Rabbi Yom Tov Glaser #whatapod EP. 13 | ENGLISH

You know, each one of us are created in the image of God. >> [music and singing] >> There's nothing less manly than showing up to a man for help. >> So, every emotional thing has a physical effect? >> Right. >> [music and singing] >> All of a sudden I stop. And I'm like, Shalom aleichem my boys. So, today we have the honor finally having Rabbi Yom Tov Glaser on the podcast. And funny enough, I remember you from when I was 7 years old. 7? Maybe 6. How old were you in 1991? Taf Shin Nun Aleph, probably 5. Okay. Probably 5. >> Well, you may not remember. I remember you though. You had long hair at some point. Not when you met me, but right before that. Yeah. I remember the Moshav Ohr Orah shows with Chaim Levin by the weddings. What about the shows? You guys were rocking out. For me, this was the biggest show. >> We were always on stage during the meal. Yeah. >> We were always the the uh For me, this was the most exciting thing that I had as a kid. >> Are you saying I never watched anything. I never knew about the outside world. Moshav Ohr Orah, Yom Tov Glaser, Chaim Levin doing their thing was the highlight. It was the best part of the whole cheder. Mhm. Beside they beat me up every day in cheder, so I was looking forward for these shows. Wow. Wow. Yeah. I For me, these weddings and these things it was like a uh a peace breaker. It was like a arei miklat for me. Wow. So, Rabbi Yom Tov, can you tell me a little bit of You want to introduce yourself for a minute for some chassidim that don't know you yet? There is some mondel people here that haven't I know they don't see statuses. In a word. >> Introduce myself? >> Yeah. I'm a nice Jewish boy. Right. Lives in Jerusalem. Yeah, I live in Jerusalem. I'm I'm in a community called Buter Broider, which is a chassid in Jerusalem. I'm It It looks like Mea Shearim. It looks like Mea Shearim. Feels like Mea Shearim. Sounds like Mea Shearim. But it's like next to the shuk. Next to the shuk, yeah. >> Yeah. And I spend my time mostly traveling and running programs the past few specifically. So we'll go soon in what is the possible view. So I do that and um What else you want me to say? >> That was good good for starters. But the your Pinsker lineage Pinsker and a chassid. But you're a baal teshuvah. Also I wasn't raised from, yeah. Okay, so when was the turning point for you as a Californian kid Mhm. discovering Judaism? How does that work? >> So I was 23 years old and I got a free trip to Israel on one of those, you know, come and learn scholarship programs. Oh, Taglit? Like that. It was before Taglit. >> Okay. >> And it was to Aish HaTorah. So Aish HaTorah ran the program? Yeah. What was it called? Discovery? No. It was called Jerusalem Fellowships. Okay. What happened was my my brother was in Aish HaTorah 7 years before that. Sam? Yeah. Sam found out that there's a God and he found out that Torah is true. Okay. When he came back to LA after a couple months in Aish, he never mentioned it to us. But he kept it as a break glass in case of emergency. And what was the emergency? The emergency was he saw that his brother Yom Tov was not going to wind up being, you know, a real uh uh contribution to Cloudy Israel. Really? And so he decided like I was about to graduate university. I had been surfing around the world. I don't know if people know what surfing is, but maybe Surfing is the people that go on the ocean on the waves. >> you can show them a clip. I just been with the previous year with the pro professional tour of surfing at in France, Spain, and Portugal. So I was going to do France, Spain, Portugal again. And then and then Morocco. Wow. >> South Africa. Wow. >> And then I was going to move to the US. Did I say the US? I was going to move to Australia. Okay. And renounce my citizenship to the US out of protest of the Gulf War in 1991. Really? Yeah. What indicated to Sam >> liberal. Okay. Protesting the Gulf War. When did Sam say, "Okay, I got to stop Yom Tov?" That was when. What is so bad about it like in Sam's eyes or you >> Because Sam discovered that the Torah is actually true. But he didn't do anything about it. Everyone's got their hishbus, you know, like some people By the way, I I asked him later I said, "Why why did you Why didn't you tell me before?" He says or someone asked him, "Why didn't you say it before?" He says cuz I knew if Yom Tov discovered this he would never come back. Ah. Some people find out the Torah is true and they're just like, "Okay, I'll add that to my list of things that are important." He knew you were going to take it much more serious than him. How did he have that cycle? Like how does he know that? >> friends. Wow. So he's 7 years older. Yeah, I was I've been out of school since I'm 11. So because I grew up on the streets. Um, when you grow up on the streets, when you learn something it it's you, you know, it becomes you. You You don't You don't know how to See, people are in classrooms in the world of theory. Everything's theoretical. You don't You don't um, integrate the knowledge with who you are. But if you grow up on the everything you learn is is part of you. It's becoming you instantly. Like you're an instant integrator. Because you taught yourself. >> Yeah, that's why the possible is the greatest seminar in the world. You know why? Because every time I finish a seminar, if someone walks up to me and says, "You know, you could have done this little differently. It would have been more effective." And if they come back the next seminar, they'll see I already put it in. They're like, Wow. >> it in?" I said, "Well, it was You were right." I can tell you big differences that I've seen. I've done the seminar three times. So, I I can tell you, but we're not up to that yet. I'm still trying to figure out. 11 years old, you dropped out of school. Your father and mother are okay with this? You're roaming the streets all day? Like, what's the daily plan? You get up, you do what? Surfing. Really? Yeah, I was riding waves most of the >> Until 23? I was I surfed 6 to 8 hours a day, every day for 12 years straight. That's a life. I mean, when the sun goes Down, then. >> [laughter] >> Did some other things, you know. >> And then Sam says, "After 12 years of surfing, now is the time I'm going to tell him about Yeah, because at that point I was like, oh, at that point I cuz I was graduating university. So, that that would be the reason. >> I didn't go to school all the years, except I wound up in university. When? From your from I don't know, 18 to 23. What made you decide to go do that? I hadn't It was like my father's from the old country. My father's a Maramures Vesznotes family. >> Maramures? Yeah. Wow. >> Yeah, Vesznotes. And he was born in the Bronx. Oh, okay. >> Wound up in California, wound up in Nott's room and everything. And they and they and so, and but those people who came here to the US, they didn't go to college. They went and made money. Right. And they're going to they're going to make sure their kids go to college. So, he couldn't live with himself. He says So, he my children will go to university. We'll go to college. >> It didn't matter school to him, but college mattered. >> Yeah, he didn't mind paying for my exams to be taken by the smarter kids, you know. >> Wow. Not that there were smarter kids, but they were at least studying. Okay. >> Yeah, he didn't care. He was um he just wanted that my sons will have a degree. He didn't care how he got it. He was like Trump, you know. It's exactly Trump. He was like post-war businessman, capitalist, you know, like >> And you got the degree? Yeah, eventually. Well, I got caught on the fifth year. I got caught. >> Yeah, you know what? They caught me with >> caught people back in the day? I didn't tell you what I did. No, what did you do? Tell it to me. >> [laughter] >> So, so when So, what happened was By the way, how do you go to college if you never went to high school? How to get My father was [snorts] My father was friends with the mayor of Los Angeles. >> [laughter] >> Okay. My father was a big macher. >> Wow. >> Yeah, and he >> I never saw him that way. He's like this nice little chubby man. He's not chubby. He's 6'2". What? I'm probably mixing it up with someone. >> Yeah, this guy is >> Or maybe your shver is nice little chubby. cocktails with an olive in it, you know, like >> Is your Is your shver a nice little chubby? Yes. >> Oh, so I'm mixing them up. Okay. Yeah. >> Yeah, yeah. Sorry. >> You kidding? I could put my shver on my shoulders. >> Yeah, yeah. So, that's why I mixed them up. So, So, your father was a big macher. He was good with the LA Mayor, yeah, yeah. So, you got your degree. >> to come for shabbos, the mayor. Really? But not real shabbos. >> Not real shabbos. We didn't know the word melacha, but you better be sitting in your seat on shabbos, like >> Wow. So, shabbos table is shabbos table. Like villayava, is to be at my father's shabbos. I'll never forget him yelling at us to sing shalom aleichem, you know. >> Really? Oh, you had to sing. And they A lot of chassidim do that today. Yell at their kids to sing. >> Yeah, >> [laughter] >> 100%. I I just had a crazy story about you. >> have a fun memory of it. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Why? He was yelling at you. Cuz I mean I'm a little older now and and you know that even the even the scrap that we go through without the S. Really? >> we go through with our parents, when you get a little older you start to realize that that was their way of showing love. Wow. >> That was how they were loving you. And in the end you can somehow descramble the the way they gave the delivery of the message and just take the message as I love you. >> Yeah, you know That's part of the possible you work. >> Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And do you right descrambling the The memories. >> the medium medium is how it came Right. >> versus the message which was I love you. Wow. >> Like for example, every time he's cheppening his son for his self someone whatever. >> Right. Self smart feeling. Yeah. It's always self smart. Self smart weekdays. Yes. Shabbos. Yeah. The um whenever they're um cheppening their kid, so you notice they're not cheppening the neighbor's kid. Right. They don't seem to care if the neighbor's kid the neighbor's kid said Christmas. >> you. It's you they want. You're You're probably all the people watching now is like pop pop pop everybody in different ways. Yeah. Wow. >> But you get a little older and you know the you start realizing that all the stuff that was trauma growing up in the end was their way of showing love. >> Wow. So you're by the Shabbos table, how many brothers or sisters? How many sisters? >> four boys. Four boys, that's it. >> girls. Sam Yom Tov No, Sam Aaron. Aaron. Yeah, everyone became from by the way. Wow. >> Almost there. And your father? My parents became from. >> Really? Yeah, when I went to Aish HaTorah they came to get me out. >> [laughter] >> They came to save you. They did. Wow. Yeah. So one second, so Sam introduced to you Aish HaTorah, how? He He that he >> I had joined a cult. They They looked it up and they thought Aish HaTorah was a cult. I said I said, "Yeah, it's the cult of your grandparents." Wow. And they knew? They were like, "Oh my gosh." My mother was just happy that I cut my hair though. Oh, she was upset about the hair. >> was happy I cut my hair for sure. And uh So, how does Sam get you hooked up to Aish HaTorah? He just He called them. He didn't even tell me. I was graduating university in a week. Okay. And he's trying to figure out how to save me cuz I'm about to go surfing all over the world and move to Australia. You know. I thought marrying a Jew was racist. You know, I thought having kids was environmentally irresponsible. Really? You're a liberal. I'm liberal by nature. You're pretty liberal by nature, too. >> Yeah, But politically, I'm conservative. Wow. Yeah. So, you were a liberal and So, how does Sam call is he calls Aish HaTorah saying, "I have this brother you got to come pick him up."? Mhm? Oh. Yeah, yeah. So, he called Aish HaTorah. He said, "He said, like, 'You remember me?'" and they're like, "Kind of." And he says, "Listen, I have a brother who would make a big difference for Klal Yisrael." So, that's what he said. >> Wow. >> a big difference Klal Yisrael, but right now he's not going to make a difference to anyone." Yeah. "So, how about you get us a free tick- a free scholarship Do you have a program going on?" And they said, "Yeah, we have the Jerusalem Fellowships." And I think they had a cancellation. Okay. And it was 15 boys, 15 girls from these universities. But these were like high-end Okay. >> people, you know. But why would you consider you have all these plans? Because it was free. Mhm. It's a free ticket. Wow. That's why the free Gamara program of Reb Leib talks to a lot of people. Wow. So, Sam, I hope you're watching this at some point. Kudos to you, bro. You got a lot of light to Klal Yisrael. Right. So, he So, he had the vision or I'm sure not to this level, but he had a understanding. >> something? He was the one who dropped me off at LAX. And when I was going up the escalator, he I turned around to wave goodbye. And you know what he does at the bottom of the escalator? He says, "You're going to bring me back." Wow. And I was like, "To what?" I didn't know where I was going. >> Wow. He never told us what was going on over there. And you actually did? I said, "To what?" And he said, "You'll see." Wow. He once I became from and my parents were my parents came to get me out. They wound up staying and But they they became from then. >> Sam just jumped right on that. He was But he was also he was already like friends with some from people and he was >> waiting. He was waiting for them. >> waiting, but he was also growing the whole time. Wow. >> eventually he just finally jumped in with both feet. That is beautiful. >> Aaron was a was a real estate guy, like flipping properties and stuff. >> In California. In California. We're talking like tight Armani suits, you know, with the convertible uh Yeah, I could see him with the big watch. >> like a real American. Yeah. You know, and uh and he uh he he came he he fought me the whole time. Right. >> Very against what I was doing. Very >> That's how far in? Like a year in? You're trying to pull him out? >> He He comes to my wedding. Shh. He's and he he had money, so he >> I remember your wedding. I remember the chuppah in Park Jerusalem. Yeah. You were like in a tall in >> forest. >> Yeah, with the Stoliner's dancing away. Pinskys. Pinskys. >> No offense to Stoliner's. >> Right, right. Pinskys. Yeah, I can't differentiate. Got it. Yeah. Yeah, and then we with the mitzvah dance, I remember like 11:00 a.m. the mitzvah dance. Not 11:00 a.m. 3:00 p.m. >> 3:00 p.m. Yeah. >> It was a We had to do it by day because Rav Nachman Weinberg, the Rosh Yeshiva, was marrying off that night in Bnei Brak. He's got to be at the wedding. I couldn't figure out to this day why you did it in the morning. I thought it was You're like hippies. You said, "Okay, we're going to do a morning event." The whole thing wasn't the the through the day. >> It ended at night. That was like a 9-hour wedding. Wow, I really >> had to do it starting the in the daytime to get the rest of Shiva there. I remember it was like in a hall in Altasea. I remember it. What's that place called? Something in Jerusalem in the >> [snorts] >> Anyway, the um So, Ari >> You want to hear something interesting is um my wife wanted to get married on Eretz Yisrael. The two of us are like are like crazy like what I call chazal tzionim. You know I >> Chazal tzionim cuz we know nothing about the Medina. Like Bali to have no idea Right. >> what the Medina is or any of that. All we know is that when we're learning shots you see like Rebbe Zeira faster, you know, 100 fast just to forget the Torah he learned in chutz la'aretz so it shouldn't mess up the Torah he learns when he gets to Eretz Yisrael. >> Wow. And I'm mowing through shots for years and years and years and and like learning more and more and more about the love of Eretz Yisrael. My wife and I were talking this morning on how every de'orah we ever had before we finally got our own houses, we always loved it so much and tried to buy it. Like the Pinsk Karlin Rebbe walked into one of these de'orahs cuz we wanted his advice so he came over to check it. The Pinsk Karlin Zatzal, the father of the current Pinsk Karlin Rebbe. Used to come down to your house? We were very close with him. Wow. Anyway, so he he would walk out shaking his head. Saying no? Yeah, I'm like what about this de'orah Rebbe? Cuz we were renting. Too small? No, it was like a it was like a churban. >> [laughter] >> And we're trying to get Why do we always think wherever we are is the place? Cuz there's Eretz Yisrael. Cuz there's Eretz Yisrael. Wow. Yeah, you live in Bnei Brak boy, so for sure. Yeah. Right now our our guest bathroom and children's bathroom is gutted right now. My wife was just showing me pictures. There's nothing in there. What are we doing? >> Completely gutted. We're redoing it. So, but the reason why we never redid it is cuz I've never seen it. Why did you see it now? >> bathroom that was never nice to begin with and 35 years later you can imagine. >> You never went there? I go to the bathroom in there, but I never seen it cuz I don't care. Wow. >> It's not about that. When you live in there it's it doesn't matter >> Just being in a place the past tense. >> matter what it looks like. >> We can talk about past tense. By the way, my wife it did bother my wife. Of what? Women women are designed to be bothered by it. So we finally we're finally taking care of it. >> After 35 years. Congratulations on that. That's the shame. >> [snorts] >> Okay, so back to us. So you you decided to bring >> Notice I'm here while it's getting done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> smart. That's why you said the big wars are going on. You stay [laughter] here. Every time there's a war in Israel I somehow I'm here. You about. So this Aaron you got Aaron after 3 years. He came to your wedding. >> He comes to our wedding and he's he's you know, he's trying to be nice, but he's angry that I'm from and and so but he had a lot of money at the time. So he just he took out an he took a hotel room in Tel Aviv for a month. >> Oh. A month. Why? Well, it was like it was >> It was 3 we a week of Shavuot and and then 3 weeks in Tel Aviv. He likes to dance and he was dancing all night. >> Perfect city for that. >> Yeah. Wake up he would wake up at noon and come to Jerusalem to see the two of us. Yeah. He comes every day for lunch. >> [laughter] >> Took his rental car drove up there. So my wife who's you know, we're cure of experts. She's smacking him over the head with her spatula. That he has to be before >> die. >> Wow. >> So check this out. The end he he goes back to LA. I get a call 2 weeks later from my parents. They're like, "Where's your brother?" I said, "What do you mean where's my brother?" He went back to LA. >> "Yeah, he's not home." And they're like, "We have not seen him. He's always at our house for everything. He's at every game. He's in sports, everything. Where is he?" And and I said, "I dropped him at the airport. I don't know." They said I said, "Have you been to his house?" They said, "Yes. He doesn't answer his phone, nothing." I said, "Go over there at 2:00 in the morning." He's clearly hiding. Okay. >> knock on his door at 2:00 in the morning, and he comes to the door, and my parents He opens the door, and my parents are like, "What happened?" He had a couple. Wow. Never looked back. He paid me incredible kibbutz rabbi in Manhattan, and and like just >> Really? >> go back to Asia. You know how many people he became from through him? He went He learned in Asia for 4 years. So, he came back after that couple in LA, he came back to Asia. >> Yeah, he dropped everything and >> Wow. >> I remember actually, you want to hear something interesting is he got you know, he got into some legal stuff. Okay. >> And you know, and it was federal, you know, it was it was heavy. And uh and you know, he had to deal with that. And you know what he did? He made a deal. With Hashem? >> Yeah. Came from He like That's where he really like made a deal. He told Hashem, "I'm becoming from. You take care of the case." >> I'm going to Yeshiva. >> I'm done. I'm like, "I'm going to I'm taking it on. I'm going to do >> Not only it worked for him, ever since I saw it work for him, I've told several people to try it when they were in some trouble. Every person I've seen try it has It's worked. >> Wow. Yeah, everyone who was frei and made those deals to become from, that and Hashem should just take this this, you know, all off of them from the whatever government. Ah, you're giving me massive ideas now. Okay. So, listen to this. He um He Oh, no, that was the story. But, what I want to tell you about the wedding is that I spend a lot of my time mountain biking in the forest. >> Right. >> in the forest. >> To this day? >> I spend a lot hours in the wilderness. >> Is it like the same of surfing? It like feels like surfing. >> Well, it's wilderness. There's no one around. You're alone. You're not scared in those mountains. There's Arabs in Israel. They Where do you go? Amut? Where do you go? No, but seriously, I see a mountain bike I'm all scared. >> all over the country, everywhere. What about mountain lions or whatever? Did you know? Nothing? Listen, I don't like seeing hyenas and >> You see You've seen >> Yeah, I don't like seeing them. >> What do you do? You race away? >> I I last summer I ran almost head into a giant snake. And? It It You know, they don't want to mess with it. They When the hyenas I saw ran for their lives. >> Uh-huh. The animals aren't interested in eating people. Not interested. >> There's very few animals. I think there's three animals that eat people. You go by yourself on this >> Polar bears eat people. Polar bears, which one? The white ones? >> Polar bears eat people. There's a certain wild cat that eats people. >> Hippopotamus? Maybe a hippo. I don't I think I think they they >> They look like they got a strong bite. No, they kill the most people in in the Africa in the safari. >> Really? >> Yeah, it's not lions. It's hippos. Hippos. Yeah, I think so. Got to be careful when you >> Or the ones with the You're taking a mikvah in Africa. Yeah. >> Yeah, you got to be careful. So So anyway, my wife wanted to be That's why I was telling about that ciyenes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Shas, the Hazal ciyene. So she's like, I want to get married on earth. So she's like, I don't care if the dancing's in a hall. But >> That's why you went to the first >> should be on the soil. Should be on the soil. And so, she said, go out and ride your bike, find a spot where the Pinsker Rebbe is very old that he could get there. You know, how you going to get him? >> Baruch Yerushalayim. Yeah, Yerushalayim. There was that spot right outside Har Nof where it was. And And but I 5 hours I rode my bike to find a spot. I couldn't find a spot. Really? >> point I just wound up right there. And I see the spot. And I My wife's in New York. I Remember my my college in New York. I call her up. She says, "Describe the spot." I describe the spot. She says, "You know what? That's the spot when you were feeling down, we weren't engaged or anything. I just heard you were feeling down. I was doing my davening in the forest. But you guys already were dating. No. So how did she hear you feeling down? Well, in the bulk Shiva community, everyone knows everything. >> Okay. Okay. >> She had heard that I had been feeling down. And so well, I was on her list of people. Shh. And she says that is the exact spot I davened for you. No way. We got married at the spot my wife was davening for me. >> Only Hashem can call call She wasn't davening to marry me. You know, on our wedding day we we were davening stuck, you know, before the chuppah, you know, we were davening, both of us. No. We were davening that we should marry to Rivka. Shh. By the chuppah. >> Yeah, Hashem, you got 10 minutes left. [laughter] You got 10 minutes left to have to do something here. You guys are crazy. >> We're crazy. You guys are crazy. I want to know about the moment you realize that there is Hashem. Sam sends you you're you don't know where you're going. When was the the aha moment? You come to Asia, you My There was a couple ones, but there was a one big one. The The couple ones was I started noticing I'm losing all the arguments. You know, I'm not I'm not sure >> because today all the FFBs have those arguments. Give me Give me an Well, I'll tell you the one that was the biggest aha. Okay. Anyway, I was losing arguments with the students. The rabbis were I was definitely losing against the rabbis, but I was losing against the students. Remember Shalom Demba? I do. They gave me him as my chaverusa. Wow. >> We watched the sunrise every night. He would stay up all night with me just to argue. Wow. Arguing, but the thing is when I'd finally go to bed, I would go to bed thinking I lost again. Meaning I'm not winning these arguments, and I'd been doing a lot of thinking for a lot of years. Shh. >> You know, I'm I'm a thinker. Like, how do I do what I do? You know, I'm doing I got 700 hours of YouTube classes of Torah and Torani time and I think about things a lot. >> And yeah, I kept losing. Wow. And then the seventh day, the first Shabbos I kept by accident cuz they taped the lights and I don't smoke and So you didn't have an opportunity. >> of cell phones. I didn't know about Malachim, but I kept the lights >> Was my father doing that in Shabbos? No, no. This is This is before your father was so engaged with it. So then um then this So it was seventh day I was there. I I was in the Discovery Seminar and it was on the third final day of the seminar. And there they the last class is about the 10 sons of Haman. Okay. You know, meaning the last class is about how you know, you're reading the Megillah and all of a sudden you get to this like Excel sheet. Yes. You know. It's Parshondas, Vayzasa, Vayishmoso. It's like It's like a whole list of uh names. But it's weird like and they're they're not in the story before, they're not in the story later. Right. Why do they get this special page? Okay. But it's a very special page. But in that page it has a Parshondas has a small tough and Parshandatha has a small shin and Vaizasa has a small zayin. Tough, shin, zayin, 707. And then there's a big vuv. Which is the perhaps representing the millennia. So 707, 1707, 2707, 3707, 4707, 5707. So somehow 5707's on that page. And [clears throat] it says right after the list of the sons, it says that you know, they were killed. That's why he's listing them. These are the sons that were killed. They were killed by the sword. And then and then the king, which is the king Don Ahasuerus the king says to Esther, "What is What do you want now? The say us, you know, whatever you want you know, and it will be done." And she's instead of her asking to bring back her people back to Jerusalem, she already said she's a Jew, part of this whole exile for 70 years. Send us home already pay for a base of meatness. Instead of all that she says, "And may it be done tomorrow what was done today. And may Haman's 10 sons be hung on the gallows." Wow. Which is like Esther, that's what you want? You want the 10 sons to be hung? That's your only request? Really now? Yeah. So but when a prophetess says, "May it be done tomorrow." Maybe she's talking about the future. Turns out 2,500 years later on the year tough shin Zion in the year tough shin Zion is the Nuremberg trials where 10 Nazis are hung. Wow. It's in the It's in the Megillah. It's in the Megillah. You know the last Nazi, Julius Streicher? I'm going to quote Newsweek article of 1946. Ready for a direct quote? "Only Julius Streicher went without dignity." Meaning the other ones just were hung but he went crazy. He went crazy, freaked out. So only Julius Streicher went without dignity. He had to be pushed across the the courthouse floor, wild-eyed, and screaming Heil Hitler. As they As he mounted the gallows, he turned to the witnesses and said, "Poor He said, "And now I go to God." Purim Fest 1946. Wow. On what day? It was Hoshanah Rabbah, October 17th, 1946, which is the judgment day of the nations, says the Zohar. And And so it's like when what Esther was saying was more important base of meatness, which she's a prophetess. She knows base of meatness is not going to go anywhere. By Shani it. Anyway >> One second. So this >> She said more important is that after the Holocaust when the Jews are in the dumps when the Jews have like lost all hope, I'm going to I want a siman to be there. Mhm. >> that Torah, meaning prophecy, all the way to Megillah, Megillah is way later than Chumash. >> Not eternal. For sure it's eternal. And it's not man written cuz a human being could never have put Tav Shin Zayin. Every sofer for 2,500 years has to make a small dot on the Tav. And they didn't know what they're doing. >> They don't know what they're doing. It should be a siman at the end of days that this is real. Israel. That this is real. >> Israel. That this is real. And so I walk out and that was my ah-has, right? I mean the whole week was my ah-ha. Isn't Sorry, it's the ninth day I was there. And uh it was a big ah-ha. I walk out of there and I'm just like, "Wow." And I And I realize I'm being followed. You know, you can feel it someone's following you. I turn around and you I mean the old city. >> Yeah. Altstadt as you guys call it. Yeah. Turn back, there's a dog following me. A dog? Yeah. In the old city doesn't do dogs, they do cats. Right. So this dog's following me. Where am I going? I'm on my way to the phones to tell my parents not to send my surfboards to to France. Because I am in France. >> lose my boards. That was the day they were going to send the boards. That's how I know it was the ninth day cuz I I did the math. Cuz my ticket was booked back through France to They thought you were still going with the plan. Of course. >> made a detour for a few days. >> Yeah, it was a free ticket. I took the ticket. But Tav Shin Zayin got you and I'm staying. Yeah, this is real. This is real. And so anyway, I'm I'm on my way to the payphones. Dog follows me all the way to the phones. Remember payphones? Yeah, with the telecard or the Is that card? Yeah, the card. >> So I So I I call my parents. I said, "That's it. I'm I'm done. I'm staying. I'm I'm home. Don't send my boards." They thought you went crazy. Finished that call. I went to uh Uh I went That's when I I called my brother. asked him, "Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Sam. He says, "I knew when you'd find this out you'd never come back." Yeah. And then and then I wound up in the I went to the dinner, you know, that dinner there. They I'm in there 45 minutes, I come out the dog's waiting for me. >> No way. Some weirdest thing. Dafka for you. Yeah. And then He's not following [clears throat] anyone else. Just me. Now he's following me around. And I'm like, this is crazy. I'm trying to lose him. I finally wind up on Rechov Chai Olam. And I'm on Rechov Chai Olam, it's a long street in the old city. And I finally decide, you know what, I'm just going to sit on these stairs. Like you know, there's one of these stairs, I'll just sit on the stairs. I'm going to stare at this dog. We're going to have it out. Okay. >> And the dog sat on Chai Olam staring at him. We're both staring at each other. I'm like, "What is going on here?" Like I find out there's a God and I'm dealing with a dog. Okay. >> So, all of a sudden one of the girls from our trip who's been in the, you know, the Top Chin Zion Purim Fest class. >> Yes. She's walking down that street but really slow and she's crying. Okay, why? >> She gets to me. I look at her. I said, "Are you okay?" And she says, "It's true, isn't it?" Meaning Torah. Yeah. Like it's true, isn't it? And I was like, "It's true." And then she starts screaming. Like her hair stands up. She goes, I look st- I'm looking at the dog. I look down at the dog. The dog is sticking its neck out. It's shaking its whole body and like drilling into my eyes. And I was like, "Ah!" We're both screaming, "Ah!" Like I'm like, And in that moment I realized that that dog, this girl, these walls, these stairs, this sky is all part of the living God. Like Elokus Mamish. This is all part of Hashem. And then I realized what dog is spelled backwards. And then the dog just runs away. And that's it. Wow. Yeah. This was a very hard awakening. And but that was powerful enough to stick with you for life. And that was what Hashem did with the makos in Mitzrayim for the Yidden this parsha Bo and Shelach. Yeah. He made something so strong impression that should stay with them for the rest of Yeah. >> history. Sure. So, you feel it to this day. You're telling me the story you're like you remember it vividly. Mhm. The whole experience was Was there times that you were missing that clarity? You said, "Ah, I can use another one, a boost." Yeah. Were you looking for the dog again? No, the dog was The dog was just for fun. I mean, that was That was just a crazy But that that that that awakening >> of Torah was the was the big thing. So, it's only once that Hashem [clears throat] gives it to a baal teshuvah or to someone who seeks him? Like once kufa, one few weeks? >> know if there's a klal about that, really. But you know baal teshuvah have this this enlightenment time that they run around telling everyone about it. And then they die down and they could become a FFB and they Yeah, most most baal teshuvah have this one moment and and you know, this moment of clarity and It's a gift. It's a gift from Hashem to to bring them in. Mhm. So, now you felt home. Now, you stay there for how many years? 3 years? No, I I never left. You never left. Never left. You didn't even go back visiting home. >> No, I visit all the time, but I meaning that was That was it. That was it. That was the decision made. >> Cut the cord. Wow. Yeah. Ever been back to California for a while or never? There was a point where I took a position as a campus rabbi at UCLA. Okay. Um Before marriage or after marriage? >> After. After marriage and your wife agree to this? I'm so sorry. [laughter] >> Not really. I'm so sorry for mentioning it. Not really, but it was it was not a good idea. Not a good idea? No. I remember him. >> I'm a teacher. I'm not a organizer, administrator. Like I wasn't I can't build a campus branch, you know? It's just not not a good use of my koachas. So you stayed in Yerushalayim? I Rav Noch Weinberg pulled me back to Yerushalayim, thank god. Wow. I still remember him, Noch. I remember his handshake, firm, big handshake. You got to shake his hand? Yeah, Shavuos night. My father took me all the way to Aish. Wow. I was a kid. And he introduced me and I got this I think it was still in the old basement. Probably. I think it was still in the old basement. >> [snorts] >> Okay. Um the next thing that I'm really curious about about, unless you want to mention something else, is how the possible you came along. How did it develop? How did you come to it? So, you know, um when since I can even segue it from the story we're in. So when I decided, "Wow, I'm going to become frum now." Or or I am frum now. It was like instantly frum. I kept that next Shabbos totally like I was frum immediately. The beard started coming out already or it took a little time? Immediately. Wow. Pinsk-Karlin, when was that? That was later. Not much later, just a little later. It was Sukkos. How? I was dancing with all the other people in Toldos Aharon and and uh and someone said a friend of mine said, "I want you to meet me in Karlin." So he said I said, "Where's Karlin?" He said, "Just meet me in 15 minutes there. Just you go down Mea Shearim, turn right." Okay. So I went down Mea Shearim, turned right. But if you turn right, you get to Zonnenfeld. You know, by Nechama Bakery, by the main >> Yeah, yeah. Nechama Bakery Avenue. >> He meant he meant Yoel, which is the the next street. >> Oh, that's Stolin. Yeah, I I He was going to Stolin. And you went to the Kahala Bakery where did you go? >> I was lost. I'm like someone tell me where Carlin is. They said up the stairs. So you got to Pinsk. Walk in there everyone's dancing going crazy. You know the band is on. This is before keyboards. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is full band. Hockey. >> Drums, bass. >> Yeah. Russians on horns you know reading the music. And and there it's zip tied tables like 10 ft [laughter] high with a huge stage. And the cinema doing amazing dancing not like every other place. I mean they're doing real >> it. Is this the first time you see like a full on festival? >> Yeah, this was You loved it. >> And they grabbed me and put me right in the middle cuz it's They just I cuz I dance you know I just they were just teaching me the dance. I'll learn a dance like that. It's all a show. So I So I was dancing with them till 2:30 in the morning. And one guy spoke enough English and had enough courage. He was a boy in Shonny Shonna. He his father was a Rush color once in LA for a few for like 2 years. So he learned enough English to say He was dancing next to me he said do you come in back here Friday night? Shabbat night? Still my father. Wow. What's his name? Fishy Henig. You still buddies with him? So I came Friday night. I joined the Henig family. Permanently. Wow. >> They They you know every Henig boy of all of the boys who were became my brothers. And their their kids say Their their kids when their kids are around 7 or 8 they'll say how come Uncle Yom Tov doesn't speak Yiddish? Cuz they think I'm their uncle. Wow. That is so nice. >> left. I slept there that night. Meaning Meaning they made my shidduch with my wife. That's Mama Shasgacha Protus. Want to hear a great story? No. The um The Rov Rov Henig says to me when when they My parents are learning there in Yeshiva. My mom's in the same, my father's in Yeshiva. >> Really? >> They're overlooking the Koisel. For how long did they do that? >> 6 months. So the Rav says that he wants to come with the Rebbetzin to meet my parents. And like Motzei Shabbos, so I go to my father and I say I say listen, get your checkbook ready. You thought they come from money. >> you know. They they come from money. So I say get your checkbook ready, you know, give a nice gift to Reb Henig. >> And so my dad's ready and the couple comes and they ask me to bring a just find a girl to translate. So so for my for the Rebbetzin and my mother. >> Mhm. So I brought a bunch of age guys to the balcony overlooking the Koisel and uh and they come in and the Rav sits with us and I'm waiting for him to ask my father for something, you know. Nothing. After a while the Rav says, "Okay, I'm going to the Koisel to say Tehillim." Wow. Disappears. And I walk him down the Koisel and when I get him down the Koisel he says, "By the way, you should know that Bachur is your your Zivug." That who has your >> the girl is translating for my mother, that's your Zivug. No way. So I go back, you know why they came? They did the math on the age of my parents. They did the math on the age of my parents and they made a Cheshbon and they said she's probably only needs one Mikvah and she's done. And she's the woman's a Balanit, she's a Mikvah lady. Wow. >> Rebbetzin Henig is a Mikvah lady. She doesn't think in terms of anything than Taharas Mishpacha. Wow. >> So she's like, "How could it be Yom Tov tomorrow? There hasn't been no She came to talk to her. Rabbi Henig was just like a cover up. >> no, he walked her there. Wow. >> He was on his way to the Koisel. Wow. >> He the whole thing was just to get my mother in the Mikvah. And did they succeed? Sure. She was like Of course. Of course I had no idea. What a story. She didn't know anything. What a story. and the um and the uh and when she walked when the bachur uh the girl walked her down to the bus, the rebbetzin said, "You should know that Yom Tov is your zivug." Really? They didn't talk to each other? No way. They're shatchanim for a living? >> rooms. No. They don't make shatchanim. They just said it. Yeah. They met and they Wow. There's a lot of protest in your life. >> We married each other in and the and and our kids were born into their house. Like that's where my mother that's where my wife rested after births and stuff. >> The shviger. Yeah. Wow. What is it? 30 years? 31. 31 years. Wow. Beautiful. Yeah. So how So now you told us how you got to Pinsk Island. That was fascinating. Oh, so what I was saying is when I became observant was uh was I had a real crisis. What was my crisis? When I was 10 years old, I was terribly embarrassed at my brother's bar mitzvah. Like terribly embarrassed. Well, well, I got embarrassed by one of the kids there. And I ran to the bathroom and I stayed in the bathroom the whole bar mitzvah. I'm not in his picture. I cried in the bathroom. 10 years old. Your brother's bar mitzvah. >> Yeah. I wanted to be accepted by his class. You know, when you're a 10-year-old kid brother, you want to be like you want them to think you're cute and you're part of the group and you I was trying to be part of them. And they're like dismissing you. And I I was so humiliated. I just ran to the bathroom and cried for 2 and 1/2 hours. I'm not in my brother's bar mitzvah pictures on there. I didn't get to dance with them. I'd been waiting all year for this. Wow. Crying in the bathroom listening to the music through the walls. And and what happened I only know this from years years years later when I almost had to have surgery on my colon cuz you know that tight feeling when you have to show up to a social event a kid a wedding or anything your stomach gets a little tight? So that can get worse and worse and worse for some people. So some people can have like real >> I had a trauma that day and that got worse and worse and worse in my my So every emotional thing has a physical effect? >> Right. Well, the physical the physical pain we have is protecting us from the more painful emotion. So, you can >> Every physical >> Yeah, you can actually ride a physical pain, a neck pain, a back pain, a stomach pain, a headache. You can ride that pain all the way to the words of what you're really feeling. And then cry out the feeling and the pain goes away. Really? >> Yeah. No surgery needed, no hospital needed, no >> No, some things need surgeries, but that that that's No Tylenol needed. But, it starts with emotions. >> out the pain that the physical pain instead of covering it up with more medication. What about for someone who somehow can't cry? Get someone to get you to cry. So, Or join the possible you? >> Yeah. We get everyone crying, right? Yeah. >> So, the um what I want to say is that Oh, that's called somatic healing, by the way. The term for that is somatic healing. Soma is the body. Okay. >> Somatic healing is by using the body to get to the emotion to release the body's physical uh ailment. Somatic. So, here's the thing is That was when I was 10. By 11, I was playing this whole cool thing. Surfer, guitar player, skateboarder, you know, like you name it. >> fight to cover up? >> I was already like my mother would go to sleep. 2 hours later, I was in her sports car driving around LA at 12 [snorts] years old. By 14, I was racing. Everything I was doing was to be cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Cuz as long as I'm cool, if I'm the cool guy, I'm in charge of who's accepted or not. So, in other words, when that happened to me, I felt so unacceptable Right. that I believed I was unacceptable. So, you had to fight to be accepted. >> Unacceptable as a human being. Just unacceptable, which is a tough one. To be unacceptable, that means wherever you go, you're not accepted. >> Right. So, what did I do? I I covered that up with cool. Mhm. And so, now I'll be in charge of who's accepted or not. Except guess what? In 1991 in the Litvish Yeshiva in Yerushalayim, cool has no currency. You know, it's like trying to buy a Starbucks coffee with 20 shekels. So you look you >> mean anything. They won't take it. They want dollars. So you were lost. I was Yeah, I was lost. I didn't know what to do. I had been using this cover-up for 12 years. And >> And now who are you? >> All of a sudden my survival survival strategy was no longer uh worth was worth nothing. >> Valuable. Wow. No one needs cool. No one cared about cool. Today in Yeshivas, everyone's being cool. >> [snorts] >> So you had to figure out a new way? Yeah, you know what the new way was? What was it? Well, what do you say what do you what do you do to be the top guy in a in a Litvish Yeshiva? >> You start learning like a crazy guy. >> Masmid. Masmid. >> Masmid. Yeah, I was a real fish stinker masmid. Like when I say fish stinker, I say >> You mean to say the ones who would go up to the I'd be invited by someone on Shabbos. I'd go up to the Baal Bayis and whisper in his ear. Say, "Listen, it's kind of bittul Torah for me to be here. But the Shabbos table >> Do you mind if I bench and just go back to the basement? I just would say it loud enough that everyone should hear. Right. Wow. It's sad. It was I was a masmid. I learned a lot of Torah. As a as a survival strategy. Mhm. >> So some people would be masmidim for the wrong reason. Of course, yeah. Some people are there for the right reason. >> It's scary cuz there's there's no especially with Torah, but but it's brought down in Kabbalah that all any mitzvah you do that's um lo lishma besides like chesed, stukin, so any mitzvah you do lo lishma is uh stays in this world. Yeah, you could learn Shas 20 times if you did it for a kavod. Wait. Does someone recover? What was that? >> so it's brought down also in Kabbalah that if you review that Torah, all the Torah you learn, just review it once, the Shema, you the whole entire storehouse >> elevate the >> the whole warehouse goes up. What about the mitzvah? Same thing. If you really do that mitzvah >> Do it do it lishmah. Ah, ya ya ya. So, I became a masmid and then a couple years later, like 3 years later, I realized that there's a whole Hasidic community that still thinks I'm a >> [laughter] >> That is so right. >> Next thing you know, it's like Wow. All All to be accepted. You want to hear crazy another crazy story? When I was 16, uh when you're 16 in America, you get sent to Israel for like uh you know, like a month of the summer. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's called a teen tour to Israel. So, we're totally secular boys and girls. None of us are dressed right, you know, for for from communities. The tour guide's taking us to Mea Shearim. I get We get to Mea Shearim, and we all 50 kids get out of the bus. Oy vey. We're hitting in Mea Shearim, immediately these are shomrim come up and say Uh-uh. You're You're not coming in here. Right. And And they were very nice, actually. Really? >> Yeah, they were like >> You were lucky. >> It's inappropriate. >> Yeah. Yeah, go back to your bus. Go tour somewhere else. Not here. Tour guide Okay, comes back to us and he says, "I know another way in." Really? Found another way in. As if they didn't know, like they didn't see us getting in the bus. Okay. So, so we go another way. And of course They're waiting for you. They were waiting for us cuz the bus is still where they were. So, he had us touring, figured we'll just go out the way that we came. So, he sees you guys are not getting on the bus. And And he had us go around and come out exactly where the bus was. So, they were all still there, but this time they were waiting with rocks. Oh. I'll never forget. We're running up Rechov Salant, 50 kids screaming, running as fast as we can. Rocks this big are shooting past us. You know, in all my years in Jerusalem, I've never seen a kid throw a rock. Except for this one experience. Really? And rocks are like one rock like clipped my ear. That's dangerous. >> And bam, right in the back of a girl running in front of me and she goes down. She was like a petite girl. Bam. She goes down. And And And anyway, we get on the bus. About I don't know how many years later, but like 20 years later. I'm on my way back from Pinsker Lane. I'm in my caftan and my streimel and my big fat white garters. Coming back from shul on my way to my house and I hear screaming. Uh-oh. And >> Deja vu. And it's And And people are screaming and it's a whole thing and I I go over and I see there's these Yerushalmim yelling at an American group wearing dress knees. And I went up and I told the Yerushalmim, I said, "I got this. I speak English. I'll I'll talk to them." I'll take care of this. >> I'm talking to the group and I'm saying it's it's just you can't come in here right now. It's also in Shabbos and I Yeah. Just go in and they're like, "Oh, thank you. We had no idea what that guy was yelling." >> Wow. So, they thanked and they left. But when the group left and I'm back to walking home, all of a sudden I stop. And I'm like I became the people that rejected me. Meaning could it be that my whole story was just surviving the 16-year-old rejection of the most religious people I'd ever met? Like here are these people that we call holy are throwing rocks at us. I'm going to show them. Showing them by becoming them? Yeah, yeah. You're going to respect me. Wow. All of this is I don't even know if this is true what I'm saying. I don't know. Trump became president like that. >> [clears throat] >> Yeah, really? >> Obama humiliated him by the whatever party. I don't remember which party. Oh, yeah. I don't know this story. I Oh, yeah. There's it's it's famous. It's everywhere. He humiliated him. He made like 20 jokes about just about him. And the place was rocking laughing. And he said he swore to himself, "I'm going to be the next president." Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is famous stuff. Everybody knows this, yeah. So, yeah, I guess I lived that story. Wow. But I don't even thought of it that day. I never realized that day. But that's that's the point of the possible you. The possible you is us um dealing with these little momentary hard times as kids, you know. And turning it into a positive. >> Getting schmiched by the Rebbe or getting or if, you know, tough Shabbos tables, you know, mean siblings, and uh embarrassing moments, and Everybody knows what you're talking about. And then and then you you it becomes what gets lodged in you is this negative belief about yourself, which we call the inner negative >> inner negative belief. I am >> Now you have this negative belief. And then what do you do? What do you How are you going to survive now that >> it back. >> You You cover it up with something. So, I was covering it up with cool, then I was covering it up with mass media, then I became a chazzan. I was covering up with colors. And all people know about you is just they know the cover-up. They don't know the real you. Yeah, and and they just nod along. Everyone's always nodding with what I If that's who you want to be, fine. Like I'm not going to get involved. >> Right. You know, you want to be the rich guy, be the rich guy. You want to be the powerhouse guy, be the powerhouse guy. We'll We'll play your game if you really want. Wow. But really it's it's garbage, though, because you can sense when someone's really generating from a negative place. Yeah. Doesn't matter how, you know, it's like spraying uh perfume on a di- dirty diaper, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't stick. It still stinks. Yeah. So, You can see when a person is real raw, authentic, and genuine, and you can feel when he's not really there. One time at Shaare Zedek Hospital we had a I don't know how many people in the room. I was teaching a class, probably 300, 400 people in the room, and and I there was a mechitza, and women are there, men are there, and I said, "Who's coming when Mashiach is coming? Who's coming to his to his home when Mashiach comes, and who's going to wait and see what happens next?" And guess what? Everybody will go. >> "When Mashiach comes, all the women raise their hands." Wow. >> And no men. Like three men went like Yeah. >> embarrassed. And I said, "Who's going to wait and see?" All the men raised their hand. And I looked over at the ladies' side, and I said, "You are stuck here." Wow. My wife created a a program, like a campaign. It's called Pack Woman. Pack Woman. What does it mean? Just pack your stuff come? The very first video game ever was called Pac-Man. Okay. And it's like a little This is a little thing that ate dots, you know? It's called Pac-Man, so it's called She called it Pack Woman. Mhm. And every woman will pack a little carry-on bag full of clothes for each kid, and for her also. Ready to go? >> Yeah. And the Mashiach outfit for No way. Yeah. You know, a woman's supposed to have an outfit for Mashiach. Really? >> We go style. What does it say? I don't know if it says it, but there's a tradition like that. Gee. And my wife has. And the um Anyway, but you have all the things loaded. Why? Because it's the neshamos tzidkaniyos saying to Hashem, "W- I don't know about my husband and all his investments and all his things that I like >> W- We're packed. Wow. We're packed. The Chofetz Chaim used to sleep with the the thing ready to go, right? >> Did he? That that that's that's what I heard and remember. So, how did it possibly come along? You you've mentioned this whole struggle. >> Yeah, so it all came along because they were going to they were going to cut my kishkes out for the meaning my digestive got so bad. >> What age? I was 33. So, that's a lot of bathroom trips for you. >> like 7 years. I bathroom trips. Yeah. What is it? What What is the pain? Yeah? Yeah, it was terrible. It was terri I couldn't digest things and I couldn't digest dairy and I couldn't digest rye and I couldn't digest beef and meat and all that. I was a mess. Wow. >> I was going to die, you know. Is it called it has a name? Um they have names for There's various names. Um Colon is the first place that emotions get trapped in? Uh when it comes to rejection. Remember in the past we There's five fears. So, the first fear is rejection. The second fear is failure like cuz we have to like somehow support our families. >> Right. The next one is uh out of control. That means being controlled by others or by events that are you know, a bar mitzvah is coming. You're nervous. You're marrying off. So, that's out of control and then the unknown. And then physical pain and suffering, but rejection is usually around the stomach. Wow. Failure is around the low back. Low back. Every time you mention one of them it's like another punch. Yeah. It's like crazy. We have all these fears. Why do we need a fear system in the first place? Um the way because the um it's good question. The reason is this because every single organism, whether it's a fish, a bird, a snake, a deer, a dog, a cat, or a human has to have a part of their brain that that focuses when it's in danger. Mm. And doesn't get distracted by other things. So, if you're sitting in traffic on the Palisades Parkway and you're going 2 mph, so you see the birds, you see the trees, you see the deer, you see the the Hudson, you see the cliffs, you know? But, if you're going 20, now you see most of it. When you're going 40, you're seeing some of it. Once you're going 65, you're seeing none of it. So, what is all the green and the everything around you? It's uh it's been proven scientifically that everything you think you're seeing while you're driving is um our predictive models that your brain creates. Really? >> But, really your brain's been shut down so you can stay on task on the bumper in front of you. That's why you get tired when you drive fast for 8 hours or 4 hours even. Yeah, who would you who would you prefer drives you to Spa 42? >> Oh, definitely >> or a 36-year-old? To drive you up the >> Yeah, he's got 18 years of past going up into the future. And so, he's got he's got 18 years going up the highway. Right. >> drives. Now, meanwhile, you see 20 deer on the side of the road. You're like, "Did you see those deer?" He's like, "What deer?" Right. >> Cuz you don't see anything. >> So, that part of the brain is able to control everything to bring it down? >> to protect you. So, it's meant to protect us. >> So, that you're not watching everything else, you're focused on saving your life from something. And sometimes >> gave an example of a car. Right. >> But, but it's the same thing when you're using a knife, you're not hearing the music the same as you were when you were peeling. When you're peeling vegetables, you're hearing some of the music. Once you're slicing, you're hearing less of the music. You know, you're dealing with a hot pot, you're not hearing any music. Wow. >> The the brain's set up to cancel out distraction when in danger. Now, what happens with the emotions? >> Well, listen. So, so that part of the brain is called the default mode network. It's inside of every organism from from a fish to a human. And so, what the problem is is humans are so complicated cuz we have we don't just have a fear of having our hand burned or getting killed in a crash God forbid. We have the danger of rejection. >> Right. We have the danger of failure and danger of out of control and the unknown. And so what happens when we when a when a person walks into a wedding Wow. What a mess. >> tightens. You're like >> [sighs] >> You know >> Deer in the headlights. >> Yeah. I was at a wedding once and and um and they they the women had like flowers for the centerpiece the men had uh can't beautiful candles behind glass. But they weren't lit. Okay. Expensive candles. I said to the party planner who was walking by I said Um you know you didn't like the candles. You you know I like candles. Yeah. So I said you didn't like the candles he says Yom Tov no one sees the candles. No one's here. Wow. >> [sighs] >> There's a guitar player playing that wedding. He's at the top of his game. You know how many kids trying to be that guitar player? This guy's the guitar player. He made it to the top. He's playing these guitar solos in each song. Not a person heard those solos. No one heard those solos. You don't hear the clarinet. You're not at the wedding. WHY ARE WE STILL DOING THESE WEDDINGS ANYWAY? Some poor fool's spending 80 hundred thousand dollars for 500 people to survive his kid's wedding. That's a minimum today. And guess who's trying to survive the wedding the most? Him. He is. He's he's sitting there just going like >> sad. >> can't wait to get back to my bed where it's safe. Like this Everything should just keep going smoothly so I can get home. That is so sad. >> You know you know how many people have come to the possum you right before they're marrying off cuz they heard this? Wow. And they're like if I'm spending 80 grand I want to be at that wedding. Yeah. I want to show my default mode network that I want you when I'm driving. I don't want you when I'm marrying off. I want you when I'm cutting potatoes. I don't want you when I'm doing business. I had a big nice I just married off 2 months ago the first one. Mazel tov. Mazel tov. I had a big nice. I They started >> Boy or girl? A boy. Baruch Hashem. What was wrong with the boy that it was such a big nice? The nice was for me to be there. I come in and and I was [snorts] in I was in a good mood. And I kept telling myself the week prior to, I got to be at this wedding. I paid too much to not be there. I got to be there. Now, the few days before, Baruch Hashem, Hashem gave me seichel because I was running a a wedding hall at some point. So, I saw them chasanim. I saw What's the secret? I I kept encouraging them. Now, I need to tell me all these things. I took a driver, took my car, everything that needed to be picked up, the chasan, my wife, anything, call him. Oh, great. Call me only for emergencies. And I had time. I was learning a bisl in the spa. I went for a good massage the day before. You really were with Nachman Chaimowitz's son. Baruch Hashem. No, it was a big nice because I could afford the same I would [clears throat] I could have just run into this loop of everyone else. And I come to the Kabbalah Sponim. And I'm all there. I came 2 hours early to the hall. I was sitting there. I was doing the pictures. Everything was good. But as soon as they started this Vayehi Bishlam and and it's so they started oy oy oy. They started Vayehi Bishlam. It's the same thing. It's so emotional. That's it. The big lighting. And they and they grab my hand. And I'm like I think the chasan or the chasan taking me. What is going on? I'm like, "Okay, this is happening now. I better shape up." I started saying "Einam Vadai" like a thousand times. I said, "Hashem, we're three partners here, right? We're marrying off. Please, it's not fair if you would leave the two partners behind and you would do your thing. Take me with you. Mhm. Allow me to be here. And I shut my eyes the whole way until after the chuppah. And I I felt like I'm I'm I'm descending, descending, descending. And I came into a beautiful space. I was there for the whole chuppah. I was on a cloud. Wow. And it lasted until like one before the last Sheva Brachot. I was just there. I was loving I gave Brachot like a Kabbalist to everyone. I was having a blast. >> That's amazing. >> Yeah, I can't even recognize that guy. You know what I I did a few weddings ago. I did the math of how much um how much money each minute is. Oh. Yeah, so I was like uh how much is uh five uh how much is 80,000 divided by five? >> [laughter] >> Is 8,000 divided by five is 16,000. And minutes, so I have to do 60. >> So 16,000 divided by 60. How much is 16,000 divided by 60? It's approximately 266.6666. So I'm spending $266 a minute. It's called "heshbon", right? So I So while I'm enjoying the wedding, I'm like I'm like this is amazing. >> [laughter] >> I'm not going to lose a minute of this wedding. And then there's always that guy who comes to drink a cup and tell you a whole story about his uncle or whatever. And I'd be like I'd love to hear this story about your uncle, but come to me Yeah, I don't mention that. I just say come to me tomorrow. You tell me all about it. Not right now. Yeah. Not right now. Okay, so the possible you went that it start. What day? What hour? You You mentioned that you started having crazy pain by 33. Oh, so I totally forgot about my brother's Bar Mitzvah. I didn't put that together. I forgot about that. Totally repressed it. Like difficult The difficult memories we often put away. The brain puts it away for us. >> Yeah, that was gone. But now I was like now I was in trouble. I was going to going to get a surgery for my belly. Like I had to do some "heshbon". But you already knew that it's emotional. It has to be emotional. You didn't know yet. So how how does it happen? I finally one night I just said I I got it. I know it happened. I discover I remembered the Bar Mitzvah. How? Candles? No, no. I someone challenged me. Who? Uh it was it was interesting. My wife and a dear my my a friend of mine and I were in a habura with um with a personal growth leader. Just to you know, just us. And um we hired him. And we're we're crazy about personal growth. So, we hired this guy. You can mention his name? The guy who we hired? Yeah. Um I'm going to leave him nameless. >> Okay. And anyway, so so it's funny that the guy who I hired him with it turned out to be a machutan of mine. Really? >> Yeah. So, anyway, we You guys sit down. >> gave us an exercise, an amazing exercise. I'm not going to tell the whole exercise, but you have to write out your most embarrassing moment. So, I wrote out my most embarrassing moment. And the when I when I showed it to the leader, he was like the guy guiding us. He says, "Reb Yom Tov, I know you too well. This isn't your most embarrassing moment. There's something much bigger." And I started mentioning it for days. And I finally like 2:00 in the morning I just got up in my bed and I'm like, "I remember." Wow. And of course I was in the bathroom hiding. And it was public. It was in a social event. And it was wow. I remembered. Baruch Hashem. So, what happens? You remember it and >> Once I remembered it then it was like I could un- unlink it. It was totally linked. My stomach was totally linked to that rejection. So, what happens? >> linked to the word unacceptable, which is a negative belief. And I unlinked it. And then realized all these years I've been playing cool. I've been playing bass meat, I've been playing colors, now I'm a cure rabbi. You know, with the guitar and stuff and and meanwhile ignoring my wife, ignoring my kids, ignoring and and ignoring when I played a concert was I giving or taking? Taking. I was taking. When I was teaching shirim was I giving or taking? Taking. Right? When the magid shiur is taking, how much of the shiur you get? And if you think back of your your favorite rebbes when you were a kid, you'll realize that your favorite rebbes were giving. They were the ones who worked it out to be givers. Yeah. Now you're all about giving. Yeah. So how did the possible you start? You figured that out, you unlinked it. Unlinked it and I um and then I I was teaching a pirkei avos shiur in Aish HaTorah at the time and I just told everyone close your books. You're in a seminar. Hm? You already called it a seminar. Yeah, this is now a seminar and I started working with them. And I'm an integrator so I just took the feedback and integrated then took the feedback integrated then took feedback integrated I integrated them. I remember you telling a part of the story that you realized when you know him you love him. Right? Yeah, to to to know him is to love him they say. To know him is to When you know somebody you love them. Right. Which is why the survival strategy of of quiet. Remember survival strategy fight or flight. So I was fight. Yeah. You know, flight would be to shut down, be private. >> Go in the corner. Private, be shy. It's all under rejection obviously. Then there's the failure fight and flight and then out of control fight and flight like being independent with your So that was all built up afterwards. So So yeah, so the um you had just asked about what what you >> You started it in Aish. I asked about the you know him you love him. Yeah, so people who play private, that one, don't have any no one loves them. Wow. Why? Cuz no one knows them. Wow. And they pride themselves on a private person. If you're a private person, you're a very lonely person. That's what you are. Wow. Cuz nobody knows you. So then anyone who says they love you don't really love you. They don't know you. How could they love you? Like what? It's the same thing when you you're always looking good for Yenum. Everything's looking good, looking good, looking good. You're always looking good. So So they So now everyone loves you. It's not you they love. It's what you Project. >> mirrored for them. Right. >> What you copy pasted. So bef- between not trusting anybody with who you are and also always looking good for Yenum, those are the root of loneliness. Wow. If you're always going to copy paste everyone, you're going to be so lonely. And if you're always being so private, never sharing yourself with people, you're going to live your life alone, you know. Alone is the most scary thing on earth and being loved is the most warming It's the deepest need. The deepest need. >> Yeah. It's funny. It's very European. You know, our communities are holding European values now. It's not American communities. It's European communities. And it's very European to stay private like that. To isolate and stay private. >> It's not healthy. Yeah. The war didn't help either because the the all the survivors couldn't talk. Right. Made it worse. >> just like mute. You know, they they couldn't talk because how you going to talk? Maybe it'll come out. Like you can't can never tell what happened. Wow. So then they they never shared. And their kids learned to just keep quiet, you know. Yeah. Everybody's over private. Um there's this thing that you mentioned that you pass someone in the street and there's like this electricity. I always tell it to my kids. It's very powerful. Please say it. I don't actually say that publicly because that's kind of one of the special moments and that comes with you. Okay, >> let's leave it at that. >> That's one >> of the huge breakthroughs, cuz the interestingly, uh um even though the seminar is built for breakthroughs in life, one of the biggest breakthroughs, obviously, is social anxiety. Right. People ask me all the time, like, I'm sure I'll hear it over the weekend, this Shabbos, and in uh Borough Park, is people ask me uh how many people are coming? Uh yeah. In other words, I'm afraid of people. Yes. So, it's a it's a What do you tell them? Come for the first hour and see if you like it? I say the first hour is going to be pretty awkward, cuz, you know, Nobody knows each other. >> to a therapist, the the previous person goes out that door, and then you come in this door, and no one sees each other. But if you're in a group setting, everyone has to sit there. There's nothing less manly than showing up to a man for help, number one. But showing up to a man to help lay Nicole Yeah. >> front of other people. So, it's pretty awkward. But you know what I tell people? I say I say, you can either have the first 45 minutes of the seminar, cuz it's only 45 minutes till everyone relaxes. >> Right. You can either have the first 45 minutes of awkwardness, or you're going to be awkward the rest of your life. Wow. Pick your poison. Wow. Pick your hard, yeah. That's that's I bought a friend, one of the friends I bought. I bought several people. Mechi bought me, and I bought several people. I'm going to tell you my experience the first time I met you. I think it was before you made a seminar in New York officially. It was Mechi got together about 10 people on First Avenue, if you remember, in a in a pillow factory. In a conference room. And we were there just sitting, and everybody paid just 100 bucks. Just it was like a session, a private session of a few hours. And you gave us a paper and homework, and you said, um you asked me uh something. We had to remember like our impactful moment. And never to that minute I remembered my moment. Oh. I had a a khayrem. How do you say khayrem? Yeah, you were put in uh in uh excommunication. Yeah. Excommunication. >> By your the kids in your cheder. >> Yeah, the kid the class and then the other class joined. It was a disaster. >> forget that. But I will when I told my story you were there I was weeping for half hour. You like, "Okay man, bro, we got to finish at some point." I couldn't I couldn't get out of word. I was out. Even the second time I said my story was You know the CIA doesn't interrogate the people they capture until the third day. Really? Yeah, because the first 2 days you're still in you're still with your guard up. But there's something about the human psyche on the third day. That's why it has to be every day. You can't do the seminar once a week cuz everyone come up re-fortified against the the you know the the the experience. Right. >> But the third day everyone's ready to break through. Like that's that's the big day. Okay, before we go to our final message, is there something that you would like to mention or add? The reason I created the Possible You is because people used to come up to me a lot and say how amazing I am, but the way they said it was like la fooket them. Like you're so amazing. But it was like la fooket them or la fooket other people. And meanwhile I'm looking at the most amazing person I've ever seen. You know each one of us are created in the image of God and we believe that. Like if you keep Shabbos, why wouldn't you keep that? But because of our upbringings the negative self-talk starts and then you got to cover it up with all your fight and flight personality moves and now you're getting exhausted by that. People feel it, sense it, at least subconsciously. And the body's keeping the score the whole time. So, you know, look at most people when they're 50, 60, you know, they're they're already their body's turning into more of a cage than a body. Mhm. None of that's necessary. Meaning you we're believers in Hashem and Torah. Like we believe that you're created in the image of God. You're at Tzelem Elokim. You're a chelek Eloka mimaal. That's who you are. Not all the shtussim. Those are lies. But how do you let How do you let go of it? How do you get rid of it? And so I created this program so that people can have whatever they have to do in those four days to unravel the whole story and just let it go. And the proof's in the pudding. We're now a quarter of a century running this. And we're just hitting 15,000 graduates. We're in six cities. We have 80 people working for us. And [clears throat] it is unbelievable what happens to a person between Sunday and Wednesday night. I mean, all you have to do is just get yourself in there, but you'll never be able to convince yourself to go. If you try to even think about it, you'll you'll think not to go. You got to somehow get over it to get in there. You'll say it's the money. You'll say it's the time. You'll say it's the ego because like no one should see me there or whatever. And so you'll miss it. And then you're just going to die one day and be buried with all of this gunk that's for nothing. For nothing. Like you What did you do? Like you That's how you That's what your life's going to be. And if you have the opportunity and you do to come to the Possible You and break it through. If If 5% of what I'm saying is true, and you better believe it's a lot more than 5% because most of the people who are coming it's from word of mouth. Like they they see someone and is totally different vibrationally. They see someone who's like like you're different. What's different about you? And he says, "I went to the Possible You." And the guy says, "Well, I'm on I'm going. I'm going to go to the Possible You." That's who the 15,000 people are. You don't have to believe me. You should believe the people that did it. It It's crazy that it works. I can't believe I'm the one who figured it out, like how to how to unlock this combination lock on everybody's nefesh. But I can tell you this, if you think you're going to figure out some like convincing way that you're going to come, you won't. You actually have to stop trying to convince yourself. Stop thinking about it and just go online, register, and come. And you want to know something? If you go online and register and you don't come, I'll give you your money back. I don't care. But it But press the button. Press the buy button. Just hit it. And you know, if you wind up not coming, we'll give you your money back. No problem. But if you think you're only going to come when you finally get convinced, it'll never happen. Never happen cuz I've been running this thing for so many years. I I don't know how to explain it. I don't know how to explain it at It's It's a process. It's 25 hours over 4 days, non-work hours, all day Sunday from 1:00 p.m. into the night, Monday night, Tuesday night, Wednesday night. It's a lot of hours together. How am I supposed to explain what's going on in there? And And how are you supposed to understand the mechanics that I understand that are taking place there? There's no way for me to really explain that to you. So that all I can offer is you can be free. You can live your life mamash, on fire, generating from the neshama instead of generating from negative beliefs. You can do it. So just jump in. Just press register. Do it. You're worth it. Well, that's beautiful. I I can uh testify myself that uh the Passim you do Yeah, you can give You give your own testimony. >> Yeah, mamash. It It fixes >> what you've seen. And think how many people get >> Me myself. It transforms your life. It opens you to a healthier vibration. It discovers to you yourself what you've been doing and going through, where your frustrations happen and why. Would you be doing this right now if you hadn't done it? >> never, never. I was so I was so far down. You have no idea. You only helped me the first time, right? The first time. It's It's like an onion. It's layers. I had to go more than once to get me up. Right. >> But uh But what did you see with the businessmen you saw there with with Rebbeim that you've seen there? I mean, you've You've sat in there with very chashuve men. >> My wife changes Oh, what kind of people are there? >> What kind of transformation have you seen from them? >> single kind of person. I was trying to invite Charlie Harary here. I'm still trying to get >> help if you want. He's a graduate, too. Yeah, I would love him to come. >> By the way, it's highly confidential, this seminar. Meaning it's um I'm not mentioning any names that I wouldn't know that it would agree to be out there. >> that. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's highly confidential. Not only whatever said in there is confidential, but whoever comes is confidential. You're never allowed to share that you saw someone there unless they tell you you can. Right. >> And um another thing that's important is no one's sharing their life story in there. Meaning the lights are off. You hear someone crying, but you don't know what he's crying about. You know at this point like there's almost zero sharing. Really? Just finished a whole group in Lakewood. >> I wanted to share. I needed it out of my system. I wanted to I was there. I wanted to share. >> to let more sharing. Uh but think how late we were going into >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's 10:00 and 11:30. It was never And now it is. Now it is. Wow. >> There's nuts. There's nuts. >> more efficient. Is it a frommy or it's you? It's That part is me. I'm on the content, but but I realized that everyone's breaking through. But the it's my graduates that created Shabbos Kodesh 20. Yeah. Meaning Shabbos Kodesh 20 is the grand my grandchild. Yeah. Basically. >> 100%. >> One time Mechi got up. I couldn't can't he did this. He got up at the you know, the Motzei Shabbos and then where everyone gets to give a 3-minute talk. You know what his 3-minute talk was? He said, "I created Shabbos Kodesh Tani. Oh, we did the Possible You, me and my friends. We did the Possible You, the leaders of Kodesh Tani. And we got together and we said, "Everyone's got to do this. Everyone's got to do this. Like, we got to we got to transform our people. Like, we're we're children and grandchildren of Holocaust Right. culture. Right. >> Like, we got to transform our community. And And but how are we going to get everyone into Yom Tov seminar? We can't. Let's create a Shabbaton. Wow. That is like all personal growth, all the best personal growth speakers. They created that. They called me in Yerushalayim. They said, "When can you come?" Mhm. And we just finished the the 25th. Right. 25th. So, Mechy gets up there and he says he says that um I we created Shabbos I couldn't believe he did it. We created Shabbos Kodesh Tani. Said that people would open up to personal growth and get into the Possible You. Shh. That's what he said. Wow. I think that's >> date of every Shabbos Kodesh Tani was first "When can I be there?" Wow. Yeah, now it's totally independent there. They don't need me anymore. >> They they grew. It grew. Yeah. I remember when Reb Shimon Spitz used to come talk. Now he would never come. Now he's a rebbe. Oh, yeah. >> But yeah, that's how it starts, you know. Baruch Hashem, the good things I think we should finish off with a song. With the Possible You song. You still have time? What's the time? It's 5:30. 5:30, yeah, we can do it. I If if you don't want to do the whole thing, let's at least No, I'll do the It's short. Find your way back home again. That piece I need. It Do it for me. I don't know who is going to enjoy it. For sure, the people who did the Possible You are like going to going to join us for the week. >> The actual Possible You song is uh a lot of a lot of you know, a lot of Yidden. Maybe you can put your um I'm going to direct you. Two mics? Um Should I plug it off and put it there? Oh, you could do this. Yeah, yeah. That's going to work. Yeah. >> So, a lot of a lot of like Hasidic Yidden, they um they when they hear the beautiful child song Yeah. Right? The beautiful [music] child in you. So, they think it's like a goyish uh you know Right. Cuz it's like major key and it's But how do you know this? It even if it's just in English, it's already a goyish song. Right, right. But it whatever they it comes off to them like a goyish song. Uh but what they don't know is every song until 200 years ago, 250 years ago, since the Scala is was major key songs. Every song was like So, yes. [music and singing] You know what I'm saying? Like every song was major key. You'd never consider changing it? To a minor key? You can't change a song from minor to major. Anyway, but a lot of our songs that are Hamish are major if it's like a like a march or like That's major. But uh anyway, but they you know, people should know that that we've just spent 250 years correcting. Yes. >> To us spirituality has spirituality has to be like >> [singing] >> Why is it that way? We think suffering and people put on this suffering thing. Right. Yeah, nothing wrong with it. For us today, that's that's ruchni. It's ruchni. >> [music] >> But uh it was never it never used to be that way. >> So, it's not necessarily that ruchni should come like that. It's just a association that grew. All the songs of Ashkenaz were major key and especially in Shabbos. Like Carlebach would have never made it. Like it had to be, you know, >> [music] >> It was all like >> So what happened? Sound like Ma'oz Tzur. Now comes it's just only like deep Cracks. So why why is it? We've been through hell, man. >> [laughter] >> Anyway, so I'm asking I'm asking people to have an open mind when they hear the beautiful chazzan. But you wanted to find your way back home a little? Yeah. Seriously? Yeah, I love that piece. The the beautiful child in you is the home. You can sing it with me. Yeah, I'm going to. Find your [singing and music] way back home again. My bright and precious soul. Find your way [singing and music] back home again. My bright and precious soul. People don't realize it's pitch black in the room. Yeah. >> It's in the middle of a whole experience that you're already holding holding your beautiful child crying. And you're doing that. I'm doing his heartbeat. Aw. Find your way. [music] Find [singing] your way. Find [singing and music] your way back home. Cuz every toddler is home. Like you were every one of us was once like the most alive. Doesn't need to eat or drink or sleep. Just running around crazy, full of love, full of self-expression. Like it was your greatest asset, but we all dumped them when we were 3 years old. We started copy-pasting. Putting the meat grinder system. But you're saying we can get it back. I know we can get it back. You see how friendly my little boy is. Like he's with me all the time. Yours is, too. So let's go. Um we'll do the beautiful child. >> Okay, come uh inch this way. Me? Yeah. Yeah, better. >> [music] >> Take a smaller step. Take a deeper breath. Let your [music] motor cool. Slow down to a crawl as your defenses [music and singing] fall. Feel your soul refuel. Everything [music] you thought all that you believed hold it in your hand [singing] and let it go. Nothing left to fear. [music] Open to receive. >> [music] >> Setting free the child the beautiful [music and singing] child in you. Do a little dance. [music] Sing a simple song. Laugh so hard you're crying. >> [music] >> Chase a butterfly. Climb a mountain side. >> [music] >> Once again, you're flying. [singing] >> [music] >> The person of your dreams is coming into view. Nobody can [music] take [singing] that dream away. Somebody who trusts. Somebody who shares. Someone like the child. The beautiful child in >> [music] >> you. >> [music] [singing] [music and singing] [music] >> Everything you thought. All that you believed. [music] Hold it in your and let >> [music] >> it go. Everyone you love wants you to achieve. They want to meet the child. The beautiful [music] child in you. The beautiful child is [singing] >> [music] >> you. >> [music] [music and singing] [music] >> That's [sighs] how we descend into heartbeat and feeling alive after the possible you. It's a choyiv kudish for every single Hasidic shingaman especially. I speak for Hasidic shingaman because I come for it. Guess where I just came from. No. Rav Malkiel Kotler? Kotler. Really? And all of the top leaders of of Lakewood. BMG? Yep. Rav Sherer, Rav Winter, Rav Uri Deutsch, Rav Henoch Shach. You gave them a class? I brought the books and everything, all the mamakaymas, we went through the whole thing. I taught the whole seminar. Each one of them are mamish geniuses. What it took What it takes a group four days, these guys hopped in like I mean, they didn't get to go through all the work. >> Right, right. But I'm sure they're they're like blown away positively. >> Blown away. Blown away. It's a mitzvah. It's a pleasure having you in just being in your presence. Keeps us Your tone of your voice is probably the best key of the possible you. Yeah. Baruch Hashem. Thank you for coming. >> a musical instrument and your voice can just Ah. start resonating properly. Bezrat Hashem. Thank you so much for coming. Thank you for listening. Subscribe, comment, like, support, and we will see you by the next one, Bezrat Hashem.