Practical Spirituality - You are a nobody

Shalom everyone welcome back to practical spirituality here in the old city of Jerusalem we are live from uspizza which is a beautiful place beautiful hall right here in the Jewish quarter so I'm going to share with you the following bad news and that is that you're a nobody okay that wasn't very nice you're not a nobody You're Nobody let me make this really clear a nobody means you're like a loser you're nobody means that you don't have to be limited by any particular character that you think you are you're not limited you're anybody so wait a second we just took it several steps so first we started with just the clickbait of You're Nobody then we moved it to your nobody and now we moved it to your anybody and that's really the truth is that you are anybody you're really anybody which means that you could do anything you could do literally anything and and now I'm not saying you'd necessarily be so good at doing anything but you could do anything and let's let's really take this all back to something much simpler and that was a rough introduction so let's let's just go real simple here identity people have no idea who they are I have no idea who I am you have no idea who you are but when you're about three four years old 5 years old having no idea who you are is really problematic you see your first years when you were a toddler that beautiful child that you were you had no idea who you were if someone walked up to you and said like who are you you wouldn't like um You probably just give them your name I don't know what you'd say exactly but they but you you had no certainly no concept of yourself because you had no self-awareness as a as an separate individual than anything going on around you it's only at years three three and a half four that you start to realize you're a separate entity than you know the next person or anything around you you're for the first time self-aware and that's why in Judaism we let kids under three uh and this is specifically I'm going to talk about the boys we let them grow their hair like we don't cut their hair for the first three years because they're like wild animals I mean they can't they have no I mean if they do something wrong today and you tell them not to do it and then they go ahead and do it tomorrow the reason they're doing it tomorrow is they they don't have any recol ction of yesterday yesterday doesn't mean anything they they're not yet with a point of reference called the self that's now marking Time even they don't Mark time they're just living in the moment and so if trying to make a grilled cheese sandwich inside a VHS machine which used to be how people watched movies trying to make a grilled cheese sandwich in a VHS machine if that seemed like a good idea to a 2-year-old well the following day it would also be a good idea to him and punish ing him would do basically nothing from 3 years old you become self-aware somewhere between three and four but at Jewish tradition is that at three years old we the kid gets three things keep on their head they get a haircut if they're cidic now they cut everything but the pays and um and also many other Traditions leave the pis of the bo baby of the little boy and the third thing is they get czis which are you know the the cosmic dental floss that we wear and they begin wearing situs and sitzes are for remembering you know they're they're about remembering and being once you remember now you're now you're you know you're obligated you're once you remember something you are once you're able to remember you're now accountable for what was going on yesterday and you you can't just get away with anything and and it sit is there to remember there's God whenever you're feeling like whenever you're feeling like you just want to do whatever you want to do you remember there's a God anyway let's go back so when you're about three years old maybe a little older the you become self-aware but you still have no real identity and so you have to create an identity most people just copy paste from from kids around friends uh um parents teachers you know everyone's like copy pasting from people they're they're basically looking at others and and becoming like them and this is the root of loneliness this is one of the saddest things in the world is that once you're copy pasting why are you copy pasting well you're copy pasting because you're thinking that people will like you so and then they do because you basically mimicked them and so because you mimic them and then they so they gave you like the some kind of U agulation for that so now you're you're you could actually go on this whole thing of like becoming liked but it's not you that they like it's what you copy pasted that they liked and so you just kind of get lonier and lonier and sadder and sadder over the over the years but you don't even know you're getting lonely and you don't even know you're getting sad because everyone likes you but it's not you they like and and the problem with this also is that if you're not really expressing yourself um so then you know you're you're again you're you're pe oh the other problem is if you're not really expressing yourself you're not getting practice at it because self-expression takes practice and I mean you know an artist is self-expressing but they work very hard long hours to develop their skills and self-expression in being able to express who you are it takes practice and you know all the people who say oh when I'll be rich I'll start saying whatever I really want to say no you won't you it takes practice you can't just one day start doing it you wouldn't even know what you'd want to say you know you you you got to you got to you got to start now and the other reason why it takes practice is because it takes courage because if you're going to express yourself not everyone's going to like it and you're going to get negative feedback and but you're expressing yourself and can you express yourself in the face of negative feedback and and can and not give up your self- ex expression even though you know the it's it's not being well received but if it's your truth so then you you can't you know it's not for sale that's your self- ex expression that's your integrity that's your authenticity now going back when you're about three 3 to four years old you have no idea who you are you start copying pasting from others and you but you have all kinds of other things because human beings lives human beings identity is always couched in stories so if you're from La well it would depend what part of LA because La is giant but La itself there's a certain story about La I find myself um whenever I say I'm from La if someone asks around the world I always will move the the uh what do you call that indicator on a map pin I move the PIN to the coast so I'll say yeah I'm from La um right where um La meets the northern Coastline area called Malibu but I'll like move the PIN for them because I'm trying to better give a better picture of who I am but that's not who I am cuz I'm from my it doesn't you know it's certainly a lot of my character is connected to having grown up in LA but I'm not La you know you can't be where you're [Music] from a lot of people um have the story of their religion and that becomes their you know part of their identity is their religion um Judaism certainly has a major Narrative of the this nation that was born in another nation in Egypt and and the um you know and then there were these plagues and the splitting of the sea and then this Mount Si massive you know Revelation a a a national prophetic experience took place and is that my identity because I'm born from that Community is that who I am am I the name yomtov like if you put me in an MRI what's on the screen does it show Mount Si does it show their name yomtov over and over again does it what's over there so obviously an MRI is not going to be a good way to find identity what I'm saying really is what if you were no one could you be cool with being no one would that be a problem like are you would that be scary to be known and who are you after you die you know obviously you have a soul so you're going to outlast your life but you know you mean you Outlast your physical body body but who would you be then are you still male or a female are you the chances are is that you're no one meaning you'll you'll have a soul but what is the soul Souls don't have gender you know Soul doesn't have male or female you know uh European Asian Eastern you know like none of that stuff touches your soul and the soul is the only thing that'll be lasting you know though the soul the soul is the only thing that'll be like you know be here for the Long Haul of your life what if we what if we just got rid of all of our identity and just went with the soul what if we just get rid of identity and will just be Soul alone you know just the soul and this body is just a cage it's a soul cage you know the uh the sting had a song called Soul cages Soul cages and and the police had an album called ghosts in the machine and and if we just went with that as our identity if we just went with the soul as the identity where do you begin where do you end what's your limit do you even have a limit so you get to this unlimited self well once your self becomes unlimited any given particular task anything required of you any responsib possibility is within the realm of possibility you know anything that you would be required of anything that would be required of you you could do and it also would be vastly reducing the ego which has its own will because I can get off meaning I may want something but I can get off it pretty quick if there's no real identity that I'm holding on to meaning if I could be no one but I really really want a sandwich but it's yum Kipper and it's a fast day so it's like so it's like but I want a sandwich well who's I I is no one I is just the soul and you know and the Torah tells us that you know what is the Torah what are the 613 Commandments it's a way of saying it's the 613 ways of caring for the soul you know we're caring for our soul and if caring for the soul in this day means no sandwich or any other fast day throughout the year means no sandwich it so so the rule is for my soul no sandwich but H I want a sandwich well who is that I who is that guy and so the answer is well it's my ego and what's the ego well the one thing the ego is not well I don't know if you'd say it like that but the one thing it is is it doesn't like being told what to do I don't want anyone to tell me what to do so if I want a sandwich I want a sandwich don't tell me I can't have a sandwich and if I want to you know if I want to light a fire and cook on chabas so that's my will but that's my ego you're not allow to cook on chabas so as long as I'm a soul it's very easy to keep shabas but as long as I'm some identity with with its own will so then it's very difficult to keep shabas if someone wasn't raised doing it so it all really boils down to to being a soul it all really boils down to being nobody and once you're in that nobody State you can be anybody and in every situation so let's say you're in a a business meeting and you're in a conference room and in the conference the owner of the company can't show up but the meeting still has to be had because decisions have to be made and they all point to you if someone is an identity that's clearly not the owner of the company identity so they'll just say listen I can't do it but in the situation where you're a you're just the spirit you're you're not anything but the spirit that vivifies your body and these decisions need to be made and you're everyone's pointing at you as the person who would be next best at making these decisions will step into those show step into those shoes there's a lot of great stories I wish I could tell you one right now I can't but there's a lot of great stories of situations where there was no one else who could have done a job and one person felt the responsibility deeply but didn't have the skill sets who today is known for you know having pulled off some incredible feet as a result because there's there's there's a certain gift from God that when there's no one else to do it and you take on to do it that you suddenly get the skills you're you're imbued with the power to fulfill what's needed and that makes total sense in a in a god generated world meaning in this God production we're in that if there was a need and it's a clear need and and and it's and there's no one naturally there to fulfill that need so someone will be imbued with the power to fulfill that need so enjoy it enjoy it it's a lot of fun and the the words there's actually a mantra there's several different words you can say but there's a mantra and the Mantra is you're when you're really in that place you're able to say to God whoever you call me into being I am try those words whoever you call me into being I am you can close your eyes and say it a few times whoever you call me into being being I am again whoever you call me into being I am open your eyes and what happens is as things are moving throughout your day you're being called into being meaning let's say for example my wife calls and so okay so this is now talking to my wife that's the doing talking to my wife the being would be loving caring very good listening um which is a bit of a doing but there's a being of being a listener um and um and yeah that's it and just speaking to her and then I look at my other phone not that I have two phones but I look at my other phone and it's my son's principal I guess my son's been busted yeah and so well who do I got to be for this one so well whoever you call me into being I am okay who would that need to be well who works for who here cuz maybe is the principal's going to try to bully me but he works for me so let's first of all be the boss of the situation I'm not working for him that's for sure you know they they can go boss sometimes because you know just imagine being a principal of a school you got you know all these crazy kids to deal with but then you got all the parents so it's easy to turn bully as a principal anyway so who would I got to be so I got to set the vibration that he works for me okay I'm boss hello Mr principal how's it going what's going on and and then be in that role send that vibration his way oh other phone's ringing oh someone needs a little piece of advice someone's calling for advice you know they they got they got a situation on their hands of whether or not to go forward or to pull back in a uh dating situation oh they want to speak to the rabbi who knows a lot about relationships boom who do I got to beat for that uh so I'm the I'm the relationship wisdom Rabbi hey how's it going yeah so tell me give me the latest on the on your last date with this person ding got over here one of my kids calling oh little guy hey hey sweetheart what's up what do you need yeah okay what do we got over here my boss here I got got to be like you know now I'm going into this mode of who I am is a is a uh what's the word I mean it's clearly humble but it's um the word is like under somebody I don't know how to say it but you know you're under your boss your boss has seniority Authority you know and which puts you as a you know in a secondary position okay hey boss what's up how can I help you and no we got over here anyway but what happens is as you play this Mantra in your head of telling Hashem telling God whoever you call me be in whoever you call me into being I am life gets really amazing you become like clay in the hands of a Potter and God's the Potter and he keeps sending you these situations and with every situation he sends you you can just okay who do I got to be for that well who do I got to be for that who do I got to be for that and you just keep flowing you're liquid you're liquid you just like you could go into any shape you know and that and it really takes away the um anxiety of the of the responsibilities it takes away the um you know nervousness or frustration or could even take away the boredom of it if it's something that would bore you you know you can just wear these hats and uh you know after shabas there could be quite a lot of dishes in my kitchen and so God's calling me into that position of just being I I mean I don't know what the being is of a dishwasher but um I guess a servant maybe meaning I'm a servant of the house I'm like a housekeeper and that's what's being asked well here we go let's wash some dishes and usually my wife washes and I dry so we can we have a whole conversation she washes them I dry them and put them away and it's very romantic for us but it's um again it's it's just another position that God calls you into being um the words that the Torah uses for that is the word h so you can play with that as well it's a lot shorter than whoever you call me into being I am it's just the word h try the word h h it's a construct of the word of the words H Ani um what H an means behold I am but what it means in English is here I am so like for example when God Called to Abraham he says Abraham so Abraham says H here I am meaning wherever you want to direct me I'll go Moses god called a Moses he here I am and and Moses you know Moses argued a little bit because he was like listen I Shepherd sheep you know I'm a sheep Shepherd and I like don't talk to me about freeing no slaves please and God's like listen Moses I'm not asking you not to be a Shepherd go ahead and be a Shepherd but I want you to Shepherd a whole nation and Moses who was the humblest of all people turned out to be a good shepherd for the nation he's like Shepherd sheep Shepherd Nation same skill you know like it's going to take a lot of care and in fact there was a stray injured sheep in the in the lore of Judaism that Moses went and picked up and took care of and and that was like a sign to God that I got the right guy for this job he's going to he's not going to let anyone uh get left behind um yeah so here I am H it's being a vessel and really being liquid and then no one can insult you also because who is it they who did they insult certainly not you you're who are you so there's no one to insult you know you can just be in the flow you know there's no one to insult so you don't have to be so worried about being insulted uh there's no one to honor is you enough worry that make sure you know you're being honored no one there's no one there to honor um you're just filling your roles as they come your way and you can actually build bigger and bigger roles the whole time because you're just liquid you know so you can wind up in quite powerful roles but at the same time be completely unaffected by it uh meaning your ego unaffected so let's make this our goal you know the the we see God as the king of the universe Well Kings have a will and us being God's subjects so our job is to do the will of the king and to Crown the king uh most people are crowning themselves you know they crown their eyes when they want to look at this they crown their their thoughts they crown their brain when they want to think about things they shouldn't be thinking about they crown their ears when they want to hear gossip and they crown their mouth when they want to eat the wrong Foods or or they want to um speak you know bad language or disparagingly about a person people Crown their bodies for their to do whatever they want with their own desires Judaism we Crown God we Crown God and once I Crown God I make him King over my eyes over my ears over my mouth God's King over my body God's King over my desires God's King over my thoughts and we're we're in a process now of like removing our Crown putting it on the God's head so you're not a nobody you're massive but you're massive because God makes you massive and in this liquid state of being whoever God calls you into being you are so please uh subscribe and hit the Bell hit some likes bless