Chassidus Thursday | Torah Ohr "Va'era El Avraham"

foreign I was going there because [Music] dank I think foreign [Music] okay [Music] let's start today the first page 109 109. it says on top of ADA in the Hebrew numbers it's nun hey column one Laughlin hay column one the first maima of the [Music] of the balatanian parishes remind me from toughkeepers which would be 1802. he begins with the opening of the Parsha Hashem speaks to Maisha moisha complained and lamented about the whole story in the of the Egyptian Exile La Mare why have you Afflicted as people and you haven't saved them and since I came to party it became worse so Hashem says now you're going to see what I do and he begins the next Parish of ADA Hashem speaks to motion he says I'm God but um literally I appear to have ramitsukanyakov through the name known as shindalad the name of Hashem called Shada shindalade but my name that's how it's written in the title as now the devil would say havaiah with that I was not known to them I did not let myself be known to them through this name obviously such Apostle is right away a very very uh as you would say a mystical Posse what does that mean it's like you know I let you know one name of mine not the other name of mine with people you know me you don't know me you know you didn't tell me all your three names okay so I don't know your three names obviously saying something they knew about me that I appeared to them they sought but should we have so all the before I should deal with this because it's a it's a statement you don't have these uh you don't have such a common person it's such a person it's not so common you know Transcendent statement that has a lot inside of it Rashi himself gives his interpretations and many of them of our Tanya says the word in Hebrew grammar has two meanings on one hand means I appeared in the past I appeared to the others to the Patriarchs a second a second interpretation is the future which is the present vaida I will appear or I am appearing because there is something about this that is constant in every time in every era in every generation and every moment in every person to the Ada of the past but also he says however you pushed in the dick talk with the vov it's means constant and therefore also future because something is always happening it's going to happen tomorrow also so he says one represents what happened and one represents something that's always happening that the name of us is only for three people we had many fathers but the three people are called others why because they're the office of everybody I may come from One Tribe you may come from another tribe your father may have been lazy my father may have been your Hooda Joseph foreign so they're the fathers after that it branches off that's postured biologically because everybody came from yaakov and if you come from yaakov if you come from yes so you can't not be a child of Robert stamina interesting myself remind myself there's a very wealthy Jew a very big philanthropist really a sterling man A Sterling soul and a tremendous duck his name is George Rohr George Roy lives in Manhattan in the upper east side of Manhattan the roar family very very successful business people and extremely charitable human being so I once heard from him that he began today it's already it became a trend but he began it many years ago he Daves in KJ [Music] the the traveling oh he just did a Shabbos in KJ so uh he dubbards in KJ KJ's kahila okay it's considered one of the largest and biggest and prominent modern Orthodox shows it in the United States of America rabbi lukestein is the love so George roared many many years ago decided that they need a beginner's minion Jews in Manhattan communication but when they come into the regular minion they get lost you know they don't know what to do when to stand when to sit if he didn't grow up in a show you know it's very intimidating so then he began he started a beginner's minion beginner's minion which was literally beginners if you're a beginner you come in and he ran it he ran it explained everything you know it's obviously shorter a lot of explanations giving the significance what we do what we don't do reading in English to make them comfortable with the experience of Darwin and it was a success story it was uh it was very original it was creative it was a completely different type of davening would be good probably for most people most people who go to show explain what you're saying say it in English British May in English nishmas in English actually makes sense some of these prayers anyway so he said a few days later he came to see the lab so you felt this is something that the devil would really appreciate so he says that he made reshashana a beginner's minion in KJ and it was an amazing success he thought that about many people came and it was inspiring and he's doing another one for him Kipper so the devil said what's a beginner's minion so he said it's a Minion for Jews that have no background no Jewish background and he says that the debit till then was smiling and very friendly when he said that he saw that the devil's face grew serious and the devil says Ah would say ah everybody knew it's not that he didn't hear it was just something that it was hard for him to hear he goes ah so he didn't think there was anything wrong so he said for Jews that don't have a background ah so he said it again how do you say on a Jew that he doesn't have a background when every Jew has the background don't say on a Jew that he has no background he has a very very glorious background so George said now he understood what The Beginner's minion was he understood now what The Beginner's menu was that's the incident it's not stomach milit it's a real question it's a real question is somebody coming in with no background or is somebody coming in with an extraordinary background but the consciousness of it may have been interrupted it's a whole different approach in how you see them right so that's the ancient of us the state of the others is an inheritance to each of their children in every generation every person according to his unique identity and that's why every schwinners so we begin Our God the god of ram the god of Israel what does that help me you're the god of ram the god of the answer is it's not of ram it's a kanyakov it's you if it's the way you capture the course through the prism of ram through according to your own capacity is beautiful words not every Sadiq do I have in me he says he says certainly they represented great lights but you can have a person who doesn't have those madriguez those States at least not in in a revealed and manifested way or the cloud doesn't have this it's not there it's not their Indian it's not their you can't be everywhere others fathers just like it's biological you say I don't have the genes of of my father only of my mother maybe you would like it that way but sorry you have your father's genes you have your grandfather's jeans you have your great grandfather's jeans right so therefore the it's true but he says it's true spiritually of their their Consciousness their reality exists in every person there's no exception to that that's why we say hello why don't we sell the keru oven or the case the answer is because this is generic for every single Jew so when it says this is the conclusion it's not just the past it's also the present and the future because this is and that was the uniqueness of the others each of them is an archetype and a paradigm for something that continuously lives in the soul of the Jew love and this is his introduction but they're also physical fathers they weren't only spiritual fathers they're also physical fathers on some level but even maishirable is not called one of the others that's what he's saying and there's a reason for that not every Jew comes a motion a bit every Jew is a student of my channel that's true he's our whatever [Music] yeah not to emotion yeah says that the Ada is a continuous process ah um right right to understand what this we're talking about this Revelation and every generation in the level of the others the way they are reflected in every single Jew because as we said there's no Jew in the world who doesn't have who doesn't have the Pinner the state of of of of the others inside of him or her it's a yerusha it's an inheritance so it's intrinsic so to understand this is Exile is compared to pregnancy Redemption the Redemption of mashiach speedily in our days is comparable comparable comparable to birth says has given expression and birth to his children and this is the expression of so we see when the navi wants to describe this is the Navy yes the the Prophecies of comfort he describes redemptiveness as a process of birth foreign conversely when the Jewish people are in a state of distress heaven forbid Steve then the navi says the children have come to a point of today means a breakdown but in ancient Hebrew match bear is a woman sitting on a birthing stool right yes is a birthing space so they have come that to that place but there's no energy to give birth it's like khalilo when the fetus is is stuck and there's no power for later for coming out it's it's it's in the utero and you can't get it out that's the men that's the metaphor for for exile okay the cane heavily my summer the birth pangs the pain heavily are called the birth pangs before birth in other words it's the difficulty of bringing out the baby heavily that's what heavily Heavenly means pangs the contractions the labor pains which are which are excruciatingly difficult the same is true in egyptus is chapter 37 is a whole chapter Which chapter is 16 he compares the whole goddess of mitsarayam to pregnancy and he says when I came and I saw you on the night of Egypt in the area you were naked like a child just came out Miss poses submerged in your blood right and I had to cut your umbilical cord it's all described as a process of birthing Redemption is a process of birth now this obviously is very meaningful because that means the difference between Exile and redemptiveness is the difference between pregnancy and the process of redemption is literally a birthing process birthing process is not a simple process it's a very painful process and yet it's the only way the child can emerge from utero into the world and become ultimately a human being a viable independent person is so what is the metaphor is it just that it's painful what is the concept of this metaphor sometimes as we know to get from gallus to Gula have to push like the mother and these contractions and it's not simple and you have to open up a pathway and opening the pathway is a complex and really biologically a miraculous process of how that birthing happens here quite an elaborate metaphor explains what's the difference of Gullah singula Allah to understand mashallah malitza meaning to understand the parable and the metaphor that the Tanakh gives we have to understand more about pregnancy says to a Pincus a book which is completely folded up everything is folded up like a scroll a Pincus is like a Kiva it's a scroll but it's completely bound up the head of the fetus is between the knees the equation and the voice of our his feet are on his on on the edge of his fingers he eats what his mother eats drinks what his mother drinks receives her oxygen piffs awesome his mouth is plugged his navel belly button is open and attached with a core to the mother and receives the oxygen and the nutrients through it the money emerges in the world to the world that which was plugged gets opened because if the mouth is not open he won't be able to function and that which was open till a moment ago gets concealed and it's really an incredible process how that happens that if the same functionality if the mechanism that was working during pregnancy would continue after birth the child wouldn't survive so there has to be a transformation during birth that suddenly all the limbs and organs that have like this code okay guys we're going into opposite gear what was previously closed plugged has to be opened what was previously opened has to be looked suddenly the lungs have to start working and there are situations where you see where this khalilah a challenge in one of these processes and it could be life-threatening it all changes in a moment and the fetus has to know how to do this so this is what the Commodities describe what do we learn from this night the fetus has the entire structure of a body of an organism means the division of all the organs right when it's developed there's a head there's eyes there's ears but the head is folded and lay between the knees in other words it's not functioning independently he's not thinking he's not contemplating there's physical eyes but they're not being used it's not seen as an idea also the digestive system the way the food goes in is not through the mouth and then it's digested and grinded up digested and sent into the intestines Etc he eats he has to eat but it's through the mother it doesn't go through the mouth it goes through the navel the name I am straight into the intestines in order so that the body should be able to grow come on we see practically during the nine months there is tremendous growth in the body is for the mouth to go for the food to go through the mouth and that includes the food then becoming part of the blood and the blood being sent to the heart and the Heart sending over the blood partially to the brain oxygenated blood and to use What's called the limbs of breathing the lungs Adriana shim even though all the limbs are complete including the lungs including the brain including the heart but nonetheless he doesn't have his own breath or her own breath of life until the moment the baby emerges and then the first sound comes out shows say this is the Simon this is the sign of birth the science they hear that the child utters its sound the head came out foreign and therefore in the womb it's not like the blood the brain sends life to the lungs that are functioning then the main life has to go to the limbs of digestion because that has to be digested in the intestines because the umbilical cord comes through the navel the head and all the higher functionality in the upper part of the body like the limbs used for nashima nishima is the respiratory system it's not functioning like like it would be lifeless even though it's not and that's why the head is between the knees so the body is there fully the baby is obviously surviving but it's a completely different process than it is after birth everything we described about pregnancy reflects the state of golus of Exile collectively and individually person has Lakota all the limbs and organs but the whole functionality of it is different in pregnancy than in birth what does this mean the save the Posse says Hashem is Hashem cries out he screams out for marum from heaven Peters commercials sends upwards um the famous Navia year Mia khalber ramanishma nihibition she weeps for her children she refuses to be comforted because he is not here and that's when Hashem tells stop crying meaning foreign because they are not here she's crying for her children what's Kia Nando because he's not here who pitish bizaria the kayala she doesn't feel that Hashem is here because because ah I can't hear you yeah so when it says in the singular desire says she doesn't feel he's present because send it upwards the solic he ascended what does this means is a time when his godliness and his shrina it looks like he removed it from the lower reality this is Godless from the eyes of Flesh from the perspective of the of the vantage point of physical eyes of Flesh it looks like the world is separate it's lonely it's detached it's fragmented that's what Rahul sobs for she doesn't feel the organic Oneness the presence of the shrina in the world foreign the heart of the nation became fattened the aim of Hashem they have eyes but they don't see what does this mean back to the fetus they don't see Hashem they don't see the reality the light of Hashem the truth is as we say in Allah there's no other reality so I have eyes but I don't perceive it if I feel like sometimes and even the flow of Mitzvahs and massim Taiwan which give nutrients to the soul it doesn't go through the mouth and then down the throat and then gets digested in the process of of of eating it doesn't go through the higher organs and then into the intestines it goes through the navel so that he says and therefore you don't have the process of the heart taking the food turning it into blood and then the blood from that food is oxygenated by the lungs and then that oxygen and that nutrients is sent through the heart to all of the organs to give Vitality to the heart the source of the blood and to the brain spiritually this would mean that the Mitzvahs and massive which are food for the salt don't go through that process is there should be an awareness of Hashem and a deep love and serving him with all one's heart and a craving soul and a palpable desire in the heart that is burning like fire with thirst and passion you see without remember describes what doesn't exist he gets lost in it always he tells you what doesn't exist right he says well you don't have he always it's almost like he can't control himself if it doesn't exist what are you describing it so much it's interesting always all the my mother this is what this is what you don't have to hear us it's what the novice says they fear me but it's mitzvous means you do Mitzvahs by wrote like a robot well the mother means I do it because I was trained you brush your teeth in the morning I put on film in the morning you do the physical action but it's cold the food gets in back to the feeders the food gets in but it does it goes straight in in other words there's a process that happens but the consciousness of it the vadamkite the heart and the head are are bypassed there's a process the Mitzvahs go in so it has an effect but in terms of the person's involvement it's just by wrote there's a coldness this is an apathy and this is the main experience of Exile spiritually a Jew who does everything is connected but what's missing is the consciousness of Oneness when I look at the world I see separateness when I look at myself I see separates even though I do all the Mitzvahs and I have Toyota and there's a process there in this food that goes into my nephesh but there's a sense of coldness there's a sense of indifference there's no experience of a deep deep relationship and connection to give an example in a relationship and I think everybody could relate to at least many could relate to this a person could be married they could follow all the halachas of marriage right they follow the silver they fulfill their obligations the husband fulfills his obligations the woman fulfills her obligations but nobody sees each other nobody hears each other nobody feels each other you sometimes come into a house technically everything is there all the limbs are there there's a dining room table there's a kitchen table the garbage gets taken out there's supper there's laundry right but nobody was born nobody could see each other nobody can hear each other and we can feel each other nobody gets each other not intellectually not emotionally I do everything I do everything I'm a good guy I bring home a paycheck I do what I have to do I take out the garbage I pay the bills I'm not a mashugana I'm not abusing I'm not breaking Windows I'm not screaming I'm not hollering but do you do today what you did yesterday what you did the day before and there's a certain sense of coldness this is described as pregnancy all the pieces are there the whole fetus is there buddak Hashem and there's life this fungi but as he says the whole higher system of How It's Working that's shut down the child is living off the process of the mother spiritually what this means is [Music] spiritually what this means is there's no there's no real appreciation of hashem's presence of the Oneness of the world with Hashem the eyes are here but I can't see and therefore even though I eat but it's just you know you do it there's no there's no there's no deep life and warmth in it this is what he's describing pregnancy not that there's no connection there is but it's it's it has a lifelessness to it yeah oh I'm sorry it's a painful place to be in you get used to it because it's survival but you don't you kind of stay pregnant your whole life but that's coming you have to start seeing you have to start breathing on your own you have to start feeling on your own now as we know and we'll see later a fetus in the womb gets everything but it's not the process of what happens later in other words the way you affect the fetus in the womb you can affect it more than you're affected later in life because it's so impressionable and it's so vulnerable and the way it absorbs things is not through the regular process of awareness even later as a child I had a schmooze yesterday with uh Dr Bessel Van Der cook so he said something he's like one of the world world experts on trauma trauma with a capital T already for 50 years so I asked him what's the difference if a child experience terrible trauma let's say when they're two or three or four those years or when you're let's say 9 10 11 similar similar things that are very very negative very toxic and evil and and horrible and and he said something I always felt that way but the way he put it was it was very validating for me he said there's a very big question if your eye was formed if your eye was formed already so then what happens to you is a process that's happening to someone who exists I exist you smack me in the face it hurts but you smack me in the face you smacked me in the face it hurts you made the worst things it hurts more but there's a me that you hurt he says when it happens at a very young age the eye wasn't formed yet the eye still doesn't know who it is there's no Foundation so he said so so what happens so he said you are the trauma the I is the trauma I don't have any other definition that that becomes the eye that becomes the very eye he says that's a whole different process because now there's no distinction between you and what happened that that is your answer is you understand the tragedy of that there's healing but he was describing the tragedy of it because it's pre it's pre-identity it's pre there's no solid identity in a way in the womb it's even deeper it's even deeper so you have to so there's something that happens in the womb a lot of things happen but not on a conscious level because it's not on a conscious level it's deeper because it goes through processes that you're not aware of but that that we're going to see soon about why gullus prepares for Gula it's a very deep moment why golus has something in it that's very very deep what we're talking about in terms of Consciousness that there's a child in the fetus in the womb and then there's a child coming out I'm saying when he says there's nothing happening in the womb there's a lot happening in the womb but the regular process is not happening the regular mind and heart that he's describing that starts functioning later at least in completely different way hmm sounds like that's horrendous impossible it's not impossible you have to be aware of it you have to be aware of it no it's very comforting by the way it's not that I know it sounds so tragic but the awareness of it is very comforting because sometimes people struggle not with pain but with not knowing if they are who they are why they are and they blame themselves why am I such a mashugana and this explains that no this is a very serious process that you went through and you have to stop blaming yourself you have to have compassion and really appreciate the fact that you survive that there's even something left there you know you could have fried your brain with drugs many years ago to deal with this pain there's even somebody here who could now disgust us that's that's very deep we speak the negative let's because of the positive this means that the attachment we give a child during those years is unbelievably powerful right has no separate existence right right right yes yes all right exactly in many ways the fetus is is the mother the gamara says it's an extension of the mother there's no separateness yet there's no Independence yet so there's tremendous influence but it's a completely different type of influence and that's why what happens during pregnancy is important what happens it's not it's important these are these are deep things huh in every way yeah in every way by the way even today it exists there are people who have the ability there's different ways to uh to sometimes have a glimmer of experience the way they were in the womb it's a very very profound experience Avada there's people who have a memory and experience it's not a memory like a memory I remember what happened yesterday but everything is stored in the soul you know everything is stored in the body and there when you say a memory it means it's always there in other words does the state of the eye the way I was in the womb and it still functions inside of me and it has an impact the question is if I'm conscious of it or completely not of that experience I don't know what I mean I just had to put in a few extra words to make sense of it a little bit so you put in glimmer you put an experience it sounds like I know what I'm talking about yeah some type of of of of of of of pre-verbal memory of how they the how they experience life in the womb it's a sensitivity yeah yeah there's even even situations where a person can almost experience how there was an interruption in the safety it's almost like you were in the womb the gamara says it's the best time in life you know it's a Canadian it's like why do you want to leave you know somebody else is paying the bills you know it's like you're in Cairo and Adam I've cast but this time you don't even have to go eat you don't have to go home and eat it's a Makaya right what do you need anything else it's a very safe safe and you need that safety you need that safety as an incubator to become a person to and then sometimes their safety is interrupted the safeties are yeah I can tell you this was last week of several person had such an experience they've had a very hard life and they had this experience you're going to think I'm crazy but this person uh okay listen you can't know for sure but I'm telling you the person's experiences that in the middle of the pregnancy his mother was raped very badly and and the fetus the fetus the fetus knows fetus knew everything and it literally affects the person till today he never knew this it's it's unbelievable it's unbelievable what the soul knows so I don't know that there's you know you define it as scientific data to be printed in a newspaper because these are so so abstract and so spiritual and so sensitive and I'm not an expert so I can't I can't verify or not verify you know in terms of a news story but it touches on unbelievable deep deep deep places so so the balatanis the statarea is describing to us here in in yiddishkai these two states so now he goes further [Music] I have to say one more thing he told me yesterday Dr Bessel Van Der cook he said that's from the beginning of the beginning of our lives we don't differentiate an infant doesn't differentiate between me and you it's not like I'm sitting here you're sitting here we're separate people there's a certain development in the brain that allows for that spatial and emotional differentiation there's me there's my mother there's me there's my father there's me there's the world in the beginning right it's it's all it's all actors it's it's all one so he said so so heartbreaking so he said if a father does something negative to a child or a mother or somebody else the child at a certain age doesn't have the ability to even differentiate that this was done by my father or somebody else to me this is all me in other words it's all it's all in me because of me it's all part of me so of course I'm the one to blame there's not even there's no separate reality that makes choices to hurt me it's all me so the pain is also me so I'm I'm the one to blame for everything there's nobody even else to blame so you can't even Define a perpetrator you are the perpetrator besides the fact you're wired to love your parents so if you want to love your parents you'll always say your parents are right because they love you so even on a level of of of of intellect it's going to be turned around obviously what you did you deserved even if you could understand that there's parents which is at a later stage so he said you have to realize how deep the the the the the pain can affect a person to the point that they completely have a distorted reality of who they are and who the other person is and then they grow up with this perception that is completely based on an identity that has been so destroyed not because of themselves and the greatest Yeshua for this person is just to be aware of this just to be aware of it first test and it's very powerful stuff to hear this very powerful right two years old this is who I am right you're saying he's describing what we Define about ourselves the conceptualized self that we create based on our abilities at the time right this is the self that I decided I am or I Have Become I asked them do you believe that there's a core self that's indestructible I don't know I don't know he said I know in your tradition it's a big thing I said yeah so I said so I want to ask you a question you're in this for 50 years you don't sound cynical why haven't you become cynical you've seen so much horror why would you become cynical I was trying to lead to the answer from a different direction so he says because I look at people who have been through hell within hell with in hell and their core is not destroyed so I said I'm not sure what you say you don't believe in the core self that you're right and he said himself he says they inspire me what should I tell you they're supposed to be dead and they're not I don't know why so you were supposed to be killed on every level but you're not so essentially he considers himself an atheist but I'm saying he essentially I told them you should re-examine if you're really not such a Believer because you're you're saying very Transcendent ideas but it's a very very powerful thing when you say on the Sham is what does that mean it means if somebody did something yeah they you can't rape God Titus try to you know the gemara says that Titus stabbed the paragas and blood came out he said I killed God like the subway station right God is dead signed Nietzsche and then under it Nietzsche is dead signed God so it's an unbelievable idea it means that the helical saw everything it was there it felt the pain because God is there but it was not it was not destroyed by the way I want to say one thing almost in every mimer Dalton says he's going to say it soon in a few lines again every moment I don't know if there's a few my modem he doesn't say it but hundreds of my mother he brings Apostle you all know foreign why does he care so much about this occasion fine you hear pre-creation is still wonders you haven't changed and if you did change so most people think it's a philosophical formulation that the Jewish philosopher is had a problem with God changing because Perfection can change and infinity can change and it actually makes God more distant like you're this Perfection who never changes you know what it has to do with me I'm changing you know every three seconds okay but really the whole is the opposite and the world is still in the same state of Oneness like pre-creation it means that that's who you are that's the nakuda it means that you could go through every change in the world you can go through every upheaval in the world you could be on every roller coaster in the world but at your core you have not been mutilated you have not been violated your Oneness with yourself and infinity and Hashem has not been compromised even in the slightest I everything happened just like by God what do you mean he didn't change what he created the world is that cool change seven and a half billion people has not changed a whole planet does not change a whole universe we don't even know how big it is right billions of light years and we know what a light year is when we haven't changed really you're sharing a lot [Music] it's not that there's no world there is a world and still you say it's still the same actus so you have to understand how that works what the world is what that means for a person is that you can go through every single change in the world and you do you do worlds get created worlds get destroyed so now you're a changed person Ally is no that if you go back to that space you go through the whole process and you're present but your your your core Oneness is never ever ever altered or compromised that's the core of all healing how I see it I'm saying this to you because almost every reminder he says it and people think he's talking philosophy it's not philosophy it's transformational because he's not giving information about God he's giving information about you the point is it's one you understand now I know to say this and to feel this is two different worlds I know that but it starts with awareness starts with awareness The Heist s if I State ah one second of three what right but that's the whole avoida when you learn it's like you're in the you're you're in an incubator but the main thing is when you uh you know there was a map when the alternator was alive in the 1700s they started to make maps of the world they brought him a map of America the 1700s they brought out a map of America so uh he looked at it and he said there's a mistake and he pointed to one part in the map in the United States it wasn't called the United States yet but maybe it was but uh he said there's a mistake he showed that this is off so they asked out to them well you were ever he was never in America he lived in a little Stateline in Belarus he said there's a mistake they should go find out so they researched Mustafa nerves they asked about how did you know so he said that in the Bays of bodacious there's a picture of the planet and he saw that it doesn't fit with the base so he understood that it's offensive so there was once a fabranging by the lab in 770 1980. and one of the Gabby was making an announcement he told the story he told the story in front of the Obama so the rabbi said these words this was in America in 1980s the main thing is when you come to America don't repeat this error what's the shot the shot is you have America the way it's a banacious butter and then you actually land you have to be able to make a link between the two number three what did you want to say when you say Hashem didn't change in other words all of creation didn't compromise the reality so that that defines who I am that if you trace yourself back to your core right you are part of that Infinity it's it describes you today not pre-creation when he says even though there was creation it's like there was no creation it's still Oneness who oh you it doesn't us describe him describes it describes me it's a very deep idea it's not so simple is one of the foundations of of Teresa balatanya you're not skipping you're not skipping anything you're elevating you're not skipping there was a symptom there's an awareness of self there's all my issues that I got to deal with no question that's one side of it but what's the ultimate healing for all my issues trace it all back to the core of Oneness where you ain't safe let's put it this way if when I was two years old or three years old I can experience myself as pure Infinity God's light in this world I could see it I can feel it right and God says now you and I together are going to go through a painful experience we're going to go into a very dark place with his Darkness and we're going to feel it but how are we going to feel it as Infinity how do you think you would experience what happened to you by that person who perpetrated and violated your innocence how it would be the same it would be the pain and the horror and the Darkness but when it's finished what do you say [Music] I'm infinite so instead of coming out of the experience and saying what I'm the worst creature who ever lived I'm a sick person I am to blame for what just happened I'm Unworthy of existence I have no value I'm a shematah and a doormat and a rag yeah my father mother don't think I deserve to exist meaning I don't deserve to exist because they know right or my whole existence could only be worthwhile if I become an object of violation that's where my existence becomes that's how I'll be loved or I could never ever ever show up again in the world because that eye is too embarrassing it's too shameful let me bury it and I'll just become a fake person or this pain is too much to bear so let me disassociate from my body and disconnect so now you could do whatever you want to my body I won't feel anything because my soul leaves my body it's called disassociation I don't have emotions anymore because if I have emotions I would die you put a a sword a dagger into my chest I die but if my chest is just dead it's fine stab stabs that's what kids do they disassociate emotionally and now it's just a shell do whatever you want to me I'm good all of this is what all of this is a little frightened child trying to survive which we understand exists means go back and say you were ain't safe you are ain't safe you don't have to be afraid of your emotions they should be afraid of their emotions huh yeah of course blame them it's much deeper than blame it's it's not just blame them it's realizing that that that that it has nothing to do that that you're a piece of light you have sick people sick people who maybe were abused themselves or not abused themselves but they're certainly sick they certainly don't know about their own lights right they live in the deepest darkness and in their their their horrific Darkness This Is How They survived oh if a person when a person goes through this process it's transformational because ah it's extremely painful it's very painful because the way out of pain is through pain I have to work through this that's what huh who's doing it who's doing it is the per the the the the the person who in his own heart and mind is completely alienated from their own soul and sickened and detached could be Hashem after you go through this process in a very deep way you could reach a place and say like Yosef I wasn't sold I was sent in other words but you have to be very sensitive with this I'm just saying because it's gonna it's intense that my soul knowing how powerful it is was ready to go into this place to be able to survive the darkness and transform the darkness but you can start your healing with that because it's too it's too romantic if you start your healing with this you're just lying ah it's just you don't want to deal with the pain so yeah it was beautiful words if it's coming not from a place of repression and denial and lying to yourself you understand is a deep deep avoider it's not uh I don't want to get angry comes all the time I'm afraid I'm afraid that's part of the abuse can be part of the abuse you understand I kill you and now now now say say it's good say it's good say it's good huh you're perpetuating you're perpetuating the truth in your mind that you don't exist and you don't have a right to exist and when somebody kills the when somebody destroys you it's a wonderful thing it's beautiful it couldn't have been better you know it's like the old joke they say there was a a fella walking he got lost on a hike and he was stuck somewhere in some Hicktown on a dirt road and he doesn't know what to do he's known this before the iPhone before the before the before the mobile phones he's stuck and then suddenly he sees a pickup truck a farmer is driving a pickup truck and there's a bunch of animals there there's there's cows and sheep and goats and chickens and roosters and birds so he says can I get a lift you're going to town he says yeah can I get a lift with you he says yeah jump in so he goes in and he's thankful he's going to get a lift the town and he'll be able to find his way home anyway unfortunately the truck goes over a ditch and falls into a ditch and then falls down a cliff and rolls over and it's a terrible accident and this poor guy gets thrown out of the pickup truck and he falls into his assistant or a ditch somewhere and he's wounded and bleeding and maimed and feeling pain everywhere anyway here's the farmer come out of the truck and starts looking at the animals he says this sheep it's worthless it's wounded shoots the Sheep looks at the goat the goat is bleeding it's worthless he shoots he shoots the cows he looks at the chickens they're all wounded and destroyed he shoots them all he says you guys are worthless you're sick you wounded and then he's looking around and he sees he sees the passenger right who's in the he says hey how you doing he says I have never been better I've never been better you know right doesn't want to be shocked so he was smart yeah so I'm being beaten and I have never been better it could come from a very beautiful place or it could come I just don't want to be shot it's a survival Instinct the survival you have to say it's good also but it's not coming from a place of internal peace and therefore it's going to bite me I'm going to resent it I'm gonna I'm gonna become more detached I'm not going to trust what I say either so the process of transformation is a very very deep process where a person can ultimately reach a place and say my soul chose to go down this dark corridor because there were Sparks that I had to elevate there like we learned in the last mime about the nitsutsu's there was something I had to learn there was some Redemption I had to bring to the world maybe my role in this world is to be able to be an empathetic witness for others how could you be an empathetic witness if you haven't experienced it I can't Maybe I don't know but the point is when a person could really go back to their own ain't safe like Joseph told his brothers you didn't sell me Hashem sent me well he knew that they sold him he didn't sell me who sold them who sold them Queen Elizabeth sold them who sold them his brother sold one of you didn't sell me um he was reframing it I wasn't a victim of your abuse I was a schliach of Hashem of course he acknowledged the pain it's a painful place not every schlichus is is Rosy and dandy it was a painful place he was thrown into one pit he was separated from his father for 22 years he lived in an assimilated country he was accused of horrible things he was put into prison for 12 years that's not fun 22 years you're right so the answer to that is we all have a dream and when you see that that dream begins to be completed you know that this is your mission but part of abuse is that we're not allowed to remember our dreams there's no such a thing a soul that doesn't have a dream Every Soul has a dream us Soul's dream think when you were two years old three years old you didn't dream everybody dreams when you were four or five huh you're right so as life develops we start seeing dreams and we do this work we start seeing dreams coming true dreams unfolding and then you know you're achieving this place you know that you're on this mission there's another challenge Yosef had 17 years to dream the kid who was abused at a very young age his dreams were interrupted you stopped dreaming there's people who don't have a memory of their childhood they'll have no memory of their childhood because their dreams were interrupted kids dream you know they dream this kid dreams that he's going to be a policeman and this kid dreams he's going to be the president of the United States of America and this kid dreams that he's gonna go to the moon and go to you know kids dream they dreamed it's a very beautiful innocent world but part of abuse is they interrupt your dreams right there's no dreaming anymore now you're just surviving you're surviving huh it could be a could be a million and one things that that cause our hearts to shatter at the age already of four and five and we stop dreaming not everybody is out of kids dream they dream they once asked the day once somebody once told the Punjab or of Khan man he had big Visions after the warm you're dreaming he says I don't dream while I sleep I sleep I dream while I'm awake most people dream when they're asleep he says I dream when I'm awake [Music] first taste so that's the nakoda [Music] yes oh yeah yeah it's it's part of it's part of it's part of a human experience when we're young we dream the gemara says foreign [Music] don't touch my anointed ones and don't harm my prophets who are these anointed ones don't touch my mashiach so the gemara says these are the children at the navi the prophet calls the children my little anointed ones mashiach from the word anointed right means the anointed anointed king so what does this mean on one level it means don't touch children don't harm them physically don't harm them emotionally don't harm them spiritually but there's something deeper that it's saying what is it every child growing up this I heard from Rabbi I didn't even stand every child growing up has a dream and if it's a Jewish child the dream is usually one of two things either I'm going to be mashiach or I'm going to bring mashiach one of those two dreams in one way or another you'll find the cure for cancer you'll find the cure for Alzheimer's for dementia for depression either I'm going to be mashiach or I'll bring mashiach that's the dream as I grow up you stop dreaming the world is a cynical place you're trying to survive and pay your bills or make a couple of dollars you don't have the labavage bug you know you're not much now I'm just trying to survive be a good Jew so he says whatever happens in life don't allow that inner inner mashiach in you to get crushed to get stifled don't lose your idealism don't lose your capacity to dream don't lose your ability to be able to see not what the world is but what it can be when a child looks at the world from a very innocent place you know you imagine what it can be even things that are only in Dreams they're not realistic but you see a Rosy world where the regular limitations don't exist because you're a child maybe it comes from immaturity but it really comes from innocence but then often that pardon me dies and I just become about survival I'm trying to keep my head above water there's pain there's anxiety there's Financial stress there's familial stress there's raising kids just dealing with illness there's dealing with lost is dealing with grief does dealing with inner tension and anxiety you know the works who has time to think of this says never ever touch or harm or repress the child inside of you or in anybody else that that always always protected always protected inside of you so part of this process is always be able to come back to that dream and when you come back to that dream which always exists and hasn't been changed that's when you could say like yes if you start seeing that I wasn't sold I was sent what I'm saying resonates with you or not really I hear you but it resonates yeah it's too poetic huh and then right so right so what we have to do is so we have to do is as we go through the experience again and we're about to be sucked in again into the quicksand we have to come to it with Consciousness before Hanukkah before put him before pesach before Shabbos before parishes for Ada I have to say I'm going to go into the same place but I'm going to do it differently this time I'm not going to get lost I'm not going to let others Define me you know what maybe I'm going to have to leave early you go in from a place of confidence and control huh yeah the therapist who told me once that there's a couple and whenever they go to his in-laws it's explosive because every five minutes his father-in-law has a comment and then his mother-in-law has a comment you know you don't know how to raise your kids and why don't you doing this and you know so he told his wife I'm not going to their house anymore especially for pesach it's a gehenem every five minutes there's a criticism and a comment we're staying home but she wants to go to her parents you know it's her father parents and her siblings she wants to be there so they came to a therapist what should you do so the therapist said this is what I suggest it was a brilliant piece of advice he said make up before yamtov type up or write up a checklist of everything your father-in-law is going to say during the Seder from so many years of experience you know every comment everything is going to say everything your mother-in-law is going to say but everything everything just like a list let's say 230 comments okay and when he says it yeah you look at each other check check obviously if you can physically check but make a mental check and then after he'll physically check off you'll see how many you got right he told me he was a lifesaver because instead of it becoming an abusive situation it became almost like a game literally like a game first of all they have to guess before what the schweather are going to say so that itself is exciting right and then every time he said it instead of it being this crazy guy can't let me live they looked at each other they laughed they laughed next waiting for the next checklist now what happened nothing changed but everything changed you know what changed right initially they were coming in as victims cases waiting for him to say something you know another step another stack another stack until they lose it now they almost came in as researchers as scientists as as Spectators almost as therapists like let's watch this guy Ah that's ah Observers it wasn't personal anymore it wasn't to me he is who he is whatever hopefully one day he'll also be able to heal one day they'll be able to give him the list in there right but you understand they became they came in as powerful people it didn't make it comfortable but it almost became like it was like uh it was like a game it was pathetic it's like it's like a bad joke it's like a bad joke but it's a joke you know somebody makes a bad joke it's not abuse it's a bad joke okay you know but it's almost like funny now but you can't do that you have to be ready for this because if somebody is getting angry and enraged you have to understand that that's what's happening you know this was already a state where they had Independence but this was triggering them it was almost like like like let your father-in-law be your father-in-law you don't have to live for him and you can't fix him at the moment but you know what don't be slept in by him so we have to go into all the amount of him and all the shabasam especially those that trigger us with a place from a place of of Ani Hashem and the assimilation is you need support everybody needs support we're not isolated creatures what is mean is the most healing idea means that my ego is not fragilesh means that I'm not such a fragile person that if you say a comment to me I'm destroyed if there's a yankeesh there so now you give it a punch and the Yash is damaged bitulaesh means that I'm part of infinity so I can be present I can be present and even when I'm triggered that the very trigger I can be aware of but it doesn't have to uh lure me in and pull me in to its grip I could be there fully I can watch it I can experience it the gemara says in Yuma what's chuva chuva gamura Isha which means I'm back in the same situation like I was then and I do it differently the rambam explains you know when I was 20 and 30 I was doing things that were not nice and then when I'm 99 years old right in a nursing home I say you know what I'm gonna do Trevor it's nice it's good trouba but it's not it's not the ultimate truth ultimate truth is I can go back to the same place in the same time and the same woman and I do it differently this means you really change so what does that really mean it means chuva's healing the Gomorrah says healing when it's when you hear the word shuva you should always know true equals healing that's what you should hear in the word truth I'm saying this because many people when they hear the word shuva it's a terrible trigger you have to do you're gonna burn you have to do children means you call you can all we can all heal yeah when you hear ELO already people now are already scared of Ellen right ello says a month dedicated to Healing it's like I'm taking you for a month to a spa in Florida you're going to eat beautiful Foods you're going to walk by the water for 12 hours you're gonna meditate and you're gonna heal right it's nice doesn't make people huh sounds terrible walking by the water is so terrible oh I see so you have to understand hello is a time for healing it's here it's all healing yet it could be the environment I'm in it's very very negative but it's really about healing opportunities are vulnerable conversation so why am I saying this I forgot oh so the number says the number says what does real what does real healing mean that I can go into the same territory where there were so many triggers and instead of falling I come from the place of Ania and then I could be fully present but without being lured into the to the trap to the prison and that that's what healing is now this is all much easier said than done because In the Heat of the Moment you know all these lectures become meaningless and worthless because didn't ah yeah the word is not so do the nervous system has to believe it in other words the fact that you believe me in your brain doesn't help because the body experiences it the body knows everything so the nervous system goes crazy but this is this is where we have to work with ourselves sometimes people need support sometimes people need different models of healing but the common denominator in all of them is to be able to go back to that space inside of us that is whole that is infinite that is divine and is indestructible and where all the processes even creation itself didn't take away the ain't safe of it so there's different between pregnant and summation so we have pregnancy and we have birth so the way the way he describes it in pregnancy I may go through all their experiences of yiddishkait I eat the food but it goes through the navel it goes through the belly button through the umbilical cord my soul gets food but there's a certain apathy there's a certain coldness there's there's a lack of of seeing of hearing of experiencing that that's shut down because I'm still in a state of pregnancy and that's why Godless is compared to pregnancy and Google is compared to birth [Music] you are abusive oh good question good question foreign good good question so he's asking a good morning that for two and a half years had an argument what do Jews argue about two and a half years right um if it was better that you were created or not created you know Jews can argue about this yeah two and a half years said better not but still said better yes so the alternate baskets and look what the title Powers should say hey I don't understand it says impartious bodacious are smarter than God Hashem says it's good no salted episodes he says it doesn't say in the gemara most people call this gamada wrongly it doesn't say never it says means comfortable obviously it's good that you were created Hashem says it's good the question is if it's comfortable this is much easier with that but type of course it's good good doesn't always mean comfortable ask your personal trainer if I'm comfortable it may not be good Comfort zones are not good they're comfortable they're not good taking guys they're going out of a comfort zone it's not comfortable but it's good you know stretching the muscle lifting a heavy weight not comfortable tears the tissue but it's good two separate things you have to ask yourself is it comfortable maybe not is it good it's very good it's time there's even a deeper of Art in another mimer but it's not for now but he says doesn't mean it would have been more comfortable if you weren't created every person has a state of Loy nivra because the nashama doesn't begin with then the summer begins in pure Divine Light called that Silas later Barossa so every person exists on two levels there's a level where your nivra and there's a state where you're loynevra your pre Bria and the assimilation is you're part of being safe he says if you would have remained in the state of line over there it's much more comfortable because it's pre-pain it's pre-trauma you hear the words is describing a person you were you were in a place of life That's So when you say nisi it means that still exists you're still in a state of linear in your core you're in a state of Life repaid that's the kiddish that debris is a briar that's separate only from the perspective of concealment but if you go to a place of pre-concealment everything still is is in pure infinite Oneness including every tree and every squirrel a heavy person on every table Etc as many my modem explained is no trauma trauma can only be a nivera within the separateness trauma's isolation trauma's Detachment traumas I'm alone in the world there's no trauma the trauma is also it's not trauma it's a different EX it's a schlichus it's not trauma is the Indian ah of course but when you say before it doesn't mean in time it's always it's beyond time you understand truth is that what makes trauma so traumatic is that it's beyond time and space if you wait if you hurt me in this time and like I spoke last time this time in space it's much more bearable when there's no time and space so so if you really want to go deep and again it's very sensitive trauma forces us to go to the place of life of iron because that's where you can recreate yourself so the real reason why trauma has no time and space the negative reason is because it's so impactful is the reason has no time and spaces because that allows you to go to a place that's beyond time and space it allows you to go to Ayana time and space in other words if you Channel it if you harness it if you allow if you allow yourself to become healed it brings you to a place that's pre-time and space so what's not what what didn't have time and space in the world of Darkness is really the primuses because in Atmos in hashem's essence there's no time and space yeah but that's uh that's That's Heavy it's heavy I know it almost sounds somebody told me after one of the sugar from you shoot him it sounds like that it's so good to be traumatized and if you weren't traumatized like you never had loser like lately you're functioning you have a self it's like I just want to say that is true you don't say I'm going to sin and then do true I'm going to get sick so I could develop antibodies right you don't do that a person obviously but when a person has has gone through things then you have to appreciate you don't sell your brother into slavery so that he should be able to uh to to save you that's not how it works you take care of your brother but when Joseph when it did happen to him he understood that is okay I'm gonna wish everybody a wonderful day Hashem Sunday morning there's going to be a sheer next week we're going to learn the mimer of Basi lagani like we do before you Trot a very special mimer so there's going to be when so the next we're going to have Shabbos this year maybe we'll continue this mimer but uh Sunday morning there'll be a share by Israel Hashem 8 30 8 30 over here and we'll send out the details on the WhatsApp Monday also and Tuesday also next week is uh full schedule Russia [Music] a few years ago a few years ago when I was a Booker my father used to my parents just got the New York Times every day so I remember I once looked at the New York Times and I saw that they published the first maps of America and I saw that the date was the middle of the 1700s so they printed maps and I I no Columbus came in 1492. but these are maps in the 70s and I saw in the New York Times they showed that by California there was a bad bad mistake I'm not saying that this was the map they showed out today but I remember I saw and I was amazed mid 1700s like in the 1770s around maybe 80s or maybe 90s in the late 1700s they showed like three or four maps and they showed a mistake a very big mistake near California it was a map that was drawn in the 1700s from the United States of America I don't know if it was a government map I just remember seeing the story and then when I saw the mistake I'm like oh wow I saw they published The New York Times maps from the 1700s years ago like 25 years ago I remember it was by California they pointed out they showed they showed the mistake the person made a mistake they didn't have now they didn't have then the technology we have today but they did in the 1400 already they had maps of America they had something obviously yeah the the class today is dedicated by a b share thank you very very much I'm Main ly on the website the yeshiva.net you could dedicate oh mazel tov I do