Practical Spirituality

okay all right hello um zoom seven participants admit oh waiting room three go into that youtube spot i wanna make sure it's hi everybody welcome i'm just uh making sure that the um happy to have everyone here just gonna make sure everything's uh working properly we had a blackout israel's having a major storm and i am i am now in the process of um the process of doing this class from my phone but i just gotta get it all uh get it all lined up we're almost there um close that okay then we're going to turn this sideways hopefully youtube's working and i won't do that longer class today recording pause recording fun make sure you're all muted please double check that you muted your phone and then i think i can mute everyone upon country we're almost ready uh oh let's see if i can just allow princesses maybe we'll bail on that for now and now we're on youtube and unfortunately people aren't muting on entry but shalom everyone uh welcome we're um oh i'm gonna pin my video in sync we're gonna be whispering out there for a few minutes thank you so much um and then i'm gonna pin my video let me see if i can do that spotlight for every one of these i don't know if that means post me just call to read hopefully pin is synonymous with spotlight but i don't know um bye-bye thank you for having me no i think we're good hopefully it pins it down okay hey everybody what's up welcome sorry it took me a little while we're um we're in a blackout here israel's having a major storm it's going to start snowing in jerusalem and uh in two hours which is very exciting the kids go nuts to have snow here so um today's class is about how to be loved now it's a very interesting question by the way how to be loved because and we're going to whisper out there please the the reason it's um rock climbing ask you really be careful this time okay really careful like keeping in mind the whole time i have one daughter who's let's just say she's uh particularly self-expressed um anyway the i would love a cup of water too please so it's like this it's an interesting title at all all together just how to be loved because it admits that you want to be loved but what i found is people want to be loved like more than anything i think it motivates people more than anything people are highly motivated by what who would you know what can i do or say who can i be that would be loved and it i think it shapes our facial muscles because that's how we present it shapes our clothing it shapes our um perhaps our financial ambition so much of our lives is totally dedicated to how to be loved so this class is about how to be loved because deep down it's very important to people and in fact when someone feels like they're not being loved when someone feels like there's you know that people don't love them so they're they like lose sleep you know they think about it they ruminate about it like why don't they love me like what did i do you know what's the problem aren't i aren't i worthy of love and um and to the point of even getting defensive like you know screw them you know can be quiet out there please anyway um so let's get into it the there's a couple really important things about um how to be loved um one of them is to be be very loving that's a pretty obvious one but to be very loving now you might be saying because i'm not even sure if i'm loved so you know i'm if you ever see someone in public being loving i mean you're at a an event of some sort someone's being very loving if you ever see someone being loving like that they're sending out a vibrational subliminal message they're letting everyone know unconsciously that they are a safe address for love to occur by being loving you're already letting everyone know that you're safe for love whereas when you're kind of pulled in tight you're kind of like like that you know and you're not really putting yourself out there you'll notice that everyone feels awkward around you so when you're when you're not loving others no one feels safe around you and when you are being loving to others people feel very safe [Music] and it's um you know it's one of those things there's a few things that you know you give the more you give the more you get one of them is trust the more trust you give more trust you'll get um one of them is yes the more yeses you give the more yeses you'll get in life i think if you if you live in a yes world and you say yes every time you can people will say yes to you much more and the so that's the yeses and also the um love the more you love the more love you get and so if everywhere you go you make sure that you're the most loving person there so people will just automatically feels safe to look back now here's the next here's the next major one um i shared this the other day i think in this practical spirituality uh platform but but i i shared this i think i did i'm not sure but i was with 40 hasidic young men 40 hasidic and single young men now something about if you're from the hasidic community one thing you never do is share of yourself you don't share of yourself like that's like that never happens and it's really funny because in our generation the whole thing is sharing yourself like everyone just you know people are like facebook this is what i'm meeting that's what i'm doing this is how i'm feeling this is what someone did to me that's what i did to someone it's like people are sharing stuff that like people shouldn't be sharing like just share crazy stuff on uh online so if you're a hasidic young man even i'm probably similar to the girls although they probably have a best friend they share you don't share of yourself at all no sharing of yourself um it it's a european you know it's kind of left over from europe it's a part of this whole culture of uh you know european lifestyle um but but holding your poker cards very close to your chest is the way it's done and you you don't put your card you don't let anyone see the cards you're holding and so i was in a room of 40 hasidic young men i was leading the experience and let's say it was more like there were 40 men but there were 30 of them were a facility now there was a person in the room who was the least likely that anyone any of them would connect to he was raised not observant he was very secular yeah his background was broken family there was addictions there was a pretty messy situation but because he wasn't raised husitic he just raised his hand and started sharing in the group and miriam we're going to whisper for the next period of time please thank you anyway the so he had he had uh you know shared himself fully and while he was sharing these 30 boys who are the least likely to have related to him like when they were all sitting there it's the first day they're all sitting together in my program before uh you know it's four days together so they're all sitting together when he shared him when he they all walked in many of those hasidic boys came up to me and said he is the last person i would have ever related to like i walked in just going like i might relate to some of these people that guy not anyway while he was sharing i was watching everybody look at him you know they were in a they were in a big giant semicircle in the hall of 40 men and i was in the front and i'm looking at all of them and they're all looking at him he's sitting at the middle of the semi circle and the room got warm and the room got loving and the room got carried and all of these hasidic boys felt so much love for this boy he was sharing this young man he was from england and and i said to them stop everybody take a moment and feel this feeling you're having for this young man what is that feeling called and uh one one not one of those is even what another guy of the nine others raises it he says it's it's love and i was like that's right you all love this guy right now you all love him and then i asked the group i said why do you love this guy you don't even know who he is you all just came in for your first day of this program like why do you love him and then someone else raised their hand of the eight guys left we're non-hasidic and he raises and he says because he shared because he shared and and i said exactly you all loved him because he shared yet you all don't you all are desperate to be loved every one of you are desperate to be loved you lose sleep over it but you don't share so isn't that interesting isn't that interesting the world desperate to be loved the surefire way to be loved is to share and yet we don't share it's like it's crazy like it's a simple formula it's a simple formula how to be loved like simple formula share be loved it's that easy share your life and be loved we all want to be loved deeply share your life people will love you now i know a few rabbis who are loved who you know but you'll notice that and i'm one of them one of the rabbis part of being a rabbi who's loved this is how much you share the more you share the more you're loved and share openly and honestly and real you know you're loved and the funny thing is is you have so little to gain by not sharing you know we were just learning in the gemara how in the talmud we were learning recently that that someone who um that if someone i'll answer a question a little later that if someone is impure and i get sent out of the camp of israel because he's impure or she's impure they're supposed to say tame tommy they're supposed to tell people walking by tommy tummy which means impure impure and one of the reasons why they do that is that people will pray for them people will beg god for mercy for this person you see when you share people feel for you when you share what you're going through people want to help you don't have to be so isolated there are solutions out there you don't have to live without solutions because you can't come up with a solution there are people with solutions i recently saw a youtube video of some um i forget who it was what it was but the person had was getting large audiences and people tell what their problem is and a large audience it's like a thousand people in there and your job in the audience was if you could help the person with the issue you raise your hand and you tell the resource that you that you possess or someone you know and they make matches so whatever your problem is someone who has a solution for it will solve it it'd be a great idea to have a website like that where people put out what they're missing or what they're lacking or how they're hurting or how they're suffering or what they're ailing of and and then you read it everyone loves arena it's like gossip you know like you know people love hearing other people's suffering but your job is if you have the solution you you know chime in i'm sure wouldn't that be a cool website that'd be very cool and like an app you know you get to actually hear people how they're suffering and people other people kick down a solution i guess we'd have to make a rule that it couldn't be financial because what would happen every single person needs money yeah you know what i'm suffering i need i need to i need a quarter million dollars for a down payment for my house and people like yeah you and everyone else on the show so it would have to be something other than down payments analysis no i want to i want to discuss a little bit more about this sharing because first of all it could be inappropriate you know there's sharing yourself needs to be somewhat safe that's number one secondly it has to be sensitive you know you ever met someone who overshares that's someone who you want in your phone for sure you definitely want to get their their name and your phone connected to their number you know why so you know who not to answer okay so there's something called over sharing like you know as you're saying someone's cup you're just exhausting people with your sharing so you don't wanna you gotta be careful over sharing you gotta be in the right situation for sure and we discuss that often when we talk about the ten spheros because sharing is you're sharing gabor is what i mentioned those hasidic boys only do or there's no shame there's only with the sharing so and but what i will always want to be in is into ferrous to pharah system and check out the situation that's that's the the tenth of the ten spheros i always look at the situation the situation is called malthus i always look at mountains and i say how much should i share and the if if this situation is that i can share fully so i i tell governor that's the limitation i talked about no governor necessary this could be a full chair i could even cry and so let the hazard flow if it's like should definitely share but be careful how you share them a good example is i'm i'm uh you know i do uh i get hired in public speaking you know sometimes uh you know like these are these like corporate talks where there's like an end of the year dinner for some company or whatever or i get asked to speak at a synagogue first about or i get whatever the thing is but i get asked to speak now what do i do when i get asked to speak when i get asked i i have to ask a lot of info because i need to know how much is appropriate to share you have that slimy i gotta i gotta figure out what's appropriate to share so if it's a bunch of like uptight medical doctors in in teaneck new jersey you know no offense if you're in tinic new jersey but compared to a hasidic audience you're uptight okay and so if it's if it's that kind of environment so i shouldn't be overly sharing you know that's not appropriate to share if i'm in a hasidic environment the content needs to be shared appropriately if i'm in las vegas you know at h las vegas for champions zero filters the less filters the more they enjoy it's like it's like they would they would they would probably appreciate donald trump speaking of no filters they would probably appreciate donald trump to go there for shabbat and and speak to them and each you know at each prayer service because he would definitely not filter himself he wouldn't know how to um no i was um i was thinking about um that whole campaign for trump that i i i have no access to donald trump but i could have donald trump if i had been listened to then donald trump would be the president of the united states right now you know what i would have done i would have gone to his campaign managers and i would have told them you want to ensure that donald trump is president don't let him speak at the first debate don't let him speak you should just give it all the bite give it to the moderator and the bike if he wants to answer a question one word answers yes or no don't let him open his mouth and and none of you are going to do this but if you wanted to you could actually go back and track that when donald trump walked into that first debate and didn't let forget he didn't let biden speak and let the moderators speak he embarrassed the us internationally that he couldn't handle himself in a debate in a presidential debate so that was it that was it he lost he lost the election on that one thing had he just been quiet and let biden choke as we all saw him joking joking joking joking joking jokes since he's president he would have just choked and it would have been in the whole campaign that they made biden the guy would have been a joke because he wouldn't have been able to say anything and trump would have won the election so anyway when you approve that was just a side example but an interesting thought but the that's about filtering and filtering has to be you got to filter appropriately but sharing nothing is a ticket to spend your whole life wishing you were loved and never having it happen sharing nothing is a direct ticket to living a life without love period that's it you want to live a life without love great don't share you want to live a life of love share your life and when i say share life again i'm also not talking about like random like not on tick tock you know not on instagram somebody 3d yeah 3d share your life 3d with people be involved with being with people and share yourself with those people okay i'm willing to take some questions now um so let's check out uh any questions here i don't think i can get to the youtube page so i apologize to everyone on youtube today because i'm a way to blackout uh the building where i have my studio let me see where i can find the chance in the suck questions chat okay one person sent a question what does one do if someone around him doesn't like to share at all and they are close family whoa that's a bomb question i mean i'm taking for granted that you're talking about you already made it completely safe to share meaning you've already shared fully with this person you've you've put you only expect them to share when it's perfectly safe for them to share you know i should be good at this because people who never share with anyone seem to share everything with me since i'm a little kid little kid like i just have random adults like walk up to me and share their deepest secrets it was crazy you know i i found i skied a lot more if i didn't ski with somebody because i get to get to the chairlift and just go up with single you know go up single so it was a three-person chair i could jump on as the third person or if there was only one prison there i would jump on with that one person anyway i met a lot of people going up the chair lifts we did a lot of skiing growing up and um what would happen if it was a one-on-one on the chairlift is whoever i was riding up the chair left away they would tell me everything about themselves and and whatever their problems are and it was really weird because i was a little kid i'm like nine years old when i was 11 years old and when we get near the top of the chairlift you know so whoever this guy is you got to be pretty wealthy to ski so you got this like lawyer you know 56 year old boy and he says i have not just told you man that's what happens you know i take the chairlift when i hear about people's lives now the the so let me think if i can reverse engineer this of getting someone to share so a safe environment as i mentioned [Music] i've already shared fully so you know they see i've shared phonies so they're now sharing um i'm sorry they're invited to share fully because they see i'm i'm feeling safe to share so i must be safe here i would drop hints sometimes that nothing you say would ever leave this situation um or i'll say it outright even i'll just say it out right um i'll i'll say to them maybe something about sharing and the importance of sharing maybe i'll i'll even scare them a little that people don't share the stuff they need to share just kind of festers and rots develops mold inside and kind of messes you up it's a bit of a negative reinforcement um i would give them alcohol i remember you know my my fam when my family was coming close to torah um starting with my father's bankruptcy happened and my father lost everything and it became like a total ticket for me to start a new life for myself and i moved to jerusalem and became observable and my brothers started to are then my parents my brothers but i had one brother who like doesn't share and there was this there is this khabad rabbi 82 years old now this is a story going back 25 years the um this rabbi applied my youngest brother with vodka they drink one whole glass of vodka and another whole glass of wine and glass wagon now by the third glass i noticed my brother's starting to share and so i left i left because he'll probably share even more if his older brother's not bird drink a fourth glass of vodka six hours later my brother's just sobbing and really sharing his heart with this rabbi and later my brother comes up to me he's like he's like he's a good rabbi he's a good man in other words i got to share my life i got to share my life with someone and i like him um made a big difference in my brother's life those four cups of vodka and rabbi moshe schloss of the old city over who overlooks his roof overlooks the wall our bias that that really made a massive massive difference so alcohol may help um i'm sure there's plenty of other compounds that would help as well but we'll stick with the legal ones right now and um uh what else would make someone share anyone else say i want to take a stab at this you can chat in we're not doing words right now because it keeps we have not figured out by the way how to get how to get if someone can help me we need to figure out how to get zoom not to send the camera over to the person who talks because that's not good for tour anytime we can't seem to find that setting including my my the guy who manages like me and the touring time staff makes no sense but there's got to be a setting that makes sure that the camera doesn't anyway and that was our only question at least here i'll take a look if i can get to youtube in sync see if there's any questions over there um but i don't know exactly how to go there uh here's youtube well i hope it wasn't sideways the whole time um was i sideways this whole time on youtube i hope not anyway um but maybe i can look if there's any questions here subscribers wow and for almost 4.3 000 subscribers that's good for paying absolutely no attention to that live chat ah here we go it's all sideways i have to turn my head here and lots of shaloms uh no one here asked me to mention jesus that's good um normally there's always the comment can i please mention jesus um everybody are sharing data with agencies online world living online we are almost naked trying to hide anything online good luck um okay no question so listen everybody uh i'm just gonna say that send my love to everyone and please god will be on tomorrow hopefully back in my studio and um yeah does anyone have if any of you have any more questions so you can you can uh i don't know we'll answer them tomorrow because we have guests coming in here right now okay shout out everyone