Rabbi Yossi Kantor - Bring Your Prayers to Life: A Deeper Understanding of Prayer - Part 1

okay gentlemen so remember we said yesterday in order to reach a level of enjoyment for anything in life what is necessary to do now if we're talking about instant gratifying things let's say eating pizza um going to movies right if if we're dealing with uh how to enjoy pizza how to enjoy movies how to enjoy all these things is it so difficult what do you you don't need so much uh uh things to do in order to begin to like pizza you just put it into your mouth that's it it's enjoyable right oh but remember we use the example of the um art gallery right that i sat at the louvre i went to the louvre with my father and i looked at the mona lisa and i was like i can't believe people come from all over the world to look at this it seems like garbage i'm just like what the heck is going on here right so someone who's an art uh connoisseur what will they tell me anyone know you're blind dude why am i blind you just don't have the taste don't have taste all you see is the surface you're not looking deeper right you i'm not i haven't contemplated enough art i don't understand how art works right so the key thing especially for judaism which we have a guarantee that if we put the time and put the work in not only will it be our enjoyment in the next world would be eternal enjoyment in the next world but in this world it has potential to be the most enjoyable most pleasurable most meaningful thing a person can do mitzvah's prayer torah they all have within them the potential to be the greatest most pleasurable meaningful thing in our lives but it's not going to come the same way the enjoyment for pizza comes i'm sorry right but anything that a person really wants to enjoy in life cannot come easily right you have to work up a appetite for it right and how do we do that so we talked about yesterday via contemplation right by taking the mitzvahs taking whatever we're learning in the torah taking the prayers that we're saying and this might hurt your brains a little bit but thinking about them right and when we think about them we will try to uh hopefully it'll get us to a higher level of enjoyment for them and what's going on so we started off with what's the first thing a jew does when he wakes up in the morning gentlemen moda ni we're thanking god for restoring our soul to us right and we said this very interesting kiddish a very interesting novel idea here much different from the way that the rest of the world looks at life right how do how does the rest of the world view life what is the american government rights ah the bill of rights right that i'm owed things right and what's the problem with looking at the world as if you're owed things that everything is that you deserve things that you're owed things anyone any anyone can think of any problems that happen by that i don't appreciate them selfish i don't appreciate well i'll tell you there's a there's a there is a natural phenomenon that takes place in the world and uh whether you like it or not you can't deny this natural phenomenon sam i want you to know this natural phenomenon that happens in the world right a person gets from his parent a beautiful car keys to a car how excited are you for that new car very excited what about a week later still so excited still pretty excited month later less excited year later how do you feel about things that don't work in it right how do you feel about your relationship with your mother the first day she gives you that car super duper grateful cause mom i didn't have this car and you gave me this car and i'm so happy and i'm willing to thank you and i'm willing to take the garbage out i'm gonna do whatever you ask of me with happiness what happens a week later sweetie will you take the garbage out what do you say mom i'm playing video games mom i'm playing video games what she looks at what happened why a week ago when i got to this car you were so happy to do whatever i asked of you so why not now yeah that's i i i've thought to try to figure out like like what is like the spiritual mechanism happening here and i can't figure it out all i know is that this is a fact of life you get something the first day you think yourself i didn't have it now i do have it i'm happy i got something new but after a week you say it's mine i've alwa i've always had it and i deserve it and crusader you know now what's next i want something new right and that's how people get very depressed because here you have a person who's fully healthy right who is like a big percentage of depressed people in today's world a lot of people who have everything they have everything they have money they have an education right they have and why are they depressed because they're looking at life as if i deserve i i need more right i have it and and you look at these people they have like we said a lot a lot of things go out there oh so good we already see from the beginning of the senator the rabbis hashem in our prayers what's the main one of the main things that it's trying to inculcate trying to bring into our natural psyche do i deserve anything no who says i deserve anything who says i deserve life hashem says i deserve life but jim says no i'm giving you life as a gift you deserve it for the period that he gives you it i mean you maybe you don't even deserve it maybe he's giving it to you as a gift right that's the idea of a gift you don't even deserve it and that's you know so how do we see that in the modernity that i'm starting off the first thing i meditate on in the morning i conjure in the morning hashem you have returned my soul to me and i'm grateful for that how many of us are happy that we're living life no i'm unhappy because i have the iphone 4 an iphone 5 is out and i don't have that so what do we say bro forget about the iphone for two seconds do you realize you have something much greater than iphone and i'll prove it to you how much is an iphone 300 300 bucks would you i hate to say forget about giving up your life for an iphone would you give up a pinky finger for your iphone would you give up a pinky toe for your iphone see even even one of the one thing that we that is almost unuseful in our body i mean it is useful but we don't even think about how this pinky we would not give it up for an iphone and how happy are we that we have this pinky how happy would you be if i gave you the new iphone how happy would you be i mean you'd be a pretty happy dude i have a phone that works what if i gave you just a new ferrari would you be you guys be happy you got a new ferrari i'd be happy would you trade your pinky for a ferrari no you would not even trade this pinky for right so when you woke up this morning were you like yes huh did i get a mechanical one no you cannot get a mechanical pinky so you wake up in the morning your pinky works right how many of you how happy would you be show me the face you would have tanner if i just gave you a new ferrari beauty like life is great what about your pinky you woke up in the morning and you felt that same way about your pinky that like wow i have a pinky no why not because like we said the world works on this rule this spiritual rule that what you have you get sick of and you take for granted so we are coming in our morning prayers every jew to try our hardest to overcome that is today why did god make it like that why did god make the world like that that once i obtain something i'm happy about it for let's say i don't know a day in today's world you get something new you're happy about it for maybe an hour i saw a really interesting um article about a guy who spends his entire life buying and selling things and he says i don't even get enjoyment from buying the newest hottest electronic device anymore because it's just left me i don't enjoy getting things anymore the only thing that comes to my mind is like now that i have to get rid of it so i can get something new it's like it's like it just showed me what happens to a person who just gets more and more things who has the ability to just get whatever the enjoyment doesn't even settle for one minute after a while when you get something new okay so why did god do it why'd god make it that when we owned something the test wouldn't be too easy up key word there to test us shim says i'm designing you that if you don't do anything let way to keep away from where you disagree just hear me out hashem says i'm i'm going to design you in a way that if you do nothing if you just experience the world without thinking about it you're naturally going to get i guess uh depressed because you're going to be taking the world for granted you're going to get things and you're not going to feel any gratitude for them so the test is are you going to spend time every day different moments of every day meditating on that you don't deserve anything meditating on who says i deserve anything and in that way allowing yourself to appreciate more the basic things that you're being given and to not only live a not depressed life but to live a very happy life what do you say if you don't like it you like it no no i can i can deal with the last part i was just gonna say maybe another reason why god created it that way was so that because there's a there's a an opinion that says that the reason why we forget torah so quickly is that we can enjoy learning it again okay so maybe like it'd be something along the lines of like god gave it to us to you know allow us to have true appreciation for things oh i think that's a good point also yeah i would add on to that i i um remember we said what is the the best way to not take something for granted how how does a person oh well the best way is really to actually lose it or to come really close to losing remember we used the example yesterday of a near-death experience the guy who's almost died is walking around super happy so please we i think we all pray to god hashem don't make it be that i that the only way i'll get to a level of gratitude is by me almost dying and you see for some people that's what has to happen though some people have to get that that just to get that that that feeling of happiness for life that it has to come to that but we hope that it doesn't so what do we try to do the next best thing that not hashem don't even come close to taking away let me just meditate on not having it and and that also has an ability to make us happier to make us more grateful so based on that i have another qrish tell me what you think of this why did god create sleep good question based on that i would guess the answer no based on that the lines that you know you go to sleep and you're a little bit dead every night and then you get to appreciate the fact that you get to wake up very good very good man that's that's maybe i'm not saying this is this is rabbi cantor telling you the reason that god created sleep no but maybe one of the reasons though hold on man you just said the greatest thing you're a national tell me let me just explain to the people that that listen gentlemen when we go to sleep not only do we lose basically life free will which we talked about with the soul right the first thing we think is so is our soul which is really our ability to battle our yates of our battle our ability to have free will and choose to be righteous people we lose a lot more than our soul we lose our ability to see ability to hear right our ability to move in the morning okay no you wake up from sounds right but but if people if if i'm whispering right if there's something very light happening you don't hear it where if you're awake you would hear it you're right it does that you get the point sound hearing uh sorry sound sight our ability to move right you're just stuck in place right and you wake up and if a person truly meditates on what just happened he could create a level of gratitude inside of himself that wow i can move i can and and it doesn't have to be god was showing me that he could take it away so it's almost like a little mini near-death experience every day that i can meditate on and reach a somewhat of a level of gratitude and you'll see gentlemen that that is very much what's going on in a jewish morning very much the blessings the meditations the contemplations whatever you want to call them that we engage in in the morning are just to jolt that into our mind that hashem i when i was asleep i was blind i couldn't see and you poke akivrim you give sight to the blind right that i really was blind who says i deserve sight do i deserve sight i don't know about you guys but i use my eyes for not the greatest things right who says i deserve it not only do i you know i i might not be using it exactly for what hashem wants you said you know so who says i should have it maybe hashem should take it away from me he shouldn't i hope he doesn't but so so now i can feel a little bit more gratitude for having eyes okay so good so now that we have that so we went through the mode danny yeah sorry matt we're gonna have so i mean i think that's only half the story as far as that though yeah what else the other half is yes we wake up and that gets to give our our physical self the appreciation but at the same time our nephesh stems from hashem himself so it must be agony every moment that the soul isn't with hashem so he has to give it that reprieve so it can so the naftas can have gratitude as well for the fact that it gets to return to hashem at some point oh that's that's a really beautiful idea that that like sleep he's saying also very nice that sleep is also a not only a physical um what's it called revival but also spiritual vibe that the soul gets to kind of like go on vacation from the this world of things that the soul doesn't love you know what i'm saying and be with hashem for six to eight hours right um right right well depending on how inspired you are could be less less hours right um okay so good so that your friend's birthday last night or it was your friend's birthday right so mo danny right we said what's the main thing gentleman i said even if you all right the goal is that we don't just buzz through these words so sometimes what i have to do for myself and i give you guys uh maybe some advice before you say a blessing just think what is the main contemplation of this blessing so then even if you speed through it you're still getting like the basic um meditation basic contemplation which will really change you so what's the basic contemplation when we say modani first of all the translation is uh thank you hashem for returning my soul to me with mercy great is your faithfulness right those are the words so the contemplation should be how to summarize that how can i summarize that and either just have it going through my mind before i say the words or during what's the basic summary step one i don't necessarily deserve life you've given me back my life with mercy and why did you give me life back with mercy why did you give my life back why you didn't have to if if i was a normal employee chances are i would be fired by now if i was working for such a company like with god as the ceo you know i would probably be fired right so why did you give it back to me akiva the beautiful words are because you have faith in me you are not like any other boss you see much further than the normal boss that loses a couple hundred thousand dollars because i was you know playing around on facebook instead of working right that you see the longer picture you see i can be what you created me to be and the fact that i have life right now proves that you have faith in me good mo danny done next gentlemen so there's different you know we're actually we're just going to skip to the bracha over our over the hands right because what's happened is the person wakes up says morani wash his hands goes to the bathroom uh we'll go through the technical stuff maybe a different time but um for now we're just getting more towards spiritual things so go to page 14 15. we tell the shamburuk all right we we we wash our hands and we say the bracha al nitila daim now if we analyze the grammar of this blessing right and we won't get into the baruch hashem right now maybe maybe maybe later we will but i want to get the main point across here first we're telling hashem that you sanctified us with your commandments and you commanded us how do you translate that gentleman on the washing of our hands on the washing of our hands now is the word nitila to correct the best possible word to be used for washing you guys know what washing is usually right why not if the commandment is to wash our hands so why not nithila you should know right i don't i don't know if it means washing so um some perushing some explanation explain that anatla another is the aramaic translation of the the thing that you use for the washing of your hands right that on the on the using of that cup for my hands natala is that good for you guys you guys like that like i still have a question okay fine so it kind of means washing but why not just use word washing why use this like like aramaic word that translates to the cup used for washing it's not about the water being on your hands it's about you pouring the water on your head oh so akiva is getting a little bit spiritual i'm getting there kiva okay the other thing is gentlemen the word nitila in hebrew can you if you if you look in the tanakh it is used for raising on the raising of our hands it's not the most common word for raising the most common word for raising would be alot if i just wanted to say hashem you've commanded me on the raising of my hands so that would be al aliyat yadain right to raise up my hands you should know a lot of people have the custom i think it's brought down that when they say this broker they lift up their hands right they raise the hands so this you have this word that is that can mean um uh washing the cup that's used for washing and it can also mean raising it's a cool word because it can mean both right if i only had washing of the hand so i wouldn't get the whole raising idea and if i only had raisin ants i wouldn't get the whole washing idea so what's going on here that's my question what's going on with this blessing right why in the same wording do we want to get off the across the picture of the raising of hands and the washing of hands so there's a couple cool answers i would say first when we wash our hands who washed their hands anyone know in uh in our torah where the uh who was commanded by the torah to wash their hands the levium have a commandment to wash the kohanim's hands the ko the kohen's hands the kohen the quantity were the ones who served in the in the temple right and they spent their entire day doing what service direct service of god sorry oh fine so the quran were in the direct service of god and they had a mitzvah before to wash their hands right to purify themselves before they began their day's work so with that clue why do we wash our hands are we going to serve in the temple no well not the physical temple gentlemen but every jew his life is about serving god right it doesn't necessarily have to mean that you're going and offering a sacrifice in the temple or whatever doing the incense that happened in the temple but a person can do it that every action of his life is centered around god oh you're going to work you can go to work in a godly way you're talking to your children you're talking to your wife you can do that in a godly way there's a way that to do every action of my life in a godly way so the same way as the cohen washed his hands to prepare himself for a day of service of god i also washed my hands as a preparation of a day of service of god interesting another idea the raising of our hands akiva is going to like this right now we know that the physical world is a mirror for the spiritual right that when the torah uses anthro morph anthropomorphism sorry anthropomorphism right um i just got cut off the hedo website the tour uses these these words right because like we say hashem doesn't have a physical hand but it's to teach us a spiritual concept right so my question would be gentlemen what do the hands represent right our physical hands in the spiritual world what do they represent strange or mercy and justice akiba you're in the right direction but i think you're thinking too kabbalistically let's come down a little bit my friend hands hands are necessary for doing in this world right hands are my vehicle for action in this world so my hands very basically represent action right so we have a mitzvah in the morning that the first thing that we do is that we raise our hands that hashem commands us raise your hands i command you to raise your hands so what does that mean it doesn't just mean do this what does it mean in the spiritual realm to elevate your actions it's it's it's similar to the washing that we talked about but it's a little bit different that that that my actions throughout my day should be raised right we talked yesterday matt that every thing in this world like everything that god put in this world is it good or bad is this table good or bad both i would say like well let me let me let me let me make the question more dramatic is um is that is a restaurant good or bad the key word the key word with everything gentlemen is it it depends how you use it how you interact with it remember we talked about yesterday that the things that have the potential for the worst negativity the most ungodly can also be used in the pendulum to be the most godly it depends on how you use it how you act with it how you think how you speak so if the hands represent the actions and i'm telling hashem that i'm raising my actions what does that mean that my day is going to be dedicated to taking the things that you put into this world as essentially parv not good or bad and raising them up using them for what for good a lot more going on gentlemen in the ulna tilasia dying prayer than we thought no here's another kirish where else do we say only diamond now it makes sense why we say it in the morning right it's important to say this to think before we eat a meal to wash your hands before you can even make the prayer for the bread right that this is a preparation before a juice that's down to a meal now like i said i'm not coming here to say this is why melech made it that we have to wash our hands before we eat but maybe one reason based on what we've talked about why specifically seemingly this blessing of online could take place before every action hashem i'm going to work. right that i should elevate this time of going to work i shouldn't i shouldn't waste my time i shouldn't steal from my boss by uh doing things you know a lot of people it's very easy you know or to waste your boss's time right to work in a righteous way right i'm gonna raise up this experience i'm gonna have the right intentions when i when i go to work that i'm not just going to whatever so i have money to go to uh mike's bar right open from fort no um but also to uh right that i'm using this money that i want to make this money so i can support my family so i can put food on my table so my kids can eat healthy so whatever right so why specifically before eating gentlemen so we would never get the black play okay so like i said like i said there's there's super there's many reasons why you know sanitation is good and correct i i would just i would come on you know we got to get a little bit more spiritual can't just say sanitation you know what i mean um because it's uh distinctive from when you do it in the morning that's to wash your hands for all the things that you're going to do for that day okay um but when you eat that's not something that you're going to be doing for others not an action that you're making good for others that's an action that makes them good for yourself so it's distinctive from interesting everything else interesting not bad i would say gentlemen because i don't know about you guys but eating has a very when we pendulum i think is the correct word right there's a big pendulum in eating it can be a very debased activity it can be a very holy activity so maybe someone else wanted to remind every one of us that before you sit down to eat remember that this also should a person a jew should try to elevate right but you should try to elevate this act of eating because eating can be a can be right we all know how we feel when a delicious meal comes our way you know the the aspect of holiness and serving god for most people it just throws out the door and hopefully i can find a fork and hopefully i can say a eight word bronco before the food is stuffed into my mouth you know that's that's usually how many of us approach eating right it's a big struggle it is it is the struggle as you can tell from all of our jewish bellies but anyways the point is the point is like remember like we said yesterday the goal is not to right now to be this incredibly holy eater but just to try to have it enter into my mind hashem you commanded me to raise my actions and eating also i can raise this action up i can eat with the right intentions uh i can eat for the right reasons whatever so that was my point that maybe maybe one of the reasons why i was uh it was metacan why it was established is because eating is one of those events where i can very easily be pulled to the side of lowering the hands if you know what i mean so i remind myself no this also i need to raise up my hands good good okay so that is the baraka that we make over the raising of our hands the washing of our hands um to dedicate our day to serving god and to elevating our actions and not uh and and to not debase them very good let's get into uh a little bit of the lush and the the wording of every single bracha now because i think that that that alone will really uh just to meditate on a few of these things a few of the words of of a of a standard bracha that we make um will help us out we say baruch right we're not going to get into baruch there's a whole thing about baruch what is baruch for now let's just say we're saying baruch hashem is the source of blessing right hashem is the source of blessing now what does that mean gentlemen hashem is the source of blessing what's a blessing a blessing is something that comes from hashem anything that comes from hashem okay what do you say matt it's an active passage that he was upon us okay very good what would it mean if i were to say akiva i want to give you abraham i want to give you a blessing and usually i will then follow it with what theme something that should be increased let me be in greece right so when we say barakah we're telling hashem you are the source of all blessing you are the source of all increase that all increasings in this world come from you whether it be in the physical realm money health children whether it be in the spiritual realm wisdom um wisdom um whatever that hashem is the source for all increase now if i we have a we have uh david meller king david made it to khanna made a uh i don't know how to translate to ghana uh he made him he made a rabbinic mitzvah whatever mitzvah that a jew should make a hundred blessings a day right now if you find if you if a person is dominating it it ends up being not so difficult it's like pretty easy if you if you count the normal amount of breakfast that we say um and especially if you like to eat like myself it's pretty easy you know and a lot of time you're like wow i didn't make enough broccolis today maybe i should have you know another wafer just joking that contradicts a little bit what i was saying before okay um gentlemen so what is the first meditation the first thing i'm contemplating on before i begin a bronco the first words i'm saying is you are the source of blessing how will that change my life if i really think about that a hundred times a day that hashem is the source of all blessing how will my what will change what will change gentlemen be more likely to do what he wants more likely to do what he wants yeah source of all blessing if everything comes from him so i should probably try to please him okay what do you say mad any ideas i say like this gentleman we especially us western-minded folk come from a perspective that if i want something i have to go out and get it 100 myself you know like i have to put in all the effort and and and and right that's a lot of people think correct now we all know hashem doesn't make overt miracles that we have to put in effort in everything we do right that if i want to get money i have to go i have to go try to look for a job right the difference between i think the jewish way of thinking in the non-jewish way of things the non-jewish way of thinking is i have to do it all by myself right the jewish way of thinking is i have to put an effort but really who is the baruch who is the source of all blessing is hashem it all it's all going to happen only if hashem allows it so i would say that if i really inculcate this into my day if i really am thinking about what it means baruch that hashem is a sort of blessing not only am i going to put an effort in everything i do but there's one other variable that i'm going to add you know what that is prayer before i begin any action that i want uh the outcome to be for my benefit i'm going to ask hisham to help me because he is the source of if it's going to work out or not me going to the interview is just me putting in my effort but at the end of the day it's completely up to hashem if he decides to let it happen or not correct so if i begin right just before i make the bracha i'm saying to myself i'm good i'm about to say baroque even when you said baroque you are the source of blessing all increase in this world comes from you if i really believe that my life is going to change drastically like akiba said that i'm going to try to do more to please hashem because i know at the end of the day it all comes from him anyways and two i'm gonna pray more i'm gonna ask hashem more for to help me with the things that i need i'm gonna still put in my effort but also ask as i say the rest of the world believes in one variable needed to get what you want and the jews believe in two maybe more but just just to get the point across we put in an effort but we also ask a sham next how many names gentlemen i know 72 oh gosh akiva already going for the kabbalah man um how many names do we address hashem with in every blessing akiba you just have to count my friend three what are they hashem eloquenu again we are addressing him you know right fine maybe not name we're addressing him i mean the name is more like something that you would be scared to say like where you would say hello kim fine let me you're right you're right semantics you're right let me let me rephrase how how are how many times are we addressing hashem with different things try try try counting one more time is it three or is it four four it's four atta first thing we address him is you first thing i say before all these lofty names that me and akiva could start floating if we talk deeply enough about them but before we even start talking about these names hashem yod kevke eloquenu justice whatever melaka alum the master of the world what's the first way that we address god you you well not hopefully not like that but just like you the same way i talked to my my homies you how you doing you how you doing how are you doing hashem how are you doing hashem eloquent new milk online right interesting do you guys do you guys that make sense to you you like that not like that meaning listen coming from a from a western perspective where we have lost somewhat of the respect and awe that's to be due to anyone at a higher level you know i'm saying like people going in front of the president with their iphones for a nice selfie you know i'm saying like people call their professors by their first names and like invite them to their house for frat parties you know i'm saying like like the the aspect uh that that used to be much more much more known in the world of kind of like an awe for a higher authority has dropped down you know like parents want to be their child's best friend you know they want to be like cool that that that's really the phenomenon of today so so for us to start off addressing hashem as you is like you know we're like okay i kind of get that right because like everyone is you but um from a jewish perspective does this seem the honor that hashem that hashem deserves right of all these high lofty names that we call hashem the first name that we address him with is you the same way i address my friends is that is that like uh is that that is that interesting is that does that perturb you does that is that a difficulty you guys like that what do you think gentlemen gentlemen focus um she's never thought about it it's a good question oh that's that's that is the reason why most people do not have i mean they give you a very close relationship to hashem i'm saying the reason most people don't is because i never thought about it right i say this bronco all the time maybe even a hundred times a day yeah i never thought about it so let's think about it now what's significant about four because i thought three was a more significant number than three and four significant you can ask akiva about it but five is the most important one okay but but all i'm saying is i'm not not dealing with the names i'm not dealing with the numbers i'm just saying we address hashem in names that are very very respectful and lofty but the first thing that we address him with is you the point is gentlemen it's just a little bit interesting to me you know that that um before we we give hashem these names we address them by all these very lofty names we're calling him you and i think that there's something very important to learn from that that that respect is very much due to hashem don't get me wrong and there has to be a level of awe and a level of uh right awe for hashem and respect due to him right that a person should constantly you know realize that he's in the presence of god and his actions should reflect that but maybe what we can learn from having the first way that we address hashem in every blessing as you is that really what one of the goals of this world is a relationship that i'm that god wants to relate to me on a very deep very intimate level right so much to the point that i can address him as you right that that that that we can learn something we can learn that from from every blessing that that even though i address the shame with such lofty names i still dress them as you almost as a as as someone so close to me so already gentlemen i i assume we're not going to meditate on both of these things before we make broccolis but we already have boro that you are the source of all blessing you are the source of all increase in this world and atta that that that that you are close to me so close that like the creator of the world that before i even call him the creator of the world i say you the same way i dress my my fellow friends now don't get me wrong right after i call him you i'm calling him yudke bovke right the being that was is and will be that my brain can't even comprehend we can't even say that name because it's so above our ability to like comprehend it right we can just like like look at the word itself but um so so that's uh maybe a second lesson that we can learn from standard blessings so brukata um we won't get into the names jude kevke hashem sanctified us with his commandments another thing we say often right you sanctified us with your commandments what does that mean to be sanctified gentlemen you sanctified us with your commandments you were makadish us what's that made us holy where do you guys see the word uh kiddush uh kiddishano so you know what what um right there's really a lot there's kadusha right there's kidus oh what is it called when you marry a woman kidushin what's happening when you marry a woman okay a lot of things are going on but from a halal basis what rules are now incumbent upon your your and her relationship that were not there before you gave her the ring or whatever before you gave her that gift you have to be faithful to each other oh right that there's a certain level of faith of you uh uniqueness that you that that you are the only one for her and from your perspective you've taken on an obligation to provide for her that's called caducen gentlemen that she has a obligation to devote herself completely to you and you have an obligation to provide for her so when you look at it like that what's going on in the lower worlds gentlemen what does it mean now we're god's wife right it's not listen it sounds crude it sounds a little bit uh so i heard this from raleigh before okay whenever it refers to he god is he it means that he's giving something you can see from the way men and women were created men give and women take just built in their anatomy structure right yeah so we have uh this relationship with the gym that he has chosen us we are unique to him we dedicate ourselves to him and he provides for us right and you see that that's really what's going on when we are doing mitzvahs right um so it's our way of being devoted to him that's that's why we have so many mitzes against idol worship right avodah zara because it's in a way like cheating like for the wife to cheat right so well i'll tell you one cool thing well um we'll just end on this thank you i think you'll like this so there's a question that uh our sources ask that how does a man marry a woman how does a man marry a woman what's that what's the act that you have to do so the the main act you say hari atma kadesh is you're married to me you are sanctified to me you're unique to me with this tabatsu or it doesn't have to be a ring it can be you know anything that anything anything that gives her pleasure right if she likes an onion ring right i wouldn't suggest giving her that but if whatever if you don't have so much money and she's hungry so why not so um right you you you right you say you give her the gift right so so that's that's a really good question wait a second if if the man if if we're to go with this analogy so but what happens when i do a mitzvah i'm giving to god i do a mitzvah for hashem and that's what marries us so to speak every mitzvah i'm marrying myself to hashem but me as the woman in this analogy and giving to god usually from marriage to work the man has to give to the woman something that she enjoys so if this analogy is correct we're in a little bit of a difficulty no okay it doesn't like it there's still a time when women give back to man in the you know in the helping him complete the myth of um children being fruitful and multiple that's true that's true but i'm just saying in the act of marriage the act that that creates but but oh oh i understand you're saying because that is another act that creates them the merit okay not bad i'll tell you what i heard i i really like this that the gomorrah tells us that there is a very unique way that a men and women can get married and if the man is an important man an adam khashouf right big rabbi whatever so i don't know about you guys but i remember um like if you ever met like a famous person or whatever for you to give them something gives you pleasure right um i'm trying to think of a good analogy for that but i don't know like like if you think yourself think of like a famous person and you're like i made you this this um collage because i love you so much and whatever this famous person says thank you i appreciate it right you see it all the time with you know i don't even want to use examples like this but anyways you hear the point that by the important person accepting your gift it brings your level of happiness so where are we going with this that the same way that a woman can give to an important man a gift and if it gives her a level of happiness to give that gift that actually marries them that marries them because it's in in a way that he gave to her by her giving to him he gave to her he gave her pleasure of her being able to give him a gift so the same with when we do myths that it should give us such a level of pleasure that we a human of flesh and blood get to give something to the king of all kings obviously this takes more contemplation to reach a level of enjoyment but that we get to give something to the king and he accepts it from us that he accepts our mitzvas that's an enormous level of pleasure and that's what marries us so gentlemen this has been journeys through prayer a series given in rabbi gottlieb's absence we'll see you next week you