The MAIN reason you FAIL.

[Music] Shelvin welcome to practical spirituality here at Asia tour in the old city of jerusalem overlooking the western wall you know our relationship to breaks is you know like brakes on a bike or brakes in a car our relation to brakes is is bittersweet I'd like to talk about the bitter part and in the sweet part the bitter part with brakes is that we all secretly press them without anyone knowing you know we all secretly press them without doing like for example I'm this lady in the back would you like to tell us about yourself a little bit good for you that so means I chose exactly the wrong person she's like I'm rifki what else you want to know you know but normally it'd just be like no no I don't actually like they say the greatest fears is death followed by public speaking but when you give them an actual survey somehow public speaking gets rated higher than death which means if someone asks you to public speak you're like just kill me yeah that'd be easier and so and so we hit the brake I was good I was trying to give an example of a brakes being hit but she was just like okay here I go are you from California or something you are have all the people who like anyone else here from California the what Oh - I that really yeah and would you possibly told us about yourself you and then would you know and she was like let's go and I'm from California my goodness like I tell all both chuckle a bit you know this whole time I've been feeling like something's wrong and I finally discovered what it is wearing earplugs you noticed the beauty of having paste is no one sees that you're wearing ear pods and the bummer wearing pious is that no one sees you wearing earbuds because they just come walking right up to you and say like so what's up here you right now playing really loud music so breaks we hit the breaks in all kinds of secret ways in our lives meaning you when you're driving a car your right foot does gas and brakes they train you that way because kids don't realize they see two pedals anything other that must be the right for that must be the left foot but it's not the case because in an emergency if you were to freeze and press both your car would keep going because the engines more powerful than the brakes so they train you to only use your right foot so that when the instinct of emergencies hit you'll use your gas foot for the brake instead of hit them both but what humans do in their lives and you've been doing this as well as you've been with no one looking pretending like you're doing your best I'm drug you're drug world right you take your left foot and you put it over the brakes and you press it lightly just to make sure you don't get embarrassed or you don't fail or you don't get controlled by somebody or you know you know you're always hitting the brakes and that's why some of you are alone today you know because you've been protecting from given over too much of yourself to somebody and so you end up alone we spoke about that yesterday in class and about trust so we have the brakes on way before necessary because if you actually did the math of how many people are actually dangerous for you because I think we watched too much news I just heard a stat yesterday that that that places like New York City for example are the safest they've ever been I mean in like like it's just been like a forty year increase of safer and safer and say for an obviously when that guy Giuliani got in there I was like it was like the Old West you know it was like the cops were just shooting and asking questions later and so many people got killed a friend of mine got killed for nothing and a city guy was just shot dead for nothing and some and that didn't make any well that made riots in the Hasidic community but that's normal and they but there was even a lady got shot in her car she was just sleeping in her car and she like they were trying to wake her up and I guess she reached over for fun or what I don't know what she didn't know where she was she was asleep a lot of people sleeping in their cars in New York and she got whatever was crazy so why many time people getting shot in New York right now again Oh any New York's got really really safe really really safe but the news has doubled down or tripled down or quadrupled down on stories of violence making everyone feel unsafe and the safest times ever we're living in the safest of times we're living at a time where you can really let your guard down but then there's another story of some other you know some other assault and there we go again closing off and so it gets to the point where you've lost your own ability to distinguish safe from unsafe no sama bin Laden and radical Islam hasn't been very helpful either I'll never forget the first flight I took after 9/11 when I was I was in LA it was the second flight cuz Israel always had security down we don't need to strip-search people and the but I was leaving La and yeah I was there I'm like full rabbinic garb the lady behind me was this like most beautiful like African with like the full headdress and she just looked like you know like the just the purest holiest lady you've ever seen and we're both you know I don't know if anyone remembers you remember flying after 9/11 what it was like you know that what was it called the it's still called the F TSA TSA is those security people that everything they were just starting they don't know what to do remember they looked through everything it was these giant lines and they had they had to look through your entire bag they would it was crazy I mean you had all your stuff out and every single passenger he had to show up four or five hours before the flight because they were gonna look through everyone's bag while you stand there you know and so this lady and I looked at each other and we looked at the person behind the counter the person who was now going after me and I looked at the lady and I said you know one of the biggest casualties of 9/11 was trust in before 9/11 you can you imagine this you flew without ID you had a plane ticket was before the digital age you just had a plane ticket do you know many different names as a surfer everybody we got a cell fellow surfer here from California this is my buddy Ross yeah so you know many times sorry I used your name are you like wanted somewhere here's a couple of times over the years where I turn the camera on the crowd and like some guy just dives to the floor he later comes up to me it was like that was close so anyway the is as a surfer you know how many names I've flown under you know just for example surfing Hawaii every winter we would we would buy very cheap tickets off Pearl Harbor military servicemen who were just making an extra buck by by I mean it was probably legal but they were working the ticket industry getting getting uh getting army priced flights you know building it up another hundred bucks and selling it to surfers because there's a giant at every winter break there's this giant flow of surfers to the North Shore of Oahu and Kauai and Maui and and so I've flown in like my name was like you know we Chong or something you know and no ID necessary you just come on with your ticket cuz you're trusted so and so we hit our brakes a lot in relationships we hit our brakes a lot in business you know we we we have our hands tied behind our own back secretly pressing the brakes in all kinds of ways we so badly don't want to fail I tell this story a lot so at risk of over telling it I I was once putting my guitar into the first class closet which you know they're pretty nice about fancy guitars so so I put in there and I was talking to the stewardess as we were you know we're the first class it was an ll flight first class had like I think four seats business had like one of the business used to having those old planes twelve maybe I don't know remember the old planes and there may be twelve seats and I said to the lady the stewardess I said would you say there's a lot of competition at the top she says oh yes lots of competition at the time they said well not according to this plane like what do you mean I said well there's only four seats the first class about twelve and no one's even in them there was no one there there I guess they're chillin the lounge or maybe they didn't even sell out their flight many of them don't have people in those seats and then I said check out the competition in coach and you look back at coach the old ll flights before the Dreamliner's where the seats were like packed up against each other like creating one been in that sardine can it's crazy it was like a world war going on back there people were like almost slugging each other over the overhead compartment Tetris game going on over there they were there people were going out of their minds back there and all the temp I told her know all the competitions at the bottom because very few people are willing to taste failure and chew on it most people taste failure once and spit it out and go find something easier go find some other path of least resistance where they will be able to you know call it success with the famous muscle of the the famous analogy of the of the the King who with his men were walking through the meeting with his soldiers were walking through the forest and they're noticing many trees have targets on them with an arrow really in the very center of the bullseye and they keep saying this then they're like who is this Archer and the King finally tells his men to scour the forest and find the archer and they find the archer and they bring the archer to the king and they say here he is and and yeah he's the king says what is your secret you must train my men and he said well it's very simple I pull back the arrow and I release it and it hits the tree and then I take my paintbrush and I paint a target around it and that's the way most people succeed in life that's called success meaning I failed here I failed there and I'm just gonna find the path of least resistance and I'll paint a target around it and say that's what I always wanted and you look at secular people no offense if you're secular but that's the way second people date you know they just shoot arrows all around and eventually you know the one who was the one who was willing to say I love you back got a target around or said I it's probably more likely the one who said I love you first so either they had compassion not to break their heart and so they stayed with them or the opposite is that it was such a bandaid on it on a wounded person that that person said I love you that the that that they married them just because they said I love you meaning they paint a target around it that is not the Jewish way the Jewish way is to is to aim choose your targets carefully figure out where it is you want to be shooting and then start aiming for it you'll probably miss all over the place but eventually you'll hit it right but you chose the target we're not shooting randomly anyway that's the negative sight of breaks you everyone understands what I mean the negative sign of breaks it's how we secretly hold ourselves back in various aspects of life relationships including strangers as I spoke about trust in the streets relationship success being able to let someone else be in control of things you know like a boss or or an investor or partner or you know like how we deal with control and stuff we all got the brakes on how many men do I meet all the time we're going it alone they want to do it their way independent but Judaism's not that way and every great man in Judaism it's it's when you read the book the biography of a great great man in Judaism who will be remembered forever because don't forget like the likelihood that you're forgotten in a hundred years is super super high even if you're observant in this room like can you name something like you good at can you name some things someone did in your family a hundred years ago no and the and so here are really great people who will be remembered forever in the Jewish world and when you study the biography of their book it talks about who they studied under at various points of their lives someone mentored them throughout everything and it's the same exact thing in all successful fields that there were mentors involved and of course we didn't give the lesson but the reason why there's so few seats in business and in first class is because it's because those are the few people willing to chew on the fat of failure because failure is your greatest teacher you don't know you don't know you're going anywhere if you don't fail failure is teaching you I teach you exactly where you need to adjust it's not teaching you to make a 180 it's teaching you to adjust and and keep moving towards your target and that's why so few people sit there because there's really very few very little come tician up there I have this speaking of like just as a digression speaking of sitting in business I heard a story about someone who was borrowing money to sit in business did you tell that story yeah I think it might have been you yeah was you it was you we were driving into into the city one day you're telling me a story about who was that you don't say his name you know who it is you know what I'm like that's the I'm given the part can you tell a story I'll flip the camera there goes your solution anyway but I I don't remember exactly what he told me on this story but um but it was something like like he just knew that you need to have the energy if you want to make it in the financial world you gotta have the energy of a successful person and there's a totally different energy up there and you're also in the lounge with people who have that energy and so you're sending out a vibrational energy that's that's well-to-do in those in in that department and so he was borrowing money to be there and today that today's a rich man he at least flies business does he borrow money to fly business oh he was trying to meet us I watched the story that's why I wanted you to tell it so his focus was meeting people you're kidding that's really funny that is really funny no so then I heard it somewhere else I pretend I'm what you know I'm constantly like those ear pods are just listening to the human potential movement on like you know podcasts full-time like that's that's like all I listen to so I probably heard it from someone else about the vibrations it's like you want to hang around people with that vibration if that if money is your thing so so he was saying something else this guy was sliding in a business to get to know the people that he needed to know and showing that he's you know one of them it worked for what you can invite him to my seminar if he had other Saboteur e issues going on sabotaging his success anyway so that was the brakes what's the good thing about brakes brakes are amazing brakes are amazing because brakes allow you to go really fast you understand like you think of racecar drivers you what do you think of more of the gas pedal the brakes racecar driver which one gas pedal the brakes gas pedal I'm the guys doing 200 300 miles per hour guys on the gas why is he on the gas she knows he has brakes knows this brakes brakes are very important brakes allow you to drive really fast if you understand you have to understand how to drive but but knowing that you've got brakes is is is really really key to to everything you know if you see me going down a when I do extreme downhill mountain biking which is about the only kind I do that's what I do you know full body armor you know steep stuff and I don't go very fast cuz it's super technical type riding and it's very very steep and what's what am i what do you think I'm pedaling down those things do you even move my pedals forward at all doing that no I'm just standing on my pedals what am i doing the whole entire time I never released the brakes I'm on the brakes the brakes are the sport the brakes are the sport if I only had a hundred bucks to spend on one part of the pike to make it a little better than everything else it would be the brakes because now the the modulation or micro adjustments that I need to do to enjoy the sport is all gonna be those brakes and so-and-so brakes are are super amazing so brakes are really bitter and they're really sweet and we have to understand that that part of life of where we're brakes are are really your best friend and they're also your worst enemy gotta understand that stuff thank you for joining please click on whatever you're supposed to click on depending on the platform you're watching you know like subscribe follow share all those all those good things and please join the yum Tok media club comm be a support of this process and this amazing thing we're doing to you know I just yesterday I someone sent me an email about a lady who's who's reaching a lot of people her name's Mel something or other Mel I don't know who knows I don't know what she even speaks on but someone sends me an email that she she she started it the average corporate talk is $10,000 a talk for now imagine making ten thousand those no ten thousand other than hours so she started four years ago at ten thousand dollars and now it's four years later now and she's now at seventy six thousand dollars an hour and she in her last year she had a hundred and eleven classes that she gave that's eight million dollars and she and she and she she said that if she didn't take breaks she could have taught 365 that year and if you watched her speak you'd be like I can on one hand or I can on two hands name in a matter of one minute I can name 10 speakers in the Jewish world not even on Jewish topics who could outdo her in presentation articulation in even in just quality of sound and and that meaning equipment in in like the video aspect and who you know are like barely feeding their families and so I got this email yesterday and what and this person who sent the email is very not in the money he sent it to me in a couple other speakers he's not in the money he's the reason he was sending it was that how ridiculous it is that with the message that we bring which is a universal message you know we we do have very Jewish topics also but the message we bring is just so much more relevant and powerful and life-changing you know over and over again over in a hands down and daily and by the way I have to say I was flattered to be on the list of emails cuz I looked at who else got the email they were also you know people I was flattered to be on the email of these speakers but the guy was saying that we're doing something wrong here or something's up but there's must be a reason why this is going on so he says he asked if we would be willing to create a team of speakers to figure out what's going on here and make sure because because our message also we live it we sleep or lose sleep over it because we want to save not just the Jewish people who want to save this planet from falling right out of orbit from the weight of its problems and we actually have solutions you know we have like real solutions and so so this was all just one long commercial to join the media Club because that's that's that's right now it's funding other things like the people who are doing all the edits and stuff and the equipment and we're getting a new mic also consistent lapel mic we got it up it a bit and anyway but please join them yom tov media club calm shalom if you enjoyed watching this well watch some more send it click it forward it join it subscribe to it you know keep coming on in joining me in this amazing movement to make a big difference in the world and the biggest thing you can do of all is to join the yom tov media club calm please go online yom tov media club calm