The 5 keys to forgive people who hurt you badly

[Music] gentleman welcome to practical spirituality here at Asia tour in the old city of jerusalem overlooking the Temple Mount so tomorrow's the day of forgiveness the day of atonement where God basically does a factory reset for our lives he resets everything and forgives the Jewish people Gentiles might complain and say well that's unfair you know like like here we've we've you know we have to live our whole lives only they like get the answer to our scorecard when we die you get to like reset the system every single year hardly seems fear it hardly seems fair however the it is fair because because Gentiles only have seven Commandments only five of which are now shall nuts and you got to be a real idiot to do any of those five anyway so how how big how big is the plaque in their arteries you know how big a a how much can that possibly mess them up whereas a Jew has fifty five thousand laws that they can potentially get wrong there's a there's 613 hyperlinks each of those hyperlinks leads to a website which breaks down into fifty five thousand laws and what a Jew can do wrong inadvertently in one week a Gentile couldn't do in their lifetime and so we that we have to have that factory reset every year and it's a and that factory reset that we get is really important because God is creating the world via these 613 these are the pipes of creation so if the Jews have a lot of plaque meaning a lot of what's the word a barrier what's called the or La Salette or the the foreskin of the heart like it's our hearts are covered over by my sin so then the so then the creation itself gets clogged and so God does the roto-rooter and routes out the pipes once a year on Yom Kippur cleans it out and there's even a there's even a discussion in in from Mishnah ik times whether the day itself atones without you doing a thing meaning you could just lie in bed or go jet-skiing or something like you just go do you could just eat cheeseburgers all day what right well yeah for every bite you'll get a terrible sin and be cut off spiritually from your people and then you'll be and then and then you'll be forgiven a second later and then you take another bite and you're spiritually cast off from your people like cut off spiritually and then you're reinstated with forgiveness a minute later so but yes you do have to fast don't don't try that and by the way the the rabbi who believed that I think it was rebbe reb you who Dena see and the we we do not hold like that we hold that the reset happens because you actually embrace the day which includes fasting in the prayer and repentance and by the way don't forget to repent on Yom Kippur because you could easily just go down the list of you know the prescribed list which is all in plural and cuz half those things you you like you'd never even think to do yeah you'd need a lot of imagination for some of the things on that list and so why are you hitting your chest over those things and the answer is you're not hitting your Qi it's not about you it's about you and the other Jews that are connected to your soul because there are six hundred thousand root souls yeah they're thirteen million Jews forty-two million just that comes out to about twenty five people are walking around the planet who share your soul now you may be a nice good girl or boy it was keeping Yom Kippur and keeps Shabbat and keeps kosher and keeps all the other good stuff but it could be many people whose soul you share do not keep that stuff and therefore your your by you having a proper yom kippur you are cleaning up and resetting for them who may not even be celebrating Yom Kippur at all and it's not just them you're also have specifically connected to you every Jew has connected to them a certain amount of mineral vegetable animals which will include all fish and fowl and and Gentiles each of us has a certain amount of Gentiles I forget what the math was but someone if you have an apple phone and just typing to Google sorry to go in your calculator and get calculate seven billion / 13 million then you'll see how many Gentiles each one of us could if it were even I doubt it's even but if we're perfectly even each one of us would have these Gentiles literally feeding off of our Commandments like when you're doing a mitzvah these this amount of Gentiles how many Gentiles 13 Millions both etad like oh so you have 53 Gentiles counting on you and and then and every Jew has that and that finally makes up all the Gentiles in the world and and the truth is is if you weren't such a if you weren't keeping Judaism properly they probably extremely p OD because they're there they have their their spiritual flow has been cut off because of you so so it's like they would if they had any of you who you were I would suggest buying a helmet yeah because they would come after you and and the kabbalists explained this is anti-semitism because and because deep down the gentiles know they're getting ripped off they just don't know which jew it is and so they just go after the Jews themselves because they they just don't know which choose the one messing them up but if they did they just go after that Jew and and lastly before I take Bradley's question lastly is is that matter remember so no they haven't but we do have a Majerus that that says that God offered the you know the major nations of the world they were all offered the Torah we have a you know we have an oral tradition that that says that they were all offered the Torah and but it's an oral tradition it's like all our oral traditions they're called Midrash room and they're there to teach us certain lessons I'm not gonna go into that lesson right now okay yes ma'am ah I wouldn't say every Jews had that opportunity but certainly many have had the opportunity and and they and no matter where they are they at least every Jew in the world could have asked the questions that would have led there them to the answers you know it might have been quite a journey to get to the answers but every Jew has that opportunity to ask the questions yeah yeah yeah sure but most Jews will be will be one of the three DS which are distracted depressed or devoted and and a lot of the Jews who have never discovered Judaism we'll just keep distracting themselves with more and more distractions and in the you know you'll notice Jews dry are driven to distraction more than anyone else and when I say distraction I'm talking about wealth and I'm talking about artistry and I'm talking about musicianship and I'm talking about creativity and I'm talking about business and time in real estate I'm talking about banking and I'm damn it well just everywhere you will find the top of any industry or art or anything creative you will find Jews they're distracting their hearts from Sinai from that from that from God depress the second one is not everyone's so good at something you know not everyone not everyone's so good at distracting themselves so instead they have this I mean this is one of the definition distraction of depression Viktor Frankl made this famous in his book man's search for meaning and his later therapy he worked in Holocaust survivor he said that that when someone deep down has an unconscious knowledge that there's something really big out there like really big and meaningful but no one ever lets him know what that is that causes an existential depression it's a different kind of depression than people are used to talking about it's called an existential to pressure raise your hand if you've ever felt an existential depression yes you know time time' where things are kind of meaningless and you know why should that bother you I mean today's Millennials you know they're the things being meaningless is fun that means you get to do whatever you want with your you know what's you know things are meaningless so shouldn't that be great and the answer is well yes if you're a Gentile not if you're Jewish because if you have Mount Sinai in your gene if in your genetics if Mount Sinai is in your the collective unconsciousness of the Jewish nation and you've never been taught about Torah in any real way meaning you might have been taught some religious stuff but Judaism is not a religion so if you were never taught Judaism from a core tribal level of our true ancestral heritage so then you just think life's meaningless except your heart says life so meaningful but you never found the meaning that leads to depression okay and that's a that's pretty heavy depression and the last is devoted and that's people who actually embrace the tribal ancestry are actual wisdom chain and we're part of that as the wisdom tribe and we align our lives with that by avoiding the negatives and doing the positive Commandments and and and so we're pretty hooked up and the numbers prove themselves go check out some of the sociological findings they've found with people who actually are aligned themselves with Torah you'll see that we are off the charts whole index points on psychological charts above all of humanity and and you'll find also Jews ranked very low compared to Gentiles when they're on when when compared to secular people for example we make up per capita forty percent more depressed people went on that existential depression we make up forty percent more depressed people than the Gentile population so we were off the chart slow and and also we we also have an a rate of senility at the end of life just secular Jews have a rate of senility at the end or like much higher than Gentiles because what senility is a losing your marbles at the end of your life you know old people lose their marbles after a while but in my community of Torah scholars the majority of the Torah scholars and their wives make their own breakfast the day they die and they are fully sufficient self-sufficient and in fact their mastery of toward the greater master area you have of Torah likely that will directly affect how long you'll live and if you get so big in Torah that you become the actual question answer for the generation like you there's always a number of people who are the answers of questions if you can hit that category of wisdom you will automatically even live into your hundreds no one's died before one hundred years old the last fifty years who's reached that category you will live into your hundreds why that is this broadly because the nation needs you and God's gonna make sure you stay stay you know fit you know the whole nations leaning on you so the post came exactly but again yeah they're called post Kim yeah the day they die and make them breakfast and then they lay down they call all their kids and their grandkids and their great grandkids and their great great grandkids and the place fills with people and they bless everybody and they close their eyes and I know people still do that stuff you know in our community of a different age is usually in the eighties and nineties they're ready it's time they're ready to go and it's over I know if the people on that level suffer even if they were suffering I'm not sure they call that so what is suffering suffering is your relationship to facts that's up yeah they make a deal I mean God's got to take them out somehow you know they often get oh okay wait wait wait wait let's get back to him Kippur so we learned that God treats us as we try to trust we learned that God treats us as we treat others we're coming up to the day of forgiveness how is how are we supposed to treat others with forgiveness how many raise your hand if there are people that you have not forgiven in your life people have harmed you obviously right and if they're people um forgiving okay and the rest you are lying okay especially if you're doing this now forgiving them and then we're gonna raise my hand because this is my posture of not forgiving so anyway everyone has people that haven't forgiven and we're all gonna ask God to forgive us tomorrow and you're way worse than the people who have harmed you way worse I mean imagine imagine like God's creating you okay you don't your life doesn't create itself nothing creates itself God creates us so God's creating you 24/7 60 seconds a minute okay over and he's just creating and creating and creating okay now imagine we had a clock like an atomic clock that tells even the milliseconds and the seconds and the minutes and at the end of the day it tells you how much time during your to last 24 hours you spent thinking about God creating you how would you score how would you score nice that's awesome that's pretty good 30 minutes it's very honest and it would be a pretty high score and that would mean that someone spent their day meditating a bit probably 30 minutes you know because I think all of us have fleeting thoughts of God but when it meditates on God would have 30 minutes maybe more now the so we're worse understand we're worse I mean commit to being married to someone who ignores you all the time and that's not a person you need to to like keep you keep your body being creating it with each moment like that's your person you're married to but imagine being married to someone who ignores you constantly and here God not only creates us but orchestrates our lives for us make sure you eat make sure your clothes these never left you down never let you down ever and the worst stuff that ever happened you is the stuff that made you grow the most it's it's slowly turning you into one of the world's teachers which means you'll be able to give like God because the point is to be like God but we got to forgive back to Yom Kippur is we got to forgive the people in our lives if we are expecting God to forgive us maybe what I was saying is the stuff we've suffered has made us into the best people we could be and because we've become these great people that makes great people automatically our teachers because when you're when you have greatness you share the greatness and and that makes you like God and then you get to sleep well at night because you you know imagine I mean how much better would you sleep if someone let you know that day what a difference you made for them there's nothing better it's nothing better so I think that that's probably part of the reason we all want to be parents is because we want to make a difference for somebody okay so we all want to forgive so what I'm what I'd like to do is share with you the five steps of forgiveness so you can forgive these people once and for all do the five steps of forgiveness and that's nice there's a heart on the board so we're gonna do the five steps of forgiveness I apologize if this hits you I know it looks really easy but it's not easy from this angle that's my graveyard of pins at this angle you have a very small aperture between this ceiling feature in the in the shelf I don't make it so awesome okay so we're talking about for giving because you will not give to somebody if you resent them okay so this is all forgiving so that you can get back to godliness which is giving and goddess constantly creating the world which is the ultimate giving and so forgiving will lead you to become someone who is giving so forgiving so there are five steps in forgiving I'm sure there's more than that but but we'll do five so the first step is that is that resentment is is poisonous they it's been proven that you know different emotional states cause different excretions in your bloodstream and resentments one of the killers resentments a killer it'll it'll age you like nothing else man you want to look old well the gold young hold resentment and it creates all kinds of things including constipation you know just hold stuff in man so so that's number one is it is it it's poisonous and and when you forgive well let's just call resentment another way of saying it as a resentment is when you wish someone would die but you drink the poison when you wish someone would die but you drink the poison and when you forgive someone it's when you let someone out of jail only to discover that that person is you so we miss that yeah that one again that's a good one forgiveness is when you let someone out of jail only to realize that person is you okay so that's part of forgiveness yeah put them in jail or some give the perfect segue the next you get the first perfect segue and that is you gift forgiveness there are normally forgiveness is not a gift people actually ask for it and that's very humbling to ask for it it's humiliating really to come up to somebody and say you're you know you blew it not too many people have the courage to do that and so what do we do we just never forgive them because they never really asked they didn't take ownership over what they did and so we're just not gonna forgive them except what we're still drinking the poison and so therefore what do we what kind of forgiveness we give everyone say the gift to forgive this and that the gift of forgiveness in sin so the gift of forgiveness and the gift of forgiveness means that you're gonna not your gonna stop waiting for their apology and you're just gonna spit out the poison of resentment and gift it straight out gifted someone gifted me if forgiveness recently some lady some lady I mean it took her like 32 years to finally get the courage like reach out to a rabbi and she reached out to me and I totally ignored her now it just so happens that I didn't read those messages because I don't use facebook messaging but I got it I did thank God I was like I was like on my way into the bathroom like I don't know what Saturday night last week yeah it was I don't know was it yeah it was it was like Saturday night and I I just see you know how on phones when our phones are it'll still flash on that something came in so what came in a facebook measure which I ignore cuz I don't use it I'm an alpha poster you know and an alpha poster is you post you know look at stuff you didn't you're an alpha poster so you post but you don't look at everyone else's stuff that's very beta to be like going through people the newsfeed you know it's not real men don't look at news fees okay so anyway the anyway there's ladies thank God I saw this and what did it say it said that I forgive you I didn't know I thought it was spam actually I thought a spam just like it was gonna be a cool poetic thing I'm like return Russian Yom Kippur for bigot but I opened it up and you know just to make sure it wasn't spam maybe it isn't actually to me and it was and she went through a pretty rough time and and many months of eating her heart out that like the rabbi that everyone keeps saying is so cool and caring and giving in loves and like the right guy for you to reach out to and she got dissed she forgave me no it didn't ask she wasn't asking me to even say anything back it was just I forgive you I'm letting this go because it's her it's hurting me too much and and I immediately called her hi this Revit glazier I don't really use Facebook messaging once why go on it and you know I see something there and I'm like here's my whatsapp number you know and which by the way I appreciate people send me what's apps and stuff I want to be all the more connected to the world around me as possible and also feedback like anyone and I get once one I'll get a whatsapp it'll always come right when I'm like having a really down day and I'll just like why do I exist why do I exist why do I exist and then bring it's like rabid Glaser you changed my life I guess I'll hang around another day so so yeah my what if anyone want my whatsapp it's +972 if you want to put in there yeah you can also ask me questions plus nine seven two five two eight three four four six six four plus nine seven two five two eight three four four six six four appreciate feedback questions I love when I say you say something inaccurate once in a while like people Google in there like that was totally wrong so let me know I don't want to repeat something inaccurate so like help me you know let's work together let's be let's be a community you know and it's not just one way this technology and stuffing so being connection with you and and the ultimate connection is to be part of my club I have a media Club that's working to get as much as this out as possible that more and more people have relevant Tara to hear that will make a big difference for them Jews and Gentiles so please please join the club but what's it called Yom toke media club calm so Yom Tov media Club calm and and that automatically puts you in a very special place in my heart and one last thing by the way if anyone does what's at me and I don't reply probably because you're what's that got a blanched by like 30 other whatsapp's three of which were emergencies and sorry you know like I'm I'm gonna deal with the emergency whatsapp's and by the end of my day there's thirty more on top of those thirty and now yours is sixty down and I don't your name's not in my phone if you're like all the other it's no offense who think that the little picture the little circle and what's apps to a picture of the sunset or your kids or or like a horse you saw like that's a great way to never get answered is is think that that your profile pictures supposed to be a photo of a nice car or something or or your company logo it's like no I your our way at the end of my list of anyone I'm replying to you know that's even if your name's in my phone because your names of my fluence listed with a bunch of their names but if your face is staring at me I'm like hey that guy needs me that lady needs me you understand like like I'm gonna at least click on it and read the first line or two if your face is there because it's human there's not a lot of human with social media and like who in the world thought to put anything but their face on there I have no I mean I opened it out of like okay what's up had to use this it says Wells open your account so I like put my name and you know on there oh there's a picture okay click you know it's like obviously beaver you know want to see you I don't want to see your dog yeah it's a perfect way to not get answered anyway if your whatsapp got avalanched if your once I've got avalanche just put it back to the top 24 hours later just send an arrow pointing upward just send an error if it's really important right that every day it's just pop it just pops it back to the top I mean you could put a picture of Mickey Mouse but it gets it back up to the top of the deck yeah put your card back on top it's so easy but I'm sure everyone gets so dramatic you know obviously you doesn't care about me and you know that's why I didn't answer it's like people today sending resumes I was just hearing Jordan Peters on my way back from surfing so he was saying that people get all bent out of shape that someone didn't answer their resume you know no company said oh yeah we'd like to interview you except what resumes cetera online so the second they went online every company would get 10,000 resumes that they they had to hire people just to read resumes and the last thing they're gonna do thank you the last thing the last thing they're gonna do it's answer your resume like that's not where you're gonna get answer I think it's 98% resumes don't even get rid so like but then you're not gonna work for another half a year because you you were rejected no one even read it never got anywhere you'd have to send out 98 resumes to get it read once thank you is give the gift of forgiveness step number four meaning without them asking just gift it the step number four is God oh thank you so much step number three is God doesn't make mistakes we just call it God okay God doesn't make mistakes think about it you are like totally convinced that God must have been like I don't know maybe he was like distracted that day when you wound up in some horrible crash-and-burn relationship you know and he didn't protect you you know or he was distracted that day when some car like him shooting through a red light in his creamier you know like God just wasn't like he wasn't paying enough attention or so yeah he was busy I don't some group of and it's climbing a tree in the Amazon like had an aardvark coming up and God was busy missing God's not too busy for you God is running your seminar you're in a giant personal growth seminar and your job is to obviously get get yourself as cleaned out as possible so your energy is super clean and you only get clean stuff coming in your coming your way but until you're there you're probably gonna get all kinds of stuff until you surrender to the fact that you've got scrap eat without the s energy and you're attracting scrap without the S into your life okay and got your in God seminar God's God's world this is a this is a Simula simulated and you work vibrationally and if you're not clean you will have vibrational feedback coming your way and God set it up that way and there's no coincidences zero coincidences God does not make mistakes this place is with extreme precision everything's shooting across the room right now digitally hit your eardrum go into the brain the brain is just neurons firing or not firing which is ones and zeros really truly binary and everything's digital okay I lost my pin yeah we're gonna move faster now and number four is that that you must bless your enemies meaning I call it bless your enemies just cuz I heard it stated that way but but what it means is bless you need to bless them when you're feeling that resentment towards them you're you're you're all you're doing is creating more perpetrators in the world and I don't think you want that I don't think you're ahead in mind I mean you can't help but curse someone who harms you but now you've cursed that that person's not only harms you probably harmed others probably is harming oh there's n they got a curse from each one of them on them bless your enemies meaning meaning bless them what what you don't have to give them a blessing that they get a new Cadillac you give them a blessing that they have what's called in Hebrew a Rafa Salima still a blessing a reform it means a speedy recovery or a full recovery they should recover they should be healed they should meet the right people at the right times and heal their lives so that there's less harm happening in the world bless them and last but not least at least for today is is that it's crummy for you I don't have the right word for it it's crummy for you someone can help me with this one when yeah I'm sure you don't and what these crummy it's it's bad for you and walking around with resentment of others is just like yeah that's just not healthy stuff and it's also it's also makes you a bit of the victim and everyone knows like victims like people people who like to harm people love victims and so it's really crummy energy to to be walking around all day resentment of what people did to you because you're just gonna get more and more of that you know people in America there's a 1% there's a 1% chance of assault in America but if a woman is assaulted she should now have statistically like a - 250 million chance but now her chance goes up to 40% of assault once she's been a victim once and so when we hold on to stuff we ourselves have this we ourselves get kind of into victim mode it becomes our great excuse for never carrying on and and why we never tried again and etc etc and we just go into victim mode and we wind up with really lousy interactions because we're attracting just the right people just the wrong people for our vibrations meaning people are gonna be attracted towards those people like even today when I finished surfing I I told the guy that I drove part of my industry rabbi was so late I told the guy that I had a meeting with him so I met with him in the car to the ocean and in the car back so what I did i lock all my valuables in the car and everything I'm just wearing surf shorts and I told him when I'm done surfing I'll call you except where's my phone in the car where the keys with him because it's perfect I had someone to hold the keys he's waiting for my call the whole time until he finally put two and two together sit in some cafe in Ashdod that I'm not gonna be able to call him but anyway I left my surfboard in the shade of my car and went looking around the cafe's you know no one would be an idiot to leave their surfboard sitting by their car at Channel Islands from Santa Barbara a bunch of amongst a bunch of Israeli surf rats except for me and I sat there for a second do I put it down I candy for Israeli surfers would I go around the cafe's with my board you know is that well the right thing to do for most people is because they've been victims of thievery take it with you because you obviously have some stickiness of thieves on you and they sense you and they sense your stuff and they go after it I on the other hand can just lay my surfboard right here next to my car and I'll be back later and I went around for ten minutes to the cafes you think my board was there yeah bet it was there no one even probably even saw it because it has this invisible invisibility magical spell Shalom everybody Shanah Tovah and may God please forgive you specifically and everyone in general [Music] number five you