Control Freak?!?

Shalom welcome to practical spirituality whether you're supposed to just kind of go with the flow or whether you're supposed to speak up in situations that's uh it's a tough call I think that most people are afraid to speak up anytime so they should probably over speak up for a while until they're already getting negative feedback for speaking up too much uh then you got people who are um you know already overdoing it and they need to pull back bit and just kind of let things be um I'm the guy who speaks up a lot so I I can't find the balance you know for example if you come to with me to a concert if we're at a concert together and even a big concert meaning it could be thousands of people this concert if I notice the mixes off so I will go to the soundman I will find the soundman he usually in the back of the the arena and I'll find the soundman and I'll just go up to him and say uh listen the uh uh this the string section is not in the mix you know um and then he'll listen and he'll realize that he's been so focused on the drummer and the keyboard player and the and the singer and the guitarist that whatever he was focus on them because that's what everyone's actually hearing whereas the strings are only you know like they're they're an effect that's happening that no one's really paying attention to including the soundman so the soundman's like oh okay thank you so I I and I've been back in my seat thinking did that guy just say like what an idiot you know and then I just listen to see if the strings come up and if the strings come up then I knew I was right if the strings don't come up then this guy's just saying like I'm an idiot so meaning I should have just and my feeling is at the concert is just keep to yourself like leave leave people alone and so this concert won't the strings very much inside the in the mix and um there's been times where I got back to my seat and I heard the strings come up and I looked up at the sound guy and he found me in the audience and he went like this like that's me so I guess would you say I was supposed to speak up one time I hassled a sound man so much at an event that we couldn't hear the horn section very well oh no it was also yeah it was horns and we couldn't hear the horns section very well like barely hear them so after three times hassing he finally looked at me and he says they're just for show they're not supposed to be in the mix they're just for show and and then I looked at this entire Orchestra there were like 20 musicians and these Russians Russian horn section was so carefully turning the pages and playing their parts and in the front row you could hear them but nowhere else you could hear them because they were not the mics weren't on and so in this case like I should have just minded my own business I when do you speak up when you not speak up I have this issue in the mikah several times a week where you know we got a changing room then we got the pool room and in the pool room you know everyone's dipping in the mikas and in the changing room people are getting back dressed and the conscientious ones use Stick deodorant the non-conscious ones just go they're just like and the entire Chang room turns into some you know deodorant which to me is capitalist conspiracy to begin with but the whole place smells of that and now even the furthest pool in the back of the pool room is coming out of the Mikvah to get some air and he's getting a mouthful of some guy's de owner it because it travels all the way to the other room so do you say something or do you not say something so I say something I say something meaning if I don't run out of the mikah but if I go to the changing room and I see a potential culprit you know a potential culprit for spraying I I just say don't like you know find another place to spray yourself or get you know get a stick because we don't want to breathe your breathe your smells so I'm not embarrassed to say things to people but a lot of people are and it's a a good way for the world to go to hell is not to speak up I'm bringing simple things like sound in a concert or or smells in a in a ritual bath but but the world would go to hell if people didn't speak up and we have that issue we had that whole issue during the it kind of got ushered in during the Obama years little Hiatus during Trump but speaking in favor of trump during Trump's four years was a good way to lose all your friends and family and uh and then we had four years of Biden where it really became like speech I mean it was turn the world was turning Marxist we like you weren't allowed to speak up at all really and and um and then the uh and then came uh you know like the secret Trump voters you know who were like enough of this stuff you know let's get back to reality and and let's properly govern our Our Lives govern our communities govern our families govern govern our reality with speaking up because that's what keeps Society from you know from Evil So speaking of is very important but you got to know when you're being a control freak and uh and that's hard I don't know how to tell you where that line is but I guess you'll get negative feedback if you're controlling too much of of the situation so if you're overly controlling you'll probably get negative feedback so that's when you pull P back and if you're otherwise speak up and you know what you can use every situation as another chance to deal with your social anxiety just meaning speaking up is pretty scary and so every time you speak up use it as a practice you know meaning ah should I shouldn't I should I shouldn't I you should just to practice speaking up and a human being is called a madaba human being is called a a speaker right and and since we are called speakers meaning self- expressors so the more self- expression the more human you are the more happy you'll be you know like every every creature in creation is happiest doing its thing you know lions are happiest seemingly sleeping but the uh but you know monkeys are happiest in swinging from trees and so speakers or again in Hebrew the class called human is called speakers because we're the only ones who have that ability and and uh speakers do best speaking up that's when we do best and we all appreciate it you know when we hear a musician speak up or an artist speak up or you know on their painting and uh you know we we certainly fill we'll fill stadiums for people who are speaking up using their creativity in their song so it's it's it's a huge part of being human and uh certainly government needs to be uh promoting it and and we need to be doing it and again if you get the negative feedbacks you know you overdid it back off a bit and uh and in the home you got to be careful you got to choose your battles when you're dealing with wife and kids husband and kids is you got to choose your battles because because uh you know these people you're living with you know you can make a you can make a comment in some situations and get away with it because you're walk out but in the house you know you can you can really uh mess things up also uh women carry a certain amount of pain inside of them and if that pain is flaring up if her Pain's really strong and you just want to make a simple comment like uh like you'd prefer her to leave your teabag in the tea you know like she makes your tea and she keeps taking out the tea bag thinking the tea steeped enough but you're the kind of guy who likes his teabag to stay inside the cup so you would think that'd be pretty harmless to just say hey if you don't mind just leave the tea bag in the cup you know it's one less thing to do if anything you're doing her a favor but um if her what what eart toally calls the pain body or what in the possible youth seminars we call the and by the way we're opening up a new seminar this coming week in English which're is like so if anyone felt like they missed last week's seminar you did but we're doing another one this coming week just never done this before our backto back seminars first time in 24 years so if anyone was kicking themselves Su this coming Sunday yeah this is your chance for intensive growth anyway the um yeah and you stay on these guys okay I was shocked they weren't there last time and um and and you're going to make millions more later with the expression that it gives you if you think you're going to make more money by missing it you're very very wrong you're going to be 10 Xing after okay so um anyway but the self-expression is uh if if her pain body or what in the possible you we call the misery comfort zone is high that day it's like it's it's kind of flaring up so all it takes is asking her to please remove the teabag and all hell breaks loose do you not appreciate anything I do like whoa so anyway so when it comes to speaking up in the house you got to got to measure yourself carefully to not throw off the balance of things and uh and kids take parents very seriously so even if they do the opposite they're still uh it's weighing heavy in what you're saying so choose choose carefully what you're going to say and and in general praise the general rule for the home instead of speaking up against what's not going so well is to praise what you like praise what you like so it's always good to praise what you like okay