Rabbi Yom Tov Glaser: The Possible You - Misery Comfort Zone

Shalom and welcome to practical spirituality here in Asia tour in the old city of Jerusalem overlooking the Temple Mount at just a couple announcements number one is I finally after much promises got my media club created which is called the yom tov media club calm and in that club what we're doing is basically all kinds of projects but they need paying for and personal needs hiring and whatever is a lot of investment involved but what it's doing is everyone who these classes impact please go to the possibly please go to yom tov mediacom yom tov media club.com it's brand news i'm like i can't get it right here yom tok media club calm and and please join be part of the club it's anything from students giving ten bucks to two higher amounts and to all the way to business people who can also get write-ups for consultants Inc because I will offer consult and save for the people giving the larger amounts and the but the main thing is you're part of a club of getting words that need to get out there to help people people need a lot of help these days there's a deep sense of meaninglessness in the world today and in just this orientation that's happening for young people and old people alike and and somehow I'm being given the words that are making a big difference for a lot of people so I'd appreciate the support to help me get the word out cuz we should I should be optimized 2019 is a lot of tech out there I don't know anything about it so I I'm going I am in the process of hiring people for all of this so please join the club and be part of it and obviously because I'm such a benevolent guy whoever's in that club you you bet there's gonna be some good things happening for you so I don't know what it is yet one thing I'm happy to mention everyone's names at the Kotel I pray there almost every day so I mention their names but but also I'm doing stuff all over the world and you'll definitely be invited for my events especially the private ones not to mention some time with me in Israel okay what are their announcement Oh another nose my goodness you know every every Jewish institution in the world seems to be having a cause match program to like try to raise money for it so Asia tour is also doing that and myself and myself rabbi Nikki Mayer and I are doing it as well and so if any would be willing to be on our teams it's gonna be one late night I think next week where we're gonna be raising money for Asia tour with I think four matches so I think every amount that comes in gets quadrupled but we need a team and we're gonna be you'll get some good time with me and rabbit rabbit Nicola and I and we will so anyone wants to join our team please do we need that I don't know if women are welcome I forgot to ask that and because we're all gonna be together and it's with all the achieve all in the same room so it could be it's only men I don't know if I snitched okay and last announcement is my daughter's best friends getting married and she ain't got no dough for anything for any clothing or anything for a wedding and and so my daughter asked me to make an announcement and I've been avoiding it each day because I just not sure it's so appropriate and I just gave in today and I'm asking for anyone who wants to help buy some of the outfits when you marry off a girl you need to get outfits for the whole sheva breakfast which become her Shabbos outfits for the year and but she needs outfits for each of the days I'm sure she's borrowing the dress from a dress loan Society for a wedding dress but we were talking about her actual outfits that she's going into her marriage with and you know they got to be nice outfits and it's one per day of the chevre bravas and it's does become her Shabbos outfits anyway she ain't got no dough and the wedding's like three weeks from now so she's already out of time to even go get fitted and but there's no money to pay for the as anyway so anyone who would like to be part of that please be in contact with me directly you can always watch at me at my number which is plus nine seven two five two eight three four four six six four and I happen to know her because she's my daughter's best friend and she's the most darling kid in the world and she's just so amazing like if you met her you'd all just be like literally like sliding your credit cards you know just to do anything for this girl cuz she's just such a such a doll like I'm a kid amazing kid she's 18 I think and she's just super special yeah nice that's the kind of guy I need to hire I would never have thought of that so that's very important thank you okay so today we're doing an excerpt from the possible use seminar possibly Scimitar has been running for 17 years it's got over 8,000 graduates all over the world I've run it and they the next one starts Sunday it's in Hebrew and in America we do them all so there will be the next summer I think's in Brooklyn and May and then there will be Lakewood and then Muncie New York outside chance doing Monroe and we're also doing London England probably the Stamford Hill community there but anyone can come from Golders Green or Hendon or any of those other areas English we just finished last week which was really exciting first time we did it in English in a year don't know when we'll do that again because the seminar is in Hebrew in Israel so please feel free to look that up the possibly org today is an excerpt from that and it's called understand it's really about understanding what is called the MCZ MCZ stands for the misery comfort turn down the volume amendment misery comfort zone the misery comfort zone is the amount of misery that you're comfortable with and anything that threatens to make you happier you will sabotage okay I'm gonna say it again it's the amount of misery our comfortable with and anything that threatens to make you happier you will sabotage human beings have a horrible lack of identity a horrible lack and and the reason is because we're not supposed to have one but what can you do every adult you meet seems to a cut and pasted identity all over themselves and have to spend the rest of their lives in a white knuckled rollercoaster ride to protect it which is a real waste of time and if you're a Jew from the tribe of Israel so you certainly shouldn't be getting rid of your self-image because it's just a joke I mean think about the word image image means from the word what's the image from the word imagine sowhat's self-image of the imaginary self yeah no one needs ain't nobody got time for that yeah you walking around with an imaginary self and the other one is a picture like Google Images it's a picture of yourself well when did you take that snapshot chances are you took it it's some embarrassing moment or something you know horrific situation when you were kid and it kind of something got like heavy negative self-image got locked in and that became your self-image so right who wants that but everyone's walking around with these self images and they're and Judaism says it's not even relevant like your negative self-image is not even remotely relevant and good luck claiming good luck claiming when you get upstairs you should all live to 120 Oh mate good luck when you get upstairs claiming some stupid story happen to you when you were eight because God said yeah it happened it happened it happened never given it happened dude and and when you're in the world of truth you can't come up there telling stories about stuff that happened to okay if meaning you you can certainly mention something that happened but it's like it's not happening anymore but yet you keep living your life as if it is constantly happening and so self-image is nobody's friend it's nothing you want it's not gonna be helpful and if you're wondering how to live your life from the place of being truly nobody the that was what's the fame Wednesday knows Monday's class Monday's class pretty sure nobody was Monday's class and that's the what Monday Monday's class was all about how to be a nobody and and it's great it's really a fabulous place to be and that's what it means that's really bottom line what Judaism's trying to get you to you'll notice all your resistance to judaism like to really give yourself over to surrender to it is that you know deep down it's gonna rip out or whatever you know of yourself in you know that's scary who wants to like lose their sense of self but the truth is your sense of self isn't worth having no offense your sense of self is a liability to anyone who's close to you you understand you're a you're a real pain and then you know what to be close to and that and that's because it's not your true self image if you if you're at your true self image is a pleasure it's the one that you're walking around with that's a pain and so you got everyone jumping through hoops just to be close to you and you know what a waste of time what a waste of energy and what a what what drama and drama and and loneliness and every other kind of negative emotion that comes from yourself image like and underneath it all is beauty that's just like the true you like the real beautiful person that God created you to be and if you're wondering what to do with being nobody that's that was Monday's class which was what was the date of that that was the 4th of March 2019 you can check that way out towards the end of the classes when we did it with a really good graphic on the board to to navigate okay misery comfort zone is we wind up knowing ourselves with a certain amount of misery now the misery come freaking zone is on a scale of one to ten we have another color shape let's see how that black works not so good we had a better black or that so there's a there's two halves to the misery comfort zone there is the upper half of the misery comfort zone which is six through ten and then there is the lower half which is five through one and the upper half of the misery comfort zone are are things that people would would do that is called self-deprecating behavior that's self-deprecating behavior and the way we would look at this is in a pie chart we would look at it as how far does that camera goes go till this far yeah so in a pie chart we would we would look at it like this no one sees if you have me that black and Mister meditation over there black pen right over your head just throw it which one was it oh there we go so nice move I have a great garden fence up there can you try that one more time it's so hard to hit from here cuz you know it looks totally easy but we have this roof thing the ceiling thing gives me this tiny little window so for years I've only made it once or twice but that Bank she had good reactions I'm good she's got I'm good going on okay ready okay it's really hard to get it you can throw it up to the Graveyard okay from your good luck I'd love to see you good it's a it's like an optical illusion but once you're about to release you realize wait where do I so anyway again fun in the essentials room you should know that the fun we have in here these fun moments are the live feeds favorite parts and really their favorite parts and then when I show the crowd it's even more of a favorite part except all the girls are like trying to jump under their desks and stuff hoping like someone doesn't realize they're teaching school you know or whatever who knows what I mean it's one of the most ironic things in the world this is girls and guys you should you put a camera in front of guys are all like yeah you put it for camera from a girls are like guys spent zero time looking nice for their day zero time they just pull on their clothes and if they slept in them they just leave that house where's not as true today but the girls spent all this time on themselves they like get themselves all ready for they day many girls spent a lot of time in themselves and then you put a camera on them and they hide it's like would you spend all that time for if not to smile for the camera no I certainly suggested I personally suggest spending next to no time on your clothing next to no time like for example all those years I was surfing so I never showered because I spent all my time in the ocean never more underwear because I was always wearing surf shorts and I didn't wear underwear for 12 years and so then I came then I came to then I came to Israel and I come to Israel and it's like people are wearing like way too much clothing and so I'm looking at these men in suits and I'm like what the hell and and it was it was summertime it was June I was like holy moly and but little did I know did I know that they had me beaten they had me beaten oh my god they won in the ultimate paying no attention to clothing because I would wear whatever surf shirts I had and a t-shirt or a tank top every day and I always wore the top shirt which my housekeepers had to learn to like to switch him up because I wound up in the same two shirts all the time because the turnaround of laundry was like super fast in our home and so so I would wind up in the same shirt like I literally go to bed that night my housekeepers would have it back on the top the next day clean and I mean I will give at noon or whatever unless there were big waves so so the so I've one of the same shirt for a week straight so that someone told my housekeepers to like you got to shuffle those shirts shuffle the deck so that I wear different clothing anyway ever since I found the her ad world it's a blast you were the same clothes every single day you never ever think about it I mean we hope they change their undergarments you know but the but that's all you got to change just change you're under grandma's you can wear the same clothes the whole day until they're like filthy you know but once they're filthy so you send them to a dry cleaner how often are your clothes filthy it's not like we're car mechanics you know so we're generally staying clean I'm probably as I'm speaking to spray some on me oh my gosh you know what's on me is my brand-new cashmere sweater that my mother-in-law bought me do you know about my cashmere sweater issue you don't know about this I wore the same cashmere sweater from the beginning of the winter to the end of the winter for six years straight why because I I thought the mother-in-law's buy you sweaters to show you that they love you that's the job of mother-in-law's I mean you imagine Miller's sweater collection so so I just I don't know where I got this idea but how do you know your mother-in-law loves you she bought you a sweater so my mother-in-law bought me a cashmere sweater like maybe six years ago maybe eight years ago yeah six years ago and it was the second or third time she had done that and so that's how I knew she loved me because how else do you know your mother-in-law loves you I mean you know the difference being a mother-in-law and I and a vulture is vultures wait till you're dead anyway we're gonna get to the misery comfort zone though right this is what happens when you don't pay me you had to be doing this in the middle of summer so no I'm starting to crack up anyway so I finally I couldn't tell her for six years and wearing the same ratty sweater because I refused to buy myself a new sweater because then I'd be admitting that she doesn't love me I refused to admit my mother-in-law doesn't love me so I finally broke the news to her last summer bad season to be bothering anybody about sweaters but last time I finally got the courage and I called my mother-in-law and I said you know what I just have to share something with you that I've been waiting for six years for a new sweater because I refuse to buy myself a sweater and admit that you don't love me and she's just like what are you talking like this is the strangest phone call I have ever gone and I'm like well let's just get to the main party a new cashmere sweater that's what's necessary here and she was just like okay I'll check it out you know and she she went on to check it out which they're totally unavailable they're not in shops anymore because of internet and they're certainly not around in the summer hey oh my gosh of all the escaped apprentices in the world and ladies and gentlemen this is my wife not my mother-in-law I'm speaking about your mom in my sweater my new sweater come sit is she here [Music] we could add her stand outside for a minute how's it going say hi to all the people say hi to my little seminary with a couple boys spiced so anyway the the she just arrived and brought me a cashmere sweater just let me know she loves me which is amazing okay now if you look at yourself on a pie chart you'll notice that the that there's a big part of the pie over here big part of the pie that says I love you which means you're telling yourself I love you you're actually saying to yourself I love you and a lot of us are saying torsos I love you I mean when you buy yourself an ice cream you're saying to yourself I love you when you take yourself to the gym you're saying to yourself I love you when you stretch you're saying to yourself I love you and take a hot bath you're saying I love you like we say I love you but there's another part of us that's saying what I I what I hate you and this is the weird thing about human beings I imagine the animal kingdom doesn't have this and we have a voice inside our head that says I hate you and you literally have this part of you that hates you the weirdest thing and it often gets even though it's only one slice out of eight you know it's one out of the eight slices is that it sometimes give the microphone it gets the microphone and you have the I hate you running and running things like making choices for you I mean don't we all make I hate you choices throughout the day all the time that's an I hate you choice when you skip the gym that's an I hate you choice when you take an elevator instead of the stairs that's an I hate you choice when you ask for your sandwich on white instead of whole wheat it's an I hate you choice when you're eating junk food it's and I hate your choice when you over eat inside I hate your choice when you are in a perfectly good relationship and you just shoot yourself in the foot and blow the relationship like for example it's a person who you know every person needs a phone call at a certain amount of time like you all have a friend that needs a phone call once a week you have another friend once every two weeks once a month whatever but you'll skip it just to get drunk a little drama in your life you know if you're a husband you'll come home late if you're a wife you'll nail him at the doorway for coming home late and ladies you never thrash a husband at the doorway you got something to say to him you got something to say don't let it mean something first okay a hungry man is an angry man he's not very receptive until he's eaten some food women are never hungry okay oh well you don't have your own kitchen yet how many times my wife prepared for me dinner and I say you're gonna join me she's like I've been eating the whole time she's in the kitchen how do the house to get hungry well I mean I mean no doubt if she's coming back from work she's gonna be hungry yeah it makes you don't thrash your wife or the door wait give me a break husbands it's a one-way street thrashing spouses okay then don't thrash their wives if they're smart you know it's a one-way street that the spouse thrashing is woman to man not man to woman it's just one of those what do you call those things double standards it's one of those double standards just the way it goes and and guys [Music] by a helmet now so you got this I love your voice you got this I hate your voice and and you'll notice that in different aspects of life and there's a lot of aspects of our lives we go for the I hate you statement a lot of the times and that's what we're calling here as the people who are on the misery comfort zone their zone is six to ten million pretty high those people are still involved in what are called self-deprecating behaviors self-deprecating deprecating from the word you know that word appreciate like when you buy a new car it starts to depreciate like it makes things worth less over time so self-deprecating behavior means that someone who's involved in stuff that's that's making life worse for that and so someone who's that at ten is just like constantly sabotaging themselves in every every which way I mean these are selling tens are like suicidal people you know those are people are were often threatening suicide contemplating suicide burning all their bridges we think they'd burn all the bridges but they need one to jump out of them they they're always burning bridges and they're not a funny subject to be making jokes about but I noticed though the bridges in New York lately have all gotten its they've all gotten its so like I bet these poor guys are like they can't do anything right you know they hurl themselves off the bridge and about 30 feet down like and there's like a whole party of guys laughing at him down there all all the other guys who jumped you know and they're they're just like we're all stuck down here together you know like we're hoping the cops are gonna throw blankets you know but there's there's literally nets under all the bridges in New York now and and with signs and who you can call and don't do it and it's tomorrow's another day and there's the whole thing I mean when you're stuck in traffic it's quite it's quite inspiring quite inspiring to drive on those bridges you know till they get all the words of physic you know when you're driving along anyway but those are tens tens I like you know they're really messing things up I mean they've already ruined their relationship with their families they're probably hooked on drugs cuz in ten needs I mean you got to numb the pain so they're numbing it with stuff that you basically got to steal to buy and because really hard to keep down a job when you got afford that kind of that kind of you know drug habit and so the last thing they resort they have is they'll people who trust them now how much longer they trust them after they blow it with them no longer so they burned all those relationships and and these are tens yeah I don't think any of you even know tens you know in tens the life expectancy of a ten is like really sure because they they just don't last very long unless they get help and if they get help they can start moving their way down nines are much more common nines are just like you know just people with disastrous that's that's the nine people the eight people are very very common eight people are just generally an unhealthy people and they're like that's the majority of people and then you got um the classic American like I was a seven the classic American you know the soccer mom and and then of course the boy or girl going to play soccer and those are all set glassware so to give you an example of seven sevens like they have to catch a cold every like six to eight weeks and if you're wondering why they have to catch a cold it's because I mean how can you always be going you've gotta rest but a seven doesn't deserve rest because that would be too much I love you for a seven so the seven rest via catching a cold catching a cold now you're off the hook now you get to go into bed for a few days and so that's why they they have to catch a cold every six eight weeks is how many weeks can you go without resting and so sevens also they they tend to they tend to have pretty good relationships but all their relationships are using others to feel good about themselves including their own parents and siblings and their spouse or their significant others or their best friend it's all just dramatic and and highly using the the relationship not that they don't love these people they may very much love their mother but if they looked closely they noticed they'll call their father when they're feeling this or they're calling their mother when they're feeling this way they call this sibling want to feel that way they call this friend with a film that were there they've got like they've got all the all of these bandages out there called relationships and that's that's a seven sevens don't have real relationships sevens are involved in themselves and healing themselves it's not real healing uh let's say bandaging themselves with using other people those are sevens sevens they love exercise but they were very inconsistent so like they'll buy the bike but the bike just collects to us or they'll buy the surfboard and get surfing lessons but the surfboard winds up collecting dust as well they'll join a gym sevens join gyms but that's about all they do is join the gym they don't actually go to the gym they quit the gym very quickly why do you think gyms offer these like really cheap cheap memberships because they know you're not gonna go and so they just get your cheap membership and you know it's whatever that's how gyms work and and they what else do sevens do any other examples they got any other examples seventh you're hardly a seventh you brighter and remember the seven days anyway but they would generally over eat they'll eat a salad but then they're gonna like do something stupid right after yeah bill they'll there's a little crazy they like they like getting high or drunk and stuff like that they don't do it all the time they're not like aids and nines who are like constantly trying to numb themselves but they do like their escapes and what I didn't define eight in any detail but they're more than sevens at this point they're higher level of misery and the what else oh sevens have to get hurt like once a year at least break a finger toe maybe a wrist they usually don't break like bigger stuff they gotta break something and and they also they also get in a car crash about once a year they need a car crash just one girl I just need one car crash please and it's it's never a dangerous one it's just like a fender bender nobody gets hurt and they generally hit another 7 and so they can just get out of there you just get out of their cars and thank each other yeah I thought I'm making a video which would show like you know cop cars and you know emergency vehicles have like big numbers on the roofs and the helicopters can direct them so the I think I hadn't thought of a good video describing sevens and then having like one seven leave like the five towns and then another seven leaves like liquid and you just watch them driving around all day you know high speed until finally like somewhere in Brooklyn Lily you know like one of them's making a lab the other ones making a ride and they're both texting and boom you know and they perfectly run into each other and then thank each other for the little fender-bender know that they get to have they get to exchange information now they can talk about it and afternoon I'm gonna get got a little car crash and anyway those are all sevens you know I just thinking this is a brilliant thing for insurance companies I should really help insurance companies create new formulas because their formulas are not including these things and if I could get a full misery comfort zone evaluation so I think insurance companies would adjust for them because they're very predictable very look I can just tell you as a rabbi having people come to me all the time like once someone's come to me one or two times I start to hear the patterns of what's going on in the legs like their number is so obvious you know if they're an eight or nine there are seven you know six if they're not if they're once they're in the five through one they're probably not coming to me so the five through ones these ones come to the seminar but they don't come for them one on once the five through ones are people were involved in what it called life-affirming behavior these people are involved in what's called life-affirming behavior they're living in the world of I love you and live and I love you you're doing life-affirming behavior so they the way they work so if you're wondering what's a five versus a one is just regiment how regimented is that person some people aren't that excited about being ones I personally don't really want to be a one which is kind of weird but I don't I just don't I enjoy too many funny things like I like late nights I get more energy the later it gets just my energy level just I'm a night person I'd be interesting take a poll here who are the day people I don't want to hear about teenage like running away from the world I'm talking about like like if you were really everything was going great in your life you're already set you're married you're working and you're living your life everything's going great is your energy level higher in the day timer in the night time so all the everyone has to vote day or night ready oh the night people raise your hand raise them high so I can get a feel okay all the day people raise your hand Dave people so yeah okay it was almost even every night one night 'one a little bit over day okay so I don't know what happened over there but the um anyway we've got life-affirming behaviors and it's all about regiment so like the most regimented person I ever met with life-affirming behaviour rabbis Eliquis Caen never met reveille Zelig Luskin he's quite a person to meet and I'm pretty sure he teaches in this program as well yeah he teaches her amazing so he's here @h everyday or some days and wednesdays thursdays and he he's 74 years old something like that when he gets home at night he checks his counter on his waist he has a little step counter to see if it advanced enough meaning it's checking how many kilometers a day he walks and if it was under the amount while the rest of us would just say well okay that's what I did today he'll actually leave his house and walk around Surratt skin' Street for a while till he gets to the number that is his goal meaning that he doesn't compromise he's a screams regiment I ran into him once on his way I think I summon the airport yeah in the airport I said we're worried he said I was in Australia and I'm like what wouldn't you get a speaking tour in Australia he says no I have a great grandson in Australia yeah I guess in your Shiva katana for someone else so I said what do you yeah so who why'd you go to Australia he's like how could I have a great grandson that I don't have a relationship with I flew to Australia and I spent a week with my great grandson because because he's not gonna have anyone in his family that he doesn't have a real relationship with you know which is really interesting and my wife and I know a lot of people with lots of grandkids and lots of great grandkids and they're not going for that you know they they love them they get obviously they all the kids line up for Hanukkah gelt on Hanukkah and Zadie you know the ulties ad is like giving everyone their their guilt and stuff and super sweet but it's not Rabbi Plissken Plissken is not settling for anything he's like full regiment is diet his inner speech to himself is so clean and positive and motivating his relationships if he has a zero tolerance for drama and relationships if there's any drama he's just gonna go right in there and like talk it out you know like let's get this let's get this worked out right away he writes a book a day like every day you meet him he's like have you seen my new book and you know I mean like he has projects and he just fulfills his goals you know just know you doesn't shoot himself in the foot ever now nor does anyone shoot themselves in the foot if there are five to one but the questions are regimented Europe so like for example I really like Shabbos food and Shabbos food is an exactly health food but you'll notice that and especially in my home that you'll notice that people are cleansing more on Sundays where we're resetting our systems to kind of get back to optimal you know system health in our physical bodies and we also I also I'm crazy about beer you know I'm I believe beer is how we know God loves us and and but bureaus alcohol and alcohols no good you know how cause it's kind of one of the lamest drugs God put on the planet you know alcohol it's there's almost nothing good you can say about it you know maybe one glass loosens you up a little bit you know maybe that's a good thing for people who are uptight but other than that like definitely not my drug of choice but the but anyway beer is is delicious I mean it's just the ultimate beverage no I know some people don't like beer but it's I mean we could maybe be friends in another lifetime but I'm just not willing to not have beer because I'm just afraid God's gonna ask me why didn't you drink beer and and the and also just not any beer like it's gotta be really cracked like really good handmade craft beer which is you know like just hits your tastebuds like a freight train and so craft beer is also you know a fear of God thing you know cuz I'm not gonna drink lager and any night fights if I have no choice you know and I've been like doing sports it's like a sports drink it's an Oklahoma sports drink longer okay enough said about beer the point is is that that you can once you're in the five to one you can choose your spot the main thing is that you're going for the I love yous there's no I hate jizz there at all there maybe have repercussions to some of the things you love you know it might be you love a sport that's that's dangerous that's not an I hate you just be careful you know wear bra wear body armor when you're doing that sport you see the same people doing the sport without the body armor and those are the I hate you types doing that same sport but if you're doing that for it you're doing it with body armor cuz you're an i-love-you person and you know you don't have any tolerance for cuts and scrapes and bruises and broken bones like that it's not that's not part of your repertoire yes ma'am yeah what's good for them which is what I'm calling is I love you statements for as I hate your statements okay we're making a real black and white like everything you're doing is either I love your I ain't you now we're getting to the advice part of the class and someone else have a question yes yeah for sure you can be in a mix you can definitely be in a mix there could be people who trigger you and send you into like higher zones of misery comfort zone so you can get triggered by things you could also have moved related triggers to you know some in a low mood like it could much more easily eat something stupid than someone in the high mode the next day so so that you understand like they can move around a bit and it can be moved oriented the five through ones don't care what mood they're in really that's not gonna be where they're eating from but but someone alone would certainly could be doing me I hate use at that at that point now now what do we do about this like what are you supposed to do let's say okay I know my number I know I'm an 8 or an omen 9 or a Noma 7 or an umma 6 so what do you do once you know your number so here's the amazing thing is all you need to do it's quite simple all you have to do is have up to 51% or what I'm really saying is animage hora T I love yous per day you can put yourself in a point system I would put yourself in a point system you just got to end in the plus so every I hate you do is and mine is every I love using plus so let's say you're just going into a building and you got to get up to the third floor and you haven't really got any exercise this week and you say you know what I've pump up those stairs there's running up those stairs and that's at that now your plus one hey first thing in a day plus one did you make your bed making your beds for sure this morning I made my bed yeah I mean so that was plus one right there okay wash my hands by the bed plus two yeah it didn't didn't you know I brought the bucket and wash the hands by the Plus actually woke up early this morning I wind up washing over there but the but I went back to sleep after that because it was like dawn anyway plus two is wash my hands by the bed remember to say Modigliani plus three you know just kept going into plusses anyway so you want to you want to work your way in those pluses you get a couple - there's no big deal you don't have to be a saint overnight there's nothing wrong with a little white bread yeah I'll take that on white bread please that's fine you got a minus one enjoy the sandwich no big deal you already plus three puts you down to two you're still in the closet good you got a majority and and then of course you know you're you're you're driving home and you're supposed to be meeting somebody and you're the internet colors I just revelation I call it just so late what's the right thing to do call see you're like I'm just gonna shrug late then you're like wait a moment +2 right now I'm calling you call it your plus three plus three moving your way up anyway all you have to do is finish in the plus doesn't matter you can do ten minuses in a row but you might have been a surplus of ten pluses and row so now you've down to zero and now all you need is one plus four you go to bed which might be setting up the water before you go to bed it might be that would be a plus it might be saying Shama seated on the side of your bed instead of laying down so that's that might be a plus for you hey maybe you don't it's not necessary in your life to do that but but because you're at zero or you're in the negatives do a couple things at the end of the night maybe you already hit the bed you realize you didn't brush your teeth now you're gonna get up brush your teeth normally it's a plus T yeah you realize you did not Mari that's like plus ten yeah that's the most painful thing in the world are girls supposed to get up girls who have taken on Marva they supposed to get up they realize in Marvin are they yeah cuz I okay better definitely supposed to get out of it it's just the worst the worst thing ever and why did you wind up in bed without Marv because you probably were like so busy and so wiped out that you finally like laid down in your bed and like just as you're about to lose consciousness and realize you better say Shema you know before you fall asleep you realize wait I don't think I said Chaumont tonight I didn't doubt Marv no and then it's like violins from horror movies and like fingernails on chalkboards and you're just like you imagine what kind of Mari that's gonna be that's a Mari that's a true korban lush Jim you know it's just the Corbyn it's and it's just a sacrifice it's not gonna be your your you know you're not gonna be that into it he's got to get it done in not to mention we're not we're not allowed to pray in our pajamas you know or you know whatever you wear to bed you know you got to actually put some on yeah even that's a okay I have to end up in deposit but just to find doing bad things because yeah I think you better not use the system first you're the first person in 17 years asking me this question Oh someone might say that you can't teach for the layman Tony's a lame-o I don't even go on there right now it's already four o'clock I think it's 4:15 whoa we gotta go anyway just bottom line real quick is figure out what number you are and just do the majority I love yous you get yourself down a number after three weeks you'll get used to it you're next you know hey you're that number to go down another number like right now you all get a freebie you can already go down one number just do it after three weeks you'll be so used to it and I'm gonna want a touch white bread cuz you got used to the things I mean you got used to jumping up staircases flying ups run so whatever you get used that number and that's your new number you got used to it once you get used to it that's your new number it's just that easy but to go down to numbers takes if you want to go down another number that takes a couple months I'd say to get down another number takes about three months more numbers six months a year but to get from the six to the five you're no longer doing self-deprecating behaviors at all that can take a couple years that took me three four years three four years to get over to here and it's not like I don't do some stupid once in a while I do stupid things once in a while but it's not like my regular thing to do stupid things we're talking about regular meaning even a one you know even though one can do something stupid sometimes and just like I don't know instead of eating breakfast he ate you know a half a bucket of ice cream or something you know hey you can you're always capable of doing something stupid and it's really not a big deal but we're talking about what your day day day day day you know day after day looks like that's what we're really discussing here okay show me everybody have a beautiful day Shalom Shalom and please join the club yeah I set this whole Club up so anyone who was thinking about doing it please make it happen all the best