Finding safety in God

[Music] show them and welcome to practical spirituality here in Asia tour in the old city of jerusalem overlooking the Temple Mount so we've gone through this amazing wash cycle we started in LL where we were starting to look at our ways and and then we moved our way to you know open the door for these people just so they could come in yeah come on in guys what are you doing you can hear a sound bite just hang out by the door anyway the what we're going that water brew the unless an emergency I think we better keep it here for for my speaking yeah get my voice lubricate it's really just to keep my voice way hi welcome I'm gonna start again we just finished we just finished this wash cycle from El oh there was a forty days till till yesterday so um Kippur 40 day wash cycle we blew the shofar most of those days and we and we were we've been slowly bringing ourselves closer and closer to recognition of our you know our stuff and in as much as that stuff gets in the way of our connection of God that's all right relationships only as strong as its weakest link and who's been the weaker link in this case it's been us okay now I know some of you think God's a weaker link because he doesn't give you everything he wants but that's probably cuz you look at God like a father and he is like a father sorry you've been looking at God like a grandfather you know I promise you when my little grandkids come by I will hand them candy every time I'm not doing that for my kids I'm not taking my kids with dentist every day you know like there comes the grandkids we've been treating treating God like our grandfather like he should somehow just give us whatever we want all the time and in fact parents are better at this job because they actually they're thinking out what's good for you and sometimes what's good for you is a bright red behind okay and God gives you a bright red behind all the time okay he does it different ways he does it different ways like for example marriage I mean you can't get a bigger bright red behind the get married yeah you get married your behinds gonna be bright and red and it's gonna look like I a stop sign yeah and not that your wife's or her husband is ever gonna spank you but you'll notice you get whooped all the time and they and it can be just a look that they give you or or just a feeling in in the in the room you know but you're learning and you're learning and you're learning and and so God works through this and this is why all you single people must get married as soon as possible because because especially if you're over the age of let's say 23 or something that you're your prime it's probably obsolete how much you're gonna grow as a single person so at this point you must have that growth happen as a result of being a little too intimate with somebody called marriage and and then that'll help you grow for the rest of your life you know very intensely and that's how we grow and that's it and and you'll learn you'll learn that way but you're not going to learn single so now if you're totally unmarriable right now so then get yourself Muriel do what it takes to get yourself variable ASAP because right now if you're not married well it means you'd be a liability to marry so get yourself to the point where it be that you're someone worth marrying and if you feel you're there so then so then don't waste any time you know get get with it and I have a class online please feel free to watch and many people watched it and have succeeded in getting married called the six ways of expediting finding your soulmate anyone here ever heard that class uh yeah you've heard that class okay but you guys are still single I don't think you're even dating so yeah so anyway but there's six ways to expedite finding your soulmate okay that's not our class we've been in this wash cycle trying to get involved in what's between us and God and the answer is we are between us and God are were the issue and so we worked it through and we finally got to Yom Kippur where we take where we took full responsibility for the jerks that we are hopefully it broke you hopefully it broke you I understand that probably half you listening to this aren't broken probably most you maintain your resolve as people are stubborn as hell and you know that's just the way we are witty we we you know once you've done something long enough it becomes the you you once you've done something long enough you create a story around it and that becomes your your justification or should we call it instead self-deception meaning you live in full self-deception all the time and so do I we're all big bluffers and where we are the most in the way of everything that we do because once you've done something for a while it because human beings are philosophical will create a whole story around it and everything will totally make sense and crazy stuff makes sense like reminding me of a I saw a picture of two kids whose arms were were burned and lacerated reaching over the Child Services people who were carrying them into the van and they're reaching over screaming mama as their mother was being put into a police car okay that's you that's you meaning meaning not that's you who god forbid you know he's God no no no one's ever had anything that bad but whatever was going on in your home growing up has be has been a story you've been telling yourself all these years and the biggest dysfunction in the world makes total sense to a human being as long as they have their reasons and we are very reasonable people we are reason enabled reasonable like we put a little check by the word reason and we'll let we'll just get make up reasons for every kind of dysfunction out there but if we follow the prescription of the beginning of ll till this day we have now shed our skin and we are ready now to actually have something real happen and what's that real thing what's the real thing that happens when you shed your skin and the answer is connection now you're ready for connection you are you know you've been beat blasted by the by the Machine and of Judaism and and you're ready for true connection which is beautiful and now that makes you like a newborn baby and also even if you're one of those people who maintained your resolve meaning you kept your stories going and you're still stuck in all your stuff nevertheless God has washed you clean we're all clean right now the biggest sin I have at this point since yesterday I think I did something I made two blessings for a Priya hada my yesterday in the meeting I had already made one yes meaning last night when I was home I ate something that was odd them on about 20 minutes later my wife served me something I made a blessing again and although that may be okay in your own home because back to Erin in your own home you're allowed you never know what you might eat so you can make new blessings on the same foods food types but so maybe I didn't blow it okay I must have done something else wrong what I do wrong I don't know I think I procrastinated going to sleep a little too long last night that was one of the things I took on and I didn't even make it one day you know it was to go to bed earlier but I felt a bit of Rage in my body I was feeling rage ever felt rage inside I was feeling rage it was my sugar levels just from having fasted all day and then like I don't know that I was imbalanced last night when the food hit my system it just didn't hit right and and so I realized I need to chill before I go to sleep let's see how I tell my story that's my reasons for already blowing off my one thing I took on I mean I took on a couple things but one of the big ones was get to sleep early now and Here I am being reasonable but but I did want to go to feeling good now where we holdin so here we are washed off brand-new babies but when you're a brand-new baby you don't want to just go out into the street where do you put a brand new baby at least in Western civilization we're in a craving guys we're gonna take this from a boy in a crib has nothing brand-new babe and it was just born where do you put the brand new baby nice you guys are amazing no that would be in Africa in in Western civilization we put them in a nursery yeah they're putting the nursery you should know half the time I have some guys at an incubator yeah I think they put in an incubator so anyway you put it into nursery and holobyte we put in arms that's where we should put the baby and it should stay there but we generally put babies and padded cells and leave and then when it screams out of utter when it screams from utter isolation everyone has determined that it must be hungry even though a baby can't ever be hungry you realize a baby can mean its body could be hungry but that's only for like super irresponsible parents and I've met them I met that I've been a visit someone's house no one had visited and I visited and saw something's wrong here baby's not eating because I saw the baby but babies never get hungry babies get isolated especially when you keep them in padded cells like cribs and bassinet sand and you know Gucci strollers with shocks and stuff you know you think about it the one muscle in a baby what's the one muscle the baby has that can't even hold its own head up like it's most important organ I can't even hold it up and uh net muscles where it where does the baby have muscles its tongue right for survival and what's the other one yeah it's got this Vulcan grip you know why cuz you're supposed to have the baby with you baby supposed to be you're always connected it's not supposed to be do you spend the last nine months totally connected and now we're gonna separate it and you'll notice just a point I'll make it as quickly as I can that Western people have relationships where they're close and far close and far close I'm firing anthropologists believe it's because of our cribs in our strollers because until you scream no one's gonna come touch you yeah and in the and so you but if as soon as someone's touching you well you were trained to disconnect and to always disengage and so you'll shoot yourself in the foot to disengage from people and then you'll written you'll scream to re-engage and everything's just I hate you I can't live without you I I love you I love you I hate you I hate you I can't live without you I can't so they actually checked the cultures in the the jungled cultures where we're babies there are no nurseries the babies with you as soon as it's born it's just with you and you know from the time it's born in the teepee you know it stays with you the they checked if their relationships have that same accordion effect and the answers they don't have that accordion effect so according to some anthropologists the reason that we're so schizo when it comes to our relationships is because of the way we treat our babies when they're born anyway the baby gets put in a very protective and beautiful environment and what does that protect a beautiful environment for us as Jews the sukkah the sukkah is the nursery now ideally you'd walk right out a yom kippur and straight into the suka and in fact Kabbalistic allah every day has its energy except for these four days the four days between yom kippur and Sukkot have no energy they meaning no specific energy meaning I know this is what is this up Thursdays there's Thursday's have an energy it's one of the Spheeris and it's in each hour is a different combination of God's name none of that this week today is called your tomorrow's called love sorry too much today is called your tomorrows called Hey Shabbos is above and sunday is hey what no it's well it will be Shabbos it's got Chavez energy but the hours of the day all the Kabbalistic stuff that happens throughout a day don't happen these days we are in limbo till we step foot in that suka now why God you set it up that way well one of the reasons is because you need the full moon for a holiday holidays happen on the phone except for the hidden one the hidden holidays Rosh Hashanah so the hidden holiday doesn't have a full moon yom kippur z-- because of the you need those 10 days but the but the real holidays happen on full moons and and that's are those are many different full moon holidays one is Sukkot obviously is on a full moon and pay socks on a foam insurace is not on a Food Basics in a full moon poram is on a full moon unless you live outside of it at Jerusalem tuba shots on a full moon too and so we want full moons okay full expression and anyway but the other reason is because you've got to build a Sukkah you got to get busy with the suckin if someone built sus looking for you so help somebody else build their suka my suck has already built so all we need help with this basically decorating cooking and logistics so if anyone wants to help with any of that stuff please let me know and also anyone who would like to sponsor some of the meals feel free the the sponsorships are on I don't even know where they are what's the name of that no know what's the name of that one that has said yes what's called Hesed that's it fun they call Tess it fun yeah that's it fun anyway anyone wants to help sponsor those meals help feel free right yeah that was yeah forget that part of you know this is the arms I was just using that as a Western version of it but I wound up going on that digression ignore that part yeah this okay is the arms yeah and that's why Tsukasa spelled with a sama it's like a hug yeah sook I and it has to have you know it has to have three walls at least you know which is getting towards the hug and and you're you're you're going to be hugged in the sukkah by by God's presence it's an amazing thing I mean think about what is the actual Mitzvah of so Kyle what do you have to do yeah nothing you don't do anything it's how many mitzvahs where you don't do anything you actually your whole Mitzvah is to dwell inside the sukkah to just be in there and you'll see by the way yeah you want to know a test of holiness is you know I mean God willing you won't see but you'll see people that have to leave the soca it's the weirdest thing they have to leave the sukkah it's a they think their leave it like this I gotta go have a smoke alright maybe I just want to go schmooze a little bit or like yeah I just like to hang out but they don't realize that they're actually being spit out suckas have digestive digestive functions just like Israel has a digestive function it either absorbs you either breaks you or it spits you out so cuz that's the same thing so you'll notice you'll feel your being is so good did you feel like I just want to go outside and hang out with people out there yeah but you're still the Land of Israel least to get spit out of the circuit you're still controlling in the lands well I think a lot of you are overwhelmed I don't think they're conscious of being overwhelmed but but I think that's what's happening is they're overwhelmed now let's get into a little bit of the understanding of this circuit now you are supposed to eat drink sleep and do every single thing you do inside that soak up you don't do anything outside this WI you want to play music do it in the sukkah you want to play cards do it the sucker yeah you want to smooth your schmoozing with somebody you're right next dose sucka can we just like move this into the second I give you all the times they're not sure they're welcome name I said but we wind up smoothing a little bit now we're just moving these likes were you were playing Jewish geography and after a while I'm like you know you know they're different scene you and me and I like what I'm doing a tour commandant and you're not he's like what do you mean and I grabbed both his arms an exponent like that okay let's continue our conversation because we wound up like five minutes where I mean this okay he's outside this okay I didn't even notice I just after while I was thinking why should I get the Mitzvah one of this guy's like millimeters away from being inside till I get him in there yeah get him inside the Mitzvah and make sure you're inside the Mitzvah and do by Rick mosquito repellants everybody by mosquito repellant and make sure that bugs don't keep you out of the suka because you know it's hard to sleep with those flies and so you know just get yourself a bug repellent so you're all set and sleeping something long-sleeve obviously so you're all set with that now regarding women in the sofa that's an interesting question our family strict about women in the sukkah but many families are are lenient about women Asoka's know why what's the difference between women and men when it comes to a Sukkah to answer is basically nothing we both have the Mitzvah but the difference is is that men have an absolute obligation meaning we cannot we can't just eat a sandwich somewhere that's not you know sort of like you cannot do that a woman can do that she's hungry she's in the kitchen she wants to have a little bite she can go ahead and have a bite inside the kitchen the man on the other end has to take it now if he's tasting something you know he's making a soup that he wants to just make sure it's okay he doesn't have to like take the ladle out of the house and into the sofa to taste the suit little things you can do and maybe he's just dehydrated little water i'm although I'll tell you the Jerusalemites like the real you know the gold-coated ones with the furry nets yeah they would I mean I doubt they'd even taste the soup which is quite a good reason to stay away from this soup but I am it's been a hug tasted now the they won't drink even a sip of water outside so they're super super careful in Jerusalem back to the Jerusalemites is the women are careful to always feel sick and they also sleep from the spoke of the women sleep in the Succa and so the very very intense like mash our beam communities the women are much more serious about soca than the rest of the world the rest of the world are lenient about soca because the men are also pretty lenient about s'okay if you go to New York you know I understand white people are lenient because you know sometimes it's pouring rain even you know like this seat that Jewish holidays were created for the Land of Israel that we created for for a medic in yeah so the United States of ASA has different inclement weather during suka and sometimes of rains and so it's so by the way it's rained here too but if it rains here this our sages tell us that it's as if God's spinning on our Sokka yeah I'm not supposed to rain rain means bad news for the Jews unless you're Chabad and then everything's good flip everything my page is completely what is called re write refrain they refrain literally everything into something bad you know like like there's like a car crash and they like must be they're supposed to be scrambled eggs you know zig zags in the back so I guess when they exchange ID you know maybe that's a maybe they're gonna get married or something so maybe their children are gonna get married so anyway the the sukkah is yeah so women are careful to sleep inside the soco's well eat drink and do all that stuff however they can be lenient for all kinds of things now why is that why are women distinguished from then the answer is is that all Commandments all positive commitments that are telling them women are exempt from so time-bound Commandments they could do them but they're exempt from them so but they're super strict about some of those loads so women like good luck finding a woman's gonna miss children it's a timeout commandment right slowly blown arrest Hashanah and it's a it's a positive - L blemish over but show me one woman who's gonna miss that I mean they got they got men blowing shofar throughout hospitals and stuff you know for women who gave birth and women were ill you know like there's chauffeur blacks going through all the words to make sure all the women heard them and that's with blessings and everything women will shake Lulla we're gonna get to move up in a second but let's let's uh let's close up the sukkah business so anyway women should be very careful to be in took as much as possible but you don't have to make yourself crazy now once in a while you'll be in a situation where there's only room for men in the sukkah what do you do that meeting there's 12 people the male couples and you have a a long table half the table it's all under the so kind except there's a balcony over half this look meaning that neighbors upstairs not they're so good and it's and you have to have the sky over the fatch that's to be the sky over the fence but you got a balcony over the thatch well guess where all the women are gonna be sitting over there under the balcony know the other person while the men will be under under the sky why we already said why because the men goodnight otherwise and the women could ease so you're not gonna like firm so I'm like there's something like like you know highly feminist man who says you know I'll just I'll just break this commandment in honor of letting the women sit inside you know the part of the soca that's up to kosher no no Tory takes precedence over these kind of types of chivalrous boots okay Tory takes precedence over that and so that'll be the situation sometimes and it's not a big deal I've sat inside actually because I was I was dying we had guests who were from America advanced over on their second day of circus and we only keep one day so we put the tailor - we were renting an apartment that only had room for our family over to Phil place since we don't have to be in it we'll just get our big table it'll be outside and half will be in our dining room because that all new was off the dining room so my family's at the dining room and they all sat in the sukkah so it worked perfectly yeah that was their second day in our we were done we were in simcha Tova yeah that's an excellent question not for now okay yeah that's comfort now figure the questions why do Israelis keep two days in Russia should not going there now why are we going into thatched huts and why is that the hug of God and so let's back it all up ready for this you're not gonna believe how this is gonna go remember earlier I asked think about how we all create stories around our dysfunction you know that dysfunction with reasons we call functional we think we're functional as long as we commit you know tell the story to a therapist of why things are the way they are somehow we're functional but dysfunction with reasons is functional and now what does that mean someone who has reasons so another way is saying someone who has reasons is someone listen carefully who's made meaning around all kinds of circumstances he's made meaning around all kinds of circumstance I'm using the word meaning now around all kinds of circumstances such that everything makes sense like as long as I can make everything mean that what it means so then somehow life makes sense did that did that mean anything to you guys if I can create meaning around if I can create meaning around here's some dysfunctional I for many years left the door of my house unlocked at night overnight for many years I left door of the house of life no why would I do something that is that sound functional or dysfunctional it's dysfunctional supposed to be man supposed to protect his family no I just so happens we live in a city that doesn't have those kind of domestic stuff going on but nevertheless it's got a lock use it your friends music anyway I would leave the house unlocked and I had my reasons why I did that I have my reason why I did that and the reason why I did that was to show the world so my wife show me show the kids how safe Jerusalem is look how safe Jerusalem is and I like that's nice why don't we just see how safe it is with the door locked every night okay do we have to have a our own personal example every single morning when we unlock when we open the door to see it was never locked do we need that and I realized oh my gosh this is coming from some crazy thing that that would happen when basically I was you know stuff about my upbringing became meant certain things to me and come back using the word meaning a lot certain things men things to me and by showing and this is where my whole daredevil surfer stuff is by showing that we're saved even in 25-foot waves a mile out in the ocean if I could show we're safe there that maybe we were safe that if I can keep the doors unlocked didn't were safe and maybe that maybe I gotta prove we're safe so anyway is this sound like functional stuff or a bunch of crazy meaning making which one everywhere together crazy meaning making well guess what you've been your biggest protector is God he's been protecting all the years of your life but you've been making crazy meaning making and so busy protecting yourself I bet you a lot of you even wondered how you're gonna make it like onions are they like how you're gonna survive your life like what are you gonna do how are you gonna afford a house of a car in a mortgage you can do all that rage I have you ever worried about that be honest said we're never worried about that okay keep your hands up if God ever left you hanging has God ever left you hungry I've never gone a few days without food I've never been without shelter you ever been homeless so you all slowly put your hands down like you're mine God has been batting a thousand with you but you treat him as if he's gonna drop you tomorrow you have been totally incongruent with the reality of God taking care of you and the fact that you'd even lose a second sleep over God protecting you as a joke because it's protecting you all this time and the only times you've ever been what you call not protect it is exactly what's turned you into the teacher that you are so that you can help because we don't need anyone's help who's talking theory we need the help of people who've been through stuff and God creates teachers and he helps us through our incarnation you live minion lives and the stuff that some of the scrap without yes they can go through was was part of it what's called in Hebrew a teak room it's a it's a spiritual spiritual rectification that happens through lifetimes God's never left you hanging and last night when we finish Yom Kippur we get to the point we're saying God you are my source of security my source of sustenance you are everything there's nothing but you then you're gonna go back to your house with the lock on the door and the reinforced cement and the alarm system they were in the and the what do you call those cameras that the security cameras and the understand and you got that picture there and that was painted like that and that curtain like that and that big that the staircase was you know that kind of mahogany wood on the bed meaning it's a giant crawling who's engaging your home is packed with meaning so your home where your dwelling all the year is like packed with all the stories you tell in these stories that you're trying to tell the world about you and if people can come over isn't it fun to show up of your house that they can like get to know you from like how you chose what you chose and so kiss is like no that's a joke hey no and by the way our home is also totally customized totally customized an issue your home should be customized to you it's great but we right now work like babies we just finished Yom Kippur we're in God's arms right now and all the stories we've been telling ourselves and that we're trying to tell the world don't count right now what counts is to go do well in a thatch Hut that couldn't even stand up too late like even a fairly strong wind would not the thing down little bit of rain everyone's running for their lives out of that face you know that and we had one year where surface to smithereens like there was nothing left no sucker was hit left standing ice hail it's like thunder lightning and like crazy more than once during the week mediate who's ever rebuild and shop is where you couldn't even rebuild again it was everything was taken down again with a major storm totally out of season that's a storm from like February what everyone's super destroyed we are putting ourselves in ultimate vulnerability yeah it's hard to sleep and that so call in with a story so my circa the first night so it's one year everyone's laying down all my family my walking my wife's asleep now my kids are all asleep I'm looking at the kids and that kids asleep because I'm here that kids asleep because I'm in here you know they're all asleep because their fathers in there protecting them you know that kids sad to say Mehcad something that concerns that finally get to my wife she's just like she's not sleeping I mean there ain't going in there until I'm in there and I'm like what about me I wanna sleep I couldn't sleep but after about an hour staring in the stop and the batch I finally got the point of so cos gods in their gods watching dinner feels Shh unplug the MAF everybody should not build up maybe you have amazing circus experiences by the way oh just real quick nuts when this rabbit in the back just rapping in the back he brings food wave your hand rabbi he brings food to a family every Shabbat from this class so if you'll feel better on Shabbat knowing and it's also going right into suka school if you want to give a little extra Sukkot the first guy young to this Sunday night this rabbi Ben Folds of my fisherman if it jingles little bite wrinkles [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] everybody not super be in this class which all definitely of yours versus it because it's post Yom Kippur and I'm gonna get you so I don't