How Healthy Is Your Relationship with the Rebbe? | Mammar Keitz Sum Lachoshech #2

the yeshiva.net. >> Good kesh everybody. I'm Margan. Welcome. Thank you for gracing us. Today's class is dedicated by our dear friend Reb Ezra David Phillip. First of all, Mazd and it's dedicated in honor of Ami Israel's heartfelt yearning for the speedy rebuilding of the third Bikdash and the ultimate redemption when all the darkness will be transformed into light. Amen. Today's the first day of the yard site of Aaron Aayen. The only yard site that's recorded in the Tyra, the only yard site that records which day they passed away is a not even the only yard site is site. It's interesting the first day of the fifth of the fifth month. And where is it recorded? It doesn't say it in the par where it says about his passing. His passing is inas over there doesn't say it says it in par mav like almost like it's off on a tangent he mentions iron he mentions his passing he also mentions which day so I once heard from the rebald he said because paras mas is always read in the three weeks and uh before like this week shabas mas is the shabas of it's usually shabas and of starts the nine days which was the is the beginning of the nine days. The reason for the was the sinner the hatred is the healing because of so not in the right place which which is before mentions and the day of so this is like the infusion the empowerment that has the energy of to be able to heal everything that has to be healed the power of love the power of connection the power of attachment That's why it's the yard say that's mentioned and it's it's so to speak in the wrong para quote unquote. So that's today's day, right? Of course. Looks like looks like it's in the wrong par. Okay. So we began the on Monday. There was an end that Hashem has placed to the darkness. Darkness has an expiration date. You know, when you buy something, there's an expiration date. It's going to expire. So make sure you eat it before July 21st because afterwards you can get a stomach virus. Right? So darkness also has an expiration date. You don't have to eat it before but it has an expiration date. It has a date that it's going to expire. And this is the focus of the mimer really focusing. So he asked a few questions that we discussed and he discussed two different types of light. the light that overrides darkness and the light that transforms darkness. There's the light that defeats darkness, but it doesn't completely cancel it for the future. And then there's the light that redes the darkness. It creates a change in the very fabric of the way the darkness perceives itself. It gets into its core, you know, it plays with its DNA, so to speak. It transforms it from within. that almost it's it its own messages change. That's that's the that's the real transformation. Transformation is when it becomes your friend rather than your enemy because it reveals its true colors. When the darkness reveals its true colors, that's its ultimate healing. Because now it's never coming back as darkness because it can come back as m as much as it wants, but it's it's its secret has been revealed. We punctured, we puncture the facade and we reveal the secret. Says that's why it says everything has an end. Everything has an expiration date. But what's the expiration date of darkness? It's not just an expiration date. That there's going to be so much light it won't come back. It's going to be a transformation. And that's why the gula is not just a gula. That is a liberation of exile. It's one that will cancel the possibility for another exile. Yeah. And for this he started to explain the of that was the main discussion we discussed last week last year that uh the that the fifth lab was a he was born which was 1760 he passed away basis in tes 1920 in the middle of the bolevik revolution 1920 in rustv where he's buried I'm sorry 80 sorry tish kafal is 1860. He was born 1860 and he passed away 1920. Yeah. Yeah. I stand corrected. 1860 and he passed away which is 1920ish would say Friday night. So Shabas Friday nightish which was the last day of July July 29th. uh uh July 29th, 1914. Shabas was already August 1st. That's the day it turns out. As I told you, the first world war began. The first world war began technically began a day earlier, July 28, August 1. Germany attacked Russia. So that really created a world war. And that shabas there was a m like every shabas which is of and that whole mime is about the different states of what is three generally three levels of and it happens to be as I told you last time that that was the day that changed history the day that brought in the most dense form of darkness and that day he set a m that was dedicated to to light and as we'll soon see as the kay continues that the theme of The mimer is connected to the whole point of what it means to transform the darkness. 50 years later 1964 the Eb said also on Shabas of this mime but he began it. Yeah. So that's what we discussed at length and he started to quote from the mime an understanding of what is as I told you in the is a very very common term it's constantly used. Yeah, the word. Huh? >> Yeah. The word is frequently used when describing a divinity, godliness. Usually the word is so so generally he says is in B. Ki is yes and is in B. And then he said in the B of in the of there are three madgas three states of consciousness three dimensions three aspects three frequencies if you wish if you wish of if you wish yeah three just to quote the words one is the b of mitad itself atma it is a mitas of b its identity is ble Because its mission statement, its function, its purpose, it's its mo is not I but to reveal source to channel source. That's number one. Number two, the Rashab says there's a deeper level of B that it feels its source. The experiences its source and that creates yet a deeper level of a deeper ay. And the third thing he said is has the nature of it wants to return back to its source. It wants to be reabsorbed in its source wants to go back where it came from. That's the deeper and this is all in all three states in what makes but in the ion itself there's the first level the and in last year we discussed that asking the three levels almost seem like the same thing. It's all that it feels it source. He never goes independent. He doesn't, you know, you got the guy starts working for you and then a few years later. You know, he's taking you to court. You know what I mean? Doesn't do that. You know those Yeah. He learns everything from you and then he uses it against you. Right. I'm just using a little bit of a of a grub, a metaphor, but never goes independent. He always knows who he is because he feels a source. Yeah. And a makes it very clearly that there's three three madgas three levels three states of consciousness. And the second one is deeper than the first. And the second one he calls. So they've asked two questions. First of all, one and two seem identical. And the second is that two doesn't seem higher than one because one is actually a bit in its mitsus is b. And the second one you're just saying when it feels its source, it feels insignificantly copy its source. Being insignificant relative to somebody else is a far lower level of nullification than realizing that your very identity is ble two very fascinating questions. So we started to discuss the explanation. Yeah. Start to expose explanation. Explanation he says it in it's a beautiful beautiful words. It's just written uh it's concise. It's a few lines but it captures it. And the words that he said is that's true but because is not defined by being a source for it's also a source for but you can't reduce it to that is meaning it's true that means source liked right the sun is called the is what comes from the like the ray of the sun is the that comes from the m which is the sun itself the solar the solar core the ball of the sun that's m that's what it says in Right. The two great luminaries is a luminary, a source of light comes from the m. It's true comes from the m but the whole comes from the m but the whole m is not defined by the it's not like that is that is m that's my whole thing that light comes from me. It comes from it. So, so when the reveals the m the could reveal what the could reveal from the m the aspect of of of light that the m produces but not its core essence which is beyond light and because is so connected to its source it feels and it experiences that this source is beyond it can't be revealed through it and that creates a deeper ble in the mitsus of the why Yeah. So I want you to see the the the the last lines from uh if you look in your copies it's page. Yeah. The third the third page of the copies you see on the top there's there's a second paragraph starts right. So right before that three lines from the top this parenthesis is critical. The mitsus of is what is giloy is revelation. That's its mitsas. That's its mission statement. That's its purpose. That's its identity. That's the passport. Who am I? Revelation. Not revelation of me. Revelation of meer. Not revelation of me. I don't exist. I don't exist. I'm here to show you. I'm here to let you see what is. I'm here to let you see reality. I'm not here to let you see me. Right? When when somebody says, "What's in the room?" Who was in the room? So you mentioned there was this, this, this, this, this. You don't mention there was also light. Even though without the light, there was nobody in the room, right? You come into a room and it's dark. There's nobody in the room. You can't see anybody. It's the light really. Who gets the most? THE LIGHT. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. YOU DIDN'T MENTION ME. I'm also in the room. Why do you say that? He was at the He was at the By the way, it was also light at the Of course, I'm saying it a little humorously, but you understand the point. The point is because the whole mission of light, what's light? It just lets you see everybody else. When a room is dark, push it physically. When a room is dark, everything is here, but you don't see it. I can't experience I can't experience your face. I can't experience your presence. I can't exper I mean, I could we could touch. There's still touch and smell and hear, but in terms of of of vision, I don't have that stimula coming to me because it's dark. When nightfall and you're in the dense darkness and there's no candle, there's no flame. and it's pitch dark. There could be everything here but I don't see it. Suddenly the sun rises what happens? There's a source of lighter which sends down the first of it allows me to see the sun its own source. But whatever the balances off it allows me to see you and you and you and you. Thank you. Thank you light. We thank every day, right? >> The sun itself is but the rays of the sun, the light that comes from the sun, that's the earth. And that allows us to see the sun. I wouldn't be able to see the sun. I wouldn't know there's a sun. And it also allows me to see everything else because whatever the light balances off, the light bounces off your beautiful face. So, how do I know you exist? The answer is there's a allows for the we take everything for granted because we live in that world. But nothing should be taken for granted. Everything had to be create. Somebody had to create it. You know, we take light for granted. Sure. >> As long as you pay the electric bill, you take it for granted, right? Well, the sun, you don't even have to pay an electric bill. So, you ask the light. You ask the light, "What do you do? What do you do for a living?" He says, "Oh, you got the wrong question. You're already asking the wrong question. You're barking up the wrong tree." Yeah. I heard from my brother a joke. Somebody asked his uh somebody asked somebody else. He says, "What do you do for a living?" He says, "I work for my brother." I says, "What does your brother do?" He's looking for a job. Yeah. Good answer, right? You're barking up the wrong tree. you're focusing on the wrong tree because the whole of is it lets you see reality. So what is its function? Not to see me to see reality. So that's what he says is Giloy the Giloy what in the parenthesis it's not its own giloy but it's giloy it's revealing it's revealing what it's revealing the that's the first level does these two lines are written with such beautiful precision But because when the feels that the and here he says mus means the essence of the is higher than gilo is beyond revelation as we said the essence of the m is not that light comes from it light also comes from it but that's not its essence but the the feels the mar because it's dovok it's ble to the mar so it feels also that its source is beyond what could be revealed through number one and the feels even more that the has no iss of even in the mits of gilli the mits of is not yes the matas of is gilli but even that mas experiences a bit and that's the The second the second ay of isl you see how it says Khan wrote to Miami he was a brilliant writer was brilliant he knew how to like define it in very very clear terms like just these two lines it's a whole universe he's saying here but he just he he nails it so to speak >> what is migil >> what's lau Flex good. You want me to talk about what's la? The reason oil breaks it quits because it gets this question and it's like oh huh that's what that's the that's what creates the not the not the is that's the first level that's pretty amazing it is not yes so what's the of the second it feels the muker the first one also feels the muker Iron is always pointing to source. That's what it does. It's here to tell you I have a source. The rays of the sun never say, "Look at me. Look at the sun. I'm just a reflection. I'm just a reflection. I don't have my own identity." It does it for its own source and it does it for everything else. Whatever whatever it's it's illuminating, right? The comes from you, the comes from you, it's always pointing back. I see you. I don't see the light. That's the But it's really all because the truth is I don't see you. Nobody sees anything. We just see the light. You know that, right? This is the key. We don't see you. I don't see you. I only see the light. And that's why there's so many things that we don't see. And we we say they don't exist. It's not that they don't exist. Just for us, existence is only what I see. You know, there's colors that we can't see. Birds see. Animals see colors. There's birds that see colors that we don't see. Just like there sounds that animals can hear, we don't hear them. It's not that they don't exist. It's just that we don't have the receptacles. We don't have the the it's called receptors to be able to absorb it and to interpret it. So, we say it doesn't exist. I don't want to constantly say I don't see reality. That's not what our survival instincts like to say. I see everything that I have to see. But really, I don't see you. I see the light. And therefore based on the on the light that's coming off and based on the nature of the light and based on the wave length of the light and based on my receptacles that's how we interpret reality. >> Yeah. Yeah. The the mus of the sun so to speak the core of the sun. >> Yeah. And that the knows it's not channeling. So why is that a deeper level of BL? Because here the experiences the truth of who it is because of its B. So it never even gets stuck in the fact that it's that that that's the beauty of it. It's so loyal. So it channels the truth and the truth is I'm revealing. I am but what can I already reveal? You know there was a and they used to say you know in say right so in English say how are you but in say what does really mean what are you making so you would always say what what some somebody who was made what could he make already it was a answer for him yeah it's A CLASSIC what are you taking you know and once so he was a funny guy he's still a funny guy so I would ask him I make believe I don't know that was an honest answer but the knows but it there's its muker and when it has its muker there's a ble of kasha that the whole that is the source which is beyond Gil it would be like the core of the sun that the light can't reflect properties dimensions existence you tus a little bit this is the second this is the second state of ay it's a very it's the reason why I think it's deeper is Because natural state is you get very very frustrated with book and don't understand. >> Right. Very good. >> Very good. >> The reason why it's such a high level is because he's so open to you. >> It it brings you down if you have an ego. If you have an ego, it brings you really down because I have to be everything. >> It's not that he doesn't understand even a part of it. It's he realized that his entire identity is is is not even to that that's why he says the first level he's not his mitas is b it's unbelievable to that your mitsus is b don't like you know start people go high and then the first that's nothing yes it's not yes that your mitsus is b that's like the secret to By going to the second level, he's not delegitimizing the first. >> Yeah. So, generally, you know, one of our one of our instincts in life is this is the instinct of yeses that whatever I don't understand frustrates me. So, I do one of two things. Either I force it into my mind so I do understand it or I go into despair. But it's really the same thing. You understand? It's two different types of egos. One is the ego. >> Yeah. Yeah. I just I despair. I give up. I go into like a depression, so to speak. But it's really the same thing. I cannot deal I cannot deal with the frustration that I don't understand that I don't get it. I can't deal with it. So either I force it into my mind and I, you know, play around with reality or with my brain. We do that a lot. We negotiate, you know, we or the opposite. I I could just give up and you're angry at everything which is also a form of uh it's it looks like ble but it's not. Huh? >> Yeah. It's my mitsas becomes I just disassociate. I don't care anymore. I'm like I'm done. But I make sure to stay away. I can't be in the presence of infinity and and look at it. It's too it's too humbling. It's too much ble. You can't deal with so much ble abys. You know you give it in drops. Yeah. A little medicine. Abyle you know. H but but but is the real B. So that's the deeper that it could be marg it's it's it's not it's because it it doesn't have an ego it's even the b the b of is also because it's not really meal the mus and this creates a different type of b in the somebody reminded me of a story the used to the used to tell the story a lot by fabangans the story had a very deep kavas by I heard it from the reb a few times. It's a famous story that in Russia there was once a fabangan and um for many many hours and the of the fabangan was ble what else is there to talk about a real fabangan is bit yeah ego death as we call it they were going home in Russia by the bolevixs the communists you had to have your ID constantly and the police could stop you and ask you to show ID and that ID you could only get if had a job and if not you can get arrested right away. So uh the rebadim I remember was they going home from the fab was the middle of the night and the policemen saw one of the who was coming from this intense experience and the policeman looked at him and I still remember the said in Russian he said to him means who in Russian means goes who goes like who who's going who is walking here who's going in other words I want your ID So the Reb said the responded to him B is going B is walking and the Reb wanted to bring out yeah that's his MAS that's my name who's going he said he was so identified with the message he said yeah and that's what he told the policeman he didn't say it at In other words, he brought it to the bank, you know, was something he was he was ready to pay a price for that's the first that's the first of that's really what is and now you have to be how deep that is what that means that you're a mitz but what is your mitsus is a mitsus you know how I know is a mitz because the whole of is to to reveal source where it's not where it's not present where it's not revealed. That's what it's it's it's accomplishing something amazing. It's the communicator. It's the AL is not in vain. You don't appoint the you have nothing to do. You appoint the because he's doing something that the male can't do, so to speak. He's bringing the message. He is the messenger bringing the message to a place where it doesn't exist. That's what a is. If he doesn't exist, so then you don't need him. He exists. But what is his existence? Morris that the identity of the is the it's like an extended an extended identity an extended arm of the an interesting thing used to say this a lot also it says in I think the like this it's very fascinating when you carry on Shabas let's say food there's a sheer how much you have to carry in order to be to be liable let's say to bring a carbonas if you take a cholen bean a little cholen bean and you take it from it's a it's not enough so you're not you're not liable you're not let do it we asking us and I'll tell you but you're not liable. There's no liability cuz it doesn't have a sheov. You need a shash of like a fig with the it has to have a she of like food. A little cholen bean. It's not called food. It's not avail. I'm just an example. Chen bean is wet and you're an istanness. You're you're you're a sensitive guy. So what do you do? You take your cholen bean and you put in a cholen pot. The cholen pot is the size of a kabush. You know those cholen pots in. So you put your you don't want to carry it in your hands for whatever reason. So you put in the cholen pot and now you carry the cholen pot across or to another from the opposite pot. Yeah. So you don't just have a you have a humongous or not what's you know anybody knows. Huh? Huh? You should be right. You took out a p if you if you just take out a ch because I want to bring you a pot is your potter you put that's what the says that's why the used to bring this to be the first level of you have a huge ki you putter because it's iron WHY IS IT IT'S NOT IRON because sins the Purpose of the k is what? To transfer the food and the food is mash. So the ki is an extension of the food. It's just here to serve the food and the food itself is mash. So you put it even on the so you have even inl that in reality is carrying out a HUGE KI. IF IT WOULDN'T have a chol and bean inside you would be but because you redefine the purpose of this vessel not to be a vessel independent of it not to be an independent vessel but just to transfer the food. So the kal is an extension of the food. It's like who am I? Oh I'm just here to uh I'm just here to serve. So melee it's like loses its physical properties its dimensions and it became a so now this is not this is this is brings it it's but it's a fascinating that would say what that's of B is not you don't exist if you don't exist then we don't need you to be bottle B is B idot B is going. I'm going is very creative. Oid is brilliant. Oid is infinite actually. But what is its infinity? What is it? >> Huh? >> Oh, but when O because of the B of O realizes that the is beyond that the core of the M it can't be Mala. So this creates a the wants to quit. It feels been garnished. The been garnished >> a very positive way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Very positive way. Of course. The word BL Yeah. is the most positive word you'll ever hear in your life. And the wordash is even more positive. >> It's even more to put it in terms the greatest you can ever achieve in your life is to be you understand because everything else is fake news. I'm not going to give you again my mushel with the chick and the egg. But you get the point. Everything else is fake news. I'm stuck in my egg and I'm kash means you're in touch with reality. So you're part of reality. You understand? You really understand? You feel it? You you start knowing that is affecting you when you start seeing in a mime the word and your heart expands and you go into regulation. You see the words and you're like, "Oh, thank you. Wow. Bring on some more of then it means it's resonating. It's in it's resonating. If it's like, oh no, here we go again that I don't exist. I'm done. I do exist. So this is this is this is a classic this is a classic dugma for the first Indian. Now I just want to bring it bring it out. You asked even though I'm not supposed to answer your question, but since since somebody tells me that teaching is my love language, I'm going to answer your question. Huh? >> When we speak in physical about when the world of physicality about we have to always remember that the mushel as beautiful and as powerful as it is because everything in the physical is really a mushel for the spiritual. So all the properties of physical light are a metaphor for spiritual light. And that is why I mentioned last time that light even in the world of science and physics is one of the most complex realities that till today. Yeah. If you'll if you'll you'll research tell me about light being a particle and a wave they'll tell you one of the most obscure or complex things in science because since light is a metaphor for so even the physical light has in it properties that reflect the inion of iron as much as it could be reflected in the physical because of course everything in the physical world is not iron the sun is not ion and the light of the sun is not ion but because it's a marshall for iron So therefore, as much as it could be expressed in Gashmir, it expresses iron. That's why the speed of light is not normal. It's abnormal. 360,000 km/s. The sun, I think, is like 93. Where is the sun, I think, is 93 million miles, right? Give or take the last time I counted. How long? So, when I see something, when I'm looking at the sun, I'm not looking at the sun now. I'm looking at the sun 8 minutes ago because it takes 8 minutes approximately for the light to travel from the sun here to Earth. It takes 8 minutes. Pretty fast. 186,000 miles per second. That's the speed of light. 186,000 miles per second. So, you know how long how fast light how much distance light travels in a minute? A second is 186,000. That's a second. times 60. So do you understand now how much distant light covers in an hour? What about in a day? What about a week, a month, a year? If you ever read in an article, a 100red billion light years. Nobody realizes what that means. We're like, "Oh, 100 billion. Okay, I'm almost there." 100 billion light years. You understand? We think 100 billion 100 billion years is also not such a small uh number. 100 billion light. People don't realize light years. They don't understand what light years means. We are years. 365 days. It's long, but it's a light years a second. It's traveling 186. So when you say the universe, right, we see like 93 billion light years. In our world, that's mama. I mean, it's not a but it's you're not going to get much closer to so to speak. People don't realize this is light. This is what light has. How does light get this? The answer is BL. You understand? When you have this BL, you could fly 186,000 m per second because you're not paralyzed. You're not stuck. How can light be a particle and a wave, which is two opposite things. Imagine I throw I have a bunch of tennis balls and I throw the tennis balls. So each tennis each ball is acting like a ball, but suddenly they also act like waves like in the water. And light travels both ways. It's like a duality. It's a complex duality. The answer for all of this is I don't know call it an answer but the the the the awareness behind it is it's of so the physical reflects it but still it's not really telling the story because in the real story what is revealing it's not revealing the sun it's not revealing the moon it's not a flashlight that when I put on a flashlight in the middle of the night in a dark room I see the flashlight the light of the flashlight lets me see the flashlight it also lets me see the table it lets me see the computer lets me see the pen lets You see the people here what is being maggala what is it being magala the source what's the source the source is what's I don't know but what we do know is that we don't know meaning it has no definition what is source what is source source is a has no definition infinity means there's no way to describe it it's infinite even in definition there's no description there's no identity THERE'S NO DEFINITION THAT'S what is revealing so if you want to say it in English words what is that hashem allowed there to be an experience of that's if there wouldn't be what would be if there wouldn't be things exist but I don't see them I don't have a relationship with is the relationship is the brings me the message. So what's that? Hashem wanted that should be experienced by you. I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE. YOU KNOW, he didn't want to be alone. I want I want a partner. I want to get married. The whole reason God created the world was because he wanted to get married. He was a perfect bachelor. You know that God was the most perfect bachelor in history. He needed nobody. He needed nothing. How much like a bachelor? He had homes wherever he want everything. Why did he why did he create the world? He wanted partnership. It comes with opposition too. The beginning of that marriage is that's the beginning is the beginning of communicia communication. The communicativity begins with why I want you to see me. That's what is. I want you to see me. >> Source. Yeah. Hashem wants that someone so to speak should see should experience. That's but here's the key a is not something that's experience a is is is no thing any form of experience is is already defined and knows that and reveals that and that's the sec that's where the ble the ble happens So now so so so let's let's let's understand when he says is and is because is to be and is ay there's no mitsas any form of mitsus is a defined term which comes which is a layer of reality that comes through concealment and because is mala the truth it reveals the truth so therefore is the gill So is always pointing you to the truth and the truth is transcendence. The truth is infinity. The truth is that's what it's maggala. It allows us to experience something of a in other words it's communicating. That's what it is. It's communicating. You have to remember that's the word communication transmission. But what is its holing in? Its holing in is just to be mala the mer. So now this is the answer to your question. As much as is mala right? What can it be meala? It can bring into experience that which you could experience that which can be revealed that which can be reflected that which I could see even the highest level of that's why he started he says but the is from the so there's an element of that has no to it can't express it not because it doesn't want to express it because it's nonexpressable. Did I just make up a word? Okay. It's not expressable. Pure an isser. Our brings it into some form of REALITY THAT OUTSIDE OF ATMA, so to speak, you should be able to see, perceive, experience truth. But whatever that is, even in the in in the deepest deepest way, it's still an of gil. SO THE OF IS NOT THAT IT'S not doing its job. IT'S DOING ITS JOB PERFECTLY. But even the most perfect job, what is it doing? It's revealing, which means it's something that could be revealed. It could be channeled. It could be spoken of. It can be experienced. The ultimate ultimate truth of reality is beyond experience. It's pure and cythe. And because is bottle and is it feels that it feels that source too. And this is what challenges that its very identity is only Megala the Moyer that it could be Megala but it's Margish that the mus of the Moyer is and all the Gil doesn't have a legab that so this creates a deeper ion in the so that's what it means understand He's still continuing to do his job. >> Oh, of course. Of course he continues to do his job. He's loyal. He continues to do his job. >> Because he's doing his job so well. Two is not a contradiction to one. Because he's doing his job so well, which means he's completely here to channel source. So he feels the source including the source that cannot be communicated through him and that everything he's communicating is that is first and this is very very deep Because I keep on saying the first one is of course deep but this has a depth to it. That's why it's a deeper bit because here it's a feeling of the saying everything anything I ever taught you anything I ever spoke about anything I ever revealed was a lie. Not it was a lie that I was lying. I don't mean a lie. I was lying. It was a lie because it made believe that that's all of the truth. You have to understand is what's the deepest lie? The deepest lie is not, yeah, I borrowed $1,000. I tell you I borrowed $100. That's a shaita. It's not a liar. What's the deepest lie? The deepest lie is that I shared truth with you making you believe that this is the truth. When really this is the truth that I could channel. And when when when and says that and and therefore says really I should quit like everything I ever taught is a lie. Not not that it's not true. It's true. But wait till you meet real source like it's it's it's of everything I said. >> It's not intensity. You see the last words he says it's almost like I quit not I quit in reality tomorrow morning he has to show up he's he's a he's a he's a he was high he's but there's that feeling that that leg this it's not like all I have all the first level all I have to contribute is source nothing else that's big he doesn't hijack anything all I am is Gileiamer You understand? That's that's all I am. The second thing is I actually have nothing to contribute. I'm lying to you. I'm I'm I'm not I'm I'm making believe that I'm giving you the truth, but the real truth I can't give you. >> I have no contribute. >> I have no thing to contribute. That's av that's a bit where even the mitas of B goes goes goes with that >> look >> what does that look like >> great question what does that look like in life I so appreciate the question because most my that people learn they don't ask this question and certainly this mime it's like I'm good with the first level, you know, on a good day, you know, middle of nila, maybe like the second level, the third level, like who you talking to? Yeah. Al, so just before you end, I guess what I'm thinking is like there's a line, you know, sometimes like when I get this like that's it. I'm in touch with like sweet as it gets like I just touched it and so do I really need more than that like or is it a weaker version is easily corrupt that's also a very good question you're saying if ultimately we're one with Hashem and so the moment you have a piece of you have the whole so that's it you're one you're connected The answer to the qu second qu the answer to the second question is we spoke about this at length in basilani the whole of is I want a relationship with you. I want a relationship with you on your terms. I want that we should be able to experience each other in the most authentic way and that the relationship should permeate every single part of you. So it's true there is an element where there's oneness but the of is really that's why the so focuses on it is because it's about integration. It's about a truly truly working through the entire process until it becomes a full identification and unification. It's what we like we learned before about the darkness in last year. You can undo the darkness and you can transform the darkness. to undo the darkness, you defeat it. It's because you have a powerful light like you have is you get inspired and for a few hours or a few days or a few weeks or even a few months, you're flying high. But when it comes back, it sometimes comes back with a vengeance. Right? The real work is to be able to work through the darkness so that when the darkness comes back, he's coming back as light. That process requires being aware not just of my light, but also of my darkness. Not just of my oneness but also of my separation. And this is very important because people often don't understand this in Tanya. As much as Alreb speaks about our closeness with God, you know what? He equally speaks about our distance. Why is that so important? Stop telling me that I'm distant. Tell me that I'm close. I know that I'm distant. The answer is you're making a mistake. The only way you could become really close is when you know your distance in the most honest of ways. Yeah. In a marriage, what makes the best marriages? Not when the husband and wife look at each other. Oh, we're just two peas in a pod. We're identical. I could finish his sentences. >> Okay, great. Come back to me in 10 years. Let me see how many sentences you're finishing. You want to know what you want to know what the one of the most powerful moments in a marriage is when they can actually talk about how much they're separated from each other. Right? with a maturity, without attacking where the husband or the wife could look at each other and say, you know, this is something that is so hard for me about you. This is something that really triggers me. This is something where we're so different. And they could stay present in that. That's where real closeness happens. You know why? Because that closeness works through the separation. The first closeness is we go on vacation, we're flying high, everything is amazing until the next fight. You understand that? With the second one, there's not going to be a next fight cuz you worked through the fight. Yeah, we know the triggers. Exactly. When you SAY FRIDAY MORNING SHABAS IS COMING AND I AM A MESS AND A WRECK AND I he hears that OR SHE HEARS THAT AND THEY EACH GO CRAZY AND right and they could talk about that their separation now they can become one. You what I'm saying? So it's not that we worship distance. Now talks about kipa a lot in Tanya. Why stop talking about kipa? No, don't stop talking about kipa. When you stop talking about kipa, you don't get rid of it. It just controls you. Talk about it, identify it, see it, and then it stops controlling you. It's like, oh, kipa. Okay, separation. To work that through, you need the is is the internalization. In terms of your first question, what does this mean in life? To bring it down in a very simple way, just a very very simple way. Yeah, it's really it's it's it's it's really I'll tell you what it means. It means that you have a reba. That's the second level. That's what it means. I'll explain to you what I mean. You have a lot of people. Huh? That's what it really means. Huh? >> That's what it means. That they have a reb, in other words, you have people, very good people, innocent people, sincere people, and they do a lot of inner work and they really they really experience at least some form of ego death. And and I'm talking about sincere people. I'm not talking about Shalom, the first. We're talking about real thing and they reach sometimes very very powerful levels to the point that there's moments in your life I know it's not always but there's moments in life a person could actually wake up in the morning and look to Hashem and say I'm a channel and I want to be a pure channel I really want to be a pure channel which means I want to be I want to be today that's what I want to be and that means I'm not defend what that means to be a pure channel it means psychologically what does that mean right ble B let's it means I'm not defensive. It means I'm not looking for validation. This is all is not defensive. Is not looking out there. I'm not judgmental. I'm not jealous. Okay. I'm not competitive. I'm not business world of competition. Completely completely humble. Completely completely a channel. Pure pure channel. And that's my striving. That's my identity. I don't even want anything else. And the moment you experience this part of you, you know that you don't want anything else because anything else is just going out of your going out of your truth. It's like building a fake identity. We always talk about that, right? Ego easing God out. That's ego. And it's a very very powerful place. There's also a little trap and maybe not the word is trap and that is I become comfortable in me being a channel for the infinite light. I almost become comfortable there. I'm not going to say it's an avoid because I don't think that's the right word. But it becomes a almost like I got this. I got this. Not I the defensive eye, but I my BL got this. My and it's a lot of work to get here. It's a lot of work. It's a beautiful place to be and it's the foundation of everything. It's the foundation of a hashem. It's the foundation of relationships. It's the foundation of love. This a place of love. But then sometimes life throws a curveball and your whole bitt is shaken up and it's like, God, I was supposed to be your guy. Oh, you have another that I didn't know about. I was the CEO of the company. Not not in an arrogant way even, but but but I'm the guy. What's missing? The person doesn't have a reba. When the rebba would sit by his father by the rebay, by the previous he wouldn't say a word. And even 20 years later after the potato when he would go upstairs to that room, he would sit there. He wouldn't say a word. Imagine the deb would not say a word. If somebody asked a question, he would answer. All the meals that he had, he wouldn't say a word. Downstairs at 770, he could speak for hours. upstairs he didn't say a word same person this is 20 years after the of the he didn't say a word and wouldn't even sit he would sit at the side like he sat there when alba came to the maggot he wouldn't say a word what does that do that that that's that's that's the bit of that really makes so It's the fact that you know that there's something that you really don't know. Like after everything I don't get it and I'm fine with that. The fact that says I don't get it. I'm not revealing anything. In fact, whatever I revealed is not even a half a percent of truth. It's not even a quarter of a percent. In fact, the truth IT'S NOTHING. It's like lighting a candle. That's what is literally it's a sunny beautiful day and you go light a candle and you walk around TO EVERYBODY LOOK AT MY CANDLE LOOK AT MY CANDLE WHY ARE YOU NOT LOOKING AT MY CANDLE and like honey come back at night at night at night you're going to BECOME the son you have not you're not you're not contributing anything you understand WHEN SUDDENLY REALIZES I'M NOT CONTRIBUTING ANYTHING. What do you mean I'm not contributing anything? I'M THE GUY WHO'S A cyh you're meal. What could be gilaldic? But the musabs it's you're not meal that and it's completely and anything you're meal IT'S NOT LIKE A half a percent. How much percent of light is in the candle relative to the sun? Right? And here it's not a good mushel because the sun and the candle are both physical. It's a difference. It's a difference of of of numbers. Here you're talking about so it's not a difference in numbers. So here fails I I don't get it. IT'S STILL DOING ITS JOB. OBVIOUSLY it has to do its job. It was hired for something. What does that mean in life? It means in life that with all the bit you have channeling there's a moment where you also have to and want to be able to say I know nothing. I really know nothing. And what I don't know is much more than anything I ever knew. It's not like I know nothing but between you and me I know a lot more than everybody else. You know what I mean? IT'S LIKE, "YEAH, I KNOW NOTHING." You know, it's part of the game, you know, in all these. Yeah. Until you start up with them, you know. So, the guy gets up at, you know, and I have nothing to say. After everybody spoke, I have nothing to say. And like we're all thinking, we agree. And then 45 minutes later, HE HAS A lot to say. Let me ask you a question. Why was Mosha more humble than other people? The alterb had more B than any person. The greater you are, the less B you should have. The answer is because when you're you have more B than anybody else because you have the second level. Of course when you're in the when he what he knew he didn't know completely was >> it's very very deep this it's not they say I didn't see in sources I saw it from I guess it comes from other sources because I didn't see it in the lab sources that alter was once at and there was a bat at the and he was a he was a Alterba. So he knew it's a problem. How is he going to do batonis? You know batanis you have to be light and loose and joke around and a little cynical and in front of he couldn't. So he decided he has he has to nice have a nice drink to do he has to do his job but he couldn't right. So he had he had a lot of and was sitting and he starts his he tells he turns to and he says I thought about it and I decided that there's no big difference between you and me. There's no big I'll tell you why. Yeah. What I know you also know. What you don't know I also don't know. So what I know you know. What you don't know, I also don't know. So what's the difference? The difference is the difference is THERE'S THINGS YOU KNOW AND I DON'T KNOW. BECAUSE WHAT I KNOW, YOU KNOW. WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW, I DON'T KNOW. SO WE'RE EQUAL. SO WHAT WHAT'S the difference? There's things you know and I don't know. Okay. And he tells and relative to what you don't know, what's the value of everything you do? They say started to cry. So there's no difference between you and me because the mucker it channels that it channels the truth and when it channels the truth it loses its whole mitsas because even the mitsas of gil is isk. So what does this do to a person in life? What does that mean? Obviously, on our levels, I'm talking on on lower levels. Oh, so that's why I was saying the higher you go, the more BL there is. It's not like a person like the they had less BL because they knew so much. A regular guy wasn't so humble like he walks around. He says was of because because he saw much more. So you're much more honor. >> Yeah. That surrender different type of surrender. There's surrender the first level your mitism surrender. Yeah. So in life there's always a deep awareness. As much as I get I don't get it. As much as I'm a gala, I'm really a problem. Not that I'm a problem, I'm a problem. But as much as much as I get it and I'm channeling and this, I really don't get it. It's like a simple humility of an ish pushet that is comfortable in the fact that it doesn't know >> that doesn't bring you. >> Not only does it not bring you to the spear, it brings you to a deeper simka. You know why? You know why? Why you're making like this? You can get away with murder here. Say something. >> This doesn't get unrecorded. You're like this. I can also sit and make like this. Maybe I should. Right. >> I cannot fight it. >> He's He's feeling it. But I want to hear why he's feeling it. >> But his doesn't want to say. He doesn't want to do that. So I get >> interrupting. >> Huh? >> I want to go with interrupting. >> You're good with interrupting. Yeah. >> Huh? The reason there's more bliss is you know why? Because whenever you channel more truth, there's more bliss. Because it's channeling atmos because he's in touch with the MS. There's only there's the source of we've learned in the previous look at the which there's one source of that's where all comes from. The more the more ego death in the first level it's the highest form of ego. It's the ego of BL. When you let go of the ego of BL you merge with source. When you merge WITH SOURCE, YOU'RE CHANNELING everything of this tremendous bliss over there that is the biggest. It's like thank God when let go of the need to be it's kavaldic. I still have to say don't delegitimize the first level. You can't get to number two if you don't get to number one. >> Huh? >> Sense. >> Yeah. Yeah, if you have it naturally, you have it naturally. But to jump to number two without number one, it's em. >> Now here we have to emphasize one thing. Where do calem come in? What's kalem? Caleum is yesesh also also a major part of the plan. Calm is identity. Caleb is not the word kali is not an defies kay. Kali means container. I contain it. It's a measurement. There's an identity. There's a definition. Kali takes and channels it within a mold so to speak. That's what Kali is a vessel. >> Is it absolute though? The word Kelly is absolute because in a certain sense the first definition of here is kale. >> That's true. >> Isn't this? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All the words we use are just including including calem including including yesesh. That's where you could so get stuck. You can't take through kale. And that's why all the words of the and all the explanations are at best kale. It's all yesesh. It's not what the mime is. The energy of is an experiential energy of we need because yeah that's what we are. God made us that way. It's not a bad thing. But you have to know that. You have to recognize energetically the difference between and kale. It's not the same thing. We need some Isis and we need some Isis. We're not on your level at the moment. >> Start going into why you're you're tripping up in reasons and answers. You're tripping up. >> I didn't ask you why. I want you to describe what you were feeling, not why. I wasn't looking for logical mathematics. I didn't mean why as why like give me the logic. What is the experience? That's what I meant. Sorry for the word why. I'm just stuck in why why. So, pun intended. Yeah. Why y means even the why you have to ask why why like who says you need a why right that's what he's saying that's what I meant if you could share that with us but that's why I said when you see the words your heart should expand when we hear it means you're a nobody you're a I don't care about you the you're not even a screw in the building you know what I mean like you can go go you it's your it's for you it's not for us we don't need you that's what we we people hear that's why they shut down and love saying everybody like me alone I was enough in this world I came TO HEAR THAT I'M SO SUDDENLY ALL YOU COULD TELL ME is right people don't like that I get it that's because they're not hearing anything he's saying and it's not their fault it's not their fault they're putting it back into the old filing cabinet means you let go of the need of to make you a reality divorced from ultimate reality. You heard what I just said. You let go of the need of which is turning you into a reality that's divorced from the ultimate reality. So it's actually a painful reality. So the more and the more you collect the more the more the more you merge with source. So there's no deeper sa than that. You could feel it. You could feel it. Whenever a person has an ego death, the bliss is there. It's not was way. It was there. It's automatic. It's the only moments that people are blissful. I don't think I ever had a moment of bliss without that. I don't think so. I don't think you could. When you learn, you understand you can't. It's not. You can have fun. You can have nice things. You can have beautiful experience. No question. A person gives you $5 million and says, you know, go enjoy. Fine, you'll enjoy and it's a beautiful thing. I'm not I'm not trying to be matalate, but it's not this bliss. It's it's more yes. It's like I'll buy something else. I'll buy this. I'll have it's it's good. It may be nice and it's a good distraction. You go to a beautiful place and you eat great food and you drink great wine and you're the most stunning hotel of the world. That's not the bliss of of of of of this because the only real bliss is a letting go of the need to exist as a separate reality. So in the second level of it's actually experiencing something that's not experienced that's not experiencable and that moment that that's a much deeper bliss like we learned in mime last one you remember that all the tuk we know about is tanuk from something tuk from food tuk from music tuk from a beautiful body tuk from a beautiful idea tuk from a spiritual experience it's tinuk from something in the source it's tanug itself the more you go out of mitas of experience even of the experience of gil to the source it's a whole different frequency of tanuk so why are we talking about SO JUST SAY GOD DO WHATEVER YOU WANT BECAUSE THE KDISH OF IS THAT this is your experience it's not god's experience that's the key that's the answer to your second question that's why IT'S IN WHO SAY HASHEM DO WHATEVER YOU WANT YOU WANT TO GIVE ME EXPERIENCE. Give me You don't want like leave me alone. What? What? What? What do you What's all these pull them this bit? The answer is cuz he's not TALKING ABOUT HASHEM. HE'S TALKING ABOUT you is about you. It's about me. That's why is so important. >> Is the love note is that we can experience each other. IS THAT YOU'RE CAPABLE OF EVERYTHING. Is that all the truth of existence is you. Right back to what that poet said. You're not a drop in the ocean. You're the entire ocean in a drop. YOU'RE JUST A DROP, BUT you're the entire ocean. Really? Me? Yeah. You're looking for excitement in life, right? You're looking for bliss in life. You know where you have to look. Go to the mirror. Stop running around the whole world. Go to the mirror. It's all in you. That's what is saying is I I gave it to you. It was communicated to you. I'm not alone anymore. I'm not alone. is the ultimate statement of camaraderie, attachment, relationships. That's what is. I want to be attached to who? To you. The first step is a lot of steps after that, but that's the first step. Is the frequency of attachment. I think that's a good line. I don't know what it means, but it sounds good. Huh? >> It feels good. Is the frequency of the language of the language of attachment. >> What? >> Who are you? Yeah. Yeah. And this is the real of what it means to have a reba. What's the reba? A real I'm talking about a realb. It means that there's a place where you feel that everything you know is nothing. And that's so important in life. I can't even tell you. It is a very positive way. It means you're touching truth. We I we keep we have to keep on making these disclaimers. Huh? When you're in the presence of something and somebody that you feel that whatever you know, you don't know. You are a much richer person. You understand? Of course not. Sometimes I'm learning a Maya. I'm not comparing myself now to the second level because I'm still dealing with the first. But but I had some I have a herish. Sometimes I learn aut I'm like experiencing it as much as I could. I'm feeling it. Sometimes I'm crying when I'm learning it. and and I I feel like I at least I'm getting something of the energy alterb is teaching and it's a very very powerful moment and then there's even a more powerful moment and that is I look and I read something and I'm like I really don't get it. I can't explain but there's something much more powerful about that. Not I don't get it. I'm dumb. I'm stupid. I'm never going to get it. I'm an idiot. Right. Oh, I'm Oh, you're too abstract for me. Leave me alone. Like, let me just go on with life. I don't mean that. That's not the That's not That's not a very uh That's the ego uh dealing with its own despair. I'm never going to get it. I'm done. I'm I'm too stupid for this. That's That's the person that never started learning. >> Yeah. Also never gets it. >> This is almost like I'm in I'm in awe. It's an awe. I'm I'm so appreciating that I don't get it. It's like almost an appreciation even though I can't teach that. What am I going to teach? I'm going to sit down and say I can't teach it. Right. It's true. >> Beautiful. That's the only reason you're allowed to teach. If you have that that that's that's the VA that's the VAT. Exactly. Yeah. That's where the first and the second are not really a contradiction. It's not like it's not like the BL competes with each other. The second level of turns to the first level of and says, "Hey, I'm more bottle than you, you idiot." Ble doesn't work that way. The second one is what gives legitimacy to the first. You understand? The reason this is the ver you nailed it. The reason you could trust is because in a moment's notice can also tell you don't trust me. The only ones you could trust are those who can tell you don't trust me. Yeah. The vulnerability as as powerful as it is, it's much more vulnerable. That's really what it is. The second level is the vulnerability of The first is the glory of B and the second is the vulnerability of her. What what am I even doing? Ah oh that's good silence. Remember the we learned before the Reb says of art there and and he's soon going to see the he says what's the uniqueness of gives you an insight and then it tells you but there's much more that I'm not telling you not there's much more that I'm not telling you there's much more that's not being said that's what is it's a link to the unknown it's a link to the infinite that's why you could trust it there's much more that's not unknown And in life that's so important because sometimes you do years of work right and you think you got it and then more >> there's a yid here Rabbi Rabman Heler's machir not from Westchester from here my So he told me or he told me or somebody somebody told me one of Rabbi Heler is a raving crown of Helerita he comes from Switzerland and he learned in brisk for many years he's a big g a big and uh yeah real brisket and he became and it was a big shock to uh a lot of his teachers and friends because he was a success story. It's not like you know came to they gave him a little love with you know some free cougal on shabas you know what I mean some schnaps this okay why not you know you going to Thailand you need a chin so you go to kabat right but he was a real still he's a realisk so somebody told they asked him what u why uh like what was miss like you had a good life was successful family. It's very hush of a family also prominent family. Huh? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So he said something very very profound. He said like this that uh in his day he went to a lot of Israel. Went to a lot of Israel from the literature camp from the literatur big big Jews. And wherever he came he saw their greatness. He saw their lumbas. He saw their shamim. He saw their kusha. He saw their depth. He saw their sharpness. He saw it and and it impressed him. It impressed him and it inspired him and it also gave him like a goal like what to aspire to and it was very powerful and then he said he came to the Reba and he said garished I felt like nothing and that's I realized this is where I have to be. He said, "Nobody, no felt garnished in every anywhere else. I felt like I'm a mitz and there's a much bigger mitz that I could strive to and I could learn from it and it's beautiful." He said, "Here, I felt like I felt like nothing. I felt like everything I have is nothing." So, I realized this is where I have to be. Now this has to be very if it's not this is not said authentically it could be misconstrued and misunderstood and also not and not healthy but if you understand the Indian that's the that's the of the second level >> so this is so it's not huh >> no he he has he had an it's something you feel there's something here that with all the I can't can't so you could run away. I WHY SHOULD I STAY HERE? And tak a lot of people ran away for this reason cuz you want to be able to integrate. I want to be able to have a relationship with you in which you enrich me and it's a be and and it's there's a truth to that to be able to stay in the place and say this is where I'm going to stay because I feel the that you need a much deeper bot. >> A lot of people left. A lot of people left and also sometimes you know it could also be experienced in a way that if if a person is dealing with self-esteem issues it could be a deep killer you understand or if you deal with an ego you have to be a kay for this because if not it's not be but there's a certain of it's almost like are you ready to become dumb I don't know how to say it simply are you ready to become dumb Dumb. Are you ready to feel like a real dummy? I'm not a dummy. Okay. Yeah. Well, go be God. Maybe I'm dumb, but I'm not a dummy. Let's face it. >> Ready to see the real you? >> Yeah. Are you ready to see the real you? It's not so simple. But you can't just jump into level two. It starts with level one. It's not like, okay, I'm just a dummy. No, you're not just a dummy. Like you said, you're you're but also knows that this and it's fine. I stay here. What does it say in? Yeah. Have a son of better to be a tail of the lions than a leader of the foxes. That's the difference. You want to be a big fish in a small pond? Sorry. A big fish IN A SMALL POND OR A SMALL fish in a big pond? What's the answer? a big fish in a small pond, you're the manag, right? If you're a big fish in a if you're a small fish IN A BIG POND, WHO WANTS THAT? That's if you're looking to be A FISH IN A POND. But if you're looking for, of course, you should go to the big pond. That's where everything is. >> Fish in a small pond is about to out, >> huh? The big fish likes it in the small pond because he's going to outgrow the pond. And certainly when they write about the history of the pond, his name is going to be mentioned. The small fish in the BIG POND IS KASH. Who wants that? Now if you only if it's only level bays, it's not but the pinus, you said it well. The pinius of dar one is that it has dar 2 in it. And that's why you could trust it. You could trust it even with its brilliance and its wisdom and its information because it points always to something that I really don't know and I'm fine with that. It's you what say is the simplicity of a simple Jew is the simplicity of Hashem's essence. What does the simple Jew is not I'll tell you the truth. It's a simplicity. Y >> what does it mean that All my students I learned more because the student brings out in the teacher something very profound >> even more than the >> I should also say that sometimes when it's not taught in a proper way I'm just saying this because there's a lot of triggers in the things I'm saying here today for certain people who are hearing with it. If you have level two without level one, it can also be very damaging in the world. Yeah. The is seen as and there's could be a big big big trap in there because ah no responsibility. It's almost like I live vicariously through the sadic and he got he figured it out and yeah you're you're unbelievable and I'm nothing and I live through you AND I STAY STUCK in my in my ego and my insecurity and whatever it is in my nephahamus in MY AND IT'S GOOD BECAUSE OH YOU'RE GOING TO YOU'RE GOING TO WORK on yourself and NOW YOU'RE GONNA BECOME A BIG BIG BIG FAT arrogant because you think that you're you Then it it it becomes uh I'm saying this because I just know a little bit about this. It could become a very it it becomes a cynical not it becomes a cynical trap of the atahara. It's a very big one for those who know. It's a very big one and a lot of people are suffering from it. There's a there's an element of truth. It's beautiful. But I'm tell that's why you don't go to level two without one unless it's organic unless you're really there because it's a could be a big it's like almost saying I'm not going to wake up in the morning ANYMORE SAYS WHY SHOULD I wake up in THE MORNING I'M LYING I'M LYING RELATIVE TO ATMUS I'M A LIE LET ME QUIT I'M DONE KILL ME WHOA WHOA whoa whoa this is the clipper that just hijacked you what you have a what do you mean ver that's not bit that's yeseshas you know when you start being matal B. That's not B. That's Yesh. IT'S NOTHING. YOU'RE WORTHLESS. You're really really you don't understand anything. Even your gillu, even your gillu is clipper. What does that do? You wake up in the morning, you're learning more. You're ding more. Or you just say knows what he's doing. Thank you. Is you, not the you. This is where you have to be very very careful. Everything in Kadusha has a everything besides atmos have a unic everything your tus what I'm saying this is very important I grew up in some places I saw this was the conversation and like always there's there's a nit there like you know you're going to start comparing yourself and it's like almost like avoid yeses like if you work on yourself. Oh, so what are you not GOING TO BECOME? YOU'RE GOING TO become just be yourself. And what does that bring? You're more refined. You're channeling more light. And where do you see when somebody starts challenging your ego? There's people very very bottle so to speak. They talk about the or other and then you challenge something in their there's a a dispute a territorial dispute a financial issue a business dispute or this and suddenly the ohans I'm not judging I mean we all have egos I'm not judging anybody I'm just saying we all have to be aware of these things you know until my title you change then I'm very then kill you all in the name of God. This is where it's just it's it's a fake. It's fake and it's a farce. It's not real. It's just fake. It's using holiness for for for dysfunctional trauma. Yeah. I'm just saying this. I don't mean I know this is not the of the we're talking but you have to say this because the nephah could creep into anything. Whoever understands understands. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you're better off. You're having a good time over there. I see. You're waiting for this to be said. Yeah. >> Why you suffered from this? >> I know. I know very well. Yeah. This is something I could say. I know I maybe don't, but some of it I know. It's a very very powerful thing because this is where BL becomes a horrible thing. >> Ignorance is not >> it's ignorance but it feeds into a terrible arrogance and I'm really I'm not even saying in a judgmental way because it's there's an innocence there. I know it there's an innocence there. There's a BL there but it's not worked through. And when ble is not worked through, it becomes damaging. You understand? And the reason the ble is not worked through is because people are not aware of their separateness. I'm going to go back to what I said. When you don't know about eucalypus, your b is not real. So maybe in a great day or other times, he feels a higher energy and he's floating high. But when you land, it's like when you're graded with your wife, it's amazing. And then when you get into your first fight, it's horrible because there's no mechanism of dealing with rupture. There's only mechanism of dealing with oneness, not with rupture. You need a mechanism to deal with rupture. You have to know I have a and what happens often is that my b it's not worked through. What does it mean? It's not worked through. I'm not genuinely authentically embodying what it means to be a real channel working through all my insecurities and all my defense mechanisms and just blaming just living through somebody else. You remain detached. Okay. I don't think I could say much more about this. Whatever you got, you got. Also, the Reb accounted this long before it's became what you're referring to because you're so focused on how much a person can achieve and how much they can have an influence and how much has more to do. >> Of course, people came. >> Of course, it's a distortion of the Reb. The greatest secret of the Reba is that the Reba wasn't a Mitsus. It's the greatest distortion of the Reb. The Reb's home at Casus was to be a channel and that's why he wanted everybody to be as powerful as possible and the more the Reb did that the more he became big so the more I don't have to do anything you know what I mean or even if I have to do something but all I have to do is talk about a particular reality or particular person without doing my inner work and when you don't do your inner work there's a part of you that's really disassociated it and I could just reason I'm saying all of this is for my own experience internally and some people I'm close with but really every person has their own journey I have to with humility as much as I know I also don't know as we're talking about so with humility we also have to respect you know everybody has a journey and everybody has their and every every person is probably trying to do the best they can with the tools they have and ultimately the light is going to emerge from everybody's soul We're sure about that. Okay. So, now you know there's still a third level of BL. I hope you didn't forget. I hope you didn't get too comfortable with the two levels of BL. Now, you would think villa what do what do you have to go number three? One is not enough. Two is not enough. Yeah. So, let's do one more paragraph today. This is the third level and here it's going to be a teaching of the BMT quoting the BMT because this really captures the nud of the BMT. Now as usual when you go to the third level you can't be mat the first two levels it's all there's one there's two and then three is is is there's a deeper in what is this you already have the first level is the of the second level is the of the first is a of the second level is like quitting like water really is. YOU THINK YOU THINK I'M TELLING YOU SOMETHING? WAIT TILL YOU MEET WAIT, wait till you meet the Mishak. Wait till you meet not me and not what I'm channeling. Not me. You're not never meeting me. You're meeting what I'm channeling. Wait till you meet where I got it from. The third level is where the two become one. The mits and the become one. I'll put it in different words. started to say it yesterday, but when you send a there's three in there sending a here's your job. Go do it. And he goes and he does it. He takes the envelope and he brings it to the right address and he delivers it. So that way there's now a connection between the one who sent me with the envelope and the one who had to get the envelope. And I was just a messenger. I'm not the guy. I just brought the mail. Here's your envelope. Read it and you know what to do. That's the first thing in that's why is he doesn't take the letter. He doesn't say it's mine. He doesn't own it. He doesn't make a profit. He doesn't make a commission. I'm a messenger. I'm a delivery boy in the most glorified sense of the most beautiful sense of the term. That's I'm a channel a pipe. Literally. Yeah. So that's the going to do. The second is as much as he's focused on his he's also focused on the one who sent him the as much as I'm channeling here right he doesn't forget who sent him he doesn't forget who sent him he HAS TO DO HIS JOB BUT HE DOESN'T FORGET who sent him and the one who sent him is infinitely more than what could be sent and he points to that and that's where there's a deep ble because my whole mitas is the mu of the third level is he goes back to the mash he goes back he was sent and he goes back to the mash and the two become one but goes back doesn't mean he goes back and he's gone cuz then you didn't have to send him. Goes back means it's the same level of unity like before he was sent. Let's see. Says like this even the B of by feeling the muker the second level it's not complete oneness. It's not complete B. It's not complete alignment. The key is very powerful. The because since the light and the source of the light are for two things there's the and there's the and you sent me out of the source. I'm not anymore in the I'm out. So even though he feels his source, he's feeling something outside of him, higher than him, which doesn't touch his core. I still have that was sent to do my outside of the mucker. He's feeling something that's completely beyond him and it creates a in his but it's coming from something outside of him. So the through this feeling is in the of the in the expansion in the revelation of the but not in his core in his core he still remains who he is it doesn't take that AWAY IT'S TRUE LEGAB THE mockery I would like to quit there if I'm going to be quiet my espas is going to be very limited I'm not really going to be silent but in the etsim who he is you're in back to the ms with the candle right the candle is walking around in the middle of the day like look at me look at me look and they're like relative to the sun you're really not contributing anything okay so what does the candle do the candle realizes you know just be quiet but the candle doesn't cease to exist as a candle at night I'm going to be very big the candle goes to his private court and he stays there in his he remains what he is he feels something that's higher than him the but ultimately because it's something OUTSIDE OF HIM. IT'S NOT A BIT in his etim. It's he is it's a bit in histo. There's a silence. There's a humility. But he remains he. Huh. Let's see what it is. And then but really the relationship could be much deeper. The relationship can be where we really are one. What is that? This is the yearning to be subsumed in the source. Since this desire is touches your core essence, this is the yearning that comes from your core. Said on the it says as follows. It says Hashem is sitting on the throne. He sees Hashem sitting on the throne. Theim the angels ARE STANDING ABOVE HIM. ABOVE WHO? Hashem really above God. What's that supposed to mean? Because they have a desire to be subsumed in in in parenthesis. He says they're actually there because this is their desire. They're there. It's like they're there. Said where your desire is, that is where you are. And more than that, that is where you are completely. So by the desire to be subsumed in the source, you are subsumed in the source. He says in parenthesis, it's like you're subsumed because really you're but it's LIKE YOU'RE SUBSUMED. YOU ARE subsumed the yearning to go to the source. This is complete oneness. complete B similar to the B of when it's still IN THE SOURCE BEFORE IT NEVER left when THE RAY IS INSIDE THE SOLAR COURT NEVER LEFT IT'S THE SAME EVEN WHEN YOU left that's the that's the that's the deeper of it said they're standing above him because since this is their yearning this is their desire where you want to be that's where you are. What's the the is you're not there. If I'm there, I'm there. Is saying you're not there. But since this is your because if it's your true authentic desire, that is your essence. So if I want to be there, the fact that I want that is the reality deeper than the reality where I am in the moment. >> And that's why you that's why you're going to get there. And that's how you're actually going to get there if you want. >> One second. One second. Huh? >> Irrelevant to phase one or phase two. >> No, it's not irrelevant. This comes after after phase one and two this touches the etimas of and this is the vid has a quality and that is it always tells itself I don't belong here. You know where I belong? Where do I belong? I belong in the source. I don't belong here. I'm here because Hashem wants me here and I'm going to be here. I'm staying here, but I don't belong here. This is not my organic space of comfort. I never become comfortable here. This is the source of anxiety. But this is the holy this is where the anxiety is transformed. Yeah, somebody told me yesterday or two days ago that his whole life he suffered from anxiety and depression and he heard a podcast by Rabbi Joey Rosenfeld, my dear friend, Rabbi Joey Rosenfeld, who quoted the the Mishna says in you don't reveal secrets of only to somebody who has anxiety. His heart is worried has anxiety. So the says fascinating that you see that the experience of is much more absorbed by somebody who has by somebody who's suffering from a certain melancholy and I think one of the ideas here is because the world is not working for you. You never become completely comfortable in the world. So you're a kayali to see the pineimus. You're a kayali to break through the facade. All anxiety. We're speaking about healing trend healing darkness. How do you really heal anxiety? You don't heal anxiety by only telling yourself life is good. You have so many blessings. You have food on the table. You have a house. You have blessing one, TWO, THREE. JUST BE GRATEFUL. You ever told that to somebody with anxiety? It's good, but it doesn't work. Not that it's not it's important to focus on your blessings and be grateful but the anxiety somehow knows about all your blessings. The healing of anxiety is bringing it back to the source. The source of anxiety is the yearning. I want to be in the source. That's my place. I was sent on a but THIS IS NOT REALLY MY PLACE. I'm on a mission. My more natural organic place is to be inside of you non-existent. And the disconnect is painful and I want to undo THE DISCONNECT EVEN THOUGH I'M NEVER DISCONNECTED. Of course I'm NOT DISCONNECTED BUT LE I AM DISCONNECTED. YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE I HAVE A MISSION TO BRING LIGHT WHERE IT'S NOT. THAT'S THE MISSION OF LIGHT or to put it in wants to be revealed. So I'm doing it. But there's an anxiety. This is the real anxiety. This is where anxiety gets healed because this anxiety, there's a healing for it. You know what the healing for it is? Yeah. Huh? Learn. Or to put it simple serving God. There's a healing for it. You the soul the soul doesn't want to be disconnected. I don't belong here. This is this is this is the of because this means you're there. You're there. BUT YOU'RE THERE MORE THAN YOU'RE HERE. WHERE your desire is, that's where you are and that's where you are fully, you know, by the everything had to be in. So in 24 he says you have it in what's the what's fascinating. Yeah, it's shabas. You want to walk 4,000 outside of the city, you're like 8,000 feet. You can't. You're only allowed to walk 2,000. Shabas. So what do you do? So if you go to before Shabas 2,000 ft and you stay there Friday night, so that's your place of Shabas, you can walk. BUT WHAT IF YOU WANT TO BE HOME FRIDAY NIGHT WITH YOUR FAMILY, but you have a sham outside of the city, right? It's a bungalow colony 8,000 ft. So what do you do? You know what you do? You take food and you put it in that place. Let's say in the forest or in the park. It has to be protected. You put it in that place and you're home. and shabas it's considered that you're that place where your food is because I have a meal waiting there. So even though I'm home it's like I was there Friday night when Shabas came in. So tomorrow I could walk to there and from there I could walk myas why I'm not there my food is there. So the says in yeah people's hearts are where their food is. So their heart is where their food is and if YOUR MINDSET IS THERE THAT'S YOUR PLACE PHYSICALLY. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT THERE? SO THIS is the brought to the from the that where your das is it's considered YOU'RE PHYSICALLY THERE MORE THAN IN YOUR HOUSE ONCE MY BODY IS IN MY HOUSE MY FOOD IS there and where where does say I am over there not here who give me a break so here you see that you're there more that's what he says you're there more than here >> because has the the yearning. This is not my place. So it's like you're in the muker even when you're not in the mucker. And here the two the two the first levels become one. The and the become one. The first is I'm have a I'm doing my job. What's my job? That's my job. It's my job. Don't take it away in a beautiful way. The second is what feels I'm not doing my job. My job is a job. Whatever I'm doing, I'm not really communicating the source. So there's a humility. But one second that doesn't affect the itself. Theid itself is still and is a mitas. It's a of it's just recognizing that there's something completely outside of me that blows me away. And that I need to be humble. But in my own little orbit, I'm I am I. In the third level, the I and the you merge into ONE BECAUSE I AM OUTSIDE AND DOING MY JOB, BUT I'M YEARNING to be in you. And of course, that makes me allow me to do my job much better because I always remain ble because I know what's my real place. That's this that's the that's where you are. So now it's like he's in the moy that's what I said it's like the going back to the and completely there even when he's on even when he's on his like that's what he says at the end it's like the when the was in the before there was no SEPARATION IS THE WHOLE WAS IT WAS THAT IN THERE'S ALSO EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE OUTSIDE YOU ALWAYS REMAIN INSIDE YOU NEVER LEFT YOU'RE ATMOS the herist that's hey you're not quitting your job you're you're the whole Giloy but this is this is the mo of yeah I'll give you an example everyone said I put a gald and I and I just it popped in that it's connected the end of the migilla let's put him to cafe the end of the migill a year later put him to kaf 1965 That was the end of the migill. It says so in the last the migillah says he was liked by most Jews. Is that a way to end the migillah? Right. It's like you call you call you know a rashiva for a for your daughter and the rasha says most bakim like him. Red flag red flag red flag alarm. Most bakim like him. Yeah. Most girls get along with her. Okay? You know, be careful. Really at let's say it's true some people didn't like Mardekai. You really have to say it at the last pos of the migillah. Really? Like the guy just saved the whole like he saved the whole Jewish world for eternity. We're here all because Mardai he inspired Esther. HE SENT ESTHER THE LAST PERSON. BY THE WAY, MOST GUYS LIKED THEM. And you know what? Whoever didn't like him, let them jump into the Hudson River. I mean, we have to they become the end of the migill. Good question. No. So Rashi says the san that some of the left why because he was but from he went into politics he became the prime minister used to be he was the head of the and now he went into politics so they they separated from most of his felt he was right but some of them separated from him. So asked a question zine that has to be the last p of the migilla again it's true some people didn't agree with them like like it's almost like you have to like stick it in like >> huh >> yeah it doesn't have to rain on the prey day like you just finished the story like give him five minutes of of of gratitude and then we'll have kindness to him tomorrow I want to show you how the used to think the said unbelievable it's really it's The third level he said this tells you who was not talking about the people who didn't like him. It tells you who he was. You know why? Because there was a part of him that agreed with them. It wasn't they didn't like him. He understood them as much as he understood the others. What does it mean? Every day asked himself a question. Why in the world am I in the palace? It's not my place. They have a point. I I I belong in the bdish. I belong in the I don't belong there. What they were saying is something he was STRUGGLING WITH. HE DECIDED THAT IT WAS THE RIGHT THING THAT HASHEM WANTED HIM IN POLITICS. HE wanted him IN THE PALACE WITH HE WANTED HIM TO PROTECT HIS PEOPLE. HE WANTED HIM OUT OF THE BISH. BUT HE STRUGGLED WITH IT EVERY DAY. HE WALKED IN THERE and he SAID, "THIS IS NOT WHO I AM. IT'S NOT MY PLACE. IT'S NOT MY IDENTITY. IT DOESN'T INTEREST ME. I COULDN'T CARE LESS TO HAVE MY PICTURE ON THE FRONT PAGE of the New York Times or CNN or in Shushan Times. I COULDN'T CARE LESS. IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING TO ME THAT I HAVE 25 million followers in and everybody thinks I'm most brilliant strategist. IT'S NOT WHO I AM. NOTHING DOESN'T ADD ANYTHING. SO WHY ARE you there? Hashem sent me was something THAT WAS DEFINING HIS IDENTITY in the most beautiful way. What does that mean practically? The moment he came home from the palace, what do you think he did? He opened up a he opened up a he opened up a Tanya. He opened up a Mishnay. HE WENT BACK. THE FISH IS IN WATER. HE WAS TAKEN OUT OF WATER for a couple of hours because he has a mission. OKAY. BUT THE MOMENT HE WAS BACK IN THE WATER, HE was back in the water. So even when he WAS IN THE PALACE, WHERE WAS HE? He was in the Gur. But Mak even when he was there by a staff board meeting with a drunken alcoholics, a bunch of Persian alcoholics, you know, dealing with the Iranians. We can see what dealing with the Iranians is like, right? Even Trump is losing it, right? He doesn't realize what type of maf, right? The Jews know this already for a couple of thousand years because we dealt with, right? Trump thought with his charisma and brilliance and toughness and strength, he's going to bring the Iranian to the knees. Go bring the to the knees. So, it's a right like you say, right? You know what? SO IS THERE A WHOLE DAY HE'S there but where is he? Where is he? He's in the moy. So why are you there? So why are you here? He's not a miserable person because I'm what makes him a what makes HIM A IS THAT HE KNOWS THIS IS NOT WHO I AM. I DON'T NEED THIS FOR MY VALIDATION. I'M NOT INTERESTED IN CELEBRITY SHUSHAN STATUS. I'M NOT CARE for it. It doesn't add a THING TO ME. I'M NOT IT'S NOT MY PLACE. Now it doesn't mean he was a miserable. He wasn't a miserable person. And he was doing it cuz he was bottled TO HASHEM. BUT BECAUSE he knew who he was, he never lost touch with that. So when he was in the palace, he wasn't selling his soul and his mother and his god to to plate the anti-semites cuz he always knew who he was. He didn't need it. When you need the palace cuz you know I need you. I need to rub shoulders with so then you sell half of your religion. A lot of people they go into public service, you don't recognize them a few years later. They're in the work of a huh? Why? >> Why? Why? >> You don't recognize them because it's you get a little tainted or a lot tainted. Power, influence, affluence, money, the world needs you. You know, look, if you know about the Israeli politic, it's it's a it's a it's it's a it's a it's not a clean world. So do you stay home and not do anything? No. Most people said you have and you do it with but I'm doing it knowing who I am. So even WHEN I'M THERE, I'M STILL THE SAME. I'M IN THE I NEVER LEFT THE WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DID LEAVE? YOU'RE IN A DARK WORLD BRINGING LIGHT THERE. NO, that's that's that's that's here. You're completely here. spirit in your in the second level there's a there's a humility wow something beyond me something beyond me and it's a it's a in yourpas but your but in your own little mitz don't that's who I am this b if the core of is now nullified without being nullified what's this what does it What's this thing in a in practical life? The first thing is being a channel. The second thing is knowing you don't get it and having that humility. And the third thing is actually understanding who you really are. The third thing is not the third thing is not saying I don't get it. That's true. I don't get it. The third thing is actually saying you know why I have anxiety here? You know why I have discontentment? Because I miss Hashem. Let me tell you this, my dearest friends. The healing of all the anxiety of our generation is coming when we start experiencing the core of the anxiety. What is the core of the anxiety? I'm homesick. I'm really homesick. You say, "Not we. We're a bunch of gabyong and we like pizza, French fries, right? >> Sushi is sushi. I wasn't being so healthy today. But you want sushi sushi. It's milik. So the nine days we have to stick with the milk. Okay. I'm not I'm not I'm not now I want and make sure that the steak is not well done. It's a little rear, right? But the truth is it's not the case. The reason we're so into the steak being like this or like this is because we think that's going to help our anxiety. It's really you're not yearning for the steak like this or like this. You're homesick for the divine for that's the truth. I I lost that vocabulary cuz it was not cultivated inside. I don't know that because when I was young the way I dealt with pain was give me lollipop, give me a cotton candy, take me to Six Flags, give me a can of Coke, give me an ISIS. and for five minutes the ISIS placated my pain. So now I'm 54 years old. I'M STILL LOOKING FOR ISIS. That's how it is. We have to understand that and appreciate that. That's part of of of the job. But the healing of all anxiety is realizing of course you're anxious. You know what? You left. You left. Of course you're anxious. You want to be in the maker. You don't want the detachment even a bit. You don't want to be here. Now, you don't want to be here because you're a depressed, wretched soul. You don't want to be here BECAUSE YOU'RE A SAFE MAMISH. That's who you really are. That is who you are. Of course, I'm feeling pain. I have I miss Hashem. I miss Hashem. >> Now, just to admit that is not easy because we have so much anger pent up and so much pain. To acknowledge that you miss somebody is a very vulnerable place. It's a very tender tender place. But that's the truth. The first symptom is that you miss it. Especially when you're disconnected. Now you're not disconnected, but in the place of experiencing disconnection, that is what I miss. Now you'll say that's not true. I'm not missing Hashem. I'm anxious because maybe my relationships, my family, my money, my psychology, this one caused me pain. That one causes me pain. I don't like myself. I hate myself. I like myself too much. That's what I'm anxious about. I'm self-conscious. It's my to-do list. I need A HOUSE. WHATEVER. EVERYBODY'S anxious for their things. I'm feeling guilty. I'm ashamed. I did a terrible thing two days ago. I play whatever it is. That's what I'm anxious about. I know that. We're not taking away from that. But if you go deeper, deeper, deeper, the anxiety is one thing. The separateness. That's what it really really is. Just knowing that is the most healing experience. You know why? Because the moment you know what your real rats is, that's where you are. Just experiencing that knowing that what your real is that's more real than anything else you say about yourself. It's the most liberating moment when you could say this is what I really really want. This is what I'm looking for. This is what I'm missing. This is my pain. That's what he's saying. To identify what your pain is, what your desire is, what you're looking for, that's that's who you are. That's who you are. You know, show me what you're pained by most and I'll tell you, show you who you are. Tell me what you're missing. What are you desiring? That's who YOU ARE. THAT'S NOT WHO I AM. LOOK AT ME. I'M A THIS, I'M A THAT. That's who you really are. And as long as we think that all we're looking for is to alleviate the pain from this, the pain from that, the pain from that, we mistake ourselves as being lowly people. The moment you start seeing the truth that what you're really looking for is you push it miss hashem the wants to be in the moyer the soul wants to be in its source without any any separation whatsoever which is aish for us because our whole life we don't know this nobody says this to us we don't feel it it's not what I'm looking for I'm looking for a danish I'm looking for a nice car I'm looking for a watch I'm looking for a suit I'm looking for what to do for summer vacation so even to be able to start scratching the surface of reality which often requires removing so many blockages but just identifying that and even though you're not there he says you're there this is a this is this was a such a sensitive v of the bump you have to understand the bump is saying when you identify the source of the anxiety the source of the pain what you're really looking for you're there that is the most that's the breakthrough of life you know why cuz then your whole life is going to change already. You're going to realize what are you playing games for? That's the only thing you care for. If it's the only thing you care for, so just stay there. What do you have to run a whole day? But but to experience this as your sham even more than here, I'm there. And that's the third of that's the third from old days, right? Tish is the most depressing. Everybody's like people the one day everybody has a head to to watch movies is tishov, right? Because you're anyway miserable and it's miserable and it's summer and it's long. So it's like it's right >> if we only had gimmel >> we only had this we just said >> oh you mean this this >> what's the deno deno >> I should learn from you how to give a shir six words boom figure it out that's what deno means righto Oh. >> Huh. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Let me say the war on mala mimal not >> Oh, because why mimal? Because the the the the sitting on the kay is the way is in is in some form of kali and because they want to bel in the source. So it's even higher. But how could that be? Because that's where they're in. Yeah. Of course. Of course. We wouldn't miss God. If if we didn't come from there, we wouldn't miss it. We come from there now. We're always there. We never really left. This is all in our experiential perception. Atmos didn't leave. It's not like the when he says, it doesn't mean it's outside of the MK. It's not like the sun. The sun is the sun and the light travels and it's separate. He's just using that language because experientially that's what it is. Experientially I'm separate. It's it's it's it's deep deep avoid to be able to know my roti. Now you could see in a why this is a much deeper ble than the second level. You see why in the second level it's true when the is sitting by the he won't say a word but when he's downstairs now I'm in my element. When the candle is in middle of the day, in middle of when the candle is outside the middle of the day, the candle is not going to walk around extoalling its greatness, it's going to go into a hiding place and be quiet, you know? But by the candle becomes the candle becomes the the winner of the game, right? The candle is everything. You don't use the sun. He becomes a mucus when when is channeling and talking to you about the mucker of ad is like I really have nothing to say right it has that that deep you humble bit but in its own element it's it it doesn't take away from that that's my job yeah I can be mgala more but what I'm saying is I'm saying you you're who >> it doesn't negate who I am in my little core. True. IN THE PRESENCE OF NO, I'M NOT GOING TO SAY A WORD. I'm just going to be quiet. Yeah, you're right. I'm not going to It's affects myas but not my mitsas. In the third, it's the etits of because that's what it's yearning for. And what you're yearning for, that's who you are. That's deeper than any other definition of self. That's the the deepest definition of self is the pain that you're experiencing because of a ruten that is not being met. That's that's you. He gave me permission to say it in his name. So I'll say it in his name. We have lamb. He's a marriage therapist. He comes to a lot of the sh. So he once told me so he learns a lot ofus and he told me once that uh and it was such a beautiful definition I asked him permission to say it in his name that's why I'm saying he said that when you start experiencing what you realize is the only real definition of self that exists is that I'm in pain because I'm separate from Hashem. That's the only definition of self that is real. Every other definition of self is a counterfeit definition that will plots. The only definition of self of real self is the self that is feeling pain because it's detached from the source. That's the only definition because we don't want to sit with that pain. We create new definitions. I'm a guy. I'm brilliant. I'm an amazing tycoon. I'm a therapist. I'm a rabbi. I'm a lawyer. I'm a doctor. I'm a this. I'm a that. I'm an amazing father. I'm an amazing husband. I'm an incredible fellow. Whatever it is, those are all substitute fake definitions. The only real definition, the only reality is ain't. And the only real definition of self is what? That I'm pained that I'm not an that's the and that's that's that that's the real self. And because that's the real self, it means that you're in the source. You're not disconnected. The moment you recognize that you're not disconnected. >> Amen. the right reasons. >> You're in pain for the right reasons. And it means it means you're in touch with reality. And if you're in touch with reality, you're in reality. And if you're in reality, you're already good. I'm telling you, probably I would say I'm just from experience. I think probably one of the most liberating experiences in life, maybe the most liberating, I I can't say that because I don't know is when the person can experientially feel that the source of all their pain is that I'm homesick for atmos. I don't know if there's a more liberating moment than that. You know why? Because it redefineses everything. It's bitham. It doesn't leave any part unspoken. That's the difference of two and three. In level two, it's the source inspiring the BL. In level three, there's no part of you that's not part of the BL because even the ugly dark skeletons, demons, ghosts, mistakes, sins, transgressions, they're all part of the BL now. They're all making me sick that I'm separate. So, they're all they're all there. They're all in in the oneness. Now, that's why no part what does Araf sing? No Jew will be left behind. Yeah. No Jew will be left behind. In the third, NO PART IS LEFT BEHIND. NO PART OF YOU. You say, did you know what I did yesterday? You know what happened last year, 5 years ago, 10 YEARS AGO? YEAH, THAT'S WHY YOU'RE HOMESICK. Of course, that's why you're homesick. You know why you feel sick? You feel sick? Cuz you don't belong here. Because you don't belong there. You know, and you know that. And you're you're craving to go home. You're craving it. Of course. SO, EVERY PART OF YOU IS now part of it. It's all part of that experience. because it's in your every part of you is in this B and even though it translates as pain this is cracking the code of anxiety I know not in words because anxiety is much more powerful than words but experientially this is it this is certainly you know people don't realize the bump the alterb the everything that people experience They experienced they knew what anx people think you read there's no anxiety in the myra it's a mistake they just crack the code that's it like we learned in parish yeah is not doesn't have tas he has the biggest t THE BIGGEST HE JUST KNOW WHAT HE KNOWS WHAT he's looking for and where he's looking for it that's it he's also a balty So it says brings they just KNOW WHAT THEY'RE THEY KNOW WHAT THEY'RE LOOKING FOR. This is cracking the code of anxiety. The bos knew everything about anxiety. His resume was a resume that should have created tremendous anxiety. He was orphaned. He was thrown out of every issue thrown out of every home. He was had to grow up in the forest because he was an unwanted boy. Right? He's the classic kid who should have been, you know, the ultimate victim of brokenness and and and and and and terrible terrible wounds. But he he cracked the code in the forests. He felt the energy. He got he got he understood he experienced mira again. What the whole what what mob of Ramu were teaching that was forgotten for so many years by so many people. >> Wilderness camp. >> Wilderness camp but his own. He was that counselor. He was this and he used to say he likes the forest cuz it's not tame. It's not contaminated with people's thoughts. It's it's nature. It's God's it's God it's God's park. You know there's no all the mishagasan of people all their traumas. So he he he it's this is cracking the code of anxiety. And that's what heals things. What when you really heal it is when you see what it really is. Show me your true colors. So when anxiety sets in, what do I really want? What am I anxious about? The car broke down. Yeah, it's not comfortable. Refrigerator is not working. Okay. All the food is ruined. It's not comfortable. I'm not saying anything is gone. Cleaning lady didn't show up. I get it. My hand is hurts. I get it. And yeah, we live in the world of where you have to take care of these things. You need a cleaning lady. You need to fix the refrigerator. You need to fix your car and go get whatever you need for your finger and your hand. And everything should be healthy. That is a responsibility in life. But what's the anxiety? What's the anxiety? Why am I giving up? Why am I despondent? Why am I going into despair? Why am I completely frazzled that I'm not ready to address but this is what I want to address. And that that back to what you quoted rabbi I saw from Rabbi Joey Rosen that the says that could be absorbed by people who have a certain level of he wasn't trying to depression. What he was saying is that you're actually getting close to something. You're actually getting close to something. A person who's walking around happy golucky we forgive him. Everybody should be happy golucky. But it's sometimes harder to say you're really looking for something because it works for me. You know, when life works for you, in many ways, you're cursed. I don't mean to say that uh lightly, but you know what I mean. When everything is perfect, you could be so stuck in your egg, right? What's the greatest gift? When life starts cracking you open, when your marriage cracks you open, when your kids crack you open, when when God cracks you? When life cracks you open, you get cracked open. The egg can actually experience. This is the This is the kay for everything. And in the healing comes the ultimate unification of everything. Wow. Okay. >> Tomorrow morning there's a shir. >> Hashem should help. We should be able to finish. Give me a bra that we should be able to finish the ma beforeh. >> Not just not just the words but the experience. This goes like huh sneak preview. He goes in explaining how this is the whole structure of the spherus. These three levels kesserma bino kaleim beyond caim completely beyond calem. Then he goes and what is these three sorry based on amuna that's the three levels in avoid because everything has is an avoid what what it means in life based on am that's the first level am pure amunish the third level what really mira means from from Here he goes to show how really since it's all so all the three all the three are integrated and really all based on one it's one that's expressed in three different ways based on all this he comes back to show why chose this theme on tishov because this is the nud of understanding how not will won't defeat the darkness but will heal the darkness will transform the darkness which which is what the gula is to be able to bring a healing in the darkness itself cuz only when you appreciate all this about and then you APPLY IT TO YOUR LIFE DO YOU CRACK the code of the darkness and he finishes off and that's that's the gula that's the that's the reality of gula so there's still uh going to be some gymnastics don't get too comfortable in your present exercise some more stretching to So I'll see you tomorrow. Bashem 8:00 bleeder Thursday morning. Everybody have an amazing day. Whether you're going to be in the first frequency of ayen, the second frequency of ion, or the third frequency of ayen, doesn't matter so much, but just stay in the frequency of ayen. If you want to stay in the first level or said a few minutes ago, you're still looking for ISIS. >> Yeah. Yeah. Actually, I'm not. I was I was I was I actually actually not at the moment it's not tempting maybe in a couple hours >> but says you're allowed to you're allowed to you just want to we're all homesick >> do you realize that every is just a metaphor for being homesick we just don't know it's true you're looking for a compliment I'm looking for validation I'm just homesick for God I just think that if you tell me something nice about I'm going to be more divine. It's It's never And then I'm not. So I look for the next one. >> You got it. >> It was too much for you. >> Okay. Listen, when it comes to if one drop goes in, if one tipper goes in, it's if one tipper goes in, one tipper, it could be even that is even if you want to do Caleb is one tipper goes in is if two if two drops go in, it's already uh it's already interesting. And if three drops go in, then it's already a home run. >> Oh, okay. We'll continue tomorrow. Have to cover some ground. This class is brought to you by the yeshiva.net. Please help us continue the classes. Make even a small contribution at ww.the the yeshiva.net/donate.