Rabbi Yom Tov Practical Spirituality: Finding Your Purpose 1/29/19

practical spirituality here in Asia Turin the Old City of Jerusalem overlooking the Temple Mount there are two major aspects of finding your purpose on earth two major aspects there's I like to put them in a Venn diagram because these do get confused by people one is is Jewish you're a Jewish person and the other is Jewish is that you're a you wish person and these both are really important because you've got this like macro purpose and then you got this Micro so this is like purpose you have a macro purpose you have a micro macro and micro purpose and you got to be you know you got to get a bulb done in your life they're both really important to get done and if you try to do one without the other you're not gonna be whole and if you try to do me if you try to do just be mr. or miss self-expression like you know you got a tattoo no one ever had before or you make some big splash out of your life but you never had your connection to the Jewish part so then you know you will not behold as a result if you just say I mean at the right time and real Hashem when it's appropriate and cost-efficient 20 times a day so meaning you do all the Jewish things right but you never lived your unique purpose so then you're you're also not going to be whole you're going to have you know the Oviatt have a check for the Jewish part but you'll have an X for the individuality part so you really have to have both in the in today's modern times the people were people self-expression through out past history was was not a not really great self-expression was was held back quite a bit there was a lot of cultural overtones that were going on in each place that you were just kind of a guy from France or you could be a guy from Poland or you know you were just some some Chinese guy and what's happened over the centuries is people have been emancipated from those cultural persons in a major way and individuality has really become impairment and you see that mostly in you know the last two generations I was recently running a program possible use seminary we were going around the circle and everyone had to say where they're stuck in life so and these are all Hasidic women so we had you know an average age I say was 3035 I guess but there were you know different ages from 18 to 70 anyway so everyone goes around and said where they were stuck when we got to the 7 year-old woman she was only talking about where her husband was stuck with her every single aspect of her life where she was stuck had to do with him meeting me not his issues her issues easily how he was how he was being affected Qi and Q can you grab the seat over here it's a nice seat that's your wink quick faster please way too slow now the anyway the you're good you're good okay so anyway the it was pretty fascinating because you saw him the generations meaning meaning 23 women spoke about where they're stuck and the 24th person who's 70 years old it was all about it was all about someone else which can be unhealthy meaning the likelihood that her Jewishness and her hugeness her not better usually is not very developed but her Jewishness was very developed and she was a little cynic 70 year old grandma you know her Jewishness was very developed and she was kind of watching everything from the I of tuition is like she was always kind of watching to see if something was gonna like somehow betrayed she is from the dream it's five days together we spent hours and hours together and she was kind of kind of watching that the whole time while the other ones were like kind of excited to see if something would leave Jewishness in head - you wish this they were kind of excited about that what you do but we only spoke about this in fact the seminar excels cold the possibly you it is not called a possible Jew whereas here in Asia Tara is where I teach about Jewishness so all day in H when I'm in age I'm talking about the possible Jew and at nights whenever in summer his time in the past with you but these are all part of the purpose of life you have to have them both wired now which one's easier Jewish is much easier depends right well the thing is this Jewish is is you know it's quite delineating you know if any of you people in this room many of the people in this room would like to align with Judaism well we've got like a couple of thousand rabbis they'd be happy to help if on the other hand you'd like to figure out what you're doing here and what your special purpose is we have very few people who are gonna be able to help you with me thank you beautiful we're gonna be handling that stuff so so I'm gonna in other words I'm gonna finish with this one really quickly I understand that we're gonna do you need a table for two hi how you doing welcome this table for you right there you want ya next to this nice lady she's nice that's your new partner so be nice to your neighbor no the you realize I see you all as friends you know why because my kids are in school and where you grew up in this class together and you like know each other like your own smell for years and years and years and literally they stay in class from 3 till 18 they don't leave each other and they're together more than they're at home so those are called your friends they're all above your friends so like so like when the kid comes home they may say my friend was mean to me today or I hate my friend I hate my friend like but they're still your friend so the class is your friend those are your friends you can be getting along with your friends you need not get along with their friends but the people you're with are your friends I like that you so you're all with friends now so everyone say hi to the person next to my friend howdy pilgrim you're with your friends right don't forget that now this is your new friends now okay so the Jewish stuff is Jewish stuff some house someone you do stuff somewhat simple there's basically 613 laws you got to keep and there's 365 of those are negative what not to do 248 of them are positive that's what to do okay those are easy to remember because the 365 negative is like the days of the year and very much correlate two of them and the 248 is easy to remember because 2 plus 4 is 4 2 plus 2 is 4 and 4 plus 4 is 8 and 48 and you got the positive commitments he's remember together they break into 55,000 laws 55,000 laws and depending where you're from you have your cultural over to overtures overtones so for example I'm from I'm from a acidic community he's from a Syrian community from what kind of committed you from regular hospitals Ashkenazi community community community are you how about you okay so anyway there's 55,000 laws and if you want to align further with all of this meaning we're talking about alignment here and we're in a minute gonna be talking about how you're gonna light with your own personality dad stuff but if you want to line with all that so it's very simple as we said before this is the easy one all I have to do is align with 55,000 laws no a lot of them we don't do today in a lot of them don't have anything to do with you but meaning to some of them a lot of them have to the temple and purity and impurity and a lot of them we're not necessarily having to worry about so much today but but it's definitely worth aligning with them and and it's also you know when you build your building so we can look at it like this that the you wish part is here and the Jewish parts here and the earth is here okay and this is this is the building you're building okay and this is the foundations of the building underneath the earth so meaning you'll notice like every Jew in this room is showing up a little differently like I don't look like that guy this guy looks a little more glucose got his pay as minister back here you know so most of what we're really doing this juice is underground it's under the radar and and then there's the you wish is what are you building out of yourself and as as we see and I'm sure you all notice that that people who think ii like not paying any attention to the foundation is fine for example the secular world which is 85% of world Jewry I was raised that way too so people who think you can just build a building without the foundation you'll notice that they that there they become the Leaning Tower of Pisa meaning after a while they're building kind of looks like that later and no that doesn't happen to everybody but they haven't so a lot of people a lot of people have their towers start moving you know south and and that's why you'll notice that would be like divorce or or midlife crisis and and depression from meaninglessness the the yo-yo of Finance you know cuz Western Civ like the more money you have the more you know it's very socially thigh or weenie in like the more money to have more fit you are to survive the more powerful the more you know your big stuff so like so but but money is on a yo-yo it's got its ups and downs so so you find the towers just kind of like sometimes you know money you like sometimes your tower feels straight sometimes it feels like it's tipping over so so having this foundation of the Jewish you know it's funny this one kind of became a why and this one's got a why going on in this one's got a and Jane and so and so they're they're pretty important it's pretty important in this foundation and and just one last thing before we go to the you wish is that um unless your question has to it the Jewish is one more thing about it is that uh is that when I say Jewish I don't mean culturally Jewish none of this do you see anything cultural in this little list of things do anything cultural there there's nothing to remember I spoke about cultural overtones so there are groups of people eighty-five percent of jury has taken all of this thrown it in the wastebasket and they thought singing Hava Nagila oh say Shalom or you know kumbaya or you know you know they thought that was gonna be that that was gonna do it but people should realize that it does not do it because you'll notice all the things that I spoke about the cause leaning towers happen to all the people who only have cultural overtone Judaism I mean if their Judaism has been it's turned out to just be bagels lox cream cheese hava nagila yeah anyone whose Judaism is that is not gonna be having the foundations they're just gonna have a lot of platitudes of you know saying Yiddish words once in a while like when something goes wrong they'll say Oh a Vey but they'll feel very Jewish in that moment but it does not at all do the job and those of us who were keep us full-time you know you get bagels wherever you go by these people because they still want to feel Jewish and seeing a guy to keep us a perfect chance to walk like literally cross the street through traffic I almost die to walk up to someone who looks like me and say like hello which we call begging vague links when you really want to feel Jewish and you see someone who's overtly Jewish and you want to bagel them in some way - we call it bagel and because bagel LOX and cream cheese kind of is that icon of cultural Judaism and so they want to feel that right now and there's no bagel store within 50 miles but they've found you and so they're gonna come and say Shalom or so your question no definitely not definitely not because because this is static and this is dynamic and so you want static in the ground in dynamic around things that are dynamic or fragile they're in stable things dynamic where does the word dynamism mean I mean think about it every one of you has a dynamic personality you have a dynamism to you and what does dynamic mean it means moving it's got movement and and movements not stable hey earth is stable that's stable that's static like the floor of this classrooms static the people walking in and out these dynamic beings that keep walking in and out of here that's not stable we never know who's coming here we never know what's going on here and it's like anything else that's dynamic and music pays good attention to this because you got a rhythm section which is the state static and then you've got the dynamism of the soloist who's maybe playing a solo against it or it's someone singing against it and you know they're they're generally you know you know check out a bass player how stable his personality is versus a lead guitar player of a rock band leave your heart player rock bands lifespan maximally it would be four years old whereas the bass player will probably live to whatever the life expectancy is depending on his relationship to heroine now yeah you definitely want the Jewish person happy not me it's not just not worth hanging any you know is it's not a good coat hook you know it's just your coats gonna wind up on the floor half the time it's not stable well then you're not any you're not in any of that none of this is you why do you think we wear that you seen the tallest with the black strap this black stripe sign you know what that Hollis wouldn't you know it's got the black stripes ashkenazi with blacks time you know what you know those black stripes are their barcode so God knows who's praying there's nothing you wish in the Jewish I mean you can I'm sure the way you say Ashman Israeli or Isis Marie you say improper Isaac bro I'm sure we've got our unique way of saying it but chances are that we're both including beef we're both saying Baruch Hashem it okay Tamela oh you know we're probably saying the same words you know I mean it's not there's nothing unique to you saying a bra for me singer brother we're gonna be you'll have your experience at all in my experience but to unveil it's the same so so there's no there's no real Jewish here yes you do but you're busted when you get upstairs you see every Jew is born every Jews born with a hook in their mouth okay you all look lovely by the way with your hook in your mouth right now but you were born with a hook in your mouth and God's the fisherman and if you notice with fishermen they have they have is that are we allowed to say fishermen in 2019 Fisher people you'll notice with Fisher people you'll notice with Fisher people that they that they're pretty chill they're pretty chill so like if you were with a Fisher person and you caught a fish you wouldn't be that chill cuz like you know you got a 20 pound bass on your line you feel like the Bulls getting yanked out of your hand so you're gonna be the yank back and you're gonna yank back which is a good thing to do at the beginning cuz if will lodge the hook deeper in them live but then knowing you you just be like Lowell that's really and then it snaps the line the fish gets away with the hook as well and and all is lost but a fisherman's chill when the fisherman catches the fish it feels the fight and then there's a little cog on the reel that lets out line because this fish is fine it doesn't want to go with the catch it wants to get away and so it fights it tries to get away and so so the real you got tons of line there you just let it go just let it go give some tension the reel has a gear keeps the tension you can adjust it and just let it go let it do its fight and eventually it'll get tired and and you feel it's not fighting it everything is reel it in and you're good so all of us are born with a hook in our mouth and there are people who try to swim away from the boat and gods like the Fisher person got his chill and he just oh you want line and haven't you guys wondered sometimes why God lets people do such stupid stuff even God is contributed he's clearly in control of things because you see he's orchestrating her whole life so he's totally in control of things yet he lets you do really stupid stuff whenever you feel like it and he'll even orchestrate it for you because how are you gonna do your stupid thing if God doesn't say you know okay that's dumb but I guess I'm in and then just totally over orchestrates the dumbest thing you've ever done in your life orchestrates it for you and make sure everything works for you that you get to like destroy yourself spiritually or emotion or any other dumb thing we do financially like he'll just allow you to do that to yourself cuz God just let the line out cuz why is God so relaxed why he's got a chill where's the hook it's in your mouth and if you think well geez you know someone could do that for 70 years someone could fight tell me what's time when it comes to an infinite mean nothing you think any time elapsed since this class began I think any time elapsed since you were born there's no time there's no such thing as time that's why you can't even think of now cuz the second you'd think of now I'd already be in the past there's no such thing as time time is a psychological event it's your known event times a psychological non-event that that just is your ability to recollect things that happen so that you can project accurately into the future but other than that there's only now and there's only been down there's never been anything but now and God only created now and that's all that there ever was there's only been now since the beginning of time well there's no beginning of time because there's only now but there's always been there and the and so there will be zero time elapsed from the day you were born to the day you die while you're in this projection here and one of the ways you know it's a projection is you'll notice that you've only ever had it now you've never had anything but now think about it has there ever been a single moment in your life that you've ever had other than now when you were there you were only now anyway in the past you were in the now right then now of course some of us blow it and we're always projecting ourselves away from now which is which is a horrible thing to do because it's leads to a lot of anxiety and and as we spoke about yesterday much overprotect way over protection from the greatness you would achieve if you weren't so you know always so and what the right word is padded vigilant protected so but now is all that's ever been and and the more your the more you stay mindful of that the more you would be happy and be connected and and have a relationship with God ultimately because any other relationship with God is it's not is it any other relationship with God will be a conceptual relationship whereas the moment that's now that is the overflow from infinite to finite is the relationship that is the relationship and obviously when someone comes into essentials as a spiritual seeker and they want to find God so we would tell them that well good luck good luck because you know if you want to go find God you know you spent a long time trying to do that and you're gonna come up empty-handed trying to find God it's not a good idea you know it's like if your kids are doing a treasure hunt but all the treasures are in the house and they'll go flying out the door to look for it you know but meanwhile it was a middle wintry we're not planning an outdoor treasure hunt it's a snow storm or blizzard there's terrains out there you tell your kids okay treasure and they all go flying out the door for the first hint treasure hunts inside trishettes right here right now inside and the treasures happening right now so finding God is is a is a sorry task given to the children of mankind and having a relationship with God which is just this moment and it's great and this is why I created years ago I'm it's not my creation but I stated it in principle if you're taking notes and that principle is that the spiritual person sensitizes his or herself to God in the moment the spiritual person sensitizes his or herself to God in the moment and what's really cool this is you know a side point but what's really cool is that when you add the Jewish calendar to this so then what's happening is it's not just now it's now Pesach or it's now pour him or it's now Shabbos or it's now Russia Jean or it's now too much pot and you kill like get yourself all hooked up because you'll notice there's all these positives and negatives surrounding that holiday which means you're like avoiding certain things and then going into certain things and so between that which you avoid and that what you're doing for that holiday like you're avoiding comment but you're grabbing at the matzah or you're grabbing at these four cups of wine and you're you're so yeah now is now and that's where God is but what about doing that in the process of mitzvahs there time-bound which is really interesting because because there's no time but the relationship of a Zodiac which you know like literally perfectly precisely moves feasibly the earth has its own energy that's coming down as those nows as all those nows are happening there's energy that flows and our holidays are come on Ian guys what you've done you don't to come in or you had to grab this lady we're just getting started me neither you know the word bleed neder Oh bean it means it's that you're not busted upstairs if you didn't come back try it bleed neder good it means without an oath yeah I don't want you to get popped for saying that but I bless you to come back we've had this like you know as an outreach organization all the outreach organizations today have to have to still pretend we're doing outrage we just have to we have no choice it's like do the bat or clothe you know I made a lot of people on salary and stuff so we get very excited when we actually have someone who wasn't raised observant in the classroom which today out of every 40 students are probably 2 or 3 and those and those of you who are raised anyone here raised not observant you should know that that this whole place was created for you and all the all the the people were raised observant today is a chance for you to get the Torah that no one ever taught you because they generally they generally avoid that the Torah we teacher is generally avoided for people raised up servant because it just it's a whole other set of information that's that's kept away from people because it's Asia tour is known for asking questions that are in answering questions but it's it's a conversation that's that is intellectually honest and and when when you if you don't know how to have that kind of conversation so you can actually exclude it from your from the schools you know I mean like we'll just say as my Yiddish speaking daughters say cuz they've learned over the years don't ask too many questions they're considered schools but they they say they say shy list like maven yoga yes no questions okay now the where we have let's get back to where we were so now we're finding our special purpose than our special purpose is we've done the Jewish part and that is to align as Jews and then there's the you wish part is is what are you here to do now if you don't know your special purpose at your age right now if you don't know what you're doing here so I hate to say if you're in trouble you know you're gonna be a little stuck you know why because you know in order to build something there's a principle you got to clear the way for building something you know if you want to cook something or bake something and you you got a bunch of other stuff on the counters cuz you never cleaned up the last project you're not really gonna be begging anything for about an hour because there's work to be done till you can clear a space for that if you want to build a building you're gonna have to spend some time digging and right now you're in a building that we watched for what was that about two years because they couldn't bring heavy machinery and they couldn't be you know they couldn't just bring in those major kanockers that knock down that knock into the ground because the old city is just too fragile so they had to do it I mean it was crazy watching them do this for two years you know they were drilling just with regular drills big drill has been drills and then hit fill it with molten metal that would expand overnight and break up more earth and then I mean watching this was like Chinese water torture because it took so long to create this building even now you probably are now you're about ground level anything under here I think that was already under ground whatever the to find your special purpose chances are you're going to have to you're gonna have to remove the dirty dishes and what do I mean by that what I mean by that is what's really important to it is your natural personality your natural personality now does anyone in here know what their natural personality is meaning not the one that you socialize with and that you're trying to let the world know about but the actual real one the one that was given to you by God thank you you know what that is it's not so simple that's assuming to figure that most people actually had ages four to twelve learned to hate the natural personality because it's um it's not that they don't like the natural personality it's just that it's so vulnerable you know one of the reason I'm a happy person is I'm allowing myself full vulnerability all the time I don't know if you guys noticed that but I let myself be very vulnerable because I've embraced that natural part of me that's from childhood and I mean you're talking to someone who you know I was this macho surfer punk you know surfed for six to eight hours a day for twelve years straight all around the planet and I hadn't cried I don't think in 20 years like I was the polar opposite of vulnerability that the natural personality child has so it took me a while they've kind of find myself I had to I had to break through a lot of layers to get to that natural self but unfortunately that's part of the work you know and as I was saying before this is the hard work this may take a lot of surrendering to your tribal traditions which is work that's where surrender yourself because think about it the only thing between you and this is your ego here it's kind of also true the only thing between you and your natural personality's also your ego because think of a way what is your personality today if not a fortress isn't is it not a fortress around your heart meaning that full neural heart isn't your personality today just a fortress it's amazing we're even able to get married because like what is getting married to getting married is like taking the fortress down and letting someone in there and then maybe put them for cures back up around both your hearts but the but we're our personality today is way fortified and and we are we are highly insulated from from vulnerability and and that's unfortunately become really who we let the world know we are which is not our natural person so step one is we step ones not you wish step one is is no one otherwise known as a soul and step two is the natural personality so we got we'll put it in step step boys know what no one means is that's descriptive that's the that's the say sir I'm on the sleeveless that's that mean you got to take all that personality and scrape it scrape it and scrape it until you're down to no one once you're down to no one which is a courageous place to be being known and it just happens that when you finally get to no one you can actually allow yourself to be stripped down in no one what happens when you get to no one is you realize no one's really someone who is that someone yeah and who is that someone that someone is the soul but what's funny about it is nothing unique about it like what's the difference in years of mine nothing and so and one of the beauties of being no one is it takes you off the scale of comparison meaning meaning if I'm someone so then I'm someone compared to you smarter dumber you know I'm either smarter number than you more capable more handsome less handsome it's you know stronger weaker you understand it so you're in a world of comparison when you're into some one part of yourself you've entered the world of comparison and once you're in the world of comparison connection is going to be difficult or impossible yeah well if you're in the someone version and you're in therefore you're automatically put in a position of no real connection of competition of some way I mean in every way really every single aspect about yourself is either gonna be up on a scale of higher or lower than the person you're in width and and that will automatically make connection impossible because because it's just like let's say you're let's say I'm dumber than you yeah and you're smarter than me so so you're gonna have to put up with me and I'm gonna have to put with you you have to put up with hanging out with a dumber guy and I got to put up with kind of feeling dumb when I'm around you but it's worth it to be connected to each other so you're you're automatically in all relationships you're in some level of compromise and so whereas when we're and you and it might be a beautiful thing like hey our connections worth the compromise but the but when you're coming from the soul place Wow yeah I mean you become a sea of love and I own that website in case you're gonna go online I own I'm a sea of love calm and that's where I actually store all these videos on Facebook if you go into Facebook and go to that particular go to I'm a sea of love calm you'll find all these videos and but when you're coming from that place it's the no 1 place in the soul place well you're a sea of love another thing that's amazing what's your name over there no Nelson another thing that's amazing there is once you're now in that connective no one place something very beautiful happens in that that is that your your level of concern for the other goes up a lot because think about it if you're in the someone place your number one thing is your own personal survival in every interaction then you got it you're gonna have that this is gonna you want this to be going as smoothly as possible when you're interacting with somebody that's your number one to go your number one goal is not the other person and I'm gonna go you should get through this someone in tact by the time you're done interacting with the world or a person or your family or Thanksgiving or a saw tonight you gotta somehow survive that somewheres once you're in the know one place so you've left that survival mode and you are actually genuinely interested in other people to the no one mode there's two major steps one is one is to figure out what you've been saying about yourself in the negative you know what's your inner negative speech like what is your bad self talk and then step two is what have you what have you how have you fortified your personality to make sure nothing triggers it I mean what personality moves little chess moves you made to protect the King so you guys want me to write these two steps so the process of becoming no one is step one is negative self-talk you gotta get in touch with the words and you need the actual specific words not enough can't be vague like language like dumb worthless ugly you know incapable all the horrible stuff the more horrible it is the more likely it's accurate it's just the way people are we go to the Horrible's statements we don't go to that our degree we don't go to that like not such a genius we don't say that inside we say stupid well said so the negative so talking and the second thing is to use the the the fortress or will say that but chess moves the personality chess moves you've made okay the four deuces personality chess well I'll give a quick example but I don't want to go too deep in in there because you asked about the purpose of life so the negative self-talk would be like weak and worthless okay a personality a personality a chess move would be independent I don't need nobody you have to get rid of those things complete you see ya bad things yourself yeah I mean you want to keep like the unity like your wife says you know can you throw out that bag of dirty diapers like can I keep one no I don't want any negative self-talk no like how do you I don't know you have zero tolerance for it until have negative self-talk but how long how long do you think when I hear a negative thought about myself in my head how long do you know what do you think by a level of tolerance is for it how zero tolerance like zero I got the talk I heard the talk and I know where that's going that's going to some kind of move I'm gonna do some move to like not feel that way about myself and and then I know my moves which is really good to know your moves you got to know your moves cuz if you know your moves they're like street signs about the road you're going down number ones the road you're going down you're going down that negative self-talk road and if you know your moves well you see the signs say well I know where they have gone like I know the second I'm going to be cool or the second I'm gonna be funny or the second I'm gonna be charming second of them to start pulling those things off the second I'm to be like the know-it-all you know under the second I'm gonna like sabotage my sleep late at night instead of go to bed like a normal human being and wake up properly in the morning the second I'm going there I see the sign I know that part of me I know that little Fortress of mine so the self-talk would be I'm a failure or I'm up I'm up I'm coming to hear if you and negative stuff like me I'm a because think of it if you go to sleep late you're off the hook in the morning either your sleeves no one's expecting him to succeed or your you woke up with little sleep now you're zombie and no one expects him to succeed and so you're off the hook but the negative self-talk would be words like incapable ill-equipped irresponsible not as good as fill in the blank whoever's in your family that was good at everything not good enough not good enough yeah whatever it goes on and on and on idiot you know incompetent bunch of stupid things what fortress bunch of dirty diapers in that bag and and then of course now there's other people they're gonna go to bed at 9:00 and maybe up at 5:00 and they're gonna workaholic their way through life you understand they're gonna over achieve their way through life because that's their chess move and that's called fight I'm when it comes to failure I'm a fly I just I just stay up real late watching YouTube intellectual darkweb stuff you know and Jordan Peterson vs. sam Harris you know the next two hours so I go I go like I go like full sabotage so that I'm a zombie in the next day or I'm asleep more likely the second one and the and the anyway those are my moves but when it comes to the fear of rejection thing I love them likable and all those things I'm a fighter like I'm gonna be charming I'm gonna be cool I'm gonna be you know the guy so it depends on your fear is how you relate to your fear okay would you take down what you say fortress well yeah that's when you come to no one you're now vulnerable but vulnerable means penetrable impenetrable means there's a chance now for a relationship and there's also a chance now for compassion criticism would be great and you get compassion and your your your your your your your evolving now you're actually a human becoming rather than a human being who's stuck you're actually a human becoming because you're you're malleable cuz you're not no of course it always hurts to get criticism from anybody but but but you're much more likely to accept it well he's an hour later you know blue on it for a while you know just get stingless the but your chances are you'll move to that criticism if you're coming from that no one place it's very good everything's good about no one and nothing's good about someone okay nothing's good about someone someone is a disaster it is a it's a nuclear blast that just takes everyone's hair out what somebody I mean we've been on this for ten minutes that's your question they should be no one oh and you wanna if you do want to be someone so there's a mantra if you want to hear it when you're written to no one stage ready for this for personal purpose there's a mantra ready for this you'll do it with me but I'll teach you to first whoever God calls me into being I we've ever gotten calls me into being see I'm Noah but right now some lady cannot reach the overhead compartment to close it and I'm sitting close by or I'm the only one paying attention of these well that's me You Know Who I am I'm a overhead compartment closing that's why and then and then I'll and and I get home and all my kids haven't seen me in two weeks by the way I'm leaving Thursday for two weeks kids MC me two weeks I am father I am this loving father and and because that's who God's calling me into being of course my wife's looking at me the whole time like you know when do we get to also say hello my kids already used to that they know they're all gonna get augs I'm gonna flunk my bags into the room and let my wife put all the gifts inside that she bought in Israel and and because I never have time to shop and and then you know we put all the bed all the presents into my suitcase and but when I'm there I'm loving husband and right now I'm a teacher and right now I'm out of here because the band is here any questions outside [Music]