Tafkid Part 1

[Music] Shalom everyone and welcome to tkid finding your personal mission in the world and how to live it it's an amazing thing to me that I meet people all the time who have no idea what they're actually doing on planet Earth other than you know their Jewish Mission you know to say Yaba at the right times and and uh you know the basic Jewish lifestyle like that they've got and so many people and especially if you're raised very observant so many people were raised in a world where there was no such thing as a personal mission a personal tough kit unless of course it fit the big three which was Alim on the three things the world stands on which is T so you could be a that's a mission that was option option one option two you could be a shamish in a sh you could be you know getting a kids a kids uh you know group prayer group together you know whatever anything you did about vo was considered good tkit and the third is is to you know run some kind of a organization of somewhere something or another and you were in you know if you if you can get those three so it wasn't ble there you know and and the way the way the system really was was that was that the focus was on Survival you know the the last nail in the coffin the last nail in the coffin of Jewish Europe was the Holocaust and so the survivors if you want to call them that that's generous to call them survivors because you all know your grandparents like they're barely surviving but the the survivors their job was to show those Nazi bastards and rebuild communities rebuild the communities but when you're rebuilding Community you're focusing more on the infrastructure of the community the system of the community the the the educational system the the buildings the the just you it's all structural but human beings aren't structure we're not we're not institutions you're human you know you're a human being and so there's a whole there's a a vision of of of purpose within every individual and that's his tough kid in the world every person has a tough kid in this world and the arizal says that that everyone's tkid comes easy and everyone's tikun comes hard tkid comes easy tikun comes hard so what's a t t is what you're meant to do in this lifetime tikun is your your you know your difficult stuff that you got your Midas and your your uh you know Mitzvah that are particularly hard for you or could be part of your Tik who you marry and all that stuff could be part of your Tik kids you have are definitely tikin oriented but T supposed to come easy but no one knows what their tkin [Music] is a lot of people came to me over the years and they said they said uh Rabbi y you know I don't understand it I got this cousin he's going off the and he's like you know like really gone like G going the wrong way you know and and but I see hashem's just letting him goem letting him go he's even getting a and everything and he's like he's just he's going doing everything the wrong way and yet nothing seems to happen to him you know what I don't understand so I heard that many times and there are two answers one is that how can a guy do the wrong things and get braa and the answer is the answer is very simple is that wherever the Torah says there's it'sing it's of it's you know it's not so of all the stuff that will go wrong that's going to happen to Claus if we go wrong if enough of us go wrong there aren't 10 sadik anymore so all hell breaks loose you know and whereas if an individual goes wrong he's got his own TI it's a whole different story having to do you'd have to be a master of the arisol shulim to understand why everything's going good for a guy who's doing everything wrong it's about clus such a thing but then I had another thought and the other thought comes in a mush that every Jew is born with a hook in his mouth he's born with a hook in his mouth and hashem's up on the boat you know and uh and every Jews there hooks already in their mouth so if you see a guy go in the wrong direction Hashem is Hashem is totally patient you could say to Hashem hasem how can you be so patient over this guy and Sh would say what do you mean he's got a hook in his mouth no matter how far away he runs when he dies you know once the line goes limp you know he coming up on board and when the and when when you will be brought up on board hashem's going to have two questions I know he has other questions but he has two questions for us one question would be were you Jewish and the other question will be were you Jewish when he asks were you Jewish so you'll be like are you kidding me you know I was God's gift to Judaism and you recite all your famous words like and and maybe give him a little nishas of course I was Jewish and then he says were you ysh at which point you're like oh come on Boss nobody said anything about ysh what does yoush even mean and hasem says I created you with a purpose every person has a purpose and you were supposed to be living that purpose like there there were things that were supposed to happen in this world and we all know that famous story of the the kid who was overhearing his parents saying he was taking him out ofer cuz he just can't seem to get it and I forget what happened but in the end the kid realized that he's going to get upstairs and there were going to be certain books asked from him that had he just right I think what happened was he begged them to keep him in and that he would really try now and who is that the the oh that's funny because I live on so I live on so anyway beg them to you want to take him into his business right they want to take him into business so he said he's going to stay iner and and he uh in the end he said that that these books would he would have been asked about these books because these were were part of his ta was to put out those those SP that he put out and anyway so we all have a TK we're going to be going through the workbook together so let's begin opening on page one you'll see your table of contents I suggest putting your name somewhere and uh and turning already to page number two finding your god-given personal life mission in this world the goal of life is not happiness goal of life is not happiness and how many people are running around out there never happy you know occasionally happy but searching for happiness and and it's just happiness is elusive you know based on the weather is that going to be your happiness because it's a nice day or it's not too hot or because you're getting on a lot of parosa now you're happy I could show you a lot of people get a lot of paros not very happy and and so you know what's going to bring me happiness in life and the answer is that happiness is not the goal rather the true goal of life is having a meaningful life if you have a meaningful life you're going to have a happy life because your life was meaningful you know all the people out there those Generation X people the Millennials the that that got rid of God basically have serious issues with unhappiness serious issues with it why because if there's no God then what's meaningful what what would be meaningful the answer is well whatever you say is Meaningful but you're so Random you know if every person gets to make up what's meaningful so then yeah maybe if you're a gentile you could fool yourself for most of your life but if you're a Jew a Jew thinking he's he's going to be able to make up enough meaning to keep him happy a you it's not never will work and the reason that is is because a Jew is part of the collective subconscious Sinai experience meaning when it says um in in par that it says that those who are standing here today and those who are not standing here today that God makes the Covenant with why because everyone's masle was there everyone the shumas we at Hari which means every Jew throughout all of history has inside him a tremendous need for Tyra for harini it's in their hard drive so so as creative as you may be to make up what's meaningful in your life you'll never get anywhere close to what's inside your heart what's hiding inside your heart which is this great desire for true meaning for for meaning that's actually true not arbitr contrarily true because you think it's true but actually true absolutely true and so and so for that reason a juk can't go for anything other than real truth now since we know that meaning is what will lead to you having a happy life well you need to prioritize what is the most meaningful what's the next most meaningful what's the next meaningful next meaningful and just move your way up the up the pyramid because the top of the pyramid which is what why do we talk about pyramids because pyramids point they point and when you were a little tiny kid and you couldn't speak it yet you know what you started with pointing that you wanted that that cookie or you wanted something human beings point we point at stuff and when I point at something if I look at something and I point at that what it's at the sacrifice of everything else I could look at and if I point at something it's sacrificing whatever else I could point at there are other options to point at but once I point at something I'm saying I'm sacrificing everything else for that that's my priority that's what I want and so it's important to have a pyramid of meaning in your life now I'm not here to tell everyone what their pyramid should look like but I'm going to anyway um please look at at the book here on page two there you'll see a pyramid and you'll see see the five five levels of importance that will bring the most meaning so at the top of that pyramid is Hashem which in Tradition is an i at the top of a pyram there's a seeing eye the eye that sees and is not seen the seeing all eye the omniscient it's called in fancy English omnicient means all knowing the all knowing eye and and and that's Hashem at the top of the pyramid well think about it if you look at it you're T kids based for sure on the fact that Hashem put you here for that tough kid why would you have such a family like you think about my life had I I was such a progressive liberal environmentalist that I wouldn't have even gotten married because of you know it's irresponsible and certainly having kids you know okay maybe I would have had like 1.2 kid maybe you know two would be like more than the US average so so so meanwhile with my eight kids two of those are mine and six are hashem's because two of those kids I might have had statistically the other six are for sure from the words be fruitful and multiply puru which is straight from the tah so those so so you see that that families also what are all those kids doing there answer Hashem said so so the families all and and where's all our money go where's all our money go it goes to shabas for these you know you know go take loans like the weeks coming up to Thanksgiving to make such a meal we we're set up we make it every single week two meals two big Sumptuous feasts every single week bring on yont now we're going to we're going to take it the next step anyway but that's the family and we're investing in the family the whole time we're doing that and then life's Pleasures life's Pleasures are sure Hashem wants you to see the Alps you know he wants you to enjoy he lined your entire body with with nerve endings to sense pleasure to the ears with to hear this the beauty to see the beauty to taste the beauty to feel it to smell it like you're clearly lined with pleasure sensors and Hashem wants you to to do it he does not want you to do it instead of a Mitzvah he doesn't want you to do it instead of your tkit he doesn't want you to do it on the of your family but he wants you to do it sometimes I go to schitz and I'm with guys at schitz and I could tell those guys are avoiding stuff they're they're avoiding work they're avoiding family they don't have any idea what their tkit is and then the last one is your work your penosa and you need that to pay for it all first of all the top of the pyramid is very expensive having a tkid many people have to pay for their own tkit we'll speak at the end of the seminar tomorrow night we'll speak about how to monetize your mission like how to how to actually mon ize your tkit so you can actually make money off your T kit I do that like I I and by the way if you monetize your tough kid you'll never work a day in your life I've never worked a day in my life this is as close as I can get to working you know but I'm I'm sharing like my inner like desire to fulfill my tkit which is by the way to my tkit is the bridge I Bridge people to themselves to one another and to Hashem that's what I do so if you think about how you know me and you think about anytime we've been together anytime you'll see I'm always getting you in touch bridging you you in touch with yourself with your family and friends and Community or with AEM always those three that's what I do that's my topet and people seem to pay me for this which is uh great I'm mon ized it now I never have to work so I'm always in tough kid anyway but work is meant to pay for all these things but how many of us know plenty of people who have their pyramid flipped where where they you understand their their work has taken over everything they flipped the pyramid and so they got work at the top their doing stinks you know you see those guys in chw with their doing you know and they're to them you know they got their smartphones away at least till K shots and and they're they're doing pretty good yeah I I actually I think it's a good thing that they have the signs up not to take out the smartphone and ding because if there wasn't that sign you know but they're they're anyway they're doings next to not doing and many of them actually stop doing so their avoiders of Shem is is completely brushed aside they don't know where their Tate is as most people don't which is why we have this seminar and their families are completely ignored buying off their wife and kids with credit cards and and they they don't even remember their life's Pleasures you know I've asked guys you know in their Cadillac Escalade and I'm like I'm like come to schwitz and he's like schwitz yeah schwitz it's like what do you want me to sit in a hot box for a you know but what he's really saying is he has no connection to Life's Pleasures you know it doesn't it doesn't even compute to him to go to schitz with with the money he's making so what does he spend it on and the I guess on his Escalade you know that's that's that's his pleasure anyway but that's the question at the bottom here is does your work does your work Eclipse other priorities okay let's go to the other side page three so there are two games of life you got an inner Game of Life and an outer game of life if you're a possi graduate which I think everyone is here if you're a possi graduate so you did a lot of work on your inner game that was all about the inner game it was the world of being you know which might be worth adding to the book that the inner Game of Life is being while the outer Game of Life is doing now living your tough kid is doing possibly you is busy cleaning out the inner game it's cleaning out your inner stuff so that when you go do something you can do it from a clean place which is the outer game doing things from a clean place so the inner game is personal development the outer game is your tkit in now here's the thing um oh actually let's let's read make sure your mission is not a bluff why because well it goes on we have a misconception that if we have a strong public outer game we can mask our lack of coherent inner game a neglected inner game will eventually implode and expose us in our outer world for example think of politicians or movie stars humiliated in the tabloids or dead of an overdose on their hotel room floor your inner game is the key to vibrational cleanliness of your outer game and read that with proper syntax your inner game is the key to vibrational clean cleanliness and Longevity to your outer game meaning rock stars die when they're 40 I don't think any of us want to end want to you know lose our lives at 40 we want long lives but we also want a long outer game we want to make a difference in the world for many many years the only way you can do that is having a strong inner game and our wives are very good for those who are married our wives are very good at at calling our Bluff they're good at calling our Bluff so so expect to get busted if your inner game is not strong if you don't have a strong inner game and you've all been a about outer game which for most people is work because they don't know what their topkin is so the women are going to call the bluff you know and they're going to make trouble for you the way it works generally is men like chaos in business because you can't grow something without chaos Everything grows via chaos you have to have some semblance of order too too much chaos you're full of anxiety too much order you get bored and your business doesn't grow and so what do we do we take risks take more risk not too much risk you got to sleep at night but you take risk just enough to grow things but the the funny thing is about men is that we prefer our chaos at work and order in the house but what's the problem is we our wives want to grow the relationship they want to grow and they know the only way to grow things is chaos so Mr order comes home expecting her to keep order and she will throw chaos into his life to make the to make the couplehood grow so women will actually make chaos for their man in order to grow the relationship and my wife has put so much chaos in my life every time I want my home to be where order takes place she will throw chaos at it and I have grown so much in the relationship she's grown a lot but I've grown a ton because she never lets my inner game rot every time I'm trying to every time I go back to ignoring the house and expecting order there every time I go into that place she will mess it up and put chaos in my life a lot of people don't realize that this this program is a major shom bias program this is serious shom bias here because once you have a mission I mean think about it women are not happy to sacrifice for for pessa meaning to sacrifice time of their husband for pessa but tkid they'll sacrifice as much as you need so when it's about perosa they get very resentful when it's about tkid they're behind you all the way so for those of you who can't keep your cell phone down in meaning keep your cell phone out of the house so it just she gets more and more upset cuz she knows you're like back in business in the house tough K in the house it's a good example the kids see this man's on a to kid like having the cell phone out not not that you should have it out during dinner or time putting kids to bed but at least when you got it out you're involved with tkit please turn to page four and um and then we there we we have our macro and our micro Mission mixup so there's something called a macro Mission that's the Jewish people we have a big mission just open the Torah and you'll see that we have a lot of work to do we are an kesem for the world that hashem's name should be big because of us that's our big mission and then we have our micro Mission which is the ysh which is what you're here for what you're actually here on this Earth your purpose for having been on in this world something Gentiles would never mix up but black hattitude Jews over the last two centuries have totally mixed up every person has two missions one a macro mission to pass along tradition and two a micro Mission you were born to fulfill they are not in conflict and both need to be expressed fully there's no conflict between them they both need to be expressed a little history at the time of the Enlightenment Europe emerged from under the church and suddenly extreme individuality sprouted into the world the Jews who rejected the enlightenment shifted observant Judaism into a group identity movement at the expense of individuality this was further exacerbated after World War II as many of the observant survivors were psychologically disassociated as a result of the ritual torture these survivors trained a new generation in Judaism bereft of individuality individuality is the inalienable Hallmark of the biblical perspective Jews have taught the world such Basics the rights of the individual virtuales we all virtues we all hold today as self-evident ironically the communities who under any other style of government rule would have been expelled today enjoy the rights on the streets of America meanwhile the Mandate of personal mission is not commonly encouraged so this is a crazy irony is that the reason Jews just kept getting thrown out of one Society into after the other is because there was no Concept in those societies of libertarianism that every person should have the Liberty to live his life as he so chooses the right to the pursuit of of life life love purs what was it life liberty and pursuit of happiness The Pursuit Of Life no sorry life liberty the right the right to life liberty liberty yeah the right to life liberty and the pursuit of happiness and so what's so interesting is that we have these communities here who are taking full advantage of that while not granting their kids life liberty in the pursuit of happiness you understand it's it's wild it's a total irony you know it's like we can block all of 14th aveno outside bub of during Kish Lana and like have cars like trying to get around the the groups of Kish Lana like we're we're going to take full Liberty in our lifestyle but Meanwhile we're not going to allow the individuals in the group to to pursue their own individuality and that's this whole under 40 generation today is all the under 40s are like hell with that you know we're we're taking our lives back and and what's amazing is they really are like it's the no one seems to answer to anybody anymore and it's wild I mean I watched it all happen because I'm I've been watching the observant Community for 32 years and boy has it shifted in the last 10 years no one's asking anyone anything anymore and everyone's doing whatever they want and the the last grip they have is the education system you know if you don't X Y or Z you're not going to get your kid in hi that's that's the last grasp last grip but what's going to happen when this whole generation are in their 60s and they're the donors and they're the schools and they're the they're the m and they're the you understand then then the whole thing is going to the revolution will have finally completed you know cuz then you're not answering to anyone right now the only people you answer to as your schools that's it which is if now I doubt the leaders are thinking about it because the leaders are just wondering if people even respect them at all anymore but I wonder if they realize like the last level of control is just the schools at this point um by the way that's not withstanding that there are some like serious EUR in every Community who still are like constantly asking their Di and you understand they're they're speaking to the DI they're sitting at Tish they're they're in full Mur mode we all know people are living that way and but that's not the majority at this point you know the majority are doing whatever they want and and by the way many of those people are doing whatever they want are doing so with full yay and and learning storm and end with their daving and their V they're just taking their lives back from two generations of having lost individuality okay here we go now we got to get to work uh page six please and now we're moving into um into your to gate so you'll notice that this part's called finding your own voice the word for speaking in Hebrew lashes is mid the word for Wilderness is midbar it's the same exact word we see throughout the Torah that for someone to get NOA they needed to be in the midbar they were all Shepherds and we're always Shepherds what's unique about a Shepherd a shepherd's away from the city he's away from the town he's there's no voices in his head I maybe when he grew up there were a bit but now he's a shepherd and he's out in the mountains and the only voice he starts to hear after a while is his own and if he gets pure enough and clean enough and he's just really and true to himself fully and gets clear then hasem can speak through then he can become a vessel for NOA our V our own voice is very far it I don't even know if you could isolate your own voice the voice is is full of so many other influences so many other voices are in your head and it's important that in finding this I'm not expecting you to get n Vu but but we need to find a voice in inside you that really cares about something that's worth living your life for we have to hear your voice we got to we're looking for your not your we're looking for your T kid not a t kid but to get there we got to find your voice