Rabbi Yonatan Rietti: How Does Hashem View My Complaining?

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sheer tonight we have the cover tab with us once again over unison ready senior lecturer gateway seminar discuss topic of I was only fetching how does Hashem view my complaining it's my cover - corn robbery ready for tonight's Russia good evening can you all hear clearly a special thank you to rabbi bolt for inviting me to share with you and I would like to add this presentation is also a learning must my mother allow Shalom Kabira but saw her who's your site is next week and also a special English Mass rifki bus Eliyahu who was sniffing Terrace just last week should be a supposed to then Asami's on main the presentation is entitled I was only catching I was only complaining what's the big deal and how does Hashem view our complaints so I'm gonna start off with a simple Marshall and metaphor parents very wealthy for the birthday of their seventeen year old son something has really been dreaming of for many years he gets an envelope and inside our car keys if they still exist or a an equivalent of of such and he goes outside very excited company but la is this amazing just 10:17 these parents are giving him what he's always wanted a few seconds later he storms back into the house he is so angry they can't believe it what's the matter they bought him a Mercedes what is the matter he said you knew I wanted a Ferrari now here's my question to you pretend you're the parents or close friends of the parents and they're telling you this story they're 17 year old is gifted a modern model of a Mercedes and is a sports model and he comes storming back in complaining he wanted a Ferrari what's your response any suggestions unappreciative ingrate spoiled if you don't want it don't take it question what do the parents owe their seventeen-year-old zero okay what could this be a metaphor for does God Oh me anything he doesn't owe me anything okay so now let's get to the the kvetching where disk fetching really take place where does complaining take place in my pinky my elbow my stomach my kneecap where for those still awake in my head which part of my head in my in my brain in my what is my brain to it thinks oh so batching is actually it starts as a thought is that right is it's really a thought what is anger where's the origin of anger it's also in my mind okay where's the origin of love the midst of a verse of Shem which part of the body am I commanded to love a car Sparkle with Bacall lavaca with all your thoughts that's the tight from rabbi Victor Miller spoke about it before I'm not gonna go into in detail now oh these are mitzvahs of the mind where this fetching take place oh it's a thought how long is a thought how long is the life of a thought it could be a split second or it could be I could think about this for a long time could I analyze this for a long long time oh so the life of a thought is as long as I think it how far am i away from not thinking it and switching to a different thought split-second how far am i away from another thought I'm one thought away question where is the Mitzvah of teshuva take place where's it start what's the origin it's a here horror of teshuva is that right a hero of teshuva is a thought one of the biggest misunderstandings of reality is kvetching it's one of the most fundamental I would even put it like this one of the greatest problems we have in society today is possibly too much thinking I think too much I think the next biggest problem is that I don't think enough meaning I don't think enough about what I should be thinking and I think way too much about what I should not be thinking well what should I be thinking well it's interesting tarted mitzvahs provides for us a list of misses Chautala believed which depend on the mind he'll cos Deus says rabbi Victor Miller means the laws of thinking there are 51 mitzvahs according to say prefer radium that our Tolley belief in mana where does that take place where is the Mitzvah the second one in the iris a certainty price low ye Alec I love him I carry my upon I don't have any other powers in front of my faces where does that take place oh it's my mind Oh interesting loot at aru aha relieved of Kandahar a nation I should not follow my thoughts or whatever my eyes report don't trust everything I think and see where does that take place it's all taking place in my mind in my thoughts and how far away am i from switching that thought make a u-turn change my mind I'm always one thought away so now let's get into kvetching let's try and understand from a cottage Barker's perspective what is what what is his view on clenching so ladies and gentlemen gentlemen ladies wherever you are question where's the first time not in the Torah Zabur Tov but the tersh bellperre on the chair above where do we see the first time that fetching takes place and a sham and how James responds to it before Adam Rishon that's in Perak mo we're gonna get to that where I'm asking actually in Perak Aleph excellent excellent the moon what was the moon's complaint Reuben - Leila a how can one king where two grounds what such gems response you're right so therefore you will be smaller than the Sun before you were same size and what were you you were also a son you're also bright and shining but now you're going to be reduced in size and what else happened lost his light completely so not only did he not get what was behind the question but he was reduced and lost what he was and now is only a reflection ever of the sun's light never shining light of itself interesting watch the pattern where's the next time we see a complaint this time it's the toshiba tov itself our demolition is given the opportunity to do teshuva hashem asks him question are you embarrassed about your being unclothed because you ate from the tree I asked you not to eat from and that was just an invitation for him to have one word catotti I made a mistake that's the meadows of God that we mentioned that Laster I believe if he had said that one word Hashem would have been Michael and would have forgiven him but instead he said ha I shot that woman ashen our tartare Amati that you gifted to stand by me and while she tells us straight away you're using the Matala that i gave you and yeah you're you're getting out of responsibility by blaming me as a good spur I could never say this on Arthur Mauritian cause I'll do Gomorrah in a Vedas are tough hey tells us in this context he was called a calf a tyfa cardfight means cover as in the same lushness clay fair he was a coughing cough a tire and in great I didn't I don't know you anything but I gave you a wife a partner to stand by you to work with you and instead of you being grateful you turn it around and you blame her I'll share me forgiving you her instead of taking responsibility and what's the response of a cutter sparkle in the big picture what happened to Adam Rishon was he reduced he was reduced in size and what else and what what what did he lose out on lifespan instead of living for how long forever oh and the whole of the Bria is redefined mortality comes in to death comes into the world let's fast forward where's the next complaint that you're gonna find in the Torah so it could be if you really are mine you'll find more I'm just jumping to a three word how bad could a three word fetch be so fast-forward chapter 25 and rifki amino is expecting it's been many years of trying and at last she has a she's and during the pregnancy the pain is so great cuz I'll tell us it's also metal to Gerda that she was she was a Navia and she knew that she was going to have 12 shoe bottom she was destined to have all 12 sons through yitzhak Avenue and in three words she said Lama there are no fee for what do I need this those three words cost her what her cars bother said okay you you you are going to complain about your pregnancy in the pain fine I'll take the Zaire which cause I'll tell us his gamut Rhea Zion hey is 12 7 and 5 is 12 the 12 times that you were going to be pregnant this is your first and last you will not have the schwa Tim what was destined was taken away from her a three word vet Ramesh later what what what chance is there for me fast forward Yaakov Aveeno has a six word fetch and for the six words that he said the art there are him high you snake ia ia Shan Shan I know Arthur I am high you any Bali curry here you may snake I I thank you few and bad were the days of the years of my life this was in response to para who asked him is kind of an odd question how old are you now in the school in in the defense of Yaakov vino hems be the RAM bun and of his Cooney and Robina Bhatia all offered the following pair I saw that as soon as Yaakov Inu came to mitzraim what happened to the famine stop the fear of the entire famine terminated and now he was interested in Yaakov Aveeno staying in which rhyme when Yaakov Eno arrives at the palace and he looks at the young Covina's face he sees such an old ancient frail human being he is shocked and he becomes a meat concerned oh my gosh how old how much long have you got and yeah Covino only said six words don't worry I'm really meant I'm younger than I look and I've got some more life to go I believe but but my art varaha you you may snake I I my Dave's have been few and bad those are the days of the life of my life so correspond says and this is he brings the Madras Yaakov II know I don't understand I saved you from lovin you were there for over 20 years then when you leave LaVon and return to Eretz Kanaan I save you from your brother Asaph who hates you forever and then in sham your daughter is taken and abused but I returned her to you and then you lost your favorite son Yosef I returned him to you after over two decades and then when you asked how old you are you say my art the Ryan says a cottage bahu I'm gonna count every single one of those letters in the six words they add up to 20 letters I'm gonna add on the NACA dicen the 13 the kudos the 20 letters in the 13 kudos adds up to 33 and for each one of those items I'm taking off one year of your life is a six word fetched worth it yes or no let's fast forward just trying to get a context here of where the turret defines Hashem attitude so to speak a vehicle to my complaining Hashem owes me period so we've looked at some individual kvetching let's fast-forward to the National fetching where's the first national vet of cloudy Slavic mullets lon we just came out of mitts rhyme we witnessed 12 - 10 - 10 plagues and it's and the splitting of the sea and we were only three days from all the miracles of the observe and we are starting to get tired but more than anything thirsty water water we need water that is a legitimate request yes or no absolutely so what was the Tyner that hashem had for their quenching so comes along the pastor can tells us by Allah knew ha I'm sorry by Gil I knew Haram al Masha the nation complained against Masha be no lamer Molly stay what should we drink what was the Tyner what what was wrong with that says Rashi quoting the miqo'te hashem saw rod kashi arpan what's kashi our pond if I don't want to have a communication with you what do i what do I do to show you that I'm not guy with you just turn my head stiff-necked I'm not listening like he loo you're not there it's it's a very it's a it's in England you would say it's rude it's not polite it's hutzpah dick says Rashi quoting me Jota shallow NIM little burmecia pollution affair they didn't ask Masha Rubino they didn't take counts with Masha Pinot with a beautiful russian and what would that lotion be says the Merkel Tabaka Charlie no request for us rock mm she Alana - noice there was nothing wrong in the actual content of the request water we need only for that water the new Sian which Russia quotes the past and that possibly shanlee sorrow there hashem tested them to see how they would ask would it be blushing yeah fair would it be mughelli where's the water value line noon they were complaining complaints don't work as a form of communication but even before you get there complaining is a misunderstanding of reality reality hashem owes me nothing everything I have is a pure gift and therefore complaining almost really never has a context where it's justified the way Russia is explaining based on the mistletoe what's missing here is lush and Yaffa Oscar curse beaucoup for raka meme that we should have my English toys there's nothing wrong with that but asked nicely ladies gentlemen we're living in a generation of goods / yes care that is a reality does that part of me does that accept me as a father or a grandparent or an uncle or a teacher from asking nicely to our children the answer is no why there's one word missing in your request oh please is please really such a problem what is the problem when please is missing it yeah it's not I owe you nothing you're my child and please is all the difference because it switches it from Maggie Lee and of complaint ke Liu you owe me or this is supposed to come to me I'm supposed to have this it switches it in one moment from a complaint to a Picasa below Shunyata that's all it is it's such a simple switch and how far am i if a complaint is a thought that comes out my mouth or in my body language how far am i from switching to the next thought and the answer is I'm always ever one thought away from what I'm thinking now and so no matter what I'm stuck my anger my frustration with the traffic with the kids in this classroom I just can't take it anymore or my coworker or its my wife or its my husband whoever it is that I'm frustrated or angry with I'm only ever one thought away from switching from the complaint to lotion Yaffa a beautiful language of picasa or silence or ignoring the insult let's let's go to fetch number two national fetch number two they got the water yeah but there's a price for it unfortunately there's a buildup what we're gonna see there's a buildup where eventually it comes to the last fetch and all comes everything comes come crumbling down on us and we're still paying the price from that last question there's a there's an accumulation so number two national Kretsch number two was auto we've run out of mud sir now wasn't exactly my guess it was we've run out of no we ran out of the mud sir now what's gonna be you know the mats are lasted from when we left mitzraim till now so approximately 30 days what's gonna be ran out of mud so you never heard that on a piece of program but you can imagine if it ever happened what we gonna wait and this isn't the previous fetch was in Perak test valve this is still in tests this is now until science or only one pericle way this is you're watching I'm not saying the Parekh is always is chronologically in sequence timewise but over here happens to be fairly accurate we're going from one fetch to the other and somehow a rather watch the pattern where we're not learning the lesson even though I Shem is giving us the water and is giving us food it doesn't mean that we are missing out on a huge opportunity to turn the ketch around into a picasa whether it's a filler which we'll look at in a few moments or whether it's been out on the Kaveri instead of it being a complaint let me ask what can we do to make this right what can we what can we do what can I do to improve can I do to improve the relationship whether it's this marriage whether it's my child or my my boss or my my career so by you learn your color display allows moisture Aharon Bamidbar now the whole nation is complaining against Moshe banal and iron in the mid bar and a crossbow and the opossum says tells us me attaining with me attend mitaina booyakasha embarrassments volume we're run out of matzah if only we had died in Mitzrayim pre-shift a no else in her bas aware we had a plate of meat buckling eleven LeSabre and we were eating bread to satisfaction he'd say to my son oh you instead took us out of mitzrayim el amid bars air to this desert l'homme s-- asacol alcohol as a pariah to kill us all with hunger what does that sound like to you lotion picasa bellossom yah fair or is this a very this is a national fetch anakata sparkle why does he let us go three days without water that's a long time why is he go why do you let the matzah run out why so the pasa tells us LeMond and I say no hey yella betray Rossi in light I'm doing this as a test to see will you go in my Torah what is my Torah how will I respond to the new Zion will it be Rueben asylum I'm making a Picasa I need Rock coming from you I'm missing out on the life force be it actual water as a life force actual food / NASA or be it something of much greater value help Mirabella to have a healthy mind a healthy mindset in this marriage a healthy thought in my relationship to this difficult child to the pressure of my / NASA instead of it being a crach Hashem is asking me the reason I'm holding you back the water turned up and and the let him is LeMond in our say no in order that I will test it the nation hey yeh let's Bhutto Rossi in life will they go in the way of my Tara and Mona have I demonstrated enough Emunah says a college bar who in the last ten Marcus were you impressed by splitting of the sea were you impressed by the final total drowning of the Egyptian army the last thirty years did you have to what to drink last thirty days sorry what did you have what to eat oh yeah the matzah lasted till now Oh successor gotta Sparkle have I got a track record of taking care of you did I keep my promise to uh from Avena when I told him yeah at eight are you shall surely know you care bazaars are echo your child will be pirates Lola him Arbor mice Donna and yet Huck was born on the 15th of Nisan in the year 2048 and count four hundred years later and it comes out test pavni son two four four eight and one event took place on that day you'd see out mitzraim so sister corresponded I keep my promise to the century to the year to the month to the day yes how cabina was born at the huts I saw him that's when the Malakand made a certain a scratch on the wall and told sorry may know when the Sun hits this line next year at midday you will be with a child and the attack ravine was born at cut say sorry I'm and cloudy so I went out from its yacht miss Rhine but it's a my Yama's air yeah it suits my coachman a drama miss Ryan did I keep my promise to the were so if you're missing out for a few hours of water or bread hold out I'm not I'm not here to starve you or to make you lose out on anything I will always take care of you I'm only inviting you to ask me belushin your fear with Rock'em in let's move forward fetch number three national threat 300 let's complain about water again where one parrot later Perik you design a very very painful Perik post base but ye are ever armed in my share the the the nation now started up argued with moshe be no volume rule and they said to new lana maíam give us water i they just I just don't get it why can I say please blushing affair via email ahem my share now what's Marshall banners immediate response Mart are even in Monty why are you starting a guns a sex talk with me Martin arson is a shame what are you starting up with a sham for and this is really this is Masha Boehner giving us muscle right between the eyes when I'm complaining who is the real target of my complaint Here I am a from Joe and I subscribe to the claim a call bday should mine cuts the only thing that I I agree is not in my hands is what I think will I include you revenge line I'm in my year at some I'm in my choices which is gonna take place in the next thought so comes along the terror and Masha Boehner wants me to understand that when I'm complaining to my show Boehner unfortunately what am I really saying what am I really saying when I'm complaining what am I really saying when I complain about my wife my husband my children my partner sir what am I really complaining about I'm really complained to the bench Leyla um you know what promotion let me help you with this if you would consult with me let me explain how I think you should be running my life but that's that's not reality complaining is a misunderstanding of reality Hashem is only good I don't see it well that's because he's asking me to switch from complaining to a different thought which is one thought away a book bellossom Yaffa it's not more complicated than that and yet the torah is recording very clearly the ramifications of my coaching because one verse later one parsec later hey via via Malik the Elohim amuse rubber freedom comes along a Malik and wages war against us in Rafi team we just came out of mitzrayim so we see an immediate correlation between my complaining because I correspond who are you with us or not and the shams answer is you mean to say that unless I constantly split the sea and do Makkah is right in front of your face you're not going to trust that I'm gonna take care of you did we learn the lesson let's move to fetch number four this is not a kitchen castle Shalom has this problem we're just trying to we're just trying to create the context of what retching is really about and when we recognize a clich is a thought my complaint is a thought my anger is really a thought in the moment my sinner is a thought in the moment Latisse Nikita FISA bill Varvara says rabbi Victor Miller of blessed memory don't hate your brother in your thoughts we have a massive misunderstanding that my feeling of anger and my feeling of sinner which can be very real and very deep and very intense is a feeling and that's a misunderstanding because the feeling we call sinner is actually thought 100 percent of my life and since it's a thought how far am i away from the next thought one thought away Latisse night Africa bill Rebecca means as soon as I catch myself thinking now about you Hashem is asking me please do kisara para q tests pass up your sign I believe in partial sedation Lord is not a feasible var vaca please do cos are at least once a year maybe even a little bit more once in a while - Naima Connecticut argument by the time we hit muchness you've already finished on up a few times and time to get to Kumar you know this bus it back and forth so says a car Sparkle please as soon as you catch yourself out thinking negative about other people go to the next thought or ignore the sinner because it's not reality is this making sense let me share with you how powerful this really is the next parsec in the Torah we're spilling Pasha's Kadosh iam I'm just getting giving you a quick synopsis of why why we're making a big deal out of understanding how a Kurdish Brock who looks at complaining because complaining is really digs is exactly synonymous with my teach amra loshon hora sinner skin um malika's there is almost literally no difference because every single one of those is really a thought in my mind about why I don't agree with you that's not a problem the question becomes how am I going to disagree with you with or without respect with without name-calling with or without comparisons you're just like your mother and I start beating you up verbally so what's that got to do with what we're talking and I get angry and stop putting your mother down and putting you in the same categories my perception of who your mother is and all of a sudden I've brought her in and you are now going to pull out your list of my weaknesses and crimes and mistakes and inconsistencies and you might even have a lot better memory than I do for your mistakes you might have a lot better memory about my mistakes than I do of yours and now it's all spiraling down and comes along coach Barker wants me to know I'm always only one thought away from changing how I feel because my feelings are not caused by circumstance or people they are thoughts in the moment of what I'm thinking about that person I can blame you and say you triggered me off you make me mad but let me ask you honestly has anyone actually gone inside your brain and pressed the mad button ever has anyone actually crawled inside and goes goes and touches my anger button frustrating but there the traffic drives me crazy it's a trap it's not the traffic that's driving me crazy it's what I'm thinking about the traffic that's driving me crazy because have you ever been in traffic but you are enjoying the company of the person sitting next to you and it's very stimulating and you don't notice the time go by have you ever been in a traffic jam we are actually happy that it's taking longer because you're enjoying this conversation with this person it might be even on the phone yes or no so is it the traffic that's making me mad or is it what I'm thinking that's driving me crazy and one of the biggest problems I think we're experiencing in this generation is too much thinking and that creates such a big nasai inform me because I think so much about the marriage the children my teenagers my career my health my finances my boss my co-worker my mother and my father my brother my sister and the more I think and think and think and think and comes on kakaako and tells me Latika that's a very very deep very new comer is very deep loyalty coin wow that's a heavy one the Lottie tire debonair Mecca and don't hold a grudge don't take revenge Lotito Rashi tells us the Manu medaka gimel tells us all about the myths of natira natira is when I'm in English we say coal or holding a grudge natira is loss and shmear says rocky i'm Shimer I'm guarding what you did wrong to me I'm remembering it I'm keeping it filed in my memory and I'll bring it forth and claims the Torah I want you to be in control of number one the kama number two natira don't remember other people's faults whoa that's heavy laughter I have to speak to my therapist about that one oh my gosh really I'm not supposed to be bringing back into my the front of my mind all the stuff that people have said and done to me ladies and gentlemen what are the next words in the Torah st. pisaq there half-dollar love your neighbors yourself love people like you love you what but what's the obvious question over here if you were standing next to my shabby nose a college bar was dictating this pulse of imperative Zion purpose a pair of your tests passes up your design in persecutes s in participation might you say a bunch of them please please please me in welcoming for suggestion it's just my humble suggestion I'm having a hard time within the Karma and natira so could you put those two somewhere the beginning of braces and then put half the red car my car summer at the end of the forum and give me some space to recover how do you put the comma natira don't go there and then immediately switch how can you do that and the patient's answer is very simple really you have a fundamental misunderstanding of reality you think that the nakama you experience against those who really hurt you badly is something that you're experiencing now for guess what that person hurt you in your perception yesterday where the yesterday is years ago or decades ago and you would love the opportunity to get back get them and then I'm telling you Lotito and your mistakenly thinking that that's also a feeling of I can't wait I will no you cannot borrow my mower or no materias yeah you can borrow mine our mower because I'm not like you who wouldn't mend your ladder so I'm clearly remembering and holding a grudge against you for it says the cutter sparkle rieta you misunderstood me you think that those are feelings that are deep-rooted but guess what nakooma takes place where in my thought and the terror takes place where it's a thought so how far am i away from the next thought and the answer is am one thought away so says the card Sparkle I'm trying to help you understand that I'm talking about your mind and so I can actually ask you to switch from the kommentera and go straight into their half direct America and you know what the proof that it says acara Sparkle read the last two words because I'm signing off over here Annie Hashem guess who designed your mind who created you I did say circus bunghole so I can tell you you can go from the Karma to natira and jump into other see-through because it's only one thought away if a rush Adama we mentioned this last year who everybody joking ark itself labels as a Russia gamma and you're standing and you witness this Russia gamma give a proto-tool an issue and tell her a hurry up make udacious Lee Alma nos sure Annie Sadiq and giving a shots office gear sir Santa come more makuu - you saw a nameko - yes is it a valid marriage yes or no he says I married you on condition I'm a completely righteous individual yeah Mako - yes why Suffolk scheme' here or to shoo verbally by because perhaps he had a thought of teshuva in his mind Simon Lamech s safe Lum at Olive Vanessa it's it's a halakha Gomorrah in silken aura because a college bar whose reality is that my mind can change how long does it take to change one thought how long's one thought one split second so the context here is that complaining is really a thought loshon hora is rooted in a complaint because why am i single gives you if not that I'm complaining about who you are or your behavior what you said matzah shamera is a complaint I nursed varam is a complaint Scylla is a complaint once we understand that almost literally every single meter divert why aren't you as smart as me why aren't why don't you look like why don't you have a family really like me everything if it's a gift so I'm not even old what I have and now I'm giving myself credit and what's wrong with you that's a complaint complaining cough we tithe is the exact opposite of head said alam ii bagna cauda Sparkle built this world to be a world of kindness of giving and complaining is the exact opposite because it's saying I don't have what I should have we're not just do my water and bread but whatever it is that I'm complaining about that I'm not as smart as you or intelligent or as good-looking or as a beautiful family or financial resources or such a large home or a cool car whatever it is I Drive your minor I'm your learning I don't have you your e'en your your pill per whatever it is I'm jealous love jealousy is in my mind it's a thought and a car Sparkle is giving us a vote of confidence by telling me light eater don't bear a grudge Lloyd T calm down take revenge he's give me a photo conference Lloyd a to rate of a scam don't trust what you think unless you're thinking what I'm telling you to think are you paying down the cops cause yeah I told you to be balanced Oscar's that's a thought that takes place in my mind my entire life is constantly and completely and only experienced over here so actually we live inside out we don't live outside in when I fall into the trap of elam ha Damien this world which is an illusion and the illusion is I think that the world is affecting me how come you've got a beautiful family and I don't remember why why is that yeah yeah promotion why is that how come I worked so hard to learn I don't understand it this buzz like it's like genius I wish I had his brains why don't I have his brains it goes on Iife whoa Sadiq Tom Yasha and no once what he went through but it reached a point where he the only thing he said rubella is it possible that when you created the universe you mixed up the word IEF which means enemy with my name yes and now I'm I'm your enemy this is a fundamental misunderstanding of reality you know why because I created the universe with 22 osseous do you understand how many factors go into enabling life to exist on planet Earth all the laws of physics gravitational pull between the Earth and the Sun the exact gravitational pull between the Sun and the moon to enable there to be the oceans to redistribute the water through the waves do you do you understand what it means for the Sun to be 93 million miles away in the exact position that we are to enable the heat to reach planet Earth so we don't overheat or be under heated do you do you understand how many factors I've created to enable you to have oxygen and water in plenty and I created the entire universe and planet Earth and all your needs with 22i seus do you understand what would what calamity would have come about and I mixed up a yurt in a different word sir gosh mom who's saying Yacouba vino I don't get you what's going on over here Yakov is busy mourning his son Joseph Yehuda is busy in a whole scandal with tamo Reuben is busy mourning because he messed with his father's bent and Yosef his mourning is its departed from his father and the maid was asked what's a college bar who busy doing well yeah coveno is mourning Yosef a college bar who is busy preparing yet she admits Ryan the Gullah while yahudah is in a scandal with Tamar Hashem is busy preparing Messiah and Here I am complaining rabbinical eylem why did you take this person from me my favorite son why did you do this to my daughter what and it goes on and on and on and on and says Hashem fetching is simply not reality and he wants me to train over a lifetime in recognizing that fetching is a thought and because it's a thought you and I only ever live one thought at a time try it try having more than one thought in any one moment it's impossible you can't even live in yesterday because it happened already I could reconstruct yesterday by taking a memory from yesterday's history and place it in front of me oh my gosh that's traumatic oh my gosh that reminds me that how I hate this person who drives me and what ends up happening is whatever went through yesterday exist now unless I recreate it in thought is this making sense that's why the word Avera is lost over its history it happened already and I said wants me to notice uber is real how long does it take to do teshuva I'm one thought away one second away and if I fall after I did teshuva how far away am i from doing the shoe for a second time a third time and one thought away never more than one thought away from turning a ketch into gratitude a picasa for Rock'em in a reminder that that's not what I was put in this world for fetch number four we complain about food again were sick and tired of the Munn what does Hashem do sends us than the caution thousands of Jews perish we're still somehow not getting it with we don't even see the meter connect admit er that for my mouth complaining just like the nah hush complained in the fact that he wanted cover and get cover away from Adam meaning he wasn't happy with who he was and what Hashem gifted him and so what he was he lost he lost the status of almost being a Ababa hero he lost the status of having legs to be mobile and the one he wanted Hashem said nosh him especially will hate you and despondent speak will hate you potaka Lee's a sinner fletching never works we complained about the lesser Malik oh hell one thing I gave you one it tastes anything you want any texture any taste and now you're telling me you're sick of it so let me send you what you've created and now come out the Nakash 'i'm and they start with these serpents poison that I can't recover from and I don't get it because the biggest complaint comes with the Marah glim you gotta be joking you gotta be joking I've taken care of you in the mid bar I spoke to you at haseen I I took care of your enemies and and now out of the out of these miraculin you actually believe that I'm gonna bring you to a land I promised you would be a land flowing with goats Milken and the honey of dates and and and you believe they're lush and horror against my gift to you okay you're crying tears spoken um I'll give you reason to cry and now that date is reserved for payback by solution by Shanee Inquisition Crusades etc etc and what was the head of Marat glim yes loshon Hara what's the problem with Russian horror it's a complaint against God that's the problem how far in my way from closing my mouth and one thought away from switching the conversation I'm one thought away from saying I don't want to go here it doesn't pay it never pays my business is to live inside out that means I'm not here to change anybody it just never works and our greatest personalities live that way sorry me know it's amazing value Calle Sirach nay mayor Shawn invest astronomers chefs are named snake is ARA and Rashi quoting meds robber pounces on the irregularity of the park how do you how do you say of sorry may know that how this is the the days of her life and then you Tommy is 120 and seven years these are the years of the days luckily you just told me the beginning of boss that you're talking about our life so Rashi quotes the marriage that says to tell it makes no difference where you look in her life it was all equally : shoving Latifah Roubini shillelagh Kazama the mouthpiece of MS of reality kidnapped twice as Latifah she went through the same raw of famine as opera Medina when they arrived in Eretz canal she was barren 90 years this month oh no oh no and again this month this month this month this goes on for years decades decades decades she's finally ninety years old which has a child she's bearing with 90 years and you tell me coolant shoving the taper sorry Manu how could you say that and you know what her answer is stop looking at the world outside in you're looking at what happened to me but if you ask me what was happening inside of me what was I saying about what's happening to me coolin shoving the Tiber I grew by asking her coach Barca for more a from him even the time says the Hindoo share rim that she laughed remember when she laughed when she was told she's gonna have a child sorry I'll translate myself she left do you remember when she laughed okay now you've got it so comes along the kid to share rim and how is it that when she's accused of laughing why did you laugh Sara and she what was her answer let's have the I don't laugh whoa what one second one second the Torah is May it testifies you laughed so then how can you in the next pulse ox deny when you asked why did you laugh you say I didn't love we just wrote down that you laughed how do you get away with that says the key to share rim she was so aware of her thoughts she caught herself in a second and hopped why am i laughing all my life I'd be praying for this moment and then when she's accused of love ease up oh I didn't love oh that's the old sir that's not the real person that's yesterday I'm one thought late already claims I couldn't share him that's the Rambam that was if I do teshuva I'm supposed to look at myself as though I'm a different person and he says that's the meaning of shinnou shame I should change my name is it's not literally but I should look as oh that's that's the old Sarah she was so aware of her thoughts : shoving Latifah was her reality Darvin Amala suffered more than EF e Oh suffer the most in a 12-year compressed period of time but nobody say cuz I'll suffered more than Tavenner mouth over a lifetime and yet he was capable of coming back to the same Savita Shem linetti tummies I do let him really you're grateful why guitar because it sounds good how good oh when I start counting how good let Ellen cast a its unending unlimited and he was capable of going through a child who would assert his authority I've done yo of solemn rebelling against him a father-in-law who only tried to assassinate him several times he's on far his own father and brothers who were concerned that everything he was a Suffolk a monster or whether he suffered so much all around but who was he inside what was going on inside he lived life inside out that's reality how Cole predation mind puts me right you're I'm this is homeless there's only a relationship with ourselves and a car Sparkle through the power of thought cuz I'll tell us expecting his nettle never works inshallah mites even tighter if complaints riff six dog conflict never will Shalom come from that and complaining is a massive source of causing a rift causing riff causing conflict and I'm I should never get down on myself no matter how many times I've fallen into fetching because Hashem says they have to recognize only one thought away from natira and the Karma and that's only one pasta after Lotus nights are hazel bill Rebecca and in the next pasta love your neighbor as yourself he put them next to each other because it's possible to go from sinner to Arva in one thought in one moment that's the power of bashira of choosing a different me I'm letting go of the fetching I'm letting go of the sinner and when I do fall when not if when I do fall start again the next thought there's much to be said on this I'll close on the following and the Zion gentlemen ladies gentlemen I'm assuming there's nobody in this room who has us in this soil when they wake up in the morning to put on tefillin am i accurate do you know why you don't have Anna Sian to put on tefillin because you don't think about not putting them on you probably do not have an assign about not eating something that's not kosher because you don't think about eating something that's not kosher do you know where we do experience in a Sian when we think about how hard then the Sian is and it becomes Anna Sian please do muzzle me for using this as an here's is - Owen a cash bar would never give us and the sign that's heavier than we can carry it's always perfectly measured in every sense to the family members to our physical ability our stress level everything but you know we're then a sign starts to get really hard where rebola why are you doing this to me I don't quite understand you know life is always that fair to me you know what I'm finding I'm really starting to really feel stressed guess what's pressing guess what's the problem then the science is not the problem it's the overweight thinking thank you um I'm adding on more than than the Sawyer and then I blaming the best alarm how do we know this is a mess who's the person who injected in all of us their DNA so we could be a Medina Sian avraham avinu yeah it is really a shame but of Rama V no miss Nasser Basara miss Uranus the armored the Coulomb what is why she tell us there look at the Rashi fascinating Parekh hey machine agimo Tokyo voice she lo hear me die stop so I kind of sparkle he didn't think that's the harp I Ravi knew had how many days unless Luca to go from where he was to Cara Maria which he didn't know where he was going yet how many days three days to think about the Savoy what was he commanded to do what did he think he was commanded to do checked his son what was he telling everybody for the last hundred years that there's one Ruben alum who's so loving he doesn't need you to prove your loyalty by sacrificing children what do you think he's going to think for three days it's three days a long time to think when you're walking at the pace of a camel that's a long time and how it was he I made Ben a Sian chaleur here ara he didn't think it doesn't mean the thoughts didn't parachute into his mind but here's where Bagheera works you don't always choose the thought that parachutes in your mind but you do get to choose the next thought and so he didn't analyze it yeah that's interesting yeah why do this to me I can't believe it but I've been doing 400 years to me everybody and I'm gonna check my son my only son one I'd love it ISM for my wife's our we've worked this out he promised me whole Nations the law he had he didn't think about not putting on tefillin don't think about not keeping Shabbos Oh hot solid is an emergency there's nothing to think about he's my whole Shabbos is a mitzvah to save life when something's clear I don't have to think and analyze and analyze and pull the past into the present and suffer the trauma I went through I go into more detail more detail with otherwise have analyzed and water the weeds water the weeds water the weeds we're all healthy because we're only ever one thought away from health healthy thinking one thought away from letting go of sinner one thought away from letting go of keener one thought away from letting go of kechi about myself about the world about politics about the community about my friends about my family and the moment we stop thinking we leave room for God's Buraku to send us the next thought of Manuka of comfort of his look I close I want to share in closing I poet I've gone over three three three minutes that I recent recently read a book called the exquisite mind by a Terry and Brian Reuben Rubenstein I had a profound effect on me and she's a from ballast chuva in London met them recently they came to New York to do a training and it's based on something that people call three principles it's a movement that's growing but the concept that they're talking about is what I've been speaking about to tonight is the power of recognizing that you only ever exist one thought at a time and that by recognizing that as reality is not an intellectual recognition it's an experiential recognition the moment it becomes clear that we experience life one thought at a time we are liberated to choose the next thought but Cowles man it's my wife and my mother-in-law and father-in-law and it's my brother and my sister and it's my parents the way they raised me the choices they made and whoever it is I complain and blame and accuse and deny it's my fault give it to you why so everyone else's fault I'm avoiding thinking how can I change me because everything only really exists in how I'm thinking life exists inside out so I wanted to tell you that one of her tummy dogs Toby waltzer through Feltham I believe wrote a book called us from the storm to serenity but she talks about how this changed her going from deep depression after having two extremely autistic children and losing both her parents within a few months of each other who she was deeply and close to as she fell into a depression where the only only therapy that was recommended was ECT which is a type of electric electrocution of the mind of the brain which by the way only has one major downside which is the possibility of permanent memory loss but other than that it's it can be very effective you have to be super desperate to have your brain electrocuted and she got a phone call from mrs. dworski represent Erskine Milwaukee whose father whose husband runs a center called the twisty Wellness Center based on the same concept that my mind is really everything and a college bar code that Salem no kim planted in us gives us the innate ability to recognize reality is always inside out so I wanted to mention those books are excellent and ride the wave by Aviva Burnett and there's a rabbi on of Harris in Passaic who helps people who have all sorts of different problems understand these principles of how the mind truly works and these are people who I want I just I'm not getting paid for the advertisement but just know that we're always one thought away from a new me and then I fall a thousand times I'm still only one thought away from changing in the schools of that we will observe it too much Simkin our lives our main shame you can sure tell my sis bus and I feel a big gesture careful and turbo ready for tonight's Russia inspiring draw and thoughtful Russia her voice said the thought that you should be thinking right now is about which she are you're gonna sponsor from the remaining sheer American Sheree Tara and which Rob you're going to thank and you add in the journal for the upcoming dinner of arrogant Sheree terror on August 15th call area she retired seven one eight eight five one eight six five one or email tape center at yeshiva net.com to have this great up a tornado so of what sister to robbing CDs of tonight she will be available shortly Chicago everyone for coming or can dine even Akash a motorcycle just vocalist Aki sister Sophia Haven I'm time it's ocean M Allah knows officer months ago yard alter the other [Music]