Stop Escaping

Shalom everyone and welcome back to practical spirituality here at basem in n n is a state of mind now the um today's today's session is about discomfort that happens inside our hearts with areas of life that we're not good at no person wants to be um engaged in the areas where they're challenged and especially kids meaning as adults we all know that we've got to enter the challenging areas for ourselves if we're ever going to develop ourselves and some stuff you have no choice like for example um your finances you're going to have to have some level of of uh of um literacy um just to pay your bills I mean I me you could try what we did we just had a bunch of kids and we gave each one of them a different job you know as far far as handling Israeli bureaucracy and and all those things I mean we just kind of relied on our kids to take care of us all these years and the but again that's not so appropriate either because then your kids kids shouldn't see parents fragility that's like one of the reasons why parents Never Smoke in front of their children um meaning Smokers smoke secretly so as not to rip their kids off from the chance to have Superman as a father because parents are a Superman and Superwoman is it Wonder Woman Superman and Wonder Woman and and you need to have at certain points of your childhood a sense that your parents are like Invincible you know they're they're invulnerable to the world and and that they're okay I got a great example of someone who's just powerful so for that reason it's really important that kids never see a father in a Tiva and there's no greater TAA than smoking cigarettes cuz nicotine will just get someone to um nicotine will just get someone to um can you sit on the side of that guy this right on the other side of him you can choose switch chairs if you really love but I need someone right there yes perfect especially that face and that smile so so and nicotine is just such a vice you know and and we can convince ourselves over of anything I I I once was in the Su of the pinc rebi and this this guy was clearly uncomfortable with the situation you he's an introvert and there were a lot of people and a lot of scene and so he tells me he tells me uh I just need to go get some fresh air and I'm like were we indoors you know like the's like 40 feet up you know fresh air he used it as I need fresh air okay what he really was saying was I'm uncomfortable I'm having social anxiety and I need to go be by myself a little bit but he said I need to get some pressure anyway so after about 20 minutes I went outside and I found him smoking a cigarette that's his fresh air you know the filling his lungs with smoke was this fresh air anyway um we we as as adults we know we got to go to the areas of where we're weak if it's mad if it's money if it's if it's um uh learning a profession if it's a part of Torah like for example you guys all know that when it comes to gamarra some of you veered towards Bas and and some of you were able to stay with IUN but every Yeshiva with few exceptions has IUN in the morning andas in the afternoon and but as you no longer under the thumb of a Yeshiva hanala you start to notice do you stick with the or are you really now a Bas guy and why and the reason is is because the Eun learning to learning talud in depth is a constant reminder that you're an ignoramus it's a constant reminder that you don't know what in the world you're doing and the reason is is it because our sages set it up such that the actual piece you're learning is filled with more questions than answers and why so that you would ask those questions you got to ask the right questions and there's more questions more questions more question more questions and then eventually if you asked all the right questions and then answered those questions you'll discover that had you not asked those questions had you just learned it pus had you just learned it like you'd read read it you know for the Sharia you would never ever have gotten to what they were trying to say you would never have gotten and everyone who's learned beun anyone who's learned in depth like that has always marveled at the fact that this is what they wanted you to know the whole time meaning when you read that page of gamorra okay they want you to know the sh but they wanted you to know something that would have only come to light with the questions asked but the problem is is to ask that many questions is to admit you don't understand what is a question if you ask me a question you're saying I don't know something and if you do that in public your public admitting your ignorance this is one of the big issues of people raised uh in the black hattitude community you know in the in the community is that the girls are well trained in the ways of the world the boys on the other hand have been really just given gamorra to learn for many many many years now they're 18 now they're if they got if they're sish they're already getting married if they're lfish maybe not yet but they um but compared to their counterparts in the workforce force of you know the Gentile Workforce they know nothing now who wants to admit such a thing who wants to admit that nobody so what happens is they all pretend they know everything and how many young cidic young men are walking around the streets of Jerusalem you know at learning at the mirror but they walk around as if they know you can see in their body language like they they got it all worked out you know they got it all wired why because they don't want to admit that they don't know they're behind from their elbow when it comes to the world they don't know anything and to ask but here's the crazy thing you can't ask because the second you ask you just expose the fact that you don't know it you're breaking up the whole system now no what I'm saying is that I'll tell you the answer but what there's one more step though and what it does is it relegates them to a life of Hustle what's a hustler a hustler is someone who figured out one place he could hustle without getting exposed for the fact that he doesn't know anything else that's a hustle and so it it it leaves them to a life of hustling whereas had they been able and willing to become beginners true beginners the way that's why I'm talking about gamor the way learning gamar in depth causes everyone learning it to be a true beginner every time he open opens it a total ignoramus it makes you into ANS every time you open it and if you can just somehow persevere through the piece that made you feel like such an ignoramus if you get through and ask the right question and ask and ask and ask and ask you'll get to what the sages were saying in the first place what they were trying to tell you so the answer is to your question I'm not here to break up anything what I'm here to say is that ask be the beginner be the beginner everywhere you go be the beginner you're going to make a difference you're going to make a move ask you want to buy a property ask a lot of people about that property or about the the conditions that the bank's giving for the loans or whatever ask ask ask you want to get married and you got a girl in mine ask 20 people what they think about this about the the match ask ask ask don't stop asking never stop asking and you want to know what's gonna happen if you just start and never stop asking about everything just ask and ask and ask and ask you know what'll happen if you do that when you're a little older like 50 60 70 you know what's going to happen everyone's going to ask you everyone's going to ask you you're going to be the person that everyone asks which is very interesting so you're going from like ignoramus who so doesn't want to ask because that would expose me to the guy who asks everything to then becoming the person who is a Clearing House of information why because if you spend 10 20 30 years asking about like really asking a lot a lot of advice you will become the storehouse of answers for people who need and I when I married my wife I must have asked I don't even know how over 20 rabbis for fullon one hour meetings full-on one hour meetings and getting married it's like that's 20 hours 20 different very insightful rabbis to discuss it with them and and it was you know that's just the way I roll it's the way I always roll but I always was a beginner and I still am a true beginner and I ask and I ask and I ask and I ask and I ask so I'm telling you guys like just keep asking and yeah you're going to feel like a fool you're going to feel exposed you're going to feel like an ignoramus but but what's going to happen when you ask people they're going to answer and just one more thing about about asking is if any of you guys want to make a lot of money in a particular field uh the way to go is go to someone who mastered the field and became like a millionaire and is now I would like to say 60 years old or older 60 in O and ask him if he would take you out for lunch and you'll what you'll see is that he is desperate to share everything he learned he's desperate to share everything he learned because he realized now he made his money and his kids hopefully still know his name from all his workaholism his sons most likely are not that interested in his advice like most Sons and and here he has this young whippersnapper who's in his 20s or 30s who's really interested in what he learned on his way to the top and what will most likely happen is he'll take you under his wing and show you everything he knows and if he really trusts you and he feels you're that much of a beginner in your approach meaning if you Trea yourself as that true beginner likelihood he'd even take under his wing and get you started very likely ask don't stop asking okay so now we're going deep ready here we go that was all introduction as adults I'll say it again as adults we know that we got to face the areas of life we're undeveloped in right is that can I get a pop pop yeah we got to develop that give a pop this the first time I've ever done this by the way meaning where we use the word pop po instead of raise your hand if you agree or you know so give a pop okay there's a reason why by the way why are we saying pop because there's one there's very few things in the world that when you heat them up they don't expand so very few things in the world like that everything you heat up expands no matter what metal expands you know hard objects expand when you heat them glass expands like everything expands the one thing that doesn't expand when you heat it up is a popcorn which is how it got its nickname what kind of corn is it it does not expand it just gets to a point where it's like whoa fin pop you know and it goes from this like yellow hard kernel that would break a tooth to the most delicious fluffy snack where you can eat a whole bucket of it and like still walk away you know and so why do we say pop because every Insight you get is is is just an oh they're all mini pops little PE pops come into big Pops in our life and so each one of us is a yellow hard popcorn kernel each one of us is we're all so scared of certain areas of ourselves of the world that were very resistant and what happens though is as we gain an insight as we gain more lessons as we grow we eventually just become this gorgeous fluffy light popcorn and we're all going that way but it comes from all the pops give a pop so so we've been we know as adults we got to go in those areas but here's the you ready kids kids kids who are like not even yet come on in kids who are like not even in the my angle the doors I don't get to see who actually opened it so I don't know if they're Hebrew speakers you know was that a Hebrew speak so anyway kids when you were a kid you already you already sensed you already sensed the areas of your life that were not your strong points everyone take a moment you know actually close your eyes a moment everyone close your eyes a moment think back to Childhood maybe go to school classroom or could be in your home but preferably outside the home maybe a classroom or maybe the playground but I want you to sense right now what area of life was the part you were going to avoid so that you could somehow shine in another area what was that area what was that area that was U your challenging area go to that spot see if you can see that now focus on the area you shine where did you shine was it socially was it Sports was it scholarship where did you shine and now open your eyes and look at your life today and you'll see that you're still just the the steering wheel just moves towards that area where you shine and and it's like you just you you don't look you don't look over not looking over there you want to look that way because if I if I I don't want to look that because if I look that way then I have to be exposed again again to the area where I don't shine you get that even though now as adults we know we got to look that way we got to look where we don't want to look and we have to develop it otherwise we're just going to be so lopsided I we're just going to be lopsided people and assuming we're any we got an example of a kid where the stuff you just didn't want to look at we are we all still kids that's well isn't that what I just said really is that we're still looking we're still going where we shine and avoiding certain areas and and just going to where um you find anyone want to give it I'll give it a personal example very quick go ahead what's yours I mean I'm not sure true I probably sports but before I came to Isel I started actually a lot better so I know when I was IED Sports a lot I got it and where did you shine yeah socially you shine soci someone else got an exam I son I was miserable inar right I shined in cycling that was my that was your goat like that was my uhhuh uhhuh amazing now I'm confronting that yeah I have my bike here it's in the states right they do have bikes here but I'm glad you're no I'm glad you're confronting it that's what we have to do and and I had a similar thing to you was uh classrooms were not my friend I did not do well in the structure of of school growing up and I went to sports and the and that was where I shined you now here's the point is that we wind up going to that thing that we shine and we don't want to look over there now I'd like to share with you guys that the place where you shine basically it's love me for that well only if it's I don't want you to see that me right but you're already found sports or this or that to get people to love us as opposed to knowing we right well you your first name again MOS Moshe Moshe you're you're a human being that's specifically others focused and so you're see you see the world in that they should love you we weren't even there we weren't even there but that's a very important in but isn't that what you're saying is that you're saying is we shine and we don't want to look somewhere else isn't that the explanation of what you're just saying why are we shining and not wanting to look at something else because we're using The Shining to avoid what we're weak at exactly exactly but the uh but you you put it already in a social uh uh acceptance place which is exactly what I would do because I see the world like you do and and so I under the bus no I'm with you under I'm under the bus with you I I I had the worst social anxiety person ever met the only reason the Poss use seminar exists was because the doctors were going to cut my my kishkas out they were going to cut my colon out because everyone knows give a pop if your stomach gets a little tight when you have to show up socially well it can get so tight that it that it just becomes no useless it becomes unusable doesn't digest anymore what age you that the time they're going to cut my kishkas out I was 33 which is the year of the possib began because it was my breakthrough that I was the Insight I had nothing like going into surgery than getting Insight which made me avoid the surgery I got to BR keep my digestive system but uh there's nothing like you know there's no atheist in a foxhole you know you're when you're about to get killed or surged so you get insights and that Insight created the possible you so my stomach issues which were social anxiety issues um have now we're at 14,000 graduates so on in six cities like 70 people working so it's like it all started with me buckled over in the bathroom the whole thing was just me buckled over in the bathroom with the sound of music at some social event coming through the walls yeah it was rough but BR I healed my stomach my stomach's now like amazing you know what well I could go into it but it's not for now I don't mind sharing that but not right this anyway the um you know I was thinking is we should do a Kaneka night together where I'll take the whole group on some crazy Journey one of the candles you like that idea we should do that one night go on a real serious journey together so so we have to discuss what who I'm always anytime it's y I'm in y anytime it's including like my whole schedule revolves around tubish I do a 12- hour food meditation every tubish straight 12 hour 12 hours straight 12 food Med anyone been in my tubish fer he was there what' you think still you ever experienced anything like that in your life there people fly in for it people fly in for it this year they brought a brisker um MH were you in this year's one were you there last year they because after night seder it fills with like 30 40 brisk guys and uh fine but this year they brought one of their M and sat him right next to me in the M you know what he said the next morning these were his words me he says I've been to a lot of spiritual events that weren't so H I've been to a lot ofic events that weren't so spiritual but he says I've been sitting next to you for the last six hours you know cuz it came late said I've I've never experienced such a spiritually spiritual and alic uh event in one location I mean it was like it was like because he's he's sitting next to me he's watching I'm making because we have to make bras over and over and over and over again but you can't make a so I have to thread the needle where you're doing each bra is two minutes long to get toam just to get to the word haam is 2 minutes people are flying I mean this is like you're you're not in your body by 2 in the morning you're no longer even in your body for this Tu he got there like midnight or something or one I think he got there anyway anyway the whole tubish Senter ends in the mfo by the way everybody my neighbors are like what the hell's going on in here and I because we do a whole thing about how to get in hot water many people never got in water that hot and so I I do a little coaching before but right before the mikah we dance in the whole entire group dances around the arry to give to the arov Tre for we have a whole we do the whole ESR you guys have know the ESR do the whole it's a whole night but I bless y'all to come to to this it's you know the truth is we can do it in there just like nothing and no one else is going to be in here till s in the morning we could do Shak um anyway the um so here's what I want to share with you the place you shine can either be a broa or it can be your Achilles heel can be your um your weak point the place you shine so like you shined in sports you signed socially I signed I shined in sports and socially although my stomach was dying while I was shining socially um you all know where you shine right you know where you shine what do that me shn itach it was it was a mask yeah it was total hey it was a total um uh Strate it was a strategy my social interaction where I would like completely blow everyone away in the in the at the party meaning people would thank me for my whole life people thank me for these big La parties giant parties and they would thank me in the morning or whatever 2: in the morning 3 in the morning they would say thank you so much it was a great party we loved it and I'm like why are you thanking me you're like you're not our host and I'm like I don't even know who the host is these giant La parties you know and like well you you're the one who greeted me at the door you introduced me like five different people I said I didn't know any of those people I introduced to I had met them earlier when and I only met you but I saw you by the door you looked uncomfortable and and that's just how I rolled but it was all strategies it was just strategy I was dying in some dying cover your own social my own terrible terrible fear of rejection yeah anyway um let's get back to our business so check this out wherever you shined is your escape and wherever your escapee is is where is where your weaknesses and where your addictions are and where your inability to face the parts the places you need to grow this is getting heavier we're talking wait I thought that's where I shine did you just rain on where I shine like did you you just like eclipse the sun did you just bring in a cloud cover I thought that's where I shine where you shine is where you escape and you're escaping something where are you escaping what are you escaping you're escaping the places where you needed to develop yourself you're escaping the places that you needed to develop Yourself by shining in places you shine the dangerous thing is we give that up to develop ourself who's to say we'll make it out a lot right right well you'll notice something this is only your second class with me mosha but you'll notice that I always put you in jail and then I always get you out so so we're just we just took this jail pretty I mean we just basically put a extra lock on the jail which just now how long is the jail time last in this room today short very sh but I just want to give you the layers of the cake here okay let's get the layers let's get the outline here we spoke about when we were kids there was areas we just areas that didn't come naturally to us so we went and shined somewhere else as adults we're still shining right there we're just big kids still shining right there still avoiding the areas that we haven't developed and and we are but it's become our Escape when it's our Escape that's our weakness that's our addiction that's our um exactly what's in the way of ever developing the other side not a great example to kids um not causing our wives to be sensing a powerful vibration in us which is the key to them being able to surrender as women into the relationship meaning all of our wives are meant to be surrendered into into our love in they're surrendered into love that's our goal as as married men but if I if she keeps seeing you in your Vice which might be a beautiful thing it might be very social or might be sports or you know it might be uh learning but if she sees that that you are escaping she senses the the weakness and then she she she loses her own life because we're the Sun and she's the moon and we're were causing her to shine or not if we're in Escape mode even though she's seeing you being successful right she could right and you and she doesn't buy it that's how you know women are very you know they're very instinctual so she you could be very successful in fact the place you shine might be exactly what causes her to be able to use a credit card to buy all her nice stuff and now she's driving around an SUV and stuff but she doesn't respect it and remember it always goes like this resp respect brings attraction respect and attraction they always go together respect and attraction respect in church a woman can respect a man who doesn't want to look at his challenges and but when a man does look at his challenges and all you married men raise your hand if you're married here just so I get a feel married so the married men know that when when you're have you ever noticed how excited those who are married have you ever noticed how excited it gets your wife when you make even baby steps in areas you're not good at they get so excited meaning let's say you're not good at building a Suka let's say you're not good at building suas you know you're not a Hands-On guy but you build the simplest Suka in the world and your wife knows that that was to do that even though like a 11-year-old could have built that you know what I mean they're two myws are like very old Builders I like the first time I built like the smallest thing she like whoa right and you did nothing right and they they get excited because they see you're facing Your Dragon and that's a theme a mythical theme in life is to face your dragons dragons are little it was just a little thing you did dragons are little you know what makes big fire breathing dragons you know what makes big fire bringing dragons look away from them they grow turn this way they start get getting really big it gets harder and harder to turn around and slay it with your knife a woman so deeply respects a man who slays his dragons even as Tiny as they are I mean I could put together the silliest thing in the world I could fix the shower head holder the shower head holder my wife knows me in my hands with handiwork is just not a match it's we're just not a match but if she sees me just take out the drill and put in the shower head holder it's like she's married to to Mr Fix It hopefully there won't be any fights in the parking lot over there was there one yesterday was a lot ofy there was one a few days ago I you have such a clear mind in your struggles and your strength I like have a hard time figuring out like come through yeah figuring out my things I run away from I like just totally avoid I don't even know that I'm avoiding it you know it's like that's a lot of work also oh yeah figing out yourself basic very hard yeah well if I knew right now like this is my strength is my weakness is so that'd be a lot more helpful easier to practical you know what to do with it then it's worse to right right you got to be able to get out of jail not just see the bars so yeah we do get us to that point and show us how to struggle and and we look up to the people who have mastered those things yeah um regarding the blind spots the stuff we don't know that we don't know it's very hard to know stuff that you don't know you ever thought about stuff you don't know that you don't know it's the biggest blessing that we don't meaning for example Chinese I know there's a language called Chinese and I know I don't know Chinese but how about the the fact that I don't know the stuff that I don't know that's just Unity right but if it's within me that's a problem I we need access to that well there are hints there are definitely hints and the hints are is that God set up this planet to be a feedback mechanism so let's just say for example um you get in arguments meaning people argue with you people argue with you and I'm not talking LMA meaning you're you're having a lot of arguments so if you're having a lot of arguments that's a hint from AEM that's a feedback mechanism that that somehow um I'm not at peace because someone at peace doesn't get in a lot of arguments let's say someone's being abusive verbally abusive meaning they're just they just can't stop dumping their garbage on you well that's another hint because if someone's dumping their garbage on you that makes you a garbage can so what about me is where people should dump they're garbage so so by looking at the world around you God created this world as a feedback Universe you understand it's a feedback universe and the and the world is feeding back to you the the hints that you need to know the areas that you got to grow in okay let me get youall out of jail though ready you can actually do the stuff you shine in but you need to have a little shift a shift of mental shift and what is that mental shift you have to move it from Escape to rejuvenate from Escape to rejuvenate meaning I could ride my mountain bike as an escape or I could ride it to do what you probably think I'm doing I'm rejuvenating I'm like I'm charging my batteries rejuvenate Escape rejuvenate some of you chose to be into learning like that's your Escape no make it be where you charge your batteries that's where you charge your batteries not your skin you don't have to actually change anything keep shining keep shining exactly how you've learned to shine in this world keep shining that way but you got to make a shift and the shift is from Escape to rejuvenate let's look what Escape looks like let's look what rejuvenate looks like and then we'll call it a name Escape looks like this okay now what I want to share with you I wish I had a whiteboard maybe I'll start bringing in a whiteboard but what whiteboard might scare us off like class I know it's so helpful especially in this in this particular case whiteboard would be very helpful but but the um I'm going to have over here life a life B okay life a life B life a is all the stuff you got to do and life b is all the stuff you want to do okay it's the stuff you got to do and the stuff you want to do life a is uh bills marriage children work um doing uh learning like you know it's all the stuff you got to do let's just say a minimal of learning you know stuff you got to do and life B is where you shine so we spoke about that already like it's the stuff you I should have done the opposite way I'm G to go because this was a place we didn't want to look I don't know well just go like this so life B is where you shine so life B for me is my mountain bike I'm on my surfboard I'm I'm I'm enjoying a beer on chabas I'm screaming my guts out in Carlene okay that's my life B that's where I shine and life a is my wife it's my bills it's the bank it's the you know the accounting it's the taxes it's the it's everything I got to deal with versus life be now watch what happens if life be is escape what are we talking about life be where you shine is it Escape or is it rejuvenate if it's Escape so then the whole time you're in life a what are you daydreaming about you're always in B so what you start to realize is that you don't you always live there mean you may not be doing it right now you may not be doing B because you're have to deal with a but your your mind is in me that's a healthy thing what that's very healthy you're excited about something maybe maybe a better example would be this guy's at work but he can't wait to get to a bar where he's going to be drinking beer and snorting cocaine okay and and he's married but there's someone else waiting at the bar okay and that's his that's his life be you got that so who's he thinking about when he's when when he gets home finally and his wife's like wants to talk about her day which is what women do they want to review their day you so and by the way every man who is a married man has to know that when you see your wife you the first time at the end of the day is is let her review her day and by the way she's probably reviewed it already a few times with her best friend and with her sister and the other sister and her mother and she's they review the day but they have to have the final review with their husband y why Jacobson had an amazing joke that he would fall asleep when his wife would review her day and she would say why you falling asleep I'm reviewing my day and he says because I love you and she's like if you love me listen you wouldn't fall asleep and he says no no um by falling asleep it prevents me from jumping out the window cuz I love you too much that you should be an ala not not a very J that was why why's joke I like that I mean I really told him way B ker you know so anyway if this is escape if life B is escape life a doesn't exist because every time I'm there I'm just thinking about that you ready for this when I'm in the Escape all of life a grows like pointed ears and fangs when you're in life B when you're in your Escape ape and you know you're daydreaming a little bit about things you got to do tomorrow and responsibilities and the and the wife and the kids and the bills and the work and the which is all stuff you chose you chose to have that life yet for some reason it's turning into the devil it's turning into a demon so what happens is when the place you shine as a kid and I understand why the kid went that way he was not mature enough to know that he had to look in the direction of that which is challenging for him I know he doesn't want to look that way and I know he shined the way he shine but the problem is now we're adults and we're still afraid to look in the areas we got to grow and we're still just trying to shine the ways we shine but the problem is if that becomes an escape so then life a you're never in because even if you're in you're you're over there you can't wait to get over there you're like you want to cut every conversation short so you can get to there you know it'd be an example would be like I'm working I do a lot of one-on-one therapy work so I'm working with someone one-on-one but I'm about to go Mountain like like the second that 3:00 hits he got me from 2 to 3 at 3:00 I'm going mountain biking and the guy's like uh Rabbi can we can we just do an extra half hour happy to pay for it I'd be like yeah maybe tomorrow because I'm not there you know if I'm an es if I would be escaping I'm not I wasn't there during two to three you understand I'm not even there two to three which by the way I would never do because I learned what I'm about to teach you I already taught it but now I'm going to really teach it I learned this years ago and this is when I started my journey to become an adult which I was in my 40s when I discovered what I'm sharing with you but this is when I discovered this and it's made such a massive difference is to take your escape and turn it into re rejuvenate charge the battery maor on everything one sec don't lose it I'm not losing if it's major you wouldn't lose it is once it's rejuvenated you ready for this now when I'm mountain biking I'm racing down the trail used to be I was like there's a fork you I told my wife I'd be back at 6 but there's a fork that leads down this amazing Canyon and like I think I could do it faster than usual and still get back at six right or wrong 100% wrong and and most likely for even doing that God's going to send a flat tire in the middle of that fork and I'm going to come home at like 9 you know having push my bike for two miles in the dark dealing with like little coyotes everywhere and stuff you know nipping at my heels you know and the so now it's like it's like racing my mountain bike just the whole time just thinking like can't wait to re-engage with my work can't wait for my next meetings can't wait to see my wife can't wait to get home and bounce my kids on my knees you know like like I'm just like in the middle of the ride and I'm dreaming about life a why because I'm what am I charging my batteries for Life hey I'm charging the batteries for the things I'm responsible for for the things I wanted things I chose to do and so what happens is once you can flip your Escape into rejuvenate once you can flip it it's no longer an escape now I can finally look in the direction of the now I'm switching now not to life a but to the place I never developed the the the the glaringly obvious blind spots in my life I can now go develop those because when you're in Escape mode you'll never look in the direction of the things you're escaping meaning of the areas of your life you need to be developing when you're an escape you'll never look that way but if you can keep it as rejuvenate if you can make the flip and start rejuvenating with the things that you do and it's just a change of mindset but if you can make that flip not only is life a a blessing like you love life he you love it and you fulfill it completely so when the guy when it hits three in a private meeting with someone I'm ready to go riding for sure but but he got everything I've got to give for that hour I'm going to give it all with joy and with compassion and with dedication commitment but 3:00 hits I'm out on the trail as the sun sets early if it was summertime yeah you can have an extra half hour winter gets dark at 5 and leaving for a mountain bike right at three by the time I get on all my equipment there's no extra half hour for this but I'm 100% in my life a and when I go recharge the batteries it's a blast but it doesn't have that stolen Waters aspect it doesn't it's not poisoned by me in an addiction and then I can now turn towards life a and live it and most importantly what this whole class was about face the areas that I know I got to develop that I never want to look at I can now finally look towards the place I never want to look at and develop these things even though they expose me as an Amar even though I'm exposed as not understanding it and I'm going to have to do baby steps to develop it which is so embarrassing but I'll look that way because I'm no longer escaping how do rejuvenating that is this the Kasha no is my is how do you turn your girlfriend in the bar into Rejuvenation say ter you never had a rejuvenating thing you only your finder a no that was that was U that that that particular example I understand but it's a point I I went a little with that example the point is the same it's got to be if it's an addiction if it's an Escape is you don't have something that makes you alive that's why you came up with the Escape that's my question so so that's the problem say it again if you have an escape yeah then that's why it's an Escape if you if you have an escape if it's an Escape for you that means you don't have something that you shine at for no is you need to find what you shine and in order to shine and that it shouldn't be in Escape why is it m mosha mosha you're making a further distinction which may be very valid and important and that is es escapes I was being very specific I was talking about the place you shine which for you would probably be socially but the place you shine has become your Escape you're right we also have vices that we need to get rid of not discussing vices I was very specifically talking about escaping the place you shine what we spoke about you two just walked in and we what we spoke about was that there's certain areas you shined as a kid and you'll notice as an adult that's where you keep going because it's become your escape from the places you didn't shine where which you need to develop to become whole as a human being so how do you get out of jail I don't see how that gets you out of jail oh because the um because the the jail the real jail the real bars of the jail is the fact that I've been escaping there the second I stop that and just say that's where I charge my batteries and you'll have to put in practice later so for example um I'm going to challenge you mosha that in the next 24 hours you're going to find a situation where you're avoiding something and you're going to go socialize because you shine socially okay you're going to be in that situation and I'm what I'm going to ask you to do is one of two things you can choose right probably going to happen more than once by the way so let's do both so one of the times I want you to face the thing that you were escaping socially and the other time I want you to go socialize but do it in such a way that says I'm going to do 10 minutes of this I'm gonna chmo with the guys for like 10 minutes and then I'm GNA hit that thing that I'm avoiding with such speed and commitment and power and I'm going to nail it so what I'm asking you to do is be hyperware for the next 24 hours of when you're going towards socializing and spe escaping something very specific and I want you to one time not do the socializing and just go deal with the thing you're escaping and the other time I want you to yes do the socializing to fill the tank so that you can go hit 10 minutes later 20 minutes choose a time that you're going to go hit the thing you were escaping or you could just do what your class said yesterday to do and that will make you face what you're escaping is just bumping everything yeah okay um anyway that was our session today anyone have any random thoughts questions how do you con the shine shine to be Rejuvenation that helps you tackle what you're avoiding well the fact that you shine there is going to rejuvenate you anyway the the move meaning the place we shine what's what's good for us the good thing is is that where we shine we generally get rejuvenated we generally do get rejuvenated where we shine so it's pretty good it's good for us the issue is that we've allowed escapism to creep into where we shine in order to avoid the places we need the direction we need to look at where we do need development we've been we've allowed escapism to creep in all we're doing is creeping it out creep the escapism out of where you shine so that you can use that shining place for charging batteries to go to the areas where you need to grow got it okay any others and then there's a question of how do you actually grow okay so well if it's a financial thing you need to take that's the beginning of the class you got to put your tail between your legs you got to walk up to someone who's close to you as an accountant and just say to him listen buddy we're friends for years we've been a million kishes together I love you so much but I need you to teach me Olive base I need to learn Olive base if you need me to pay I will but I think it's probably worth an hour of your life to just give me Olive base in accounting so I can stop being such a mess when it comes to my finances and just take those baby steps I've done this over and over again I mean I'm such a beginner at everything I do EAS now to ask yeah once you do it a million times ask asking people for help um it's easy for it's always been easy for me I don't I never had issues with Pro with exposing my beginner Hood um so I can't answer that really maybe it gets easier for people um there was one thing I want to say about it though is that is that the hard part oh oh yeah I want to say something is you shouldn't if you run a company or a business of some sort you you should be hiring people where you're weak why because hiring someone who shines in that area of the business is going to make your business fly you understand for you to be so I'm gonna throw this all on its head now is if you're actually in a business that you're trying to grow and be responsible for that it should be big and great and make it difference for whatever it is real estate or retail I don't care what it is Amazon whatever it is the stuff you shine in should be your area in the business and the stuff that other people shine in should be their area you hire people for that and if you say to yourself how am I going to afford that like I my business isn't big enough to hire people take a loan take a loan borrow half a year a salary for somebody find someone who really shines in that area and I promise you within months you'll have already paid off the loan you'll be paying this guy and the company will be making the kind of money that this guy's going to become you know one of the main you know established workers there don't don't have the places you need to grow be where everyone's counting on you make sure your garden of that where you're spending your time and effort is where shine professionally while you develop the other side so for example I have everywhere I don't shine I have people working but I study what they're doing I study it and they're like why do you want to know this like why do you need to know this why are you even interested in this and I'm and I just say because these are my blind spots like these are the areas that I that all my life I've refused to look in that direction so I'm I'm facing my dragons a little bit you know don't worry I'm not going to take over your job that's not going to happen you know you still have that position but I need I'd like to know about it I don't I don't know that stuff that's exactly what I avoided my whole childhood was dealing with that stuff got it Shalom everybody it's great okay I feel like if you just do what you spoke about yesterday you don't need today's CL