy. So it would be like something emerging from something not from nothing. It could have never emerged as a yesesh gum or as a true independent being an existence that has a yesesh because it would right away recognize its source and therefore would have to experience b. So it would be like the concept of yesesh which means it's a comes from another yesesh and your entire being comes from that yesesh. And how much yesh when you experientially feel that your entire yeseshas was actually born from another yesesh which is completely beyond you. No, they're not called Yesh for Bri. No, he's saying if Bri would emerge from the higher midas, the the closest model you can get is Yesesh. Yesh, which means I'm something. But what is my something? My something is a is a continuum from a higher yes, which means I'm never a real yesh. >> Yeah. Yeah. Don't get stuck here in the word yesesh. The point is yesesh yesesh means it's not yesh means the yesesh runs the show everybody else is as far as I'm concerned you don't exist you may be everything but as far as I'm concerned exactly if it would perceive all IT COULD SAY IS MAYBE I'M A LITTLE YESH BUT I KNOW WHERE I COME from if I would stay in the womb of my mother right I wouldn't really make too many decisions what to eat for breakfast sorry mommy's going to decide what are we eating for lunch when are we going to sleep are we going to be regulated. Mommy's going to decide. Now, some of us still remain that way, right? Mommy is still deciding if we should be regulated, what we should eat, if we should be normal, if we should be happy. We're still mommy is deciding that because we never uh, you know, cut the umbilical cord. It's called mother contract. [laughter] Mother contract, father contracts. These are big contracts, deep contracts. Malus cuts the umbilical cord. Yes. Mean, where are you? Where are you? Tati is gone. Mommy's gone. And now you have to understand the the trauma of that too. That's the that's the trauma of yesesh. That's the anxiety of yesesh. >> Think we're disconnected. >> Exactly. You think you're disconnected. Suddenly you were inside of something and suddenly you're like thrown [snorts] off the cliff and like where are you? Could you at least show I'm in. I am in. Yeshu has that dependency has that continuum. Has that safety. Yesh doesn't have that safety anymore because in the world of the yesesh everything else is ion. The source is ion.in means no nothing no thing. Now the truth is why it's called ion is only for me to be a yesesh. The reason is ion is for me to be a yesesh. That's the whole reason. In other words the ion is more present than I think because the whole reason it's for me to be a yesesh. Right? It's a g not not a game but it's like a game in the sense that it's not that the ion is not here. It's all an opportunity for me to be who I'm supposed to be. But from but for the yesesh to be that yesesh it can it only experiences it as I am. So that that's not so that's not a simple moment. That's why malus when you say malus of is responsible for this. That's the because if it'll be the higher mid it would all be kir. If was going into bria if the consciousness of bria was gleaning from that was its mother it would never become a yesesh. It would always remain some form of iron at least. Yes. Yes. Huh? >> Yeah. Yeah. That's what he's saying. See, [snorts] you see what was doing in Kabala? You have these words malus. But in that whatever is doing, he's trying to give you the whole picture of why Kabala uses these words that everything is malus. So now he's giving he's g he's he's giving the essence of it because it's from malus not from the midas and again what do we mean not from the midas if it's all one you can't be from and not from it's all one but again it means from the experience of I describe what I'm experiencing is put a name on that and it's called you're describing >> you ent. >> Exactly. I don't I don't see what's beyond the physical table. I don't >> Yeah. What lends itself to my reality is the yesesh of the table, not the ion of the table. has an expression in if the eye had permission to see it would look at the universe and it wouldn't see physicality it would see he's not describing an abstract reality he's describing what physics is going to get to [laughter] physical reality >> the most deep physical reality he's not describing oh I'm a holy soul so I see things that nobody sees no he says if your eye would have permission to see that's You just don't have permission. Nobody has permission to see. It defeats the purpose. But if you had permission to see, I'm just telling you the reality. Why is he saying it if we don't have permission to see? [laughter] Because this is it. This is what you're going to have to make peace with. This is what you want to make peace with. This is the healing of the yesesh. The healing of the yesesh is understanding that is a stepping stone. It's not the ultimate reality. We'll see. We'll see in a moment that ayen is a stepping stone. It's it's it's it's part of the purpose. Don't get lost in the reality that everything is ion besides the yesesh. We'll see. So he says like this here is the key is not hisus and [snorts] is love and attachment. Soilus is is is fueling. You're experiencing attachment. You're experiencing closeness. The same is true with all the other midas. But there's one exception. Malus. What's malus?nasus. And here he puts in a new word. His talcus. Hisnas is exaltedness, sublimity, aloofness. That's malus. Leadership. means there's an element of sublimity like from the word nostalic departs it's exalted it's above so when the is filtered through it becomes becomes restricted so now they can emerge as finite beings and really believe that they're finite even though they're truly infinite beings that Allah is inside the you're You're you're you're an extension of the divine field of the divine field of energy which is a but suddenly I'm giving everything dimensions including myself. What is that? That's malus because as the energy comes from malus it's a type of energy that is communicated with a sense of aloofness with a sense of sublimity. So the one being created by the consciousness of malus what does that mean practically? You feel yourself because malus is talus. So by definition it creates distance and it necessitates for you to be you. If not there can't be the concept of malus ever being disconnected. But the consciousness of the recipient is disconnection. He he he the separation the umbilical cord was cut. If not there's no melik. You're just you're just in the womb. You're just part of oneness. >> You're still part of oneness. >> But malus creates the consciousness of independence and all the way down to ego or insecurity. It's the concept of a yes. I'm not af that would never happen. [laughter] Of course you're a you're nothing but a anything else is is a death sentence in Yash's life. Anything else is a death sentence. They call it an ego death, right? Ego death is death. Real ego death is death. [laughter] >> So what is Alreb is saying here? Yeah, it's it's an abstract idea. We have to understand it very well as much as we can at least. And that is all the other mid if you take for example the they don't require essentially the relationship with another. A good example for this would be marriage which is often described in cababala as malus. Malus is the woman. What does that mean? Because I could do a lot of things on my own. I could sit in a room and be a poet. I could sit on top of a mountain and love the universe. People do it all the time. In fact, your poetry will be usually much more eloquent if you stay away from people. [laughter] I could be a philosopher. I could be a mystic. I can be a sage. Yeah, I can try to be a holy person. And I can experience all of the emotions, right? But now if somebody tells me I'm married and I say to who? And he says myself. Somehow that doesn't work. Why not? [laughter] Why not? We have a split personality. What's the problem? Yeah. I think Jackie Mason Oliver Shalom whose name was Maza once said, "What's the definition of?" You come to the therapist, you have a split personality and you want a group discount, right? Classic. Yeah, classic. So, so why can't I get married to myself and get a tax discount? I have enough problems inside of myself. So, it's true. You should try to get married to yourself. It's a good idea. your nama or your goof. But essentially, there's certain experiences in life if it's not another person I can't experience. I can't be on a type of a mountain. I could do a lot of amazing things. I can be noble and and at least generous in my heart and be filled with love. When you come down from the mountain, it's a little harder. But on top of the mountain, you could be filled with love. But marriage requires the relationship. It's the friction. It's the friction of one person with another person. You say, "No, I'm going to be married in myself." You could do amazing things in yourself, but here you actually need the feedback of someone who's not you. You understand? You can't have it any other way. And the experience of marriage is that experience is that encounter with someone else. Which is why it's hard [laughter] in very simple terms. As long as I'm living in myself, it can also be hard. But it's even hard on my own terms. It's hard on my terms. Here in marriage, it's not hard on my terms. It's hard on somebody else's terms. You're it's a constant negotiation with otherness. And some people cannot do it. I don't have to tell you. This is not a simple thing to live with another person. It's it's it's tolerance. It's respect. It's boundaries. It's we're connected, but we're not connected. It's we're one, but we're not one. It's not simple. No, no, no. It's two halves of one. But it's completely two not universes and not only planets but completely two different realities sometimes negotiating that but you cannot do this on your own. There's certain things I can't do on my own. I could be an author do things on my own. I could do all these things but this is a relationship. It requires a relationship. This is an example malus as well. What do we say? The kind of malus is I'm taking responsibility. It's leadership. I can't be a melik in my own room on top of a mountain. I can't. The experience of malus is the experience of it's a relational it's a relational experience. That's its very identity. I'm a leader. I'm a king and there's a people. There are people here. If there's no people, what's the melik? Where's the melik? Yeah, it requires otherness. There are other people. If the melik is just one, like it says you can't be a melik in your own family. You could try but it doesn't work. I can't be a malik my own body. What does it mean? Why? It's me. It's oneness. In the world of there's no malus. There's no separateness. Everything is one. It's all where's the malus? Hashem wanted malus. What does that mean? It's words, but what does that really mean? So what is revealing here is the secret of secrets. And that is what malus really means. When Kab says, what are we really saying? In simple English, we're really saying is God really wanted otherness or in say he wanted a yesesh. And the only way there could be a yesesh is if he becomes. So the mel is the one who becomes which is what a real meal is. He becomes a servant. Gaml said, "Don't worry, you're becoming servants. You're not becoming leaders." is the one person called Hashem. I understand simple peasants who don't know anything there. Yeah, they're just employees. Tell them what to do. Mosha Mosha knew the backend code of everything. [laughter] He's the one. He's the nobody else is ascribed that way. Because here is the paradox. The paradox is malus is the stepping stone for you choosing a relationship in Igul. You never choose a relationship. You never choose trust. The fish is in the ocean organically and naturally. It doesn't even want to be visible. Visibility is a death sentence. Malus doesn't only demand visibility. It can't function without visibility without you being visible. So you're an independent person. You're completely independent. You have your own yeseshas and yeseshas comes with all the anxiety of figuring out who I am. And then one thing happens and that is that here you can choose to lean in to surrender and trust. Now let's understand the difference of the metaphor and the experience in truth. In the metaphor the melik is just a person like everybody else. In the in the niml malus creates you. So here we don't get stuck here. Well, now uses Mal. This is where we get stuck in metaphors. The melik doesn't create the people. And if he thinks he does, you should try to get rid of him fast because he's going to be a dangerous guy. It's called Stalin. Malus. The melik is a melik. Now you have dictators and you have kings who are chosen. But what's the metaphor? The metaphor is we say real malus is not dictatorship. Malus says the people are choosing to choose you as their leader. That means they didn't have to choose. Back to marriage. If you force a woman to marry a man, it's not called kadush. You cannot. It has to be mid. The garra says that's why why the answer is why the answer is the parents think it's a good what? Let it let it which force it. The answer is not only because it's not nice and it doesn't work with democracy. It's much deeper than that cuz it's not a marriage. Cuz what I didn't choose, what you chose for me is your choice, not my choice. The definition of a relationship means that it's coming from me something. So it's not the part of me that's separate. The part of me that's separate is ACTUALLY DEFIANT. CHOICE MEANS what people don't realize what choices they No. Choice mean you the ability to connect the part that's separate. You understand? That's the key. That only happens with choice. If there's no choice, the part of you that's separate never connects. The part of you that's separate actually is I'm not interested. I hate this relationship. I'm out of this. Choice means that I go to the part that's separate and I say, "Do you want to be separate or do you want to connect?" Right? You understand? That's what it means. That's why it's sacred. That's why it's so important because that's where connection happens in the place of separateness. Now in the metaphor the melik doesn't create the people but now go to the nim all of comes from. So the consciousness this is where you have to understand the consciousness of our world the very the chemistry from which we're created is the energy of malus. It's not like in the metaphor, the melik is a guy. He's a good guy. And we're choosing him to be a melik. Beautiful. There it stops the metaphor. It's very limited. Here, YOUR ENTIRE EXISTENCE emerges from Malus. >> Yeah. It starts with Malus. It doesn't start with me making you a Malik. It starts with Malus. Malus is the mother. Mal. WE'RE CREATED FOR MALUS. SO, IF you want to UNDERSTAND WHO YOU ARE, YOU HAVE TO STUDY Malus because that's the DNA that makes you up. That's the V. You have to if you want to study yourself, if you want to SEE WHAT YOU'RE MADE UP OF, you're made up of the stuff of malus. So that's what you have to study. So what is malus? So says malus is where the melik knows that there is a distinction between him and you. He's not just mingling in the crowd, invisible. The melik is a melik. He's taking responsibility. There's distance. There's aloofness. There's sublimity. You're a melik, right? The worst thing for a father in a house or a mother in a house is say I'm just one of the children or a teacher say I'm just one of the classrooms. No, no, no. A leader takes responsibility. No. I am a leader. I'm taking responsibility. This is not arrogance. This is knowing what Malus says. The buck stops here. This is my responsibility. It's a responsibility. It's not a license for abuse. It's a responsibility. Now, okay. So, if Hashem wants to be my mel and that desire to be my melik is creating me. So who is Jacobson? Now understand this. We don't think of it that way because we think of ourselves as a yesesh. But let go of the yesesh for a moment. If Hashem wants to be a mel my mel and that dream of god is creating me. So what's the product that he gets? The product that he gets is somebody who has yeseshas. Somebody who's separate from God. Somebody who says okay I exist and let me figure this guy out. [laughter] So that's what we're trying to do. trying to the reason we're trying to figure ourselves out is because malus is responsible and malus necessitates otherness. Malus necessitates independence. Malus means there's you versus me. Malus is sublime. It's aloof. His talus is that means what's COMING OUT OF MALUS. THE PRODUCT IS COMING THROUGH because if the melik was infinitely manifested and present, there would be no nobody outside. So there's no meal. You can't be a meal. It's like marrying yourself. Thank you God. You want to get married to yourself gaze. You want to get married to me, I have to have some flesh. >> This is the timum. That's why he says malus is what creates. So when kabala says the world comes from malus, it doesn't mean malus and not hashem and not atmos. It means the consciousness that we experience is basically if you want to identify what is that consciousness that is the of that he wants otherness. He doesn't want otherness. He wants to be revealed. There's no otherness. IT'S IT'S AN EXPRESSION. THERE'S a leap. There's a break. You cut the cord. Yes. Paradoxically, the melik becomes the ion for you to emerge. And now, so well now what? So there's no relationship. No. Now you get to choose. But which part of you chooses the separateness? The iron in you doesn't have to choose connection. The iron in you never left. So which part of you, which part of you accepts his malus? The part of you that's not his malus. And that's the purpose of existence. The purpose of existence is in those spaces where I am lonely, where I am separate, where I am insecure, where I am wounded, where I where I am traumatized from the cut of the umbilical cord. over there. I say actually we're one and I'm choosing it. >> Huh? >> And that's where he wanted the relationship. The parts that we're most embarrassed of, the parts that we're running away from, the parts, can you just get rid of all of this, the anxiety which is COMING FROM THE TRAUMA OF SEPARATENESS? That's exactly that's exactly where that's exactly where you come into the picture. And that's exactly what I wanted to connect with. So what you're most frustrated about yourself and embarrassed, that's the arena in which the purpose of creation is materialized. And that could only happen by a separation or at least a perceived separation. And that's what we mean by malus of changing the paradigm from to because that's what Malus is. Don't be embarrassed of your embarrassment. In other words, Mal says, "I'm choosing you, Hashem. I'm choosing you. I'm trusting. I'm choosing to trust you because I can also choose not to trust you." Don't forget that. I could choose. It's a choice. Back to marriage. I'm choosing to go into marriage because I can also choose not to. I said this at there's a couple I know very difficult marriage very challenging wonderful people and there was one day that the husband told the wife after all the pain that I'm causing you and you're causing me maybe it's just time to get divorced. And those words were uttered and it saved their marriage. It saved their marriage. I know those words don't always save every marriage. I know that. I'm not trying to say go home and and sit down and tell your wife let's have breakfast together and then you'll not quote me, right? Blame it on me. So that's not my suggestion here. But you understand what happened. They actually realize that they have an option not to be together. And then they had to ask a question. So why should we be together? If we never had an option not to be together, it's not a question. We're stuck. [laughter] Siamese twins. Adam and Kava were created as Siamese twins. You're stuck. But now that you're not stuck, it's actually an option on the table. So now they had to go deeper into themselves. >> They saw their otherness. >> They saw their otherness. So now they can choose connection from that space. This is not an easy moment because it's a moment when everything is in danger because when you see yourself you can also run to China but sometimes sometimes not always it's that moment that is so necessary to decouple you to separate you so that actually afterwards your marriage is a choice and that's what Malik says that's the same with Hashem [snorts] and that's the key of religion that's the key of yadishkite malus is the key of yishkite. Free choice is not just an impediment to our system. [laughter] The kids have free choice today. They're leaving yishkite. Free choice is the arena in which the relationship is happening. And that's what we're all scared of, right? We're scared of that. But God is not. So you don't have to be. That's the what he said in the first year. The word comes from the word which means trust is faithfulness. Trust doesn't only mean he believed in the world. He trusted his world. Why? The answer is because I know your DNA. You're good. I know your DNA. I'm fine. >> You wrote it. >> I wrote your DNA. It's fine. Your separateness is part of the game. I get it, but I know it. You'll remove a couple of blockages, another layer, another layer, another layer. You'll get rid of your and we're gonna have a good marriage. It's gonna be fine. And even when you're running away and you're separating, yeah once said, yeah, when a Jew sins, he's basically forging a new path to God off the beaten track. Or there's a poem, one of the old Jewish poets, he said, "I'm running away from you to you." >> Really? I'm not running to you. I'm running away from you. You're running away from me, and I'm telling you, you're just going to go the other way. [laughter] >> Huh? >> Eagle. >> Eagle. Yeah. Eagle. >> Yeah. Yeah. There's a Jew I know in Israel. So he told me that his daughter left Yiddish and his father was a student of Mosha Shapiro [snorts] and he was going into Mosha. So his father asked him to to you know express what happened to his daughter and how how difficult it is. So he went into him and he speaking about his sister and it was a complicated situation. She said that Mosha said, you know, there's a circle. Life is a circle and you're on top of the circle, right? And there's a way to go. There's a direction. And then some kids go in the opposite direction. And the parents freak out. There's a circle. You're supposed to be going everybody's going clockwise. WHY ARE YOU GOING COUNTERCLOCKWISE? ALL THE CLOCKS ARE GOING THIS WAY. RIGHT? The whole myy, the whole Lakewood, the whole Tom's River, the whole Mayarm, the whole beneic, everybody's going this way. AND SUDDENLY YOU DECIDE aut mistake. Don't they realize as they're going the other direction they just started to go back to the same place from a different direction. Right? What what does that really mean? What that really means is that deep deep down there's connection. But malus is the connection that comes from within. In other words, you have to choose it. And the reason you have to choose it is because you're separate. So remember the key idea that malus creates us, which means the consciousness that we live with is a product of malus. And what does that mean? It's a product of Hashem's desire that there should be him and me. That's the So now you say malus creates. It doesn't mean malus creates and not BEING HASHEM CREATES NOT malus malus it's not it's hem it's a it's it's a code word to describe what's the type of universe that hashem created it's a type of universe that will give the name an expression of what we would call malus what does that mean that the are not experienced the all is not in the in its own consciousness The quantum field of divinity is invisible. It's ion. And this poor ripple that came out of the quantum field is like all alone. It doesn't know about the ocean. Imagine a wave. I told the women in the women's class, we spoke an important class about anxiety of rishana. So I said, you know, imagine this wave comes out of the ocean. It's elevated. But imagine the wave wouldn't know that there's an ocean carrying it. Do you understand the anxiety? Imagine you're that wave, right? And you have your 20 seconds of fame. You come up and the kids are excited and you come crashing almost. You're about to crash, but now you're like up there. You're more you're greater than the whole ocean. The whole Atlantic Ocean is bottled to you cuz you're above. Now, thank God the wave never makes that mistake. The wave knows I come from the ocean. I'm going back from the ocean. It's just 10 seconds of fame. It's just a form. I just took on a form for a couple of seconds. But imagine it was Yeshin, right? The wave actually fell detached from the ocean. Do you understand the crisis? Who am I? I USED TO BE THE OCEAN. WHO AM I TODAY? I'm a wave. What's a I don't know. Let's figure it out. Let's go to therapy and figure it out. So now the wave decides it's intelligent and brilliant and handsome and muscular and successful and rich. And the more successful the wave is, the more it lives in cuckoo delusional land that it's separate. Okay, if the wave would have a miserable life, it would be wouldn't be so bad because it would never attribute significance and existence to that which doesn't exist. But because of its success and the whole world is taking pictures of it, the poor wave really thinks that he's separate. So, of course, he's living with anxiety. He just needs validation endlessly. YOU'RE A WAVE. YOU'RE A WAVE. YOU'RE MIGHTY. YOU'RE AMAZING. THAT'S WHAT validation seeking looks like. That's the world of ego. It's the world of ultimate insecurity. And what's the ticken for the wave? The tick for the wave is just crash. You're just part of the ocean. You're fine. So why was I a wave? It's a form that the ocean took on. But imagine the wave experience that that that severance of the relationship. It doesn't feel the bedrock of the ocean. That's Yesh. And that's the trauma of the existence of Yesh knowing the ion. It's not knowing that it's being held, not having that security. So what would be the purpose of that? Only one thing. I get to choose it. I get to choose trust. I get to choose marriage. What does that mean? Feel the resistance. So here the is transforming everything. We often see resistance as the evil, as the negative, as the clipper. Fight it. Fight it. And here he's saying, "No, this is it. It's your resistance which is allowing you to choose something." In eulum, there's no resistance. There's no outside of the photon is not choosing a relationship with the sun. Inside the sun, the fish got to be crazy to leave the water. There's no resistance to leave the water. The resistance is the resistance is on the contrary we take it out of the water. But in mal suddenly no I'm a yesesh and yesh resists. I don't want to surrender. And then when I choose the surrender when I lean into trust I'm choosing the relationship. It's the place of resistance. It's holding the resistance and saying I know who you really are. I'm bringing it back to source. That moment is the transformation of the yesesh. blame and more blame. You numb yourself or you blame yourself. One of the two, it's all the same thing. But here it's actually no, this is where my yesesh is not elus. It's actually me. It's the opportunity where I can choose where I could look at the blondness and the heaviness and the depression or the anxiety and the stress and I can actually redeem it. I can hold it and choose to trust with it. Choose to bring it back. choose to say, "No, I'm not a mess. No, I'm not alone. No, I'm not hopeless. No, it's not all dire and doom." And it's like arguing with me. Of course, it is. [laughter] That's its job. That's what Mal says. You're on your own. And this is where I have to choose. And it's a very silent, very silent, subtle. You can't do this with pressure and coercion. Because if you knock this out, if you knock this part out of yourself, you just denied Malus. And that's not nice. Malik has worked very hard to bring you here. That's not nice. So what does it mean to make Hashem my melik? I have to be separate from Hashem. This is what we have to realize. You can't make him your Melik if you're not separate. And you can't be separate if you're just without an ego without without without anxiety. [laughter] >> Yeah. >> Yeah. If it's just ble if I'm just in a perpetual state of b without anything else that is what is. Hashem is never a melik. He's one. He's everything. But a melik is not. A melik is not. A melik means I am not you and I'm choosing like a real or realmed with ab. I'm not I'm choosing I'm choosing I'm choosing right. I'm choosing to surrender. I'm choosing to trust like a real marriage. I'm choosing this relationship. Of course, I could choose other things. Yeah, I know that. >> Huh? >> In spite of not being the same. And because I'm not the same, I COULD CHOOSE YOU. IF I WAS YOU, I CAN'T CHOOSE YOU. I can't get married to me. I have no choice whether I'm going to be with me or not. [laughter] You have no choice. YOU'RE GOING TO BE MARRIED TO YOURSELF BECAUSE THAT'S REALITY. The quality of malus is I'm not you. I'm not attached. All the other midas would create, not the energy of malus creates. There's me and there's you. We often see malos as I'm controlling. I own you. Changes it. That's not malos. Malos says I want you. That means I can't be you. And that means I have to tolerate separateness. I have to respect the otherness, the boundaries. And what's the greatest respect of your boundaries? That I will go into a place of ayen. I won't even exist. That's a pretty big ms just to allow for this relationship says in Hashem renounced his infinity completely to allow for otherness which is a form of spiritual suicide for God to say I'm not infinite what does that mean he's really saying I don't exist >> his own identity >> you're denying your own identity why says in something fascinating The Gabbor says about Mitsyia, you know how he takes a gamar. The Gomorrah says about Mitsia that there were certain am very um they were very big stomachs. So the Gmorra asks it's an interesting question. How did they how did they have intimacy? That's what they couldn't. Answers love shrinks the flesh. Love shrinks the flesh so they could have intimacy. You can look it up. It's a huge sug very graphic. >> Huh? >> Yeah. Yeah. The best diet in the world is love. It's true. By the way, >> love of yourself and love of the other. There's no diet. All the diets in the world don't come to a diet that comes from self- loveve and respect. Because then every piece of food you take in, it's a different experience when you respect yourself and you like yourself. It's just an expensive diet. [laughter] >> Exactly. So says in So you look at the gamar. It's a little funny that this is what the gar spends a lot of time with. Whose business is it? >> They didn't love themselves. >> Huh? No. No. They it says it says that that was very fat. And they asked him was he didn't eat a lot. He said that's what he said. The bliss the bliss of it satiated him. But I want to say something else in you know people could read the line and they don't realize what is doing says the whole is a metaphor. It's a metaphor forum. Gives no room for anybody. You can't have intimacy. There's no you. He says the love of Hashem shrink his into finitness so that there could be a relationship. What is intimacy? Intimacy is I could lean into trusting another and be vulnerable to being hurt. That's what intimacy is. Intimacy. Intimacy that is not vulnerable is not intimate. Which is why intimacy is a very deep experience and it's not an easy one because we want intimacy but I'm not going to be vulnerable. That's not intimacy. Intimacy is vulnerable. Just like physically it's without clothes. Emotionally it's without clothes. Now physically people know how to take off their clothes but emotionally that's hard. What does it mean to take off your clothes? It means you're vulnerable. You're completely authentic and naked. Emotionally speaking, right? The Gmorrah says in in a husband and a wife make a deal. We're going to remain in our garments. It's not a marriage. You can demand for them to give her a payuv. So says it's the same with Hashem. People who come to Hashem and say I'm remaining in my garments or God says it's not a marriage. You need to take off. You need to be vulnerable. That is a relationship. But vulnerability is dangerous. So it's the love that shrinks the flesh of the that's the whole that is describing in it's called and in it's described as what he says in that's [snorts] the of what creates is the So does a >> of course he's the one who renounces himself more than me [laughter] to renounce my yesesh is hard but to renounce a that's a biggie >> right >> yeah yeah yeah when I I stand corrected when I said have to I didn't mean Hashem has to it means that once we're looking at ourselves if we want To understand what's going on, you need to understand, that's what I mean. You want to understand and therefore you need to understand the dynamics of what is this chemistry that I'm made up of. Because without knowing the chemistry, the stuff that my body and soul and consciousness and cells and neurons are made up of, how do I ever know who I am? How do I ever touch myself? How do I ever have any peace of mind? So much of the world has been trying for thousands of years to sanctify the yesesh right build yourself up success validation whatever that looks like physical success spiritual success financial success emotional success right today's world especially individuality you know get your life together like build up that yesesh so to speak detach the wave from the ocean because we don't see the ocean so this is just a wave and and and invest it self-confident and be confident about yourself. But we see it doesn't work. Why? Because it's because the bedrock of that self-confidence is a lie. Of course, you don't. Nobody has self-confidence. It's a lie. It's the biggest lie in the world. How could you have self-confidence when deep deep deep down the yesesh knows that the only reason it exists is because reality is eclipsed? This is this is what you have to understand. How much self-confidence self-confidence can you have when deep deep down in your DNA you know the truth that the entire reason you exist is because truth is concealed. So how confident can you be about that? My whole existence is based on a lie. So how much confidence? I'll go to therapy for 900,000 years. Good luck. You got to believe in yourself. You know those speeches. Believe in yourself. Believe in yourself. Beautiful. I also like that. Okay. We talk about believing. What does it really mean? [laughter] Deep down the yash knows the truth that the only reason I'm here is because the elo went into moment we see THAT MAD SAID HOW MUCH CONFIDENCE CAN I HAVE WHEN THE WHOLE THING IS A LIE AND I KNOW IT. I DON'T SAY I KNOW IT BUT of course I know it exactly. So the whole thing is I'm building an illegal STRUCTURE THAT I KNOW IS NOT TRUE AND I'M INVESTED IN THE WORLD NOT FIGURING IT OUT. THAT'S ALL I'M DOING. That's what all ego is. That's what all insecurities is. That's what all attention seeking is. It's all that it is. And I'm doing IT EVEN TO MYSELF cuz I'm not allowed to know the truth because if I know the truth, I can't breathe. So I'm busy telling it to myself also that I'm really legal. Do you understand what that does to people's brains? And without you can't liberate that. You can't liberate yourself from that unless you have some heavenly gift which is what? You can't liberate yourself from that. The beginning of that liberation is to say of course [laughter] of course that's that's a very vulnerable moment and that's that's mal and realizing that that was by design and it gives me the gift of choosing surrender choosing to surrender all of this saying of course I want to go back to ayen who doesn't want to go back to and that's when the yesesh can actually be at peace That's why never ever has there been a moment of bliss within the framework of ego. Never. You could look this up. Look, study 5,786 years of history. Study the greatest tyrants and emperors, most powerful people in the world. This is what frustrated them. This is why the Egyptian pharaohs mum had themselves mummified. They were desperate to defy death. How do you defy death? Turn me into a mummy so I'll be eternal. Build calise and gymnasiums and circuses. It was all all an attempt to to to fight to defy God. All of it. Hitler, all of these characters, this drove them crazy. And of course the Jews drove them the most crazy because of this because somehow the Jews mirrored their nothingness to them. Hmon, they went crazy. But even in our generation and none of us are big anti-semmites like par and hmon but the nikud is the same it's the it's that nikuda that's the nikud of hmon that's the nikud of the yesesh when he saw mai not bowing down to him he went crazy because he knew mai is saying the truth I told you before purim you have the whole world bowing down to you yeah you you became the melik better you even have in your left pocket there's one old Jew who doesn't bow down to you big DEAL IGNORE HIM WHY DID HE GO CRAZY? YOU KNOW WHY? Cuz he knew that Mardai is the only one saying the truth. [laughter] Everybody's bowing down, bowing down for the picture. They have picture WhatsApp. Ham b Ham is on a picture with me. And Mardai looked up and said, "Are you?" [laughter] And Hmon knew the truth. Mardai mirrored back to him what he knew about himself. And that is you never existed. You never will exist. Of course, he went crazy. So he had to kill every Jew. You understand? This is the nuda. You could study history. Nobody ever experienced a moment of bliss from the framework of ego or the framework of insecurity. Both. Why? Because it's based on the lie of yeses. It's based on the lie of existence. The problem of existence is not that I don't know how to exist. The problem of existence is not that I don't believe in myself. The problem of existence is that it exists. And if you're not ready to surrender that, it's misery at your core. And you could go, you can be successful and I we bless each other with tremendous success, but you're going to come back to a core that doesn't exist and it's going to drive you mad and you will be a miserable person at your core. The only time that can happen when you surrender everything. Of course, I don't exist. Ah, okay. We could breathe. [laughter] And you'll see in those moments those moments when the ego surrenders to truth in a experiential way of that's where you you can have moments of because you're not a lie anymore. You're not a lie. You're not an imposttor. The greatest form of anxiety is that deep down we are imposters. And even if we deny it, we know it. And you can't fool the nervous system. meaning I'm lying. I'm lying about the fact that I exist. Celebrities, you see it because but but it's all of us. >> I'm denying the fact that aid mulvada. I'm denying the fact that I'm a channel. I'm denying the fact that I'm the light of Hashem in this world. And my entire ego, my entire resistance is the arena that just allows me to choose the surrender. So my separateness is not to be ashamed or humiliated or embarrassed or denigrated. My separateness is what Malus says but that's also part of B. And then you redeem your yeses and that's confidence. Confident. There's no self-confidence. It's it's confidence means bit. That's all confidence. Confidence means I'm nothing. I'm no thing. Now I know in our world when you hear I'm nothing it's like you know trauma of yeshiva the teacher who told you but this is the opposite once said in I think it was that he said these words in Yiddish he said when you have B in your you have confidence in your that's [snorts] its leads to what's bmi my bottle so now my confidence is in my it's real confidence as long as the ble is not in my confidence is a fake confidence and spiritually sensitive If people feel it, the real confidence is the confidence that comes from B. And for that confidence to take root in this world and in this psyche, this is Malus. This is the choice of B. So Malus of is just a code word. There's no Malus of there's oneness. There's infinity. Malatilus is a code word. It's the type of energy that Hashem is allowing to be manifested to create the consciousness in which our lives operate and fulfill our purpose. So when we're touching the ceiling of our consciousness, what are we touching? We're touching duality and we go crazy. People who are I don't like the word spirit spiritually enlightened, but I'll use the word people who are spiritually I think they think they're spiritually enlightened. What drives them the most mad? The duality, the separateness, the fact that you had your ego death. [snorts] Another little bit of a fake word, but you had your ego death and suddenly the next day you don't have your EGO DEATH. IT'S ALIVE AND WELL. So the worst thing is you think you still have your ego death. It just took on a new shape which is an enlightened ego. >> You it's resurrected BUT THIS TIME IT'S MUCH WORSE CUZ IT'S ALREADY A DEAD EGO. IT'S A DEAD EGO RESURRECTED convey to those dead eos be careful. Now I don't even have an ego. I am so perfect. I don't even have an ego. So of course the first thing is I get divorced because I can't be in a relationship and all the other things that happen. I abandon this one. I aband this one cuz my intuition told me, the gods told me last night that you I can never talk to again. And the person doesn't realize they're in there. They're they're in the toxicity of their crazy pain that they're not ready to deal with. And this is where you have to remember you're separate and your separateness is part of your sacred mission. Don't give me ego death. I want to see your ego and then choose to surrender. That's humility. Yes, I'm going to come back the next day and I'm going to be uh behemoth gasa and I'm going to have terrible tyus. I was not transformed. I did not go back into >> ego that you had before and ego now. >> That's true. >> The new ego, the ego. Exactly. And just because yesterday I was on a trip and it was amazing. But this morning I'm waking up with a big fat ego and it's a just took on a different shape. It's called ble. [laughter] Now I'm ego death. It's just a different shape. And some of those some some of those are the most dangerous people. They become cult leaders. What's malus? Malus is the sobriety of separateness. It's the sobriety of understanding you're a yesesh and therefore be humble. Be vulnerable. Make hashem your melik. Don't say I'm but the mitsus. No, no, no. That's malus. Malus say is that means I'm not the melik. That's real. That's how you know it's real. Also knew about eulum. He also knew about ego death. He also knew about mad. He didn't have a problem with that. [laughter] But you want you want to be real malus. Malus is you're my mel and I'm choosing to be your oh now you won't detach. Now you won't fall. Now you're sober. You're sober about your differences, about your duality, about your separateness. Now you redeemed your yeseshas. You know why? Cuz you acknowledged it. That's why you need a meal. I'm choosing that you're my meal. I'M NOT THE MELIK. You're the melik. Wow. That's that's that's real. That's simplicity. You're going to have moments that you're GOING TO FEEL GALDIC. NO PROBLEM. You're going to have a moha moment when you go go into the water. Gavaldic. It's a gift. But that's not YOUR GIFT. YOUR GIFT is yes. [laughter] Your gift is that you have a big fat ego. That's your gift. Okay? YOU WANT BL? TRUST ME IN ATSILUS THEY HAVE MUCH better ble than you'll ever have with all your thousand journeys. You're not even going to have a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of the B of >> Huh? And that's the gift. That's the gift of surrender. That's the gift of saying Melik Melik Malus. You're my mel. What do you mean? You're my melik. What about me? Yeah. I'm choosing to surrender to my king. I'm choosing to surrender. Yeah, I have to choose. You know why? Because I could choose not to surrender. That's where BL the model of B doesn't work because this is the bit. This is the real B. This is the B OF IT'S NOT. IT DOESN'T have the romance of it's it's it's not romantic. [laughter] You understand? It doesn't have the romance of law. But you need to learn about every day because you can't have if you don't know because why should I surrender my yesh only when you know then you can have then you could be a servant a a normal servant without it becomes a dictatorship it becomes like why should I surrender to anybody tells you who you really are tells you your mission. Means when everything is black, when all the blockages are removed, this is who you are. Wow. Means and now I get to choose it. That's it. I get to choose it. I get to choose it because I can also unchoose it. >> The rebre doesn't miss a beat. He doesn't miss a beat. People go here, they fly everywhere. They fly here. This is em. This is the emis of Atsmos. You could see it's the ems of Atsmos. He'll go all the way to Bal and then he'll go all the way into Yes. And he's never detached. It's never detached. It's exactly everything is is true. He'll go the highest levels of BL and then he'll go to the most grotesque levels of yeses because if it's Hashem it's all it's all connected it's all one. So he's not afraid of everything. Then this is the experience of it. Okay. So now let's see the end of this thought. Just [snorts] another few moments. 1 2 3 4 5 6. So Malus creates Yesh. This is it. And even though nonetheless goes into the which they call that's what we say in you're accepting. What's all the angels all the souls? That's not a language of that's not a language of you're not anything. It's not an oil. That's the experience. I'm a myself because of the awe of it's an aos is the what's the is you got to be I have to be a freaking forgive me a freaking idiot not to surrender to when it's the only true reality. You must accept with you're doing it. In other words, it's the yesesh in me that's doing it, not the in me. The learns of the and therefore chooses to surrender. The says in you should place on yourself a king. Yeah, of course you place on yourself a king. Who do you place a king? ON SOMEBODY ELSE. WHAT'S SO YOU HEAR what is it's on you. It's on your separateness. It's the part of you that's independent, that's autonomous. It's an individual journey. It's a choice. And it's also the word. You're placing the meal on you. He's not placing himself on you. You know why? Because then it's not. You choose the Malik. How can I choose the Melik? If he's a meal, he's the boss. No, you make him the That's the fascinating only is only when you accept it valitionally. If it's involuntarily, he's a powerful man and he imposes it. He's called a moshel. That's not melik. That's not huh. >> Yeah. We say that in soba says it's not a description. It's the definition of malus even my love is I recognize the boundary and I say you're going to have to choose this because if you don't choose this it's not going to be the experience of malus. I can't beat you into complying. Sorry. It's not the It's not not the relationship. So, this is where you have to choose. That's the key. Is a man of choice. He's he has choice. before Adam was created you can't have you have animals you have but they don't have so it's not they're programmed they're manifesting a program it's amazing but it's not malus the midas is not manifested it's not experienced in the world only Adam and can be the first ones to manifest malus why because they have choice doesn't mean they have choice choice. It's it's me. I have to go into me. It's my choice. What am who am I? It's not who are you, it's who are me. Who am I? And then I choose one way or another way. And that's really what happened on Adam and were created as Siamese twins. So they also couldn't choose each other. What happened underash? Hashem made a surgery. It's called a surgical decoupling. What happens and are now two separate people. Now they face each other. And now they can also choose to separate. You see what happens? As they were created, they can't separate because they're forced to be with each other. That's mesh. As they're separated now and can choose to separate or also choose to be married, to be together and this time it's going to be face to face because in the beginning it was back to back upon because ponim is choice. Pimus pmus is choice. So every what happens between them it's also between them and between us and God because the husband and the wife it's like the and the so it's the same process between a couple and that's why are so interconnected to the story those metaphors we were speaking before about marriage are not metaphors this is exactly started that is the building of femininity it's femininity giving femininity having its own identity to choose Feminism is an example of taking this energy and often distorting it. There was a Jewish feminist who once said, "Women need men like fish need bicycles." And with this, she deprived a whole generation of women from getting married or having children. And then when they're 80, there's a lot of regrets and pain because women need men. Like fish NEED BICYCLES. OH, THAT'S FEMININITY. I don't need anybody. That's where the pira goes wrong. It goes sour. You understand? What's real femininity? Real femininity is choose to trust. And in that process, your heart is going to open and you'll be able to fulfill your true heartbeat. But it has to come with it comes with. Yeah. There was a Jew, a writer, his name was Isaac Bashv, a singer. So he once wrote, he says, "We have to believe in free choice. We got no choice. >> [laughter] [panting] >> But so says, So here he says something incredible. What arouses in Hashem the desire for malus? The answer is our desire for Malus and that's in other words through when my surrenders to his when I go into my yesesh and I take my yesesh and I choose to trust Hashem this arouses in Hashem the understand how unnatural that is the for is essentially God saying I'm going to create a show in which I am completely not present and infinite. It's basically going away from truth. So that's a really really big undertaking and very risky. But he says the the the the relationship a guy somebody I know in Florida he listens to the shooter a lot it's a deep soul. So he writes to me the other day that he was having a lot of stress and a lot of anxiety and it was he was letting it out on his wife and a few other people in the world. He was really letting it out at her and uh [snorts] she's a good person. I happen to know them. She's a very good person. He's a very good person. But he was having a stress in his business, you know, a lot of stuff, family stuff, other stuff. And in his and they said he told me they went out they were they were driving somewhere and uh he was really he was just in bad mood and depressed and angry and anxious and you know all the qualities that we talk about and she was feeling it and he told me and she looked at him and she said to him these words she said I have dedicated my entire life to you. I love you at the core of my being. I want to be with you till my last breath, but I don't know what else I can do in order to bring life to this relationship. I don't know what else I can do. And he told me that at that moment, his wife saying that to him would cause him to go behind another 100 walls. Oh, this is really dangerous. Let's go eat. And but he he he was he was soulful enough. He felt his soul enough that his ara his foreskin could collapse. I see this is what Alb is describing when Hashem experiences the magic of the relational field that means someone who's separate you're not me can you experience the love of somebody else of our trauma more than people who don't love us because because it's so unfamiliar it's so suspicious it's so dangerous so we have to reject it with much more force and our psyche start going oh you want to manipulate me oh you want to control me because if we never had anybody body to really really love us when we were infants and regulate us. We don't know what it is. We know how to be defensive. We know how to we are a bulletproof vest. So when somebody gives us too much love, it's like oh my god. Now this is very serious. This is very very deep. She remained present. She said I want you. And suddenly he realized I want you. And he said everything was was gone. And it was it was like wow. There couldn't be a better moment for that credit because she rem and she said, "I want you." She didn't see his anxiety as a threat to her sanity and the need to run away and and and and throw him away, which is what a lot of women do because of their own wounding. And then men do it because of their wounding. And boom, they're not in the same world. You know what I'm talking about? Everyone knows what I'm talking about. This is pretty common stuff today. She stood her feminine ground. She knew what she wanted. She could have gone into her yesesh and like I don't need this guy. He's a weirdo. Why did I marry him? You understand? In her own brain, he's such a handful. Oh my god, I need a more simple guy. You know, she could have gone there or just shut down or just go into freeze or just get very aggressive or just start. She didn't. She said, "I dedicated my life to you. [laughter] What else do you want me to do?" And he got it. He switched. So is describing this process. >> She was all in. >> She was all in that takes confidence and suddenly he realized, "Oh my god, I'm not running away from this." And he went all in. The rats for Hashem from is unusual because it's a ruten for separateness. It's a ratsen that is opposite the truth. Igulum is the truth. Igulum is ble. But he says when the person surrenders the don't just think you're saving yourself. Don't just think you're finding your own liberation because you're surrendering to trust. God in his essence is affected by this. It creates the ine from it's the magic of the relationship that on his own can't have and really not. This is something God is everything but he's also lonely so to speak. BUT IS YOU'RE ALONE BUT YOU'RE ALONE. WHEN it says inb says in who's SAID was created so that SHOULDN'T BE ALONE. SAYS IT'S a metaphor and he said it's not good for me to be alone and therefore that's a big risk [laughter] and what happens when the surreners to the it's like ah this comes back to life the whole ratson from is ignited And that's called kesser malus. Malus gets its crown because kesser is desire and malus gets its fuel. It gets its desire. No, I really I want to learn for another four minutes because here finishes the theme and this here so we have at least a full picture and we'll continue basen here but right after the parenthesy he brings out one. Take a person. There is not one that will be expressed or manifested without first determining how much desire and how much bliss is inside of them. You may be a good guy and you want to give good. Everything that we have if there's no ruts or tuk behind it there's no fuel there's no gas the car doesn't drive we need desire or we want desire and behind the desire is a pleasure a bliss and based on how much ruts and tanug that's how much the mid will be expressed you may be a p a a person a good person and you want to be mive but if there's no ratsen for whatever reason a secret ratson that's described and you're going to stop. It's always there's a rut and you always have to see what's your what's your everything is fueled by a desire which is fueled by pleasure by a deep pleasure. So says so even it depends on his rot his desire. What's malus? Malus is that goes into a state of exaltedness to allow for otherness. That's also to that's also to so when Hashem says I'm going to ask you to say in order to coronate me, what does this mean really? God needs me to coronate him. [laughter] He needs me to make him God. I thought he was God. He's making me. I'm not making him. What's so says don't think it's a small thing. This is basically is you are arousing the ina because is unnatural. It's unnatural. It's completely going out of my identity which is a in order to foster and create complete independence which requires concealment which is a denial of all truth. That's big stuff. That's the mal of that. That is of the Jew taking his yesesh, his separateness, his ego, his lack of trust, his pain, his anxiety, everything that makes me separate, my atheism, my doubts, everything, and I lean into trust. I take that, holding it in my hands and surrendering it with my choice. that triggers that touches that original cord in atmos that I want you. Wow, you're here. This redefineses malus. HASHEM'S TUG IS NOW completely all in. You're all in. He's all in >> for one day, two days. >> No, for till next shash. >> Then go back into yourself. >> Well, after the shashana, you need to continue to learn. [laughter] This also affects the whole year. >> Of course, this is >> power source. >> It's like the power source. It's called the head. He's going to explain. It's the head of the year. Because the head, everything that's happening in the body is in the head. What do they say? It's all in your head. Shana is the head of the year. It's not the beginning of the year. It's the head. It's the neurology. It's neurological time. Rashana is neurological time. In other words, every moment of rashana is a brain experience that the entire body is governed there. So the experience of if you look at the word we we know today time is relative. In other words time shrinks it expands. Look at as two days that have in them concentrated the entire year. You say how can there be a year and two days? Well if you travel with the speed of light [laughter] everything everything changes in terms of time. Time is all relative. It's a dimension of existence. So shashan is two days that have in it the time of the whole year. And the reason is because you're touching the malus. So that's the creating a what's the in that's how does that happen? The person's the person's [snorts] the feminine energizing the masculine from a place of complete choice and presence. And that's that is the whole God's like, "Oh, of course I wanted this." Back to that husband. He's like, "Oh my god, I was I was in La La Land. I was in toxicity. Of course, I want this. This is everything. This is everything. I was just completely in my in my in my in my in my insanity." That's the [snorts] Everybody have an amazing day. We will continue baser Hashem Monday morning 8:00. A good genchen to everybody. [applause] >> This [music] class is brought to you by the yeshiva.net. Please help us continue the classes. Make even a [music] small contribution at ww.theshiva.net/donate.