Can You Tune Into Your Spouse?

there's two ways in which marriages operate one is the simakis and one is the samach rashi says [Music] if you're going to translate this passage i'll be happy the first year with my wife you're making a mistake why are you making a mistake what's wrong for a relationship to really thrive and reach its most powerful place its most powerful potential is when a person can truly tune in and ask themselves what does the other person really need what does the other person really want that i can give when a husband and a wife ask this question let me really tune in to you let me really think about who you are your mental space your neshama your life your challenges your gifts what your day looks like what your night looks like your weaknesses your fears your joys your hopes your dreams really tune into it and bring joy to that place what am i going to get out of it but what is she going to do in return but what is he going to do in return and where do i come into the picture okay i got it if there is betrayal if there's a lack of trust this can't happen but in a healthy relationship of two mentally emotionally stable people who work on themselves and who want a good marriage if the focus of a marriage remains limited to quit you did this for me yesterday i'll do this for you today you made me happy yes okay i owe you one favor the relationship lives in a very superficial place [Music] the yeshiva.net