Four People Confronted by their Moment of Truth - By Rabbi YY Jacobson

The Yeshiva.net Today, we are not going to uh explore a parsha, a sedra, an aliya, a story, a halacha, not even one pasuk, not even a uh part of a pasuk, not even a word of a pasuk, and not even a letter of a pasuk. Rather, we're going to explore a uh musical note on one word. So, we're not discussing the word, the sentence, the verse, the parsha, the musical note. Everybody knows that when we read the Torah, kriat hatorah is always done with trop, what's called ta'amei hamikra, with a musical melody that accompanies every single word that is read, which is what makes it challenging to be a ba'al koreh, because you don't have the musical notes in the sefer Torah, and it all has to be memorized. The relationship between the music, the note, and each word, few people understand. There are general rules according to the laws of dikduk, of Hebrew grammar, of lashon hakodesh dikduk grammar, which notes suit different words in which parts of the verses. But they bring in the name of the Vilna Gaon a fascinating insight. The Vilna Gaon said that even if we wouldn't have the text of the Torah, all we would have are the musical notes, theoretically, you would be able to reconstruct the entire text from the music. In other words, if all we had was this, whatever it may be, from those notes, if you would understand the full depth of each note, of each trop, you can reconstruct the text. One such note is extremely rare in the Torah. It's found seven times in the whole of Tanakh and four times in the whole of Chumash, chamisha chumchei Torah. Most notes are extremely common. They're read frequently. But whenever you have a a note that used only four times in the whole Chumash, it's quite obvious that it needs special reflection. In the entire chamisha chumchei Torah, no more than four times. Why? This note is called shalsheles. And the first time it appears is in parshas Vayeira. The second time, Chayei Sarah. The third time, Vayeishev. And the fourth time, Tzav. And that's it. The shalsheles is a unique note both in terms of its sound and in terms of its shape. If you'll take a look, the first note on top of the In this source sheet, the first I don't know if it's a source, but the first image on top of the page, you see shalsheles, and you have there this zigzag uh lightening image which the shalsheles portrays, which is which portrays the shalsheles. What does the shalsheles sound like? The shalsheles goes like this. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da And then some people even add, da da da da da da da da What does it represent? What does it mean? If you hear somebody saying a word with this musical note, what is the music of the shalsheles trying to convey? It was one of the earliest commentators on Chumash, unknown, but very ancient, Rabbi Yosef ibn Caspi. Rabbi Yosef ibn Caspi lived at the end of the 1200s and in the early 1300s. This is the era of the Rishonim. He was born in France and lived much of his life where he passed away in Spain. Ibn Caspi's sefarim are not known, but he wrote close to 30 sefarim, 30 books, each one quite original. And he points out in his commentary on Vayeira, Ibn Caspi, that the shalsheles is the note that represents uncertainty. A person is somewhat paralyzed. A person is in a state of stagnation, stuck. When, in other words, sometimes you have a situation in life, a human being is being pulled in different directions. It's not easy for me, adaink. It's not easy for me just to progress, to move ahead, cuz I'm being pulled in various directions. On one hand, I perhaps know that this is not the place for me, I should move on. But it's not easy, I can't move on. There are other forces that are pulling me back. In some situations, I know I should detach from the situation. I should move on, I should depart, I should sever the cords, I should embrace, I should reject, whatever it is. But it's not easy. I'm pulled in one way, but I'm also pulled in another way, emotionally, conceptually, uh spiritually, socially, psychologically, whatever the financial financial considerations. And when a person is in that state, the music of shalsheles depicts it. To put it differently, there's no word in Hebrew for ambivalence. Everybody knows what ambivalence is? There's no word in Hebrew for ambivalence. The closest you'll get is Eliyahu Hanavi in Melachim. Ad masai atem posechim al shtei hase'ifim? How long are you going to sit on the fence? Or as we say in Yiddish, vi lange vilst du tanzen auf tzvei chasanas? Im lashem, lashem, im laba'al, laba'al. Either you're coming to my wedding or you're going to his wedding. You can't dance a chasana tzvei chasanas. Although, Hashem in Jewish communities today, men tanzen nisht auf tzvei chasanas, a mol darf men tanzen auf sechs chasanas. Sometimes you got to attend six weddings cuz if not, people could stop talking to you forever. So, you jump from one, but whenever you're jumping from one to another, you're nowhere, right? You're busy with the next. It's like most handshakes. You ever see politicians or other prominent people give you a handshake, they're already looking at the next the next person. Ad masai atem posechim, Eliyahu Hanavi says, you have to decide who you are. How long are you going to sit on the fence? Ambivalence is in a state where I can't decide who I am. I don't know, I'm not sure. Or maybe I'm sure, but there's so many other forces pulling me in different directions. We don't have a word for it in lashon hakodesh. We have a note for it. And that's shalsheles. Listen to the shalsheles. Like they used to say when the record, you know, you remember the scratched record? Or today it's the scratched CD. And the note repeats itself again and again because there's a scratch, and remember the record players? And it can't move on to the next to the next part of the record. Aleihim mashalim zichronam livracha. That's the shalsheles. Listen to it. Da da da Okay, that's good. You're reflecting. Okay, next. Da da da No, I can't. Now, we don't want to keep the community waiting all day for kriat hatorah. People are hungry for the Shabbos meal, so we do it only three times. But, you know, theoretically, the shalsheles could go on ad infinitum. Did I say it right this time? It can go on and on and on and on. A person is stuck. Take a look at the picture of the shalsheles. What's the image? It's a zigzag. What's a zigzag? I'm going in this direction, but then I pull back. I go back, but then I pull back. I go back and I pull back. Back and forth, back and forth. I vacillate. I am ambivalent. I want to go here, but I can't go here cuz I'm going back here, and then this continues. And the decision process is extremely difficult for me. This, Rabbi Yosef ibn Caspi says, is the essence of the shalsheles musical note. It is a brilliant and elegant explanation, because when you look at the four times that the shalsheles is to be found in the whole Chumash, each of them represents a moment of profound uncertainty, profound ambivalence, profound even anguish, because sometimes I may know the right thing, but the pain to do the right thing, the pain to go forth with my decision is too difficult. I may know intellectually this is exactly what I have to do, but the emotional burden that that comes with causes me to be in a state of stagnation. Causes me to question. Causes me maybe no, maybe there's a way, maybe I could reconcile, maybe I can go back to that situation. The first time is in our parsha. But let's not jump ahead of ourselves. Let's first go to Chayei Sarah. Let's go to Vayeishev. Let's go to Tzav. We come back to Vayeira. The first shalsheles is in Vayeira. Which words? Perek Yud Tes, pasuk Tazria. You remember the moment. Lot has set up and established his family and his future in the city of S'dom. He left his uncle Avram and he moved to S'dom. He builds a family. He becomes a prominent figure in S'dom. The two guests of Avram Avinu, the two angels, come to Lot and tell him this place is going to be destroyed. At last, take your wife, take your family, and leave. Leave. Escape. And the pasuk says, "Vayishma Moshe." You know what Vayishma Moshe means? How'd they teach you in cheder? In poppa cheder, how'd they teach Vayishma Moshe? Etzeh fazant. MS? Fazant. So I remember. By ins Litvishe Russishe is up and fazant. Nisht fazant. In poppa zach man fazant, yeah? Yeah, weisst. Huh? In Monsey, they're ambivalent. The daileh maven. Vayishma Moshe, he got delayed. He delayed. Or probably a better word, he procrastinated. Etzeh geklatzt. Vayishma Moshe, you could look the first word pasuk. Vayachzikoo vanoshav beyado vayadishtoo vayash teibneiso bechemlas Adonoy alav vayitzioo vayenichoom michutz layir. So the two men grab his hand because he's not moving. He's stuck. Vayishma Moshe, he's I can't go. They grab him, they grab his wife, they grab his two daughters who lived in the home because of God's compassion on him because he was not ready to leave. And they schlepped him out. They take him out and they place him outside of the city. Vayishma Moshe has a shalsheles. Vayishma Moshe I can't guarantee you that the baal koreh of the Shabbos will do it as eloquent as I just did it because he may not understand what he's doing. But nonetheless, this is the shalsheles. At least the baal koreh's note will have some resemblance, I hope, to this. Next is Chayei Sarah, next week. Perek Yud Daled, pasuk Yud Bais. This is a little more difficult. Eliezer, the servant of Avram, is dispatched by his master to go find a shidduch, to go find a soulmate for his son, Yitzchak. Avram says, "Leave the land of Canaan. Go to my homeland. Go to Charan." Which is, of course, Mesopotamia, northern Iraq in present-day geography, and find somebody from where I come from, from the city of Charan. Eliezer says, "What happens if the girl doesn't want to follow me to Eretz Yisrael? Should I bring Yitzchak to her?" And Avram says, "No, then you are cleansed from your plot, from your pledge, from the oath that you made to me that you're going to do this." And he sends him off. When Eliezer comes to the city of Charan, he's outside of the city and he's waiting by the well. And he prays to Hashem. And he says, "Vayomer Adonoy Elohei Adonoy Avram, hakrei na lefanai hayom umaseh chesed im Adonoy Avram." It's a full pasuk. He says, "Hashem, God, my God, the master of Avram, please do chesed with my master Avram. Bring here today bring forth the right young woman for for Yitzchak, for my master's son." And he makes the famous test in his mind that if a girl is going to come and I'm going to ask her, she's going to come to the well to draw water. Remember then, in the era before sinks and before bathtubs and before sources of water in your own home. They still have it in some places. I've seen it. You go to countries that are not that developed and everyone gathers by the wellspring, the natural well in the city or outside of the city from which they draw water for a day, for a night, for a few days, and so forth. And if I ask this young woman to give me water and she offers me water with grace and kindness and my people, I know this is the shidduch. On the word Vayomer, there is a shalsheles. And he said, Vayomer Next, Vayeishev. Yosef has been kidnapped by his brothers, cast into a pit, sold into slavery. He's sold as an Egyptian slave to an Egyptian master, Potiphar. He works in his home and he's extremely successful. His master loves him. The problem is, his master's wife also loves him. And not his work. And she does not stop, as we know, seducing Yosef Hatzaddik. Zach the pasuk. Perek Yud Lamed Tes, Vayehi acharei hadvarim ha'eileh vatisa eishes Adonoyv es eineiha el Yosef. The wife of his master lifts up her eyes gazing at Yosef. Vatomer, she says, "Shichvi imi, lay with me." Vayima'ein, and he refuses. You remember how they translated that? Etzeh unzacht, yeah? Er etzeh unzacht. Vayima'ein, he refuses. Vayomer, and he says to eishes Adonoyv, to his wife's master, "Hein Adonoy lo yada eti mababo uvekhol asher lo nasan beyadi. My master doesn't even know what's going on in the home. He conferred all responsibility on me. Everything, this is my home. There's only one thing that he didn't give me and that's his wife. Eich eseh rag How can I do such evil vechatasi leil Elokim? I'll be sinning to God, to to betray the ethics of morality, as we learned last week with dovak be'ishto velo ya'aseh chever is one of the sheva mitzvos bnei Noach. You're a married woman to Potiphar. How can I do this to God? How can I do this to you? How can I do this to your master?" The word Vayima'ein has a shalsheles. Vayima'ein He refused. Shalsheles. The last one is parshas Tzav. Here, it's quite difficult to understand. Moshe Rabbeinu has been training his brother and his nephews for seven days of how to do the avodah in the Mishkan. Known as shivas yemei hamiluim. Every day from Chaf Gimmel Adar till Rosh Chodesh Nisan, he erects the Mishkan and he is the one who performs all of the services. Aaron watches. Aaron's children, Nadav and Avihu, Elazar and Ithamar, watch their uncle or brother perform all the services in the seven inaugural days when the Mishkan is about to be established permanently. Finally, on the eighth day, Rosh Chodesh Nisan, the Mishkan is established, not as inauguration, but for good, till they move it to the next location, and Aaron takes over. Aaron and his children take over. But for the seven days, Moshe did all of the korbanos and basically every day he had to sacrifice a bull and two rams. A par and shnayim and finally, in parshas Tzav, we come to the korban. It's the last offering on the last day of the seven during the seven days, the last ram. He already offered a bull, he offered one ram. Vayishchat. Moshe slaughters the second ram. Vayikach Moshe midam, he takes the blood. Vayiten al tnooch al yomnus, he puts it on the on the cartilage of Aaron's right ear. Vayal bo'en yado al yomnus, and on his right thumb of his hand. Vayal bo'en raglo al yomnus, and on the thumb of his on the toe, the thick toe of his right foot. Vayishchat. has a shalsheles. And he slaughtered. Vayishma Moshe Vayomer, Vayima'ein, Vayishchat. How do we understand the shalsheles in each? Let's see with Eliezer. Ibn Caspi himself suggests something and it's quite obvious. He says Eliezer is asking himself, "Is this a sign that is sufficient enough to ascertain if this is the right kallah for Yitzchak? Come on. You're going to ask a girl if you can have some water and she'll be kind and she'll give you water and that's it? That's a shidduch? We all know, and some people sitting here know this very well, when you're looking into a shidduch for your child, you call people, you call other people, you call third people, and sometimes people sell you the Brooklyn Bridge together with the Manhattan Bridge, together with the Verrazano and the George Washington. And by the time you discover the truth, it's sometimes, sadly, pretty late. I don't want to say it's too late, but sometimes it's sadly pretty late in the game. This is about people themselves. This about people's children, people's friends' children, and so forth. Eliezer is singing a shalsheles here. Vayomer, he says, "Hashem, I really need this to work, but I have to say I'm not sure this can work. How am I going to find out? Not even a conversation with her. Where did she grow up? What's her genetic makeup? What type of issues? I have to speak to her therapist, to psychiatrist, to psychologist, her teachers, her friends." That's what Ibn Caspi himself says. One can add, there's a halachic question. The Gemara asks if Eliezer was even allowed to do this. Lo senachashu. We don't believe in omens. You don't live by omens. This happened? The Ran says in Chulin that this wasn't an omen. This was a character test. It wasn't he was making like this superstitious siman if this happens, it's a good shidduch. If this doesn't happen, it's not a good shidduch. That would run contrary to halacha. Lo senachashu tamim tiye im Hashem Elokecha. The Ran says in Chulin, this wasn't an omen. This was a character test. He was trying to figure out and see what type of person this is. Of course one is supposed to do this. But there is a third explanation, and this is brought in Bereishis Rabbah and it's brought in Rashi. A much more subtle issue. And it was very psychological and very deep. And that is Eliezer wanted Yitzchak for his own daughter. In other words, Eliezer was loyal to Avraham Avinu. And Avraham Avinu wanted Yitzchak to find a woman from his own family in Charan. But Eliezer was a conflicted person. Because he had a daughter, and he wanted Yitzchak. And this could be for two reasons. One ideological, and one financial. Ideological, to be a mechutan of Avraham Avinu. You know, you could get into all the seminaries in Monsey. Your ainiklach won't have problems. They'll be able to get into all the yeshivas. The zeides of Avraham Avinu. The alter zeide not. Avraham Avinu himself wouldn't be able to get into yeshivas because of his father. But but once Avraham was Avraham, it would be it wouldn't be a problem. Okay, that's on one level. But on a deeper level, Eliezer dedicated his life to Avraham. Eved Avraham and Eliezer was a personality. He was a great man. His deepest desire in life was his daughter could marry a person like Yitzchak, have a father-in-law like Avraham. That gene, that soul, that spirit for his daughter, for himself, and for their children. On one level. On another level, if you want to be a little more uh I don't want to say cynical, but maybe a little more materialistic, Avraham Avinu's wealth was extraordinary. And Eliezer knew this. And Avraham Avinu himself tells Hashem, "Vehi me ben meshek beisi asisi, Damasek Eliezer." Eliezer Avraham Avinu says, "I'm dying without a child." Avraham says, "Who's going to inherit everything? Eliezer. Damasek Eliezer. He's the man who's going to get everything." But now Yitzchak emerged. He's not getting anything. Unless we keep it in the family. On any level you want to explain this, and perhaps both are true. You know, there's an element of this and an element of that. But on any level you explain it, it was not simple. And this is what Rashi says clearly. Perek Daled Pasuk Lamed Tes. I'm sorry. Chayei Sarah Daled Hey. Eliezer says, "Vayomer lo ha'eved, ulai lo yeishev ish acharei ha'aretz hazos asher asisi asher asisa im Hashem?" The eved says, "What if the woman doesn't want to follow me back to Yitzchak? Should I take out Yitzchak?" Avraham says, "No way. He's staying in Eretz Yisrael." So Rashi, "Ulai lo yeilech ishah acharai." Ulai is supposed to be spelled alef vav lamed yud. Here it's spelled alef lamed yud. Rashi, "Al yiksev." When Eliezer said ulai, there was another meaning to ulai, al yilai. What's al yilai? Not maybe, but for me. Baso yishalehu Eliezer vayemachez limtzo ishah yom ulai Avraham lifnei selah lashevi. He had a daughter, and he was waiting for the moment He was waiting for the moment when Avraham will tell him, "You know what? Why don't we try your daughter?" He was hoping Yitzchak is getting older and older and older, and at some point Avraham is going to say, "You know what? Let's just go with you." Amar Avraham bnei baruch atah Adonai medabek bevaruch. Avraham said, "Trust me, this is not a match." Whether Avraham said this, Avraham intimated, Eliezer understood this, but it still did not take away his desire. So now he's standing at a well. Imagine the scene. And he says, "Ribbono shel Olam, please please allow me to find right here a proper shidduch for Yitzchak." He's praying. He's speaking. He wants it to happen. But on another level, he doesn't want it to happen. He wants his mission to fail. Sometimes you pray for something, and you say you want it because you want it, but you really don't want it. That's what happens here. Is this conscious or is this subconscious? When I grew up learning the Rashi, I always thought it was conscious. Eliezer said, "Listen, I'm doing my job, but I hate it. I don't want it." However, the Shem Mishmuel quotes the Kotzker Rebbe, who was his zeide. Shem Mishmuel was a son of the Avnei Nezer. Avnei Nezer was married to the Kotzker Rebbe's daughter. He quotes his grandfather, who said as follows, something very insightful. I don't want to move on to this because it's a whole different subject. But he said as follows. This al yilai that Rashi speaks about should have been said the first time the story happens. When Avraham tells Eliezer, "Go bring a girl for Yitzchak." Eliezer says, "What if she doesn't want to come?" That's where it should have been al yilai without a vav cuz Eliezer was saying, you know, me. It's not there. It's in the second time. When Eliezer repeats the story, when he repeats the story to the mechutanim, to Rivka's parents and brother, that's when he says, "I told Avraham ulai." And that's where it says al yilai. One second. He's telling this to the mechutanim? He's telling them, "By the way, I'm not interested in this shidduch." He's telling them, "So by the way, I want I want I want Yitzchak. Say no." Then he's mamash undermining everything. So why in the second time around? The Kotzker Rebbe says that it was all subconscious. Now this is 100 years before Freud. Appreciate it. 100 years before Freud, he said a little less even. He said that it was subconscious. Eliezer wasn't aware. He was undermining his prayers, but he wasn't aware that he was undermining his prayers. You know when he became aware of it? He revisited the story in his own heart. When you tell over the story, and suddenly, wow. I was stuck. I was stuck. Sometimes you do things, you say things, you operate on a level you don't realize what's happening. It's instinctive. It's subconscious. When you have the courage to revisit the story and to confront it, you identify it, then you realize what happened. And he argues brilliantly, I would say, that the reason that this story is repeated in Chumash a second time, it's a parsha that's one of the longest parshas in Chumash for no reason. The pasuk could have said Eliezer came to Betuel, and he told them the whole story, and he said, "Now give me Rivka." That's it. And you saved yourself not two psukim. You saved yourself dozens and dozens and dozens of psukim. This is probably the longest parsha in Chumash if I'm not mistaken. 69 or 70 psukim. Close to 70 psukim. 70 psukim. For that the Shabbos has 39 melachos, we don't even have one pasuk for Not one pasuk that Shabbos has 39 melachos. We learn it from Eileh ha'eileh mishkan misos. That's Shabbos every week. But Eliezer the whole parsha twice. The Kotzker Rebbe says because when you undermine something subconsciously, it's not going to happen. And how do you have to deal with it? You have to bring it to the fore. And once you can identify that you have ulterior motives, you can quarantine them, and then you can move on. You're a free person. To be free, you don't have to be cleansed from your demons. You just have to identify your demons. To be a free person, you don't have to cleanse yourself from all your issues. But you have to be able to identify them. You have to be able to say, "I really don't want this to happen. I want every girl to say no to Yitzchak. I hope this is a miserable failure. And then I'll come back and I'll cry. Nebach, it didn't happen. I'll say, "Baruch Hashem, thank God." As long as you can identify the conflict in your own heart, then you're free to make a decision. You're free. That's why it has to repeat himself cuz only when Eliezer became aware of the subconscious obstacle that he let it go, and then it happened. Interesting interpretation. I mean, he says this in three and a half lines. I'm elaborating a little bit. The way I understand it. So Eliezer is stuck. When he says "Vayomer", he's like, "Hashem, please." But you know what? It's vayomer. There's no complete flow. It's interesting. The word that he uses is ulai. Ulai means maybe. But it's not a common term that's always used. There's other words for maybe, right? How do you When you want to say maybe, what do the Israelis say when you want to say maybe? Echad um maybe. Ulai ma'od? Huh? Okay. Or or shema, right? Here it's ulai. What's the difference in ulai and shema? In Kodesh? Everything is precise. What's the difference? So the Ben Ezra says in Tehillim Kuf Tazayan V'chacham milas Uli pam shama u'pam k'mo im ava. Sometimes Uli is like halavai, I wish. Sometimes no, no, no, no, I don't wish but maybe. Uli u'chali lo'chem Right, that's Balak. I wish I could combat. Uli, I wish. Maybe but I really wish. I know it's not it's not so simple. Uli yeisha u'pam shama Uli lo seiva ha'isha. This is not a halavai. Pam Uli lo seiva ha'isha. What is the Ben Ezra saying? There's different types of Ulis. There's an Uli which is halavai and there's an Uli that's a maybe. Now this Uli at the surface is maybe. But beneath the surface it's halavai. You know when you invited somebody for Shabbos and like you would you realize it was a mistake or whatever. You're not ready. Your wife is not ready. So you like call them and like you call them Thursday night you say maybe it's better for you to come another Shabbos. Right? It's not maybe, it's like I wish. I wish. I'm not going to say I wish you don't come to say maybe it's better to come another Shabbos. Maybe, maybe. Which usually gets into more problems. They say no, we're looking forward. We're bringing you in a few more guests. And it becomes even more wonderful. The eitza for that is not to be a perfectionist. And to remember that if you have personality, they don't come for your food. You come they come for the company. And if you don't have personality, you shouldn't be inviting guests for the first time. I'm just joking. But okay. So Uli means Uli could mean maybe, Uli could mean halavai. Granted Eliezer prays for a kallah for Yitzchak but it's not so simple. Next Yosef. With Yosef, he refuses. But the refusal comes with tremendous anguish, tremendous sacrifice, tremendous agony. Why? It's not hard to understand. Even if we wouldn't know who Yosef is in terms of righteousness and holiness, if you just read the story on a surface level, here is a boy who is 17 years old. Grew up without a mother. His brothers despised him and hated him. He had one friend who loved him, who believed in him, his father. Nobody else. His brothers, not the mafia, his brothers kidnapped him. Want to kill him, throw him into a pit, remove that lovely tunic and then sell him into slavery. Now this is before Lincoln's days. Slave meant a slave for life. It wasn't 12 years a slave, it was a slave for life. And a slave in Egypt. You're not dealing here with an era of uh of democracy and emancipation and so forth. So this prince a grandson of Yitzchak, a great grandson of Avraham lost his entire freedom. And mazel or God's grace, his master loves him. Not only does he not bother him, not only does he not torture him, not only does he not abuse him as slaves were especially in the South here in America in the dark days of slavery. But his master says this house is yours. You're the best. You take over everything and I'm I'm away. You you you He delegates everything. And Yosef finally found what you would call some life, some dignity, some future. Now understand the tragedy of this person. And the tra And now something happens. His master's wife wants him. And all she wants is 5 minutes. And she threatens him. Take a look at the Gemara in Yuma Lamed Hei. She goes with good and she goes with bad. Mit shlecht un mit gut. Yuma Lamed Hei amra lav al Yosef hatzadik. A Gemara in Yuma. B'chol yom v'yom oseh eishis Potiphar m'shadalto b'dvarim. Every day, this wasn't once a week. Every day he was getting WhatsApps. And texts and messages and some other things. She spoke and spoke and didn't stop. Her husband wasn't home. He's one of these guys, he's never home. You know what I mean? So the coast was clear. He was on business trips. He was making money. He was running the empire. The coast was clear. Yosef was running the house and she was there. You can understand. Now now the Gemara starts talking about the credit card bill that Potiphar had to pay. B'gadam she lav she lo shachris she lav she lo arvis. The clothes she put on in the morning she didn't put on in the evening. The wardrobe changed for breakfast, for lunch and for supper. The rest of the day she had to shop. You can't have so many outfits. B'gadam she lav she lo arvis she lav she lo shachris. Understand? This woman was ups- obsessed with Yosef. She was strategizing. She was planning. It wasn't one time somebody has. Amra loyi she tells him hashmeili. Listen to me. Just listen to me. Amra loyi lo lav. He says no. Amra loyi ad eini vashtich b'veisa asurin. I will incarcerate you for life. She does it. He says no. Hashem matan asurin. Ad eini koifefis koimasa. Yosef was a tall, handsome figure. I will crush your height. I will destroy you. I will crush you. She doesn't only mean physically. Number one physically and number two emotionally. W- When I'm done with you you will be the loser of the century. He says I don't care. Ad eini m'sameiach einayich. Yosef had beautiful eyes. He was yafei to'ar yafei mar'eh. I will blind you. I will blind you. Yosef refuses. So she says you know what? What do we have to go with negative? Let's go with the positive. Nosna loyi elef kikrei kesef l'shmaya elaha. She gives him a thousand kikrei kesef. In today's world I would say she gave him five, six million dollars for 5 minutes. For 5 minutes, a 17-year-old boy before Matan Torah. Now let's understand this. This is pikuach nefesh l'chol adays. A shidduch, it's not going to damage in the family. The family reputation won't be ruined. In Egypt this is what people did. Shtufei zima. Last week we spoke about the great saintliness of of the more of the of the shtufei zima in Egypt but at the end of the day they were shtufei zima. They were promiscuous people. Ervas ha'aretz. This was the common way. This wasn't a unique thing. And it's not that Yosef was living near his family so the next day there would be signs all over Mea Shearim telling the world who Yosef is and it would affect the shidduch of his brothers and the shidduch of his sisters and the family reputation of the yeshivas that they get into and the communities that welcome them. None of this would happen. Nor did he have a father, nor did he have a nor did he have a mother, nor did he have a father. Father thought he was dead. On the word vayima'en there's a shalsheles. And this of course we hear an echo of it in the famous Gemara Maseches Sotah. Sotah Lamed Beis. Tana d'vei Rabbi Yishmael. It says there was one day Vayi ki yoma zeh ein ish babayis. There was nobody home. There was nobody home and the only one who came home was and she finally grabs him and she says please be with me. Sagi d'Gemara is chag am hoya. It was the holiday. Vayolchu kulam l'veis avodas ha'chag ha'shaleim. Everybody went to the ashram. Everybody went to the temple. Everybody went to the What do they call it there? I don't know. The monastery, whatever it was. They went. This was obligations. Right? L'havdil Yom Kippur, nobody's home. Everybody goes to shul. L'havdil, this was the time everybody left. V'hi amra lan choli. She told everybody I'm sick. She wasn't sick. She feigned sickness and she was home. Amra ein l'yom she nishkal Yosef k'yoma zeh. Today the world is safe. The house is safe. This is a day that Yosef will finally surrender. Nobody could catch him. Nobody's here. Nobody's coming home. This is the day. Vatispeiseihu v'vigdo leima. She grabs him by his clothes and asks him to lay with her. And we all know what happens at the end is Vayonas ha'chutzo ha'chutzo. He flees and he leaves the cloak in her hands. Vayisa sha. So the Gemara brings over there that Rav and Shmuel in one opinion is vayovi ha'bayis l'osis m'lachto. Yosef actually surrendered. Vayisa sha bas of the Yekunei Shel b'nei Yisrael b'nei Yisrael. At that moment, what a dramatic Gemara. The image of his father comes and appears in the window. Amra loyi Yosef. He says Yosef my son, asidin achecha she kasvu al avnei eifod v'atabeineihim. The names of all your brothers will be written on the stones of the eifod of the Kohen Gadol's apron. All the names of the shvatim were engraved on the gems of the eifod and the choshen v'atabeineihim v'tzo'in choshei machsheves b'neihim v'ticharei ro'ei Yisrael. Are you ready really to delete your name forever from that list and be called a shepherd of harlots? Yosef abstains at the last moment. But the shalsheles of vayima'en tells us that there was a tremendous struggle. There was tremendous pain. There was tremendous anguish. This was not an easy moment for Yosef. He refused. But how did he refuse? There was a shalsheles. Understand the crisis of conscience that Yosef has. On one side stands the temptation of this moment. On one hand stands the question of pikua nefesh. Will he end up his entire life in prison as a blind, crushed individual? On one hand stands a person who has no family and no friends. And the step from here can only be doomed to purgatory forever in Egypt if he disobeys. That's one side. And then there's another side. He's a son of Yakov. He's a grandson of Yitzhak. He's a great grandson of Avram. The entire moral commitment of the family of Avram Avinu is about to be shattered by Yosef if he engages in this. Or as Yakov put it here, are you really ready to delete your name from the covenant that God made with Avram, Yitzhak, and Yakov to live a higher life, a life dedicated to truth, a life dedicated to morality, a life dedicated to ethics, a life dedicated to genuine values? Are you ready? Does it make sense for you to delete your name for eternity from that list in order to satisfy this moment? Yosef will, of course, decide no. And that's why the Zohar says he's the only one from those generations who's called the tzaddik, Yosef HaTzaddik. Not Avram, not Yitzhak, not Yakov, not Moshe. Nobody has the title tzaddik. None of his brothers. Only Yosef. And the Zohar says it was because of that moment, because of that nisayon, because of that test. And think also about the loneliness of this child. There's nobody he can call that night and say I was victorious. He's not going to come to shul and his rosh yeshiva is not going to give him a hug and say, "Ah, Yisrael Asher Bachar Aspire. I'm proud of you." Nobody would tell that to him. All they would tell him in prison is, "Bist an idiot. Bist a shoteh. That's what you are." And she was right. She put him away. And he would have remained in a pit in Cairo. And you know that pits in Cairo are not fun places to be. Not today and not then. The only reason he came out was more than a decade later cuz Paro had that busy having dreams, had busy having nightmares. But Yosef couldn't expect and count on that. There's a shalsheles. And I find this moving because the Torah very subtly is paying tribute to the struggle this boy went through. And that the decision he made was not struggle-free. And the Torah says when you read that vayima'en, remember that. Some people say no. And nobody will ever guess what is behind that no. How much blood, how much sweat, how many tears did Yosef pour down on his pillow? How wet was that pillow? Because of what he had to do at that moment. That's the vayima'en. It pays tribute to the depth of the conflict, the depth of the struggle that nobody will ever know about because the decision was a clear decision. It was decisive. Only God and the person. That's the vayima'en. And then comes the vayishchat. The vayishchat in parshas tzav. Now that's a difficult one to understand. What was Moshe's ambivalence? And perhaps one could suggest two ideas. Number one, I would say more human. Number one, also human idealistic but a deep human feeling. And number two, the question of a real leader and a real pedagog. The Gemara says in Zevachim daf kuf beis that when Moshe Rabbeinu was summoned by the bush to become the leader, he refused for seven days. Finally, at the end, vayichar af Hashem b'Moshe. Hashem gets upset and what does he say? Halo Aharon achicha HaLevi. Aharon, your brother the Levi, is going to come to greet you. Veracho v'samach b'libo. You're afraid your older brother is going to be envious of you. Baby Moshe became the prophet. Not easy for an older brother to watch. Not your brother. Your brother is Aharon. Veracho v'samach b'libo. It's easy for an older brother to watch a baby brother be successful. And then when he sees him, he pats him on the back to make sure that he still knows he's his baby. You know that one? You're doing so well. I'm proud of you. Yeah. I'm sure. Like Eliezer Zula. Hashem should even give you more hatzlacha. Please not in my lifetime. Was once a very cute moment. Avraham Fried, who's an Israeli and a good friend of mine, I was doing a concert with Mordechai Ben David. So after Mordechai sings, Avraham takes the mic and he says, "Uh You know, they say that Mordechai Ben David is the king of Jewish music. And it's true. He's the undisputed king of Jewish music. And and all of us, including myself, we celebrate him. Why did it have to happen in my lifetime?" But he was saying it in very good humor and uh you know, you wouldn't say this in public if it's genuine unless you're a real con artist, and he's not. So uh Hashem says Aharon is not that brother. He's going to celebrate with you. But he calls Aharon a Levi. Aharon achicha HaLevi. So the Gemara says that the charon af osration, that Moshe was supposed to be the kohen and Aharon the Levi, but it ended up that Aharon was the kohen and Moshe was the Levi. How is that connected to Moshe not taking the mission for seven days? That's a separate shiur. Cuz as you know from these shiurim, punishments are not punishments of vengeance. Punishments are consequences. They're always consequences. S'char mitzvah is the mitzvah. S'char aveira is the aveira itself. It's not separate from the aveira. Okay, that's a separate parsha. But now Moshe, for the last time, is doing the last shchita. And the next time Aharon is going to be taking over. For seven days Moshe did the job. But at last he has to give over that mantle, that position of kehuna gedola to his brother. Moshe does it. But when he does that last shchita of the second ram on the seventh day, he will never do it again. There's a shalsheles. There's a deep sense of reflection, of hesitancy, of tragedy. And this is also a profound idea. A leader has to know who he is. Equally important is to know who he's not. A lot of people know who they are. It's much harder to know who you're not, to acknowledge who you're not, and to embrace who you're not. To know what was given to you and to know what was not given to you, what was given to your brother. Now that's hard. What was given to your sister. What was given to somebody else. It's only when I own not only what I am but what I'm not that I can actually begin to be who I am. Because if you don't know who you're not, you'll never know who you are. Or you will never embrace who you are, and therefore you will never do what you're supposed to be doing. Cuz in your mind, I'm busy being you. Do I have to elaborate? For the women, probably not. For the men, as much as I elaborate, it'll take another few decades. But we'll figure it out one day together. One of the great one of the great signs of great people is they know who they are. But they also know who they're not. And it's not always easy to acknowledge who you're not. But as they say, we're all born originals. Most of us die as copies. And as somebody else said, don't try to live somebody else's life cuz that life is taken already. So Moshe Rabbeinu at this moment really says, "I'm not the kohen. I'm not the kohen gadol. It's my brother." Vayishchat. Then you have Rav Chaim Kanievsky in the sefer Ta'amei HaMinhagim. This is already a very different answer. Rav Chaim Kanievsky says that he delayed the shchita like a shalsheles. You know why? Cuz he needed enough blood to get on the cartilage of Aharon and the thumb of Aharon and the and the the the thumb of Aharon and the and the toe of Aharon, the big toe of Aharon. So shalsheles. He The shchita was longer to be able to get more blood. And the Rav Chaim Kanievsky has his derech that at the last moment he converted it from a shlamim to a chatas. A different parsha. Fine. I think there's also one more element, and that is Somebody told me Friday night, a therapist told me Friday night that he sometimes asks elder older patients or mature patients, he says, "Uh When you're 70 or 80 or 90 and you're going to look back at your life, are you going to have any regrets? What might you say could have been different or I should have done differently? Just think about that." So I asked him, "What do they usually respond?" He says they usually don't understand the question. Which I guess is in itself a profound response. Cuz you have to be somewhat, at least, eager to be a little self-aware to ask that question. Moshe, like all great people, continuously asked that question. And at this moment, Moshe asks one question. And that is, "I educated my brother and I educated his children. Did I do it right? You know, when you're bringing your daughter or your son under the chuppah, so there are the emotions of the moment, but there are also deeper emotions because the 20 years or 25 years or whatever the number is of raising this child comes into razor sharp focus at this moment. Maybe the moment that the chassan covers the kallah, the moment whatever in certain moments that bring 25 years together in an instant. And there's no time for profound and complicated reflection, but you have that shalsheles. You know, you pause and that pause is a very deep question of did I live up to my mission? Did I live up to my potential? That's the vayishkot, the shalsheles of Moshe Rabbeinu's last vayishkot. The next vayishkot will happen 21 pesukim later and it will not be Moshe. It will be Aaron. At last we come to the fourth shalsheles in parshas Vayeira, the story of Lot. And in many ways, I would say, here you have one of the profoundest crises of the human heart, of the human consciousness. Lot vayishma Moshe, he's delayed. Why? Why doesn't he leave? Does he not trust the angels? Is it a question of philosophy, of theology? Maybe they're just they're jokers. They're trying to sell him they're trying to you know, sell him a a Ponzi scheme. Is this a Ponzi scheme? Why vayishma Moshe? Rashi says balabatish, the man had a lot of money. He couldn't take all the money. Vayishma Moshe, you don't leave without the money. And he had to he didn't doubt them, but person is connected to money. But if that's the case, so we have an interesting concept. The Mishnah says akina v'taiva v'ha koved motzi'in es adam min ha'olam. Jealously of others, cravings and and the need for koved turn your life into a miserable life. Anybody experience this? You're jealous, you have taivas, addictions, deep cravings, crushes that you or or koved, you need koved motzi'in es adam min ha'olam. You know, they say a gishmaka maaseh, when the Imrei Emes, the Gerer Rebbe, came to Eretz Yisrael one of his visits, he went to visit the chief rabbi then of Eretz Yisrael, Rav Avraham Yitzchak HaCohen Kook. So, he went to Rav Kook's house. So, Rav Kook gave him the seat at the head table where he usually would sit. So, the Imrei Emes tells Rav Kook, "No way, I'm not taking this seat. I'll sit with the guests, sit on the side." So, they're arguing back and forth, back and forth. So, Rav Kook looked at the card, pesachim. The Gemara says in pesachim where is it? Peh vov, I think. Kol ma she'balaba'is omer l'cha aseh. Whatever the balaba'is tells you to do, you do. I'm the balaba'is. I told you to sit at the head table, you're supposed to sit at the head table. And it's halacha in Shulchan Aruch. Shulchan Aruch Orech Chaim siman kuf aleph. This is halacha in Shulchan Aruch. You come to somebody's house, whatever the balaba'is tells you to do, you do. So, the Imrei Emes says, "You have to read the end of the Magen Avraham. The end of Magen Avraham is chutzpa mitzei. Chutzpa mitzei means whatever the balaba'is tells you to do, do. Besides, if he says get out of the house, that you don't do." He says get out of the house, you say "Tough luck, I'm here already. I'm staying for a year." You know, they say there was a meshulach who came to somebody's house was collecting, so he asked if he could stay here for a little while. So, sure, how long do you says a night, two nights, okay. One night, two nights, a week, two weeks, after four weeks, the guy was a nice guy, but the little toff him and the meshulach was a quintessential welt shnudel kasha. So, at one some point he went to Reb Mendel Amasei, he says, "You know, where do your wife and where do your wife and children live?" He says, "They live in Eretz Yisrael, he says. I'm wondering you don't miss you don't miss your wife and children." So, the next day they arrived. Um I once saw who says it? The Maharit, somebody, one of the early acharonim, Rav Bigod will be so he says, "Kol ma she'balaba'is omer l'cha aseh, chutzpa mitzei." Whatever the balaba'is tells you to do, you have to do, but only if he tells you to do it. If he thinks you should do it, you don't have to do it. Sometimes you see that your host, yeah, has all these calculations and if you look into their eyes, you see what they want, you don't have to. He doesn't want to tell it to you, his problem. It's his problem. Kol ma she'balaba'is omer l'cha, whatever he tells you to do, you do. Besides one thing, chutzpa mitzei. When it comes to leave, even if he doesn't tell you it's time to go out. Chutzpa mitzei, even if he makes a remez. This doesn't mean if you decide that he told you or you decide he thinks you want, that's your own insecurity. But if you takke see that he really wants you to leave, even though he doesn't say it, you're allowed to pick yourself up and go. Okay. Try. Keep quiet. So, the Imrei Emes tells Rav Kook, Rav Kook said, "I didn't ask you to leave the house. I asked you to sit at the head table." So, the Imrei Emes says, "Let me tell you pshat in chutzpa mitzei. Whatever the balaba'is tells you to do, you should do. Besides, if he tells you to do one of the three things that are motzi'in es ha'adam min ha'olam." He says, "You want to give me koved. You want to put me at the head table here, so I should get koved. Is akina v'taiva v'ha koved motzi'in es adam min ha'olam? Whatever the balaba'is tells you to do, you do. Chutzpa mitzei, unless he tells you to do one of the three things that tells you tzei, get out of the world. Motzi'in es adam min ha'olam." So, essentially you have three shalsheles. The shalsheles of Lot, according to Rashi, would be kina. He can't depart from the money. The shalsheles of Yosef would be taiva. The shalsheles of Eliezer would be he wants Avraham as a mechuten, koved. That's on one level. But let's take it let's take it to one more level with with Lot, to a deeper level with Lot, what the vayishma Moshe really is. I think what Rashi is saying is it's not just the money, it's everything the money represented. You see, let's analyze for a moment Lot's story. It's a very dramatic story, Lot's story. If you think about Lot's story, Lot was a nephew of Avraham Avinu. He lived in the shadow of Avraham. He was raised by Avraham. His father was burned, Haran was killed, Avraham raised Lot. Avraham and Sarah took Lot under their wings, they supported him. He escorted them. He was mamesh a ben bayis, he was a family member, he was his nephew. His closest kin, Avraham didn't have children. And Avraham did well and Lot did very well, but at some point Lot saw a different life for himself. At some point Lot's eyes perceive that his future he wants to be very different than Avraham's future. At some point he made a conscious decision, it's time to move on. Avraham Avinu said, "There's something in this relationship that's not working. You live differently, your ethics are different and I'm not going to go far, but wherever you go, you go your place, I'll go my place, so we could remain in peace. Good fences good neighbors make. What happens? So, the pasuk says in Lech L'cha Yud Gimmel, Vayisa Lot es einav vayare es kol kikar ha'Yarden kikar ha'Yarden ki chula mashke l'fnei Hashem k'gan Hashem k'eretz Mitzrayim b'voacha Tzo'ar. Lot lifts up his eyes and he says, "Give up Kook. Give up Kook. At the Riviera at the Riviera of Eretz Yisrael, take a look at the landscapes of S'dom. There you could live like a mensch. What do I have to live in a basement in Brooklyn? What do I have to live in this farhakte place, wherever I'm living? I have a future for myself. What do I have to live between these people and these people? I have to live in this community, everybody looks at my wing, this garment, that garment, that I daven mincha at 6:00, I daven mincha at 4:00, that my kids like this, my kids like that, my wife this, my What do I need this for? I don't need this place. I can build a future for myself. First of all, I can have a mansion. Second of all, I can have sounds like one second, have nine acres. What do I need to live in a garage somewhere in Williamsburg or Borough Park? And besides everything else, so Lot makes a cheshbon. Vayifcha Lot es kol kikar ha'Yarden vayisa Lot mikedem vayipared me'Avraham. Lot chooses for himself the entire plain of the Jordan River. He leaves and he separates from Avraham. And Rashi says mikedem doesn't only mean geographically, it means spiritually, amar Yishai b'Avraham v'Yishai b'Yaakov. Avraham's life is not my life. He's a good uncle, he's a saintly man, it's just not me. So, we understand Lot's character. Lot is a young ambitious fellow. He learned a lot of good skills growing up in Avraham's house. Certainly he takes some things from Avraham Avinu, we see he's going to be a nice host, but Lot has a different weltanschauung. He's not committed to Avraham's God, he's not committed to a covenant with God. His mission in life is not vayikra sham b'shem Hashem Kel Olam to reveal that the world is divine. That's not his mission. His mission is ambition, success, prosperity and tremendous tremendous integration in a different society, mainstream society. I don't need Avraham's life. It's restrictive, it's inhibiting, it's not for me. Anybody engage such an option here? Any of your children? Okay. What happens? Lot moves on. He moves on. And you know what happens? The man is successful. How do I know he's successful? Says in Vayeira "V'Lot yoshev b'shaar S'dom." What does Rashi say from Bereishis Rabba? Minuhu shoifet la'am. He's a Jewish kid. Comes to S'dom, we know S'dom anshei S'dom ra'im v'chata'im la'Hashem me'od. S'dom is capitalism to its extreme. S'dom is not just a capitalistic city. If you give tzedakah, they'll kill you. Shali shali? Shalach shalach. At the surface, it's not bad. You make your money, I make my money. I don't give you mine, you don't give me yours. But I make my money, it's mine. And you don't start feeding poor people. We don't have shnorers in this town. People work hard, they wake up 5:00 in the morning, they're sitting at the desk 6:45 a.m. after a gym. 4:00, they made their money, they go home to drink pina colada and lay in the hammock and read a book till they go to sleep. That's how it is. There's no hospitality here, there's no sharing, there's no giving. You are for yourself. That's how you live. This is the society Lloyd wants. Exact opposite of Avraham Avinu. Exact opposite. Avraham Avinu was sick after a circumcision and he sees three Bedouin Arabs and he runs. Come, be shalom u'tacha seitz. Come. I'll be so happy can I give you some tongue with mustard? Play on me. Some tongue with mustard. That he has to slaughter and bake and milk and sour cream and burger cheeseburgers, whatever he gave. Ayeka chelm u'veacholov u'ven u'vakasheros. It wasn't a machine burgers first, it was milk, then was meat, but he gave them a l'shem u'l'tiferes. Lloyd is the opposite extreme. I want to take care of myself. I want to take care of my family. And you know what? He does well. The man becomes a Supreme Court Justice in S'dom. Now, when you hit the Supreme Court, you're a shtikel mensch. You're a shtikel mensch. Supreme Court, that's who he is. Not only that, he has two daughters who married out. Right? He has two daughters. Rashi, this is a pasuk. He has two daughters who married out. They intermarry, they have children. He has already S'dom in-laws. He has S'dom eineklach. He's an integrated man. He has two daughters at home who are already married to two men before the nisu'in but after the marriage. He's They're still living at home. In other words, he already has four shidduchim with local members. He's so integrated, he's so accepted. The stereotype, the stigma of being a Jew, of being Avraham Avinu removed. Supreme Court. Fear Adams. Fear Adams that are all capitalistic, successful, I don't know, bankers or whatever they were. But they were extremely successful and prosperous. What else do you want? His wife, alles gut. Everything good. The man is doing well financially, psychologically, socially. Or so he thought. And then there's a scene. And the scene is two guests come. He invites them cuz he's fart. In his genes is, you know, you could take you could take the Jew out of Russia, you can't take Russia out of the Jew. I could take Lloyd away from Avraham, but you couldn't take everything from Avraham out of Lloyd. And he invites them to the house. And when the S'domites find out that there are guests, they come to Lloyd, they say, Shiksa ice. This is unacceptable. We'll do what we have to do. Lloyd begs them. And here we see a warped morality. He says, I'll give you my daughters, but don't touch the guests. They're my guests. And then comes the scene. Vayayru you test test. Vayoyim do they say, "Gesh Allah. Move away." Vayoyimru and they say. And here is a sentence as most people they read Chumash, they gloss over the richness of the words. Here is a sentence the Jews would be hearing for the next 4,000 years. Vayoyimru they said, "Ha echod ba logur vayishpot shofet. You came here as a stranger. You're a refugee, the mistager. Vayishpot shofet. And you're telling us how to live our life. You're telling us how to judge. Lloyd, remember who you are. Remember who you are, mister shmutz keyid. You're a filthy old-fashioned oyst you Yid. Go back to the east. That's where you That's who you are. You're going to come and tell us how to run this city. This city was here before you, it will be after you. Remember forever you're a ger. Here is a Jew who thought he was integrated. All his kids married out. He made it to the Supreme Court of this S'dom country or city. And now they tell him, "All you are is a parasite. You're a parasite. You're an alien." And they continue, "Ata nora l'chamehem. We will harm you much more than we will harm them." Vayiftzu ish b'Lloyd me'od vayikshu mishpat adolis. So what happens? The angels take Lloyd in and they lock the door, they blind the people by the door. And pasuk bais, vayoyimra ish b'Lloyd, "Milcho f'chosom u'nechov u'nesach u'cholesh u'l'chover tze u'l'mkom. Who do you have? Do you have a son-in-law? Do you have sons? Do you have daughters? Take them all out. Ki mashchis anachnu es hamakom. Ki godla tza'akasom es pnei Hashem. The outcry of of suffering in this place of people who are unfortunate is beyond." Vayeitzei Lloyd. He believes them. Vayedaber el chasanav Lloyd u'vein Yosef. He goes out to his sons-in-law. And he goes out to the people who married his daughters. And Rashi wants to know what's the redundancy? And Rashi says it's two sets of men. There is chasanav, his sons-in-law. And then there's Lloyd u'vein Yosef, another two sons-in-law who didn't yet move in with their with their wives, but they're already married. We would call it engagement. Then there was what you called erusin. They were married, but they weren't living together yet. Two sets of in-laws. Two sets of sons-in-law. Four people. Vayoyimer, "Kubutzu min hamakom hazeh ki mashchis Hashem es ha'ir." This is a father-in-law who's wealthy, successful, integrated. He got the best shidduchim in S'dom. The best. And he says, "Listen. You'll thank me one day. Get out." And what's their response? Vayehi k'metzachek beinei chasanav. In the eyes of his son-in-law, he looks like a gesture, a joker, a shoyteh, a fad. A metzachek. You're not even worth arguing with. You're an idiot. You're a fool, that's what you are. You're a fool. K'metzachek. U'k'mayah shachar Allah. Dawn breaks by eitzu amalachim u'Lloyd leimer, "Kum kach es ishtecha u'shnei banecha u'sochein im tzois ha'peni ha'safek. Take your wife and take your two daughters. No time to wait." The next word, vayis mama. Now, see the shalsheles of vayis mama. Understand what's happening here to a person. He invested his whole life in a future that he thought would guarantee him happiness and success. He never really liked it by Avraham. Psychologically, I can explain to you why. He blamed Avraham for his father's death. Because Haran died. Remember, Rashi says at the end of Noach. You don't learn Chumash anymore, huh? Like a forgotten text. Chumash like a forgotten text. Daf yomi, no Chumash. Rashi says at the end of parshas Noach that Haran lived on the fence. And when they threw Avraham into the fiery furnace, he said, "If Avraham wins, I'll go with him. If Avraham loses" Haran is that, you know, he's a professional. He looks, you know, which which team is going to win and that's who you go with. Avraham was saved, so Haran said, "I'm one of Avraham's men." And he was thrown in and he was killed. Lloyd was the orphan. So you can understand who did Lloyd blame for his evil, for his misfortune? He blamed Avraham. But he was tied to Avraham. The word Lloyd means curse in Aramaic, right? Lloyd, bracha, klala. Klala is l'vaten Lloyd. Finally, Lloyd invests his whole future. I don't need this anymore. I don't need this education. I don't need this. It's too much. I don't need Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Tishrei, Shabbos, Yom Tov. It's too much. Leave me alone. There's a big, nice world out there. He never perhaps captured the soul of Avraham, but that's how Lloyd. And he invests in a new life and it's a macht gut. The world is a good place for him. He finds four beautiful shidduchim. He becomes a Supreme Court Justice. He becomes financially, socially integrated. And he believes in the philosophy of S'dom. He believes in the lifestyle of S'dom. And he comes once a week for a Thanksgiving dinner to Avraham Avinu. Avraham Avinu did Thanksgiving three times a day. But he came, I guess, once a year. He probably paid tribute for shalom zachor, whatever. He came to say, "Uncle, I'm here for you." And that's it. He went back. And suddenly, suddenly, the whole future that you invented for yourself comes crashing down. The whole society looks at you and says, "You are forever an outcast. You want guests in your house? Never. We will not trust your decision. We will hurt you much more than him." You'll hurt me? Me? I'm one of you. I know your poetry better than you. I know your theaters better than you. I know your culture better than you. I know your constitution better than you. I made it to the top. They said, "You are an alien. You're a ger." And when he looks at his sons-in-law and he says, "Come, leave." Vayehi k'metzachek. We always knew you're just a We used you. What do you do now? What do you do emotionally? You hear Did you understand the crisis? On one hand, you know it's time to go. Lloyd is not stupid. He knows these people are not lying. He saw also what they did in the house to the people. He knows it's time to go. But how could he? To say that I have to go means I have to look in the mirror and say, "For 60, 70, 80 years I lived a lie. That's not easy to say. For 50, 60, 70 years I threw my life away believing in something that was worthless, that was vile, that at the end of the day is absolutely disgusting. You know who had the same by his mama? You know who? Many Jews in Germany and Vienna in the 1930s. As a German Jew once told me his father didn't make it, he survived. He says, "You don't understand." He was singing to me German, a secular German Jew, he was singing German poetry, better than Germans. Germans were great poets, great scientists, great musicians, very talented people, very cultured people. They weren't barbarians in that sense. In terms of culture, they were brilliant. And he told me that he was the valedictorian. And the valedictorian the day the night before his mother got a call and said that uh the Gestapo said no way, a Jew could not be the valedictorian. I think 1935 or 36, it was just the beginning. And he says, "But I would not believe that this was Germany. I blamed it on a few crazy people." And he starts singing, I met him in a shul once on Pesach in Connecticut by my sister, and he starts singing to me Goethe and Schiller, their poems, he's singing, and he's still a German at heart. Then they they they burnt his his father in a concentration camp, they brought him the ashes. This is before the before the world began. And he lived the whole war in Germany as a fa- he looked a little bit blonde, so he lived as an Aryan, as a German, with his mother. So, he was a Jew who lived in Berlin throughout the war, and he survived. Until today he knows what the Germans did, but emotionally he's still in love with the culture of the country. It was hard for Jews to believe. Jews were more German than Germans. The levels of assimilation in Germany and Vienna were extraordinary. In the mid-1800s, around 40% of Berlin Jewry converted to Christianity by volition because they wanted to be integrated, and they became integrated. The levels of intermarriage, their integration in all the fields. The first and last foreign minister of Germany was a Jew. He was murdered in 1922. Rathenau, Rathenau. The Secretary of State of Germany after the First World War was a Jew. The scientists, including an Einstein and a Freud. Okay, they both left. The musicians, including a a Felix Mendelssohn. You're dealing with in terms of science and art and music and politics and law and financial success, German Jewry was on top of the game. And then came the 1930s, and they started to to hear this venom, and they couldn't believe it. They said Hitler's on a sugar knee, he's having a bad day, you got to send him to therapy. They couldn't believe it. They read Mein Kampf, he's exaggerating, a nuch shlop. A tzudreiter nuch a tzudreiter. Very many couldn't believe it. By you sh'mama. By you sh'mama. Lot was forced to get out. Some of them, nobody held their hand to go out. In the late 1950s, Leon Festinger coined the phrase cognitive dissonance. You ever heard of cognitive dissonance? Cognitive dissonance means cognitive dissonance. It's painful to live with dissonance. When you have two truths that conflict, and they pull you in different directions, it's unbearable. It's too much. So, what do you do? You deny one of them, or at least you reduce the truth of one of them, cuz it's you can't live in contradiction. You can't live in paradox. That's the by you sh'mama. He can't just go on. He can't just say it was all one big sheker. It was one big deceptive lie. It's not who I am. It's so so painful to do that. To look at the mirror that way, and therefore you're still hoping that no no no, maybe the last minute is no more change. Maybe it's not so bad. Maybe I don't have to leave. By you sh'mama. Now do you understand why Lot's wife turned around? Festinger has another phrase. It's called post-decision dissonance. You know what post-decision dissonance means? Even after you make a decision, you can't be at peace. It's too difficult. So, what do you do? You keep on looking back. It's not physically, it's emotionally. You keep on looking back. You keep on looking back. The malach said, "Don't look back. That is evil. That is destruction for you. Don't look back. It's not a beautiful life. It's a horrible life. Don't look back. You lived it, learn from it, but don't look back. Don't go back, cuz if you look back, you go back. When you look back, you go back. You end up in the abyss, cuz that's what the devil does. That's called post-decision dissonance. Because the harder the decision, the more that you delay it. And the more you delay it, the more you keep on looking back. That's the story of by you sh'mama. So, the malachim have to grab him and his wife and his two daughters and say out because he can't get himself to do it. He's stuck in this extraordinary quandary, in this extraordinary dilemma. And that's why you'll see a very fascinating thing, and that is after each shalsheles, you have you could look at any Chumash, after each shalsheles, a shalsheles is always the first word of a pasuk. Do you realize that? By you sh'mama, vayomar, vayishlach, vayimoin, always the first word of a pasuk. And after the shalsheles, you'll always be a psuk. A psuk, a line which we would call an exclamation point. Why? It's almost like God is saying, "You're stuck. It's time to make a psuk, a psak. Make a decision." Don't get out of your shalsheles. After every shalsheles, there'll be a psuk. Why? That's the that's the counterpart. That's the counterbalance. You're stuck in by you sh'mama, make a psuk. Now now, dear friends, contrast this with Lot's uncle. The old-fashioned isolated, segregated Jew Avram who Lot spent his life running away from emotionally and physically. Look at him. Avram never told the people around them, "Some just like you." Never. He never invested his life on being like other people. In fact, he even needs a burial plot for his wife, and he's pleading. How does he introduce himself? Ger v'soishav anochi imach. I'm a citizen, but I'm a ger. I'm an outsider. Look at me, I'm an outsider. I'm a toshav. I pay taxes. Dina d'malchusa dina, I'm a good citizen, I'm loyal, but you should know I'm a ger. I'm an alien. I don't live like you. The exact opposite, Lot becomes a judge, and they tell him, "You're a ger." Avram says, "I'm a ger." You would look at You would think they would look at him, and they would say, "Get out." Avram works with them. He fights a war. He fights a war for the five kings, including the king of S'dom. He's a great Samaritan, and he feeds three Arab Bedouins, and extends himself. He's not a tribal, parochial isolationist who lives in a cocoon and can't look at the world. Vayikra sham b'shem Hashem Keil Elohim Avram. He's a revolutionary, and he's ready to transform the world, but he never surrenders his identity. On the contrary, he's going to transform, not be transformed. He knows who he is. Ger v'soishav anochi imach. And the b'nei cheis, look at Avram Avinu, and they say to him, "N'si Elohim atah b'soicheinu." You're a prince of God. You're a royal divine aristocrat. That's Lot versus Avram. Lot strives his whole life to get rid of his identity, to integrate, and in a moment of truth they say, "A noice. Don't dare tell us how to run our country, we will hurt you even more." Avram Avinu is always true to his core, to himself, and all they have to say to him is "N'si Elohim atah b'soicheinu." You're a prince of God in our midst. And if you look at history, you will see it's an equation that has not changed. Non-Jews respect Jews who deeply respect Judaism, and not only they respect it in their own little hole, in their own little shtiebel, in their own little shul, shuddis, in their own little shiur. They respect Judaism as the Bnei Yisachar says in the Megillah, "Ish Yehudi haya b'Shushan Habirah u'shmo Mordechai." There was only one Jew in Shushan Habirah. There were many Jews in Shushan Habirah. So, the Bnei Yisachar says, "No no no, there were many Jews in Shushan Habirah, but they were all in the shtieblach, or they were eating by a shveitzer's smorgasbord, one of the two extremes." "Ish Yehudi haya b'Shushan Habirah." There was one man who was a Jew in Shushan Habirah, he was a Jew. He wasn't embarrassed. He wasn't ashamed. His He was made up of deep spiritual confidence. But Shushan Habirah, he was a Jew. Everyone else said, "Bow. You have to bow. You have to bow. You got to integrate." Ahashverosh is inviting you to a meal. You're going to get pictures with the White House. Finally, the New York Times will feature you on the first page, the Shushan Times. And they told Mordechai, "You're sugar in the yogurt and stuck with her." But at the end, Mordechai had the little bit of schmaltz. Because non-Jews are embarrassed by Jews who are embarrassed by Judaism. Never be ambivalent about who you are and about what you are. But here, it finally goes one step deeper and we'll see here a little bit of the niflaos, the stupendous wonders of Torah. Rava says a person is obligated to become intoxicated on Purim. You remember this Gemara? Until you don't know the difference between Haman is cursed and Mordechai is blessed. Okay. Till Rava, nobody believed you have to get drunk on Purim. Rava lived hundreds of years. Rava was born in the year 299 after the common era. That's 200 more than 200 years after the Beit Hamikdash. Beit Hamikdash happened hundreds of years after Purim. So, Rava lived more than a half a millennium after Purim. 6 700 years. Nobody ever said you have to get drunk on Purim. Rava was the first one. Next, Brachot 30A. Rava, there's a reish missing here. Rava have a shashe mikom maila b'pesach. You know what Rava used to do a whole night of Pesach? What do you do a whole night of Pesach? Everybody's stressed out, right? Erev Pesach, unless you're in a hotel, then you're even more stressed. But people are stressed out Erev Pesach. In a hotel, you're stressed out because you don't know what to do. And at home, you're stressed out because it's Pesach. And Erev Pesach, people are stressed. One of my uh not such bad habits is I like to play the piano sometime. So, my parents My parents' home, they have a beautiful piano. What are those pianos called? Those uh Huh? Yeah, one of the baby grands. A very beautiful piano. They always had on the upstairs. So, it was Erev Pesach uh I don't know, like 10 minutes before licht zinden. So, I had an urge to have the taiva to play the piano. So, I sat down by the piano and started to play music. So, I have a shachen. I was living in Crown Heights. I have a my neighbor. He goes out to the porch. He says, "Why are you playing music? It's 10 years before I don't have I don't have matzah. I don't have maror. I don't have charoset. I don't have wine. I don't have a seder. I don't have anything. Where do you have the chutzpah? But the windows were open. Du spielst a piano." "Where did you get this chutzpah from? Come help me make a seder. I have to grind maror and I have to check the salt. You remember you have to squeeze the orange juice." So, Erev Pesach is an avodah. This is pre-hotel days. And some holy Jews do all these things. And a regular lot of Jews. So, I told him, "Listen, my taiva shachen. I'm afraid that people like you are going to forget that the essence of Pesach is liberty, freedom, emancipation. You get so caught up in everything you have to do, you don't sit back, smell the air, and say, 'What does it mean to be a free person?' You're not going to You're going to forget how to fly, how to dance, how to soar. So, that's why I'm the guy who sits down right before licht zinden by the piano as though there's no issues going on, just to remind you that this is a time of freedom and liberty. And to his credit, he said, "You know, you're so right. Now, let me go buy Let me go make charoset and maror and and whatever he had to make." So, look what Rava used to do. Where did I get this from? Rava. The Gemara says Rava a whole Erev Pesach, he used to drink. You Who's Who's drinking all that at Pesach? Meleches mekom migaish mishraish. Everyone is stressed out Erev Rosh Hashanah, Erev Yom Kippur, Erev Pesach, and Hoshana Rabbah. It's a mitzvah to be frustrated, annoyed, stressed out, and not relaxed. Why? Nobody knows. There's nothing to do. What are people doing Erev Yom Kippur? What do you have to do Erev Yom Kippur? But it's an internal anxiety. Okay. Erev Rosh Hashanah, it's very deep anxiety. Now, some anxiety, eima s'adin, is a good thing. But when anxiety turns you into a uh frustrated, annoyed person, you can't serve God. Even though it was Hashem b'simcha even Erev Yom Kippur, even Erev Rosh Hashanah. So, Rava used to drink Erev Pesach. Why? Kehaicha d'neirav d'negarer leliba v'neichal matzah tvei. Cuz Rava said, "You drink. You'll ask the doctors, they'll tell you, the heart opens up and the matzah is much more gishmak. You can eat more matzah and it's gishmak." So, we see here two stories about Rava and they both have to do with drinking. Purim, he says everybody should drink. And Erev Pesach, where there's no mitzvah to drink, Rava is also This is a real taiva mail. How do you explain this? How do you explain this? So, Rav Avraham Hiskuni writes, they explain it from an Ariza. The Ariza in the Likutei Torah He has a sefer Likutei Torah. Asks Says in Lech Lecha, Vayikach es Lot v'es rechushei ben achi Avram. The kings, Kedorlaomer and his colleagues, went and they destroyed the king of S'dom and his empire. And who did they kidnap? They kidnapped Lot v'es rechushei, his property, the son of the brother of Avram, and they left and he was in S'dom. You see something strange in this pasuk? What's very strange in this pasuk? Really doesn't make sense. Yeah. It had to say vayikach es Lot ben achi Avram v'es rechushei. You don't say you took Lot and you took his property, which was the son of Avram. Your property is not related to Avram. Vayikach es Lot, they took Lot ben achi Avram. Lot is the nephew of Avram. V'es rechushei. Right? Or say vayikach es rechushei Lot v'es Lot. So, the Ariza says that here, Moshe Rabbeinu intimated something deeper. Rechushei ben achi is the acronym of the name Rava. Reish veis aleph. Rechushei achi ben achi. You see, they took Lot. But Lot also was holding on to a rechush. He was holding on to a property. And that property was the soul of Rava. Rava, who was considered one of the greatest Talmudic sages in history, lived in the fourth century after the common era, the rosh yeshiva of Machoza in Bavel, the colleague of Abaye. When the Gemara wants to describe Torah Shebaal Peh, it calls it havaya d' Abaye v'Rava. The learning of Abaye and Rava, those two. Cuz Abaye and Rava are the two colleagues who dispute and argue and talk throughout the whole Shas. Do you know how many arguments are between Abaye and Rava in Shas, anybody? 428. 428 arguments constantly. Anybody wants to list them? arguments in Abaye and Rava. You're already Googling to see if Rabbi Why I made a mistake. Yeah? So, Google it and let me know. Let me know if I'm off. I also Googled it. Don't worry. It's fine. It'll be aidem amakrishem zeh zeh. A pesha asah pesha hitah. Abaye and Rava have 428 arguments. They represent Torah Shebaal Peh. Rava Lot was carrying up Rava's soul. Rava's soul comes from Lot's seed. From Lot From his From Namah minus from Ammon, which comes from Lot's daughters. That's Rava's soul. Rava is the core of Torah Shebaal Peh. So, the Megaleh Amukos says, before Jews got Torah Shebiksav by Matan Torah, they had to go to Mitzrayim. Before They had to go to Mitzrayim. But who does everything? Avram. Maaseh avos siman l'banim. So, first he had to go down to Mitzrayim. Where did Jews get Torah Shebaal Peh? They got Torah Shebaal Peh in Bavel. They got Torah in Babylonia. And therefore, Avram had to fight a war with all these malachim. Some of them were from Bavel, near Bavel. And that's where he got the soul of Rava, the soul of Rava, which is the source of Torah Shebaal Peh, was embedded in Lot. When Lot was being kidnapped, it wasn't Lot would be lost. Lot would be lost, but also Rava's soul would be lost. Now, the connection between Rava and Lot is a profound one and a complicated one cabalistically. It's not for today. But that's where the Ariza says, rechushei ben achi Avram. And he even continues and he says it came in a few minutes. He also says in the next pasuk, it says in Lech Lecha, when Avram Avinu liberates Lot and he liberates all the people of S'dom. And the king of S'dom tells him, "Ten li nefesh v'harechus kach lach." Take the soul. Give me the souls and take all the money. And Avram Avinu says, "I'm not taking your money." But Avram Avinu does say one thing. Bil'adai rak asher achlu hana'arim. One thing I'm going to take. I'm going to take that which my youth My youth My youth consumed. That's what I'm going to take. So, the Ariza says, bil'adai rak asher, I'm only going to take is also beis reish aleph, is also Rava. And Avram also has the three letters aleph veis reish, is also Rava. If that's the case, Rav Avraham Hiskuni writes, what happened with Lot at the end? Lot became a drunk. Lot, who ultimately was such a conflicted soul, what do people do after they experience such profound conflict? You know what people do? What do people do with cognitive dissonance? Unless you're ready to face your demons and face what's going on, sometimes you go to the bottle, right? That's what Noach did after the flood, and that's what Lot's daughters decide to do. Vayashkehu savinu yayin, Lot becomes an inebriated person, and the rest is history. Rava, whose neshama comes from Lot, deals with drinking in the Gemara. Rava's objective is to fix, to repair the intoxication of Lot, and therefore Rava focuses on the wine of Purim, which is ad d'lo yada, which is could drink to a similar situation like Lot, when people are so smashed or drunk you never know what they can do. The Gemara continues over there the story come Rava shachtei l'Avinun which we explained in the shiur right before Purim. What pshat that Rava slaughtered Avinun? Rava was Rava's teacher, one of Rava's teachers, and he slaughtered Avinun by seudas Purim. Okay, we explained what that meant at length. So, Rava fixes up Lot by going back into that space and fixing the wine. Erev Pesach to be able to open it up for matzah, and Purim to be able to experience an ad d'lo yada. In other words, Rava takes the energy of Lot and sublimates it since it's his soul comes from Rava. Now, Rava has an interesting statement in Gemara that's very difficult, but in light of the shiur I think it will become clear. Sakta Gemara in Sotah hey, amar Reb Chiya bar Ashi amar Rav, talmid chacham tzarich sheyihei achas mishmona b'shmona shemanis. A talmid chacham has to have an eighth of an eighth of um what people say ga'avah, arrogance. I would call confidence. In other words, a talmid chacham, somebody who's a student of Torah, needs to have a certain sense of self-value. Not too much, he says an eighth of an eighth. An eighth of an eighth is How much is an eighth of an eighth? Sameach gimmel, right? 63rd part. I'm sorry, sameach daled, the 64th part. The Maharsha says because if he'll have one more he'll become a gas, sameach gimmel. He'll become a gas, he'll become a brute arrogant person. But you have to have a certain dosage of internal confidence to know who you are. Amar Reb Huna bar Reb Yehoshua, uma'atarto like issur d'lisha b'ulta. You have to decorate your identity like a crown of a stalk. A stalk of grain on top of it is like a crown, it's a shell, that's what the arrogance has to be like. Do you understand what the moshol is? Okay. Amar Rava, Rava said b'shamta d'isbei or b'shamta d'lasbei. Shamta means a cherem, excommunication. A talmid chacham who has arrogance should be excommunicated. A talmid chacham who doesn't have arrogance should be excommunicated. That's great. So, what is Rava telling us? If you have Right? So, you can't live with him, you can't live without him. Rava says you can't live with it, if you're with it you're out. I'm not going to listen to you. But if you don't have it, you're also out. So, what's the position of Rava? B'shamta d'isbei or b'shamta d'lasbei? What is Rava trying to tell me? Should a talmid chacham say, "Okay, I'm a piece of dust, I'm a nobody, step on me." Then he says shamta, "You're out." And if not, va'yit b'shamta. What is Rava telling us here? Rava is helping us repair the mistake of Lot. The vayishmama of Lot. Rava is saying it's in this paradox that the talmid chacham thrives. It's in this in this vacillation that the person excels. Reb Simcha Bunim of Pshischa said you have to have two pieces of paper in the two pockets. In one pocket you have to have a piece of paper that says chayev adam lomar bishvili nivra oilam, the world was created for me. In another piece of paper you have to have a paper that says va'anochi afar va'efer. So, which one is it? Bishvili nivra oilam or anochi afar va'efer? On one level a person ought never to take themselves seriously. Never to take their ego seriously. Never to disagree and become disagreeable. Never to make things personal and to allow your egotistical shell to take over your life. But rather, humility is the key feature that allows a person to be real, divine, and grow. That's why Rava said a talmid chacham who does who has who's who has arrogance is b'shamta, he's not a talmid chacham. On the other hand, that the danger of that is that the person completely loses their identity, they don't know who they are anymore. And they don't appreciate their life, they don't value their decisions, they don't realize the indispensability of their days and the significance of their resources. The bishvili nivra oilam, there's something in you that the whole world is waiting for. And if therefore you don't live up to who you are, something will forever be lost in history. Nobody before you and nobody after you will ever be able to fulfill that. Bishvili, how can I say bishvili nivra oilam and you also, we're both meshuga? We're both needs we're both crazy? You say the whole world was for me, I say the whole world was for me. I How do you do that? How do you say? A Yid once told me he went to a shul to speak. He was speaking in a shul. So, he said over a letter from the Baal Shem Tov the Baal Shem A letter from the Baal Shem Tov to Reb Gershon Kitover that he had aliyah on Rosh Hashanah taf kuf zayin, 1846. I'm sorry, 1746. And the Baal Shem Tov says, it's a printed letter in Ben Porat Yosef. He went to the He when he had a his neshama went up and he went to the heichal of Mashiach and he asked Mashiach, "Eimasai ka'asi Mar, when are you going to come?" So, Mashiach quoted a posuk in Mishlei, "L'chei yafutzu mayanosecha chutzah." When your wellsprings will be spread out everywhere, to the furthest corners of the universe, including Monsey. L'chei yafutzu mayanosecha chutzah, then I could come. So, this Yid in shul in in Brooklyn chazered over this uh this uh this this vort in the Baal Shem Tov. So, there was a Yid sitting in the back of the shul, he said, "A chedenknish." I don't remember. So, he said it's printed in Ben Porat Yosef in the back, a letter of He says, "A chedenknish, I don't remember." So, he said it's printed here, you could look it up here. "A chedenknish." So, formerly the Rav told him you don't have to This Jew decided he's Mashiach. So, he says, "A chedenknish, I don't remember that I ever had such a conversation with the Baal Shem Tov." That's what he meant. The speaker thought he doesn't remember where it's printed. He says, "A chedenknish, I don't remember, I never had such a conversation." Okay? So, I I I say bishvili nivra oilam, you say bishvili nivra oilam. And he says bishvili nivra oilam, you say bishvili nivra oilam. Is that the pshat that the person ought to understand that there's something in my life and the entire that is so significant that all of history is at stake for that. And in that sense the world was created for me, for nobody else. There's something else the world was created for you, and every person the same thing, chayev adam lomar. But then anochi afar va'efer. The tragedy of Lot was The tragedy of Lot was he couldn't master that balance that Avraham Avinu had, that true humility creates true pride. And true pride creates true humility. Avraham Avinu always knew who he was. He was never embarrassed of who he was. And therefore he says gave a search of aniyim ochlim. And therefore they told him the seal had come out of Pesach Einayim. I'll never forget, and I'll conclude with this. I was once invited to speak by the Pentagon. I was invited to speak to the chief of chaplains of the US Army. It's a whole long story, I once shared part of it, but I just want to tell you one line. So, I spoke there. And then I was invited I said I was invited a few times afterwards. It was in uh in in South Carolina. In South Carolina um they have a retreat for the chaplains of the US Army. Mostly non-Jews. Hundreds and hundreds of people, or thousands of people, at least a thousand people or more. And uh I don't know there were maybe 11 Jews there. Most of them were chaplains of the US Army, so they serve the US Army, which is mostly non-Jews. For some reason most Jews don't go into the US Army, they like real estate better. But uh so there's not many Jews, there were a few Muslims, there was a maybe a Hindu, a Buddhist, a few, and uh and and and a few Jews, including my friend Colonel Goldstein, Jake Goldstein, who was the shatchen, and uh the only chaplain with with with a beard in the US Army, got a special heter. I said to the Yid, "And uh and then the rest was uh was Episcopalian and then of course Catholic and Protestant and Baptist and so forth." So, how I got the job is is a ganz a maiseh, it's a whole parsha b'fnei atzmo, fascinating story, but it's not for now, it's a long story. So, I spoke there. The chief of chaplains at the time was a man named Douglas L. Carver, nice Yeshivish name. And uh Douglas L. Carver is a Baptist, a Baptist by training, and he rose to the top to become the chief of chaplains of the entire US Army, that includes the military, the Navy, and the Air Air Force. And uh he introduced me. Uh uh he spoke after me. So, what I spoke I spoke for an hour, whatever I spoke. And uh I have to tell you speak I speak a lot to Jews. And I also have spoken often to non-Jews. Speaking to non-Jews is a very different experience than speaking to Jews, because non-Jews actually listen. For Jews, it's very hard to listen to a speech. Most Jews, they have opinions. They don't listen, they form opinions as you're talking. You'll see this. I know from I I know from a lot of experience. It's very hard for Jews to actually listen to what the person is saying. Every Jew is sitting and saying, "Oh, that's a good one." You're not listening. This I'm going to use next Shabbos. Every Jew. This this I'm going to use. This I'm going to say over. Ah, this one I heard already. Ah, this shiur he said 3 years ago. Vos zucht er noch amol? Why did I have to waste my time Sunday morning to come? I heard it already. Right? And if you tell a joke he whispers the end of the joke, that's how it is. don't have that yetzer hara, they have different yetzer haras. They also shut off their cell phones, Jews don't do that, cuz every Jew thinks Trump is going to call him soon to find out how to run the country. don't have that issue. It's a different It's a different mussar. Also, most Jews they sit like this for the first half of the show, they sit like this. And this always means don't get close to me. That's the say, though. Maybe a middle. Maybe a middle. If you melt them, they take off. You could take it off already. Can't stop shaving. It's already the end of the show. Don't worry. But it's a psychological thing. You ever saw Jews like this? Like don't get close. Like We like to create an emotional an emotional distance. Non-Jews actually want to be moved. They actually want to be It's a It's a It's a It's a whole different It's a whole different mile. Among Jews themselves, religious Jews are much harder to speak to. Because first of all, who are you to tell me? That's number one. Second of all, I know everything. Third of all, why do they come? They come for me. Third of all, I just really never heard of them. I just told you. And I don't care for a waiver. Third of all, and this is maybe the deepest thing. From Jews grew up hearing speeches. And usually they're coming out of their ears. There's nothing they didn't hear. They heard that they were showy, scotches, horrible, they're going to act. They heard everything about them, how bad they are. They heard it and they hear it non-stop. We grow up in a culture of speeches, of sermons, of drashas, of torahs, of shalah shudas, of musar, and so forth. So by definition, we're already sick of it. So we sit down, you're guilty till proven innocent. By Jews, you're guilty till proven innocent. By nature, there's nothing to hear. And the have the have their things, but in this union, it's a gevaldige union to speak to them. Nobody sits like this. They sit like this. And they give feedback in middle of talking, which Jews don't know how to do. Jews at best, at the end, they say "Shkoyach." And even that, they don't spell out cuz they don't want to be vulnerable. It's very hard to say to a Jew "Thank you. That was meaningful." You don't say these words. You say "Shkoyach." "Shkoyach." Sometimes you'll say "Not bad." But uh non-Jews in middle of the speech, I'm like finishing a sentence and they're like "Yes, Rabbi!" "Amen! Halleluka!" Now imagine you start doing that. Imagine in the middle and you say "Yes! Go! Go! Go! Go!" That's what they were doing. You have a thousand people sitting. And they're like "Yeah! Awesome! Amen! Halleluka! God bless him. God bless him. God bless him." You know what I mean? Right? So they're actually experiencing something. In their own way, they're experiencing something. There's also one more thing about this. I hate to say this. They know the Bible. So when you say a possuk, they finish it. With Jews, you never have that happen. They finished learning daf yomi. How would they They don't have time for the Bible. Jews, that doesn't happen. They don't finish psukim. They finish I'm like Genesis 40 and they do it, you know? 43, yeah, and Joseph said Okay. Anyway, I finished the I finished the speech and I do my thing and Douglas L. Uh Carver gets up. And he says, so you have to understand now, different Christian preachers speak different ways. The Baptists is the beginning of kol kolos my son. They holler. They scream. They They They let their souls go out. Nafshi yotzei b'daber. Douglas Carver is a Baptist by training. Now he's the He was the head of the whole US Army Chaplaincy. But so he gets up and he says "You know," he thanked me and he gave chazarah of what I said. He gave a five-minute chazarah of the whole shiur, which was interesting. That you'll also won't have a Jew doing. So they should all remember it. And then he says "I just want to say, you know, I was listening to Rabbi Jacobson speak and the way he speaks and the passion he displays when he speaks, it's obvious to me that he spent time by the Baptists. It's obvious. He learned by us. He was trained by us. It's obvious." Okay. So everybody like you starts giggling. Everybody starts giggling. It was funny. I'm standing there. I look more or less like I look here with my yarmulke, with payos. I was wearing a suit with a tie. And uh I had my tzitzis, you know, hanging out, but I was tucked in like now. And uh he's ready to move on. So now I had my vayishma mama moment. I'm not going to say it was as dramatic. It also lasted for a second or a millisecond. But I had a dilemma. What was my dilemma? You know what my dilemma was. He was joking. I don't think he thought that I grew up by the Baptists. I certainly didn't look it. But on the other hand, Baptists is a sect of Christianity. Christianity is avodah zarah. Maybe not for a non-Jew, right? According to the Ramah that bnei Noach are not mitzuveh on shituf. They're allowed to. It's fine. Works. But for a Jew, certainly it doesn't work. Even as a joke, I felt it was uh something that I had to uh uh respond to. On the other hand, it wasn't batamt. I just got tremendous honor from them. Um uh He was He was extolling virtues. I mean, I'm not going to tell them all to you. You can ask my mother. Uh Or my shviger, even. And uh and he's the Chief of Chaplains of the US Army. I don't know, two, three, four-star general. I don't know, but a lot of stars. And in the army, it's not like by us. You say whatever you want to anybody. You say something wrong, it's 600 push-ups. Yeah? When In the morning, everybody's like this. You know, you walk over, everybody says "Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!" And Dr. Colonel Goldstein says "Rabbi Jacobson, don't salute cuz you don't know how to do it. And if you salute the wrong way, it's like 250 push-ups, 250 push-ups." Now I wasn't about to do 600 push-ups over there by interrupting Douglas Carver. On the other hand, I'm saying he's joking anyway. The guy's joking. Be be Have a little humor. Then I thought to myself, this is all in my mind, of course. I thought to myself, one second. We all know I know the truths of Jewish history very well. The only reason I'm here today in the 21st century speaking in South Carolina to a thousands or hundreds of of of Christian chaplains is only because I had grandparents, grandmothers, grandfathers, great great grandmothers and grandfathers who literally sacrificed their life to remain Jewish. Every Jew alive today, somewhere in the link, there's somebody who literally put their life in jeopardy to remain Jewish. Whether it was 200 years ago, 100 years ago, 50, 70 years ago, or uh or 900 years ago. That's the only reason we're here cuz we weren't supposed to be here. And they did this not in the comfort of a hotel in South Carolina. They did this under duress and sometimes under the danger of dying like so many did. Whether it was during the Crusades or somebody at them they had the ability to convert to Christianity and they refused and died. And some escaped and some survived. So they were ready to sacrifice their life to say that they will not kiss the cross. That they will not deny Hashem echad. And here in free America, I'm going to stand up and he makes a joke that I I I was at the Baptists and I'm not going to say anything in freedom? Because it's going to be disrespectful? I felt it was a betrayal of my uh my ancestry, a betrayal of my people, a betrayal of my history. And then there's another voice in me and says "Stop with this Jewish obsessive guilt. Meshuggener that you are. You gave a beautiful speech. You made a kiddush Hashem. Everybody's applauding you. The guy made a stupid joke. It was funny. Move on, you idiot. Come on!" I'm like this Jewish obsession. "You're learning Gemara too much. It's not a maran shif. The guy made a joke. Let's Let's stop with your pilpulim." And I'm going back and forth, back and forth. What am I supposed to do? There's no siman in Shulchan Aruch about this. There's no clear psak din. What am I going to It's a moment to you know, it's a moment in your heart. You have to make a decision. Then I think to myself, you know, they didn't invite me because of my looks. Maybe, but I don't think so. They didn't invite me because of my brains. I don't think so. They didn't invite me cuz my name is Yisroel Yitzchok Jacobson. They invited me as a representative of the Jewish people. So it's not really about me. They didn't invite me as an individual who lives in New York and they wanted They wanted to see my face. They invited me as somebody to speak on behalf of the Jewish people, which they represented them. So it's really not about me. It's about the Jewish people. And I have a duty to the Jewish people. So it was not difficult for me. It was I'm sorry. It was not It was very difficult for me. And after this dilemma, I decided I'm interrupting him. And I interrupted him. He was in the middle of talking. And I interrupted him, which you don't do. You don't interrupt. Again, it's not like by us, where you dafka interrupt. You don't know People don't know what it means not to interrupt, right? You're having a conversation with somebody, somebody walks in and says "By the way, excuse me" doesn't exist. It's past nach. But over there, you don't interrupt, especially not Carver. I interrupted him. And I said "Excuse me. I have to correct something. You said that I spent time by the Baptists. That's where I got my passion from. So let me just say it on the record. The Baptists learned it all from us. That's what happened. The Baptists learned it from the Jews." You know what happened? They all started to applaud. They gave me a thundering applause, like you did. Not all of you, but some of you. Those who are less restricted. And they went on. And Carver also applauded me. He's standing there. He went like this and then he continued. I thought to myself, "Isn't that strange?" When he said, "I learned by the Baptists." Nobody applauded. They giggled. They found it funny. When I said, "No, you learned it from me. You learned it from us." They started to applaud me. Why? Should have been the other way around if anything. And then I realized, as I was looking in their eyes, this profound and historic truth in a very deep emotional way that many Jews don't realize. It made them feel better about themselves when I claimed and maintained my distinctive Jewish identity and the role of the Jewish people in the history of civilization. Somehow, it made them more comfortable in their own skin. It made them feel that they're living in a safer world. In a better world, in a more clear, decisive, and spiritually clear world, a world of clarity when the Jew knew who he was and who he was not. When he said, "I came and I learned it from the Baptist." It was funny. It was cute, no question. When I said, "You learned it from us. We stood at Mount Sinai and we were the embas- we are the ambassadors of God in this world." It made them feel better not only about me but also about themselves. It made them feel more comfortable in their own skin. Why? Because they know truth. They sense truth. People sense truth. And the truth is that the Jew was chosen to be the moral teacher of the world. The light unto the nations. Even though most Jews today were still uncomfortable with this, especially religious Jews who should be the most comfortable with this, are the least comfortable with it. I'm not going to analyze now the reasons for it, but we have spent 2,000 years in exile and we learned to be embarrassed. And we also were not in a very nice world. Let's face it. I mean, it's not just our issue, right? We lived treme- through tremendous hostility, never mind the last century what Jews went through. So, we tend, especially, to to to run, to curse to curse the world. But the vision of humanity, the vision of Abraham Avinu was not to curse the world. The vision of Abraham Avinu was to change the world, to transform the world. We say it three times in Alenu. The second Avinu Avinu, that's the vision of the world, that's the vision of Yiddishkeit. The Rambam says in Hilchos Melachim Zion that at Ma'amad Har Sinai, Moshe gave every Jew a commandment to be responsible that every non-Jew observes the seven mitzvahs of Bnei Noach. This is a secondary Rambam, Halacha l'Moshe miSinai. Could have we done it most of our history? No. We were busy trying to survive. Go to a non-Jew in Spain and tell him you have to observe the seven mitzvahs of Bnei Noach. Me'ir es Nishmas Gefelt. Today, we actually live in that time. Today, the non-Jew would love to hear a message from the Jew. Today, most non-Jews would love to hear spiritual clarity from Jews. But for this, Jews can't stutter. For this, you have to have not arrogance, but deep spiritual confidence, which comes with humility. Who taught this? A rabba. Beshamta de Isbe. But Beshamta de Lesbe. If you become arrogant, you're dangerous. But if you decide that you're worthless, you become equally dangerous. You become even more dangerous. And somehow, I experienced then at that moment was that me standing up to the fact that I'm a Jew and I'll never lie to you about that. And therefore, we are the ones who were chosen to teach the world about ethics, spirituality, truth, kindness, and goodness. They felt the truth in it. And it's like when a child feels that Mommy is being Mommy and Tatty is being Tatty they're safer in their own house. When children feel that the teacher is being a teacher and not a baby, they feel they feel safer in their own classroom. And when the world feels that Jews are being Jews they feel deeper respect and admiration towards the Jewish people. If there will ever be a day that the world will love the Jewish people it's when the Jewish people will love the Jewish people. If there will be a day that the world will finally accept Israel it's when Israel will accept Israel. Which we still have not reached yet. And if there will ever be a day that the world will truly look up to the Jewish people, it's when the Jewish people will internally truly embrace their destiny without a shalsheles. Have a wonderful week. This class is brought to you by the Yeshiva.net. Please help us continue the classes. Make even a small contribution at www.theyeshiva.net/donate.