Practical Spirituality - The Power of the Wilderness

yonan Ben Yakov live all right um anyone who would like to be part of uh these experiences of these classes and to have a little extra Merit coming their way or for anyone you can obvious obviously let us know and we will mention names we have various sponsors and um and a big shout out to asiza where we are doing this class right across from the Temple Mount here in the holy city of Jerusalem and also the and actually Ben cloes actually teaching right outside this room to one of his groups on the Akiva trip and also to Torin time the biggest Yeshiva in the world and uh one of our sponsors this person should have Ys Ben Yakov Ezra Ezra he should have big good SL and what he's doing and um yeah today we're going to be talking about quiet you know really getting to a quiet place so let's start with a little quiet place everyone take a deep breath nice take another deep breath and close your eyes as you exhale one more deep breath hold your breath and release opening up your eyes and just notice the quiet place that you got to with three breaths it's it's underestimated I think the power of breath the our breath really does make a big difference and most people are breathing unconsciously most of the time and you can go quite far with with just getting conscious with your breathing and there's so many types of breath that you can be U utilizing um for example the anti-anxiety breath that's that's a really important one and that's the in through the nose stomach chest quickly and then along out through the mouth let's try that one so stomach chest I'll show you what stomach chest looks like try together stomach chest is fast slow out you don't hold the breath one more so that uh tricks your um your nervous system to go out of the parasympathetic uh fight andlight emergency mode and puts it into a um a state of the sympathetic nervous system which is just relaxed what it sounds relax it sounds reversed but it's I was told to remember it because everyone gets it confused including me I was told the param par sympathetic is think paramedic but look it up you got your phone oh good we got another student coming in Shalom that seat must have been for you come on by no no this way yeah watch the cables anyway Shalom so anyway but there's all kinds of breaths you can go you know you can Skip psychedelics and just meaning you don't have to take any psychedelic you can just go straight for or holotropic breathing if you want which would be and a very simple level would be through the mouth in and out as strong as you can like like this like I I do doubles but but simply would just be do that for close to two hours an hour at least but close to two hours um to the point where you you know after about 45 minutes your breath is breathing you and and I wouldn't try this alone necessarily because you can have a and you should be somewhat supervised somewhat supervised but the but what will happen just by doing that um consistently for an hour or an hour and a half two hours you will move into a fully psychedelic State and and and that's really interesting that you can do that just with breath um anyway there's plenty of other breath um mechanisms that can take you far and that's our discussion today and our discussion is about the Wilderness um there's there's an experience with Wilderness that has the a inspiring mountains but there's also an experience of the Wilderness that gets very horizontal so deserts are generally horizontal and oceans are extremely horizontal they outdo the the desert for horizontal but there's also deserts with giant mountains the Sinai deserts giant mountains uh Joshua Tree National Monument is a is full of these rock formations that are if you haven't seen Joshua Tree I'm not sure you can die because you have to been to Joshua a tree before you die just to experience this place and there's certain places that I think are musts on the bucket list of wildernesses um but you'll see that if you go to the ocean and you didn't even get in it but you hung out with an expansive horizontal place I don't know what it is about it but your whole system just chills and you'll notice that cities coasts and it's not just because you know it's access to the world to be near a coast because you can today you have full access from Chicago to the world without a coast but people tend towards coasts coastlines there's something about horizontal that's the moderator and you'll notice that the time we get our deepest rest is when we're horizontal horizontal is mean we put our own bodies horizontal or being horizontal on the beach is there's something about that and the and the word midbar is the word in Hebrew for Wilderness and what it means really about what midmar really means is is it's where there's as little um influence as possible midmar really means minimized ultimately minimized influence and it's funny coming off last week's paral which was and before it even talked about the death penalty for idolatry it first gave a death penalty for influencers and and it's very interesting that that Torah goes out of its way to start with influencers before it went to the punishment for the idolatry so apparently God has it in for influencers meaning if you're an influencer for good so I imagine God's pretty cool with you but if you're an influencer and you're influencing people in a a way from good so now obviously there's no influencer doesn't think he's influencing for the good everyone thinks they're influencing for the good which brings up the whole subject again what's good and what's bad and and you know then we're then we're back in that whole discussion but just to not have that discussion let's just suffice to say that when you have let's say a pyramid of priority where you're going to sacrifice lower to get to a higher point of a pyramid so if you don't put God at the Top If you don't put that at the top and it's kind of cool that the ancient world had a seeing eye at the top because what is God if not a seeing eye if you don't put God at the top God is just good without with missing his one of the O's you know if you don't put God at the top then then uh things get dicey things get real dicey take God off the top things get dicey and I don't think there was ever a civilization that lived very long after God was knocked off the top and um and just as a fair warning you can YouTube this but it's pretty cool and I I don't know how if it's 100% true but but you can YouTube this one is um is that when you take God off the top now so now you're we you no longer have a a a unified objective good so what happens is uh good gets very subjective and very disunified and factional in what's going to be called good and and and then it it's just a matter of time until there's a full breakdown and and the the thing that makes it worse the thing that really really messes up with Society is when things get all jble jumbled like that because God got taken off the top there's no more tip to the pyramid get rid of that the uh things get so jumbled but there's an ingredient that's one of the most beautiful things in the world and in fact it's for you it's oxygen itself that if you add it to the equation mean you add something as healthy as what I'm about to tell you if you add this to the equation then things go south quick and you know what that is you're not going to believe what it is it's called acceptance your which is your deepest need your deepest need is to be accepted now it's not really your deepest need your deepest need is to be loved but who are the people you love when they accept you so acceptance is like a super super high value if you don't have it in your household your kids for sure will sour you know you might wind up with good kids but they're dead inside because they were too busy trying to earn acceptance cuz there was no unconditional acceptance it was you know it was acceptance like a gun over your head acceptance we'll accept you if you behave you know and so and so those homes like either a kid will spin out and go find a place where he's accepted at some 7-Eleven parking lot or you'll or you'll get instead good kids who are dead inside because they don't have their deepest need met which is unconditional acceptance which leads to love because the only people I would ever feel loved from the only possibility of feeling love from someone is that they accept you for who you are that's the only way you could ever feel love from someone anyway but check this out when you take God off the top and then you inject acceptance as the main as the main um Val Val like we're going to make acceptance the main value so what happens is that standards of fur approval get pushed out standards for approval get pushed out think about it if I have to accept you no matter what so then I likely will start set I'll have to say that what you're up to doesn't matter anymore you understand oh gosh I mixed this up for you guys let me make it super clear okay you have you have something called approval and then you have something called acceptance they're two very separate subjects approval is standards of behavior stuff you do so for example would you guys approve of me not making a blessing over this water I already made a blessing before we started today but would you approve of that no would you accept me if I didn't yeah so do you see that two separate things you'd accept me as a human being for having not done that but you wouldn't approve of it is that clear so people have people have approval and acceptance blurred they have them blurred so they wind up only accepting people they approve of you either follow my standards or you're out where that's that's approval and acceptance blurred together or you or you are following my standards or you're out now does that feel safe or dangerous it's very dangerous and how are you supposed to know my standards it's not like anyone interviewed me I mean how are you supposed to know my standards yet most people only accept the people they approve of most people only accept those they approve of in other words they have acceptance that approve of blurred and they only accept those they approve of this is why when I meet someone like I'll meet someone at some party I'll be in La this week so uh later this week I'll be in LA and I'll meet someone at a party and they'll be like apologizing for their existence you know because they're meeting this Jew with the payers and the keeper on the beard and they're like like and the guy's like I'm a really bad you Rabbi you have to understand I'm just like you haven't even told me your name yet and this was not like some kind of test of and we're we're at a cocktail party for Ev sakes like what is you having to be a b you happen thinking you're bad Jew have to do with this you know I was I'm just came here to enjoy myself you know but you understand that what he's really saying is I feel like such a in front of you meaning meaning meaning you clearly would not accept me for my behavior you wouldn't accept me because you wouldn't approve so they get blurred but let's look at it the other way you're you most of us only accept the people we approve of which is terrible thing and you're makes you frankly dangerous you I'm not going to feel safe with you if that's the case and the other is that you can go the other way what's the other way is I only AC I since acceptance is the highest good and that's like the USA the USA is the United States of acceptance think about it that it's what it is I mean just go to Brooklyn drive around Brooklyn you'll drive from Community to community to community and a lot of those neighboring communities are have been at War for for ages in their original country but put them in the United States of acceptance they live side by side for Generations no nothing ever happened it's the United States of acceptance The Melting Pot where you take where you take Waring factions throughout the planet you bring them to America and everyone just gets along they made acceptance the highest the highest value meaning they took God off the top and they put accept as the top but they have the opposite issue is not only do do I accept everyone but I also have to what I have to approve of everyone is if you put acceptance as the highest good and you don't understand the distinction between acceptance and approval you don't understand that distinction so then what happens is you wind up with a society that there's no such thing as stand standards for approval anymore I'm okay you're okay everybody just do whatever you want Hell's Bells and just go for it and so that society as it breaks down and what do I mean by breaks down break the standards of behavior are no longer considered um important necessarily uh people are meaning that just the whole society loses its standards it loses its own self-respect and it's like um you know 1960s was a big part of this the um I think that the the Psychedelic era um was was a a period of time mean the late 60s was a time where where I think under under under the influence of psychedelics in that period that there was a loss of Distinction at all like like you and I like we're all one which is true you know I mean it's a very Torah precept that everything's really one but Torah everything's one and then there's all these distinctions whereas 1960s weren't being Guided by Torah you can go to ancient Villages mean commities all over the jungles of the world like Aboriginal communities that are where where psychedelic medicines that show you the Oneness are are in the Bedrock of their religion of that Aboriginal community in the jungle there and yet they have very fine lines in their societal structure in their um in their way of doing things and what the men do and what the women do and and what your position position is in the community things are clearly distinguished so when I'm so basically the the Psychedelic era of the of the US which was late 60s and throughout the 70s was it was bringing psychedelics to United States of acceptance was a bad recipe was a bad recipe and and then what happened was acceptance and approval getting blurred so since I have to accept everyone and we're all one anyway so therefore um I have to approve of everyone and therefore there's no more standards there's no more you know after a while there's no more right and wrong well you can get so blurred out with the Oneness of it all that there's no more binary nature you understand that that what is binary binary means that there's there's two and unity means there's one and and interestingly the whole Torah which is the blueprint of our creation God literally is creating this world through a blueprint meaning like an overhead projector is constantly active when you're in a classroom and there's an overhead projector that transparency which is creating the image on the screen is at all times actively doing that so the Torah is the blueprint of creation it's the it's the um it's the overhead projector transparency that's been placed and it's moving all the time it's alive you know but it but the Torah begins with a bet with the letter bet Al Bet B Al Bet it begins with a two and the two if you look at the shape of a bet okay the BET going this way has its back turned to the Olive and God's called The Olive he's the aluo sh he's the the the one within all the many cuz all the many in the whole world of this this [Music] um digital you know we're inside this you know digital uh what's the right word it's a three syllable word um simul simulation so simulation for ex in this digital simulation it's all made of vibration and the and one is the common denominator of all vibration so if you play your a string on your guitar that's 44 4 ons and Hashem is the one within all of it and now when you get married so now it's two just like creation it's two but to that become one which is you know the goal of everything and the and to when you hear music playing it's you know multiple vibrations in the chord but the the spiritual the spiritually wise hear Hashem in the music at all times you know you're always hearing Hashem in the music and anyway but just going back to the that when you when you go nonbinary meaning when you want to say everything's really one and there's no two even though the entire creation is binary meaning the seia multiplicity you're in binary realm you know this is why when we say Shama when we talk about the Oneness we close our eyes and then we cover our eyes everyone try that close your eyes just regular without your hand you'll see you still see some light and um and Now cover your eyes with your hand tight and by the way this is how you should say Shama tight and you'll see it just becomes one can open your eyes and that one is nothing because before there was something what was there nothing before the if you're a big banger before the Big Bang there was nothing if you're a Genesis or before the before Heaven and Earth there was nothing well how much of nothing can there be other than one there's only one nothing if you divide it by three you get nothing if you multiply by three you get nothing it's Absolute Total Oneness and and it's the truth but he created this world with multiplicity it's a binary world and and the Torah teaches us all its distinctions you know and the Torah is distinguishing the world for us just like the Aboriginal cultures have great distinction they understand the Oneness because they're tripping on iasa or whatever they're taking over there the mushrooms of Mexico or something they know all about the Oneness but but they have deep traditions of the standards of behavior of the distinctions of wrong and right and you know good and bad and um and Judaism has that we don't need the psychedelics because we have prophecy and prophecy makes LSD look like vitamin C prophecy is beyond you know if if psychedelics are are a um if they are a A A A Taste of tripping sorry A Taste of of if psychedelics are a taste of Prophecy it's a very small taste because the 99% of people can do a psychedelic and come back normal obviously people should be aware of their family history and their own psychological makeup before they get involved in such things but the um but if any of us got even a light meaning Us in this room myself included if any of us got even a light um prophetic moment right now like if you just suddenly got just a little prophetic moment right now I don't mean little one but like a real real prophecy like you got a real prophetic moment right now you would you probably wouldn't be able to um continue your life as a normal person you wouldn't be able to come back from that very well the and I know everyone feels like they're pretty solid citizens in here but um I don't want to scare anybody but but we're way more shaky than we realize we're way more shaky well I think since since maybe after Corona after covid-19 I think everyone realizes how shaky they are yeah would you guys say you're a little more sober appreciate is there anyone here who doesn't realize how shaky they are you realize that but before Corona I thought I was absolutely un stoppable you know it was until I like broke a tooth and I'm like what the like did I break a tooth like did I just break a tooth what is that and and so I went to the dentist I'm like I broke my tooth he's like yeah man you're clenching your teeth I'm like clenching my teeth since when I'm the most chill guy there is he's like have you been following news like during Corona like during Co have you have you been like following the news and I'm like yeah I mean I'm definitely following the news and he's like why don't you stop watching the news for about a month and see if you're still clenching your teeth so I stopped watching the news and I stopped clinching my teeth and but that was one of the indicators of how shaky I am you know and I was I was definitely considered a pretty solid citizen and I still am but but I'm much more humble now and realizing that we're we're um we're just we're just shaky you know and since the war things are get more shaky and whatever this is the time in our lives where we have to laser beam laser beam to AEM like I don't know what you guys are up to in your lives but you got to laser beam yourself unto Hashem you got a laser beam into Hashem totally right now and it's it's really important that you do that um The Flying Squirrels you guys ever heard of flying squirrels it's fun to watch them on YouTube but they but they they they take off and just like jump from tree to tree and they have this they have like like their arms are kind of webbed into these wings and they just so some guy did something that I'm sure animal activist wouldn't have been so excited about but you know what he did he took a like a seesaw thing and just banged the side with a flying squirrel on this side and just shot the squirrel off you know and the squirrel's just like you know because he's in full spin mode you know definitely going to have a crash landing but doesn't he lands on his feet each time anyway but what he did was he slowed it he put it on full slowmo video and to see how does this thing flying Head Over Heels the whole time land on his feet each time and so by putting in slowmo it's very clear what he does the um the second he shoots up it instinctually chooses a landing Place based on I guess the trajectory chooses a landing place and while his body is doing all the spinning his head is makes his body pivot around it his head doesn't move his eyes are on the spot till he lands I think everyone just here got the reason why I'm discussing Flying Squirrels you have to be a flying squirrel meaning you're going to be sent Head Over Heels all over the place most likely all of us are we already have been and it's going to probably be getting worse before it's going to be getting better and who knows what's in store next I mean it's seriously crazy you know like like you know what if the US has a civil war do you realize what could that you realize the world as we know it is over and and people are like more and more starting to wonder about that you know and and please got it won't happen you know let's hope that that the great United States of of America can can somehow make it through these crazy times but um but if it did you better have your eye on the Target and I can't tell you how awesome it is I feel like since Corona since Co my eye on the target is the target's Hashem but there's another aspect of it and this will sound maybe crazy to some people but Israel is Israel is the is the Refuge City Israel is the Refuge City I know it didn't seem very safe on October 7th um but God is in control and God is um you know it was a miracle like the hamas's victory on October 7th was an absolute made zero sense militarily that they were able to like ride through on cruiser bicycles you know like and and uh do what they did so it was clearly God's hand um October 8th was the next news which was the news that the whole world hates the Jews just like World War II Holocaust like H were they all waiting this whole time to let us know that or how much longer was the world going to pretend that and not much longer were the Jews going to pretend that we actually loved and cherished by Society but like October 7th was the first crazy Miracle normally Miracles are good things but this was a miracle bad thing but the that happened October 8th began the world feeling no longer bashful about their hatred towards good and and then the uh whatever they that ever since these times every time I'm on an airplane back to Israel my I don't know what it is I just I just keep thinking that like there's only so many more of these trips I'm going to be making and there's only so much more time left it just feels suddenly like a time like like there's a like there's a countdown I don't and by the way you can throw this in the waist basket if you want and but other people have this feeling too I don't know if you guys have this feeling and you have that feeling you have that feeling no you have that you you feel that you should you don't feel that okay so I hope I'm wrong I mean I have my family my friends I have my by all the people working with me in my organization and the possible you and all these branches of and all these students all and I love everybody you know like all these people out there but I don't know there's something about Israel even though I'm you know I'm I'm far from I'm I don't I don't consider the Jewish leadership of is like the the Israel leadership leadership I don't consider them leadership um but nevertheless I like the fact that if there was something existential like if we were in an existential situation that our existence was online that they could uh they could you know do something about it whereas if we're in an existential threat outside of Israel we're completely at the mercy of the kindness of a government that you hope likes us I don't know maybe I'm sounding too zionis right now that that I like the fact that there's a military system set up for existential threat but I I think it's basic math I mean if if you have an existential threat as a Jew and you have a government that's also Jewish who feel the existential threat and are going to are willing to do whatever it would take to protect you from losing your existence so I guess it's basic math to feel more safe safe here of course you know whenever I speak this way people say what about October 7th they didn't do a very good job on that day but the but my answer would just be that that day just doesn't make any sense that's that was just the next level of the of the um hysteria or anxiety of the of these this period that clearly is about to give birth to something like there's we're in the middle of a birth process so something's being born right now and and we're in that process we're in a process of a some kind of birth we and we don't even know what it is and that's why I'm saying we got to keep our eye on there we got to be the flying squirrel that while you're getting rocked you keep your eye on the target all of this for us let's make this our preparation for rashash Shan and yum Kipper this should be part of our preparation because um tues Monday night Begins [Music] the which begins our 40-day count to Kipper so I think all of us should have that in mind and also i' just like to suggest everybody because tomorrow night begins this 40-day count that um I think it would be who of us to that whatever it is that makes you feel guilty like in a daily or let's say once a week or whatever's going on with you that causes that's not building you but it's actually breaking you down whatever could be possibly breaking you right now choose one thing that's not so hard and just take on that for the next 40 days you're not going to do it as of tomorrow night like you're just that take one thing and get rid of it so I I got rid of mine um mine is mine is going to be using technology for entertainment meaning I'll use it for learning I'll use it for I don't mind getting news and I think the professional surfing tour will be surfing in um Southern California so I'll probably watch a few of those few those Heats because that's my sport but um but yeah not if it's entertainment it's out and I'd like to see what I do with my time that is no longer wasted and it's mostly really just my sleep because the affording yourself some entertainment at the end of the night can wind up being much longer than you would have anticipated and you probably would have fell fallen asleep much quicker without it so and then there's uh that's the Lo say meaning that's what you should take on one thing that you're going to stop doing one thing that's hurting you and take on one thing that's going to help so I already took on my one thing and and all it was was just some additional study but very specific Torah study that'll I think will keep me more un Target in my life so the um anyway but I think everyone should spend the next 24 hours thinking of what they would like to stop and what they'd like to do they'd like to stop doing what they'd like to start doing and then do that for 40 days and the reason why one of the incentives why to do that is because you don't want Russia sha to just like slam into you unexpectedly so it's you know those are two heavy days they're also the most important days of the year so we have the two most important days of the year coming up which is rashash Sha which is two days and that if you stop doing something that's scattering you and you start doing something that's focusing you you'll I think you'll find that that little thing you sto doing and that little thing you started doing will have sensitized you to be involved in all kinds of other stuff so that when rashash comes you'll be highly sensitized to have the ultimate rashash what I what I'm saying is that the thing you're doing that's scattering you and the thing that you're not doing that would be focusing you is causing you to miss all kinds of other really cool things because you're a little uh Spacey you understand what I'm saying you're a little spaced out and so by accepting upon yourself something you're going to stop doing in and something you aren't going to do that you're going to be more tuned in now and by being tuned in you're going to you're going to get tuned into all kinds of amazing stuff and then God will send you your Messengers and you'll have some uh some Awakenings and I'm in a lot of topics at once as usual um does anyone have any questions on anything I've said at this point questions questions yeah wanted to ask if earlier when speaking accept would youate between love and AC um so I consider accept love is a function of acceptance but love is love is is really I mean let's just play it together right now so do you mind being online with me no but like in camera coming real tight because I don't know the frame more even everyone this is my friend Ben C so um I don't know what you've been up to as far as your beh behavior and and U you don't know what I've been up to either for that matter and don't let looks fool you but I'm generally being good but come bring like lean in a bit in case because I again I don't know the camera yeah you're good so um anyway whatever it is you were up to I I don't care whatever that was because inside of you is your being like you you sense for a moment what you're doing is sitting but there's a being inside of you that is vivifying your body it's giving life to you that's your being and everyone get that you have a being okay and that being is Untouchable there's nothing you can do to mess with that being that being is always there um it's like it's like the sun you know if if it's a cloudy day if it's a sunny day if it's a foggy day it doesn't affect the sun you understand that these are all these are all um so anyway so you have a being and that's your true self and and interestingly whether I accept it or not is almost irrelevant it just is whether I accept it or not but you knowing that it's your being that I'm relating to and it's your actions that are are not at all my focus at all like I have no focus on your actions if you were to come to me and say I've been up to this and that and the other what do I do I would give you advice I would say yeah you're right that's probably going to be harmful and and Scatter you out so let me help you so the um but your being is Untouchable okay now this doesn't necessarily mean I like you or love you you're probably like me you'll probably love me but me acceptance yeah You' be like hey this guy gets me and he like because most people don't do that right this guy gets me he's good with me and I really love him but you understand my accepting it doesn't necessarily mean I love you what would it be what would love be right so that's I was asking because in terms of kids like often times I think that's the biggest issue not a parent but is that the parents looking for their kid to behave certain ways to get the love they withold love and it's similar to Acceptance in the way you were talking about acceptance earlier right but but what would it be to love you or for you to love me so you might love me because I am accepting you fully doesn't necessarily mean I'm loving you okay so what it would mean for me to to love you would be we got ourselves in a bit of a spot right now let me explain why because there's two things in this whole entire planet that have no definition two things have no definition and people don't know this and I even saw who I consider one of the smartest people alive which is Jordan Peterson absolutely fumble the ball for like 45 minutes maybe even an hour where he decided he was going to explain love because normally you just throw a subject at him and he's just great at riffing on it and he'll riff his way to like explain that subject like nobody else so he there's a video out there I wish I had down downloaded or something so I could show it to you but I wouldn't know how to find it he thought hey I'll just Riff on love and he tried to Riff on it and he just completely missed it and it's not like he doesn't love his wife for his kids and it's not like he doesn't have love he does have love and he has strong love but he tried to Define it you know the other thing that has no definition the other one yes sure I oh to decide yeah oh one sec before you do that I'd like to hear um and R nor Weinberg also has a definition which which I don't necessarily agree with but the um what's the other thing that has no definition excellent God God has no definition and think about it if something has definition so you're saying it's this and not that this bottle has a definition this microphone has this ends here that begins there and they're like they don't don't touch they have edges what is definition it's when you define what it is and what it's not obviously well try that with God what can you say God is that he's not what can you say he's not that he is hippies Define one with the other God is love and love is god well that well that's the thing is is love has no definition God has no definition and and it I think it's very somehow meant to be in and um and the word for one is love in in Hebrew the word one is which equals 13 and the word for love is and if you double the word because there's in the binary nature like there's God and us or there's you and your spouse or you and your kids or me and benan the uh when you double the the love with two people two lovers that's meaning like God for you it equals 26 and 26 is the Y and the hey and the V and the hey equal 26 which is also interesting because that's the ud and the he and the V and the he the four letter name of God has two parts it's the upper UD and the he is the upper and the V and the ha is lower the the the binary world is the V and the he and the the United world is the that's why it says b and it will be when God finally gets dominion over this crazy place's going to become the Mel he's going to be the Mel of the whole on that day that which is above one in his name in the binary word once you're in the world of names this whole world's made of the names and the names is is totally binary I mean it's like because he's creating each thing mineral vegetable animal human like and all the vibrational things happening like the a string or the lights in this room or it's all one and there will be a time where we go back to the pre fruit of Garden of Eden and go back to Wess we'll be we will be back back there and we also we have God has 216 years left to get us back there because we know that this whole system is only 6,000 we're on a 6,000 you know there's like six days and then there's shabas six years and then there's sabatical year there's six counts of or seven counts of the the YoVille is seven sevens and then there's the 50th year the Jubilee and then and this world world is 6,000 and then there's a and then we move into a world that's the 7,000th year crazy transformation and the Third Temple and the Messiah and us being able to see through this whole thing has to happen before that yeah coming to a Temple Mount near you now um and yeah your definition of love I'm just don't try too long gets painful after a while goad so love is the recogn of another and judgment and theog I hear and RN Weinberg was uh appreciating the virtues of a person and then seeing the person as those virtues which is deep and special because your virtues are are not you but the thing is is that since your virtues aren't you meaning I might be um I might be very kind but I'm not kind it's not what I am you know you put me in an MRI you get back to the being I can act with kindness but I'm not those virtues I'm not that virtue I I'm this being this deep deep part of God and God himself is not one with his virtues so why would we be you know God chooses kindness but he also chooses wrath which one is he neither choose those are chosen interactions with creation of how he interacts he's his Essence is Way Beyond virtue anyway so we're in a pickle yeah so so the so I can't really Define the feeling of love and and there's also there's a very natural love for your own children and then there's the love you have to work on for example uh you and I could only really have love if we had to invest yeah in the relationship whereas siblings like how many of us have siblings that we absolutely love and we're not investing at all and they love us and we're just totally uninvested and we all major phone calls to them you know to smooth it out a bit investing but the love is 100% there spouse got back to invest if you don't invest with your spouse you the love Fades away day after day the love turns gray like the skin on the dying man it's a pink flight song and uh the so so it's not so clear I think all we can do is figure out if we love someone but not um if they love us so so much for arusa yeah get out of here I feel like we almost got somewhere we almost did the um I can give you a few tips though if you'd like to be loved meaning again you can only figure out if you love somebody um but not if somebody loves you so much it's a little harder to do that but the but there's tips for being loved and uh one of the main tips is share as much about yourself as possible with people I mean obviously don't be a weirdo and uh you know what's it called TMI too much information yeah so what I meant wasn't share as much information as possible but share as much information as appropriate give someone something to hold on to so they can love you if you don't show them any Contours if you're just chic glass you will never be loved cuz what who do they love you they know nothing so if you're going to be a if you're going to be a closed book well you'll be alone yeah so if you don't know if you can't tell if somebody loves you when you're feeling is just a yourself yeah it might be a bit of that projection because if I'm if I if I love you because you accept me so it's me I love and really my my love for you isn't so much love for you it's that you're is that I'm safe with you and we're calling it love you understand my my love for you is that I'm safe with you we're calling it love which brings back the subject of share a lot of yourself with people so they do have what to hold on to you need love handles no I always see it as rock climbing you know you've been to those climbing gyms and you got all these shapes that you put your hands on and I did some climbing in the desert this week which we are going to finish with the desert with the Wilderness but um you have to give people love handles by showing them the Contours of yourself and that really brings a lot of love if you um acceptance is probably the best thing you can do is to have a vibration of acceptance that people feel truly accepted by you that's going to have a really big impact on you being loved sharing yourself is the other big one which I already spoke about is give people love handles and and then you know we've talked about it before the only way you'll ever share yourself is by trusting people and um and definitely trust people trust people the more the more you trusted with the less likely you're going to break that trust you know if I if I handed you a hundred bucks and asked you to deposit it in the bank and I didn't know who you were but I need the 100 bucks deposited you likely deposit it um but if I handed you $10,000 you definitely deposit it because you you it's like 10,000 times the amount of trust was given to you and it feels amazing to be a trusted individual and so we're we're all mixed up when it comes to trust but the more you give someone the more they actually will will guard it it's not the Human been thinking like I should give up as little of myself as possible because I don't get screwed um no that's not right all that does is make people wonder how trustworthy you are because if you're that protective maybe you're not so straight because you're seeing mean you're probably seeing people the way you're see yourself or something and just like you can't just like you're not trusting you're probably not so trustworthy but by shuring much more of yourself and showing people that that trust they're going to they're going to hold that very dear to themselves is that in terms of you stressed an element of mystery spoke about it I want to know mind a lot the balance between the open oh that's funny um so when dating you want to uh you you you want to date as little as possible and come to a decision about the person um what you don't know about the person is is the mystery that becomes the fantasy that it's probably amazing and when you overg get to know somebody the um and you're not married to them well you start to get to know also all the liabilities of marrying this person so you know all the good stuff you know all the liabilities but um it gets a lot harder to ask someone to marry you once you see the liabilities when there's no more Myst there's no more fantasy so so I hear your question so the the way you deal with that is just by minimal dating um four dates the fourth dates also very important not to touch very important no physical contact and also um no d dating for companionship no dating for companionship make it real clear I'm not looking for a companion not looking for a girlfriend or boyfriend that leads to marriage none of that I'm not trying to fulfill some loneliness inside of me to have a companion in my life that's not how you date it's not how you date for marriage anyway and there's something about a person who's only dating for marriage it tends to just um siphon off everyone they should not be dating and then because after a while it becomes known that this guy's only dating people that he might marry not someone you might go out with for a half a year or nine months or a year or two three and what happen is every person who would have been that girlfriend or boyfriend for those N9 months or two years whatever is automatically not on their list of people they would date and so they they they self remove themselves they self- reject they're they're now they are now um uh uh what's it called uh in darwinian when something gets selected out natural selection yeah they're naturally selected out because this person only wants a wife or this person only wants a husband and so it gets rid of all the people who aren't serious and and another important thing is to not show Money looks or body parts don't show Money looks or body parts looks um uh don't you know if you if you really love designer clothing don't let that person see it you know like when you date that person go with your plain label stuff or whatever um I had a friend in La who had a really hot Mercedes like I know like an incredible Mercedes like a real race car of a Mercedes and he also had uh he had like a 30-year-old like piece of garbage four-door Sedan like was like a Mazda from like 1980 or something I mean it was it was it was a miracle the thing actually drove and he took all his dates out in that took all his dates out and that and now he's married 45 years you know with a big fat house and she drives a nice Mercedes and he drives a nice Mercedes and they're uh they're really a beautiful couple like a really beautiful couple and he because think about it anyone you attract into your life based on anything other than who you are means that they don't love you for who you are they love what you're presenting so by not presenting stuff that's attractive which includes wealth body parts um or you know how you dress fashion stuff like that by by not presenting now obviously you should you know shower use soap shampoo deodorant whatever you need and you should look put together but the uh you know definitely get rid of all low mood clothing like never wear low mood clothing any if you own low mood clothing you have low mood clothing L clothing like there's stuff you wear when you're feeling good and there's stuff you you've somehow bought certain it's like hoodies you know like a hoodie is like a low mood clothing object not for everybody but for many people the hoodie is what you put on when you're like you know sweatpants and a hoodie and that's how you're going to roll that day you know so get rid of those just don't even have them in your in your dresser give them away and so that way when you're in that down state you know like this morning I think I woke up lower than I have in a month or two maybe but I did the proper things that you're supposed to do in a low mood one get all the jobs on you got to do as I was busy this morning with everything I had to do to get yourself out of your home so you're around people who know you when you're not in that low State because they'll they're going to interact with you from a different place and you'll just kind of fall into that interaction with which is exactly what happened when I got in here till I got in here I had no idea what was going to happen and and I mean you can see I'm very low energy today but and three is um three is what's three oh Dress for Success so because I'm what did you say G yeah I did that too but the uh dress for success so because I'm part of the k Community we have uh only one outfit available anyway I and if it's shabas you look like this crazy guy and your strial and you're you know you just look like something to reckon with and what's that yeah should yeah you should wear your sh date outfit for for when you're in a low mood but the um but yeah definitely don't have clothing available to you that's not not you know very put together clothing why because in those days where you're not doing so hot you don't have an outfit to go to you're going to have to look put together but but the trick is that if you ever wake up in a low mood and you do you are a kind of person who has multiple outfits wear your finest outfit in the low mood like dress like you're on your way to a wedding or something but that's the day to dress a nice and what happens you leave get out of your house that's the key get out of your house be around people everyone's going to look at you and you just automatically are start you know people are interacting with you as if you're someone to reckon with when you're really feeling like something that you know stuck to the floor and it will affect you over the throughout the day um and then the fourth thing I would offer is kindness kindness is you're such a lost cause today so you might as well meaning you have no life so you might as well work on other people's lives so that's a good day to offer assistance that should be a day of assistance when you're in a low mood like what can you do for other people because there's not much you can do for yourself and the most important thing the fifth thing I'll tell you the most important thing in a low mood is is to not analyze problems in Al lone mood you have what's called an NAD a non analysis day NAD try that term everybody NAD n NAD is a non analysis day that if you ever find yourself in a low mood you have what's called a non analysis day which means that every negative thing you think of throughout the day you let it just scroll by like some kind of digital news story you know don't click on it don't click on any story to get the full analysis you just let it scroll by and it'll be a terrible day but much better to have a terrible day than a terrible month because you're clicking on everything don't click and if you follow all five of those by the way is important to note if you follow all five of those pieces of advice should we review them real quick well I'll tell you the promise if you follow all five I promise you that your low mood will end in 24 hours 24 hours so what do you want 24-hour hard day or 24 weeks so the the five things were Dress for Success get out of the house um what kind kindness kindness for others um do do your list of all the stuff you usually avoid doing that's the day to get everything done and the fifth was NAD non- analysis day and I'll just add that getting out of your house means being around people and they'll just automatically project into you who they know you to be or if they don't know you at least if you're wearing your finest they will you know they'll give you that kind of Nod of like hey you're an actual you know you're self-respecting human being here you know and you and and again get rid of all your don't even have those clothes available that don't put you in that state in the eyes of others and regarding dating is uh a few dates get to know each other a bit not so much long not these long dates not like hours and hours and hours but a couple hours finish the date um ideally you would have a goet because if you want to stop dating if you'd have a goet because if you want to stop dating it's a lot of people keep dating because they don't want to hurt somebody but if you have a go between the go between handles that so it's like you're not hurting them directly um and then um one thing you have to do is on the fourth date you have to tell them uh you have to tell them if something's seriously wrong so three dates getting to know you and the fourth date is um got that three dates getting to know you fourth date is um you have to let them know if something's really wrong you or them with you meaning uh whatever you know someone has a you know their terminal eel or something and they have 10 years left so um their their me their father's uh in a state penitentiary on 30 life sentences you know I mean that that's something they're taking on by marrying you but you don't have to tell them that till the fourth date but fourth date you got to Spill the Beans if there's something that's a potential deal breaker for anyway if anyone wants to really get married then I have a video called the I have a video called the six it's called happy ha a p p e because it's six steps so I added KN um there's it's the six steps for Expedia getting married and you can look that up online it's on Torne time it's on uh YouTube the six steps for getting married just to finish with the Wilderness is the Wilderness is a place that doesn't have people no influencers no influencers in the wilderness so when you're not getting influenced what's left is your own voice and the word for the Wilderness where there are no people is midbar and the word midbar is the word midar midar not mid it's midar it's you're hearing your voice and you'll notice that all the prophets were shepherds so they were hearing their voice they were they were getting connected to their Essence you're not being influenced out there and where you're not being influenced you're getting your voice is getting stronger and and eventually your voice can be so strong and you could be so aligned with Hashem you could get prophecy today we don't have prophecy but maybe well you get some form of it the um yeah the Wilderness is where you you get you get your voice it's where you find your voice it was very noticeable that we were not seeing a lot of people out there this last week when we were out there that we were really out there alone and and um when we came back we hit a traffic jam on its way to Jerusalem thousands and thousands of cars were on the one highway I was so excited to see all these people coming to Jerusalem I was actually very happy and it was two hours out of the desert and then like another hour instead of 20 minutes it should have been 20 minutes there was another hour in traffic and um my wife's like all these people and I was like all these people on their way to Jerusalem you know it's like she caught my vibe really quickly and thank God all these people but it was a shocker to go go that way to go from no influencers to everyone influen um anyway but but we all need to spend some time in in the wilderness we all need to spend that time and I'll finish with a song my brother wrote when he was 12 and this was actually the tablecloths the tablecloths was Sheep music at his bar mitzvah yeah of this song the S he's a my My Brother Sam Glazer he's a virtuoso in composing of songs and he's written more songs than anyone in the history of the world it's a little weird and no one really knows that this is happening but he wakes up every morning he has an he over the decades he's 60 now over the decades he's learned how to um when the song comes they come mostly in his sleep when the song comes he learned how to wake himself up grab an MP3 player he press is record and he says what key it's in what are all the words what's the Baseline what's the drum beat what's the um but it's all the words the chorus the the what's the backup vocals what's the guitar what's the guitar rhythm guitar thing doing all the melodies the bridge I mean songs you know songs at least used to have Bridges you know there after the second verse there's usually a bridge of some sort and then there's a the third verse in a chorus and the bridge is there too and he wakes up every day sometimes there's two three songs there if you do the math and he unfortunately loses all the shabas songs so the shabas songs are lost but um so then he wakes he has no memory of any song he wakes up he brings his MP3 player into a studio he's a he has a whole recording business he's a big beautiful studio so goes into his recording studio he gets on his piano hits the you know the computer to get it recorded and he does the whole song and then it's just filed away in like you know in the where does the US government file away everything I forget the name of there's some place where everything's filed away yeah look CL anyway it gets filed away maybe anyway but it gets filed away and never to be heard never to be no one will ever hear these songs um there's thousands and thousands and thousands every single one is a masterpiece the um there's no song that's like a throw it every like a random song um oh so how do was all start he was seven years old and his his his grade school teacher uh said everyone should write a poem so he wrote a poem called uh uh black no oh my gosh he wrote a song called alone a poem called alone so my mother says my mother's a musician so she says let's sit at the piano and make it a song so she starts playing and like she's got it on the you know on the stender she's she starts singing and then my brother he's seven years old he says no Mommy that's not how it goes he already knew how it goes seven years old she says really how's it go it's hard to sing without crying but I'll sing it alone is when you have some time to spare but do not have anyone to play with or share alone is feeling lonely having none thing to do feeling sad or fearful uncomfortable and blue while all the people are laughing really having fun you feel so [Music] embarrassed you feel feel you're going to run without any friends till the very end and my mother was just like wow and she pulls another poem he had other poems she pulls out a poem called black she says how does this one go black is the night without the Stars it is a rocket going to Mars back black is a bowling ball waiting to ride black is also the night Black is Black is a black is the surrounding of the Stars so bright and black is your father when he says good night black is your father when he says go to bed and black is the color upon your head he had black hair every single thing was like this and it's still going today he's six years old it just keeps going and going and going so the Wilderness the love the Wilderness holds for me no one else can supply just being there makes me happy I will feel it till I die the Rushing Water makes me feel power the mountains give me Pride I'm relaxed by the wind and flowers I feel Joy deep down inside the love the Wilderness holds for me no one else can supply just being there makes me happy I will feel it till I die I will feel it till I die these songs were so complex what was going on around them with whole theme intros and outros and crazy that was 12 years old anyway you can tell I'm pretty excited about My Brother Sam was a total nut but if you're ever in La definitely give him a and he will take you to live music which he does every night Shalom everybody we did it I somehow made it through this class anyway we got a few more sessions today before I fly so thinking of going to SAS tomorrow Rabbi ysf cuner is playing a concert at a inas tomorrow night such a met yeah he's very yeah Wow's Prett good in two days nice oh my gosh we're still live over there yes what's the name of this class oh gosh guys what would you name this I need someone who knows more back Wilderness how do we turn off the live okay it's over there is it still going yeah it's still oh it's a little bit of a lag who's Hightech here I'm not high te but I'm like low good I didn't judge in there just we're still