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Rabbi Yossi Jacobson - Four Messages on Child Sexual Abuse
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Rabbi Yossi Jacobson, world renowned orator, addresses the Monsey community on child sexual abuse. Follow JCW on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JewishCommunityWatch.Org
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I want to share four brief messages to
four different groups of people a
message to abusers or potential
abusers a message to
victims a message to parents Educators
and leaders and a message to
[Music]
activists there was once a rabbi sitting
in burning the middle of the night it
was 3:00 in the
morning the the old STL and the old
cities they had
chimies that would often come into a
study come into a room and every city
had a g there was the thief of the city
who in order to support his family would
break into Jewish homes take what he
needed and go feed his children and then
the next night he would break into
another house one night he had bad masle
and he chose the rabbi's house 3:00 in
the morning he didn't realize the rabbi
sits and learns all night so he slides
down through the chimy which was the
most popular method of the gav and he
lands right in the rabbi study I don't
know how many of you have experimented
sliding down a chimney but he comes into
the rabbi's office beded covered up with
white and
black and he's standing there and the of
sitting over his gamar lifts up his head
and says wow ran what brings you into my
home at 3:00 in the
morning he
says Reb I came to ask a
question wow must be an urgent Shila 3
in the morning the sh what's the
question says
reab the question is how does one get
out of this situation that's the
question thank you thank
you that's actually the answer to thank
you whenever I stand up at such an
event I always ask myself the
question
V how do we crawl out of this situation
like many other colleagues and
friends I was extremely uneducated about
this
topic until as Ellie just
mentioned people started to come to
visit one person after another person
week after week month after month year
after year and a picture began to
unfold about
Spirits shattered
shattered and souls
wounded and smiles wiped
away from innocent
faces and
tonight I want to share four brief
messages to four different groups of
people a message to abusers or potential
abusers a message to
victims a message to parents Educators
and leaders and a message to
activists the message to abusers or
potential
abusers a new era has began has
[Applause]
begun believe it or not this this is not
only a new era and a new do for all of
the potential victims or past victims in
a funny way it is a new dawn and
Redemption for you because how does it
really feel deep down in your heart to
know that through your
behaviors you have snuffed out the soul
of a
child and committed a crime
sometimes akin to
murder how does it really feel for you
to
know that in order to satisfy your
Cravings or your
instincts you're
ready to
murder such a deep and innocent part of
a young boy or a young girl with effects
that may endure for years and may
transform their
life do yourself the biggest favor
and reach out for
help do not degrade yourself do not
transform yourself into a living monster
who will haunt the soul and the life of
another person no more living in the
shadows no more with the deception no
more with hunting down children through
Sly and clever and sometimes very Sly
method
those times
are
over a
message to
victims it is
clear that a new D can be seen on the
horizons the community as well as
individuals are no more deaf to your
cries and to your Silent Cries but what
we want you to know is do not deem your
life as cursed do not Define yourself as
an eternal and essential victim don't
see yourself only through the lenses of
abuse Judaism at its core was the faith
and the tradition that came to the world
to teach human beings that not
withstanding any circumstances that you
have endured throughout your life there
is a core quintessential self that
remains wholesome and confident powerful
and potent sacred and happy Divine and
secure and nobody and that is nobody can
take that away from you forever we know
we understand or we don't how difficult
it may be but don't confuse thoughts of
Darkness with your essential Beauty we
know that those thoughts come back again
and again and again to delegitimize
yourself to tell you how bad you are how
horrible you are how ugly you are how
your life is destined to be a life of
misery and inner Agony and pain you will
never be able to walk around without the
toxicity without the misery without the
pain but today we want you to know that
that too is part of The Voice of abuse
and don't allow those voices victory
over the part of you which is far deeper
and far more infinite and far more
eternal do not allow the darkness which
is ultimately external and superficial
even if it comes with such powerful
messages to triumph over the beautiful
light that shines from your face from
your eyes from your soul as you have
just seen as I have just seen a few
moments
ago the courageous individual who spoke
just a few moments
ago when there it's
[Applause]
fine to parents Educators teachers
leaders
rabbis and all people of
influence the message I think tonight is
this bem thank
God a new awareness has swept through
the Jewish Community Nationwide and
really
worldwide people are becoming more aware
people are becoming more informed people
are becoming more more
educated our role and function is to be
attuned to the needs of those whose
lives have been hurt so deeply to open
up our hearts to open up our souls not
to be judgmental and not to be
dismissive rather to be able to embrace
every aching spirit and to be able to
show them that we will be there for them
and we will be there for them
unconditionally
through thick and thin we believe in
them we love them we embrace them we
will not we will not dismiss them we
will not judge them nor will we not
believe
them there has been a perception that
took root among many and that is that
somehow the world of T the world
of is Fond on covering up these types of
heinous crimes it is our greatest duty
today to eradicate that notion
completely the most essential function
and objective of somebody once asked the
great
bris was one of the greatest leaders of
his time in the early 1900s what is the
primary function of the rabbi and Sal
said bris said to stand up for those who
are oppressed to stand up for
victims who will not have anybody else
stand up for them and that is how he
lived in the that we read on Yer the
holiest day of the year in the morning
yes in chapter 57 of Isaiah quotes hasem
who says you think I need your
fasting you think your fasting is going
to make you desirable
what I need from you is that when you
see somebody who's hungry give them food
how they
prosper and somebody who's naked give
them clothing and somebody who's
oppressed and in Chains and shackles
give them Liberty and give them freedom
and somebody who's suffering and being
abused give
them respite give them peace give them
Tranquility as the prophet goes on then
your light will shine
today we have to stand up and make a
demon demonstrate clearly through our
words and much more through our behavior
that the greatest objective of the
greatest objective
of is not to tolerate innocent people
who are
suffering and to stand up to aggression
to stand up to evil behavior of All
Sorts with unwavering
conviction believing in the unwavering
Dignity of every person created in the
image of God to be able to live a life
true to their soul true to their creator
true to their Essence and true to their
wholesomeness and we are the ones who
have to show the victim that you can
speak up that silence don't think that
you have to take your secrets to the
Grave because ghosts and skeletons
thrive in secrecy they cherish Darkness
they cherish
deception speak up and reach out we will
be here for you through thick and
through thin we will stand up for you
that is our prerogative as human beings
our prerogative as Jews and our greatest
Duty as
responsibility of Jews who are committed
to T whose great objective as Hill said
the whole Is Not to cause somebody pain
that you wouldn't want to be done to and
everything else is a commentary that
means any Al I ever Learn Somehow is a
commentary on how
to love cherish respect and restore the
Dignity of another individual and for
those of us who have made mistakes in
the past as a result of ignorance as a
result of really being clueless let us
not be afraid to have the courage and
stand up and say I made a mistake I
apologize I'm sorry I did not know I
myself your the speaker right here
now did not know for many years at the
last event and at this event again I
express my
apology for the years that I was
completely
uninformed
uneducated and therefore did not always
know how to react what to say let us not
be afraid to speak that truth we're
human we're mortal we're
frail this has been shrouded in so much
secrecy for so many decades so few of us
knew and if I have to say I'm sorry it
is a delight and a privilege to say I'm
sorry because when you're saying I'm sor
sorry for a good reason it makes you
stronger it makes the victim stronger
and it serves Justice and it brings more
light into the world and our primary
objective tonight is to recommit
ourselves to bring light into every soul
into every heart into every child and
when we encounter a child who
encountered in his or her Young Life
Darkness we want to double and triple
the amount of of light the amount of
love the amount of Hope the amount of
Faith the amount of
confidence May every activist always
remember we have one objective and one
objective only and the objective is to
protect young and innocent children and
to make sure their lives are filled with
light never can we allow an agenda of
Darkness an agenda of Revenge an agenda
based on anger to Define our behavior
and dictate our future we in order to be
able to help others must go into the
light within ourselves and find that
point in ourselves that
transcends anger even if it
exists that
transcends
pettiness that transcends any form of
darkness and is completely committed to
one agenda and one agenda only and that
is to bring
to bring happiness to bring positive
energy into the Jewish Community into
Jewish families into Jewish institutions
into Jewish schools into Jewish
homes happiness is the key positivity is
the key light is the
key that is what we want every single
child to have that is the agenda agenda
and the exclusive
agenda heaven
forbid that activism in this area should
in any
way convey
disrespect or
denigration to the respect of to to the
respect
of and to those who carry the flag of to
and CU let's face it the reason why we
are all here sitting here tonight after
thousands of years of savage abuse and
suffering is only because the power
of that made sure that
theim the Divine image and the goodness
in human beings survived all the abuse
that our people has
endured to abandon that or even neglect
that even a bit in our fight for the
safety of our future will undermine our
success in the profoundest sense in the
profoundest way and I want to tell you
something a little vulnerable you know
so many victims as Ellie just said don't
speak up till they're 40 some of them 50
some of them 35 I know people personally
who haven't spoken for 20 years 25 years
15 years they hold it inside they
haven't told us
song but a while ago
a young man in his 30s came sat down at
my dining room table broke down
crying I already
knew I said how old were you he
said8 how old are you now
32 did you ever tell anybody your mother
your father nobody nobody he shared his
secret with the
Devils on promiscuous websites they were
the only ones and that's not the place
where you want to show you
secrets we don't blame them for their
silence we understand a little bit of
the trauma we understand a little bit of
the shame we understand a little bit of
the pain that they experience and for
them to speak is so difficult that's why
parents have to be encouraged to speak
to their children to teach their
children to communicate to their
children to have open Channels with
their children to listen listen to their
children to be sensitive and in tuned to
the inner voice of their
children but we
understand and therefore even though as
a result of their
silence so much
time has been lost but we understand
that trauma causes silence and all we
can do is say henceforth don't wait so
long but even if you did there is still
hope I say to you now isn't it true
isn't it true that so many Educators so
many leaders so many
parents so many
rabbis so many people in
positions of influence prominence and
power have they also not been
dramatized as a result of ignorance
Clueless
fear
misinformation lack of
judgment haven't all of us in one way or
another way not been affected directly
or indirectly even if completely not to
the degree infinitely further remote
from the degree of the
victims tonight is a night when we
together must open a new chapter in
Jewish life it's a night that should be
dedicated to
unwavering
commitment but also a night that is
dedicated to opening a new chapter that
is based on
mature
forgiveness for many of us who have been
misinformed and many of us who in our
own way lacked an education or skills or
knowhow and to be able to say to all of
us
together let's let's
focus on opening a new chapter and
turning a new page in Jewish life we're
together laymen and
leaders activists and rabbis Educators
and
therapists men and women of all
communities all backgrounds and all
walks of
life say
Mas a lot of damage was
done what we want to do now is protect
every child for eternity help every
child who has been damaged never allow
this to occur again and again in our
[Music]
communities without standing up to it
with full Vigor and spirit and let us
remember that God will be with us in our
work when we will be committed
completely to bring liite to bring light
to bring hope to bring dignity into each
of their lives
with which will only be successful if
it's saturated
with
andem and with those three loves we will
flood the Jewish World with a type of
Love That Will transform abuse and hate
and darkness to to a situation where the
innocence and the purity of each of our
children will be able to shine forever
thank you very
much thank you
[Music]