Stop trying to change

spirituality glad you're here with us and uh enjoy enjoy the ride so uh introducing today we got over here this room looks so bad in the background oh my gosh on this Mela your friend so these are my St today the truth is uh I'm I'm happy to like just speak to you from the camera but it's it's like kills me to have to talk into a camera I just don't like doing it I mean if I have to I do when I'm in studio I do but otherwise I'm much more generated by human beings and so with the three of them sometimes I'll turn the camera towards you even though it's still on me because we're interacting keeps me uh interactive with everyone on the camera um there was a topic we were going to handle which was specifically happy oh yeah I'm being very careful of language of change there's certain language that's change language and the world lives in the world of change meaning everyone's trying to like go to sleep earlier eat healthier get up earlier learn more you know um whatever like it's it's a whole list of things that people are people motivated people yeah everyone's trying to be more do more say you know trying to do it they're just not good so what I'm going to suggest to you from oh also they they um a lot of people are postponing the change they want like how many of us know there's a change we want but we just push it off so that has its own language as well so the so change not only has an issue in that it's not the right Focus to change and it also has a issue of language and it also has an issue of procrastination that we push it off these are all issues with change so there's something much more powerful to do and that is to transform yourself transform your life instead of change so you transform yourself then you'll notice the things that you do change so focus on the deeper stuff because every person you see doing whatever they do it's because they're they're they're it's it's how they deal with other things so if you see someone overeating the changing by eating less that'd be nice except where are they going to be a month later overeating that's what happens that's the whole I mean I imagine you guys have gotten frustrated with Y kippers after a while where you do chuva you know you beat your chest over something you do and then uh you're a good boy for about three weeks and then you're right back to it so you know after a while you kind of get tired of your own Kipper because like who am I fooling here what is this a little is y Kipper a three-week thing or it's actually a new world for me a new life so that's why you beat your heart because the heart isn't what you do why why don't you beat your hands if you were stealing beat your hands you're look and stuff beat your eyes you you were hearing gossip beat your ears you know you you were eating not Kosher beat beat your mouth the why do you beat your heart because you're you're being that's the being that's like the inner self that and when I have an issue inside if I'm not well inside I I do out I do stuff outside to cover it up or to or to or to compensate for or or to um or to numb it or something like that and then what do people do they make resolutions on the outside without deing like what am what's really going on so when someone asked me should he quit smoking I said I don't know why you do that to yourself because you know you make yourself crazy for three weeks and then start smoking again or make yourself crazy for a day probably and what I would rather say to him is I'm more interested if we could figure out who's smoking who's smoking then we can talk about the smoking meaning who what kind of guy puts his mouth up to an exhaust pip multiple times a day and inhales carbon dioxide into his lungs I don't know what it is it carbon some kind of carbon you know definitely when you burn something there's carbon I don't know what it would be but you're breathing it into your lungs um so but the first thing you want to get rid of obviously the real work you want to do is get into the depth of what is going on inside of me that's causing all the doing instead of focusing only on the doing and all the change the whatever you change just going to come back to me the same thing again so rather focus on the being the being inside and do all your work there and you're going to cry because chances are most people when they go inside the being stuff of what they've been saying deep down about themselves in their hearts is going to be pretty painful stuff and it may even me need it may even require you to um dig up how why you started saying that in the first place you understand why meaning you may have to dig up a trauma and there's two types of trauma one's a lot easier to deal with than the other one that's easier to deal with believe it or not is the the big traumas you know big traumas like like a I guess the wor is usually physical like a rape or mestation is usually the biggest traa that's those are the easier ones and the harder ones are the what we call Little te traumas little te traumas are what everyone has it's like you know you got embarrassed there and then you got embarrassed there and then and then like uh whatever your your your family meals were were were unsafe and um uh you didn't it was your turn to read and you couldn't read in school or whatever or suddenly you get pulled out every day to go learn with a tutor privately and like you're just like guess I'm uh guess I'm a little off or whatever and and all those Litt te traumas harder to harder to get into there because it's lots of them and it's daily and it's like constant recurring traumas that are real mean no one's going to a therapist for those things that's all the healthy normal people They have a little teacher on us it's harder because harder because it's not as they don't they don't I didn't get molested I'm good man bad thing happen your whole experience whole experience and that's all the healthy normal people but you want to hear something interesting um the people with the big tea traumas when you put them in a healing let's say you're in a group doing healing work and it's now like the the time or the night or the day where they're going to go real deep with the group so all the people with the big tea traumas have more um have more they'll have more physical shaking and stuff because they're going they're doing real trauma therapy which means the all the stuff that went they went through in that big tea or multiple te's usually because once you have a vibration of of that kind of victim victimhood so perpetrators find you a mile away they can smell you a mile away I never meet people who only had one time that they were victimized by a person once it happens it becomes a vibration that perpetrators smell a mile away and they just come right for you and um and the so when you put them into a deep state which is what we do in the possible youth seminar um what you'll see is everyone even the little tea traumas have ex just as much emotion coming out no difference so the totally healthy normal guy who like everything's put together married with kids good pessa you know good livelihood everything's great driving a nice car and he's like he's good he's good there's no difference in the amount of Tears shed between the little T trauma guys and the Big T trauma guys there is a difference though in their bodies the the Big T trauma di will have a lot of shaking going on so I'll have a staff member near the Big T guy to just be around for all the shaking and uh and to keep his breath so he doesn't go in full panic attack or something because you got to you can't you can't you're not going to last very long going you know how long can you do that until you pass out we we don't want the guy passing out we want him rolling through the process and so so they'll have someone near him to monitor the Big T guys and we don't always know who the Big T guys are and crazy thing is the big tea guys don't always know who they are it's crazy like they they don't always know they disassociated or it was or it was a preverbal time like they weren't even within the realm of where memory starts but whoa they some once in a while someone just goes there and that the Big T guy who didn't even know and so then I dispatch a staff member to go be just go sit next to that guy you know like just be there and and just so you know if you're ever in such a situation and you're and you're with someone who's processing you don't touch them while they're processing because it's such a comfort to get an a hand on your back or on your heart when or shoulder or something it's such a comfort that they stop the process and they have to come back and do it again or whatever like you just ruin their process so don't touch them the if you're not in a healing situation and someone gets triggered to that level of of intense release and it's just not appropriate and it's like you don't want to be calling an ambulance for this guy so then you do touch them and you get eye f eye contact with them and then you bring them to the breath your breath you choose them choose a choose a um a uh ketsup I'm looking for the word KET a rhythm a rhythm of breathing that you feel would be the slowest well like most uh Baseline breath and then you make them match you and it's going to take some time till they can do it because they're I'm sorry oh [Music] yeah yeah yeah you can do it nonverbally and you can do it even with just eye contact and you can do it with touch to bring them back but uh but when their breaths going out of control it's worth working with their breath so so what do those counsels do that just they the main thing is they know someone's there they because they can go much deeper knowing there's someone right next to them like they're not going to die here someone's got their eye on them you know there's usually not a lot of light in the room at that point so they're like oh gosh who knows who knows I'm going through this even so they know that there's that in here and the um it's amazing how deep you can go knowing someone's keeping an eye on reality you know like all we need to know is someone's someone's in charge here and and then you can just totally let it go something you wouldn't do on your own you know and um or should you know on your own PR the so back to change is that the whole world's hooked on change it's like a billion dollar industry you know these diet plans and this plan and that plan and and the you know the smoking plans and the yeah the gyms and everyone's trying to get their act together with the doing as oppos to focusing on the being on the real inner world that's where that causes all the doing so so there's language of change and I'd like to bring up a couple words of change language that you guys might want to get rid of these words from your vocabulary because no one should be saying these words like these are inappropriate words to be saying um so some of those words I like to go in this order while you're remembering the words why you laughing no said the word I said oh so some of those words are yeah we got to this topic because Michael was with had said one of the words he talked about I think being more happy yeah right so one of them is the word more more is um and more and less by the way like to be to be less judgmental like sounds like a nice thing right except what does it mean what does it actually mean it means being judgmental just less than you were yesterday but you're keeping you're making sure judgmental stays there being more accepting means judgmental as well but you don't even get it because you're so busy using this language type of person just trying to move yourself along the spe the negative or whatever Spectrum you're on yeah you're on this negative Spectrum so I'd like to be more accepting which means I don't accept almost anyone but now a few more people maybe could get within the realm of being accepted by me um people will use the word like healthier would you like to be healthier no you want to be healthy right would you like to be happier no I want to be happy happier means I'm sad you get that so we don't even realize like I'm saying you know and people do this all the time you know Avis who knows how much money they PID a marketing firm Avis rental cars spent money in a marketing firm that um they try harder so try is one of the worst words of change try is the word that no one gets the second you say the word try you're not going to do it you know when someone says they're to try to meet you there you don't wait for them they're not coming you know TR is one of those like there's only one circumstance you can ever use the word try there's only one time try is a kosher word to be used and that's when you're out of your debt you know you're totally over your head you know like someone Taps you on the shoulder and says um you know you're on an airplane and the stus Taps you on the shoulder steart Taps you on the shoulder and says um hi both Pilots are unconscious now they may be dead um I looked around the whole plane and you can look around too you're basically the only person who's going to possibly land this thing you can say I'll try because you don't how to fly jet you certainly don't know how to land one so then you can use the word try but any other time you've been using the word try is not koser stay away from the word I don't try can you try to lift that cup please can you I can you cannot you cannot lift that cup here let's practice what's your name again laser laser oh yeah I know your name laser try to lift that cup no you lifted it try again try to lift the cup try to try to lift the cup right you know where the trying to is on my way to it my brain you weren't trying at all there was no trying you were just doing it you're either trying or you're doing you were just doing so let's say I'm trying to tell someone that I'll try to do something if I commit myself to do it then I'm actually committed to do it and if it's not something that if you if you commit yourself to do something you just do it that's my question and if you didn't and if you don't do it you were not Comm if you don't do it you were not committed try to succeed say it again maybe I use the word try I'm trying to communicate that I don't know I'm going to succeed even if I do meaning I'm going to do whatever I can do I just don't know if it's going to work so I don't want to see think it's going to work exactly which would be like Landing a plane like we may crash but let's say coming on time I plan on being I would say that I would say I plan on being yeah but but the thing is is if you are truly committed to being somewhere on time if you're truly committed to it I would I would bet you I would bet you a 100 bucks that you'll be there on time I would bet you 100 bucks but 100 bucks You' be on time 100 bucks would help us in and of itself itself what' you say so basically you always have to be committed not always just if you if you between where I'm not ready to be committed to do something and I'm only ready to try to do it there's no people do that but they don't get a lot of results okay so something I'm not ready to get a result for then you yeah then youon yeah he may may not he may or may not but but so you're bringing up a whole other topic which is is committed there's no more trying once you're committed you don't try to do something you either do it commit it or you don't do it and you're not committed but once you commit that's the once you're committed like fan where you don't even have to try you're going to be there it when happens is you get LSD which stands for large Satay otherwise known as Big heaping amounts of divine assistance you get lots of assistance from heaven now you might say wait wait the thing I committed to do is like overseas which means everything's got to work the taxi to the airport the the or the train to the airport the taxi the the ticket people inside the the flight has to not get delayed and the so many things have to happen happen in other words and so you might say well I can't commit to things where other people are involved right because so much has to happen that's where sat is is that when you yes commit you got to practice this meaning you got to develop to be the kind of guy that when he commits to something the whole world just starts moving accordingly and the way you by and how do you do that by practicing commitment like get all in on stuff and when you get all in on something the world actually starts cooperating planes that were delayed suddenly they're like oh you know what I'm on the wrong plane the guy who said he had to change something just like whatever his wife called him while he was coming by the planes and your plane got delayed because he had to changeed Something in when he got on the plane and checked the serial numbers he's like what am I doing on this plane and then they're like oh plane's not delayed and and it turned out that the whole thing was a mirage and really now the plane's leaving on time and now everything's going to work accordingly people actually lose their free someone on your plane that's that's not trying that's committing people lose free will people lose free will a little bit when you're committed to something and suddenly stuff starts moving crazy stuff happens all the time and uh I want to hear funny things since we're talking about planes because um you I always when I was on planes I no one really likes flying I mean we're not necessarily scared of it but feels a little better on the ground than shooting through the air in a giant metal tube at 700 miles hour at 30,000 ft like to be down here preferably not a very Human Experience it's not very human but I'm just talking about as far as safety it feels better to walk down a sidewalk than it does to be shooting through the air people are a little on edge up there and the um so when I was once on a plane I saw a big rash Shiva get on the flight and oh actually it was from North weberg and uh and I was like this plane is not going down you know like definitely we're not going to have let r no Weinberg died in a plane crash so I just like relaxed so did a lot of other people so I said to myself in the flight I said I want to I want to get to the level in my contribution to the Jewish people and to the world that when I get on a plane people are relaxed like that's a goal of mine that I want to so contribute to the world that a plane crash is not going to be the end and and um and that people can relax on the flight so many years ago I don't know how many years ago maybe 20 years ago I got on a flight and someone said in his cabin there were a bunch of New Yorkers there and they're like this plane ain't going down if y's on this flight and so it was like really really cool really cool oh I think we have a Christian uh who is this oh this guy's name is King of the Earth the king of Jerusalem has a single question for you why lie about worshiping Lucifer I don't even know what that means what's the devil devil called oh asaros that is that is that a sh could be a it could be a English speaker's version of which is a tree of idol worship called Hashem why lie of the name dude I don't know what you've been smoking man but I'm not reading any more comments after that I mean at least you're not yours and no offense to I just were in the middle of a class so that's just you know you can't write such an off topic thing that made no sense expect me to to actually pay any attention to it um uh he was whatever he quoted some Aran judges I we don't know English I guess as well as you we also don't um um we we don't really learn we don't learn the Bible in English um so moving on the um as far as as far as commitments concern is could it be the same thing meaning could it be the same thing that the reason everyone relaxes when you get on a plane is because you're making such a contribution why are you making such a contribution who says because you laser decide you're going to make a contribution to the world it's going to do anything and the answer is Commitment if you're fully in and you're fully committed to it it's going to make a difference big time Big Time and the reason everyone's relaxing on the plane isn't because you're not because the plane's not going to crash the reason they're relaxed is because a guy who's that committed has he has Divine assistance and that plan's going to make it because he's going somewhere in a committed fashion and that's where the magic happens so there is no try there's only committed and so you start to change your language so listen to these words gonna try become more or less better the suffix e healthier happier all of those things stop saying just wipe out of your vocabulary catch yourself every time you use language of change every time you use that that's called language of change try that just say remember it say language of Change Change yeah stop using language of change and just because it's not what it's not committ yeah but it's it's a unconscious sabotage to keep you not growing where's the real growth we spoke about it where's the real growth transformation of what of my my inner self my inner being doing the inner work of my life and then watch the other stuff change naturally and tell me if you don't do your inner work in the heart of you know your inner stuff if you don't do that work how hard is change it's extremely hard extremely hard and not only is change extremely hard it doesn't work in the end because you're back to it three weeks later you're back to whatever you were doing you're still you so well it's not you you here you're still that guy you're still that guy you're still that guy doing that so the um it's much more powerful to do your inner work which isn't easy it's also hard but at least when you're done with the inner work and you transformed yourself from dark to light the change comes change comes naturally you don't have to try what's the proper way to I want to be healthier I'm healthy I'm yeah so so he brought it something powerful it's like am I supposed to say I'm healthy like the guy's in the middle of a bronchial uh he's got like you know he's falling apart you know or he's got no money what is he supposed to say he's wealthy the guy's broke what are you supposed to say so so the answer to what you do say you have it gu it starts getting new on you got to be careful so for example to say you're wealthy is a joke if you're not wealthy but you could say I'm a I'm a person of abundance and now you have nothing you have no money but you got other things you could give because people who are abundant are generally able to you know they're beneficent they're they're uh magnanimous with themselves and so okay I don't have any money but I I got other things I could get and so start giving those things and then you're a man of abundance you're not lying man of abundance if the guy's suffering a bronchitis he's healthy he just happens to have a localized issue in his bronchial tubes and so he's he's healthy I'm a healthy man yeah oh guy has something going on in his bronchial tubes well sticking with that healthy Man by the way if you let's say the guy does have a bronchitis he's saying he's healthy what do you think his chance of getting better quicker as a healthy man are first of all you got just the vibration of I'm healthy that's a good thing to have in your body and I don't know how magical yeah I don't know how how good that vibration will work for him but I'll tell you one thing healthy people when they have bronchial infection sleep longer unhealthy people meaning people who see themselves as unhealthy to begin with um will still cheach sleep in the middle of a bronchial infection in the middle of a bronchitis they'll cheat sleep a healthy person is going to be drinking lots of fluids no sugar no processed foods during their bronchial infection because I'm a healthy guy whereas the unhealthy guy will still be eating junk food during this bronal infection you get what I'm saying so it's not just the magical thing that I'm saying I'm healthy and it might well create healthy vibration in my body and get rid of the bronchitis but it's a you understand it's a it's an approach that healthy people have to living I have a comment it's not a question but yeah it made me think of it way you were just I spoke to a woman like a month ago she told me her whole life she had serious autoimmune disorders a physical ailment yeah and always had issues with it then she drank iasa and totally cured the totally totally cured her autoimmune disorders and they're studying her now at some University oh great but it seems like that affected her uh identity and yeah true yeah the um so e e for