The deepest TRUTH of your existence.

[Music] welcome to practical spirituality urination tour in the old city of jerusalem overlooking the western wall which is right behind me here and i just blocked the light out a little and someone created a jet or rocket anyway so i mean let's put it like this love is is the most important thing in your life period that's it love is the most important thing in your life period you know like for example after the war there was you know after world war ii after the holocaust orphanage is filled with children who came out you know either their parents were killed in the war jews and gentiles meaning it was just like it's post-world war you know the orphanage is packed with kids after the war and and the but they noticed that that that there were children in the in the orphanages that were dying and they couldn't figure out why until they finally realized that it was the quieter ones that were dying and while the loud cry baby ones were we're not dying and they finally realized that it's the quieter ones that are not being held and so well let's do an experiment why don't we hold the quieter ones and see what happens and they held the quiet babies and the quite toddlers and the quiet little kids and stuff and they picked him up and held them and and they got better and they were there's a kid the orphans stopped dying and and there was everything was there that shelter that blankets they had food that water that clothing they had everything but but the one thing that was missing from those quieter ones was was loving connection loving closeness loving support and so what they realized at that point that more important than food water shelter clothing is love now all of you people you know you're all you're all so damaged no offense but every person's heart breaks a thousand times by the time they're five years old I mean I I broke my own kids hearts you know like I'm a father I broke my kids heart so many and I'll never forget a phone call I got when I was I was here in the old city I'm running from class to class I was doing like the heyday of outreach so you're just like this group that group this group that group and I'm running around and grouped a group between two groups I get a phone call and I noticed my phone and rings rung several times from a number that I didn't know and I finally pick up the phone and it's someone on the other line says says hi Reb Yom Tov and I'm like yeah I'm translating from Hebrew and he's it was a Pince Carlino closet from my shul and he says yeah I found your son you know your six year old standing in front of the school crying he must have been there for about an hour and I said yeah and he's like he said you were supposed to pick him up and at that point I was just like doh I forgot there no buses today and my wife had told me the night before that I needed to pick him up but I just came right into Asia in the morning and just went through the schedule I had a break to do that it was during lunch but you know someone needed to talk to me in that a mishap met him and he managed to like read my son's name on his little you know the little kids where their little bag over there those cute little it's called a Mew - a Tesla he read the Tesla and saw my name on there and our home phone were no one answered either because my wife would have come and and so I mean just imagine being that boy and what kind of thoughts go through your head watching each boy get picked up you know and probably promising a few adults that his father's coming when they saw him out there and but you know and even then I had to go into another class so I asked the guy I'm like can you keep an eye on him for another hour and and but this happened to all of us this happened to all of us you know ways we don't remember these things but one thing's for sure that when it happened your heart broke and when the heart breaks you can't help but say the following words I will never love again that's when I was on the heartbreaks you say I will never love again and it doesn't matter how old you are and it doesn't matter how intellectual you are you just will never and when I say I'll never look on it's not that I'll never love but I will never love til there I'll never let someone there again that depth unavailable and if you think about your life even all of you in this room as adults even married people you'll notice that even your own spouse never got in to this those spots and it's not that you wouldn't want them there it's not that you wouldn't invite them there in fact you are inviting them it's just that you don't have a GPS system good enough to get into those spots to those closed doors in there and it's particularly this is particularly exacerbated in our generation because well I mean people don't get married so young anymore which just adds years to your not being protected you know that you know that a son-in-law and Yiddish is called a diem and the word a diem means in Hebrew it means it means testimony a duty is testimony so a son-in-law is called testimony so if someone sees one of my son in-laws he'll say I saw your ad 'm I saw your testimony what's he testimony he's testimony that I took care of my daughter that I didn't leave her for the Wolves that she didn't go I have to like figure out how to get herself married off by practicing around she was married off you know she was 17 years old we got a phone call saying you know we have someone for your daughter and we were like she's not dating she's only 17 goodbye and they're like wait wait wait wait just give us one minute you got one minute [Music] she was engaged the next day and she turned 18 before the wedding but she had a baby you know couple months later and you know she had a baby I think she was till 18 when she had her first child but but you know as protected as possible in the old days and still in many countries today girls were married much younger and they were you know much younger than that I like my grandmother she wasn't raised observant she was raised in Los Angeles my grandmother you know today she'd be a hundred and something she passed away many years ago but she was married off by her parents no questions asked secular married up by her parents her parents took care of her and married her off to an amazing man my grandfather Sam at 16 years old and that was normal in a secular community totally normal so your heart only has so much room to get put in the egg slicer and turned and sliced and turned in slice and turn the slice so that when you marry you're actually offering your heart to the person you're marrying - all the heartbreaks of childhood and stuff which are many which are many there's many heartbreaks when you're a kid you know how many even Hasidic kids at big Shabbos tables had to like a non-consenting you know lit fish and kids from big families learn to keep their mouths shut at the Shabbos tail and the parents are like trying to egg them on to say a devar Tara and they're like not in front of my older brothers I learned that lesson when I was about six you know and ever since then it's just I'm not gonna have my heart broken by the people I trusted and so and so love is our most important need and it's also the most fragile need you had a question or a comment right so we'll talk about that in a minute so so the we'll talk about healing that so love being our most important need it's very interesting if you think about the human heart because I'll ask you what's more precious a heart or or a precious stone that's worth ten thousand dollars which one the diamond or the heart all rights way more precious which one's more fragile the heart or the stone all right the stone we keep in a safe the heart has this insane desire to be held by somebody forever we're born to have it held and the first people we were born into knowing which was our parents and our siblings were the ones we thought would hold it best and sadly so many parents have such pressure you know this pressure of keeping up with the Joneses if you're secular or keeping up with the Schwartz's if you're observant and and and the kids sense that the parents concern about how they come off to others is more important than the kid themselves like the kid the parents can't help but be more concerned about the family name more than the family and that's heartbreaking for a child it's heartbreaking this is why when people call me from Brooklyn and say that they got a kid who's you know not in yeshiva anymore you know not really keeping up with his side of the Jewish bargain of daily Jewish life that many of those kids today are back on the path of Torah today and I never met the kid I only worked with the parents I never met the kid but but got the parents to look inside and recognize what kind of what kind of inner intimate love trust was breached in their over concern for how they look coming in to shul with or without their sons it's very painful for a father to not have a son sure with him and so but the the sons start to realize he doesn't care what I do in shul he cares that I make him look good in shul by being there with him now there is a deeper pride to pray with your sons right the family that prays together stays together so on the one hand it's there's a deep deep pride in praying with your children in the synagogue together there's something very beautiful I don't mean pride like haughty pride I'm talking about just like tradition you know like this is this is getting passed down and here we are together like the the grandfather is sitting there the sons are all around and the boys are you know in there too and everyone's praying together in and it's like something's working here but it's easy it's easy to cross the border of it's not that part but it's rather I'm embarrassed if they're not there and the second the sons sense the embarrassment of the father their desire to not be there gets really strong the second the father has a sense like he so badly wants his sons on board because of the embarrassment of the son not being on board the sons can't help but not be on board and then when the sons aren't on board the parents get into this horrible situation that we learned from Rebekah rifka our four mother who said the words when she realized she was pregnant with a schizo baby okay because she you know she had some schizo baby inside dude do we have a extra cup around that what you were pointing it who was drinking in this are you just offering me someone's cup okay you have a clean cup yeah amazing I understand I'll just keep refilling it both I taught a day-night in a minute I mean I'm shocked honey boo boo so rifka has asked it's as far as she's concerned ask it so baby because she doesn't know she's got twins that they're not schizo ones that Sadiq and ones of Russia ones holy and once you know evil guy she didn't know that all she knew is something's really wrong in there and she said the words llama zette annoy P which can be translated as what am i living for because if you see your kids aren't on the path you can't help but ask what you're living for right because like here you are like toiling away at your Jewish life sacrificing you know life risk births you know the the incredible sacrifice of raising those kids and if they're not on the path in the end you know okay that's nice yet babies but we're having babies because because we're keeping a tradition going here we are we are you know as I like to call us we are a solution to the Earth's problems and and we are we're here to rectify the planet you know I my background is you know I was a I kind of look like this guy when I got here and my fellow surfer from the southern Bay of Los Angeles I was from the northern Bay and he it's so funny how connected I feel to you by there and I'm sure you sense from my accident that like something doesn't mix between my look and that I would sound just like you if we were hanging out so anyway but I was also like part of environmentalist programming and like you know protecting the earth and stuff but I I was also part of a radical environmentalist group that's you know no one would ever admit their part of actively but because it's already been close to 30 years since I've done anything active there it was called earth first which is a radical environmentalist organization where they involved in all kinds of illegal activity and you know they're they're basically environmental terrorists who you know yeah I mean I've I've definitely caused damage in my life to machinery and stuff that was going to mess with a vigilant yeah but I was young and dumb at the time and although I don't have much regret and they what's interesting for me every time I visit Los Angeles is driving up the 405 and looking up at the hills after Sunset Boulevard is to see that Jay paul Getty Museum up there and know that that how many tractors were destroyed before they could finally build up there and and it was way after I'd left LA but but there was no building up there it costs way too much to build up there on art on our trails and they tried many times and every time they prevented it but the we were kids there were kids but no tractor could survive us and in the but in the end it's the Jay paul Getty Museum you know which was built you know I was already in Israel when the Jay paul Getty Museum was built anyway but as part of these radical environmentalists and and when when I visited LA once I had my kids with me and thank God eight kids you know it's pretty impressive you know it's like ducklings one after the other of the other and and so when I got there several of my radical environmentalist friends were at this party that I came to and I came in with my wife and then here come the ducklings and so one of them says one of them says to me Glazer like you knew more than all of us about you know about the companies and the overpopulation and the you know lack of them you know lack of resources and you know having I was a small carbon footprint and you know like you were the last person we thought would even get married from you know just my my my stand for the environment and I was that level of like irresponsible to even have children that's the kind of millennial I was and and the anyway so I said to amazing timing we were sitting on the bluffs on the Pacific Palisades Bluffs where everyone smokes up and and just as they're telling me this just as they're telling me this someone had unwrapped a wrapper on something and went flying by us and all eight of my kids went chasing after that wrapper for about two hundred yards and okay and it went into the bushes and then they're gone for a while and then they came back with the wrapper to show it to me you know these little kids and and my friends were like whoa and and I'm like listen when you're creating more of a problem for our planet I understand but when you're creating the solution so you should have as many kids as possible and one Hasidic man walked into an old folks home in Brooklyn and there was a Holocaust survivor or a secular lady sitting there and you know in the lobby and she sees one kid after the other after the other after they're coming in twelve kids and she asked this guy how many and he looks back and he says until six million and so the so we are we are the solution for this earth and we should have as many kids as possible each one of us which means you have to get super stable and strong to be able to do that because you know family planning for a Jew isn't what fits in a five-seater okay it's not like yeah we'll have three kids so we don't have to drive one of those ridiculous Honda Odyssey you know like the last thing I want is a minivan you know they but literally it almost seems like people plan their families based on based on a sedan you know and that's not our values but cutting all the way back is that when parents see that their kids aren't keeping those values the parents can't help but ask themselves llamas it annoys me what am i living for now some parents will just kick shoot them in the foot for the rest of the lives about you know uh that darn kids ruining my life you know and what an embarrassment and then of course there's the ones I get calls also the way they were the parents are like you know the kids stuck now because they finally realized that America with all its acceptance turned out to be you know like it looked good it looked like candy to my children growing up in a non acceptance home because those homes aren't good at acceptance when they're you know when they're more interested in how they look then how the kids are doing they're not winning any acceptance awards so the kid looks at America and things out America everyone's accept it you could be a boy you could be a girl you could be a girl you could be a boy you can even change it on day to day yeah you're okay whatever you are you know and that and that's you know just one example you know the most extreme example of like acceptance and but it doesn't take long to realize that it's actually mean streets out there because you know they may look accepting from like you know of a distance but in the end it's really your mother and father are the ones who are gonna remortgage their house you know refinance their house or sell it if you had a medical or legal issue or you know the in the end they're the ones who love you and they're losing sleep over here they're the ones who care and so what happens the kid wants to come back and then I get a call Jerusalem saying this kid wants back and I'm like yeah okay great he's back and they're like or she's back and they're like no it's not good for the rest of the kids like we can't have this kid poisoning the rest of the kids at which point I tell him those kids are already poisoned you poisoned these kids this was the one kid who went to get some help maybe find some safe space in in his life or her life and so your house is already upside down your job is to bring the kid back and show your kids that this home doesn't have an eject button this home doesn't eject you this home is where you're accepted in no matter what but here's the main point that I want to say it's when you ask the question llamas annoys me what am i living for you're supposed to answer the question you're supposed to actually answer it what am i living for we'll till now I've been living for how we come off for others but from now on forget others forget even the kids this is my life you born alone you die alone your eternity is being built every single day stop living for your kids stop living for your neighbors opinions and your community's opinions start living for the soul that God put in you and get busy with your commandments and it turns out that our Kabbalistic tradition the Zohar you know the Kabbalah backs up this point by telling us what the only Olam haba you get the only eternity you get in your life all of you sitting right here the only thing you're gonna get when you die will be whatever you did in this life what is called in Hebrew mishima the only thing you get in this life is whatever you did from a real genuine authentic truthful place if you did it for ulterior motives if there was some agenda behind it for example giving sadaqa to get your name high up on a plaque or something did I just say that bad thing to say no no really because there's two things that no matter why you do it it's still you still reap its rewards and it's really one thing but sadaqa gets added to it the thing is called hesed i said anything you do as an act of kindness even if you did it for all the wrong reasons it still goes the reason it goes there's several reasons why it goes but the main reason it goes is because the whole substrate of all of creation is made of press it is made of kindness because it's called olam aside you by name god created the whole world out of it so if you wind up doing something for somebody let's say there's some dude you do something for him and you're thinking to yourself what's your name again you do something for some guy and you're thinking I think this guy's got a future you know I'm gonna I'm gonna help build that guy you know who knows when I'll get later for that you know and and they you know many all the wrong reasons you you it counts it counts in this world and accounts in the necks because you're you're part of the substrate of creation which is kindness to others sadaqa hits the same thing so I give a bad example of getting a plaque because if you give sadaqa it does it does the trick so the anyway but stuff we do lola Schmo let's say for example Torah study Torah study like there's certain people in this room have spent many years studying Torah yeah anyone in this room spent many years studying Torah okay maybe these two guys in the back spent many years studying time so it turns out it turns out that all the Torah you study for the wrong reason stays in this world so you could like you could like die after years of study like having finished the whole Talmud multiple times and you die and you're expecting like there's going to be some kind of parade for you in the next world and you're like coming out ready to march with the band and stuff and you get into a giant Hall so to speak and there's nothing there there's nothing there and none of your tour came with you why because whatever there's all being the best learner or being the guy learned the most or you know you had all the wrong agendas going on during the learning time one sec but there's really good news that I'm going to tell you before you raise your hand cuz maybe you'll like the good news the good news is that if you ever realize that you had been learning for the wrong reasons and you decide you're gonna learn for the right reasons it turns out all the Torah study you ever learned is waiting in a little storehouse it's like putting a safe and the combo on the safe to release it is to have done chuhwa for the wrong reasons meaning have repented for learning for the wrong reasons and then to you have to review it you have to review all the tour you ever learn just read through it you just got to review it so read through the torah ever learned and it releases all the tour you've ever learned and so it's really important that when someone discovers that they had been learning for the wrong reasons to go back and review for the right reasons yeah children that's very good for all-trans like that for everybody that I'll speak about that for me first let me translate the first part that that if you do something for the wrong reasons you can come to do it for the right reasons the the ballot ano a great kabbalists who lives the ballot on who lived hundreds of years ago who was a great kabbalists said that um that it only works though if you do something for the wrong reasons in order to come to the right reasons you have to at least know you're doing it for the wrong reasons because if you don't realize that you're then it just stays right so our kids for example your kids my kids you're good we know that it's probably a good idea like this morning when my son was getting ready to leave in a rainstorm you know he was not looking too happy about going out there today and he's a little nine-year-old boy and he's gonna go learn all day you know in Yiddish in Muharram and and he just was not looking so happy so so right before he left the door I said to my wife as if I didn't even notice he was there I said you know at the end of this week Friday it's probably a good idea I take all the kids to do something fun and you know he'd believe me he was listening he was listening of that and then he left the house turned out he crashed his bike on the way in and he was back 20 minutes later looking extra unhappy now if you're wondering why my bike my son leaves on his bike in a rainstorm you know it's because he's my son I also showed it here in a bike in a rainstorm anyway the I'm just trying to figure out how the Pinsk are leaners Rebbe his Rebbe has figured out that him riding a bike is the best idea when he's the only kid I think in the history of like two hundred years and pins currently never riding a bike to the hater but I like this Rebbe anyway so you got to know you're doing things for the right reason if it's gonna lead to it and I think our kids know because they see us fathers learning and no one's given us a candy you know we're learning they see there's a reason to learn that's the right reason to learn and but they're accepting the price they're sending accepting the prizes that we give them as kids and they will come to the maturity of study yeah there's partially lachemann yeah yeah and since you're on that there's also what's lachemann for actually me and this gentleman in the back we're about the same age for what solution offer us today ten years ago we might laugh at you understand so meaning you lachemann by the way just in case i translated before but I'll say it again it's doing things for the real true reason like why you should really do something as opposed to doing it for alternative motives so but the thing is as you mature you start to realize wow even what I thought was the right reasons now I'm discovering there's a whole new level of that and there even was a part of my ego involved in what I thought when I thought I had no ego was actually there was an aspect of my ego I didn't even know was there that was involved now I've broken through that one and now I better go review my Torah which a good reason that we should keep reviewing we should review our Torah as much as possible and keep sending it up for for that now ladies and gentlemen it is the crazy thing is that we got five minutes left and we're here to talk about love it was just about love today so our hearts broke many times and the most precious thing we got is our hearts you know they've been sliced and diced and and we've got when we marry and have children but especially when we marry we we want to offer them as much of a whole heart as possible and that's one of the reasons why why it's so important not to give your heart to someone until you're wearing an engine it's for the ladies till you're wearing an insurance policy on your ring finger your ring finger you know when you get the insurance policy you give the heart right no tickee no Washee yeah no ring no ring finger no heart put the ring on give the heart that's how that's the order of events that was all changed of course late six-night 1960s where suddenly there was no insurance policy because I'm not gonna go into graphic detail what was invented at the end of the 1960's but suddenly you know people were giving up a lot without a lot of insurance and since then you know it's not been so good for it's not being good for women since then and in the anyway but for us is we need to give that heart so how do you give your heart if you're missing part of it from crazy things that happened when you were a kid how do you actually give up your heart to the person so one thing is the desire to when things the desire to that to know that I'm I'm not giving all my heart and I want to give all my heart yeah the next thing is to trust because what's the whole issue of giving it heart is trust why did you how did the heart break in the first place you trusted like my son trusted me and I didn't show up to pick him up from school so you trust it and trust got breached and so therefore we need to focus less on love and more untrusting focus less on love and more on trust and that is to to trust implicitly your heart in people's hands now some of you would say well that sounds dangerous I'm just gonna trust my heart in people's hands but here's the thing you've been going and this is very important to get this you've been going with a very young child's immature version of when it's okay to trust and not there's a man let's say you're a female there's a man who's who's sacrificed half the world population to put that ring on your finger that's a lot he also comes home each night that's something he also he's going out of his way for you all over the place that's also something see once your trust gets breached you wind up with a child's there's your child's envision of your relationship and so you make this poor guy jump through circus hoops and often making some of those jumps impossible just so you can have some weird subversive proof that you're not really loved and those kind of games are are you know it means that you're not really looking with adult eyes you're still coming from the pain of childhood and that's what I meant by trust implicitly just trust fully for men and women trust fully you know give them all your trust all your heart all your trust just give it give it up and I'll tell you something else in case they do have a little if there was something not worth trusting there was something not so trustworthy there well I'll tell you one way to expose it don't trust them why because they can't help psychologically from saying hey I'm already doing the time might as well do the crime I see I don't she doesn't trust me so why am i why am i doing back flips and so he stays at work longer and you know it's like or she you know she's off to career and you know he doesn't really trust me anyways I might as well just go live my individual life and and so so you you it's not good to not trust the person when you're trying when deep down all you want is to be able to trust the person and I learned many years ago that Trust is the key to all of everything and I trust everybody I trust everybody there's probably several people in this room who even know the code on my iPhone this is a random guy here knows the code on my iPhone you know have I ever given it to you personally personally yeah I will announce it sometimes and but but what that does is it gives me the ability to not have to lock my car because who's the person more likely to get ripped off the person who's always trying to make sure no one wrongs him the person who's always hoarding their possessions and locking everything that person's basically radiating ripped me off like if a guy's checking doors to rip off a car don't get like a phone call when they pass my card like something crazy will happen that will make them forget about my car they won't notice it and and I've just learned to trust and I've also learned to love as a result about it and it's worth it I've told this many times but in college when I went to university UCSB how old are you by the way 20 you would going to school now are you Cal oh here we go my mom went to go so so the so I was at UCSB sorry so I was at UCSB and and the that's why I was surfing up by rink on the other day is yeah I can't help but gravitate up towards those Point Break and the anyway every year my roommates I was over the same roommates all along we're like best friends for life and my roommates and I were they would count up how much was stolen for me that year why because we have you know these crazy parties and there's random people coming in there you know drinking our keg beer until the kegs run out you're like the most popular person until your keg runs out I'll never forget those parties you know like you know cuz I would have six kegs was the deal I made with my father that he if I go to the University that he has to deliver six kegs not he but he has to send six kegs of beer the big kegs six kegs every Thursday night and and but we wouldn't drink it all Thursday night our weekend start on Thursdays but by Friday night oh they were gone and but I'll never forget it was like like clockwork every weekend at Friday night I would be walking with a group of really drunk people down the street looking for the next keg party and just thinking like how I was like a star literally ten minutes ago and when the last drop of beer came out of that keg I was just like another guy looking for a beer and walking with a couple dozen guys for the next party any but at the end of every year they would do it they would do the math we'd all be sitting around and they would do the math how much stuff was stolen from me and you did a couple hundred bucks at the end of the heshbon you know like my wetsuit booties are you know my surfboard leash or you know or you know a couple of CDs or my bong or who knows what they stole and they they but they took off with stuff and and then and then when they would finish with it they'd say okay this year you know you lost like 400 bucks worth of stuff and then I would say to him this was became a ritual year after year I'd say to them well that's a savings of $400 and they're like why and I said because if I could get a subscription for 800 dollars a year then I get to trust everybody implicitly it's an implied trust to every single human being that I come across and I don't have to think about my stuff and it only cost me 800 bucks a year I would pay it it'd be worth it to live in a world where you can trust because there you can love and there you're safe and I lived my year safe and I don't know how you guys lived keeping all your stuff around but I had a great year and okay I lost some stuff and they should be blessed whoever stole it should be blessed and use it well and get their acts together and you want to know something my second year university it was something like three hundred and fifty bucks and my next year universe like 275 the next year was like 150 and next year you're asking why I was there somebody here as well when you take two classes a semester because you're allowed to take one-third of your classes pass no pass so I would take two you were let you had to take three so I would take two that were multiple guess I know you call it multiple choice but I called it multiple guests and the and if you're Jewish like you can get a C on any multiple guests exam so and they and then I took the other class no pass and I passed many of those anyway because I found out it was a multiple guests exam and I went in there and actually took the exam and pass but the but the anyway eventually the last year University I don't remember how much I lost it was I think a little over a hundred dollars worth of stuff and it's just like it's just gone away altogether and and so we got to love and we got to trust and we got to trust and we got to love and that's such a better way to live and you got a you have to break through your crazy addiction to making people jump through hoops to be close to you you are a hassle to be close to you understand you're a hassle to be close to you're a drama queen I'm speaking of the guys too and in 2020 I think you're allowed to call the guys Queens as well with all their tight tight pants and scarves and stuff but yeah you're a drama queen and and you're making everyone over Lea prove something that as if it's so worth it by the way and and you know because not much you gave either most of the time so so anyway give all your heart and here's the thing that when you have love you love to do for people that you love we love to do it my wife doesn't think twice about the effort she puts in for those she loves and that incredible continental breakfast she gave to the whole Shiva and my the Rosenfeld's house next door to me this morning I mean you should have seen this breakfast it was like feta cheese --is and sliced vegetables I was like it almost makes it worth it to die and and they such a beautiful breakfast I promise you she only had pleasure while she cut those vegetables it was she had pleasure the whole entire time and watching the meat it was its own pleasure and and so when you love you do so when it comes to God all of us have to realize that all of us have to realize that we have to be crazy in love with God and I'll give you a simple simple recipe to be crazy in love with God it's just open your eyes to notice how much he's orchestrating in your life notice the orchestration just notice there's some being is there's some infinite being a little too interested in you and you're just basically being stopped by the create of the universe and you would think God has something better to do than like arrange your life but he's arranging anthills for ants to live on and and anthills for ant eaters did have kiddush on and and like he's he's arranging everything all around you all the time open your eyes recognize that everything's being arranged for you there's some being that's madly in love with you stalking you at all times and and is way too involved in details that you just think he has something better to do then we weren't about your details and there he is each time like he works through the world it works through people and through things and maybe a lack of money causes you more prayer and and and then you have to go meet people you're gonna have to call somebody because you got to get a job which means you're now connecting to people and he wants us connecting like that and and it's all being arranged the good and the bad in quotes are all part of this crazy tapestry that God's painting and you're a major character in that in that in that film and you can't help but love a being that's that interested in you he way out does your own parents in his interest because your parents would protect you from stuff he won't your parents will protect you from stuff he won't because he knows where you're gonna grow and he knows it on a millimeter accuracy level so there's stuff you're going through that you wish your parents could protect you from they can't even protect you from it but he's perfectly orchestrating it to develop you and develop you and some of that stuff's hard some that stuff's crazy scary and so we don't quite understand why God would have us grow in those ways and why we have to go through some of that crazy stuff to grow but he knows what he's doing he knows what he's doing he's crazy about you and when you feel that love then you're like it's my pleasure just like my wife's pleasure it's my pleasure to do for him and to not do stupid stuff that's forbidden to a Jude for a Jew to do it's my pleasure not to do that I have pleasure not eating the hotdog at the ballgame la has it's you know it's got Jeff's Glatt Kosher you know Jeff squat I forget what it's called exactly Jeff's gourmet another la prison Jeff's gourmet is on the it's on the mezzanine level down below or something no on the field at Dodger Stadium Jeff's gourmet right next to a mic a craft beer stand it's like it's like heaven yeah anyway everyone we're over time now so if you're watching this live please click on all the bells and whistles they're the follow the subscribe and share it with friends and and and join the club that's called yom tov media club calm go online young Tomita club calm and it was a pleasure speaking to all you 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