Expirience miracles NOW

[Music] so welcome to practical spirituality herination turn on the old city of jerusalem overlooking the western wall today we're discussing how to live in a realm where you things are happening miraculous leave for you there is two worlds that our sages talk about they talk about a world of nature and they talk about a world of wonder they're both referring to our world because you can live in this physical environment either in a natural realm or in a wondrous realm you actually can create wonder in the physical realm and live that wondrous experience what does it mean the world of wonder what the world of wonder means is that you don't have to worry so much about the physical obstacles in your way you can just watch God iron them out for you as you move forward as opposed to the world of nature where you do have to worry about those obstacles and work your way through them and and you know most people most people aren't working their way through the obstacles of life doing their best use the words like try and try my best we've all talking about that you know but that won't trying language those are all the people who live in the world of nature now if you have the choice to live in the world of nature the world of wonder which one would you go for No yeah which one I'm asking all you guys that's just cute not just changed what world do you want to live in nature wonder which one well you want to live in the world of nature you want you're always gonna be in the physical world I'm asking you I don't live in a world where one where you have to fight through the obstacles of life or in a world where God irons them out for you which one yeah so yeah I mean I can't imagine there's anyone who would go for the or a little nature when they could go for the mother wonder world of wonders the Lions gonna lay down with the land well the nature is your lands gonna eat you so so obviously the world of wonder is the place that everyone would want to live so why doesn't everyone live there so you can have a few answers one answers and maybe they don't know how to lift it it wouldn't know how to do that ok there another one is they don't know it exists they were raised by parents who said life is art yeah and may and they grow up with those kind of parents and so they just thought life was hard and so if it's there must be obstacles out there the obstacles gee he was right life is hard you know maybe that's why or I got another answer that's possible yeah got another answer white people I got another answer which is probably the answer of four fifths of the people in this room if not five fifths of the people command and fight this on you so either four fifths of you or five festival the reason why you'll still live in the world of nature even after this class rather than the world of wonder is because that if you want to live in that world of wonder you have to sacrifice you got a sacrifice and what you got a sacrifice is not just the ego would be nice some of the Cinque one Jainism mention ego so we got a sacrifice is your life it's worse than me go know what I mean you gotta sacrifice your life and the answer is I mean if sacrificing life means you got a dime for it then what I really mean is you gotta sacrifice a me death and what is that many deaths many deaths are every time you fail or get rejected anytime you have to deal with people rejecting you that's a mini death why cuz it just kills the guy that's so painful when people reject you it's just so painful you all know what I'm talking about it's it's worse than failure it is horribly scary rejection is like you know and they even say that they that the number one fear over even death the deaths really the first one but so the number one fear is not death is public speaking because what would they think what are they gonna say you put yourself on the line of fire and now you can have a serious rejection going on so the better just to shut up rather than risk the burn of rejection ridicule of lack of acceptance right got that so so in order for you to get be in order if you to get the the world of wonder there's certain things you got to do for and one of those is you got to break through the fear of death which is really ego death - that's rejection a veteran you're gonna have to bump up against rejection and failure a lot of times in the process of it now you might be saying well gee grab I didn't you just say God was gonna iron out the obstacles yeah you can't you can't get to the if you can't get your obstacles without with that without you know think about it I mean let's say okay okay grab me hope does say God's gonna hear rid of my obstacles well yeah but you still got to get up an ad know what's gonna stop you well what if it doesn't work whatever it is you choose to do what if people don't receive it well what if I get ridiculed in the process you understand so you gotta be willing to sacrifice yourself in the process and all I was trying to say is the reason why you most likely won't live in the world of wonder after I explained how to live there is because you're just afraid to get going because you don't want get ridiculed you don't get you don't want to get you don't wanna fail in the end and what's the price for success by the way its price for success whatever you think about successful people in the world did many times well that lets you know something that the price for success is you're gonna fail many times as I like to say it most people taste failure once and spit it out successful people chew on the fat of failure you want to everyone try to chew on the fat of fat one two three [Music] together one two three he's chewing on some failure platter over there and by the way the fat of failure excretes things into survival and when you digest it it teaches its fullness it tells you exactly what you shouldn't repeat meeting move in that direction you were doing good but something you didn't around there wasn't a working you know path so you're gonna have to adjust that which may be quite high on the path of success but right there don't go back there go there it's these are pointers failures pointer you which way to go from wherever you've learned to get to till now the I just wanna for some reason I decided to talk about obstacles today so but I'm gonna talk about hadn't even the world wonder another reason why you might not live in the world of wonder it is just comes down to rejection Felger gonna step you do my hat I mean eventually you're gonna have to take a risk where you're like you're kind of burning your bridge back you know like the like the spanish the spanish conqueror who landed on some land and I think the Americas and maybe South America is in my was it and he realized that there's no way they will we the European soldiers will lose this they're all going to die McKinley once he saw the situation on the ground he said we're gonna crush it yeah we're not gonna do that we're gonna make so he had them burn the ships and so they all watch the ships burn and they all looked at their meters and what's this all about and he said he says if you ever want to see your family there's only one way out of here you're either win and we'll build new ships and leave or you will never see your families again you're never going there's no retreating from here and they want because it was no way back and so it's all so similar then often when you live the world of wonder you have to be willing to plate being like that and I have this all the time with that with participants in the possibly use seminar I get like okay when I do in New York's almost everyone's business and then they can afford in Israel less business myth and they can always afford it but when I tell all of them whether they're in New York are there in Israel as I say you focus on the what let God worry about how you focus on what the God worry about how what does that mean that you just stay focused on the what which is you'd like to be participating in the Scimitar which 8qu and let God worry about how you get it done so I just graduated last week twenty three men four of whom had no money and I asked him on the last day in front of everybody that one knew we had no money I just got well it was easy to I just asked is anyone willing to admit they came in here with no money and four of them raised their hand I knew him they weren't they didn't have to raise it yeah is letting them stay in the rooms but they all four raise their hands and we're all like brothers if you have no cares of it you're like predicted of him we know each other like our own smell after five days of together you know it's twenty five hours in five minutes five hours a day so I asked all four I said thank you are you paid up and the answer was yes all former pana to the cylinder each one with their own crazy story ask an elderly Jerusalem myth desk Adel New Jerusalem a man might have 10 12 14 16 kids but an elderly one asked him Tommy did you marry off all 14 kids he'll say - yes not only did I marry them off but I bought each one of them a house meeting he went in with some other father and through various miraculous wonderful wonderous ways yeah all 14 kids are married and all 14 kids have owned their homes because I bought them and now you're looking at a man who review went there on a Friday before Shabbos and you took a cab to his house and you're figuring out other guys 14 kids and meet you forgot your cap Mike so you're like the guy has 14 kids I'll just go upstairs to his house and ask him for 25 shekels to pay for the cab I'll pay him back after Shabbos that's very likely that there's not 25 shekels in his house including before their weddings and after their weddings and during their liaison and no no that's not just one old man in Jerusalem that's every old man in Jersey it's also every old man in Bnei Brak don't you try it don't take my word for it find an older is language there's plenty of the Kotel to find an old Jerusalem item and ask him how many weddings did you make you can ask them another thing did you have net have an extra $100,000 lying around that year and this is this this is a home word there may not be 25 shekels going in the shelves week after week after week and the answer's no they didn't have another hope they didn't have an extra $100,000 lying around for 14 kids ask them if they bought homes answers yes every old manual me without no exceptions it's your exceptions I'm part of a new generation where you like some do buy the homes summed up yeah I got hoodwinked to my first kid that's it no more homes after that like I learned my lesson it's still paying it off not sure exactly that but I'm not in charge of how I'm in charge of what now I probably would have got a lot quicker if I didn't feel widly because I don't think I'm a hundred percent in so I still gotta work on that that aspect whereas these other people represented so the question is the question is what's going on here what are these old Jerusalemites have that you need and the answer is this well there's I'm gonna give you a few answers but one of them is that they only focus on what not on the how but what is the one in their case well you tell me if you have ten kids let's say eight kids six kids can you do the American thing for like you know the people have a 1.2 kid and you were seeing the point to kid if you have a 1.2 kid you likely can afford it with double income families you can afford that kid the problem is is that you can afford that kid to be 38 years old there's a long hair plain crazy network to internationally networked video games stoned out of his mind not cannabis with no more pigmented skin because he doesn't come out anymore sitting upstairs in his baby blue room that you've built for him when he was five can you do that if you have eight kids no no that's not gonna be happening so what happens instead is you need an exit plan just like a startup you startup you exit you go public maybe you sell it you marry them off but you have come in with an inch and with this startup it's called the young family and you must have an exit plan when you have that many kids because you just not gonna be able to afford to keep them around the whole time and it's not gonna be very good for them now if you're one of those kids in one of those big families you really lucked out you know why because if your parents now have to marry you off when they're probably going to do so pretty young you know they're not gonna let you grow up too old in that DAWs because again we can afford you and so your parents are going to primary off pretty young but here's the thing now you're getting married off as opposed to marrying yourself off well let's take some random example here of someone who's ever tried to marry themselves off here I don't here ever try to marry themselves off Jessie J marry yourself off how'd that go 14 months and how old were you when you finally figured it out told you when you got married oh okay now I didn't mean to like strike gold on the very first person much but maybe you did get married um so this is a classic example of marrying yourself up okay when you marry yourself something you earn a totally different realm of potential success you're definitely gonna lose the age of marriage which is obviously traditionally much younger than 40 and the age of marriage is usually around the time of of what is called one sexual prime which is going to be for boys starting at 18 and that's probably going to be the best time to get married because otherwise you're just gonna create a lot of problems for you and others for you and other people soon-to-be wives yeah it's just not a very nice thing to do to someone's wife even though she's not married yet why would you treat her any different she will be married so 18 is a good year for boys to be married now of course today's 18 year olds could never be married so forget that but I'm just saying that that would have been good now traditionally if you go to all the Aboriginal the world in the places that haven't been touched by Western ISM you will still find that people get married boys get married between 14 and 60 and girls get married between 12 and 14 it's very interesting that Westerners have laws against the actual traditions of all communities in the world that haven't been touched by the West the men of what they're a man of 18 years old neither his mother's permission of man of 20 needed this mission from their parents to marry interesting and yet the 18 year old bride did not be nervous yeah it's very interesting how they did all this this is into yours now by the way I'm not saying it's bad that Western people you know move the marriage age up because again this it's not a the kind of system that values you know progeny in any way but the bottom line is is that is that 12 to 14 apparently is perfect when you leave them alone you leave civilizations alone 12 to 14 is perfect for the girls 49 to 16 is perfect for the boys now you may say how could a twelve-year-old ever be ready to get married and the answers by watching her sister get married when she was six me-tv sorry not the sister says the sister was 12 and you're a six year old little girl going to your sister's wedding well guess what happens when you're 11 what's what happens when you're 11 we start getting ready emotionally you start getting ready you're preparing yourself you don't even need to prepare yourself something's shifts inside of you understand and then that's how a 12 year old ranked and by the way she's not ready she'll be ready but then she's 13 where's your brother Thursday 14 and that's why I was 12 to 14 because it's just a matter of time till she's ready because she watched and if she's the firstborn daughter plus she watched her cousins they're married between 12 and 14 she watched her neighbors get married 12 14 she watched her sister hurt she watched her friends she went to her friend's older sister's wedding at 12 and she loves that girl because spends all her time in their house every day and she's not married at 12 and so so it's very interesting I and I don't know the history giving why the West took that right away now what do you think the Jews did all these centuries what do you think the Jews did for millennia 12 to 14 for the girls and 14 to 16 for the boys what do you think you bet you exactly what the ages work with boys as well now the Talmud actually the Mishnah actually gives us a cut-off for a minute there maybe it's even the ideal time but the Mishnah seems to say that 18 is perfect ferment 18 is perfect for men it doesn't mention women as far as what's perfect but but it does say Sherman ostilow by 18 to the hobo but Jewish history proves that it was much earlier so I imagine a teammate's that's like you don't want to go beyond 18 or maybe the mission is really saying that's the perfect age I think it's saying that's the perfect it is 18 they also can marry earlier you know and and also the there was also you could the list of Ages in Judaism are really more set up for the human psyche that's what I think white shows a to cuz think about humans psyche of anyone between birth and 3 he's like you're talking you don't need to be accountable for anything because you can't remember what you did yesterday so if you cooked your cheese toast in your father's VHS machine on Monday it does it's not worth punishing them very badly because even with any punishment you give him that might seem like a great idea on Tuesday you can't hold a two-year-old accountable they're just like wild animals in tents you'll see in Judaism no keepa notes it says that's the cosmic dental floss we were no citizens and no and no haircutting you let their hair grow because he don't turn him into some civilized being we all want to make civilize don't civilize them till he's got cognition of a sense of self that needs to be civilized it's not time for us socializing him right now it is time for him to just be high because he is why why would you make him something he's not let him being that's that's something a really big principle that many people don't discuss in Judaism is age-specific appropriate behavior age-specific appropriate behavior and that is that till three your wild let him be wild don't turn him into something he is not let the hair grow on that kid this comes three three comes to keep out pays Citiz for three old boys why because once you're three not everyone in three but certainly by three three and a half or four but that year is the year where you get your first sample of there's a me like as a cognitive entity entity there's a me a cognitive entity with a sense of self and I exist come for a soundbite come for somebody just here five minutes we just got to uh calacas so Riku so now he's wearing a kippah meeting you're responsible to something above you guys got past because you know there's need no explanation and now he's got senses which represent since this represent do the right thing that's what's it's is sorry since these are do the right thing now you can't tell two-year-old you can tell what to do told to do the right thing but it's like you know don't hold your breath for that he's - it's crazy wild animal later comes the age of five and five says the Mishnah that they need to learn the fish why because it's just not a time where you're you're like very intellectual so huh that kid with told me the actual written text talked along with the written text lots of it yeah give them a lot of that written text that's three to five you're gonna have to teach them the outfit and that's what we do we teach them all a bit thank you for helpful bit and then five columns the Commish and you'd give a lot of that a lot of that on your mother Lucia yeah now he's gone eight years straight just learning the written Torah eight years straight means he knows it backwards and forwards backwards and forwards you know there isn't our backwards and forwards you don't know none of that stuff cuz you're raised to the city I see them don't keep the mission well guess what nor the boom in fact for this party no one does not know why don't they do that it's beyond this discussion however I was the crazy father who said my firstborn must go according to the Mishnah and I sent him to one of those Michigan schools one of those schools that keeps the Mishnah and says fill them with Terra when you want to know something now there were I don't know how many years later but if my 22 year old son is that my Shabbos table he's at the Shabbos table and I'm quoting something from the Torah and I'd like to know where it says that and I remember about two words but hear you but I want to hear the whole sentence I refer to my 22 year old and I always look at him with wonder saying like you know all of Torah by heart and and he's just like that's what you did the minister dissent me to one of these weird schools but I mean how awesome would that be the rest your life evidence cyclope 'dick memory of the oh the actual interface between God and creation like how cool would that be to have that at your disposal at all times like a Google search my idea of the Torah at all times so I gave that gift to my first son I gotta tell you it wasn't easy so I gave that up for the rest of my students to the resume son they know jack and my oldest son knows all of tonight yeah and and by the way it has affected the rest of their understanding because later it says I'm permission and is trying to learn the oral law and then it says a oh sorry 13 the mitzvos what is it say some remind me the mission is you fertilize what was it was it miss to say about me no Bar Mitzvahs commissioners or did anyone know that Michele the girls at that lady knows you went to send if you have to memorize up here gals didn't memorize it my keys my girls grew up you have no choice you have to memorize all of your calvess for the national exam not they not the not like a special requirement this is like to take a national exam you can hand me a sitter okay don't worry about but let's get what I thought always ten me we're all guessing away yes yeah I don't think we went to my kids school no three let's let's go - lets go - Bar Mitzvahs so here's an amazing thing is that at 13 years old and girls at 12 you're not responsible for all of the commandments you got to do all this stuff why because that is the age where you go from girl to woman that's it we go from boy to man meaty it's a rite of passage it's a shift now every tribal community on this planet including our tribes have a massive rite of passage messer understand what write a passages who knows that term like for example if you're a Native American in India there was one tribe that puts you in a hole you had to be putting a hole in your Bar Mitzvah or Bat Mitzvah you go you're putting a pig you get to know yourself down there for a few months you know they send you a little raw deer meat or someone sarong you know cuz there's something normal a little water here and there yeah you get to know yourself in that pit and then when they raise you out of the pit if you weren't already dead from snakes and scorpions you know there were no significance perfect it's a different story but if you were not killed in the pit or died in the pit or whatever you came out a man or a woman now it was only about a happier layer you're now thirteen and a half but the Society of tribes throughout history do not tolerate children over the age of puberty over the age of Bar Mitzvah they don't tolerate children there it's not good for the society to not draw a line in the sand that there's no more being a kid after those ages she's very interested because Judaism has the same thing unless you're raised Modern Orthodox or conservative or reformed reconstructionists are unaffiliated if you are raised in the black attitude community there is a major line in the sand drawn for you and you are no longer tolerated as a kid kid stuffs no longer tolerated Jerusalem is a little more extreme man because no more bikes which is rough very rough at least European communities ride bikes you'll see old men with beards riding bikes in London and Jerusalem you'll never see after certain age no since they have these electric bikes people are loosening up a bit but it's okay it's starting to loosen up a bit because it's just hard to keep them off those things but but the a but forget the bike thing you're put in this long coat your 13 year old you're like a you're like a little model caricature of a rabbit you're a miniature rep in a long hope yeah black hat with a layer of glue around the rim foot on the head and expected everything you're trained three times a day you're studying for all day almost without brain it's no such thing is ADHD least in our community fry as in America but we don't have that here because there was a special education that they do special it it's a special type of education that they do here in Jerusalem and you can tell me where did you grow up so you'll tell me if they did that were you grow so I went to visit my same son you know my older son who knows there so I went to visit him in I had to bring his Sam you forgot his sandwich so I went to the you know he was he was like three years old I went to he was learning all of it so I went to the Heder men and I bring his sandwich and there's no one in the classroom so I start looking around and I find them out in the playground planks okay Craven okay put the sandwich back in the classroom on a spot and anyway this happens several times in the first you know the first couple months every time no matter what time I got them they're on recess so after the fourth time I went to the Rebbe you know the the teacher and I said to the teacher I said every time I come you're on what do you do kid here you know I'll came at home maybe I'll learn something cuz this kids like can really sit and learn extreme levels of concentration so I'm like what are you doing he says he's three years old these are three year olds what do you expect from a three year old and like I guess you're right let him play that was it come back to next year and I notice then ten percent less time late come back the next year twenty percent listen what is the secret to education traditionally throughout our centuries of Jewish education you treat every single kid as if he's ADHD every single kid ADHD and you slowly draw them in at first it's lots of recess less class time less recess more question less recess more question let's recess more lesson is that gonna be hard on a kid like my who didn't need any of that recess yes but we're gonna sacrifice him not the entire community of normal kids we're not sacrificing the normal kids for the ones who make us teachers feel good when someone doesn't understand one of my lessons I do not blame the kid that's my fault I missed something not the kid you got that I'm an educator he's not an educator he's a kid if he missed something that's not his fault that's my fault or it's my education systems and lo and behold here is my kid by the time they were near Bar Mitzvah age they have almost no recess and 100% of the kids in their class and all the other classes around a bad age drought all of Jerusalem are sitting and learning full-time full-time there is no such thing as ADHD if you treat kids the way the Torah teaches us and how does the Torah teach us to raise kids the Torah teaches us to raise kids as they are don't put a keep on a kid who's too don't even cut his hair when he's 13 give him a rite of passage when he's little don't put him in a classroom all day don't try to make him in don't try to create him in your image he's created in God's image and God knows how he should be and that is wild and slowly tamed yes we're gonna sacrifice the kids who could concentrate my kid was that kid little bored out there and he played with everyone else he went up bullying kids I think you know maybe he was too bored so I just fair I'll start picking on you nobody he had nothing to do out there sometimes he stayed in it and studied during recess but we sacrificed them not normal people here's you and hear the craziest part of this whole story and then we'll end with that check this out so so what sports mine um for anyone here know me and all they don't know me at all sorry okay sir maybe very good nicer if I start this week what is sir oh my gosh tomorrow I'm supposed to circle again I keep an eye on I keep on in the surf report you know when it's gonna get big and so it was big earlier this week it's gonna be a big tomorrow again next week you're gonna see big waves it's gonna be about 15 feet on Sunday but the winds are gonna be all wrong then we'll get any surface and the longer we have to wait till Tuesday to paddle out when the storm ends is a big storm coming so anyway by the way I'm going in how it's gonna affect us I just know it's gonna affect the way so it could be a windstorm without rent but knowing Jerusalem now check this out so I'm known for surfing what's my other sport yeah what kind of biking mountain bike some like kids for adult sport not at all this is we're gonna go play in the dirt and don't don't aren't looking to play in the dirt okay we're gonna go play in the dirt what's my favorite thing to drink oh yeah craft beer yeah very good and it's late at night where do I prefer to be where do I like to be late at night we started it with the broken blood vessels on my forehead all the push pins the Schmidt's on the sauna suit last night those guys like broke the blood fumbling for bed in this myth you know those Spicer I trade that same son of mine to be an elite mountain biker didn't make sense to teach him serving because we're in Jerusalem he just wouldn't get enough time in the water you have to get a kid in the water every day if you want to teach you to surf mountain biking's much more you know easy to learn but I trained him as an elite mountain biker when he was 11 years old the people in the country said that he was the number one mountain biker in the state of and why did they say that why do they need to say that just look at the results of the competitions in the answer is the reason they said that is because the competitions are on Shabbat and my kid would rather die than write him out Mike on Shabbat and so the whole they could do is watch videos so whenever I was riding with top pros cuz I write on the professional level when I ride with the pros and I'd show them the videos of my son you know when I sing videos I'm saying he's flying higher than the ceiling and longer than this classroom at 11 years old with the bike sideways cuz he missed the jump now what you watch if you watch at YouTube and you know red Red Bull videos you then jump off and you you there's ways you deal with that but you watch my son with a bike Rd gone sideways me just bikes higher than he is he's upside down and going for full crash and burn the kids somehow pulls his bike he's like an instinctual animal on this mountain bike pulls the bike back under him and Lanza's it if nothing happened at videos of this and it's since he's little and they all said like we're so glad he's shomer Shabbos because otherwise he would be the number one mountain bike in the country but instead he's you know studying all day but when I take him out riding this is the kind of rider he became no next part of the story my son's now for 13 14 15 and when he was about 15 years old maybe he was already 16 years old now he's got like you know the $7000 bike and all the body armor in the latest helmets and the everything you know a kid like that you give him the top equipment you're not messing around with that kid and then so he has top equipment I had top equipment it's a lot of investment for him to have this equipment but I always kept them in good equipment and I keep saying hear from me I'm going riding wanna come second I can't come today hey everybody I'm going right when I come mmm I'm not feeling like it here probably I'm going right you want to come a little short on sleep right now I don't think I have the motor skills because we're doing you know really advanced downhill riding I don't think I'll have the motor skills right now over and over and over you know I get after about it like three months I finally go here rummy it's been like three months every single time you give me another excuse why you're not going right what is going on at which point my son of Hermes looks at me and he says daddy daddy you never grew up you missed your right of passage he knows terms like reddit Pascal's my son yeah you missed your rite of passage because Westerners aisa united states of a sub of the EU the European Union of the a sub they don't want you to have a right of passage they like the buying habits of kids but as wealthy adults they like kids and toys adults should have lots of toys I don't know exactly what they're thinking but no rite of passage in the West daddy you never had your way message but yeah anyway when I was 14 you locked me in this long coat you put me in that glue it on a hat and you sent me to study Torah 14 hours a day every single day until Shabbat we're not allowed to any way to do any of those kinds of kid things I grew up you did you want to hear something so sweet he and I have been connecting lately a lot then I was on my way mountain biking and he said he's coming I don't have a bike for really anymore I put him on his brother's back it was also like he loves riding with me but it's just to be with me it's a real people person he just wants a time with that might his younger brother the 16 year old bit but I rummy gets on all the gear of a 16 year old brother all the body armor gets on my 16 year olds bike which is also an old bike and rides with me guess what he's just as good as the when he was a little kid he's just as good I mean not set foot on these trails these trails have heard not for the faint of heart when Rocky Mountain Jews from Denver come to visit me they're just always like oh my god the skills of Israeli mountain bikers like way beyond but you deal with in the rock in the Rockies again we don't have groomed trails by the National Service no neck gaiter service you know making our trails smooth as a you know a little baby they're not like that so so you either learn to be incredibly good at technical skills here or you don't enjoy the ride so that's way goes now the most important factor of all of this is you marry off your children you you marry the muck and what's the beauty of being married off by your parents you know the beauty is is that if they got to marry off your the merchandize tummy sit if you were selling merchandise and people gonna come look at it obviously because they're not gonna buy it without saying it would you take good care of that merchandise of course you we're gonna take very good care of that merchandise if your responsibility is to marry your children off our responsibility that Westerners throw out if you're gonna take responsibility for your children and marry those kids off you take good care and it's nice to be a kid in that fit because you know someone's watching out for you know you're gonna be treated in a way that that your purity is gonna be my highest highest value so that you're someone whose marriage able so if I have two son and laws do you know what you call son in laws and Yiddish the word is a diem a damn you know what a diem means 8 a.m. and what's word aid a witness or testifier someone who testifies 8 a.m. our testimonies why would the word for son-in-law in our community beat testimonies the answer is that kid is testimony that boy that married your daughter is testimony that you took care of your daughter you did not throw her to the wolves but you took her from your home and you introduced her to a new home where she could build her and the boy you took for her is a witness to that he is a testimony to the fact that you took care of your truth trying to marry yourself office Westerners do you see is I mean though the facts are on the ground it's an abject failure and you see how the age is just the second Westerners like for example my grandmother was not an observant lady but they married her off when she was 16 because if we're talking about the 1930s she was married up when she was 16 because that's the way things went but the next generation had to already marry themselves as my father got married at 30 it went from 16 to 30 it's not because he's a boy it's because that was the generation that stopped taking responsibility for their children meaning their children's marriages it just bumped up like ten years like like that anyway then we all be blessed to be our age I don't know if I can ever become an adult and I'm not sure I should because I missed it and I dismissed it so I bless myself to be safe when I'm doing my sports to make to make mature decisions in those various situations I seem to put myself in daily but unless you make good choices may you if you also mr. Ryder passage while cement good choices and that but let us all be committed to raise our children in such a way that that they are yeah everything's age-appropriate they're not playing tennis six hours a day at forty five years old okay and or golf and even though I started this class on a totally different subject we ended on this subject but I'll tell you all that that if you want to really get everything that I shared just focus on what it is you want God we'll worry about the hell we learned from the spy ten spies said how can we do this and it came back with long list of reasons when the Jews can't confidently individual Joshua and Khalif two other leaders went to Israel they came back and just said we can do this and the reason why is because they were focused only on what the others were focused on health Carl even yoshua and Joshua were so focused on what they didn't even answer the detailed list of the spies the ten spies Eretz Doha Monique great place nice place that's what their answer was it's a nice place what about it is all the tightness all the what about answering all the complaints of the tribes we don't get involved in details we're focused on what so in your life my friends worried about what my god worried about hell you do that business feel that relationships and do that and daily schedule you do that at work do that people you do business with you always just think 100 percent focused on what you like God way back and then you will get nervous everyone shalom if you enjoyed watching this well watch some more send it click it forward it join it subscribe to it you know keep coming on in joining me in this amazing movement to make a big difference in the world and the biggest thing you can do of all is to join the yom tov media club calm please go online yom tov media club calm