Decades Have Passed Since the Abuse, But Has My Family Changed?

okay today's class is dedicated by our dear friends Liz and Dr Michael Michelle she's with us today in loving memory and tribute to the 24th yard site of Mrs Michelle's father Ben whose yard set is going to be this coming shabas the 11th day of Tavis 24th yard site Rabbi Irving Lev ra binyamin is one of the founding fathers of the M Community back in 1952 and uh was one of the great activists and balad and uh leaders and Founders and a good friend of so many people here and uh over the years has contributed immensely to the entire infrastructure of the man Community the tyan and so today's class is dedicated in his memory he was a respected a legendary bad and one of the founders and the pillars of this incredible community so thank you very much and to I should also say that he has six grandchildren today who are serving as soldiers in Gaza in the Army so we want to bless them especially may they and all of them return home safely amen also dedicated by Dina dornbush for Rua complete and speedy recovery for Rifka Beva Bas pessy may she be healthy and well and have her and thank you very much it's also dedicated today's class for the 30th wedding anniversary of our dear friendsa and bloi Calla caller for their 30th wedding anniversary mazeltov happy anniversary may enjoy many many happy healthy beautiful prosperous years with Serenity Tranquility Nas expansive Consciousness and all the blessings thank you the the book of Bas the sa of Bas in Kish certainly is filled with many many very loaded intense and dramatic moments but probably one can say that its most dramatic moment or certainly one of the most dramatic moments in the whole Bas and probably the whole of Tanakh happens in the beginning of parash when YF reveals himself to his brothers after 22 years of separation estrangement and isolation every year when you read it again and again you could start crying once again of how the tah which usually doesn't describe scenes in such an emotional way but more tells you of the facts and then you have to read the emotions between the lines but here goes out of its way to capture the emotions of Yehuda and YF and all of the brothers when he told them those two faithful words I am is my father still alive and the brothers can't even respond they're simply overwhelmed and it's a story a long story that comes to a climax and some form of closure in this week's par parash when you go through the entire story and all of the portions from mik the second second half of baras is dedicated to this story story of YF while the first half is dedicated to to the founding fathers of the world Adam and and then yov and The Matriarch the second half from VV is dedicated to YF and his brothers so when you go through the whole story it's obviously you see how all the pieces of the puzzle come together but there's one aspect that remains very perplexing and that's what we want to address today and that is how YF navigates the encounter with his brothers long time before he reveals himself to them there's something happening but it's not very clear the t is not explicit exactly what's happening and let's go through I'll remind you the narrative very briefly and see the main points of where we are challenged and invited to look deeper and try to understand what the theme is what the underlying theme is so we all remember the story YF was 17 years old it's starts off in VV he was shepherding with his brothers they disliked him his father loved him tremendously he made him a very special tunic a multicolorful coat the brothers see this love and they really have very negative feelings to YF the PK says they can't speak to him peacefully and then he has a dream in the first Dream he has all of these she everybody is in the field binding creating bundles creating sheaves of grain but his his sheave his bundle of grain stands up and all of their sheaves bow down to him they tell him so what you're going to become the king you're going to rule over us which only causes more loathing and then he has the second dream where the Sun and the Moon and 11 stars are all bowing down to him and they get even more upset his father rebukes him his father says this is ridiculous what are we all coming to Bow me and your mother everybody's coming to bow about to you and uh the brothers are jealous but it says his father kept it in mind the story continues yob sends ysf to see his brothers in he arrives they plot to kill him ruven is the one who says let's not kill him let's throw him into a a sistern a Bo a pit ruven's intention is to bring him back to his father but uh they listen to Ru his life is saved they throw him into the sister they sit down to eat excuse me and then a caravan of isim come down they're on the way to Egypt and Yehuda is the one who suggests that instead of leaving YF there to die let them sell ysf as a slave and that's what they do ysf is now sold as a slave to ptif in Egypt one of parro's ministers over there he's very successful ful and then his wife P's wife accuses him of promiscuity and he's thrown into prison after 12 years in prison he's at the age of 30 par dreams and he summons YF to interpret the dreams he's so blown away by YF from a prisoner he's appointed to the prime minister of Egypt the Viceroy the second in command to par this is after he interprets the dream that there's going to be seven years of plenty followed by seven years of famine and Egypt needs a whole system in which it's going to be able to ration and put away food during the seven years of plenty for the seven years of famine there's seven years of plenty and indeed afterwards the famine begins and it's a devastating devastating hunger it affects the entire region but in Egypt they were prepared because of y's executive skill and his ability over these seven years of plenty to put away food in each city of Egypt so therefore there is enough food to sustain the nation and people are coming from everywhere to get grain in the land of Egypt this is of course where the story takes the Twist and in Paras Mikes Yakov ainu sees there's grain in Egypt and he tells his children go bring food to us so that the whole family can be sustained they come down to Egypt 10 of the brothers remember there were 12 Brothers of course ysep was now in Egypt the youngest brother was bamin yep's youngest brother his only full brother the only brother that was born from his mother raal everyone else was a half a brother because they had the same father but not the same mother besides bamin so Benyamin stayed back and 10 Brothers went down to Egypt to get food they meet YF they bow down to him he's the ruler he's the he's the Prime Minister he's the vice Roy of Egypt he's the second in command to pyate there's nobody more powerful they bow down to him at that moment ysf recognizes them they do not recognize him the ter says [Music] he remembers the dreams and here of course they're all bowing down to him all the brothers and they're bowing down to him because they want grain sheaves sheaves of grain is what they were looking for so he remembers the dreams that's all the says he remembers the dreams but he speaks to them very harshly he makes believe he's a complete stranger he doesn't know them and he speaks very harshly and he accuses them of Espionage 10 people 10 Brothers came down here You're Not Innocent you're spies and they have this whole conversation no we're innocent no you're spies yes no he arrests them he throws them into incarcerates them into prison for three days after three days he tells them how will I know that you're innocent people and that you're not lying if you bring down that last brother bamin you said that you have a brother home and you're not spies you left one brother home you came here to get food You're All Sons of one father how do I know you're not lying one brother leave here the other ones can go back with your food and bring back your last brother who's back home with his father and if not you're not coming back again and your brother stays here and he takes Shimon and Shimon Remains The Prisoner as they are all dismissed to go home at this moment the brother look at each other and they say to each other we're guilty for this why are we guilty we're guilty because years ago we saw the distress of our brother who pleaded with us not to do what we did and we ignored him of course this reminds them of what happened more than 20 years earlier when they threw YF into the pit and sold him into slavery so what now happens is they are extremely remorseful and Y actually turns away and starts crying when he hears their remorse when he hears their remorse of how they regret what they did and they say today we're guilty we're guilty in what happened because we were deaf to the cries of our brother and of course they're referring to him to YF as the T says they don't know that he understands anything they're saying because officially he doesn't understand Hebrew and there's an interpreter and a translator so nobody understands each other he's speaking his language they're speaking their language they have no way of knowing that what they're talking to each other in their own language The Interpreter obviously wouldn't understand what they're talking about how would he know the history and how would they know that the the the the vice were understands their language and it's actually they're talking about him so YF turns away to cry and he takes shim and he sends them off he sends them back back home on the way home one of them discovers the money in his bag in other words the money was returned to him they're very scared what is going on what as they say what is Hashem doing to us and when they come home they discover that all of them have the money in their sacks in other words the money they gave to pay for their grain was returned to them plus the grain something is very fishy they tell Yakov the whole story and Yakov says you cannot take byy I've already lost my son YF this is his only brother left you take him and what if he dies and now I'm going to be finished YF is gone shim is gone cuz shim is in prison in Egypt and now bamin is going to be gone Yakov refuses to let bamin go but they're hungry the food is depleted and that's when yud approaches his father and he tells his father I am going to guarantee this boy I'm the one who's taking full responsibility to bring this child back and if I do not bring him back to you as he puts it I will carry the guilt for all the days of my life this is me my I'm putting myself on the line to take full responsibility to bring back this child and begrudgingly Yakov agrees there's no choice to have to feed the family to send back bam when they come back the second time to Egypt things seem much nicer much more babaes y's Steward yep's assistant says don't worry about the money this was a gift from God don't worry we're not accusing you of anything you're invited for a feast with the prime minister they brought him a gift that Yakov prepared for him and things seem beautiful in fact the T says y sets them around the table according to their age and they're astonished by that and then there's that moment of aay they drink and they become intoxicated as Rashi quotes the gar and shabas that since the day they sold y they have not had an ounce of wine they did not drink anyone and Y did not drink anyone and this was the first time even though they didn't know it was him that they had a they all drank together and uh yph gives them gifts but Bin's gifts are five times the amount of the other brothers and they're sent home they're sent home with a lot of grain everything what do they say all is well that ends well they have shim back they have y back this turned out without any incident it was beautiful the vice Roy was nice to them was was kind and graceful to them they're on their way home okay thank God the story seems to end nicely of course this is where the nightmare enfolds as they've Le they're leaving the country and about to go home YF sends the person in charge of his home his Steward and he says one of them stole my Gava my my silver goblet my silver cup up my personal one go and fetch it and he goes and he pursues the brothers and he accuses them of this theft they said it's impossible if somebody stole it he should die of course they can't imagine nobody stole it and he begins the search and it's in binyamin's binyamin's bag the brothers tear their clothes from grief and they all go back to Egypt and they say we'll all be your slaves it's really aim God is is is paying us for the sin of your servants and Y says I don't do that the one who stole he shall be my slave you go back to your father you go back to your father you're not guilty this is a young man who stole my goblet he shall remain here as my slave everybody else goes back and that's how Paras Mikes ends at this moment Yehuda approaches the prime minister of Egypt and he speaks to them and he gives them a very very impassioned speech in the beginning of a it's one of the longest speeches in the whole and the point of it to sum it up is I cannot do this to my father I guaranteed my father that I'm going to bring back my boy their souls are intertwined and interconnected if I come back to our home without bamin my father will die he has been through so much pain with the death of his wife raal and the death of his son for the perceived death of his son y he says and now the death of bam and now The Disappearance of bamin as a slave if I come back my father without him my father is going to die and I have guaranteed him I said I will bring him back and he finishes off he says how can I go back how can I go up to my father without without his child of seeing the suffering that's going to that's going to uh befall my father and this is the moment everything breaks can't contain himself anymore he sends out all of his assistance says there was nobody present when yep reveals himself to his brothers there was no human being there was nobody else there and YF breaks down sobbing and he says I need I am is my father still alive and the brothers simply are silent they cannot say a word they are startled they're startled terrified shocked overwhelmed bewildered [Music] astounded YF then brings them closer and he begins to comfort them he tells them don't get into a depression don't get infuriated you did not sell me Hashem sent me he sent me to save the world from Hunger he sent me to create refuge for the whole family there's going to be another H five years of another hunger another five years of hunger and Hashem sent me here you did not send me he sent me rather go back home tell my father I'm alive and let's all relocate to Egypt where you'll be able to sustain yourselves and the families CU 5 years there will be no food anywhere else and here you will enjoy tremendous prosperity and Grace and blessings and so forth and the story comes to a close they go back home of course they tell Yakov what happened and Yakov and the entire family relocate to Egypt this narrative is clearly explicit in the Torah I just summed it up very briefly one question remains and that is is there a theme here in what ysf was doing when YF meets his brothers first he might have revealed himself to them and say hey I'm y you remember he doesn't do that there is a series of events that you see are seriously orchestrated and you want to understand what are these all about what happens is the first time he meets them immediately immediately he creates obstacles in their path and then he does it again and again their hearts get broken numerous times so the first time he's harsh to them something is wrong they he they see this guy doesn't like them and they're being accused of being Spies of course they weren't spies they were people coming to get food then he arrests them and then he arrests shim and now he demands them to bring binyamin which also seems very difficult for Yakov he knew how much Yakov loved him and loves Benyamin and he is forcing bam to be separated from Yakov even if temporarily he's also forcing Yakov to see that shim is gone when they come back they're without shim so now Yakov has lost two sons YF is gone he thought he was dead and shim is in is in prison in Egypt and then at the end he hides this goblet in the sack of bamin accusing him of being an outright ghav a real Thief who came to the party of the Prime Minister and had nothing better to do than steal his personal goblet and therefore he has to remain a slave for the rest of his life my question is what does ysf want what what is his ambition what is the theme of the story is this a unified theme what is going on here the Torah as usual says the facts it doesn't give us the background what was ysf thinking now we see his grace to his brothers he invites them he tells them not to be upset he tells them not to be depressed he tells them not to be infuriated he says this entire story was orchestrated by Hashem you did not sell me I was sent he invites them he feeds them and their families he treats them like kings like Royals despite everything they did excuse [Music] me despite everything they did He's So Graceful to them but this whole introduction to the story before he reveals himself to them is very very different ysf is extremely tough extremely harsh and is touching so many cord of their hearts what is the intention here of this whole plot so this is what the ma the commentators of the tanak of the struggled with for many many generations different interpretations different perspectives the ramban for example asks this question he says why didn't he just tell them I'm I'm Y and ran says it was all about the dreams he needed the dream he felt the dreams were prophetic and they had to be fulfilled and the dreams claimed that that they're all going to bow down to him the Sun and the Moon and the 11 stars and all the sheaves which means baminos has to bow down to him which means Yakov also was going to bow down to him the Sun and the Moon and all the 11 Stars the 10 Brothers bow down to him but the 11th didn't Yakov didn't so he needed to continue this drama in order to facilitate the dream but others asked on that why couldn't Yakov come down to Egypt why couldn't ysf reveal himself now and Yakov would come down to Egypt and bow down to the Prime Minister even later Yakov bowed down to him after he knew he was ysf at the end of his life Yakov asked y to bury him in when he passes away and yov bows down to Y and also would have bowed down to him in fact he would have facilitated and implemented and executed expedited the Fulfillment of the dreams must much much swifter others not traditional commentators but others said this was about revenge YF said you know they hurt me I'm going to hurt them let me uh let me give them a taste of their own uh their own Kasha as they say their own poison their own music so basically YF is punishing them he's penalizing them yes he arrests them he arrest their brother it's a form of afflicting pain on them but when you read the story even objectively you see that that's not the story and I'll tell you why in the whole tanak there's nobody who cries as many times as YF the Torah mentions people crying but not close to the amount of times that YF cries I counted throughout the story ysep sobs eight times and that's only what the Tor says in MIM there are many more times he sobs but the fact that the T mention at any point when he encount when there's an emotion ysf starts crying he hears that the brothers are are are are remorseful about what they did and Y YF is crying he cries eight times throughout this entire story ultimately he will cry of course when he meets bam and he cries before he reveals himself to his brothers he cries later he cries on Byam and he cries with his brothers he cries of course with his father he cries after his father's death he cries after the brothers talk to him after his father's death when they think he's going to take revenge generally people who are in a modality of Revenge don't cry it's a different attitude it's a different energy they're harsh they're tough this is their enjoyment you could see throughout the whole story how much ysf is feeling his emotions and feeling the pain of this entire story and then when he meet when he finally reveals himself he says don't be upset don't be infuriated this man who was just busy with Revenge those are not the words we would expect for him to come out of his mouth and say this is not really about you this was God this was Hashem is doing so we're left with the question why did yph do all this even if he wanted to delay it a little bit for whatever reason why put them through this Crucible and excruciating excruciating uh Journey the truth is when you read the story carefully it's really an extraordinary tapestry that YF created you don't see it right away at First Sight you have to read deeply into the story but it's addressed with with maybe one of the biggest questions on this whole story why didn't ysf send a message to his father that he was alive he knew that his father loved him his father had a special liking him in fact that was one of the causes that created the whole animosity Egypt is not very far from Israel it's very close even in those days you couldn't fly an hour flight you went on a car you went on a donkey you went on a camel you went on a coach with your coach so it took about a journey of a few days people were coming and going all the time ysf was 30 years old when he became the prime minister of Egypt he was sold into slavery as a 17y old the brothers only came down when he was 38 years old because for seven years of plenty he was 30 and then there was seven years of plenty that's 37 and then started the hunger he was 38 and that's when the brothers came down and then he was 39 the second year and he was sold when he was 17 so 22 years he was separated from his father he was a slave in P's house he could have sent a message to his father I'm alive even if he was a slave you could say he couldn't he couldn't go himself okay but he was in charge on P for's house he couldn't send a letter he couldn't send a message he couldn't find somebody going even if you'd say he was a slave and ptif wouldn't let him and then he was a prisoner so there was no mail okay but now you're the prime minister of Egypt you certainly have the power to send a letter there were no telegrams there were no telegrams I know he couldn't send a text or a WhatsApp or call Z but send somebody people are coming all the time send a message to your father you're alive he did not he did not 22 years he did not send a single message to Yakov even though Yakov was grieving this whole time what is this about this was raised over the generations this qu big question what really was happening remember before the hunger he was a prime minister of Egypt for seven years of plenty there was Comfort there was Prosperity there was no crisis he was preparing for crisis why didn't he want to send a message to Yakov the ran asks this question many many Ma this question over the generations it's very difficult to understand what happened there and then finally when the brothers come and you have your natural Messengers he's still not doing it he arrests them he sends them back they come back again they're going back and now he accuses them of the he accuses B of theft and now he reveals [Music] himself so there's another explanation in this whole story that we want to present today bem this is compiled for many commentators including the ran the rajam theer the theel the excuse me a wonderful essay by a scholar in Israel ROV Madan an essay RAB by Jonathan sax and the commentary of ntz I compiled from a lot of these [Music] sources what really emerges as a very very powerful tapestry especially Rabbi Yakov Madan and Rabbi saak who brought it all together very beautifully and I want to change the subject for a moment and ask you to go to your First Source in the source sheet and it looks like we're going to be changing the subject we won't but it's like one speaker once said I don't digress I just extrapolate R ram my manties the laws of repentance chapter 2 we all know one of the key Concepts in Judaism is called chuva chuva is a complex term which is usually translated as repentance but really the accurate translation is return trua means to return the whole tanak excuse me the whole tanak is filled saturated with this idea of the ability of people to reinvent themselves of return ReDiscover who they are Etc the rambam who was the great codifier of defines what is cha what does it mean I did cha so he says in the second chapter of his laws of CH a you have it in the Hebrew and English a what does it mean to Do complete CH what is complete the same exact opportunity for sin presents itself to the person he can still do it yet refrains not because of lack of strength or fear but because of conviction so the ram is saying what is sometimes I may make some serious mistakes in my life do things I shouldn't have done or be passive in cases I shouldn't have been passive and later I won't make those same mistakes but you know why I'm frail I'm weak I'm afraid I don't have energy anymore I'm done fine technically it's good I'm not doing it but the ra says that's not trur trur is actually the same story happens again and I could be there to repeat it because I still have the same strength and the same Vigor and the same opportunities and the same resources to be able to do whatever I have done still dealing with the same situation and yet I respond differently says this is real TR because it's not just I'm not doing it there's a change in the person you know sometimes a person they changes their place they change their person grows up their age changes okay so the circum circumstances are not here so that's not CH means all the all the pieces are in front of me and yet I make a different move in this chess game of life and what is this is what is it's for the person who did the M the transgression or the sin the mistake to leave it to abandon it and to remove it from his or her mind and to resolve in the person's heart not to do it again and also to regret the past so the rambam here says you see interesting what what's TR what's the definition of tra two things one is I said I'm done with this I'm done bye-bye this Behavior this these actions this attitude this perspective these sins these words thoughts patterns whatever it is bye-bye ya I abandon it and I make a resolution this is not part of my life and then the says but there's also one more thing it's regret for what happened thank you thank you very much I appreciate it these are known in Anda means a resolution for tomorrow for today and tomorrow in the future means remorse for the past so if it's between a person and another person I want to do CH one thing is what's the future going to look like how am I going to react how am I going to respond how will I behave in the future that's the first question of CHA the second thing is can I apologize for the past it's interesting that he speaks about the future before he speaks about the past you would think he would say first feel bad for the past and then make a resolution for the future but it's actually a very powerful idea because what he's saying the real definition of chva is I'm done if I'm really done it means I don't like what happened I don't like what happened because sometimes we could get mixed up and think TR is about guilt that's not trva that's called guilt that's very different in Chua Gil just means I'm horrible I'm bad I mess up everything my life is a curse I think some of us know what that feels like it sounds like chuva it's not that's why the RAM does not put that first he doesn't say chuva means oh I'm such a sick sick detached disassociated narcissistic muga addictive trauma matized or whatever wounded person okay those voices are there but that's not cha that's usually a very different voice than Chua Chua is that I'm actually taking the courage what's happening from now on because I'm serious about that it's because I don't like what happened yesterday so yeah I'm feeling remorse about what happened yesterday or what happened this morning and therefore tomorrow it's not going to happen anymore so the ram defined here as has three things the first thing is the resolution for the future the second thing is the remorse for the past and then there is complete CH that I have the opportunity to do it all over again and I do it differently that's how we started that's trur not because I'm weak not because I don't have the opportunity I do but I'm I I I do it differently and the ra says the knower of Secrets should be able to testify that this person is not going to return to this sin a person ought to confess verbally to express with one's lips that which we're experiencing in our heart and that's known as VI like we do Al Oru or we we tell somebody I'm sorry verbally it's really all an emotion regret is inside my heart resolve is inside my heart but there is the concept of V where I actually addess it with my lips and I say I apologize to you for doing so and so this is how he formulates what Chua is the question is what's the source for this the T speaks about cha but doesn't give this clear outline of the different components of CHA and it may be that the rambam studied very well saas and RAM watched what YF did with his brothers and when he watched what YF did with his brothers a the story was really formulating for the first time in history the mechanism of chuva in Hal the mechanism of CHA and Jewish law that's what's basically Happening Here in the story because when you read well what YF did this was not cruelty to his brothers it was actually very very profound love there was something broken in the family we should always make this disclaimer that we're talking about people who were extremely lofty and very lofty Soul so everything we say is always relative to understand their lofty spiritual levels but there was something that was broken in the family something that was very painful in the family obviously there was the lack of respect and love as the tah says they loathed him they were jealous of him y yph spoke negatively about them to his father his father was upset with him they were upset with him and it turns out into a colossal tragedy and catastrophe where they throw him into a pit they strip him from his tunic they sell them into slavery and Yakov is now grieving and says I'm going to go down to my grave in grief these things don't disappear I snap my finger and it's all gone obviously healing is needed there's something very very off there's an there's a spiritual infection there's a spiritual cancer there's a spiritual disease relative to their level that's raging in the Genesis of the Jewish existence where there could be such Discord and such contention and even if everybody meant well and had good intentions and felt they were doing the right thing the results were catastrophic the re results were that Yakov himself feels that his whole life was destroyed there's nothing he can do to find Comfort his sons and daughters triy to comfort him he refused to be comforted and he said I will go down to my to the abyss in tears and sobs ysf made a life for himself not easy but he became the prime minister of the superpower of the time he was now the second most powerful person in the ancient world that's not bad for a little Jewish boy from Kevon 17-year-old Jewish kid dreaming who was a prisoner who had no hope and suddenly is the second to the most powerful person in the ancient world remember ancient Egypt was a superpower so YF did very very well for himself he did well he got married he had children he named them Masha and a with all of the symbolism the T says that's fine in many ways YF is fine but there's a deeper question what about his brothers are they fine what happened to this family over the last 20 years what happened ysf doesn't know he had no contact with them he doesn't know what happened to the family he could say hey I'm ysf wow and they would right away throw the party right Jakob would come meet him there would be a huge s there would be signed everywhere they would invite the whole Egypt it would be but not with all the photographers it would be galic but there would be one question that ysf and everybody else would have to answer who is celebrating here is this a party for the masses or has something really changed deep deep spiritual infections deep pain and dysfunction let's speak about our own lives our own families that sits in a heart for Generations I can't just snap my finger throw a party and make believe it's good that may be nice and it's wonderful to be civil and civility is always a good thing but that doesn't mean there was real healing that doesn't mean there was real transformation and this is where we find yosef's greatness yet one what yet once again all of his trials and tribulations caused him to reinvent himself as we spoke in the last class V you remember about y's stages where he discovers himself as a slave andco rediscovers himself in prison and it's incredible and you could see the man that ysf has become not that he was a small person po before but he becomes a person to the point that the T even takes out the word be it's not that Hashem is channeling success through his hand because even his hand is a complete channel to the point that when he meets P remember py is the most powerful person in the ancient world and this was not a democracy so the most powerful person meant the most powerful person you couldn't vote him in and out after four years you couldn't this was the king he was a demig God he was worshiped you're talking about a Demi God with absolute absolute power if you didn't like what you looked like you can come out with a head shorter you're talking about ancient monarchs who were dictators and finally YF imagine ysf he didn't have a father he didn't have a mother he didn't have brothers they're the ones who did it so he had nobody in the world and he's a prisoner for 12 years and there's no process you know there's lawyers the news people are going to fight for you he's going to be there for Life a man with such potential with such wisdom and finally he summoned to the king out of the blue he didn't expect it he summoned to the king and py says I heard you're an expert on interpreting dreams I heard that I had a dream nobody can explain I heard you're the expert now think if you're y if you're 30 years old your childhood and innocence were robbed from you when you were 17 and you're now 30 years old it's a long time 13 years of absolute pain and suffering and anguish most of the time in a pit in Egypt in a Bo what would you tell par at that moment like you know this is the lot the lottery of all times it's not $300 million lottery it's a $300 billion Lottery it's a Priceless Lottery the most powerful person looks at you and says I had a dream and I need you to interpret I heard you're an expert the natural reaction is you got the right person you do it very humbly right you do it very humbly but of course your majesty you got the right person I'm here at your service right that would be that would be the thing to do what does YF do he ruins it y says Bel sorry I can't do it Bel it's not me I'm not the person I cannot help you wow and of course that's what touched P more than anything else this is where he saw a completely different type of person now when YF meets his brothers he sees them they're there getting grain the big question he has to ask himself is I have changed over 20 years the they change over 20 years the sad thing about life is people could go through 20 years and not change circumstances may change I may move to a new house I may move to a new community I may make more money I may make less money obviously there's a lot of different changes but I did not change I'm still wearing the same glasses I'm still carrying the same judgment I'm still reacting in the same way I did not change of course I become a little more mature I learn about things but it's like you know what do they say you can't teach a an old dog new tricks I told you once the med says in kis it's it's fascinating that a person goes through seven stages in life don't get insulted it's talking about men the first stage is when he's born it says he's a king like he's an aristocrat right everybody's showing off what he looks like how much does he weigh nobody ask me how much I weigh thank God but then how much you weigh you look like your mother you look like your father he's black he's blonde the face he's so cute everybody wants to hold him the med says he's a king when he's two years old says he's like a pig he's in the sewer systems he's in the every ever it's dirty like then when he's 10 years old like a goat that he's jumping everywhere when he's 20 he's like a horse grooming himself to impress the the women and then when he gets married he's like a donkey slept and slept and slept he's just slepping and then at the time he has kids to marry off it says he's like a dog you need so much to survive in this crazy world he's just barking he's just barking and then so he goes from a king to a to a pig to a goat to a horse to a donkey to a dog and the med says and what's the conclusion when he gets old he becomes a chimpanzee a monkey doesn't explain why so they say yeah now you have to do tricks for the in to entertain them so he's doing all these monkey tricks but the K once said something very profound he says Kim which are monkeys or chimps they know how to emulate people so he says when I become older I become like a chimp I start emulating myself I start coping myself that creativity the courage to reinvent myself is gone now I do things today CU I did them yesterday I did them yesterday cuz I did them the day before I go into my comfort zone and it's a very comfortable place to remain so who am I coping I'm copy myself I have no more the the energy or the stamina to be able to expand my Consciousness to be able to open myself up to a new reality YF did that every single day of his life now he's looking at at his brothers what happened over these last 20 years how is he going to find out these are not things you can find out through a conversation these are things that touch you at the core of your soul how are you reacting to things that are very very meaningful things that are very personal what happened in my marriage over the last 20 years what happened in my relationship with my children over the last 20 years what happened with my relationship with myself over the last 20 years that's probably the deepest what happened with my relationship with Hashem over the last 20 years what happened and where am I today and this is where YF begins a great experiment and it's fascinating everything he does is so precise and ingenious and particular and intricate that really allows him to be able to and allows them to see the evolution of the family so what's the first thing he does he accuses them of being spies they're not not they're innocent people he accuses them of a crime they did not commit and he knows very well they didn't commit it he knows they're not spies he knows who they are he knows they came for food like everybody else so he's accusing them of a crime they didn't do that's why people say oh he just wanted to torture them he just wanted to persecute them he just wanted to hurt them and then he arrests them for three days and then he sends them home and he keeps shim there and they come home without shim what's all this about he accuses them of a crime that they did not do knowing and hoping that's will remind them of a crime that they did do that's the key they're being accused of something that they're completely innocent about why is this happening to me I'm I'm a good person but it's challenging them can you think of something that you did do and they do and it's fascinating the medis says they look back for 20 years to see what they did they couldn't find anything they looked yesterday they looked a month a year so M says they looked for 20 years they couldn't find anything and then they knew there's one thing and they go back to that moment that difficult painful dark moment when they threw their brother into the sister into the pit and if you see it it's a Second Source Mikes Second Source they said to one another indeed we are guilty it's because of our brother the brother they don't know they're talking to we witness the distress of his soul when he begged when he pleaded with us not to harm him and we were deaf that is is why this trouble has come upon us for the first time ysf has heard their profound remorse they're saying we were deaf to our brother he was pleading with us and we did not we did not hear we did not want to hear or we did not hear that's why we're being accused of ESP that's why we're being arrested that's why shim is being separated from us we know that we're not spies we didn't do anything wrong this is not because he's a Russa he's a sick man he's a tyrant he's a m dictator worse than par that's usually what you would expect them to say no they're sitting over there he arrests them they're innocent they should start demonizing him which would have been normal because he was accusing them of something but they had a good education they were educated by Yakov so they understood you can demonize we we don't know who he is but if it happened to you something else is happening here ultimately every experience that a person has is orchestrated by Hashem so that means if we're having this experience he may be the person who's bringing it to us but there's something that we have to look into there's something I need to take accountability for there's something I want to reflect on what is happening inside of me and they find something from more than 20 years ago so basically when they are separated from shim when YF tells them you go home and Shimon stays here when they're in prison and remember prison in Egypt was a b was a pit so what just happened they went back to a pit they were now put in a pit they were accused of espan and suddenly they know they're going back to their father without one of their brothers what do you think happened in their mind YF helped them go back to that moment go back to that day or that night in Shem and relive it they reled it and shim here is not a mistake because he couldn't do it to ruven cuz ruven is the one who saved him ruen is the one who said don't kill him throw him into the pit shim was the second oldest brother and according to kazal shim is the one who actually threw him into the pit so the person who threw him into the pit is now separated what do you think happened now they're coming home to Yakov without shim that day or that night that they attempted to erase from their Consciousness because they felt they're doing the right thing for whatever reason they felt ysf has no future in the Jewish Family he's going to endanger the family he will jeopardize them and if YF is there they're not there it's either them or him so they tried to erase it from their Consciousness they thought they were doing the right thing and suddenly they can't erase it from their Consciousness it all comes back to them all it's what happens in life sometimes I do things and in my mind I tell myself oh I had to I was forc this was the right thing my idealism was at play but then I realized maybe I had intentions but ultimately I made a serious mistake ultimately I abandoned my soul I abandoned my God I abandoned my conscience I camouflaged it as idealistic or as moral or as ethical But ultimately I was doing the wrong thing and that's what happens here at that moment ysf saw the first step of chuva play out there was real remorse they weren't faking it nobody heard it they wouldn't know anybody here they were talking to each other and they said we are guilty for all of this we were deaf to our brother's cries and that's why we're experiencing this and ruin actually responded to them ruin said I told you don't sin against the child cuz ruven was the one who tried to save YF then and YF turns away and cries he doesn't want them to see but he cries but now he goes one step further so now the story is over they did chuva no no remember chuva has three steps so look at y's yep's um strategy there's a resolution for the future okay I could feel bad I feel bad I wouldn't have done it tomorrow I'll do it again so YF does now something which he himself will not witness he can't but he knows exactly what's going to happen what does he say I want you to bring Benyamin down now he knows that Yakov doesn't want Benyamin to separate from him so what's going to have to happen for them to bring Benyamin down to Egypt what's going to have to happen huh resp very good they're going to have to swear promis to Yakov never again there's no way Yakov is let bam go out of his hand he lost ysf he lost shim he lost ra as Rashi says Yakov told them Yehuda told y Yakov said to them you know when I have B I find some comfort for ra who's gone I find some comfort for ysf who's gone he's like the last relic of the family ra died and ysf died he thought YF died and all I have is Bam you take bamin and the nuclear family you know Yakov wanted to marry ra and they had two kids she had two kids Y and it's all destroyed just like his whole [Music] family I don't know if you saw this was about Mitzvah of a boy a real Zohar did you see about that Mitzvah a real Zohar lived in a kibutz near o at the border of Gaza 12-year-old kid very athletic well fit so what did he do every morning early in the morning he went for a run he went for a long good run and s in the morning was no different he went for his run so he left his house very early in the morning left the kibutz and went on a run moments later the terrorists came in they went into his home they murdered his father whose name is Yaniv Yaniv Zohar they murdered his mother whose name is Yasmin and they murdered both of his sisters and KET he wasn't home so he's the only one to survive from his entire family father and mother and both siblings were gunned down that morning of October 7th by the time he came back he already saw what's going on and he was saved this was a few weeks before B mitzvah he has a surviving grandfather who's 90 years old who's a holocaust Survivor so that's where he went to his grandparents so uh one of the people working in zaka he's in a special unit of zaka went over to him and said is there anything I can do for you he said yeah my father prepared Fillin for me for my B Mitzvah and it's in the house it's the only thing I'll have for my father can you get me those filling now this was right after they were not allowing anybody to come back to those KS because they were under Fire they were still sending rockets and there were terrorists roaming so they said you can't go you can't go here this is completely completely not allowed anybody to enter But zaka pleaded and this is a guy from a special unit so the commander said I give you six minutes in the house six minutes now the house was burned down they burned down the houses so he comes into the house and he told he shared the story on a video he came into the house it's all burnt burnt and he has 6 minutes he's running and running and he finds the fillan with ar Real's name he takes it out his friend takes out some other stuff just to give him like an album of pictures or whatever they could find you know that may be valuable and they ran out this was all under tremendous tremendous security as they were in the house as they were coming out of the house they had to have they had to have this security from the Army and uh this man from zaka brought back the fillan to uh to arel and uh he said you know this man from said I didn't cry all these days CU I couldn't I just had to work but at that moment he just let it all go and he was sobbing with arel and the grandfather who's 90 years old turns to to his grandson and to this person Zak he says listen I lost both of my parents in the Holocaust I was 14 I didn't think I'll have a day like this where uh I'll see such death hair but I also see a grandson and I built a family and the enre extended family in our homeland so he tells Ariel your future is also going to be exceptionally bright this Kana was his b Mitzvah so who came to who came to the B Mitzvah RAB Lao Rabbi Lao is the former Chief Rabbi of Israel RAB Lao was born in 1938 or 1939 so he's I think 86 years old RAB Lao spoke RAB Lao lost both of lost his family in the Holocaust and Treblinka so RAB La says to our real says my B mitzu was in 1950 1950 he was born in 1937 my father wasn't there my mother mother wasn't there most of my siblings were gone who was there my uncle and my aunt like you your uncle and your aunt and you have a grandfather and RAB La said that uh you know the tragedy is very very profound but just know that whatever you ever need I'm here for you I had the same Mitzvah like you and just know how many people love you and the whole nation loves you and the whole country loves you and he took a picture with him putting on the Fillin of his father and that Fillin he got from his grandfather who was the Holocaust Survivor and uh it was just incredibly painful and Incredibly moving and RAB Lao told them you know how he started from scratch he had nothing and he became the chief Rabbi of Israel and his father told him before he went to the gas Chambers his father told him that we are 38 generations of rabam 38 Generations father father father back to the and his father told he was a little kid but his father told his older brother naali who was 15 if you survive and his son survives make sure he could continue he said I became the chief Rabbi of Israel and he told his son this Buddhist boy arel you know I will always be here for you like consider me a brother you're 13 I'm 8 six but consider me a brother and uh they hugged and they embraced you know was such moments where you see you know pain in all of its uh in all of it in all of its depth which is really unfathomable and it's at that moment you also see the the power the soul of people huh yeah so I just I remind myself of this because yob was saying I don't have anybody I lost ra I lost ysf the only one left to this family is Bam ysf knows this so how is he going to get Yakov to let them take B only if they do the second part of chva they're going to have to tell Yakov this will not happen again the next brother who falls into our hands is going to be safe how did YF disappear he yov doesn't know they sold him but what happened Yakov sent YF to them and on the way or on the way back something happened y was gone T he was devoured this will not happen to b y doesn't see them doing this because he's not going back to Isel but he knows this is going to happen that's exactly what happens and who's the one who gets up and does it Yehuda Yehuda stands up and tells I will I will guarantee him and the words of Yehuda are so powerful because first ruin says you could kill both of my kids if I don't bring back bam and yob doesn't want to listen to that but when Yehuda speaks to him Yehuda says these words if I don't bring him back to you and put him right here in front of you I will remain guilty for all the days of my life and say even in Yakov now agrees Yakov agrees Yehuda says take my word all I can give you is my word but my soul is in this word and when jph sees baman came to Egypt he doesn't have to ask questions he knows exactly what happened in the house he knows exactly the second part of CHA happened they didn't only regret the past and say yeah we're guilty life is horrible we were horrible brothers does a different attitude in this family they know how to say never again this is going to change we're going to be we're going to show up we're going to be present great wow but wait there's one more part of CHA what's the last part of CH what does the re say chv gamur what's complete Chua complete Chua is the same opportunity comes up again and I react differently and we all know this in all forms of healing when do I I know that I healed when do I know that I'm on the path of healing if I just move away to a different situation and never deal with anything again okay if you can do that sometimes that's great and sometimes necessary but the real thing is the same words are spoken to you again but you react differently maybe last year or five years ago my spouse said these same words and they triggered me to the point of becoming emotionally overwhelmed emotionally detached fight flight for freeze and now a year two three years later I hear the same words and I could react the same way and a part of my brain wants to go there said we're going to do it differently we're going to do it differently I have control now I know who I am I know who I'm not I know what's part is my trauma I know what part is my soul I'm going to do it differently wow that's true gura you had the exact same opportunity you did it differently the question is how can that happen and this is where ysf conducts what you may call a master stroke this ISS The Stroke of a master of a true Maestro what does he do he invites them to his home he's graceful they're all drink they're all drinking so you can understand this was a it was a it was a feast and obviously they felt there's something very powerful here because the first time they're drinking and it's not clear why they're drinking if they didn't drink since YF was sold why they suddenly start drinking now the maral of prag the gari says something very interesting profound he says why did ysf take out all these drinks they said to themselves they didn't know the whole story he's accusing us of being spies so he wants to get us drunk when people are drunk the secrets come out and we'll spill the beans but we know we're not spies so we don't care to Spill the Beans I don't care if I'm drunk what's the worst thing you're going to hear you're going to hear my dark secrets you know what my secrets are not so dark in terms of Espionage at least you're not going to hear from me that I'm a spy so they're fine let's get drunk that's what the maral says of course this is all from their perspective thinking that YF thinks they spies because we interpret life always from our perspective oh you giving me a lot of wine because you think I'm a spy I never see things from your perspective it just shows you how they thought from y's perspective it was something very different ysf really really wanted to make them feel very very comfortable ysf really was beginning to celebrate a family reunited in fact when YF sets them around the table it says each brother to his friend wondered how the man knew where they should be seated it's the first time they're called friends the first and last the word re friend is only in that moment usually they're Brothers they're biological Brothers but can they be friends that's very different you know like somebody says I love my family but how do I start liking my family how do you like the people you love it's not so simple I love you but can I like you it's very different you know there's loving the people you like can't always do that but there's liking the people you love they're family they're Brothers but is there real trust so this is the first time they're called re y feels they already went through the two processes of Chua this is a very special moment and here is his master stroke they're leaving this is unexpected and the reason it has to be unexpected is because that's where you're going to see instinctively how they respond when things are expected you have time to appear but they were so comfortable in his house they thought the nightmare was over he sends them home but not for putting his private goblet into binyamin's sack so now suddenly Benyamin is discovered as a thief as a ghav which means he has to become a slave by the king that's the rule you steal you become my slave you did it I didn't do it B did it what might have been the natural reaction they might have said listen you know Benyamin stole something something what are we supposed to do like yeah I guarantee to bring him back if he's a mench if he behaves I'll bring him back you know I take you somewhere and and you steal and you start committing crimes yeah you're going to get arrested what am I supposed to do I'm not a miracle worker that would have been a very rational Sayan response in fact the medish even says and this is so powerful that they turn to Byam and whether it means verbally or in thought but they said something or they thought something and they said you're just like your mother she stole her father's stuff back in par V say she stole her father's tram father's Idols or different interpretations what tram are H like mother like son what is that about you see that's how the brain works we go back to the situations we go back to our familiar neural Pathways we accuse you're the thief you're the G because bam was innocent but the way I think is you're the thief you're the ghav I can't deal with you oh we sold y we had a good reason to do it he was Hoy he was arrogant he was narcissistic now his brother is stealing and you justify it and I am back stuck in my old neural way Pathways my old ways of thinking this was a thought would this be their reaction or not but wait you can't compare y they were jealous of YF got that multicolorful tunic from the father YF they were envious of it wasn't just YF was from a different mother they had a personal reason to be jealous of him what about bam and this is where YF did something at that party when you read it in KES it's just like okay what he did at that party was it's says he gave them all gifts but the gifts of bamin were five times the amount what was that about so there's different interpretations why do it right now he gives bamin a gift five times the amount of what he gave the other brothers five times the amount what's the ti trying to say it's very hard not to escape the conclusion YF was literally organizing an experiment this was a prepared experiment again Benyamin is treated better than everybody else bamin has more favor bamin has more grace right away the ancient jealousy can be triggered Rule's kids you know Rule's kids the aristocrats Mencken nen these are the princes the crown princes the favorites dad's favorites we can't touch them and now even the prime minister of Egypt SE that he's the best and naturally it engenders that feeling you know we're not in the same boat he's treated differently so now when he's caught as a Thief what might be the natural response there's nothing we can do he's stole he has to suffer the consequences there's really nothing to do this is the law he has to be a Slave and that's how y ends go back to your father those words of Y go back to your father peacefully he doesn't say go back to your father go back peacefully to your father meaning you could be at peace he did it he's a slave I'll take care of him as my slave go back peacefully to your father of course there's an ironic twist ha can you go back peacefully to your father let's see can you go back peacefully to your father did this family change can you go back peacefully to your father just like you went back peacefully to your father when you got rid of me and here aash opens up with Yehuda going over to ysf and says I can't go back to my father I will not go back to my father why will I not go back to my father because I cannot see my father in so much pain I cannot do this again to my father I will not do this we will not do this and now look talk about transformation in a person look at the change if you look at the next Source look at yehuda's words when y was in the pit and y's words now 22 years later what gain is there if we slay our brother and cover up his blood as Rashi says there's no money here let's sell him what does he say now you need a slave he stole I will be your slave let him go back to his father Yehuda now turns to the prime minister of Egypt and says I shall be the slave I'm older than him I'm bigger than him I'm stronger than him I'm more powerful than him I'm a leader by Nature as Rashi says I'm better I'll be better for you as a slave I shall be a slave maybe for life but let him go back to his father what just happened what happened was the third part of chuva Chua gura what just happened the entire scene was reenacted and this time they would actually be much more innocent they're not taking their brother and throwing him into a pit they did not they did not make him a slave they were taking him home he did something so foolish so stupid so criminal of course they don't know that he didn't do it they don't know the truth that it was all y this is all an experiment this time they are innocent they're going to go back to Yakov and say you know Yakov I guaranteed him but I only guaranteed him if he doesn't jump into a fire if he jumps into a fire what am I supposed to do chain him I can't chain him the same scene was reenacted and the jealousy could have been reenacted too and yet what happened was a complete transformation this was not like the ram says I could do chva because I'm afraid because I'm weak I don't have the opportunity here here you're in the same situation the same test your freedom will be compromised forever if you go instead of Byam and yet Yuda said I will not relinquish the blood of my brother even with every ideological justification in the world not because he's right he doesn't know what happened but because this is me he's my brother we are brothers I will not do this we are a family we're the children of Yakov what happens right at this moment this speech of Yehuda how do we know the theme of the speech you always look what word is repeated most the word that's repeated most in the speech of Yehuda is my father 14 times 14 times he says the word and at the end he finishes the samei twice how can I go back without my son without this lad how can I go back to my father without this Nar and I will see The Misfortune that will befall him I can't at that moment What's the next y says that's it I can't do this anymore I'm done you contain yourself so beautifully till now at this moment he can't contain himself anymore he sends everybody out he starts sobbing again now his emotions come out in the public to them now suddenly they see how emotional and connected he was throughout he was never disconnected from them even when he was disconnected from them he was trying to see if they reconnected his disconnection was a form of connection it was making sure that they're connected and when he says they get it and then he says your brother who sold you to Egypt says they don't know that ysf is their brother and they don't know they sold him to Egypt how many how many y brothers did they have 100 two 10 so says only even when you sold me I was your brother you may have not been my brother but I was your brother once said for the to write this he had to be in the same state of consciousness sometimes to write a certain interpretation you have to be in that place so now it becomes very clear why YF didn't sent a message to Yakov all these years he could have sent a message to Yakov he could have sent a message to Yakov all these years maybe as a slave maybe as a prisoner certainly as a prime minister of egyp what would have happened yakob would celebrate they would make a beautiful Feast the family may be reunited superficially but the question is were the infections really healed the transformation really happened so here in this story we have the first story Ines which is not it's not it's a story but all of the H cha all the laws of chva were constructed from this story from the Dynamics of this story of YF the laws of chuva are constructed now look now take a look in your last Source you know how our SA can articulate an entire class in three lines I wish I knew how to do that the last s section 93 take a look these are the words of the medish it's a little enigmatic but after what we said I think it's all here in these words the son of all the words that y said to until the point that he reveals himself was Pi it was a consolation it was healing for ysf it was healing for all the brothers and it was healing for by why it was healing it was appeasement it was Recon it was uh it was consolation for y it told him look how he's ready to give his life for the sons of raal YF knew that he was Ra's son and had a different relationship with his brothers because of it it was a difficult relationship bamin is also the son of raal bamin is the next one after YF bamin also had a special connection with his father and the same Yuda says I will be a slave forever and let this boy go back to his father what did that do to YF at the moment what did it show him wow the same man who was ready to sell me the same brothers who were ready to throw me into a pit and threw me into a pit and here's a son of raal not a son of Bill or Leia or Zila and they're having that he's ready to give a soul next there was also healing for all the brothers see how he's giving his life for his brother they all were obset at Yehuda the Torah says in vay after the story of selling ysf Yehuda left his brothers vay rash says he was demoted the brothers dismissed him because they felt that he was the leader he was the king and he had the power and he could have convinced them to bring YF back to their father when they saw the pain they realized this was terrible and they they couldn't deal with Yuda anymore that's why Yehuda left the family and he went and he found a wife and he had a whole story and he lost one son and he lost another son and he had to go through his own transformation with the story of Tamar and that's when Yehuda saw how wrong he could have been when this woman Tamar who he accused of harlotry and promiscuity and really it was his many I mean you remember that whole story we did it in other classes but that whole story that Yehuda was with Tamra and he thinks that she was promiscuous and finally in her master stroke of Genius she makes him realize that it was all him and suddenly he himself is reenacting things his own son a dies and his son oan dies and then the third son Shaya he doesn't want to marry to Tamar and then tar is almost killed because of it and suddenly he realizes who was the guilty one here and this causes yehuda's whole journey but the brothers don't know who Yehuda is but at this moment they see wow it's a different Yehuda Yehuda says I'll just be a slave for the rest of my life I got to take care of my brothers and then finally piam there was such healing for bamin bamin lived in the house so he knew how they felt about YF now he didn't know that they sold him he wasn't there but he may have sensed he may have sensed because of the negative relationship what has happened he may have sensed that there was a terrible terrible thing that they did to YF and who knows how it affected his relationship with his brothers at home remember was home all these years he was home and if he was home he was with these same brothers who did this to YF so how did he feel about them even if he did not know the details of the story so he says was telling him was telling a message I just gave up my whole soul for you in the same way I will give up today my soul for your brother what did did that mean to him he loved YF he named his 10 children all for YF B had 10 children every name was named for YF for the memory of ysf whom he grew up without and now Yehuda by saying I will be a slave for this B was telling him a message I'm doing anything to save you I will do anything and give up my life to save your brother so the say when YF saw this moment he realized transformation happened and therefore he could not contain himself anymore why is this story so important right here right now because right now the family is about to become a people it's not a family anymore now it's a family 12 boys you have Dina you have maybe the other daughters you have the but very soon they're about to become is inas they're not called an they're called B it's only in that par is the first one to call them a nation it's going to grow into a nation and this is going to be a nation that's going to go through a lot as we know what they say hindsight is 2020 ysf knows that the dreams were not about him growing his ego the dreams were about his mission YF understands his mission is to make this family ferle to become God's people how is that going to happen and that's what YF is doing here it's at this moment that the Jewish people have to realize if we're not going to be here for each other we're in trouble if brothers and sisters are not going to be here for each other we're in trouble I mean Jews see it today very very vividly when you see sophisticated people sophisticated universities sophisticated presidents who dedicated their life to Enlightenment and higher education and intellectual academic achieve a m and apparently tolerance and they can't even say that calling for the genocide of the Jewish people is like a little bit of a bad thing to even say that it's all about context somebody said it's a pity a didn't speak with one of those presidents and she would have told them put up a sign in aitz it depends on the context it depends on the context there's a lot of pain there but there's also a lot of lot of power when the Jewish people know we have each other that's very powerful you know sometimes a couple is going through a lot with their children and they can't always snap their fingers and just make things go away but the greatest blessing in those moments is when a husband and a wife have each other because when you we have each other it becomes a fortress and even when curve balls are thrown and rocks are thrown and there's pain there's a fortress that maintains confidence and love and light and Redemptive Clarity in difficult situations it's like a it's like a breach which this year is Friday the tanak describes as a day of laid The Siege on Jerusalem and the words he uses is he laid a Siege which of course caused the hunger and then ultimately the city fell it fell excuse me the walls were breached and the was burnt the word is s Sak literally means supported he didn't support it was a Siege to break them and one of the interpretations is when he created a Siege around nobody goes in nobody goes out there could be two attitudes one attitude is listen all we have is each other when we have each other let's be here for each other and that creates the ultimate love that eliminates the source of Exile which came from sin so the in a spiritual way there was a support that was coming out in that way that tragedy was also a tremendous support it wasn't used that way so the results were different so in every situation every family is that way when we we know we're here for each other in a very authentic way it changes everything I sometimes can't change the reality outside of me so at this moment the Jewish people who are going are morphing from a family into a nation must learn this that if we're not really going to be here for each other if I'm going to be looking of how I could throw this one into a pit and sell this one into a slave whatever that means in a person's life metaphorically speaking this nation won't be able to survive the power that we have is the love the connection connection doesn't mean we agree Y and didn't agree about everything but it means there's loyalty it means there's trust it means I can lean on you a th% you can lean on me 1,000% it's like in a marriage couples don't have to agree with each other but they got to be here for each other trust each other know that they could lean on each other and when they have that Unity even if there's crisis and even if there's difficulties there's an unbreachable bond that just creates a different dynamic in a home one of the worst tragedies in a home when things are difficult with children or other issues is when it creates separation in a couple when children suffer couples either become closer or further they either blame each other you're she's just like you he's just like you if I wouldn't be married to you my kids would have been normal thank you for your jeans so we can go that route and what happens the other route is they become closer from the pain and when they become closer so then there's a solid edifice in the house that the children could lean on and they feel a presence of love and Leadership and connection and that changes everything it's also true with the Jewish people throughout history so it's at this moment for am to become am to become God's people YF says we all have to transform ourselves not just me we all have to transform ourselves when he sees that transformation now he could reveal himself now when the family reunites it's going to be a different type of reunification just going to be for the pictures in the magazines it's going to be internal and also for them to become God's people is not an easy Mission throughout history as we all know and we could see today by the way with all the craziness and all the atrocities it allows the Jewish people to see what it means to be God's people what what exact exactly what it means what does it mean that millions and millions of people who are civilized professors and academics and politicians can't condemn Kamas because it happened against Jews what does that mean what does that mean it shows you it shows you the Holiness and the goodness that the Jewish people represent it shows you literally what it means to be God's people the challenge now is to really internalize it to live it not based on the anti-Semitism from without but based on the conviction and idealism from within and to be such a people there are mistakes there ups and downs and if there's no forgiveness if there's no reconciliation if I can't ReDiscover myself reinvent myself it's a hopeless situation so at this moment in the juncture of Jewish history ysf conducts this extraordinary experiment showing the power of transformation showing the power of inner work and the ability to say the person I was 20 years ago is not the person I am today the person I was a year ago is not the person I was today and maybe even the person I was yesterday is not the person I was today in a good way I want to take what I learned from 20 years ago but that's the power that's the real real power of transformation the pain the crisis in this family in that original family it transformed them when YF says you did not do it you did not sell me God sent me to create Refuge it's not just physical Refuge that too it's also spiritual Refuge if I would have remained there everything would have looked perfect but nothing would have been perfect and this is a very very profound lesson sometimes we see things happening in families and people's lives very very painful there's adversity and it looks like it's all just about destruction but as we see in this story YF says no this was the only way transformation can happen I needed to become a different person Yuda needed to become a different person yob needed to become a different person and every one of the brothers needed to become a different person and they did and YF demonstrated it through all of these exercises and experiments it's a it's a painful Journey but when I took look at that pain not from a personalized way I'm guilty I'm evil I'm bad I'm horrible but really understanding how do I show up in this situation to be the best version of myself that's how transformation is created and I think in our time today the Jewish people have been catap ulted that's the word catapulted to a new State of Consciousness you know there are moments in history that they they shake up the tectonic plates they shake up the foundations and the the the horrific events of October 7 2023 obviously there's the atrocities the the pain and the the horrors and the deaths and the wounds and the captiv those in captivity and the soldiers in Gaza and the whole situation and the anti-Semitism in the world Etc but also in a very very deep spiritual place the Jewish people have been catapulted into a very very profound space and at such a moment one ought not to forit the voices the K madaka the powerful message in history that warrants and calls for a different level of transformation not ex I'm not talking only on external level I'm talking much more in a very internal space a transformation that happens when a person finally can embrace the truest and deepest part of their soul when a person can finally embrace the truest and deepest part of their Holiness and their divinity when every one of us truly becomes the truest person the most authentic powerful creative version of yourself where you become I become we become channels for absolute Clarity and resolve and love and light and hope and healing and connection and authenticity because one of the worst things a person can do is ignore or forfeit opportunities that are so powerful ysf told his brothers did we lose this opportunity or did we learn from it he saw that they did not lose the opportunity and that's why the family could be Reck reconciled and in our generation too as we were catapulted into such a powerful space nobody asked for it nobody expected it nobody wanted it and certainly nobody understands it fully because there are things Beyond anybody's comprehension as we spoke quite a few times but the real question is can I can you can we show up in this situation with our hearts opened our souls opened greater than ever have a wonderful and beautiful week will have a class next week as well thank you thank you thank you thank you should be a good to better for the family and the whole CL his style thank you thank you for the tea to to thank you for thank you I think I think if he would have been reunited with his father it would have been nice but ultimately it would have stunted the growth if the family didn't change so his family would come that he would bring the family they would be his father didn't know that they sold him so there would be supposed Unity but the inner the inner work that had to happen wouldn't have happened yeah thank you for coming thank you for coming yeah so obviously the TR obviously there was something missing obviously I mean it does say here that there was healing for ysf healing for the brothers and healing for bys I guess you have to say that there was still something a blemish that remained from what they did to him no no it's a good you're welcome thank you thank you thank you for coming thank you thank you sorry I always have question how do I conduct myself at work in the hospital nobody wants to hear about is no one wants to hear it's like the big and they don't mind hearing about my babies this and that they absolutely don't want me to talk about politics how do I what's your position in the hospital um really I'm one of the workers on respiratory therapist uhhuh I sit in the office the others right sometimes you have too much time to maybe ask them about it say imagine maybe ask them very cordially say you know imagine your family like uh you know went through a tremendous Massacre you know maybe back in your hometown where you came from would you feel the need to talk about it and express yourself this is my family maybe I have strong feelings you know strong feelings I understood what the PO did to them any of them are Catholics again there it's always Catholics I'm afraid that myome well a lot of Christians are very supportive of Israel today but they're not they're not I don't know it's don't I don't know the nature of the relationship between you and them of them to my so if it's if it's that friendly yes so then maybe just like bring that up say you know I want to share something with you they may say we didn't realize they may say something else I don't know but that itself will clarify things for you yes who they are yeah and then you'll see you know yes again where do they really feel exactly that will clarify it but don't don't don't do it with anger cuz you have to see them every day in the hospital so I would just do it with with no no I Grace and just know you'll see who they are but I do have to say there's a lot of Christians today who are very very supportive yes there are yes but I don't know which ones yeah there's an Australian actor Nath Nathan Buzz no I sent out a clip of his yeah no just incredible what he says today yes my husband travels the country and he sees many of them yeah especially in the South this this guy was talk speaking to a bunch of Jews he said don't allow don't wait for Hamas to bring you together let Hashem bring you together oh yes that's the Nathan Buzz yeah a lot of thank you for coming